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Yep, developing a Rep for being a reliable straight up operator will open doors in the future and give us bargaining power as the various chuds in power in various kingdoms come to realize we don't take advantage of you even if you're practically begging for it.
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Jul 4, 2018 19:50
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 14:48 |
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Outrail posted:Yep, developing a Rep for being a reliable straight up operator will open doors in the future and give us bargaining power as the various chuds in power in various kingdoms come to realize we don't take advantage of you even if you're practically begging for it.  Reputation > cash. Why steal a few hundred gold when a good reference can add ten times that to our next fee?Also hard no on ganking the hero.
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Jul 4, 2018 20:24
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Unrelated, I'd kind of like to help out King Suicide next contract. I want to know what his deal is.
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Jul 4, 2018 20:28
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A - Make frankenstein puppets out of the corpses and give them an impressive water elemental boss. Don’t sacrifice minions. Take 60% Make the hero look good: all the puppets explode when they take out the boss to keep their casualties low. Let’s not risk upsetting the customer. We need those perfect five star ratings to keep rolling in so we can demand premium prices and bigger jobs. Once that starts to plateau we can consider secretly hijacking a kingdom and using it to take over the world.
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Jul 4, 2018 22:39
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1A) Create giant amphibious eels to defend the castle. It's simple and effective and an efficient use of available resources. Add an imposing water elemental to the center of it all under our remote control, and make it look like the whole place was a water god summoning gone wrong. Make the intended "Hero" think he's slain a god. 2B) Leave exactly the amount taken from our employers' shipments, or 35%, whichever is lower.
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Jul 5, 2018 00:05
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Prince of Space posted:1A) Create giant amphibious eels to defend the castle. It's simple and effective and an efficient use of available resources. Add an imposing water elemental to the center of it all under our remote control, and make it look like the whole place was a water god summoning gone wrong. Make the intended "Hero" think he's slain a god. This, also I suggest the name Bodkin Eels for our hardheaded new creations, for their armour piercing capability (and seeinf as they turned out not to be Buttdriver Eels)
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Jul 5, 2018 00:09
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Hexenritter posted:(and seeinf as they turned out not to be Buttdriver Eels) And praise Xenu for that.
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Jul 5, 2018 00:23
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dont be mean to me posted:And praise Xenu for that. Indeed, those things need to be shipped to another galaxy in Douglas DC4s, dropped in volcanos and nuked into
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Jul 5, 2018 00:28
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Creative options aside being fun and amusing, you DO NOT gently caress WITH A CONTRACT if you want such a social construct to have meaning in the future. We lucked out and got a sweet toy and some taxes. Next job could be way worse. I'm fine loving over an NPC, but for good reason and in character. Lets turn half eels into horribly bulky terror beasts and keep the other half for ourselves. Buff the stuff we leave behind. Transmute-whatever-a-doodle-ourselves to be albe to quietly direct our dudes from a distance to do a running retreat and the heroes bust through and save the day/take the fort. ALSO. We should propose that whatever force is to assault the Isle be seen to pay at least the normal toll (to be returned or deducted from expenses etc.) so it seems above bar as it were.
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Jul 5, 2018 03:47
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Outrail posted:This, but the humanoid form should have a wierd nonwater skull/brain weak point. At some point in the battle have the water thing envelop the hero and stick a babblefish type thing we've mutated into his sinuses so we can whisper to him in his sleep/kill him remotely later when he's a full fledged hero. Always be scheming Sounds good!
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Jul 5, 2018 06:56
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A, A, Babelfish of temptation. Uphold our word, all of it, make sure not to exceed the agreed losses. That said, with the losses, convert rather than kill, maybe? Could be tricky to pull off, but 'Your former masters intended for you to die here but I am a far more gracious employer' is a good angle. Maybe turn them into inert water elementals and siphon them off to safety underwater.
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Jul 5, 2018 07:35
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Controlling the losses should be fairly easy. Showy water effects that leave them half-drowned but don't kill 'em should do the job. Seconding the idea of a load-bearing boss. Making their attack look good just helps both of us, and keeps our own exposure at a minimum. We're very close to undulating away with a serious trident-shaped windfall. I do suggest that we leave the artifact, or at least sink it deep and come back for it later. The elves know it went there, it could blow our cover if they come looking or it turns up elsewhere. Give it some plausible deniability, so we can research what it might be in safety and fence it once the heat's off. 
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Jul 5, 2018 07:41
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Joke option: leave ONLY the piece of wood.
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Jul 5, 2018 07:45
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Our mine spews out 250 a week. We're thinking of breaking contract over, at maximum, three months passive earnings 
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Jul 5, 2018 13:00
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A A A deal is a deal is a deal.
