Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Escobarbarian
Jun 18, 2004


Grimey Drawer
I don't think they're replying to you personally there.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer
WELL I'M AGREEING WITH THEM.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Netflix is doing a TV version of Altered Carbon which is kind of a similar idea as San Junipero in that it involves uploading minds. It takes place in a future where everyone has a device called a "stack" attached to their brain and it is basically a backup brain. If you die your stack is read and reuploaded into a new body. They also use the stack for interstellar travel since they can use it to transfer a mind across space instead of expending the effort to send a body.

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer
I have that book, but I haven't read it yet. I should do that before the series come out.

BSam
Nov 24, 2012

muscles like this! posted:

Netflix is doing a TV version of Altered Carbon which is kind of a similar idea as San Junipero in that it involves uploading minds. It takes place in a future where everyone has a device called a "stack" attached to their brain and it is basically a backup brain. If you die your stack is read and reuploaded into a new body. They also use the stack for interstellar travel since they can use it to transfer a mind across space instead of expending the effort to send a body.

That sounds pretty cool

You should watch Dollhouse.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Snak posted:

I have that book, but I haven't read it yet. I should do that before the series come out.

It's fantastic.

Also, Iain M Banks does the opposite idea, with virtual afterlives being used as hells in Surface Detail, but you should read some other culture books before that one (they're all fantastic, and SD doesn't expect you to know anything going in, but it benefits from knowing the setting)

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

Jay Thomas passed away today. Which sucks. Even if you don't know the name you'd know him. He's been in a ton of shows. One of my favorite things is how he'd show up on Letterman every Christmas to tell Dave his Lone Ranger story every year and then throwing footballs at the Christmas Tree. This was the last time he did it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfygCxkQZeY

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

raditts posted:

IIRC it read like an advice column written by angry MRAs.

Yeah, it was a really hilariously awful attempt at parody, they rightfully got called out on it, and then stormed off because their genius was misunderstood.

It was so terrible that it took like three months for one of them to actually fess up to writing it.

quote:

Gone Girl
by "Amazing" Amy Dunne

Dear Amy,
I don't know how to tell my friends not to spoil movies I haven't seen yet! How do I get them to stop?

Unspoiled in Carthage, MS

Suck it up. I love spoilers, and there's gonna be a lot in today's column.

Dear Amy,
I've been dating my boyfriend for eight years now, and we're not even engaged. But every time I see a baby on the street, I feel my biological clock tick-tick-ticking. Unfortunately, he's not ready to commit, much less be a father. (He's so paranoid, he insists on using a condom, even though I'm on Seasonale.) But I'm ready. I'm more than ready. Do you think it's time for us to talk?

Unpregnant in Carthage, MS

You said he insists on using a condom. That's good news! Lemme tell you why. No one's forcing you to take birth control (although I'd still flush one per day in case he gets suspicious). Count two weeks back from the start of your next period. On that day, and for five days after, insist on having sex as often as possible. Once he's asleep, turn that condom inside out. Bam! You've got a golden ticket to a veritable fountain of baby juice, even if you might have to do a little squeegeeing to get a workable amount. I'll let you figure out how to handle it from here. Hint: it involves a turkey baster and a little KY. If he asks any questions, remind him that all birth control has a failure rate, then slam your own head into a bannister, and threaten to tell everyone he hit you for getting pregnant. He'll have no choice but to stay with you. Best of luck!

Dear Amy,
Last week, at the height of an argument, my hubby slammed my face against the wall and called me a oval office. Immediately, I packed my things and headed off to the women's shelter, but I'm wondering if there was another way to handle that situation.

Unbecunted in Carthage, MS

Oh, Unbecunted, I'm a little disappointed in you. A women's shelter? You don't want to be one of those women, do you? I know I sure don't! So let's rewind this a little bit. He slams your face against the wall and calls you a oval office? Here's what you should've said: "I'm the oval office you married." Good one, right? That kind of zinger is the steppingstone to a healthier marriage, one built on violence and mutual distrust.

Dear Amy,
I never thought I'd write these words, but... MY HUSBAND IS CHEATING ON ME. The man of my dreams has turned those dreams to ash, our mutual trust dispersing like so many sugar storms. I want to confront him about it, and possibly work out our marriage, but I just don't know how to approach him. What should I do?

