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This is a lesson I have yet to learn.  Then again this is the same person who ate extremely suspiciously smelling chicken thigh and was confused as to why it was slimy, so maybe I won't ever learn.
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Nov 21, 2017 01:06
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Looking forward to Turkey Day comedy posts. I managed my (early) Thanksgiving last weekend. Did not note when ordering a hippie free range bird it would be frozen. Picked it up Friday, 18lbs, with the plan to brine it. Some furious internet searching (this was my first brineing) said you can brine thawed. However, you are supposed to remove the guts bag. Ran water on it for a bit and chipped out the liver/kidneys/heart with a butter knife. Wasn't pretty. Turkey turned out awesome though, just no giblets for gravy.
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Nov 22, 2017 22:15
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Arkhamina posted:Looking forward to Turkey Day comedy posts. From a prior Turkey Day: actually an anti-cockup, since I saved the day, but I once got a kosher turkey from Trader Joes. Even with my husband's employee discount, it was an expensive bird, being fresh and kosher and *~organic~* , not a frozen saline-injected Butterball at 49 cents a pound or whatever. So you can imagine how pissed I was when I unwrap that fucker Wednesday night to air dry in the fridge and 75% of its skin was missing. Thankfully, I don't keep kosher, so my solution was to give it a skin graft... with bacon. Yep, made a kosher turkey with a lovely bacon lattice on top. Worked a charm, and was goyim as gently caress. edit: mods, pls change name to "goyim as gently caress"
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Nov 23, 2017 01:27
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Along the theme of last page, awhile back I found a recipe for sirachia ramen. Decided to make it for dinner while visiting my parents for the weekend. Ask mom "where is the veggie stock" and she brings me 2 cardboard containers of liquid. Not reading it I poured them into the soup mixture. Noticed they were a bit chunky and sampled the resulting mixture. Face meltingly salty. Turns out they were 2 tubs of condensed veggie soup, so I poured 36 servings of soup into what should be 4. Ended up freezing them and giving them to my girlfriend as work lunches as a "spicy tomato soup" after watering them down a bunch. Read packages.
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Nov 23, 2017 04:59
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Welp. I managed to split a dozen eggs' worth of lemon curd. I think I added my butter a little bit too early, then the temp got away from me. e: the best part is going to the no-man's-land of local grocery on thanksgiving day to buy a load of eggs and lemons.
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Nov 23, 2017 08:20
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lokipunk posted:Read packages. In it goes! Uh, that's not the colour I was expecting. *sniff* Oh. That's cinnamon. That came from a baggie from the bulk-food store and went into the empty, cleaned, but still wearing its labels spice jar, several months ago. I dumped in a generous amount of "Italian seasoning" and some actual cayenne powder (I can't find my dried ghost peppers, this is slightly worrisome) and stirred everything in, it turned out fine. Side note: the cayenne is in a pepper shaker, the kind you'd put on the table at supper, because it says "Pepper" on the side and I have a proper transparent peppercorn grinder for black pepper. Years ago, this caused some minor distress for my fiancee's sister. I might have a problem with labels. After supper I found a sharpie and defaced the chipotle label on that spice jar. 
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Nov 23, 2017 16:22
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JacquelineDempsey posted:From a prior Turkey Day: actually an anti-cockup, since I saved the day, but I once got a kosher turkey from Trader Joes. Even with my husband's employee discount, it was an expensive bird, being fresh and kosher and *~organic~* , not a frozen saline-injected Butterball at 49 cents a pound or whatever. So you can imagine how pissed I was when I unwrap that fucker Wednesday night to air dry in the fridge and 75% of its skin was missing. Frankly, that sounds better than any turkey I've ever had. In fact, gently caress the turkey entirely. I don't know why we eat those lovely, giant tasteless birds. Even the best turkey I've had, it's like, "hmm, it's not incredibly dry! Pass the gravy!" ExecuDork posted:Last night, making a basic pasta-and-tomato-sauce supper. The sauce at this point is a chopped onion and a couple of cut up sausages that have been frying for a few minutes, half a dozen sliced mushrooms, and a big can of diced tomatoes "with herbs and spices" (I think they drop in a trivial bit of oregeno-processing-facility-floor-scrapings). I reach into the spice cupboard and discover I apparently still have some chipotle chili powder. Huh, I thought I used it all ages ago. Make a tomato/meat sauce with cinnamon, raisins, cumin, oregano, and chopped green olives, with your choice of meat. God only knows why it works, because it sounds bizarre, but that poo poo is loving delicious.
