|
Deadmeat5150 posted:Despite knowing how Julian looks, in my head he looks like Tuvok. Descriptions of him just morph into a black elf with a serious face, every time. 
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2018 02:42
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 11:59 |
|
|
Deadmeat5150 posted:Despite knowing how Julian looks, in my head he looks like Tuvok. Descriptions of him just morph into a black elf with a serious face, every time. To me Mother Bear is a literal bear, no matter how many times Ice says otherwise. She's an awakened bear that teaches on the island and nobody bats an eye.
|
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2018 09:32
|
|
|
sheep-dodger posted:To me Mother Bear is a literal bear, no matter how many times Ice says otherwise. She's an awakened bear that teaches on the island and nobody bats an eye. I need some fan art of a bear wearing combat gear, complete with a tiiiny helmet, firing a plastic toy rifle. e: Also, that's why it ditch water; checks out. CourValant fucked around with this message at 09:55 on Jun 15, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2018 09:53
|
|
|
mcclay posted:I am hella down to play 'shoot zombies to escape capitalism: the game' Grognan posted:would be down for a game numerrik posted:I'm so down to clown, and I can make it weekly. Jump on into the discord and send me a message. If you're not on discord the link should be in the first post. I want to see if I can get it running this week. Jagadaishio and Magnusth were also interested, I can wrangle five players and I imagine that if someone can't make it, with four we could run a game anyway. Still writing the next scene.
|
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2018 11:59
|
|
|
sheep-dodger posted:To me Mother Bear is a literal bear, no matter how many times Ice says otherwise. She's an awakened bear that teaches on the island and nobody bats an eye. Someone re-write Mother Bear's sections of the first three books, and replace all her dialogue with a bear doing bear things. Thanks.
|
|
#
?
Jun 15, 2018 15:59
|
|
|
Random question not directly related but is this shadowrun realm the same as the new CD Projekt Red cyberpunk game? Or they both just have alot of similarities?
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2018 01:09
|
|
|
They’re different. Cyberpunk 2077 is based on the Cyberpunk 2020 brand, which has neither monsters nor magic, just humans and tech.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2018 01:25
|
|
|
Toughy posted:Random question not directly related but is this shadowrun realm the same as the new CD Projekt Red cyberpunk game? No, they're just similar. The Cyberpunk [insert year here] universe predates SR by about a year, both were heavily inspired by the then-new popular genre of fiction, cyberpunk. For starters, SR doesn't normally have flying cars.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2018 01:27
|
|
|
Ok thank you both!
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2018 01:29
|
|
|
Deadmeat5150 posted:Despite knowing how Julian looks, in my head he looks like Tuvok. Descriptions of him just morph into a black elf with a serious face, every time. Funny, I was going for a different Star Trek character - Dr. Bashir. Also, Fuzzy reminds me of Fie Claussell from Legend of Heroes - definitely looks and attitude, sort of backstory.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2018 04:36
|
|
|
Having a problem with writing lately. Too much awful poo poo in the news. However, I feel like I am positively effecting people by writing neat stories here and wish to continue to do so. It's just difficult to summon the energy sometimes as I engage with politics. Still, writing this is a good point in my life. It's a big part of what gives me purpose and keeps me going. I'll try and get up a post soon. It's just been taxing these last few days. That said, if you're looking for ways to get involved, please do so. However big or small it is. Kids are in concentration camps. That is nothing but naked fascism. And when confronted by the fascists, you don't back down. You show them your teeth, By failing to stand up you will be picked apart one by one. History has shown us this. Now is a pretty good time for activism or donation is what I'm saying. Either through politics in swing states, because you can phone bank from out of state, or by donating to worthy causes or political organizations. That's if you want to dip in a toe into activism, and honestly, any effort is good. Or you could get involved with your local leftist organization to help resist fascism. Or you could just talk to people. However you want to get involved, if you want to, please do. These concentration camps for kids aren't an end state. They're another step in an ongoing process. It won't stop on its own. It has to be opposed and resisted. Not by politicians. Not by merely voting. By getting involved. Be the hero of your own story. Don't rely on others to do the job for you. Be your own hero. Participate. Even if the work is thankless. If there's anything that I've conveyed by telling this story, it's that you don't have to save the world. It's too big. It's too abstract. You can make a dent and do your part. Small choices make for big impacts in the aggregate. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Jun 19, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 19, 2018 22:26
|
|
|
Ice Phisherman posted:Small choices make for big impacts in the aggregate.  I also kinda feel bad now, because I've been using the World Cup to disengage from politics these past two weeks. Yeah, its probably the coward's way out, and, I don't want to deal with this latest fiasco of children being locked away from their parents, and some politicians having the audacity of calling it 'kinda like summer camp'; I don't want to infect my brain with this right now. Does no one else think that isolating all of our allies, to the point of having them all coordinate against us because of a threatening, looming 'Trade War', is of concern? The last time there was an Eight-Nation Alliance, things didn't turn out so well for the instigator.
|
|
#
?
Jun 19, 2018 22:43
|
|
|
CourValant posted:
Actually, going to have fun and retreating from politics is absolutely necessary from time to time. You can only engage with politics for so long before becoming jaded and numb. Disengaging is necessary for any sort of long term engagement. It's a marathon, not a sprint. There are times where I force myself to take a break from politics, because it is amazingly easy to grow numb and check out. Again, this is a tactic of the fascist. It's to wear out the opposition. Remember that to the most awful of people, this is energizing. They can fight all day because they take sick pleasure in the misery of others. People on the defense don't have that option. You need to cycle out to recuperate. Engage when you can. Retreat when you're tired. Engage, retreat, repeat. This is how you stay engaged long term. Still, please get involved. It doesn't have to be big. Donate time or money or both if you can. Every little bit helps. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 23:04 on Jun 19, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 19, 2018 22:51
|
|
|
This is why the prostrat is to learn to take pleasure in the misery of the fash. Cuts your break time into thirds, just make sure to not stare at the void too long 
|
|
#
?