Uncertain in Carthage, MS

Confrontation is for the weak. So is divorce. Near as I can tell, you have one option: frame him for your murder. When people see he brutally murdered his wife, they'll all see him for the monster you know him to be. Lucky for you, all you need is a blank journal, a handful of pens, a little rubber tubing, and a few common household items.

Step 1: Backdate your journal to the day you met and write about how awesome he is.

Step 2: As you work forward, gradually hint that he may have a violent streak. It's important to use different pens here, to avoid the impression that you wrote it all in one sitting. That's the first thing police would suspect because it's not like people who journal have favorite pens.

Step 3: Bleed yourself, a little at a time. This will come in handy when you're staging the crime scene later. Freeze the blood. Or refrigerate it. Or keep it in the pantry. It's not like forensic techs can tell how fresh your blood is.

Step 4: Steal some urine from a pregnant friend. This step is optional because even I'm not sure how the gently caress you could use this to your advantage. Forensic techs can definitely test your blood for hCG. And they'd do that long before they'd subpoena your medical records. But, you know, go ahead and get a positive pregnancy test on file. It can't hurt!

Step 5: Once you've gotten to the point in your journal where "this man may kill me" is the organic conclusion to an entry, it's time to put this plan into action! Throw blood around your kitchen like you're in Sweeney Todd and make only a cursory effort to wipe it up. You want the blood to show in a Luminol sweep, so it looks like he did it and, lazy man that he is, took a swipe at it with a little bit of 409 and the Swiffer. Then, leave your diary in an obvious (but not too obvious) place so police are guaranteed to find it!

Step 6: Drive around a while and bloviate to no one. Your plan is loving sweet, and people need to know, even if your audience is none but a lonely psychic blindsided by your errant transmissions.

Step 7: Drown yourself in the nearest lake or river.

I'll be honest, dying is a pretty significant drawback. But who wants to live if they can't work things out with a lying, cheating idiot?

Dear Amy,
I'm writing a novel and I feel like maybe it's just a touch too breezy. How can I give it some thematic heft?

Unliterary in Carthage, MS

Toss in some poo poo about the recession. It's still topical! If you really want to connect with readers, remind them that homeless people are scary (BOO!), Entertainment Weekly layoffs are tragedies of Shakespearean proportions, and the sound of a trust fund dwindling is the saddest music in all the world.

Dear Amy,
After arguing with my husband nonstop for hours last night, I left. With nowhere else to go, and no money for a hotel, I decided to stay at my ex-boyfriend's house. He keeps hitting on me! What should I do?

Unhappy in Carthage, MS

Seduce him, bite him so it looks like self-defense, slash his throat as he comes, and instead of calling the cops, calmly drive home and walk into your husband's arms, covered in blood.

Dear Amy,
Last week, my boyfriend broke up with me, and I'm having a hard time getting over him. Any advice?

Unloved in Carthage, MS

Tell him to gently caress you really hard, until you're good and bruised. Then tell the police you were raped. Duh.

Pictured: The intended result.Pictured: The intended result.Dear Amy,
My husband and I are about to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. Thing is, I always feel like I put more effort into finding a thoughtful -

Wrap a length of twine around your wrist and twist it until you bleed. Then tell the police you were raped. Duh.

Dear Amy,
I keep asking my boyfriend to put the goddamn seat down -

Smear some wine on your undies and run around, screaming, in front of a surveillance camera. Then tell the police you were raped. Duh.

Dear Amy -

Shove a wine bottle up your rear end and thrust until you can no longer walk. Then tell the police you were raped. Duh. Look, I don't know why I have to repeat myself. This should be your go-to solution. Consider all other advice to be a sound Plan B. Why? Because the cops never ignore rape victims, and accused rapists are always, always convicted on the strength of the victim's testimony.

Dear Amy,
I'm currently dating a men's rights activist, and that kind of guy's a real keeper in this age of nervous, post-feminist men. Trouble is, you can only go to the putt-putt course so many times before the little plastic gnomes begin to haunt your dreams. Do you have any fun date night ideas?

Unliberated in Carthage, MS

Ask him, politely and sweetly, to take you to go see Gone Girl. You can thank me later.

