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Update: Ketchup and corn takes home the prize! The head honcho for the whole place came by to "check things out" and cast the tiebreaker vote. He was talking about how he makes his with shrimp. I kept my mouth shut. For these kinds of things I tend to do 100% competitive effort or completely ignore that it's happening. It's just how I'm hardwired. I'll probably do the same thing again next year with the same consequences and complain about it in the same way.
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Oct 27, 2017 21:30
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what in gently caress, in what bizzaro world do corn and catsup and shrimp exist in chili i think you meant to post this in the unnerving stories thread 
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Oct 27, 2017 21:35
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Please make an ironic entry next year with literally just ketchup, corn, ground beef, and shrimp. thanks in advance
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Oct 27, 2017 22:24
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GrAviTy84 posted:Please make an ironic entry next year with literally just ketchup, corn, ground beef, and shrimp. thanks in advance The secret is a couple extra tablespoons of sugar
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Oct 27, 2017 23:27
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Croatoan posted:For me I've made a few things with a bunch of effort and they go over so super well that it's pretty nice when I didn't bring something and a few people were really disappointed. Made my day.
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Oct 27, 2017 23:36
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i like nice words
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theres a will theres moe posted:The secret is a couple extra tablespoons of sugar and a single dash of tabasco
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Oct 27, 2017 23:55
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Hauki posted:and a single dash of tabasco Whoa now let's not get too crazy now
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Oct 28, 2017 00:05
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no comment:
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Oct 28, 2017 02:07
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Yeah, sometimes I help clean out the aquarium scum at the lab too.
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Oct 28, 2017 02:45
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Hauki posted:no comment: Juniper berries and thyme?
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Oct 28, 2017 03:00
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Stringent posted:Juniper berries and thyme? yeah, 'botanical' cocktail from a quasi farm-to-table place i'm just baffled as to why they left all that poo poo floating in it, try getting that down as is without choking on a chunk of juniper
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Oct 28, 2017 03:08
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GrAviTy84 posted:I still say someone should make mapo tofu and insist that it's chili in one of those. lol this is ace
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Oct 28, 2017 07:07
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GrAviTy84 posted:I still say someone should make mapo tofu and insist that it's chili in one of those. Remind me when's the deadline?
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Oct 28, 2017 09:37
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The love of bread machines in this thread completely baffles me because they make lovely bread and are exactly the kind of shortcut this forum attempts to educate people out of
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Oct 28, 2017 10:11
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pile of brown posted:The love of bread machines in this thread completely baffles me because they make lovely bread and are exactly the kind of shortcut this forum attempts to educate people out of yeah, gently caress the nostalgic childhood smell of dough fermenting in a machine built to make and proof dough! smells like laziness to me (they make lovely bread, but really for mixing and proofing dough, pretty sure they're alright - just bake it on a stone or whatever?)
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Oct 28, 2017 10:17
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If you have no other reason to have a KitchenAid they're a cheaper option for a dough kneader. Their core issue is their shittiness at replacing an oven. Timers are cool.
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Oct 28, 2017 10:22
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mindphlux posted:yeah, gently caress the nostalgic childhood smell of dough fermenting in a machine built to make and proof dough! smells like laziness to me Having parents so lovely as to feed you bread machine bread explains a lot about your posting.
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Oct 28, 2017 10:50
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Pretty sure I was never going to win this one since there are some fantastic entries, but I got an excuse to make a solid batch of Texas Red and just finished off the last of it yesterday so it's all a win to me. Edit: basically the same thing that Mr. Wiggles did, which was a great entry.
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Oct 28, 2017 13:52
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Bread machine bread is better than most grocery store bread. Not as good as real homemade but a good amount more hands-off. There is room in this world for more than one method of making bread.
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Oct 28, 2017 13:59
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That Works posted:Pretty sure I was never going to win this one since there are some fantastic entries, but I got an excuse to make a solid batch of Texas Red and just finished off the last of it yesterday so it's all a win to me. Hey good for you! We should all make chili! And yes, bread machines make bread that is not as good as real down and dirty homemade bread, but it is also better than store bought stuff. It's a good compromise for when it's just too hot to bake or when you're just too busy. No different from using a slow cooker to make pulled pork.
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Oct 28, 2017 16:33
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Mr. Wiggles posted:using a slow cooker to make pulled pork. Ok, this is going too far.
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Oct 29, 2017 01:52
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Stringent posted:Ok, this is going too far. ? What’s wrong with that
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Oct 29, 2017 01:56
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pile of brown posted:If you have no other reason to have a KitchenAid they're a cheaper option for a dough kneader. Their core issue is their shittiness at replacing an oven. Timers are cool. With slow ferment you don’t even need to knead. Just fold a couple times over the course of a few hours before you do the first proof on the counter.