Jun 19, 2018 23:28
|
|
|
Julie, Mrs. Maureen and Chip - Monday, July 22, 2075 - Morning - Blake Island Mrs. Maureen, the summoning teacher, was a slender, willowy woman. She'd cut her hair. It was no longer to her lower back, but now it was only shoulder length. Her chestnut colored hair was artfully curled into ringlets, her eyes were blue and expressive, her face was heart shaped and her makeup was understated. She wore a thick, white sweater, a long, billowy brown skirt and simple brown sandals. The only piece of jewelry she wore was a simple wedding ring. Her looks screamed young, attractive, granola fed academic. Today she, Julie and Chip sat inside of Mrs. Maureen's classroom. This was Mrs. Maureen's normal classroom, so it had no chairs, only old, ornate, individual rugs. The teacher, the student and the spirit all sat down. "First off, I want to say that I'm impressed with how you handled helping Kenji," said Mrs. Maureen, her smile wide and genuine. Julie smiled and shrugged. Next to her on his own mat, Chip rocked back and forth. "It wasn't a big deal," she said, modestly, "I took first responder training over the summer. I just remembered what I was taught." Mrs. Maureen paused and pursed her lips. Then she nodded to Julie. "I disagree. Not everyone rushes to help those in need, especially in a crisis. I wanted to tell you that your good deed has been noticed," said the teacher, "That's not why I wanted to talk to you today though." "No?" asked Julie. "No," responded Mrs. Maureen, "I wanted to check in with you and Chip to see how you're both doing. A few messages over the summer, detailed as they were are one thing, but it's another to talk face to face. I'd like to talk to you one at a time and then together about how your relationship is progressing as summoner and spirit. Is that okay?" Julie and Chip looked to one another. They didn't need to speak through their emotional connection to understand what the other was thinking. They both nodded. Mrs. Maureen smiled and clasped her hands together. "Lovely," said Mrs. Maureen, happily, "Now Chip, I know how you like to eat. My wife made a new batch of cookies. They're in the jar in my office. You may have two." Julie managed not to squirm at the mention of her teacher's wife. Though the young woman had made some strides in accepting that women did like women, and those negative feelings weren't as deep as they used to be, she still remembered prison and the way that the guard staff had treated her. Being friends with Fuzzy and Sasha helped soothe those negative feelings, but it was a slow process. However, as her emotional connection with Chip was still open and her spirit ally felt her feelings. An echo of his own discomfort at her suppressed feelings hit her, though it was tinged by covetous feelings for sweets. Both of the feelings of discomfort and covetousness bounced around inside of summoner and spirit, which was briefly disorienting. He looked away and promptly disappeared without a word. The sudden distance as he left helped those feelings settle down. An awkward silence followed and the teacher arched a slender eyebrow. "Were you communicating emotionally?" asked the teacher. Julie again felt the need to squirm, but kept herself under control. "Yeah," said Julie, "All the time." "Really? How often?" she asked, her tone one of polite interest. Julie was glad that her teacher hadn't pursued what made Chip uncomfortable as it originally came from her. The moment had passed and she was able to quiet her discomfort. "I meant that literally," explained Julie, "I can feel what he's feeling and he feels what I'm feeling almost all of the time. It can be intense if it's close. It's a channel that either of us can open or close. We can communicate too, but we also feel each other's feelings. It's only when I want some privacy that I end the connection and he knows to leave me be." Mrs. Maureen paused as she considered this, lips pursed in thought. "I have some concerns," she said, slowly, "It's good that you have boundaries and that he respects them, but both you and he are developing. Spirit allies are almost always summoned by adults. Now people are constantly changing, even while in adulthood, but those early years are a formative. In other words, they're a big part of what make you, you. I want you to be cautious with this emotional connection. If you begin to feel unable or unwilling to break it, find me immediately. The connection between yourself and a spirit at such a young age is largely uncharted territory. I feel like it should be fine so long as we can get ahead of it. So I want you to break this emotional connection for at least one hour a day outside of merely wanting privacy." "But..." began Julie. "Every day, once a day," continued Mrs. Maureen, "It can be at a specific time or different, but this isn't just about privacy. I don't want you two to become codependent. If you're spending that much time together, then you might be at risk for codependency. I'm not going to enable that." Julie's heart hurt. She loved Chip and he loved her back. The idea of willingly cutting herself off from him for anything other than privacy felt unnatural. "I don't see what's wrong about it," said Julie, meekly. The teacher smiled sadly at her student. "You've talked a few times in our messages about how Chip is like a family member to you," began Mrs. Maureen, gently, "That's more than him simply being an ally. You're close. In fact, I'd say you are closer than most summoners with your ally. It's okay to rely on people. However, when you lean on someone so heavily that you will emotionally collapse if they leave, that's called codependency. It's like a sort of relationship addiction. It's more complicated than that, but I'm not a counselor. Now I'm not saying you are or aren't, but someone in your position is at risk for that. So I think it's prudent to act now. I only know this because I've been doing my research, and there's a high incidence of codependency between summoners and their spirits. This is why I want to start you off with cutting off your emotional connection with him at least once a day for an hour." "Start me off?" asked Julie, warily. "Yes," confirmed Mrs. Maureen, "Start you off. I'd also like to have you evaluated by a professional. I want your relationship with Chip to be a healthy one. The relationship between summoner and spirit can be intense, especially since it comes so suddenly. Unlike normal relationships, the strong emotional connection forms immediately and only strengthens as you get to know one another. There is no lead up to it. It just happens. This is out of order for most relationships and since it is sudden it can be overwhelming. I've been spending some extra time over the summer doing some research on the topic. What you've done is rare enough and personal enough that there aren't many scholarly first hand accounts on the subject. Or if there is then that research isn't publicly available. I had to talk to people who'd done what you did and ask questions