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Spam Musubi
Jan 17, 2018

Cheap, Affordable, and Tasty!
Wrap me in rice like you would with your mother.

hoobajoo posted:

Yeah, first-time jitters are not exactly uncommon and the question was pretty reasonable. Don't be an rear end in a top hat.

AutisticAwl, your best bet is to rent a hotel room, it'll make it feel more special and you'll have maximum privacy.

Yeah, I’ll be doing that route.

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Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


You could always call in a ringer to help out.

PM me reasonable rates, discreet.




Don’t do this.

Defenistrator
Mar 27, 2007
Ask me about my burritos
Stupid question: if you are taking birth control and take plan B around the 71 hour mark, how safe are you from pregnancy? A pill maybe have been missed by a day in the first week but not sure, but the rest of the month was fairly consistent. Plan B was used the day before the placebo pills started.

Mocking Bird
Aug 17, 2011
Probably extremely not pregnant given the part of the cycle (days before a period are most likely infertile, with the caveat that withdrawal bleeding is not an authentic period), there was only one missed pill, and the speed you took a backup birth control method. Feel free to test in a few weeks if you’re paranoid.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Defenistrator posted:

Stupid question: if you are taking birth control and take plan B around the 71 hour mark, how safe are you from pregnancy? A pill maybe have been missed by a day in the first week but not sure, but the rest of the month was fairly consistent. Plan B was used the day before the placebo pills started.

So, any given act of intercourse between two fertile people has a 1 in 8 chance of resulting in pregnancy. Missing one pill in a month likely falls under "typical use" of oral birth control, which is estimated at 91% effectiveness. Plan B within 72 hours is 89% effective. You'll likely be fine.

Test no sooner than 14 days after the risk if you want confirmation.

Defenistrator
Mar 27, 2007
Ask me about my burritos

AlbieQuirky posted:

So, any given act of intercourse between two fertile people has a 1 in 8 chance of resulting in pregnancy. Missing one pill in a month likely falls under "typical use" of oral birth control, which is estimated at 91% effectiveness. Plan B within 72 hours is 89% effective. You'll likely be fine.

Test no sooner than 14 days after the risk if you want confirmation.

Thanks for the info, will test in a two weeks time!

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

Has anyone tried the "Kama Sutra"?

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Yeah and I learned one thing, I'm too fat for that ride.

Faerunner
Dec 31, 2007
Most of the positions in the Kama Sutra require some base level of gymnastics ability and physical fitness that I just do not have.

Supposedly* there are a few that are good for just about everybody, so if you haven't found the perfect position with your current partner it might be worth exploring. You'll also get a great laugh out of trying things. Be prepared for awkwardness and feet behind heads and breaking down into giggles.

*based on the last time I saw the positions, which was 10 years ago at least.

hoobajoo
Jun 2, 2004

spb posted:

Has anyone tried the "Kama Sutra"?

Not the Kama Sutra specifically, but I've tried some of the more unorthodox positions (not missionary, cowgirl, or doggystyle), and they all landed somewhere between a fun change of pace and actively uncomfortable.

PRADA SLUT
Mar 14, 2006

Inexperienced,
heartless,
but even so
The Kama Sutra talks more about how to cultivate lust and desire during dates and other activities, and all the pre-sex buildup just as much. The positions were influenced by yogic practice as a weary to create oneness with your partner, not so much for some strictly orgasmic reason.

It seems everyone in the west just assumes its some picture book with random wacky sex positions.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

PRADA SLUT posted:

The Kama Sutra talks more about how to cultivate lust and desire during dates and other activities, and all the pre-sex buildup just as much. The positions were influenced by yogic practice as a weary to create oneness with your partner, not so much for some strictly orgasmic reason.

It seems everyone in the west just assumes its some picture book with random wacky sex positions.

I always kind of imagined the Kama Sutra was secretly a handbook on internal female chiropracty.

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
If you are going to have sex for the first time, at the end of the day, and it's planned, have a shower before you guys do it

Gounads
Mar 13, 2013

Where am I?
How did I get here?

bowmore posted:

If you are going to have sex for the first time, at the end of the day, and it's planned, have a shower before you guys do it

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

Christ just skip the sex and take a shower you filthy animals!

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008




Have sex in the shower; two birds with one stone!

...Alright not really cause shower sex is really not that great.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Johnny Truant posted:

Have sex in the shower; two birds with one stone!

...Alright not really cause shower sex is really not that great.

