Post the very best in obsolete and failed technology

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ladron: Sep 15, 2007; eso es lo que es

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Someone please explain?

one guy posted a picture of some obsolete tech related to smoking, another guy made a joke about it, referencing putting your dick in it to enjoy the pleasure of the vacuum, but doing so while driving and thus causing an accident, and then a THIRD guy showed up and out of the blue basically said "gently caress you" to the second guy.

hth

# ? Jul 26, 2017 03:39

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 07:57

Vic: Nov 26, 2009; malae fidei cum XI_XXVI_MMIX

The joke was he puts his dick in it? Please continue this is embarassing.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 04:05

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Vic posted:

The joke was he puts his dick in it? Please continue this is embarassing.

No, the joke was is that OBVIOUSLY no man can resist putting his dick into anything vacuum related. Which pissed off a third party who was all "This is why we can't have nice stuff! gently caress YOU!" then some other dickhead came along and made a joke based on one of the other people's avatar text. I think that last one was the worst.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 06:00

Johnny Aztec: Jan 30, 2005; by Hand Knit

This thread is sucking so hard im tempted to put my dick in it

# ? Jul 26, 2017 06:07

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

This thread has gone from suck to blow.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 06:10

Light Gun Man: Oct 17, 2009; toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN; Lipstick Apathy

I feel bad for anyone who can't handle or enjoy a dumb dick joke

# ? Jul 26, 2017 10:42

Grand Prize Winner: Feb 19, 2007

Putting your dick in a vacuum is by no means an obsolete technology

# ? Jul 26, 2017 10:50

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Spy_Guy posted:

Calculator update. I got myself one of those magnifying glass lamp thingies and got to work cleaning up the Hamann Manus R.

WIP:

Finished result looks good, though:

Bonus Curta

This post was stuck in my mind so I picked up my grandma's machine when I was at my parent's place:

I thought it had to be absolutely ancient but apparently they made it until '78 :ussr:

. So I'm not sure exactly how old it is, there is a serial number but I haven't found any lookup database and supposedly they were reset occasionally anyway.

Weighs as much as my desktop PC, although I supposed if you spin the handle fast enough, it could achieve comparable number of operations per second. Despite of the massive weight, the actual build quality is not that great, some of the machining is actually pretty nasty and a few of the registers slip and don't count correctly but I'll try to repair it later.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 11:12

Trabant: Nov 26, 2011; All systems nominal.

Wilford Cutlery posted:

The original Smart phone

unghhhhhhh

... nice

# ? Jul 26, 2017 15:16

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

mobby_6kl posted:

This post was stuck in my mind so I picked up my grandma's machine when I was at my parent's place:

I thought it had to be absolutely ancient but apparently they made it until '78 . So I'm not sure exactly how old it is, there is a serial number but I haven't found any lookup database and supposedly they were reset occasionally anyway.

Weighs as much as my desktop PC, although I supposed if you spin the handle fast enough, it could achieve comparable number of operations per second. Despite of the massive weight, the actual build quality is not that great, some of the machining is actually pretty nasty and a few of the registers slip and don't count correctly but I'll try to repair it later.

That is...astoundingly beautiful.

If you ever find yourself willing to part with it for a reasonable sum, I'd definitely be interested.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 15:16

Vic: Nov 26, 2009; malae fidei cum XI_XXVI_MMIX

mobby_6kl posted:

This post was stuck in my mind so I picked up my grandma's machine when I was at my parent's place:

I thought it had to be absolutely ancient but apparently they made it until '78 . So I'm not sure exactly how old it is, there is a serial number but I haven't found any lookup database and supposedly they were reset occasionally anyway.

Weighs as much as my desktop PC, although I supposed if you spin the handle fast enough, it could achieve comparable number of operations per second. Despite of the massive weight, the actual build quality is not that great, some of the machining is actually pretty nasty and a few of the registers slip and don't count correctly but I'll try to repair it later.

Oh man! Alright here it is in action.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhhjIgunyFQ

The label reads upper label reads "Felix", the circular label reads Factory Kursk - "S-chee-et-masch" which is a russian portmanteau for calculation machine.

I was like 5 in '89 when I saw this one in one of the offices in "Enlightenment Institute" in Czechoslovakia. It was no longer used obviously but my dad pointed at it and said "Hey look a computer!" He was right but I couldn't figure out a way to play any videogames on it or where you put dick in it.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 18:46

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Horace posted:

You call that a smoker's pack? Here's a proper smoker's pack:

50s Chevy option. Powered by engine vacuum. Push the little lever and it sucks the ash off your cigarette and traps it in that glass bottle hidden in the engine bay.

Too bad Chevys are terrible

# ? Jul 26, 2017 18:56

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Iron Crowned posted:

Too bad Chevys are terrible

mlyp

# ? Jul 26, 2017 18:57

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Kelp Me! posted:

mlyp

Sorry about your ownership of a Chevy

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:02

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Iron Crowned posted:

Sorry about your ownership of a Chevy

sorry about your dumpster fire of a posting career :tipshat:

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:35

Spy_Guy: Feb 19, 2013

mobby_6kl posted:

This post was stuck in my mind so I picked up my grandma's machine when I was at my parent's place:

I thought it had to be absolutely ancient but apparently they made it until '78 . So I'm not sure exactly how old it is, there is a serial number but I haven't found any lookup database and supposedly they were reset occasionally anyway.