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Nov 24, 2017 04:27
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PT6A posted:Frankly, that sounds better than any turkey I've ever had. 
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Nov 24, 2017 04:31
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Wait until you try one of those free range turkeys. TOTALLY different experience. Flavorful, dense, chewy meat. You'll never go back to one of those factory saline bags we call store turkeys any more if you have to option. It's a real paradigm shift.
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Nov 24, 2017 04:33
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I just have the brisket and it was amazing this year, as was the cranberry pie
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Nov 24, 2017 05:56
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Tiggum posted:Then you've never had one that was cooked well. Seriously. Brine it and smoke it and it tastes great.
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Nov 24, 2017 06:13
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We're doing Thanksgiving tomorrow because obviously you don't get it off in Spain, and it'll be my first time eating turkey since I was seven or eight. I am hoping I like it. E: GOD, I hope my dad is cooking it.
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Nov 24, 2017 09:11
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PT6A posted:Frankly, that sounds better than any turkey I've ever had. I'd agree but I've had freshly killed, like an hour ago fresh, wild turkey and holy poo poo it is completely different to the crappy store turkeys everyone buys. I've had it twice from the wild stock on the ranch I worked at and both times it completely blew me away. The first time my dad gifted a few of the semi-wild turkeys we'd penned to his friends and they sent over a giant breast as a thank you. It was spicy, moist and tender. I dream of that meat. The second time was grilled outside right after shooting and cleaning. Everyone go and shoot a real, dumbass wild turkey for Thanksgiving. It's like the best turkey you've ever eaten x 1000. You'll be doing them a favor. Turkeys are really, really stupid, they probably don't even notice they're dead.
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Nov 25, 2017 02:55
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I get real misty eyed over the personhood of pigs and ruminants even though I still eat them. But gently caress fowl. Shittiest branch of the animal kingdom, they're the perfect food because of it.
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Nov 25, 2017 04:24
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Willie Tomg posted:I get real misty eyed over the personhood of pigs and ruminants even though I still eat them.  Chickens are actually pretty intelligent
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Nov 25, 2017 04:42
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Yeah but they're dicks about it
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Nov 25, 2017 05:33
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empty sea posted:Everyone go and shoot a real, dumbass wild turkey for Thanksgiving. It's like the best turkey you've ever eaten x 1000. You'll be doing them a favor. Turkeys are really, really stupid, they probably don't even notice they're dead. We used to have some on our property when I was growing up, can confirm they are dumb as all gently caress. In the event of a thunderstorm, they'd stick their heads in the bushes and then make loud noises after every thunderclap.
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Nov 25, 2017 17:18
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Turkey was tasty enough. My mom hosed up the pie crust and it was harder than cement, but last time she made a pie, she forgot to put sugar in it, so...progress?
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Nov 25, 2017 23:42
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Well thanksgiving #2 started off by the oven dying so we have a countertop oven going and a grill which I am trying to balance to keep 350, let’s see if I can avoid posting a follow up with my dinner disaster.
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Nov 26, 2017 01:36
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Turkey was tasty enough. My mom hosed up the pie crust and it was harder than cement, but last time she made a pie, she forgot to put sugar in it, so...progress? To be fair, we only really started eating the crust sometime in the last 250 years. She made a History Food. 
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Nov 27, 2017 06:43
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I hosed up Thanksgiving by forgetting to salt some of the dishes.
Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 08:44 on Nov 27, 2017 |
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Nov 27, 2017 08:34
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Splizwarf posted:To be fair, we only really started eating the crust sometime in the last 250 years. She made a History Food. Why would ancient people waste valuable calories like that?
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Nov 27, 2017 10:33
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CrazySalamander posted:Why would ancient people waste valuable calories like that? Pastry was reused. So you didn't eat the outside, just the filling. I think eventually they gave the old pastry to the peasants...or maybe that was just trenchers? E: Medieval people, and before we answer that, we have to answer "Why the gently caress would you pluck a bird, roast it, and stick the feathers back on?" and the answer is because they were, in the terms of the time, weirdos with ergotism.
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Nov 27, 2017 13:22
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Another pan sauce that tastes absolutely awful. I think I’m just using wine instead of stock as well as burning the poo poo out of it. I tried deglazing with soy sauce and that was a disaster too.
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Dec 1, 2017 06:40
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Master deglazing with water, that's what I had to do before moving on to tastier fluids.