and that took time. Otherwise I would have raised these concerns sooner. I didn't understand the possibilities. I was so focused on your initiation ceremony that I neglected the ramifications of summoning a spirit ally and for that I am truly sorry. I'm not perfect. I just want to make sure that you're okay." A slow, creeping panic began to spread through Julie. Talking about her feelings with someone she didn't trust was a bad thing. Her prophecy made her a target and if she slipped up and talked about it to the wrong person, she might end up disappearing. In fact, that was likely. It had been a risk to tell Julian, Mother Bear and Fuzzy. All it took was one slip up around the wrong person or someone accidentally talking about what she'd done and she would be gone. Julie was self-aware enough to know that if she talked to a counselor, they'd find far more than relationship problems with Chip. Then they might start to dig. "I'm okay," said Julie, quickly. Mrs. Maureen forced a smile and leaned in. "Neither of us can know if you're okay or not," said her teacher, gently, "This is what an evaluation is for. If you're really okay, then you may go in for a few sessions with a counselor. If you have...Umm...Issues to work through, then you can work through them with a professional. We have an excellent school counselor, but if you're not comfortable with him then we can find you a counselor outside of school. You're insured through the school, so it won't cost you anything. I'll even see if I can get the school to cover your copay since I am responsible for helping you with Chip." "I'm okay," said Julie, nervously, "Really." "No. I'm sorry Julie. This isn't a request," countered Mrs. Maureen, sadly, yet firmly, "I've read your file. Frankly, I'm surprised that Julian hasn't gotten you into counseling already. That should have been done last year first thing. As I understand it, he is helping you with your doctor's office. So he is trying, but he's just one person with four teenagers to look after. Things are bound to slip with him stretched that thin. I'm trying to look out for you, even if it doesn't feel like that right now." Julie bristled. Despite her teacher's gentle tone, she was talking about her relationship beyond Chip. Julie's first instinct was to tell her no. No, she didn't need to see anyone. No, she was fine. No, this wasn't right. That she didn't like being cornered because this was a violation of her trust, no matter how well intentioned. However, for as gentle, intelligent and kind that Mrs. Maureen could be, she was also an authoritarian. Insubordination from her students was not tolerated. She could be persuaded out of a decision, but it had to be a good argument for her to even entertain the idea. If Julie butted heads with her, she'd lose because her teacher had power over her and was not afraid to exercise it. So after calming herself and a few seconds of consideration, Julie went with a different route. "I have responsibilities," said Julie, "I have a community that relies on me to be its healer. I need to collect enough reagents to do some summoning for an environmental cleanup project with Mr. Peters in the next few months. I'm also sponsoring my friend, Oli so she can become a professional artist, and she's going to need me. That's not even including my normal studies or spending time with friends. I'm not sure if I have time for anything more on my plate right now." Mrs. Maureen shook her head and smiled. "Julie, the way you take on tasks, you'll never make time for it. I'm confident that the moment you do get some free time, you'll just fill it up with work again," said Mrs. Maureen, "Self care is important. Trust me, I know. Grad school is an especially harsh lesson in what happens when someone goes for long periods of time with hours filled with endless work and no time set aside for self care. Mental health problems, high stress and the occasional breakdown are more common than you know among academics and the professional class. Your classes are high school level, but your projects are graduate level or professional. That's a lot of pressure for someone your age. If you break down because you're not taking care of yourself then all of that will fall apart. I want you to succeed. I don't want you to fall into the same trap that I've seen so many others fall into. Taking care of yourself is necessary. Luckily, I believe that I know a way for you to get some time while staying true to your commitments. I'll need to talk about that with Chip. Send him in please." This was it, Julie realized. Mrs. Maureen was actively interfering in her life. She had enough on her plate and her teacher was piling on even more. She could feel despair weighing down on her like a lead blanket. After a moment's hesitation, she stood up from her rug and went outside. Chip sat on a wooden bench in the hall outside of the classrooms. She'd been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she hadn't even felt him grow near. His bare feet swung to and fro without touching the ground. They shared a brief emotional conversation that was filled with anxiety and sadness before Chip wordlessly went into the classroom and shut the door. Julie took his seat on the bench. A minute later, Chip broke the emotional connection. Its sudden absence felt like a punch to the gut. She hadn't been ready for it because he almost never broke their connection first. Unable to connect with Chip, she tried not to despair further as she was left alone with her thoughts and feelings. Fifteen minutes later, Chip opened the door again. Julie read his expression. He didn't even try to conceal his excitement and happiness. She wished that she could feel that to help give herself a boost, but Chip hadn't reestablished their empathic link. They both had to connect to establish it. Her reaching out wouldn't do anything until he did too. "Hey," he said, "Come on." Reluctantly, Julie stood up and returned to the classroom. Mrs. Maureen continued to sit on her rug while Chip and Julie sat back down on theirs. "So I've come to a decision," said Mrs. Maureen. Julie came to a snap decision as well. There was no thought or reason behind it beyond a desperate wish to protect herself. She just acted. "Shouldn't Julian be here for this?" asked Julie, quickly, "He's my guardian and you're making choices about sending me to a psychiatrist." Mrs. Maureen pursed her lips and shook her head, though she was more hesitant than before. "Not a psychiatrist, a counselor," said Mrs. Maureen, slowly, "And just for an evaluation. Julian is your guardian, yes, but he is helping Kenji and is therefore indisposed for the day. He's also not an expert in spirits. I am. This has to do with your relationship with Chip. I have reasonable concerns about the nature of your relationship with Chip. You told me that your main problem is time. I'm here to help you find some." Julie shut her eyes, grit her teeth and spoke a single word. "No," snapped Julie. "No?" asked Mrs. Maureen, her tone both surprised and