Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Beet Wagon posted:

This encapsulates Star Citizen for me in a way I doubt the OP could ever understand or recognize. It's got everything:

The pointless joke run into the ground as the only bit of content

The huge, empty, ill-advised planet

The wonky physics, with the Big Benny's machine jittering all over the place

The hilariously overwrought mocap of the guy doing his dumb victory dance

The inability of commandos to affect change on anything (look at his feet in relation to the vending machine)

It's all just so perfect.

And somehow you missed that it�s a man in his underwear in space doing these things.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:13

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 08:42

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

Spiderdrake posted:

I don't know if they're paid shills or "vested interest cultists" but given CIG has no shame and neither do they I guess there's no difference?

And no. poo poo reads like machine made amazon fake reviews turned up to 11.

The person that writes that comment also makes $750 per hour working from home

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:16

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Tank Boy Ken posted:

How about Cancer is worse than Star Citizen?
Sad stuff ahead, skip if you hate cancer stories.
Which is basically just the truth. My dad died of a similar case of cancer. Just without having a relapse. It was just detected way to late. And the option was a high risk operation and chemo or living with palliative care. He choose the later and tried to prepare my Mom for the time without him.
As far as the progress of cancer, he got "lucky" he could live for almost 6 months with no heavy ill effects. Just the last 2 weeks were pretty bad. But at least he could stay at home until the end.

My condolences, friend.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:16

Zzr: Oct 6, 2016

Civet de lapin � la marinade au ch�teauneuf.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:17

MedicineHut: Feb 25, 2016

Blue On Blue posted:

I'm the fabricated art work instead of a real in game screen shot

I�m the poxy "latest info" instead of the more meaningful "sneak peek" or "preview showing".

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:19

Spiderdrake: May 12, 2001

Blue On Blue posted:

I'm the fabricated art work instead of a real in game screen shot

You know, on that note, does it drive anyone else a little batty when they show clips of Star Citizen on the various news shows discussing the lawsuit and they're all running fine, bug free, completely in opposition to the actual game experience?

I mean I know you don't want to put up stuttering pre-alpha video where the player character touches a door and dies, but like... That is the game. That's Star Citizen. it's not that clip of the guy looking down at the city world. That's not real.

It's like... Someone is discussing the legal issues of italian spiderman, but showing clips of spiderman homecoming. You're not getting a big game blockbuster. You're getting Italian Spiderman, maybe, in a couple years. If you're lucky. It feels so disingenuous, even though I'm not sure what they're supposed to do. Someone should do an actual Star Citizen gameplay demo reel.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:19

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

Friends I have a non SC related question

Can the standard PS4 handle PSVR or do you need the pro version.

Google isn't helping me

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:20

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

SomethingJones posted:

Friends I have a non SC related question

Can the standard PS4 handle PSVR or do you need the pro version.

Google isn't helping me

Seems ok when I played it. But the resolution is super low. Stuff like SuperHot is very fun and engaging. Things like Skyrim not so much. And the blurriness is very noticeable.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:22

Duckaerobics: Jul 22, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

MedicineHut posted:

I just did my first eggnog. For a non American such as moi I must say it was really tasty.

- Mix 4 egg yolks and some sugar to taste
- Add in half liter of milk and a quarter of double cream and mix
- Put in the stove at slow/mid fire until around 80C, or whenever putting a finger almost burns
- Mix in some grounded nutmeg and decent bourbon to taste (reserve a portion without bourbon for the little ones)
- Cool down to room temp, then fridge

- Whip egg whites and sugar to taste to almost meringue texture
- Mix low level meringue with eggnog stuff above

- sprinkle some more nutmeg on top and top up or not with more bourbon

Enjoy

I do hope recipe chat returns this holiday season, but for a true american egg nog experience you need to get the pre-made stuff from the grocery store and mix it 50-50 with the cheapest bourbon you can find.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:24

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

orcane posted:

Did anyone bet 6.66 million yet?

Apologies to Charlies Daniels:

Roberts went down to LA he was looking for some funds to steal
He was in a bind cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this fossil writing a blog and tweetin' a lot
And Roberts jumped upon an airplane desk and said "Boy, let me tell you what."

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a developer too
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you
Now you write a pretty good blog, boy, but give the Roberts his due
I'll bet this concept jpeg against your soul cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said, "My name's Derek, and it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret cause I'm the best Warlord there's ever been."