In No Way Does the Movie About Me Play on lovely Cultural Assumptions About Rape 10/10
I Now Have a Fetish for Doogie Howser's Bloody Dick 10/10
I Now Have a Fetish for a Quarter of the Head of Batman's Dick 10/10
Where Was David Fincher? Not Directing, That's for Sure! -15/10
I'm A Total Sociopath. Even as a Puppetmaster, Nothing I Do Makes Any Sense Whatsoever. -15/10
Overall 0/50

Just look at that poo poo.

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Season 2 trailer of Shannara Chronicles which will be on Spike of all places. Comes back in October.

http://www.darkhorizons.com/shannara-chronicles-second-season-trailer/

DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.
To my knowledge the guy that actually DID write that Gone Girl review doesn't even do many reviews for the site anymore. It's mostly a two-hander these days between Joseph Wade and Marty Schneider, who it must be said are generally good people, solid writers, and have some really smart insights about film.

I'm friendly with both of them, and I don't know if I'd ever have the nerve to tell them this to their faces. But while they didn't deserve the kind of hate mail they got over that review(*), I don't mind saying, out loud, that it was a loving embarrassment. It was far below their usual standards, completely poisoning the well of an otherwise worthwhile discussion in favor of what turned out to be unfunny, mean-spirited, elitist wankery. From looking at their regular output now, they appear to have learned from it, which is great. If they ever happen to come across this post, I hope they know that the reason that review pissed me off (and still does) is not because I disagreed with it, but because I expected something more intelligent and open-minded from their brand.

(*And let's be clear, THAT'S why they bailed. The hate mail they got for that review—which included a few death threats—was more proportionate to what Martin Shkreli would deserve. They didn't resign in protest, they were chased out with torches and pitchforks.)

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
Watching episode 2 of gently caress Scientology season 2 and the question I've been asking for years still isn't answered: Why don't the good people in Scientology admit to the bad stuff that goes on, we're well past the point of proof now. This poo poo is 100% undeniably happening.

Slamhound
Mar 27, 2010

X-O posted:

Jay Thomas passed away today. Which sucks. Even if you don't know the name you'd know him. He's been in a ton of shows. One of my favorite things is how he'd show up on Letterman every Christmas to tell Dave his Lone Ranger story every year and then throwing footballs at the Christmas Tree. This was the last time he did it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfygCxkQZeY

Eddie!

:smith:

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer

precision posted:

Watching episode 2 of gently caress Scientology season 2 and the question I've been asking for years still isn't answered: Why don't the good people in Scientology admit to the bad stuff that goes on, we're well past the point of proof now. This poo poo is 100% undeniably happening.

Are there good people in scientology?

If yes, they are being blackmailed. But honestly, if you've done something so horrible that you'd rather support scientology than have it come to light, you're probably not a good person.

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames

Snak posted:

Are there good people in scientology?

If yes, they are being blackmailed. But honestly, if you've done something so horrible that you'd rather support scientology than have it come to light, you're probably not a good person.

Elizabeth Moss seems like a good person. But I mean, there are so many Scientologists that there kind of have to be good people in there

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer

precision posted:

Elizabeth Moss seems like a good person. But I mean, there are so many Scientologists that there kind of have to be good people in there

I mean, morality isn't black and white, but if there's definitive proof that you are part of a dangerous cult that hurts people all the time and you don't denounce them... how good of a person are you? Like, yeah, it's complicated. But we're talking about rich people here, who are the ones reaping the benefits of the scam.

edit: And yeah, I like Elizabeth Moss a lot too, but you gotta remember, you're talking about actors here, a profession that is based on being able to pretend to be someone you're not. There are celebrities who I am pretty sure are genuinely good people. I could be wrong, but there isn't a giant piece of evidence that they aren't, like belonging to a giant exploitative cult...

Edit: new Tick is good.

Snak fucked around with this message at 06:58 on Aug 25, 2017

Rocksicles
Oct 19, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo

precision posted:

Watching episode 2 of gently caress Scientology season 2 and the question I've been asking for years still isn't answered: Why don't the good people in Scientology admit to the bad stuff that goes on, we're well past the point of proof now. This poo poo is 100% undeniably happening.

I love it when people run with my nicknames.
It keeps me coming back.

It was a good episode. I think i'm Mike Rinder is getting a bit queer eye for the ex scientology guy with his suits.

edit:

THE TICK!!!!!!!! get some.