mildly offended. Julie reached back to her prison days. Once upon a time her hustle had been her knowledge of the law. She'd done paralegal work for cons that wanted to get their cases heard. It was a big part of how she got by in prison. She'd spent long hours in the library reading the law and working with legal documents for a prison population that was normally barely literate. This was outside of her experience with magical law, but there was enough crossover for her to try and bluster her way through. So she dug down and found the numbness that got her through the worst days of prison. She was still terrified, but she was able to emotionally anesthetize herself just enough to stay in control. Her face smoothed out and lost all traces of emotion. "No," repeated Julie, her tone deadpan, and that sudden lack of emotion was eerie when compared to that sharper snap, "You are attempting to make major decisions for me without my input and without my guardian present. I understand that technically as a teacher, you are also my guardian while I am at school. Though I'll bet that his rights suprecede yours as he is my guardian and my teacher both. I understand that you want what's best for me and while I can appreciate that, you aren't even talking to me. You're talking at me. I do not appreciate what you're doing and I will not accept any decision you make without my guardian present. I believe that you are stretching your authority beyond its natural limit. I want Julian present for any decisions you attempt to make on my behalf. If I believe that there is a conflict of interest then let me inform you that I understand the legal system well enough to defend myself. Failing that, I will hire a lawyer. I remember what happened with Minuet last semester. I remember the school's failure to prevent that. I let that slide because I didn't report the bullying. I didn't protect myself from her vigorously enough. I've made the decision to change that. I am going to take an active role in protecting myself. That means from everyone, even well intentioned people." The sudden switch from the normally cheery and bright Julie to this yet unseen cold, calm and efficient Julie was sudden and shocking to her teacher. The language of law, even though she understood it imperfectly, was her mind state defaulting back to her time at prison. For her part, Mrs. Maureen looked confused and worried. The teacher who'd gently pushed her way past the polite deflections and then the nervous stalling was now stopped by the cold and logical assertion of her legal rights. For such a simple conversation, it was completely unexpected. Wrapped up in her terror and numbness as she was, Julie didn't notice her teacher's eyes slide out of focus. What Mrs. Maureen saw there in the astral was Julie's emotional state laid bare. Her emotional state was distorted with barely suppressed terror and checked only by her numbness. Mrs. Maureen's eyes slid back into focus and she delicately cleared her throat. "Okay Julie," said Mrs. Maureen, slowly and neutrally, "I won't talk about this any further without Julian here. I apologize. You are right. I didn't take your feelings into account." Julie nodded once and said nothing. "I need to make a few calls," said Mrs. Maureen, "Then we can talk more about you and Chip. Could you wait here please?" "Okay," said Julie, her voice entirely devoid of emotion. "Okay," she said, "I'll be right back. Stay here please." Mrs. Maureen wasn't exactly subtle about how she moved. She didn't flee the classroom to go get help, but at least she didn't run as she opened and closed the door behind her. A tiny hand worked its way into Julie's own. It was Chip's. He'd been quiet this entire time. Julie looked down at his wide eyes and felt nothing. The look she gave him pierced through him and into the middle distance without looking away. She only thought about how to handle the situation when Julian eventually involved himself. What sprang to mind was emancipating herself if he tried to force her to seek treatment and she idly toyed with that thought. She probably wouldn't have to follow through, just mention it. He would understand her position if put plainly enough. Her prophecy was coming soon. Riots and death were on the horizon. She would need to prepare. Chip reestablished the emotional link. Worry and care pressed against the edges of her numbness and found their way into the cracks. Underneath was terror, Chip worked his way towards the center of her emotional core. She began to shake as he broke through near effortlessly. Wordlessly, they communicated emotions to one another and Chip helped Julie from losing herself to her fear. Mrs. Maureen checked on them several times, but they didn't move and so she went back to calling for help on her hard line phone from her office. Neither the young woman nor the spirit noticed as Chip coaxed her away from the edge of an emotional breakdown. He sat on her lap and hugged her. Her own arms dangled uselessly. She was too deep into their mutual feelings to notice the outside world. Some time later, Mrs. Maureen appeared to sit with Julie and Chip, unsure of what to do. Again, Julie didn't notice. All she noticed was Chip. "You need help," communicated Chip, through their emotional link. Julie said nothing back, but at least this time she didn't deny it. She would go see a counselor. CYOA Time Erased what was here so there aren't any spoilers. If you're reading this in the past and read thread chatter, skip over it and to my next post so you don't get spoiled. It's minor, but somewhat jarring. Rolls: Stuff happened. Sorry, spoilers made me erase this part as it's caused some problems and I didn't take them into account. Rolls were made though. Julie gains 2 karma. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 15:58 on Jul 2, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 25, 2018 22:30
|
|
|
A psych ward? Because she's terrified about revealing she saw the future and getting hunted down as a curiosity or worse? I mean sure, she has plenty of problems that make this worse, but I don't actually see the justification for sending her to a psych ward, or why she would accept. E: That was dramatic as hell though. I really enjoyed their conversation. Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Jun 25, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 25, 2018 23:27
|
|
|
Wow !! That's a lot of drama. Nicely played out, Ice! Also keeping cool while terrified underneath is alot of being adult in risky jobs, first responders, oil riggers, doctors, basically anyone who knows if they gently caress up it can cause serious harm or death to themselves or others. Julie has ice zone instead of a panick and flee zone which is great for her. Plus she's finally get the help she needs, which is why it won't be a hard sell to Kenji because it benefits her not harm's her. Fuzzy on the other hand is going to have to be given the reason she's not allowed to leave which is just as worst then visiting a "sick" friend.
|
|
#
?
