PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

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Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

Guy Mann posted:

you people

# ? Sep 14, 2017 17:22

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 00:40

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

I have never in my life seen anyone clapping like that in real life. Must be annoying as hell.

But then, again, white people punctuate every word with slide whistle, so it's probably not that bad in comparison.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 17:28

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Maybe its a code... Enhance.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 17:51

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

white people post like this, and black people post like THIS!

# ? Sep 15, 2017 01:29

EmmyOk: Aug 11, 2013

your friend a dog posted:

close the thread emmy

I think about this every day

# ? Sep 15, 2017 01:56

Poops Mcgoots: Jul 12, 2010

EmmyOk posted:

I think about this every day

Less thinking, more doing!

# ? Sep 15, 2017 02:04

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

EmmyOk posted:

I think about this every day

it's pretty good when people post funny forums quotes imo

# ? Sep 15, 2017 02:33

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

EmmyOk posted:

I think about this every day

Wuss.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 02:37

Crocoswine: Aug 20, 2010

Koyaanisgoatse posted:

white people post like this, and 👏black👏people👏post👏like👏THIS!👏

# ? Sep 15, 2017 04:08

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Are those oranges? Are oranges black now?

# ? Sep 15, 2017 04:13

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Solice Kirsk posted:

Are those oranges? Are oranges black now?

Oranges: the new black.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 04:14

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Oranges: the new black.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 04:17

Trauma Dog 3000: Aug 30, 2017; by SA Support Robot

Solice Kirsk posted:

Are those oranges? Are oranges black now?

Hisssss

# ? Sep 15, 2017 04:51

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Solice Kirsk posted:

Reminds me of one of the best FAQs ever written:

https://www.gamefaqs.com/redemption/918379-skee-ball/faqs/29010

Mods rename me [spirit fingers]

# ? Sep 15, 2017 06:05

Goa Tse-tung: Feb 11, 2008; ;3; Yams Fan

Solice Kirsk posted:

Are those oranges? Are oranges black now?

they are small pastries

# ? Sep 15, 2017 11:14

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Hogge Wild posted:

quote

# ? Sep 15, 2017 11:25

EmmyOk: Aug 11, 2013

Spanish Manlove posted:

Wuss.

Me: close the thread the quotes don't make you laugh even when you get them

Also, me: What if someone quotes you and the world realises what a cleber and smart poster you are, also funny and good at highfiving

# ? Sep 15, 2017 11:31

GodspeedSphere: Apr 25, 2008

EmmyOk posted:

Me: close the thread the quotes don't make you laugh even when you get them

Also, me: What if someone quotes you and the world realises what a cleber and smart poster you are, also funny and good at highfiving

E: sorry got lost thought I was in the IoSM thread.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 12:02

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

I did a google search for 'clapping between every word' and the first result was this:
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/clap-emoji-%F0%9F%91%8F'

There, now we all know.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 12:54

Jinh: Sep 12, 2008; Fun Shoe

Hmm looks like the clap emoji meme is going up, up, up on the trending graph. Better invest now

# ? Sep 15, 2017 13:02

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Jinh posted:

Hmm looks like the clap emoji meme is going up, up, up on the trending graph. Better invest now

👏 BUY! 👏 BUY! 👏 BUY! 👏

# ? Sep 15, 2017 13:06

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

EmmyOk posted:

Me: close the thread the quotes don't make you laugh even when you get them

Also, me: What if someone quotes you and the world realises what a cleber and smart poster you are, also funny and good at highfiving

BUT if you close it you can tell yourself that, if it was open, you'd be getting quoted all the time and that's the only reason you're not being

# ? Sep 15, 2017 13:14

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Personally, I am completely colour-blind when it comes to race in emojis.
Mostly because my computer shows them as unicode characters, and not as pictures that can have different skin colour.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 13:16

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I did a google search for 'clapping between every word' and the first result was this:
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/clap-emoji-%F0%9F%91%8F'

There, now we all know.