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Jul 5, 2018 13:09
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I'm kind of disappointed that the Elves aren't sending, like, a hovercraft to get the artifact back. We could ask them how to say "My hovercraft is full of eels!" in Elvish.
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Jul 5, 2018 13:49
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Send the elves a glass jar full of super termites and sawdust with 'LOL' painted on the side.
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Jul 5, 2018 15:40
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Splicer posted:Our mine spews out 250 a week. We're thinking of breaking contract over, at maximum, three months passive earnings What contract are we breaking? We never made or signed a contract for splitting the loot 50/50 - that's an idea that we came up with to pacify our employers because they weren't happy with losing shipments. So long as they get more than 50% of their lost shipments back, they'll be happy to get an amazing fortress out of the transaction.
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Jul 5, 2018 18:06
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Prince of Space posted:What contract are we breaking? Splicer fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Jul 5, 2018 |
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Jul 5, 2018 18:47
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Splicer posted:You're right, not a contract, but an agreement. An agreement we should honour. We're evil, but not a liar. We've made out like bandits here, turned one revenue stream into multiple and got a sweet magic trident. No need to get greedy now.
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Jul 5, 2018 18:57
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 Handover battle. ”Minions! We are Leaving” Sarga shouts down the corridors of the castle. ”Pack anything you want to keep and take most of the gold and leave them their share in the goods.” She doesn’t even wait for a reply before moving down to the shore. A quick spell later and she has pulled several eels from the water. They try and attack her through the bubble of water she raises from the sea, but the magic holds them in. They heads have taken on a sharp appearance, and she decides to call the Bodkin Eels. She puts a few into a transport container and moves the rest to her labs. There she uses Bad Tidings and the water to cast a spell. The eels won’t last long outside the water, but with a bit of summoning, a water elemental is chained to the seawater. It’s fascinating to watch the all take on humanoid form, then the elemental realise that its new body is writhing with angry, hungry killer eels. Elementals were strange beings, they could be summoned and focused as Sarga had just done, but they tended to be found just inhabiting the area around their chosen element. They had limited intelligence, but disliked being bound into a form. ”I shall call you and Eelimental.” She says, more to herself than anyone else, then ducks as a eel is shot in her direction. ”Down! I have one battle for you, then you will be released, kill me and you will be stuck like this for eternity!” The writhing wall of eels and water takes on a sullen poise. Sarga nods before continiuing. ”Good. You will fight a battle for me, but you will go down easily. This will not be hard.” The fleet is seen a few days later. They are flying their banners and coming on in a spectral wind. The ships are close together, and the decks lined with troops. Sarga takes signals her minions to leave and then prepares for the show. Hitting the ships with waves that break just before they crush them is easy. The men on the decks get nice and wet, but there is no damage to the ships - there are mages on the decks going through the motions, but she can tell they are using no power after the first wave breaks harmlessly. As they approach the docks they move through the safe water, but the mages actually have to do something to fend off the occasional Bodkin Eel that tries to smash its way through the hull, but none of the ships take much damage, and they hit the quay and begin to disgorge their troops. The Eelimental makes its entrance earlier than Sarga would have liked- the Elemental obviously wanting to get the solid form part over so it could go back to being a spirit in potentia. The doors of the keep are blown apart with a torrent of water and eels. On the docks, Sarga can see a tall man in armour who she assumes is the prince. He readies his sword and shield, and prepares to fight. Sarga turns to leave, her work here is done. Then the wall of flame slams into the castle, and she is thrown to the ground. She staggers up, first degree burns on her body, and looks over the parapet. Below, the troops are beginning to advance. The Eelimental is nothing more than a few bits of overcooked eel, and the courtyard has pockets of flame. She looks at the man, and notices an older man beside him. ”Creature.” a voice booms out. ”We know you are still here, you will find we are not distracted by your party tricks. You will also find I am blocking your teleportation spell. I am Havar the Almighty, Hero of the realm. And I have been sent here to end you!” Sargas stomachs sank. This was what every dungeon master dreaded. Betrayal. Do we A - Try and swim for it B - Try and counterspell his blocking spell. C - FIGHT! D - Surrender! E - Hide. Oh dear, it looks like our employers are being a bit tight fisted with the old cash. We don’t have access to the Manawell, as it is to large to carry into combat, and we’re a bit low on mana - though still nearly twice what we had before creating Bad Tidings! quote:Mana = 80/450 1 Large Manawell 328/1000
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Jul 9, 2018 11:11
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We raised this castle we can loving unraise it. Get to the manawell and see how well Mr Plate Armour can swim. Send all the air-breathing minions out the backdoor-turned-escape-tunnel first.