Jun 25, 2018 23:29
|
|
|
Hopefully she actually does get to run that past Julian, and/or leave ASAP. Can't be communicated, but dread future prophecies seems like a decent enough extenuating excuse for this one
|
|
#
?
Jun 25, 2018 23:48
|
|
|
Dr Subterfuge posted:A psych ward? Because she's terrified about revealing she saw the future and getting hunted down as a curiosity or worse? I mean sure, she has plenty of problems that make this worse, but I don't actually see the justification for sending her to a psych ward. Julie has been able to keep a lid on her feelings, but that's over now. If she breaks down it won't be a crying session. It'll be something more along the lines of a full mental breakdown. She's not there yet. Mrs. Maureen acted before that happened. Not once has Julie went to therapy for what has happened to her. Julian might be a good person, but he definitely doesn't know how to parent that well. He's just one person. His job as a teacher gives him some crossover in how to help the teens, but Fuzzy, Julie, Kenji and now Sasha are extreme cases. In fact, I'd say that Fuzzy is now the most stable out of all of her friends. And the fact that Julie now has a secret that 100% can't get out kept her from going to therapy was a sort of boon to her. That way she didn't have to deal with her problems. She had an excuse. Remember what's happened to Julie: 1. She lost her identity as a human when she goblinized and became an ork. 2. Her dad tried to strangle her to death for this in a hospital bed. 3. She killed her dad with uncontrolled magic. 4. She literally became what she was racist against: A metahuman and a magic user. 5. Her entire family abandoned her as a consequence. 6. She went to prison meant for adults with powers. 7. She was abused by the prison guards as a way of breaking her. I've mentioned cavity searches at gunpoint more than once. 8. She's seen someone's head get blown off during a prison fight with a high powered rifle. 9. She was bullied by Christine who outed her secret as having killed her father. 10. She was publicly shamed for racism. 11. She was bullied by Minuet and company for that racism (in part). 12. She's been involved in a gunfight in her own home and seen her then boyfriend shot, then considered whether to launch a stunning or killing spell at her bully, the shooter. 13. She saw the future where hundreds of people were killed by the police. I'm probably missing some stuff, but a lot of bad things have happened to Julie. Out of everything here, she's really only dealt with numbers 9,10, 11, 12 and 13. And even then imperfectly and not really in a way that helped fix anything. Legally she was cleared of the death of her father as well, though I doubt she's actually dealt with it. She talked to Fuzzy last fall to stay stable, but Fuzzy could only listen. Julie has held up remarkably well, but she deals with her problems by papering over everything with work, by leaning on her friends and by relying on Chip in a way which is growing more and more codependent. She does have coping mechanisms and they're not destructive, but she largely avoids her problems and doesn't talk about them or think about them. The secret of her prophecy was an unwelcome but convenient excuse not to dredge any bad feelings up. Mrs. Maureen got a good look at what Julie is dealing with emotionally (like Sasha does) at a particularly low point while already talking about having Julie evaluated. What Mrs. Maureen saw was alarming enough to seek help on Julie's behalf. Julie has come to the realization that she needs help and is going to check herself in for mental help. She doesn't have to be forced to go. Her being forced to go would've been way worse because she'd lose control over her situation. Also, this gives her the flexibility to show up to the riot if she's there for long enough. She can just check out whenever she feels like it. That's not a healthy thought, but it works for her. She worked and worked and worked to avoid all of her problems right up until someone wanted her to face her past. That is something that Julie was so opposed to that the only way she could deal with her terror was by shutting herself down emotionally. She's Wile E. Coyote running off the ledge. She was fine so long as she didn't look off the ledge and she managed not to for a long time. Now she has and now she's falling. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 00:01 on Jun 26, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 25, 2018 23:53
|
|
|
That was tense as hell. Miss Maureen and Chip are right that Julie needs help, but the exact timing of it is going to be rough moving forward.
|
|
#
?