Snak
Oct 10, 2005

I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.
Grimey Drawer
Well I watched all of the new The Tick. I liked it. It's definitely off the wall and its own brand of humor. I can't really compare it to the first live action series because, while I remember loving it, I've drank so much since then I don't remember anything about it.

The biggest thing I can say is that if you hated the Tick costume in the pilot, they changed it to be much better.

Party Plane Jones
Jul 1, 2007

by Reene
Fun Shoe

GreenNight posted:

Season 2 trailer of Shannara Chronicles which will be on Spike of all places. Comes back in October.

Shannara had one good episode in the first season then whoa baby it nosedived completely. To call it schlock would be a compliment.

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Is that why Manu Bennet's going back to Arrow, then?

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames

Party Plane Jones posted:

Shannara had one good episode in the first season then whoa baby it nosedived completely. To call it schlock would be a compliment.

I mean, the Shannara books are so blatantly Tolkien ripoffs it almost counts as plagiarism. I mean beat for beat.

I AM GRANDO
Aug 20, 2006

precision posted:

Watching episode 2 of gently caress Scientology season 2 and the question I've been asking for years still isn't answered: Why don't the good people in Scientology admit to the bad stuff that goes on, we're well past the point of proof now. This poo poo is 100% undeniably happening.

They're brainwashed. There's a podcast I like called Oh No, Ross and Carrie that interviewed an escaped scientologist administrator, and he basically said it just never occurred to him to leave or that there was anything wrong with the awful human rights abuses he was required to endure.

He also said that Anonymous' war against scientology inspired tons of managers and leaders to leave and permanently crippled the church's ability to operate, and that the church would have collapsed outright if Anonymous would have kept it up for another year or two. That makes me really sad about what 4chan has since become.

Dugong
Mar 18, 2013

I don't know what to do,
I'm going to lose my mind

Speaking of Black Mirror, a teaser for Season 4 released today. Last season was mixed but Junipero and Shut Up and Dance were incredible.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH85obU350E

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust

Brainwashing explains why Moss also says that Handmaid's Tale has nothing to do with feminism.

spudsbuckley
Aug 29, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

(and can't post for 5 years!)

Dunno if anybody is watching The Mist but i've sort of changed my initial low opinion of it because it actually got pretty interesting in the last 3 episodes or so.

Still not a patch on the movie but i'll give it props for doing its own thing.

Shageletic
Jul 25, 2007

Twin Peaks is the best show of the year. Goddamn. GODDAMN

Nate RFB
Jan 17, 2005

Clapping Larry

Shageletic posted:

Twin Peaks is the best show of the year. Goddamn. GODDAMN
I genuinely can't believe that it exists, as a product to consume in general. What a wonderful thing.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

precision posted:

Watching episode 2 of gently caress Scientology season 2 and the question I've been asking for years still isn't answered: Why don't the good people in Scientology admit to the bad stuff that goes on, we're well past the point of proof now. This poo poo is 100% undeniably happening.

Wait til you hear about [all organized religions].

Shageletic
Jul 25, 2007

Nate RFB posted:

I genuinely can't believe that it exists, as a product to consume in general. What a wonderful thing.

I don't even know if I can even recommend it. It took two seasons (and a lotta skippable eps) a movie, a movie of cut scenes, and years of speculation to create a transcendental watching experience for me. It's so niche that I can easily see its not for everyone, but for me its everything right now.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.


zoux posted:

Wait til you hear about [all organized religions].

But enough talk, have at you!

magiccarpet
Jan 3, 2005




The Sinner is basically David Fincher TV. It moves crazy fast and President Whitmore outdoes himself. I cannot believe we don't have a thread for it.

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

magiccarpet posted:

The Sinner is basically David Fincher TV. It moves crazy fast and President Whitmore outdoes himself. I cannot believe we don't have a thread for it.

Yup. It's shockingly great. The previews looked good but I had no idea it was going to be this good.

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames

zoux posted:

Wait til you hear about [all organized religions].

Plenty of Catholics admit that the Catholic church is full of pedophiles and coverups though, for example. All Scientologists are forced/required to deny that anything has ever been done wrong in the CoS.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


HBO put the first episode of The Deuce on their streaming services.

