Desert Storm Trading Cards!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Desert Storm Trading Cards!

Vato: Jan 14, 2018

Gutter Phoenix posted:

Look at this exciting website dedicated to Desert Storm trading cards!

http://www.desertstormcards.com/

According to that site, there are at least nine different collections are Desert Storm trading cards in addition to the three series released by Topps. Which is the right Desert Storm trading card set for you? Only one way to find out!!

I bought them already. Sorry.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 23:59

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# ? May 4, 2024 19:18

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #9

This pack marks the quarter-way point. What better way to celebrate than with a 4th Colin Powell/ Dick Cheney card?

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:01

Vato: Jan 14, 2018

These are terrifying and terrific. But mostly very scary.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:05

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #10

I apologize for the blurry picture, but I was super loving excited to share this card:

I'm gonna get a nice warm sack of Desert Drink�, put on my Chocolate Chip and do a Quick Turn Burn as soon as I'm done getting a Hummer in the Trenches. It's 1991 and my future is so bright I'm going blind!!

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:10

Vato: Jan 14, 2018

Gutter Phoenix posted:

Pack #10

I apologize for the blurry picture, but I was super loving excited to share this card:

I'm gonna get a nice warm sack of Desert Drink�, put on my Chocolate Chip and do a Quick Turn Burn as soon as I'm done getting a Hummer in the Trenches. It's 1991 and my future is so bright I'm going blind!!

This is intense.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:12

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #11

I think we've seen all of these before, but I'm glad to have a second Desert Storm Slang card so I can keep one in my wallet in case of emergency.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:15

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

Bomb's-Eye View

gently caress

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:16

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Savage For The Winjun posted:

This was an age of sandbox type games actually gamers weren't restricted to classes like tank or caster. Pre 9.11 gaming ruled

this was early 1991, the 90's pen-and-paper rpg gaming heyday still wasn't a thing - obviously there were more open systems like GURPS and Hero System around, but this was also the height of AD&D 2E and Palladium

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:19

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

How much money do you think the DoD gave Topps to publish these?

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:21

Vato: Jan 14, 2018

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

How much money do you think the DoD gave Topps to publish these?

Baseball, apple pie, etc.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:25

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #12

To celebrate the 1/3 point, we get a "Stormin' Norman" Schwarzkopf card, a stealth fighter (the F-35 of its day), and a United Nations sticker! I'm going to stick this on my car to show my allegiance to my Bohemian Grove Lizard Jew Illuminati Overlords (peace be upon them).

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:29

Vato: Jan 14, 2018

Gutter Phoenix posted:

To celebrate the 1/3 point, we get a "Stormin' Norman" Schwarzkopf card, a stealth fighter (the F-35 of its day), and a United Nations sticker! I'm going to stick this on my car to show my allegiance to my Bohemian Grove Lizard Jew Illuminati Overlords (peace be upon them).

You do that and the cards will wear off, and then you'll just have sticky...you know.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:33

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #13

That paratrooper card reminds me of the beginning of the 1984 classic Red Dawn where the Soviets land in rural Colorado because the movie apparently took place in an alternate universe where Russia didn't already contain vast expanses of cold, lovely, empty space.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu3FRRXqazw

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:38

Vato: Jan 14, 2018

"Come and see" is a movie I would like to see, but it seems both scary and un-seeable.

Which is good because what I've read about it has lead me to believe it's about atomic devastation. And who wants to see that?

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:42

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

General Yo Socks seems like a chill guy.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 00:57

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #14

Fun Fact: The Aardvark is known as Nature's Deathbringer�

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:03

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:06

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Looks a bit asymmetric.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:07

FistEnergy: Nov 3, 2000; DAY CREW: WORKING HARD; Fun Shoe

Blessed Thread

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:29

awyeahz: Aug 21, 2005; ~*~BeDtImE~4~B0NZ0~*~

Vato posted:

"Come and see" is a movie I would like to see, but it seems both scary and un-seeable.