Jun 25, 2018 23:57
|
|
|
Ice Phisherman posted:Words Investigate and reboot Salmon Run. I mean we need a way for all of them to stay connected, and Salmon Run is the established way to do that. Sasha could work on getting it functional again, since she doesn’t have any big projects so far, and she and Fuzzy can communicate through it to eke out a little more time together. Also, Julie should be able to get some access to it, it’d be the best for Julie to “develop healthy relationships with her own peer group and ease reintegration with her school” right? Plus, it’d give the gang a covert communications platform if we ever need it for talking about the prophecy or anything else that may come up. E: Kenji takes it well, Fuzzy doesn’t really accept anything other than a direct answer. Kenji takes it well because he saw people break in the ache and while it might be bitter to let her go, he knows the best way to protect her is to let her get the help she requires. Fuzzy meanwhile will probably confront Julian about not being able to visit, this might be a good place to fit in pitching the salmon run angle to Julian, or she might screw up and reveal that she knows about the prophecy, depending on the dice. numerrik fucked around with this message at 01:16 on Jun 26, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 00:33
|
|
|
Fuzzy: Demand answers. Kenji: Find an opportunity to visit Julie soon. Kenji should probably wear a different face on the streets of Seattle in case Human Nation has targeted him as Fuzzy-adjacent.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 01:55
|
|
|
malbogio posted:Fuzzy: Demand answers. These seem like natural courses of action for these two.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 02:35
|
|
|
Not only does Julie need a therapist, she should either join or start a support group for survivors of Goblinization too. Her violence-related issues are best handled in privacy and safety, but a change to your self-identity is often best unpacked in a sympathetic group environment. She might even find people who can related to having family members attack or disown them after a Goblinization. Fuzzy's going to be agitated beyond words. Her worry about Julie would be controllable if she could visit her friend to see if she's okay and check in on how she's doing - at least make the offer of help. But Fuzzy responds extremely poorly to helplessness and passivity, and she's forced into both as long as she's trapped on the island. She might try to send a thoughtful gift of some type of comfort item along with Chip to try to at least be doing something. Kenji's in a similar situation. He's the type of person accustomed to trying to solve a problem the very day that it appears - whether that's rowing a boat across the Sound or organizing an impromptu miracle in a Hospice. So, until he's able to act, he's going to have to content himself with making plans for the very first day he can leave. He's going to try to assemble a goodie bag and offer to help break her out - with all the best intentions.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 02:42
|
|
|
jagadaishio posted:Not only does Julie need a therapist, she should either join or start a support group for survivors of Goblinization too. Her violence-related issues are best handled in privacy and safety, but a change to your self-identity is often best unpacked in a sympathetic group environment. She might even find people who can related to having family members attack or disown them after a Goblinization. I knew I should've waited for you to unpack this before I started quotevoting. This seems like a good expansion to the above vote.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 02:45
|
|
|
Fuzzy and Kenji are going to recognize that they both don't respond well to this kind of situation and work together, right?
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 03:16
|
|
|
Dr Subterfuge posted:Fuzzy and Kenji are going to recognize that they both don't respond well to this kind of situation and work together, right? Well, I feel like Sasha might be more well-equipped to notice this sort of thing about her friends.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 03:24
|
|
|
Do they get to see her and talk over dinner first, or she's off in the next minute? It matters if she gets to explain, or they need to ask Julian "where is Julie?". Aside, remember that Julie used to talk to Fuzzy last year about her problems - enough that it was a significant part of her time (we voted between this, sleep or studying)? While Fuzzy could say "she got me, she don't need a ward", she can't deny that Julie does need help.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 08:50
|
|
|
Ice Phisherman posted:Frankly, I'm surprised that Julian hasn't gotten you into counseling already. That should have been done last year first thing. Yeah, I agree, and in hindsight I can't believe we tried to fix this with ice cream and pizza girls night. I suppose SR Prison doesn't take any better care of an inmate's mental health than normal prison now. Charity begins at home, so let's take care of our resident healer. Ice Phisherman posted:CYOA Time Kenny: Julie is pack to him now, so I'm sure he'll fight to go see her. And oh boy are we starting Year 2 with some drama; I might have to transfer my Romeo and Juliet fixation to this couple. Fuzzy: She'd care in the nebulous sense, although she's too distracted with supporting Sasha to realistically do anything about this.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 21:49
|
|
|
CourValant posted:Yeah, I agree, and in hindsight I can't believe we tried to fix this with ice cream and pizza girls night. While I 100% agree, it would feel strange or out of character for anyone with the exception of Sasha suggesting counseling. If Sasha had a real grasp on what Julie was going through beyond reading her emotions maybe it would have made sense, but she saw that Julie was in pain and suggested pizza and ice cream. It's a very girls night thing to do and is a way to show care. Fuzzy probably doesn't even know what a counselor is and Kenji deals with his problems primarily by saying gently caress it and having a beer. Julian should have been on the ball. He was trying, but I'm going to address his failures from year one in the next few posts.
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2018 22:24
|
|
|
Glad Ice responded to that, I feel like Fuzzy honestly did the best she could in that situation, and we did a great job of staying in character. I know that we've all been doing our best to avoid using the word but... Julie is essentially a rape survivor. Her friends have done the best they can with the knowledge they have, but I don't think Julie herself even considers that to be the case, so she's never talked about it to anybody.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 00:10
|
|
|
Ice Phisherman posted:While I 100% agree, it would feel strange or out of character for anyone with the exception of Sasha suggesting counseling. Agreed, and it makes perfect sense. We dealt with it as best we could given the tools at our disposal; this was why I mentioned a few times in Year One that "We needed an adult". RickVoid posted:... Julie is essentially a rape survivor. Wouldn't it be more in line with violent crime survivor or domestic abuse survivor or something similar? I don't recall specific instances of sexual abuse, unless Ice skipped over it for Julie's time in prison?