👏ThErE,👏nOw👏We👏AlL👏kNoW👏

# ? Sep 15, 2017 13:41

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Goa Tse-tung posted:

they are small pastries

hello

# ? Sep 15, 2017 13:48

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

if you aren't asian like me you aren't allowed to use yellow smilies

# ? Sep 15, 2017 13:51

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

How are you all so bad at this

# ? Sep 15, 2017 14:05

Altared State: Jan 14, 2006; I think I was born to burn

Hogge Wild posted:

if you aren't asian like me you aren't allowed to use yellow smilies

👲

# ? Sep 15, 2017 14:06

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Hogge Wild posted:

if you aren't asian like me you aren't allowed to use yellow smilies

What if you're from Springfield

# ? Sep 15, 2017 14:06

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

Hogge Wild posted:

if you aren't asian like me you aren't allowed to use yellow smilies

Oh, I thought you said similes at first. Was disappointed that I was going to have to stop adding "...like an Asian" after all my insults.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 14:22

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Lysidas posted:

whatever the drivers intention in putting a baby on board sign in their car, ive always found the most useful interpretation to be

"warning: this driver probably slept 4 hours or less last night, and could be distracted at any time by sudden uncontrollable vomiting or making GBS threads from the small human in the back seat, keep your distance for your own safety"

# ? Sep 15, 2017 16:46

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012

EmmyOk posted:

Me: close the thread the quotes don't make you laugh even when you get them

Also, me: What if someone quotes you and the world realises what a cleber and smart poster you are, also funny and good at highfiving

# ? Sep 15, 2017 16:53

El Gallinero Gros: Mar 17, 2010

Does anybody have that quote about the girl who spends her childhood looking after siblings, then ends up with a goony manchild and confuses having to take care of him for true love because she's been doing it for so long?

# ? Sep 15, 2017 18:03

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

El Gallinero Gros posted:

Does anybody have that quote about the girl who spends her childhood looking after siblings, then ends up with a goony manchild and confuses having to take care of him for true love because she's been doing it for so long?

This it?

WHEEZY KISS A DUDE posted:

This is where you are wrong, I'm afraid.

These disgusting, deplorable human beings will find a woman who loves them, but it will not be a healthy woman nor will it be a healthy definition of love.

It will be a woman who grew up too fast. Maybe it was the result of a messy divorce, perhaps due to the death of one of their parents.

This girl will be thrust into the position of matriarch for their younger siblings, waking them up for school, packing their lunches, doing their laundry, cleaning the house. Helping with their homework. Of course, these younger siblings didn't know any better, and would routinely leave their dirty dishes laying around. And an older child already traumatized by the loss of a parent isn't going to want to make things any harder for the ones they need to take care of. After all, they just want them to be happy. So they adjust to cleaning up. They adjust to being yelled at when they are out of Twinkies. Maybe the little brother, who isn't so little anymore now that a few years has passed, gets really angry, shouts "YOU'RE NOT MOM!" and hits her a little. But it's ok, she understands, he's still grieving the loss, however metaphorical, of their mother and he's not really mad at her. He loves her.

They will equate love with mothering, and will extend into their romantic lives.

They will try to mother every guy they ever date. Most guys will catch on right away and kick her to curb, where she will bitch and complain about guys not appreciating her, how can they keep leaving me after I clean their apartment and cook them dinner every night?! I always make sure his bills are paid, his clothes are clean. I tell him he should wear the deep blue oxford shirt with the wheat colored tie to work.