Which is good because what I've read about it has lead me to believe it's about atomic devastation. And who wants to see that?

the whole thing is on youtube. its the kind of movie you want to watch exactly once

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:30

Raldikuk: Apr 7, 2006; I'm bad with money and I want that meatball!

Hmm every time we draw a Powell/Cheney we also pull a USS Wisconsin. 4 for 4 on that so far.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:31

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #15

Pack #16

Pack #17

drat you Saddam Hussein, you dastardly fiend!!

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:32

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

We're halfway there!

Pack #18

Phantom Warthog would be a cool name for a Motorhead cover band.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:35

Vato: Jan 14, 2018

Gutter Phoenix posted:

Oil or whatever you want.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:36

free hubcaps: Oct 12, 2009

the harrier is the only card so far ive seen that represents the wider coalition, i wonder if there�s a dassault hiding somewhere in one of the future packs

you should post a close up of the checklist card op so we can keep track

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:51

explosivo: May 23, 2004; Fueled by Satan

Holy poo poo I remember having a pack of these cards growing up. I don't remember anything about it other than the display box so I appreciate what you're doing here! :cheers:

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:56

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Nah, that's probably a USMC Harrier. I don't think the RN or RAF ever flew the AV-8B model

# ? Aug 4, 2018 01:59

OB-GYN Kenobi: Dec 4, 2017

Gutter Phoenix posted:

Phantom Warthog would be a cool name for a Motorhead cover band.

Or my penis. Built like a beast, never been seen by another human.

Solid thread Gutter!

# ? Aug 4, 2018 02:00

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Thanks for the content op. Sticky.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 02:35

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

free hubcaps posted:

the harrier is the only card so far ive seen that represents the wider coalition, i wonder if there�s a dassault hiding somewhere in one of the future packs

you should post a close up of the checklist card op so we can keep track

Heavily-armored Le Cars played a major strategic role in the war, although it had to be kept hush hush at the time and Topps wasn't allowed to spill the beans.

Here's the checklist:

# ? Aug 4, 2018 02:39

FistEnergy: Nov 3, 2000; DAY CREW: WORKING HARD; Fun Shoe

"off shore loading sight"

:thunk:

# ? Aug 4, 2018 02:46

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #19

Pack #20

Pack #21

Pack #22

Pack #23

# ? Aug 4, 2018 02:50

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

# ? Aug 4, 2018 02:52

OB-GYN Kenobi: Dec 4, 2017

You've got plenty of those checklists my man, use one up! I want to see a tally of where you at.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 02:57

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #24

We're 2/3 of the way through, and the USSR has finally made its presence known among the Coalition For Peace!

Drawn by the siren song of the soviets, a cat enters the picture.

Pack #25

I was playing with the cat and apparently didn't get a picture. Have this instead:

# ? Aug 4, 2018 03:06

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #26

Just workin' together, stoppin' the oil's flow...

Pack #27

Pack #28

Pack #29

In the future, whenever people inevitably ask me to write a 1,000 essay on the subject What Does America Mean To Me?, I will simply show them this picture.

# ? Aug 4, 2018 03:15

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #30

Pack #31

Pack #32

Pack #33

# ? Aug 4, 2018 03:20

Gutter Phoenix: Jul 23, 2013; I preferred your last avatar, so I put it back. My apologies to the pedo who purchased your last one (it's always projection).

Pack #34

Pack #35

Pack #36

And it all ends with the USA, as well it should.

But wait, there's more!

The backs of the stickers from the member nations of the Coalition For Peace form yet another coalition, except that this time its in the form of puzzle!!

The back of the UN card holds the key. It's all coming together, people. Wheels are turning. This means something.

One guy pointing a gun, one guy pointing a camera, and one guy pointing a finger. Looks like Freedom to me!!

# ? Aug 4, 2018 03:33

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

No drones. Voted 3

# ? Aug 4, 2018 03:37

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# ? May 4, 2024 19:18

free hubcaps: Oct 12, 2009

whoa

# ? Aug 4, 2018 03:45

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