Burger Thread II: Hold me Closer Tiny Smashburg

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > Burger Thread II: Hold me Closer Tiny Smashburg

Big Willy Style: Feb 11, 2007; How many Astartes do you know that roll like this?

Had a date and cooked burgers and tried out that cold oil chip technique that I think was discussed earlier in this thread that old mate couldn't accept as a valid technique.

250g grass fed beef patty, smoked cheddar cheese slice, smoked bacon, beetroot, charred onion, egg, lettuce, tomato on a turkish roll. It was a big burger.

Big Willy Style fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Jul 3, 2018

# ? Jul 3, 2018 03:09

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 01:49

Suxpool: Nov 20, 2002; I want something good to die for...to make it beautiful to live

Torquemada posted:

Uhhhhhhh. I just had my first Shake Shack, and I won�t be having another. I mean, Five Guys ain�t all that, but this was worse in every respect. Insignificant bun, cold meat and cheese, no seasoning options, �Fifty/Fifty� drink billed as �half lemonade half iced tea� was the bad halves of those things, both sour and bitter and no sweet at all. The place looked like a re-gentrified McDonalds, smelled freshly bleached, had twenty staff just kind of ambling around pointlessly. Maybe it�s just London, but my Five Guys experiences have ranged from acceptable to good here, so I�ll just conclude they suck.

Steakandchips posted:

I 100% agree with your review of Shake Shack. My experience of the one at Canary Wharf was exactly as you described, down to the bleach and aimless staff and crap burger.

Even the chips were poo poo.

wow nah shake shack is good as hell in the colonies. idk what's going on in london

# ? Jul 3, 2018 03:34

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

Rodeo Goat was great when I was in Texas in 2014. I also did like Jake's and this other place that I can't remember but was like a redneck bar (not Redneck Heaven). Whattaburger is dope. In and Out was there too.

# ? Jul 3, 2018 04:10

iajanus: Aug 17, 2004; NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE

Big Willy Style posted:

Had a date and cooked burgers and tried out that cold oil chip technique that I think was discussed earlier in this thread that old mate couldn't accept as a valid technique.

250g grass fed beef patty, smoked cheddar cheese slice, smoked bacon, beetroot, charred onion, egg, lettuce, tomato on a turkish roll. It was a big burger.

I'll reserve my judgement of this being an incredible looking meal until you confirm the egg is runny af

# ? Jul 3, 2018 04:41

Bogart: Apr 12, 2010; by VideoGames

I think I've voiced this opinion before but the best thing at Shake Shack is the burger and fried mushroom burger thing, and their variety of drinks and desserts. Their fries are decidedly low-tier.

# ? Jul 3, 2018 05:35

Torquemada: Oct 21, 2010; Drei GlÃ¤ser

Fry failure is common, I find, like restaurant coffee. The general range is crap -> serviceable, but you occasionally get a great one that elevates the whole experience.
Had my 4th or 5th burger from a 3 outlet chain called Beer+Burger last night: the burgers are pro tier smashes, outrageous cheese sauce and bacon, ludicrous bun, great pickles (which is very rare in the UK)excellent beer selection, and delivery under 20 minutes. Fries? Total rear end. Though in their defence they do a really good mac and cheese ball with chipotle sauce.

# ? Jul 3, 2018 08:47

Big Willy Style: Feb 11, 2007; How many Astartes do you know that roll like this?

iajanus posted:

I'll reserve my judgement of this being an incredible looking meal until you confirm the egg is runny af

Egg was runny, brother

# ? Jul 3, 2018 23:00

iajanus: Aug 17, 2004; NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE

Big Willy Style posted:

Egg was runny, brother

Good man

# ? Jul 4, 2018 23:26

His Divine Shadow: Aug 7, 2000; I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

This fry talk reminds me that I've waited since may for my order for some suet, turns out they got some issues getting it unless I wanna pay extra, which I don't. Want some suet so I can render it into tallow and make some old school pre-1990s McDonalds fries.

# ? Jul 5, 2018 07:42

Torquemada: Oct 21, 2010; Drei GlÃ¤ser

I�d recommend a mix of 50/50 tallow/peanut oil if you�re cooking a lot of fries, tallow seems to get �muddy� quicker than oil.

# ? Jul 5, 2018 08:27

beerinator: Feb 21, 2003

The West Coast Griddle Burger from Ballast Point brewpub in Chicago.

# ? Jul 5, 2018 15:14

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

I like it.

# ? Jul 5, 2018 21:38

kloa: Feb 14, 2007

beerinator posted:

The West Coast Griddle Burger from Ballast Point brewpub in Chicago.

whoa mama

# ? Jul 5, 2018 22:50

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

beerinator posted:

The West Coast Griddle Burger from Ballast Point brewpub in Chicago.

gently caress

# ? Jul 5, 2018 23:27

Ultimate Mango: Jan 18, 2005

Why the gently caress doesn�t ballast point have these burgers on the actual west coast?