Meanwhile, these man-children were obviously raised by a mother who cleaned up after them, cooked for them, cleaned for them. They were never told to clean their room; instead, it was cleaned over the weekend for them while they spent it at a friend's house. They were never told to do their laundry; they simply left it in a pile on the floor of the laundry room. In most cases, the father did the same thing, so they grew up equating romantic love as having a woman that cooked and cleaned and did the laundry while the man sat around in his boxers drinking beer and watching college football, flinging the remnants of buffalo wings hither, thither, and yon, hollaring to their wife to bring them another can of Schlitz and this time it had better be open. Maybe Daddy yelled a lot more by the time Saturday night rolled around, and it was the 3rd quarter of the UVA/VT game, and maybe he would accidentally hit Mommy, but not on purpose, just because he was excited, but she understood and it was always ok the next day. He wasn't mad at her. He loves her.

And they will meet women, somehow, and each one will run screaming when she sees his apartment, or on the off chance she's drunk enough not to notice, will gag and wretch when she undoes his fly and smells a crotch that hasn't been maintained for a week.

He won't understand why these girls don't want to take care of him, to clean his place up for him, to cook him dinner. He doesn't understand why they tell him to go gently caress himself when he asks if they can go to the laundromat for him. He just wants someone to care about him, which he thinks means someone to care for him.

Somehow, he'll wade throw a pile of soda cans, pizza boxes, shat-in underwear, cum tissues, and dirty dishes waist deep and find their way outside, dressed in their finest Pokemon t-shirts and cargo shorts and maybe go to a bar. He heard something about Guitar Hero night at this one place, and of course he always gets 99% on Through The Fire and The Flames on Expert Difficulty so it should be a good night.

Somehow, she'll be able to get out of the house for a night. Her friends, or more than likely, her one or two only friends in the world, girls she went to high school with who got knocked up at 17 and can sympathize with taking care of kids at such a young age, want to drag her to this bar that plays some stupid guitar video game so they can all laugh at the people who take it way too seriously.

They meet, they date, they start a relationship. And it's the most perfect storm of fuckeduperry since Hurricane Katrina.

She will cook and clean and wash and dry, and he will play video games and leave his dirty dishes out on the coffee table and his dirty clothes all over the bedroom floor, and she will happily clean up after him. She'll make sure he eats home-cooked meals, and he will make sure to never rinse his plates off and put them in the dishwasher. She'll bring him another Schlitz while he watches The World Series of Video Games, flinging those little cardboard holders that Hot Pockets have on them hither, thither, and yon. And maybe by the end of the Team Deathmatch round of Modern Warfare 2, he gets a little too excited and takes his frustration out on her, but it's ok because she understands that he's just mad at videogames and not her. He loves her. And he knows that she understands that he's not mad at her. He loves her.

They will be happy as surrogate mother and man-child, each enabling the other's hosed up psychological issues, until they, unfortunately, have a few children and she decides she's had enough, she's been reading books, she knows this isn't normal. She has two choices. She can leave him, or she can kill herself.

Mommy's gone now, honey. You're going to have to take care of your little brother and sister.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 18:08

Phy: Jun 27, 2008; Fun Shoe

Hogge Wild posted:

if you aren't asian like me you aren't allowed to use yellow smilies

# ? Sep 15, 2017 18:11

El Gallinero Gros: Mar 17, 2010

Kenny Logins posted:

This it?

That's the one, thanks

# ? Sep 15, 2017 18:24

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Oranges: the new black.

Checks out.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 18:40

Zamboni Rodeo: Jul 19, 2007; NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Oranges: the new black.

Jedit posted:

Checks out.

I was gonna re-quote these in the funny quotes thread, and whaddya know! I'm already here!

# ? Sep 15, 2017 18:50

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Kenny Logins posted:

This it?

This sounds like the Blue Story backstory.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 18:51

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 00:40

Big Grunty Secret: Aug 28, 2007; Just one question, though. Is there a way to take off my pants?

Inescapable Duck posted:

This sounds like the Blue Story backstory.

Not nearly enough Star Wars toys.

Is there any update what happened to her? She was so stubborn and obtuse I thought she was a troll, but stranger things have happened.

# ? Sep 15, 2017 18:58

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

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