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 00:42
|
|
|
CourValant posted:Agreed, and it makes perfect sense. The cavity searches are traumatic/sensitive enough that they could be considered sexual assault at the least.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 00:58
|
|
|
CourValant posted:Wouldn't it be more in line with violent crime survivor or domestic abuse survivor or something similar? Nah, not with this: Ice Phisherman posted:7. She was abused by the prison guards as a way of breaking her. I've mentioned cavity searches at gunpoint more than once.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 01:04
|
|
|
DreamingofRoses posted:The cavity searches are traumatic/sensitive enough that they could be considered sexual assault at the least. I wish that I could consider this extreme, but breaking new cons is considered normal in the US justice system even today. It's accepted practice when you get to medium security prisons and above, though cavity searches at gunpoint are more common for very violent offenders in max or supermax prisons. It's a tactic that's specifically used to terrify and humiliate people. One of many. Back during my college days I dove deeply into the common practices of the prison system and I'm a fan of the Fresh Out series on youtube where an ex-con talks frankly about his time in prison while dispelling myths. It's pretty good if you're interested in prison culture. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=user?FreshOutSeries?featured Breaking a new con's will is standard procedure in prisons that house violent offenders. The smart ones pretend to break. The tough ones tough it out until the guards get bored some weeks or months later. The scared cons actually break pretty fast. Julie wasn't smart or tough or even scared. Julie was so numb that she came into prison already broken and the guards didn't recognize this or they just went through the motions. Rita showed her how to get the guards off her back. Some of the violence that I talk about is institutional and it hasn't really gotten a lot of talk until now. Julie has been abused by the prison system and Kenji lived in a gigantic government run slum hive with no police presence. Either these are institutional failings or abuse is baked into the system. Normally the horror in a women's prison is turned down a lot compared to a men's prison, but Julie was in prison for violent offenders so they didn't get a pass. Julie didn't communicate any of her prison experience to Julian. Julian means well and sure he's well respected, intelligent and powerful, but he wasn't prepared to deal with their problems. Early on he was trying to be that wise, old sage with "Fuzzy, you are juice" and as it turns out, life is more complicated than being Gandalf to Fuzzy's Frodo, and it was Fuzzy that disabused him of that. By the time he realizes that he should have gotten Julie into therapy, she's had her vision and that is an excellent excuse not to send her even though she absolutely should have by that point. He's trying, and he's been getting better. He's also a fantastic resource for gaining access to people, places or things that the teens normally wouldn't gain access to. And when he's being an advocate he's a pretty good one. But he's just not been up to the task of raising young people. He's either going to need to go through remediation or give up his role as their guardian. I've been planning to have Julian address his failings at some point as a guardian to Julie, Kenji, Fuzzy and Sasha. I think I'm going to bump up when I was going to do that as I didn't expect Julie to break down in a non-critical way and then get noticed. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 01:43 on Jun 27, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 01:24
|
|
|
Well the most scandalous part of the premonition is over, the only thing left is the actual riot, which if someone said was going to happen would be met with either a no poo poo Sherlock or a likely but I'm hoping not. Would there be any ramifications if someone found she knew and did what she did instead of taking a more active role? Basically I'm asking is there any real danger from the prophecy this far down the line.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 01:34
|
|
|
Toughy posted:Well the most scandalous part of the premonition is over, the only thing left is the actual riot, which if someone said was going to happen would be met with either a no poo poo Sherlock or a likely but I'm hoping not. If anyone ever finds out she had a concrete premonition of a future event, no matter what the event is, that about wraps it up for her. That's what happens to people who see the future in the Sixth World, whether it's because they get used by powerful people or corporations to try to see the future, or they get killed to deny them to others, or whatever. Seeing the future is a big loving deal. The further into the future after the event, the less likely any memories she has get attributed to premonition.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 01:40
|
|
|
dont be mean to me posted:If anyone ever finds out she had a concrete premonition of a future event, no matter what the event is, that about wraps it up for her. That's what happens to people who see the future in the Sixth World, whether it's because they get used by powerful people or corporations to try to see the future, or they get killed to deny them to others, or whatever. Seeing the future is a big loving deal. So they'll think her one off premonition is something she can do repeatedly? And if not do whatever they can to her to make her have more visions with what I can assume is the coporate(worst) way possible?
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 01:47
|
|
|
Toughy posted:So they'll think her one off premonition is something she can do repeatedly? And if not do whatever they can to her to make her have more visions with what I can assume is the coporate(worst) way possible? Yup. Even a teeny tiny chance she can get another future vision is worth enough for the AAA megacorps to go all out to grab her.
|
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 01:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 11:59 |
|
|
So the topic of Julie's trauma has been raised and I've been thinking about it. I think I've made this clear through my writing, but I'm not trying to be edgy. It's hard for me to pin the word down, but I define it as attempting to be shocking for the sole sake of being shocking. I do write shocking scenes. I consider myself pretty good at writing horror, but the horror writing that I'm most familiar with is through Call of C'thulu, Delta Green, the works of Caleb Stokes and lastly, my favorite horror writer, Junji Ito who is a master of horror and absolutely terrifying. Don't read his stuff unless you've just woken up. My own brand of horror comes from the everyday. The horror is rarely burning couches falling from the sky into a garbage pit where Kenji is where thousands of burning roaches scatter in every direction. While it certainly seems possible, I don't go for the over the top shocks very often. I prefer a slow, creeping dread. Since I listen to actual play podcasts quite a lot I find myself immersed most in the amateur spaces for horror. They're people around a table rolling dice and going through a grinding scenario. I've never actually delved deeply into horror before because as a standalone genre it never interested me as a writer. As a reader, sure, but not as a writer. It's really only when I can bounce from genre to genre that I'm interested in telling it at all. In these amateur spaces, they delve into cosmic horror, which is out of Lovecraft and those who follow him. I find it interesting, but not particularly terrifying. What is terrifying are the moments inbetween where the human stories are told and those are the real horror stories. If anything, the cosmic horror allows me a respite from what feels more real like murder, poverty, abuse, violence, that sort of stuff. I'd say that I've been able to transfer my knowledge