HEY GUNS posted:get cursed I'm an American so I am already. We all live on top of thousands of years of ancient Indian burial grounds.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 04:52 |
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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:23 |
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:A really good thing to bring back to the ancient Romans if you wanted to make money and were thinking about weight/space is curare extract. It is light as a feather and takes up no room, it kills in a very mysterious way, it was unknown in Europe, it can't kill people by being ingested, you could sell it for a million billion sesterces. I'd bring some OG Kush. Probably puts whatever the Scythians were smoking to shame.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 05:29 |
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What would happen if you introduced Julius Caesar to cocaine?
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 12:29 |
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Bring some fuckin cocoa beans. Everybody fuckin loves chocolate.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 12:33 |
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Tomn posted:What would happen if you introduced Julius Caesar to cocaine? Persia would have been history. On the other hand, Caesar allegedly preferred not to drink even with meals, so maybe going all Al Pacino in Heat wouldn’t have appealed to him.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 12:35 |
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God imagine how much Cicero wouldn't shut the gently caress up if he had coke.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 12:37 |
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Imagine how much fun Cato the Younger would be with cocaine
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 13:03 |
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Grand Fromage posted:God imagine how much Cicero wouldn't shut the gently caress up if he had coke. God dammit I'm somehow working this into an alternate history story somehow. SOMEHOW.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 13:46 |
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FAUXTON posted:Imagine how much fun Cato the Younger would be with cocaine Wasn't he in the habit of running until he passed out from exhaustion anyway? So a more hyperactive Cato... God, I just know that if Cato were alive today he'd be one of those guys who goes on and on about how he only runs barefoot because it's better for your feet and while it might hurt at first, your soles will toughen up and you'll stop noticing it.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 14:11 |
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Just saw this folding pocket knife. Never knew Romans had these.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 14:12 |
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Epicurius posted:Wasn't he in the habit of running until he passed out from exhaustion anyway? So a more hyperactive Cato... Cato would absolutely be the one Koch kid who just makes shirts all day except his thing would be cabbage kombucha
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 14:26 |
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FAUXTON posted:Imagine how much fun Cato the Younger would be with cocaine So he wouldn't be fun with cocaine for very long
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 14:39 |
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Halloween Jack posted:He made a point of only drinking the cheapest wine He wouldn't take long to get a solid habit rolling, imagine how much poo poo he'd get from Caesar for being a coke fiend after being so holier-than-thou with that ascetism schtick.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 14:46 |
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Decius posted:Pretty sure boiled cabbage juice is the real Roman coffee.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 16:39 |
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Epicurius posted:Wasn't he in the habit of running until he passed out from exhaustion anyway? So a more hyperactive Cato... I'm willing to bet he'd be a vegan, touting how in the good old days of the republic real virtuous man wouldn't dream of eating meat.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 16:50 |
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Halloween Jack posted:He made a point of only drinking the cheapest wine But a lot of it.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 17:01 |
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Halloween Jack posted:You do realize people don't drink coffee because they want diarrhea, right? I'm sorry come again
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 17:10 |
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Halloween Jack posted:He made a point of only drinking the cheapest wine Sounds like a guy who would be game for some CZECH CRYSTAL
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 17:13 |
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Isn't it already established that Cato the Younger would be a guy who runs for office dressed like Ben Franklin? He'd probably be Elmer Woodard.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 17:35 |
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Dalael posted:I'm willing to bet he'd be a vegan, touting how in the good old days of the republic real virtuous man wouldn't dream of eating meat. Other way around: He'd be the kind berating everyone for decadent, self-centered, fashionable health diets instead of good, stout, old-fashioned traditional meat and boiled potatoes with absolutely no spices, sauces, or other flavorings. You paid HOW much for your organic artichoke dip, imported at great expense from foreign lands? Stuff!