Imagine two virgins on prom night trying to figure out shower sex

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


purple death ray posted:

Imagine two virgins on prom night trying to figure out shower sex

Both found unconscious on the floor from head wounds the next morning.

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008




purple death ray posted:

Imagine two virgins on prom night trying to figure out shower sex

The sequel to The 40 Year Old Virgin?

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
Yeah. Shower before you do the sex.

Origami Dali
Jan 7, 2005

Get ready to fuck!
You fucker's fucker!
You fucker!
Shower sex is fun until you nearly pass out from heat exhaustion

betamax hipster
Aug 13, 2016

Origami Dali posted:

Shower sex is fun until you nearly pass out from heat exhaustion

Cold shower sex, duh.

Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority
Be a generally clean person so that you can have sex whenever.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Shine posted:

Be a generally clean person so that you can have sex whenever.

Don't kinkshame.

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Shine posted:

Be a generally clean person so that you can have sex whenever.
they are teens and they always stink

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




Faerunner posted:

Most of the positions in the Kama Sutra require some base level of gymnastics ability and physical fitness that I just do not have.

Supposedly* there are a few that are good for just about everybody, so if you haven't found the perfect position with your current partner it might be worth exploring. You'll also get a great laugh out of trying things. Be prepared for awkwardness and feet behind heads and breaking down into giggles.

*based on the last time I saw the positions, which was 10 years ago at least.

My favorite position from the Kama Sutra was both partners lying on their backs, joined at the junk. That works surprisingly well for low-intensity erotic sex, not so much for intense pounding.

Fair warning, do NOT try this position if you are using condoms. I mean it, you WILL end up with one on the wall behind the person (who used to be) wearing it. Fortunately this proved hilarious to both of us.

Faerunner
Dec 31, 2007
It's certainly hilarious to me!

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

I can't even imagine the geometry which allows that to happen. I have a hard enough time getting the johnny off afterwards, let alone during.

Faerunner
Dec 31, 2007
I drew you a lovely mspaint of it, does this help?

sebzilla
Mar 17, 2009

Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.


You both need better fitting prophylactics imo

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Mods please rename me jimmy hat trebuchet

PRADA SLUT
Mar 14, 2006

Inexperienced,
heartless,
but even so

Faerunner posted:

I drew you a lovely mspaint of it, does this help?



in a bedroom many years ago

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Faerunner posted:

I drew you a lovely mspaint of it, does this help?



That does help!

Also good god that looks uncomfortable and awkward.

Hyperlynx
Sep 13, 2015

Seems super duper unconformable to bend your dick down like that

BirdOfPlay
Feb 19, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Hyperlynx posted:

Seems super duper unconformable to bend your dick down like that

Unless you're the ~20% of the dicked population that bends down. :science:

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

sebzilla posted:

You both need better fitting prophylactics imo

Yeah, the only way I can see that happening is if you're lacking in girth so the condom is loose or in length so it doesn't have far to roll up. Maybe a properly fitted condom would come off if there's no lubrication going on in there so the condom is sticking to the vaginal walls and peeling up on withdrawal, but that's a whole other level of uncomfortable. I'll be generous, and assume that if this isn't just stdh.txt then Faerunner is buying Magnums to show off when he really doesn't need them.

Hyperlynx
Sep 13, 2015

BirdOfPlay posted:

Unless you're the ~20% of the dicked population that bends down. :science:

Huh.

Does that mean it's super duper uncomfortable to gently caress in any other position, then?

stuxracer
May 4, 2006

Sort of on topic with the slingshot rubber - MyOne custom condoms are amazing. They sent a sample pack of a couple extra sizes in case measurements were off. Good thing to because the one I thought was too snug at the base. I’m guessing other places do these but I was so tired of too tight/loose condoms based on the like 5 sizes available from the household brands.

Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority
Happiness is a vasectomy and a wife.

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BirdOfPlay
Feb 19, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER

Hyperlynx posted:

Huh.

Does that mean it's super duper uncomfortable to gently caress in any other position, then?

I don't think so. The angle of the non-dangle has to do with a ligament that connects the boner to the pubic bone. Since ligaments provide tension but no compression force, I think it stands to reason that a dick that points down can be bent up should the need arise. Consider your own dick and how easy it is to point more up than to bend it down. QED

Also, I always gently caress up the distribution on downward facing dongs. About 25% are angled below the horizon, but only ~5% are 30 degrees or more below the horizon.

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