of romance very well over to horror. There's actually some crossover. Creating tension. And I'd say that I'm actually pretty good at creating tension. Tension is what drives romance and horror both. It actually hasn't been that hard to transfer my knowledge of creating tension in romance to creating it in horror, or even in drama come to think of it. And my submersion in podcasts that have to deal with horror (I've easily listened to several thousand hours of them) means that I can come to some sort of satisfying narrative conclusion. I actually don't do a ton of storyboarding because choices from the thread or the dice will blow up my plots. And that's fine. I'm flexible. What I do focus on is storyboarding out the individual chapters to do my best to evoke a feeling. I may not always accomplish this, but when it hits, it hits solidly. I've said before that when I tell the stories that they're often taken either from history or direct experience. Julie's story of abuse isn't actually abnormal for the prison system save that her experience would be more in line with a men's prison. Women's prisons tend to be more chill. A cavity search at gunpoint, giving someone a particularly thin blanket in a cold cell, spreading rumors that they're a snitch, the violence in the prison system is systemic and awful. Very little in the way of abuse gets documented and prisoners are often used as slave labor. Prisons in the US could be well run, could rehabilitate people and help integrate them back into society. Few people actually care and both people and politicians like being "tough on crime" which basically enables long term institutionalized exploitation and torture. So when I write something about what Julie saw in prison, which I'd consider maximum security, but not supermax, it's also compounded by the fact that private prisons are awful because they skimp on everything to make a buck but reduced in intensity due to the fact that it was a women's prison. I don't speak from first hand experience as I've never been to prison, but I've befriended a number of people who've seen the inside of jail cells both for short and long term stays. I'm also the sort of person that people tell things to that they don't tell anyone else. Perhaps it's because I try to understand instead of judge. I'm not really sure. All I know is that people will tell me things that they normally won't share with other people or stories that they probably shouldn't tell at all. So this threads into a talent of mine. I have a talent for remembering stories. If someone told me their name I probably wouldn't remember it ten seconds later, but I'll remember someone's story blow for blow a decade later. It's one of the reasons that I can keep all of the little details of this story in my head without any plot holes. I might forget stuff, but it's rare that I run into any plot holes and if I do mess something up, people here ask me about it. So while Fuzzy and Kenji's stories are pretty up there in terms of awfulness, they take more to believe. Fuzzy hunted rats, got shot at by gangers and chased by ghouls. Kenji dealt with going into a nightmare basement and being a slave to his dominant personality. Julie on the other hand is far more down to earth as a character. Her father tried to strangle her and she killed him while defending herself. Her family abandoned her. She was cavity searched at gun point. She was bullied at school. She was attacked in her home by that bully. Her story is much more believable and I think that makes it all the more tragic. I have known many Julies in my life. I come from an area where poverty was and still is rampant. The textile mills of the South went away in the 90's, but the mill towns around them have lingered on despite not really having major industries to replace them. That is slowly changing, but the mill towns that had been a staple of the South are gone, but the attitudes that helped support them didn't. Parents had no interest in education because they left school before high school to work in the mills. They passed this disregard of education to their children who would drop out of high school, but find no mill to work in. They'd mostly went to China. That ancestral knowledge about having a job right out of school no matter what your education was no longer applied. Many of the girls got pregnant and left. Poverty skyrocketed, and this wasn't the grinding poverty of people who would work in the cotton mills until they died, or stop right before they did and be on oxygen due to brown lung, which came from all of the cotton fibers which would move into their lungs. No, this was worse. No jobs, no ability to move away, no skills and very little hope. I remember visiting one of these communities pretty frequently for a few years because I had a friend who'd moved into his grandmother's house after she died. It was a seriously nice place. Several generations of their family had made it into a home through hard work and sweat. It was still a mill home among other mill homes, but it was one of the nicer ones. They'd been prosperous and that street was one of the nicer ones. I met a girl who I'll call M. M was friends with my friend's daughter. I remember her coming over to play one day and on her way she'd seen someone dead in a ditch of what I can only assume was a heroin overdose. She also told my friend about the white van that tried to get kids to come inside that would drive around now and again. And as she had developed early, she was especially worried. This was two streets down from where my friend lived. This street was full of trap houses, junkie dens and abandoned homes where the homeless squatted. M is a really sweet little girl, and I want the best for her. I haven't seen her in years though as my friend moved to a different home closer to his work. I will say that while she was effected by what she saw, these weren't the worst things that someone in that community would see. In fact, the horror of grinding poverty and hopelessness were everyday occurrences. My idea of horror, the stuff that really effects me, is M's story. They're people from my old high school where the dropout rate was nearly 50%. Where one of my high school friends was preyed on by a pedophile and later married one. Where my brother's friend was hit by a drunk driver on her way home from school. She has to walk on the road because the long grass is full of venomous cottonmouths. Where my friend's family lost her home and they moved into a motel that was full of junkies and prostitutes because they gave the best monthly rates. Drug use was rampant. The teens loved amphetamines when I was growing up, but eventually it was heroin that won out. The one silver lining was that my school was still rural enough at the time that gangs didn't become a thing until after I left. This is the horror that actually effects me. Most horror barely rates for me, and I'd say that I've seen enough bad things in my life that it takes a lot for anything to rate. Cosmic horror is sort of cool, but it never disturbs me. And horror movies rarely frighten me unless they go for the bizarre like Japanese horror or go deep into horror that focuses on helplessness, which I just don't want to watch. So I think about Julie's story and while it's not condensed into a single person, I'd say that I knew a dozen Julies. Poverty and especially generational poverty has a way of creating people like Julie. I don't really focus on that kind of horror in Julie's story. It is formative, but I don't think that people would really want to read a book about that kind of grinding hopelessness and systemic poverty for fun. I keep it low key, but it's not there to be edgy or to be there for the sake of being there. This story is personal, and I am lucky that most of my friends from high school are still living and thriving. In the case of my friend, about half of his friends are dead. Rural poverty has a way of absolutely chewing through young people. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 05:00 on Jun 27, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jun 27, 2018 04:32
|
|