Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Pixelate: Jan 6, 2018; "You win by having fun"

MilesK posted:

Just for giggles, I'll share a bit of my humor.

When I was a nursing student, I, and another student got to take a patient we were caring for down to the cath lab so he could have a cardiac catheter inserted. Our instructor told us we could watch from the observation room.

The procedure started smoothly enough, experienced team, but in a total of 10 seconds, he started blowing blood out of his mouth and nose, got a huge erection, then died.

My classmate was in shock, and asked how did that happen, and I replied "He got a peek down the scrub nurses' shirt.

Have you considered writing for the Stimpire?

e: phoning in my taxxe

The barreleye (Macropinna microstoma) has extremely light-sensitive eyes that can rotate within a transparent, fluid-filled shield on its head. The fish�s tubular eyes are capped by bright green lenses. The eyes point upward (as shown here) when the fish is looking for food overhead. They point forward when the fish is feeding. The two spots above the fish�s mouth are are olfactory organs called nares, which are analogous to human nostrils.

Pixelate fucked around with this message at 22:52 on May 13, 2018

# ? May 13, 2018 22:31

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# ? May 25, 2024 04:57

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

MilesK posted:

Just for giggles, I'll share a bit of my humor.

When I was a nursing student, I, and another student got to take a patient we were caring for down to the cath lab so he could have a cardiac catheter inserted. Our instructor told us we could watch from the observation room.

The procedure started smoothly enough, experienced team, but in a total of 10 seconds, he started blowing blood out of his mouth and nose, got a huge erection, then died.

My classmate was in shock, and asked how did that happen, and I replied "He got a peek down the scrub nurses' shirt.

Jesus Christ dude

# ? May 13, 2018 22:32

Quavers: Feb 26, 2016; You clearly don't understand game development

MilesK posted:

Just for giggles, I'll share a bit of my humor.

When I was a nursing student, I, and another student got to take a patient we were caring for down to the cath lab so he could have a cardiac catheter inserted. Our instructor told us we could watch from the observation room.

The procedure started smoothly enough, experienced team, but in a total of 10 seconds, he started blowing blood out of his mouth and nose, got a huge erection, then died.

My classmate was in shock, and asked how did that happen, and I replied "He got a peek down the scrub nurses' shirt.

Genius pupper master

# ? May 13, 2018 22:37

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

this gay comedy forum lives once more

# ? May 13, 2018 22:39

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

MilesK made me laugh after sitting in a traffic jam for 3 hours. Thank you

# ? May 13, 2018 22:41

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

alf_pogs posted:

this gay comedy forum lives once more

# ? May 13, 2018 22:55

Thoatse: Feb 29, 2016; Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Pixelate posted:

# ? May 13, 2018 23:06

Deathsquid: Apr 26, 2017

Beexoffel posted:

This is the UNabridged over two hours of it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DCbvu-uF4o&t=3s
0:48:19 jump in to disappearing planet, crash a little later.
1:38:34 buggy approaching The Ramp.

Thanks!

...Oh god, that's 2 hours out of my life again, I gotta rewatch this trainwreck again.

# ? May 13, 2018 23:10

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Deathsquid posted:

Thanks!

...Oh god, that's 2 hours out of my life again, I gotta rewatch this trainwreck again.

Well you can skip the first hour and fifty eight minutes. Get to the good stuff.

# ? May 13, 2018 23:15

Viscous Soda: Apr 24, 2004

Deathsquid posted:

Thanks!

...Oh god, that's 2 hours out of my life again, I gotta rewatch this trainwreck again.

There was a post that had timestamps for the various gently caress-ups. So maybe you could find it if you looked back in the thread around CitCon you might find it.

# ? May 13, 2018 23:17

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

# ? May 13, 2018 23:20

Axegrinder: Jul 26, 2004; Sometimes sarcasm can help us think more clearly.

To me, this is the most important thread on the forums.

- It inspired and guided me to get a refund, saving me $260.

- The posting quality is amazing - I'm in awe - and the entertainment is never-ending.

- I used to worship Chris Roberts, back in the Wing Commander 3 days; now my eyes are open, and the awakening has been painful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: thank you, thread, for helping me to grow as a person.

To business: as part of the Pillars of Eternity 2 fig-starter, I pledged for three extra Steam keys, to celebrate the purchase of my new apartment. Pillars Of Eternity is like a modern version of Baldur's Gate, but more in-depth and grimdark. It's excellent, easily the best game I've ever backed, and the sequel is just out.

I now have three Steam keys for Pillars of Eternity 2 Fig Edition to award to whoever requests them first. Kindly give me a way to contact you. One lucky responder will also get a season pass for the game.

# ? May 13, 2018 23:21

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

I see Keramz is slowly making his way back to friendly territory after his trip "behind enemy lines" lol.

Gonna go ahead and say I called it.

