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B Let's see what's available, both the legit and illegal jobs.
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Oct 4, 2018 14:31
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 12:23 |
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Visit the Dark Isle Cragslist
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Oct 4, 2018 17:02
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Guys we should also consider setting up something of a mutually beneficial alliance with other Dungeon Masters in our area. We're done some terrible poo poo (volcano), some ehhh things (Ents are Back) and some great stuff (Asherah) but we could use a poo poo's hosed Send Backup button. Maybe field some meetings with other elementally/environmentally themed baddies? Form a League of Extraordinary Villains LLC as it were. Most of the world is sea and everyone is made of water so we're on top, then you've got your rock/magma guy, your fire/metal savant, the plant/nature reverse hippie(our Fae hookup could help with this), the Bird/Sky fetishist etc. and so forth. Totally secret hush hush business mob style Family setup with regards to self interest. Poke the nest you get the Metallic Squidbees What Spit Lava and Inject Evil Bamboo Seeds With Their Sting.
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Oct 4, 2018 18:38
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Blasphemaster posted:Guys we should also consider setting up something of a mutually beneficial alliance with other Dungeon Masters in our area. We're done some terrible poo poo (volcano), some ehhh things (Ents are Back) and some great stuff (Asherah) but we could use a poo poo's hosed Send Backup button. +1
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Oct 4, 2018 20:41
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Are we allowed to set up a legit business front? Like Rent-A-Beaver for construction work?
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Oct 4, 2018 22:15
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Deadmeat5150 posted:Are we allowed to set up a legit business front? Like Rent-A-Beaver for construction work? You wouldn't be to blame for walking in that storefront looking for a whole other experience
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Oct 4, 2018 22:24
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No, sir you're looking for Smooch-a-Squid two doors down.
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Oct 4, 2018 22:30
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Not Alex posted:No, sir you're looking for Smooch-a-Squid two doors down.
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Oct 4, 2018 23:47
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A team of Super Friends? Sounds like we need to revisit the submissions from page one. 
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Oct 5, 2018 00:00
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I know a guy
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Oct 5, 2018 00:05
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Any minute now some shitwad going to suggest a 'design your own sex slave'. Oh.
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Oct 5, 2018 03:12
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Another great post from the robosexual squad
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Oct 5, 2018 04:09
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Volmarias posted:Another great post from the robosexual squad We're a dying breed.
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Oct 5, 2018 04:28
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God that was so long ago.
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Oct 5, 2018 08:32
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Outrail posted:Any minute now some shitwad going to suggest a 'design your own sex slave'. Splicer fucked around with this message at 08:42 on Oct 5, 2018 |
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Oct 5, 2018 08:40
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Splicer posted:Whoever fights shitwads should see to it that in the process he does not become a shitwad. And if you gaze too long into an abyss, you'll see someone trying to stick their dick in it. Beautiful
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Oct 5, 2018 19:34