Derek, fire up your blog and play your trolls hard
Cause CIG's broke in LA and Roberts steals the tards
And if you win you get to say "I told you sooo"
But if you lose the goons get your soul

Roberts peeled up his scalp and he said, "I'll start this show."
And hundreds flew from his fingertips as he delayed the show
And he pulled the funds across his wife and it made an evil hiss
And a band of shills joined in and it sounded something like this:

[Demonic Full Burn piece]

When Roberts finished, Derek said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son
Play Star Citizen right there and let me finish on how it's done."

"Coutt's own the assets now time to get refunds!
Roberts in the house of decreasing funds;
Lesnick in the kitchen eating cookie dough
Roberts, does the hobo bite? No, backer, no

[Non-demonic Full Burn piece]

Roberts bowed his head because Skadden had him beat
And he laid that concept jpeg on the ground at Derek's feet
Derek said, "Roberts, just come on back if you ever wanna try again
Cause I've told you once--you son of a bitch--I'm the best Warlord there's ever been."
And he played:

"Coutt's own the assets now time to get refunds!
Roberts in the house of decreasing funds;
Lesnick in the kitchen eating cookie dough
Roberts, does the hobo bite? No, backer, no

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:24

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

SomethingJones posted:

Friends I have a non SC related question

Can the standard PS4 handle PSVR or do you need the pro version.

Google isn't helping me

I'd go with the Pro, but you can use it on a regular ol' PS4.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:24

Blue On Blue: Nov 14, 2012

Spiderdrake posted:

You know, on that note, does it drive anyone else a little batty when they show clips of Star Citizen on the various news shows discussing the lawsuit and they're all running fine, bug free, completely in opposition to the actual game experience?

I mean I know you don't want to put up stuttering pre-alpha video where the player character touches a door and dies, but like... That is the game. That's Star Citizen. it's not that clip of the guy looking down at the city world. That's not real.

It's like... Someone is discussing the legal issues of italian spiderman, but showing clips of spiderman homecoming. You're not getting a big game blockbuster. You're getting Italian Spiderman, maybe, in a couple years. If you're lucky. It feels so disingenuous, even though I'm not sure what they're supposed to do. Someone should do an actual Star Citizen gameplay demo reel.

Cig and their lead marketing vp are so inside their own rear end they probably see all this law suit nonsense as a great way to market the game , so why not send sizzlereel42.mpeg to everyone that will take it ?

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:24

The Rabbi T. White: Jul 17, 2008

Beet Wagon posted:

This encapsulates Star Citizen for me in a way I doubt the OP could ever understand or recognize. It's got everything:

The pointless joke run into the ground as the only bit of content

The huge, empty, ill-advised planet

The wonky physics, with the Big Benny's machine jittering all over the place

The hilariously overwrought mocap of the guy doing his dumb victory dance

The inability of commandos to affect change on anything (look at his feet in relation to the vending machine)

It's all just so perfect.

I see Derek finally defeated the vending machine.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:26

Solarin: Nov 15, 2007

Colostomy Bag posted:

Apologies to Charlies Daniels:

Roberts went down to LA he was looking for some funds to steal
He was in a bind cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this fossil writing a blog and tweetin' a lot
And Roberts jumped upon an airplane desk and said "Boy, let me tell you what."

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a developer too
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you
Now you write a pretty good blog, boy, but give the Roberts his due
I'll bet this concept jpeg against your soul cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said, "My name's Derek, and it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret cause I'm the best Warlord there's ever been."

Derek, fire up your blog and play your trolls hard
Cause CIG's broke in LA and Roberts steals the tards
And if you win you get to say "I told you sooo"
But if you lose the goons get your soul

Roberts peeled up his scalp and he said, "I'll start this show."
And hundreds flew from his fingertips as he delayed the show
And he pulled the funds across his wife and it made an evil hiss
And a band of shills joined in and it sounded something like this:

[Demonic Full Burn piece]

When Roberts finished, Derek said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son
Play Star Citizen right there and let me finish on how it's done."

"Coutt's own the assets now time to get refunds!
Roberts in the house of decreasing funds;
Lesnick in the kitchen eating cookie dough
Roberts, does the hobo bite? No, backer, no

[Non-demonic Full Burn piece]

Roberts bowed his head because Skadden had him beat
And he laid that concept jpeg on the ground at Derek's feet
Derek said, "Roberts, just come on back if you ever wanna try again
Cause I've told you once--you son of a bitch--I'm the best Warlord there's ever been."
And he played:

"Coutt's own the assets now time to get refunds!
Roberts in the house of decreasing funds;
Lesnick in the kitchen eating cookie dough
Roberts, does the hobo bite? No, backer, no

holy poo poo this is good work

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:28

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Spiderdrake posted:

You know, on that note, does it drive anyone else a little batty when they show clips of Star Citizen on the various news shows discussing the lawsuit and they're all running fine, bug free, completely in opposition to the actual game experience?