Parakeet vs. Phone
Nov 6, 2009

precision posted:

Plenty of Catholics admit that the Catholic church is full of pedophiles and coverups though, for example. All Scientologists are forced/required to deny that anything has ever been done wrong in the CoS.

A lot of them genuinely assume that it's lies or misunderstandings. Plus the rank and file have their media heavily censored, so they may not even know.

To add to what was posted above, the ex-Scientologist on Oh No Ross and Carrie was essentially sentenced to a few years in Scientology Jail for cheating on his wife. If I remember right, he dutifully checked into a shabby dorm room every day for a few months to think about what he'd done, until a few days into the protests when he suddenly realized "Wait...they're right, this is all bullshit, I can just leave."

That's the mindset of the average person in the group. It's brainwashing, they just go along with the flow until something in them clicks and it falls apart.

Also, at least from what Ross and Carrie found from their investigation, most of the lower levels of Scientology are basically filled with the same people who'd be deep in a pyramid scheme, if an MLM person found them first.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

The latest ep of Difficult People was great, but five minutes after I finished I realized that it had a pretty hosed up ending. That didn't detract from it at all. Also, Lola is still a garbage character. Give her lines some depth.

X-O posted:

Jay Thomas passed away today. Which sucks. Even if you don't know the name you'd know him. He's been in a ton of shows. One of my favorite things is how he'd show up on Letterman every Christmas to tell Dave his Lone Ranger story every year and then throwing footballs at the Christmas Tree. This was the last time he did it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfygCxkQZeY
My mom loved Darlene Love going on Letterman every Christmas and singing. I'll have to ask her if she remembered Jay too.

DivisionPost posted:

To my knowledge the guy that actually DID write that Gone Girl review doesn't even do many reviews for the site anymore. It's mostly a two-hander these days between Joseph Wade and Marty Schneider, who it must be said are generally good people, solid writers, and have some really smart insights about film.

I'm friendly with both of them, and I don't know if I'd ever have the nerve to tell them this to their faces. But while they didn't deserve the kind of hate mail they got over that review(*), I don't mind saying, out loud, that it was a loving embarrassment. It was far below their usual standards, completely poisoning the well of an otherwise worthwhile discussion in favor of what turned out to be unfunny, mean-spirited, elitist wankery. From looking at their regular output now, they appear to have learned from it, which is great. If they ever happen to come across this post, I hope they know that the reason that review pissed me off (and still does) is not because I disagreed with it, but because I expected something more intelligent and open-minded from their brand.

(*And let's be clear, THAT'S why they bailed. The hate mail they got for that review—which included a few death threats—was more proportionate to what Martin Shkreli would deserve. They didn't resign in protest, they were chased out with torches and pitchforks.)
And here I thought that they canned Current Releases because there was word from up high that they had to share the column with g0m and other FYAD people to make it funny and they refused. That sucks to hear. Even though it got really, really bad by the end of its run, nobody deserves that.

CR was ahead of its time (in a bad way, but that still counts)- they equated "good movie" with "good politics" by the end of its run a couple years before it became mainstream. It was also pretty hilarious that Prof. Clumsy straight-up quit writing reviews because of g0m's review.

get that OUT of my face fucked around with this message at 07:01 on Aug 26, 2017

DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.

muscles like this! posted:

HBO put the first episode of The Deuce on their streaming services.

It's basically "gently caress Capitalism: The TV Show." Very Wire-esque in how there isn't a lot of plot movement, just a lot of character and setting-building that revolves around Capitalism taken to its logical and most distressing extremes.

Perfect choice of theme song, too. Been a fan of that Mayfield track since college, I always hoped some director or music supervisor would wise up to it.

Escobarbarian
Jun 18, 2004


Grimey Drawer
The title "The Deuce" makes it sound like it's gonna be a show specifically about the invention of scat

MiddleOne
Feb 17, 2011

Escobarbarian posted:

The title "The Deuce" makes it sound like it's gonna be a show specifically about the invention of scat

It's quite a shitshow

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust

I saw the first episode. Reminds me of Treme and not The Wire. I also hate James Franco.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

strangeneighbor
Feb 13, 2014

Mu Zeta posted:

I saw the first episode. Reminds me of Treme and not The Wire.

Care to elaborate?
Loved the first episode myself. A little slow but so are all the David Simon premiere episodes. This is gonna be on of the best shows ever.

  • Locked thread