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Jul 9, 2018 11:21
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Challenge him to single combat and kill/convert the hero. Destroy all ships with bad tidings so they are trapped on the artificial island. Begin converting their mages into mind flayer creatures. Give the rest the choice, convert or swim for it. Put the old man in a life boat to tell people what he witnessed and live with his shame. Set the sting rays about stealthily helping us at each step along the way. If we die, whoever killed us will claim bad tidings as their trophy and we can begin corruption.
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Jul 9, 2018 12:14
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D. Shout back "These aren't the terms your representative agreed on for our surrender." If they want to screw us over, we should reveal as much of their plans as possible without violating the terms of the contract. Make it sound like we were going to leave anyway and offered to sell it to them in a peaceful transfer of power, but they refused to take it without a semi-fake battle that killed a fifth of their troops to hide the fact they were negotiating with monsters.
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Jul 9, 2018 12:40
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"Do you want me to trigger the self-destruct? Because it sounds like you want me to trigger the self destruct."
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Jul 9, 2018 13:13
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"You are in violation of a formal contract. The penalty clauses are now in effect. You may surrender and abide by the terms or you may drown." We fight. Flood the island with a vertical waterspout. We don't teleport then they don't breathe.
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Jul 9, 2018 13:24
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AJ_Impy posted:"You are in violation of a formal contract. The penalty clauses are now in effect. You may surrender and abide by the terms or you may drown." I like this, also I'm a bit miffed as to why we're still here I always thought the plan was to leave expendable fighters with a big monster and be back home safe and sound before they actually made land.
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Jul 9, 2018 13:30
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AJ_Impy posted:"You are in violation of a formal contract. The penalty clauses are now in effect. You may surrender and abide by the terms or you may drown." This sounds like a violation of the contract to me. That being said, this is exactly why we built a secret entrance in the basement. Get there. Get out. Then drown the entire castle. Tomorrow offer to sell it to their rivals.
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Jul 9, 2018 14:45
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AJ_Impy posted:"You are in violation of a formal contract. The penalty clauses are now in effect. You may surrender and abide by the terms or you may drown."
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Jul 9, 2018 15:07
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Guys. The contract only specified that the fortress had to fall to them. It never mentioned that we get out alive as part of the deal.Grey Hunter posted:
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Jul 9, 2018 15:19
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IcePhoenix posted:Guys. The contract only specified that the fortress had to fall to them. It never mentioned that we get out alive as part of the deal. Grab everything we can, get the beavers out through the back door, swim home. Once they're settled in return to nuke the place and fill the channel with whirlpools.
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Jul 9, 2018 15:26
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Splicer posted:lol we got played. Also if we don't let the castle fall to them we're in violation. Welp. Let's get out.
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Jul 9, 2018 15:51
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Splicer posted:lol we got played. Also if we don't let the castle fall to them we're in violation. Lol, they want to play games with us. Everyone out the back door, flee back to the dark Isle. Report to everyone we legally can that they screwed us, the'll be blacklisted for this. Now we return and gently caress their day. Nothing in the contract said what we had or had not to do AFTER the isle has fallen.
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Jul 9, 2018 16:03
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Outrail posted:Lol, they want to play games with us. That's smarter. Plan Outrail.
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Jul 9, 2018 16:09
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Outrail posted:Lol, they want to play games with us. This Besides, we wouldn't be a proper villain without a 1st act escape!
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Jul 9, 2018 16:13
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Splicer posted:lol we got played. Also if we don't let the castle fall to them we're in violation. They are no longer offering us the money, thus they are in violation.
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Jul 9, 2018 16:15
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The mind boggling thing is we were going to leave anyway. They're risking lives for petty revenge when they could just walk away with a win (we'll, have us walk away with a win). Also, if we flee (to plot our revenge) we are still contractually owed payment. And we have the full resources of the dark isle behind us to get it paid in full. And I'm guessing the one thing an evil, massively powerful contractor conglomerate/union really, really (really, really) hates is clients who don't pay up or try and weasel out of paying up. Let's ask the dark isle for additional resources in order to send a message. The dumb dumbs didn't betray us, they spat in the eye of unionized evil.
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Jul 9, 2018 16:18
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Plan Outrail
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Jul 9, 2018 16:25
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I agree, let's be the better
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Jul 9, 2018 16:28
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AJ_Impy posted:They are no longer offering us the money, thus they are in violation. Plan Outrail, but give them a few hours to pay us after we leave but before we drown them all and auction it off. If they don't pay, then they're in violation and all sorts of fun starts happening.
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Jul 9, 2018 16:36
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