I mean I know you don't want to put up stuttering pre-alpha video where the player character touches a door and dies, but like... That is the game. That's Star Citizen. it's not that clip of the guy looking down at the city world. That's not real.

It's like... Someone is discussing the legal issues of italian spiderman, but showing clips of spiderman homecoming. You're not getting a big game blockbuster. You're getting Italian Spiderman, maybe, in a couple years. If you're lucky. It feels so disingenuous, even though I'm not sure what they're supposed to do. Someone should do an actual Star Citizen gameplay demo reel.

I'm with you.

The three things that get the most under my skin, in no particular order:

- The constant use of matte paintings and concept art everywhere Star Citizen is discussed, which have no bearing on the game, or the plans for the game. They look like those 60s/70s sci-fi paperback covers with the art having no relation to the plot.

- The use of out-of-context concept demo "gameplay" that does not exist in SC proper used in the background of the videos, as you stated.

- The regurgitation by the media and others of every claim CIG makes as a matter of fact - i.e. CIG says "We'll have mining and base building." and PC Gamer repeats "Star Citizen will have mining and base-building." rather than the more correct "CIG plans to include mining and base-building."

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:29

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

The Titanic posted:

Seems ok when I played it. But the resolution is super low. Stuff like SuperHot is very fun and engaging. Things like Skyrim not so much. And the blurriness is very noticeable.

Got it thank you

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:36

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

TheAgent posted:

I'd go with the Pro, but you can use it on a regular ol' PS4.

Cheers Agent

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:37

SoftNum: Mar 31, 2011

D_Smart posted:

Crytek has employed a legendary Wall Street law firm to pursue damages against the developers of perpetually-delayed space-sim Star Citizen.

I assume brietbart would be anti this lawsuit since you know it's holding a business responsible for anything ever.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:47

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

The Rabbi T. White posted:

I see Derek finally defeated the vending machine.

https://i.imgur.com/UOiUKOO.gifv

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:49

MedicineHut: Feb 25, 2016

Holy poo poo

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:52

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

Mirificus posted:

r/starcitizen: A new mechanic for 3.0 Credit: Star Citizen Speakeasy

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:56

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Mirificus posted:

r/starcitizen: A new mechanic for 3.0 Credit: Star Citizen Speakeasy

should not have read the comments

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:02

Virtual Captain: Feb 20, 2017; Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.

Colostomy Bag posted:

Derek, fire up your blog and play your trolls hard
Cause CIG's broke in LA and Roberts steals the tards
And if you win you get to say "I told you sooo"
But if you lose the goons get your soul

Roberts peeled up his scalp and he said, "I'll start this show."
And hundreds flew from his fingertips as he delayed the show
And he pulled the funds across his wife and it made an evil hiss
And a band of shills joined in and it sounded something like this:

[Demonic Full Burn piece]

When Roberts finished, Derek said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son
Play Star Citizen right there and let me finish on how it's done."

"Coutt's own the assets now time to get refunds!
Roberts in the house of decreasing funds;
Lesnick in the kitchen eating cookie dough
Roberts, does the hobo bite? No, backer, no

lol

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:03

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

Daztek posted:

https://i.imgur.com/UOiUKOO.gifv

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:07

Thronde: Aug 4, 2012; Fun Shoe

Colostomy Bag posted:

Apologies to Charlies Daniels:

Roberts went down to LA he was looking for some funds to steal
He was in a bind cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this fossil writing a blog and tweetin' a lot
And Roberts jumped upon an airplane desk and said "Boy, let me tell you what."

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a developer too
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you
Now you write a pretty good blog, boy, but give the Roberts his due
I'll bet this concept jpeg against your soul cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said, "My name's Derek, and it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret cause I'm the best Warlord there's ever been."

Derek, fire up your blog and play your trolls hard
Cause CIG's broke in LA and Roberts steals the tards
And if you win you get to say "I told you sooo"
But if you lose the goons get your soul

Roberts peeled up his scalp and he said, "I'll start this show."
And hundreds flew from his fingertips as he delayed the show
And he pulled the funds across his wife and it made an evil hiss
And a band of shills joined in and it sounded something like this:

[Demonic Full Burn piece]

When Roberts finished, Derek said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son
Play Star Citizen right there and let me finish on how it's done."

