Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

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Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 18:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 03:16

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Splicer posted:

Thomas the blind bisexual goose to be buried next to his partner Henry the swan

Amazing. There was a "community celebration of Thomas's life," and then he was buried next to his life-long mate. When I die (soon - fingers crossed), I will die alone, and no one will notice. The queer goose lived his life better than I have lived mine.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 18:44

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

That's the gooniest post, but in a good way.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 19:08

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

https://twitter.com/Gizmodo/status/961673905973989377

# ? Feb 8, 2018 21:30

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 8, 2018 22:11

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

https://twitter.com/JonCampbellGAN/status/961794184842743808

# ? Feb 9, 2018 03:51

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

This Student Failed Her Assignment Because Her Professor Said "Australia Isn't A Country"

# ? Feb 9, 2018 04:58

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Splicer posted:

While comforting in the long term, short and mid term our already hosed water system is going to lose a lot of biodiversity.

There's a bunch of species of whiptail lizards in Southwest US that all reproduce parthenogenetically. There's also a bunch of whiptails and other lizards that don't. Studies in the region have shown that when there's a natural disaster like a fire or something the parthenogenetic species get a leg-up on re-colonizing the area, but the other species follow behind and it all kind of evens out in the end. Being able to self-reproduce doesn't necessarily mean the crayfish are going to out-compete and replace everything native, especially when they're a near-bottom of the food chain species. Invasive species always suck and mess things up, but in my opinion all the news sites are just being sensationalist about this being some major ecological disaster. The biggest threat is to other crayfish species that can get out-competed in their specific niche, for just about every other species it'll probably be life as normal, just with a different swamp bug to eat/be eaten by.

Anyway here's the Queen of England with a very large man.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5171891/Queen-cheerd-adoring-crowds-leaving-Goring.html

# ? Feb 9, 2018 06:35

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.

That man does not look real.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 07:06

Veni Vidi Ameche!: Nov 2, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Samuringa posted:

That man does not look real.

Those buttons are heroic, and their state implies that that man is still growing.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 07:14

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

That man looks presidential.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 07:16

Trauma Dog 3000: Aug 30, 2017; by SA Support Robot

Tiggum posted:

This Student Failed Her Assignment Because Her Professor Said "Australia Isn't A Country"

A valuable degree to be sure

# ? Feb 9, 2018 08:27

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Knormal posted:

Anyway here's the Queen of England with a very large man.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5171891/Queen-cheerd-adoring-crowds-leaving-Goring.html

bloody geezer's chuffed to bits, innit

# ? Feb 9, 2018 08:51

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Knormal posted:

Anyway here's the Queen of England with a very large man.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5171891/Queen-cheerd-adoring-crowds-leaving-Goring.html

In awe at the size of this lad. Absolute unit.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 09:42

NoNotTheMindProbe: Aug 9, 2010; pony porn was here

He puts the great in Great Britain.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 09:43

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Tiggum posted:

This Student Failed Her Assignment Because Her Professor Said "Australia Isn't A Country"

quote:

When asked why she thought her professor might have been confused, Arnold said her older age might have been a factor.
"When did Australia become a country? Maybe she thinks it�s still part of England," she said.

After being told by BuzzFeed News that happened some 117 years ago, Arnold said, �Oh, she�s not that old, so there�s no excuse.�

# ? Feb 9, 2018 09:45

Trauma Dog 3000: Aug 30, 2017; by SA Support Robot

Knormal posted:

There's a bunch of species of whiptail lizards in Southwest US that all reproduce parthenogenetically. There's also a bunch of whiptails and other lizards that don't. Studies in the region have shown that when there's a natural disaster like a fire or something the parthenogenetic species get a leg-up on re-colonizing the area, but the other species follow behind and it all kind of evens out in the end. Being able to self-reproduce doesn't necessarily mean the crayfish are going to out-compete and replace everything native, especially when they're a near-bottom of the food chain species. Invasive species always suck and mess things up, but in my opinion all the news sites are just being sensationalist about this being some major ecological disaster. The biggest threat is to other crayfish species that can get out-competed in their specific niche, for just about every other species it'll probably be life as normal, just with a different swamp bug to eat/be eaten by.

Anyway here's the Queen of England with a very large man.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5171891/Queen-cheerd-adoring-crowds-leaving-Goring.html

Of course you don't understand. You're just a copy she made of the real Mr. B.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 09:50

Afriscipio: Jun 3, 2013

NoNotTheMindProbe posted:

He puts the great in Great Britain.

I think he ate Britain.

Apparently, he's the managing director of a hotel chain. Little known fact: the way you become managing director is to absorb the previous managing director into your being.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 11:48

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Afriscipio posted:

Apparently, he's the managing director of a hotel chain. Little known fact: the way you become managing director is to absorb the previous managing director into your being.

It's a good job, but the downside is that when you get big enough they hollow you out and use you as a hotel.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 12:27

Former DILF: Jul 13, 2017

Wheat Loaf posted:

It's a good job, but the downside is that when you get big enough they hollow you out and use you as a hotel.

Nature is beautiful

# ? Feb 9, 2018 14:25

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

https://twitter.com/RoxanneLaWin/status/959050068094603264

What's his forums account?

# ? Feb 9, 2018 14:37

Some Pinko Commie: Jun 9, 2009; CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

Not sure if this goes here or the Schaden thread, but going to share in both.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/miami-dade/article198971069.html

# ? Feb 9, 2018 15:26

Clam Chowdown: May 8, 2006; That's an unacceptable answer, Donny!

Knormal posted:

Anyway here's the Queen of England with a very large man.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5171891/Queen-cheerd-adoring-crowds-leaving-Goring.html

That is clearly five children bundled together under that suit posing as an adult. How are you all falling for this?

# ? Feb 9, 2018 15:32

AMISH FRIED PIES: Mar 6, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

turns out the moon IS made of ribs, and he DID eat it

# ? Feb 9, 2018 15:49

Barry Bluejeans: Feb 2, 2017; ATTENTHUN THITIZENTH

Knormal posted:

Hey, looks like Adult Cool is on his way up in the world.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 15:54

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; I'M FEELING JIMMY

Barry Bluejeans posted:

Hey, looks like Adult Cool is on his way up in the world.

I confused Adult Cool and Todd Coolbody for a moment, but either one works, really.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 16:02

Evilreaver: Feb 26, 2007; GEORGE IS GETTIN' AUGMENTED!; Dinosaur Gum

Platystemon posted:

There is a reason that sexual reproduction has evolved independently on countless occasions and is observed in the overwhelming majority of multicellular species.

Eventually some pathogen is going to come along and destroy the marbled crayfish.

They breed quickly, down there in the dark. But perhaps we can slay them even faster.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 17:32

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Evilreaver posted:

They breed quickly, down there in the dark. But perhaps we can slay them even faster.

Has anyone tried fire and/or nuking from orbit?

# ? Feb 9, 2018 17:58

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Krankenstyle posted:

Has anyone tried fire and/or nuking from orbit?

Mainly I play tunes at them and catch rabies.

# ? Feb 9, 2018 18:10

trapped mouse: May 25, 2008; by Azathoth

# ? Feb 9, 2018 23:01

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 9, 2018 23:06

Samuringa: Mar 27, 2017; Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.