Weighs as much as my desktop PC, although I supposed if you spin the handle fast enough, it could achieve comparable number of operations per second. Despite of the massive weight, the actual build quality is not that great, some of the machining is actually pretty nasty and a few of the registers slip and don't count correctly but I'll try to repair it later.

Aw man, that is awesome.

The first real arithmometers, the Original Odhners were manufactured in Gothenburg at first. Eventually they decided to outsource to Russia where they were manufactured for a fair while.
At some point they brought the manufacturing back to Sweden, but a lot of Russians had the blueprints and expertise, so they didn't stop manufacturing the machines.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:39

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Just as I'm gearing up to make my own Curta someone better at it all than me done beat me to it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJESsCbJ2Rs

I'm still going to finish building my SLA printer though. Scavenging parts from a projector and my lovely filament printer.

# ? Jul 27, 2017 11:10

Aix: Jul 6, 2006; $10

SLOSifl posted:

I noticed the last few flights I've been on no longer bother with the no smoking sign at all. There's the seatbelt sign and a wifi sign, but no permanently lit "no smoking" sign. They still had ashtrays until recently too. I bet "sky jitney" Alitalia still has both though.

New planes actually still come with ashtrays because you need a place to put out cigarettes in case someone illegally lights one

# ? Jul 27, 2017 11:50

GotLag: Jul 17, 2005; 食べちゃダメだよ

Aix posted:

New planes actually still come with ashtrays because you need a place to put out cigarettes in case someone illegally lights one

"In the smoker's eye" works for me

# ? Jul 27, 2017 15:17

Spy_Guy: Feb 19, 2013

Humphreys posted:

Just as I'm gearing up to make my own Curta someone better at it all than me done beat me to it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJESsCbJ2Rs

I'm still going to finish building my SLA printer though. Scavenging parts from a projector and my lovely filament printer.

That one looks a lot easier to demonstrate than mine!
This is so drat awesome!

# ? Jul 27, 2017 16:53

bongwizzard: May 19, 2005; Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"; Grimey Drawer

Aix posted:

New planes actually still come with ashtrays because you need a place to put out cigarettes in case someone illegally lights one

So like an open but not empty can of soda/beer/anything?

# ? Jul 27, 2017 19:36

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

So i just read that Wink was acquired by Will.I.am's tech company so expect a failed home automation company in the thread's future.

# ? Jul 27, 2017 22:54

Gann Jerrod: Sep 9, 2005; A gun isn't a gun unless it shoots Magic.

What do you mean, Wil.i.am created many successful inventions, such as the Puls "smart cuff" and the "genius-phone" camera case.

# ? Jul 28, 2017 02:22

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Gann Jerrod posted:

What do you mean, Wil.i.am created many successful inventions, such as the Puls "smart cuff" and the "genius-phone" camera case.

I just imagine his tech company designing things, and he has the final say and makes the products 100% retarded.

# ? Jul 28, 2017 02:25

GutBomb: Jun 15, 2005; Dude?

Gann Jerrod posted:

What do you mean, Wil.i.am created many successful inventions, such as the Puls "smart cuff" and the "genius-phone" camera case.

https://jalopnik.com/5919274/williams-extremely-illegal-delorean-impounded-by-police

This used to be a Delorean.

# ? Jul 28, 2017 03:24

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Nothing of value was lost.

# ? Jul 28, 2017 09:02

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

GutBomb posted:

https://jalopnik.com/5919274/williams-extremely-illegal-delorean-impounded-by-police

This used to be a Delorean.

I was having a great night.

Now I am crying...

Thanks a lot, jerk!

# ? Jul 28, 2017 09:03

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

GutBomb posted:

https://jalopnik.com/5919274/williams-extremely-illegal-delorean-impounded-by-police

This used to be a Delorean.

I almost like it to be honest.

# ? Jul 28, 2017 09:34

Lizard Combatant: Sep 29, 2010; I have some notes.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

I just imagine his tech company designing things, and he has the final say and makes the products 100% it started.

# ? Jul 28, 2017 10:32

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Gann Jerrod posted:

What do you mean, Wil.i.am created many successful inventions, such as the Puls "smart cuff" and the "genius-phone" camera case.

let's not forget CNN checking in with noted political correspondent and not at all all-around embarrassing human being "will.i.am" via hologram on election night 2008

since that groundbreaking moment we've been seeing marginal talents appearing live via hologram just about nightly on the more reputable cable news networks so it's clear "will.i.am" has always had his finger on What Works in Tech

# ? Jul 28, 2017 12:11

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

Pastry of the Year posted:

let's not forget CNN checking in with noted political correspondent and not at all all-around embarrassing human being "will.i.am" via hologram on election night 2008

since that groundbreaking moment we've been seeing marginal talents appearing live via hologram just about nightly on the more reputable cable news networks so it's clear "will.i.am" has always had his finger on What Works in Tech

'hologram'

# ? Jul 28, 2017 12:22