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Dec 1, 2017 09:23
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One thing I've noticed when watching other people make pan sauces is they get the pan way too hot. Keep it slightly lower, to where things start to crisp up and blacken but before they burn and smoke, then add your liquid. It shouldn't immediately splatter everywhere, you should have a nice simmering puddle. Scrape scrape scrape while you turn up the heat a bit.
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Dec 1, 2017 21:57
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Before I started making the dinner rolls for my in-laws several years ago, I started with a few test batches. While kneading my first batch I kept thinking to myself that something was wrong, at which point I see the egg on the counter. Oh well just knead the egg in now! Yeah, that doesn't work. They were tasty just relly dense. The next batch was nice fluffy but with small bits of potato throughout the roll.
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Dec 2, 2017 14:02
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idiotmeat posted:The next batch was nice fluffy but with small bits of potato throughout the roll. If you could get bits of hb egg, celery, peppers, mayo and mustard in there too....
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Dec 2, 2017 14:32
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Place holder post. Just started my first sous vide attempt. Chuck roast with just a thyme, garlic, salt rub, 132f, looking for about 24-30h cook time. Will sear in cast iron when "I feel" it's done. Hey should I have put this in a bag or something? (kidding, but I know I'll gently caress it up somehow)
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Dec 2, 2017 16:40
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My first experiment with my sous vide was medium rare steak that I didn’t know to sear. It was so gross.
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Dec 3, 2017 04:48
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[quote="“Rolo”" post="“478964747”"] My first experiment with my sous vide was medium rare steak that I didn’t know to sear. It was so gross. [/quote] There is a restaurant here that sous vides everything and they only sear if you request. Im sure this makes a ton of customers pissed.
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Dec 3, 2017 06:32
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Telsa Cola posted:There is a restaurant here that sous vides everything and they only sear if you request. Im sure this makes a ton of customers pissed. ... Why?
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Dec 3, 2017 13:52
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Telsa Cola posted:There is a restaurant here that sous vides everything and they only sear if you request. Im sure this makes a ton of customers pissed. Yeah my cockup was bad enough to be embarrassing, but only to me. I can’t imagine a restaurant serving a piece of meat like that and expecting not-anger.
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Dec 3, 2017 17:28
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Big Beef City posted:... Why? Because a sous-vide steak is grey as hell if you don’t seat it and looks unappetizing as gently caress.
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Dec 3, 2017 18:40
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30 Goddamned Dicks posted:Because a sous-vide steak is grey as hell if you don’t seat it and looks unappetizing as gently caress. Also, if you use a proper vacuum-sealer bag you'll still have an imprint of the diamond grid from the bag, which looks weird as hell. Plus, you know, the crust on a steak is kind of important to most people.
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Dec 3, 2017 19:15
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Big Beef City posted:... Why? [quote="“30 Goddamned Dicks”" post="“478977670”"] Because a sous-vide steak is grey as hell if you don’t seat it and looks unappetizing as gently caress. [/quote] [quote="“Arcsech”" post="“478978641”"] Also, if you use a proper vacuum-sealer bag you’ll still have an imprint of the diamond grid from the bag, which looks weird as hell. Plus, you know, the crust on a steak is kind of important to most people. [/quote] Basically this.
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Dec 3, 2017 19:25
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No, I meant "why the gently caress would they only saute on request that's dumb as hell why are they serving under prepared mush poo poo to idiots"
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Dec 3, 2017 22:19
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Big Beef City posted:No, I meant "why the gently caress would they only saute on request that's dumb as hell why are they serving under prepared mush poo poo to idiots" Because I think they are trying to be the flashy new thing in town but they honestly have been dropping the ball constantly.
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Dec 4, 2017 03:00
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I tried to make creamed spinach tonight. I've never had it before, but it sounded nice, so I figured I'd go for it. In my usual haphazard fashion, I didn't consult a recipe or measure, and I was also slightly chemically-enhancdd, so in addition to accidentally making a Liz Lemon-style cheese stew, I dumped in so much salt that it was inedible. I am beat.
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Dec 5, 2017 20:25
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I tried to make creamed spinach tonight. I've never had it before, but it sounded nice, so I figured I'd go for it. In my usual haphazard fashion, I didn't consult a recipe or measure, and I was also slightly chemically-enhancdd, so in addition to accidentally making a Liz Lemon-style cheese stew, I dumped in so much salt that it was inedible.
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Dec 6, 2017 01:37
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