# ? Jul 11, 2018 05:42

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Big Willy Style posted:

Had a date and cooked burgers and tried out that cold oil chip technique that I think was discussed earlier in this thread that old mate couldn't accept as a valid technique.

250g grass fed beef patty, smoked cheddar cheese slice, smoked bacon, beetroot, charred onion, egg, lettuce, tomato on a turkish roll. It was a big burger.

Gat dang

# ? Jul 11, 2018 05:50

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

# ? Jul 13, 2018 20:38

Jamsta: Dec 16, 2006; Oh you want some too? Fuck you!

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

One tasty lookin spunkburger! Good work sir!

# ? Jul 13, 2018 21:27

VERTiG0: Jul 11, 2001; go move over bro

Did you pour a small bowl of nutt all over that burger

# ? Jul 13, 2018 21:28

Leal: Oct 2, 2009

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

# ? Jul 13, 2018 21:30

Flash Gordon Ramsay: Sep 28, 2004; Grimey Drawer

VERTiG0 posted:

Did you pour a small bowl of nutt all over that burger

A small bowl? Slow down there, Peter North.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 21:36

SymmetryrtemmyS: Jul 13, 2013; I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg

Y’all need to get to a doctor if your nut looks like that

I'd eat the spunkburger, though.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 21:56

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I'll be honest, not a single one of those pictures was appetizing, but I'd still eat that poo poo.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 21:58

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

Spunkburger was good. Not pictured: bbq sauce all over the butter sauteed onion crispies.

# ? Jul 16, 2018 04:18

Casu Marzu: Oct 20, 2008

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

Spunkburger

# ? Jul 16, 2018 04:46

Blotto Skorzany: Nov 7, 2008; He's a PSoC, loose and runnin'
came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with
the bad ADC on his chip
bad ADC on his chiiiiip

His Divine Shadow posted:

This fry talk reminds me that I've waited since may for my order for some suet, turns out they got some issues getting it unless I wanna pay extra, which I don't. Want some suet so I can render it into tallow and make some old school pre-1990s McDonalds fries.

If you decide to render your own tallow, do it outside to avoid the wrath of your wife/gf/SO.

Incidentally, you can just buy beef tallow. It's reasonably priced and typically comes in 1 quart containers. I use it for soapmaking, but the stuff the soap supply stores sell is food grade/edible and tastes fine.

Finally, if you know anybody who hunts deer, ask them to save both the true suet and the lacy fat in the abdominal cavity in a gallon ziploc for you. A lot of folks toss it out because they superstitiously think it doesn't taste good (part of this myth comes from confusion with intramuscular fat, which will sometimes taste gamey, depending on the deer's age, diet, and what was done with the carcass after field dressing), but in fact it tastes as good as anything as long as you get it cold in a reasonable timeframe and then render it down.

# ? Jul 16, 2018 18:52

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

# ? Jul 18, 2018 04:27

Control Volume: Dec 31, 2008

Also I highly recommend mixing ghost pepper sauce with honey mustard

# ? Jul 18, 2018 04:31

ogopogo: Jul 16, 2006; Remember: no matter where you go, there you are.

Made a bunch of smashburgs for a friends backyard pool party. I worked at In-n-Out in high school like, 15 years ago and wrapping a burger in pamona wrap came back as fluid and easy as though I hadn't missed a day. They were tasty burgs - American cheese on the top patty, cheddar on the bottom patty. There's some onion in there too.

# ? Jul 18, 2018 20:10

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

ogopogo posted:

Made a bunch of smashburgs for a friends backyard pool party. I worked at In-n-Out in high school like, 15 years ago and wrapping a burger in pamona wrap came back as fluid and easy as though I hadn't missed a day. They were tasty burgs - American cheese on the top patty, cheddar on the bottom patty. There's some onion in there too.

Double burg with distinct cheeses on each patty. That's the sort of simple genius that inspires me.

# ? Jul 18, 2018 20:46

Gwaihir: Dec 8, 2009; Hair Elf

ogopogo posted:

Made a bunch of smashburgs for a friends backyard pool party. I worked at In-n-Out in high school like, 15 years ago and wrapping a burger in pamona wrap came back as fluid and easy as though I hadn't missed a day. They were tasty burgs - American cheese on the top patty, cheddar on the bottom patty. There's some onion in there too.

Flawless burg perfection, right here.

# ? Jul 18, 2018 21:01

Bald Stalin: Jul 11, 2004; Our posts

Gwaihir posted:

Flawless burg perfection, right here.

Yes, this burger definitely isn't flawed perfection.

# ? Jul 18, 2018 21:10

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

ogopogo posted:

Made a bunch of smashburgs for a friends backyard pool party. I worked at In-n-Out in high school like, 15 years ago and wrapping a burger in pamona wrap came back as fluid and easy as though I hadn't missed a day. They were tasty burgs - American cheese on the top patty, cheddar on the bottom patty. There's some onion in there too.