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 18:54 |
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aphid_licker posted:Bring some fuckin cocoa beans. Everybody fuckin loves chocolate. Cocoa without sugar cane is fine but not gonna blow anyone's minds Potatoes, sugar cane, and either coffee or tea are my picks for crops that would revolutionize the Roman diet, though I'm not sure if any of them besides potatoes grow in Roman-controlled climates. I also assume sugar cane is domesticated and has way more sugar content than wild cane and I don't know if that process had been completed two thousand years ago and suspect it hadn't.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 19:03 |
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cheetah7071 posted:Cocoa without sugar cane is fine but not gonna blow anyone's minds Looks like tweaked out Romans is a no go.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 19:23 |
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i mean they had opium and it doesn't seem like a ton of people were that into it, or at least there doesn't seem to be much historical record of abuse or addiction to opiates afaik. dream big - dope tiberius to the guts with enough molly to send his rear end to mars and make sure he's locked away somewhere for the blue monday. now there's a counterfactual
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 19:28 |
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mycomancy posted:
Looks like tea does just fine though:
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 19:31 |
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cheetah7071 posted:Does antibiotic resistance even mean anything if you unleash it on a population without antibiotics Hieronymous Alloy posted:I'm an American so I am already. We all live on top of thousands of years of ancient Indian burial grounds. cheetah7071 posted:Potatoes, sugar cane, and either coffee or tea are my picks for crops that would revolutionize the Roman diet, though I'm not sure if any of them besides potatoes grow in Roman-controlled climates. I also assume sugar cane is domesticated and has way more sugar content than wild cane and I don't know if that process had been completed two thousand years ago and suspect it hadn't.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 19:33 |
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Don't forget about tomatoes and new world peppers. Those really revolutionized flavors throughout the old world.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 19:36 |
CoolCab posted:i mean they had opium and it doesn't seem like a ton of people were that into it, or at least there doesn't seem to be much historical record of abuse or addiction to opiates afaik. It seems like the use of opium was completely normalized though. Pliny the Elder talks about how romans grew it in their kitchen gardens and the state regulated the prize so that everyone could afford it. Alhazred fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Jun 22, 2018 |
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 19:37 |
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Modern beehives, so you don't have to destroy the hive to get the honey? The Romans were really big on augury - fortune telling with birds. Did they know about parrots? Be pretty wild to get your fortune told by a bird, at least until your fortune is "*squawk* Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo!"
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 19:49 |
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Rockopolis posted:Did they know about parrots? Be pretty wild to get your fortune told by a bird, at least until your fortune is "*squawk* Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo!" Romans knew about parrots, and rich Romans kept them as pets. Alexander the Great had brought a species now known as the Alexandrian Parakeet to the Mediterranean from India.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 20:15 |
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There's a great story about talking birds being trained to say "hail Caesar, victor imperator" in this video. People have complained about the guy's voice so fair warning but the story itself is hilarious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDh2zGgVZzM&t=17s
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 20:18 |
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Epicurius posted:Romans knew about parrots, and rich Romans kept them as pets. Alexander the Great had brought a species now known as the Alexandrian Parakeet to the Mediterranean from India. But an Indian ringneck is way too spoopy to have hanging around in the background, compared to a green-cheeked conure. Edit: They had mynahs, and I presume they had lovebirds, but I can't find any depictions of lovebirds in Roman art. Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 20:51 on Jun 22, 2018 |
# ? Jun 22, 2018 20:38 |
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SlothfulCobra posted:Don't forget about tomatoes and new world peppers. Those really revolutionized flavors throughout the old world. Sure I'll just chow down on this nightshade you lunatic
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 21:10 |
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Didn't the romans use hallucinatory dope fish?
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 22:55 |
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Halloween Jack posted:Isn't it already established that Cato the Younger would be a guy who runs for office dressed like Ben Franklin? X WoodrowSkillson posted:Ehhhh Cato also walked the walk. He was not a hypocrite, and he was often "right".
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 23:28 |
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mycomancy posted:
Not totally impossible, they sailed about that far round west Africa. Give them a reason to and I could see them settling on the coast Edit: not sure I buy the tea map though. Siberia?the Arctic circle? Really? feedmegin fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Jun 22, 2018 |
# ? Jun 22, 2018 23:47 |
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feedmegin posted:Edit: not sure I buy the tea map though. Siberia?the Arctic circle? Really? Tea is about humidity and seasonal temps. It's why tea grows best in higher altitudes where cloud cover hits just right. I'm assuming that the map just works for some of the mountain ranges in russia.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 23:56 |
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feedmegin posted:Not totally impossible, they sailed about that far round west Africa. Give them a reason to and I could see them settling on the coast The tea map just highlights countries that grow tea, so the Russian Caucasus tea plantations fill in everything up to Novaya Zemlya.
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# ? Jun 22, 2018 23:57 |
Commercial plants are probably a no go anyway -- you'd need a prohibitive volume in order to create a market in the first place etc. The real gig? Import Roman Silphium to the present!
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# ? Jun 23, 2018 00:00 |
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The climate of modern North Africa is probably relatively too harsh to support it unfortunately. I guess you could try some kind of fancy hydroponic setup.
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# ? Jun 23, 2018 00:08 |
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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:23 |
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Why is the coast on the tip of western Africa so historically insignificant anyways? So far as I know, Rome never tried to extend its dominion much further south, and the big west African powers chose to use trans-saharan trading routes instead of ships for most of their trade. Does the Sahara just meet the coast with no livable region in between?
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# ? Jun 23, 2018 00:31 |