"Coutt's own the assets now time to get refunds!
Roberts in the house of decreasing funds;
Lesnick in the kitchen eating cookie dough
Roberts, does the hobo bite? No, backer, no

[Non-demonic Full Burn piece]

Roberts bowed his head because Skadden had him beat
And he laid that concept jpeg on the ground at Derek's feet
Derek said, "Roberts, just come on back if you ever wanna try again
Cause I've told you once--you son of a bitch--I'm the best Warlord there's ever been."
And he played:

"Coutt's own the assets now time to get refunds!
Roberts in the house of decreasing funds;
Lesnick in the kitchen eating cookie dough
Roberts, does the hobo bite? No, backer, no

So so good.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:14

Sarsapariller: Aug 14, 2015; Occasional vampire queen

Uh oh!

quote:

Looks like someone at CIG maybe broke Spectrum? Haven't been any new posts there for the past hour and trying to post in any forums or live chat keeps giving "permission denied" error messages... Can't even send a PM to any of the CIG staff on there either, cause even that says "permission denied"...

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:17

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/NemoRazii/status/943219488958439424

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:17

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

So you won't be able to do anything with your ships except trade them for drugs and illegal porn?

e: thanks iospace

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:19

The Rabbi T. White: Jul 17, 2008

Daztek posted:

https://i.imgur.com/UOiUKOO.gifv

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:19

Sarsapariller: Aug 14, 2015; Occasional vampire queen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK2CXvnZRiE&t=47s

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:20

Nebiros: Apr 25, 2013; The scarf is nice.

Sarsapariller posted:

Uh oh!

"We uh, accidentally pipelined the Spectrum with a refactor. It will be ready in two weeks."

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:20

MedicineHut: Feb 25, 2016

Sarsapariller posted:

Uh oh!

Can see posts from a few seconds ago, doesnt seem to be any issues.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:21

Kilmers Elbow: Jun 15, 2012

Mirificus posted:

r/starcitizen: A new mechanic for 3.0 Credit: Star Citizen Speakeasy

joke's on them that's derek's arse

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:21

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

Daztek posted:

https://i.imgur.com/UOiUKOO.gifv

Please replace the body with dancey cat and it will be perfect.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:21

Blue On Blue: Nov 14, 2012

Sarsapariller posted:

Uh oh!

Just like that time when the support ticket queue was unceremoniously purged to ring in the new year

Oops Ben tripped over the plug for the spectrum server guess all that incriminating evidence is gone sorry !!

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:21

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

Daztek posted:

https://i.imgur.com/UOiUKOO.gifv

Yes

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:23

Sarsapariller: Aug 14, 2015; Occasional vampire queen

MedicineHut posted:

Can see posts from a few seconds ago, doesnt seem to be any issues.

I have never actually been on the spectrum, I just saw 3 consecutive posts about it on the sub. To me, outages like that are as inexplicable and funny as the in-game gitches, even if they're short lived.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:23

Sarsapariller: Aug 14, 2015; Occasional vampire queen

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/7kqa40/how_do_you_get_this_game_playable/?st=jbe50eve&sh=eed7ebeb

quote:

How Do You Get This Game Playable?
I�ve got an i5-6500 processor, 16 GB DDR4 3200 RAM, and an eVGA 1080 FTW video card. The game is utterly unplayable, 2 - 14 FPS. I know some people are able to play the game, why doesn�t it work on my system?

I don�t run a ton of background applications, and have no trouble running any other game on high settings. What am I missing?

quote:

You wait.

quote:

You wait a couple years. Or you luck out and get on a fresh server before other people get on it, which you don't have any control over. Or you hack it and play it offline, which is against the terms of service and isn't really "playable" since it's supposed to be a mmo game. Or you "play" it, by which I mean you don't really expect it to be playable but you log on anyway and suffer the low framerate having faith that at some point it will be actually playable. Or you wait a couple years.

quote:

Man you have a better system than i do yet we are getting the same frames lol its literally unplayable but apparently im considered to be whining lol

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:26

Abuminable: Mar 30, 2017; Now, aside from the Abuminable, business goes on as usual.

D_Smart posted:

Crytek has employed a legendary Wall Street law firm to pursue damages against the developers of perpetually-delayed space-sim Star Citizen.

Derek linked to Breitbart?? Pardon me while I glue my jaw back on.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:28

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 08:42

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

Dementropy fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Dec 19, 2017

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:30

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