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Oct 29, 2017 03:01
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I think I would like bread machines more if they all made a standard pullman loaf size instead of that oversized slice that's unwieldy.
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Oct 29, 2017 14:59
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30 Goddamned Dicks posted:With slow ferment you don’t even need to knead. Just fold a couple times over the course of a few hours before you do the first proof on the counter. With no-knead you don't even need that. It's just a great way of baking.
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Oct 29, 2017 17:09
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therattle posted:With no-knead you don't even need that. It's just a great way of baking. Yeah, my usual home bread is fridge-fermented no-knead. The most working it gets is being shaped into a boulle to bake.
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Oct 30, 2017 16:41
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pile of brown posted:The love of bread machines in this thread completely baffles me because they make lovely bread and are exactly the kind of shortcut this forum attempts to educate people out of I was going to write an effortpost about how these forums used to be a glorious place when we were young and optimistic, but it's 2017 and the world has dimmed and now we just get drunk and eat taco bell in the dark.
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Oct 30, 2017 23:37
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Drink and Fight posted:I was going to write an effortpost about how these forums used to be a glorious place when we were young and optimistic, but it's 2017 and the world has dimmed and now we just get drunk and eat taco bell in the dark. Taco Bell in the dark only cuz I can't afford the electric bill after paying my student loans for the month 
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Oct 31, 2017 00:09
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I'm springing for something not on the dollar menu tonight folks! 
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Oct 31, 2017 02:19
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gravity has always eaten a gross amount of taco bell
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Oct 31, 2017 06:51
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and whats the deal with mommie dearest; hes not mommie, and hes not dearest?!?
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Oct 31, 2017 07:47
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Liquid Communism posted:Yeah, my usual home bread is fridge-fermented no-knead. The most working it gets is being shaped into a boulle to bake. What's everyone's preferred recipe for no knead bread please? I went on a cooking course and discovered the joy of doing a loaf in a Dutch oven, but their recipe had approximately a million kneading steps.
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Oct 31, 2017 09:52
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tarbrush posted:What's everyone's preferred recipe for no knead bread please? I went on a cooking course and discovered the joy of doing a loaf in a Dutch oven, but their recipe had approximately a million kneading steps. I've used this one a million times and there's literally zero kneading required. The only time you even touch the dough is to form it into a loaf right before baking. The only modification I've had to make to this recipe is some extra water since the hydration level it calls for is never enough to absorb all the flour in the first step, in my experience.
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Oct 31, 2017 13:47
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tarbrush posted:What's everyone's preferred recipe for no knead bread please? I went on a cooking course and discovered the joy of doing a loaf in a Dutch oven, but their recipe had approximately a million kneading steps. I wrote it up in the bread thread; I think it's the OP.
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Oct 31, 2017 15:12
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I picked up Flour Salt Water Yeast and the author advocates for autolyse plus super minimal folding bread rather than completely no knead and it's vastly improved the texture and rise I get from my loaves.
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Oct 31, 2017 16:16
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Folding it a few times while it's fermenting will absolutely improve the texture of your bread. Gluten is a matrix that likes to align in one direction (which is why you create tension on the loaf, so you can increase that internal pressure and get more oven spring) and if you fold it, you force it to develop new linkages in a new direction, strengthening the overall structure of the bread. It isn't 100% necessary, but it's a good idea.
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Oct 31, 2017 18:48
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LOL if you don't kneed your bread with a taffy puller.
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Oct 31, 2017 20:41
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Casu Marzu posted:I picked up Flour Salt Water Yeast and the author advocates for autolyse plus super minimal folding bread rather than completely no knead and it's vastly improved the texture and rise I get from my loaves.
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Nov 1, 2017 05:23
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My wife and I are working through Chopped Junior on Hulu and one of the ingredients in a basket last night was a Berkshire pork chop. The judges, Ted Allen, and the contestants were going on and on about how nice a cut it is and how it's got some great marbling, but I swear those pork chops had absolutely no fat in them, no marbling, aside from the fat cap. They looked more like center-cut pork chops than anything with marbling. What gives? Are people not looking at the same fuckin' pork chop I am??
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Nov 1, 2017 13:14
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The Midniter posted:My wife and I are working through Chopped Junior on Hulu and one of the ingredients in a basket last night was a Berkshire pork chop. The judges, Ted Allen, and the contestants were going on and on about how nice a cut it is and how it's got some great marbling, but I swear those pork chops had absolutely no fat in them, no marbling, aside from the fat cap. They looked more like center-cut pork chops than anything with marbling. What gives? Are people not looking at the same fuckin' pork chop I am?? big pork is desperately trying to erase their history of erasing fat from the lot hogs
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Nov 1, 2017 14:48
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