# ? May 13, 2018 23:31

Nicholas: Mar 7, 2001; Were those not fine days, when we drank of clear honey, and spoke in calm tones of our love for the stuff?

i have a fever and cant really make sense of walls of text. can someone sum up the reddit / astropub drama

# ? May 13, 2018 23:33

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

Nicholas posted:

i have a fever and cant really make sense of walls of text. can someone sum up the reddit / astropub drama

slighty chub dude on grommr decides he's gonna lose weight

enjoy that rabbit hole

# ? May 13, 2018 23:39

Mu77ley: Oct 14, 2016

Nicholas posted:

i have a fever and cant really make sense of walls of text. can someone sum up the reddit / astropub drama

They're all idiots.

# ? May 13, 2018 23:40

Frank_Leroux: Mar 24, 2018

Nicholas posted:

i have a fever and cant really make sense of walls of text. can someone sum up the reddit / astropub drama

CIG is doing a bunch of financially shady crap so that they can get all of the money. This involves a thing called 'LTI', which is kinda mysterious. But all you really need to know is that they're trying to get new cash infusions rather than having their various backers shuffle store credit around. This tactic is rubbing many of the formerly faithful whales the wrong way.

Oh, and Star Citizen is bad.

Good enough?

# ? May 13, 2018 23:42

ArfJason: Sep 5, 2011

hello, are you guys still hosed up retarded weirdos

# ? May 13, 2018 23:43

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Axegrinder posted:

To me, this is the most important thread on the forums.

- It inspired and guided me to get a refund, saving me $260.

- The posting quality is amazing - I'm in awe - and the entertainment is never-ending.

- I used to worship Chris Roberts, back in the Wing Commander 3 days; now my eyes are open, and the awakening has been painful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: thank you, thread, for helping me to grow as a person.

To business: as part of the Pillars of Eternity 2 fig-starter, I pledged for three extra Steam keys, to celebrate the purchase of my new apartment. Pillars Of Eternity is like a modern version of Baldur's Gate, but more in-depth and grimdark. It's excellent, easily the best game I've ever backed, and the sequel is just out.

I now have three Steam keys for Pillars of Eternity 2 Fig Edition to award to whoever requests them first. Kindly give me a way to contact you. One lucky responder will also get a season pass for the game.

I finished it earlier today, it's a great game. Already started a second run :toot:

# ? May 13, 2018 23:44

ArfJason: Sep 5, 2011

MilesK posted:

Just for giggles, I'll share a bit of my humor.

When I was a nursing student, I, and another student got to take a patient we were caring for down to the cath lab so he could have a cardiac catheter inserted. Our instructor told us we could watch from the observation room.

The procedure started smoothly enough, experienced team, but in a total of 10 seconds, he started blowing blood out of his mouth and nose, got a huge erection, then died.

My classmate was in shock, and asked how did that happen, and I replied "He got a peek down the scrub nurses' shirt.

Axegrinder posted:

To me, this is the most important thread on the forums.

- It inspired and guided me to get a refund, saving me $260.

- The posting quality is amazing - I'm in awe - and the entertainment is never-ending.

- I used to worship Chris Roberts, back in the Wing Commander 3 days; now my eyes are open, and the awakening has been painful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: thank you, thread, for helping me to grow as a person.

To business: as part of the Pillars of Eternity 2 fig-starter, I pledged for three extra Steam keys, to celebrate the purchase of my new apartment. Pillars Of Eternity is like a modern version of Baldur's Gate, but more in-depth and grimdark. It's excellent, easily the best game I've ever backed, and the sequel is just out.

I now have three Steam keys for Pillars of Eternity 2 Fig Edition to award to whoever requests them first. Kindly give me a way to contact you. One lucky responder will also get a season pass for the game.

Dementropy posted:

ah, nevermind

# ? May 13, 2018 23:44

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

MilesK posted:

Just for giggles, I'll share a bit of my humor.

When I was a nursing student, I, and another student got to take a patient we were caring for down to the cath lab so he could have a cardiac catheter inserted. Our instructor told us we could watch from the observation room.

The procedure started smoothly enough, experienced team, but in a total of 10 seconds, he started blowing blood out of his mouth and nose, got a huge erection, then died.

My classmate was in shock, and asked how did that happen, and I replied "He got a peek down the scrub nurses' shirt.

Boy, where do I start?

# ? May 13, 2018 23:48

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

ArfJason posted:

hello, are you guys still hosed up retarded weirdos

how much are you in for commando

# ? May 13, 2018 23:48

Thoatse: Feb 29, 2016; Lol said the scorpion, lmao

ArfJason posted:

hello, are you guys still hosed up retarded weirdos

p much yeah

# ? May 13, 2018 23:50

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

get a rfndjason

# ? May 13, 2018 23:52

Anticheese: Feb 13, 2008; $60,000,000 sexbot

Axegrinder posted:

To me, this is the most important thread on the forums.

- It inspired and guided me to get a refund, saving me $260.

- The posting quality is amazing - I'm in awe - and the entertainment is never-ending.

- I used to worship Chris Roberts, back in the Wing Commander 3 days; now my eyes are open, and the awakening has been painful.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: thank you, thread, for helping me to grow as a person.

To business: as part of the Pillars of Eternity 2 fig-starter, I pledged for three extra Steam keys, to celebrate the purchase of my new apartment. Pillars Of Eternity is like a modern version of Baldur's Gate, but more in-depth and grimdark. It's excellent, easily the best game I've ever backed, and the sequel is just out.

I now have three Steam keys for Pillars of Eternity 2 Fig Edition to award to whoever requests them first. Kindly give me a way to contact you. One lucky responder will also get a season pass for the game.

I would be very interested in a key, please.

Can you please contact me by PM? I can't afford new games at the moment and I'm very grateful you're doing this! :shobon:

# ? May 13, 2018 23:53

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

ArfJason posted:

hello, are you guys still hosed up retarded weirdos

Oh, hey man, what's up?

# ? May 13, 2018 23:53

Axegrinder: Jul 26, 2004; Sometimes sarcasm can help us think more clearly.

The PoE2 keys have been claimed.

Congratulations to Taintrunner, Golli, and Anticheese. You will be contacted by PM shortly.

Enjoy!

Axegrinder fucked around with this message at 00:01 on May 14, 2018

# ? May 13, 2018 23:56

Taintrunner: Apr 10, 2017; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Hooray! I�m proud to be a Star Miscreant this day

# ? May 14, 2018 00:01

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

deadfire real good

# ? May 14, 2018 00:03

Bumbler: Dec 17, 2005

Deathsquid posted:

Does the abridged highlight reel of 2017 Gamescon fiasco stream still exist? There's a few people I want to show it to... Especially the buggy clipping through the ramp and exploding, but the whole thing in general is gold.

Here's the abridged version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azZ0WqhM_ps

# ? May 14, 2018 00:06

ZekeNY: Jun 13, 2013; Probably AFK

MilesK posted:

Just for giggles, I'll share a bit of my humor.

When I was a nursing student, I, and another student got to take a patient we were caring for down to the cath lab so he could have a cardiac catheter inserted. Our instructor told us we could watch from the observation room.

The procedure started smoothly enough, experienced team, but in a total of 10 seconds, he started blowing blood out of his mouth and nose, got a huge erection, then died.

My classmate was in shock, and asked how did that happen, and I replied "He got a peek down the scrub nurses' shirt.

This needs to be shared with the health care stories thread.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3837778

# ? May 14, 2018 00:30

tooterfish: Jul 13, 2013

Bumbler posted:

Here's the abridged version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azZ0WqhM_ps

Here's the super abridged version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfY49zx7RU0

# ? May 14, 2018 00:32

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Beet Wagon posted:

I see Keramz is slowly making his way back to friendly territory after his trip "behind enemy lines" lol.

Gonna go ahead and say I called it.

Meh, he already has our stink. No matter what, that dude is already a filthy traitor fudster.

# ? May 14, 2018 00:41

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Frank_Leroux posted:

CIG is doing a bunch of financially shady crap so that they can get all of the money. This involves a thing called 'LTI', which is kinda mysterious. But all you really need to know is that they're trying to get new cash infusions rather than having their various backers shuffle store credit around. This tactic is rubbing many of the formerly faithful whales the wrong way.

Oh, and Star Citizen is bad.

Good enough?

No, not good enough! :colbert:

They have always run on a bunch of financially shady crap. What is different this time is that they were so loving obvious about needing money that even their dumbass backers noticed.

And once CIG is desperate enough they'll switch gear to "candid honesty" and tell the backers what they have always suspected:

buy the ships or Star Citizen, the doggo, gets it.

# ? May 14, 2018 00:46

Cao Ni Ma: May 25, 2010

TheAgent posted:

deadfire real good

More of a game that SC will ever be

# ? May 14, 2018 00:52

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

hmmm, am I vain enough to listen to myself on stream with VC

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

# ? May 14, 2018 00:55

Anticheese: Feb 13, 2008; $60,000,000 sexbot

Axegrinder posted:

The PoE2 keys have been claimed.

Congratulations to Taintrunner, Golli, and Anticheese. You will be contacted by PM shortly.

Enjoy!

Thanks a ton, Axegrinder! And here's to another game made while Star Citizen has been spinning its wheels

# ? May 14, 2018 01:07

The Saddest Robot: Apr 17, 2007

Anticheese posted:

Thanks a ton, Axegrinder! And here's to another game made while Star Citizen has been spinning its wheels

Wasn't the first PoE made while Star Citizen was spinning it's wheels?

# ? May 14, 2018 01:47

tooterfish: Jul 13, 2013

The Saddest Robot posted:

Wasn't the first PoE made while Star Citizen was spinning it's wheels?

Forget video games. While Star Citizen was spinning its wheels, SpaceX designed and built the Falcon 9.

And then flew it 54 times.

# ? May 14, 2018 02:51

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# ? May 25, 2024 04:57

TheGodofIris: Oct 12, 2016; None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe they are free

ArfJason posted:

hello, are you guys still hosed up retarded weirdos

Are we still gay in here?

Tane.

# ? May 14, 2018 02:52

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