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 The League of Villains. Sitting in the library, Sarga considered her options. She had the Faye as a backup, and Asherah was still spreading his religion far and wide. But she felt that she needed allies. She was now committed to the Sapphire Grotto as a home, and she needed to reach out to the nearby dungeon master and monsters to try and keep things civil - there was no point in tripping over each others tentacles was there! She sent messages to the three dungeonmaster's and two lairing monsters nearby. She got no response from the Brainworm commune, but she didn’t expect one - brainworms tended to be oddly isuular, living off the experiences of new hosts rather than meeting other people in the normal manner, but it always pays to be polite. The others agreed to meet, and Sarga rented a meeting hall on the Dark isle. She was the first to arrive, and she had the beavers lay out some food. They were terrible cooks however, and she wished she had sprung extra for a proper caterer. When she said chips, she should have added “not wood chips” The Dragon Raugh was the next to arrive, she took up a good portion of the hall, but managed to wedge herself in a way that her head lay next to the meeting table. ”I’m glad you could come Raugh!” Sarga said. ”Thank you for the invitation. I don’t get out as much as I used to, and Heroes have just stopped visiting recently. I had to keep the last poor fellow alive for weeks just so I have someone to talk to! But he wasn’t much interested in the coinage of ancient Almera.” ”Oh, you have no one with you?” ”Not now, the kids have grown up and moved off to their own desolations, the husband tried to kidnap on princess to many and met Lork the Unstoppable. Now Lork the Unstoppable Dragonslayer.” ”You’ve not been interested in dating?” ”No, I really should though.” The conversation was interupted by a high pitch noise from the doorway. ”Would whoevers FAT rear end this is please move it!” ”Oh, I am sorry!” Raugh says, moving her tail which had inadvertently blocked the door. ”You should be! You must have eaten a lot of halflings to get that fat!” the figure who entered was a gnome, and a cantagours one at that.  ”Ah you must be… Ifnkovhgroghprm” Sarga says. ”It’s pronounced Ifnkovhgroghprm” The Gnome retorts. ”It’s a common gnomish name, I have no idea why people have problems pronouncing it!” ”Hmm, I’ll let you off this time. I came here to see what you whippersnappes wanted, but I need to get back to my dungeon soon to remove a key bit of information from a library that will leave the local heroes going off after the wrong monster!” ”Oh” says Raugh. ”Is that why I occasionally get some very lost and irate adventurers arriving at my dungeon armed with garlic and stakes?” ”Yes!” xxx smiles. He has at least half his teeth. ”There is a overly melodramatic shutin of a vampire who lives twenty leagues the other way who pays me a healthy sum to keep sending him adventurers armed with dragonsbane weapons and fireproof shields.” ”Where do they get all that stuff?” Sarga asks. ”Why, off some kindly old hermit who sets them on their destiny!” The evil smil grows larger. A low trumpeting from the door causes all to look up.the mournful sound is but off when the zombie playing the trumpet’s head falls off. ”Dammit steve. Your showing me up.” says a voice, then a hulking man strides into the room.  ”Behold, Mallus the Undying, Lich Lord of the Crypt of Darn the Oppressor.” ”You look a bit chubby for a Lich boy.” Ifnkovhgroghprmsays. ”I’m pre-op! I’ll perform the ritual once I’m settled in.” ”Doesn't that just make you a necromancer?” Asks Sarga. ”NO! I am an all powerful Lich Lord! The Crypt of Darn the Oppressor swarms with my undead minions!” ”I hope they are better than crumbles over there!” Ifnkovhgroghprm smirks. ”They are! I just needed someone with mostly intact lungs to blow the trumpet.” ”Looks like your more than capable of blowing your own trumpet laddie!” Ifnkovhgroghprm comments, Sarga covers her face to hide the smile, and Raugh snorts a short spurt of fire. ”Humph. Look, I’m only here to foster good relations with my neighbours, I can leave if you want. My dungeon is plenty powerful on its own. Got the best spiked traps and undead minions around.” ”No! Stay! We should all talk. We are waiting on one more.” Sarga hurries to smooth the Lich’s feathers. ”Oh, but I’ve been here before you arrived.” a voice whispers in Sarga’s ears and causes her to jump. She spins around and sees only shadows. ”I’ve been watching and listening.” ”Shadowgrasp? I am sorry, I didn’t realise you were actually a shadow!” ”Oh, don’t worry, I get that all the time. I’m the byproduct of some mages attempt to distill pure darkness. I escaped, and now I live in Volm, a city to the south of your lair. I’m not that active in the evil circles, - I’m far to busy being the, huh, shadow government of a city state. It’s nice to take a break now and then, and now there are more lairs in the area, I suppose I should try and keep you all from destroying my puppets.” ”Well, now we are all here, we can begin!” Well, introducing these guys took longer than I though, so I may as well give you some options! 1 - What is the aim of this conference.? A - to form a binding alliance. B - to form a loose compact C - just to chat and get a few ground rules down. 2 - Do we have any requests from our neighbours? 3 - Do we have any questions? quote:Mana = 70/450
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Oct 9, 2018 09:40
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B. We basically want to, without going into too much detail, lay out any plans for the local areas and make sure we're not stepping on anyone's toes as we work through our own plans. We don't want to interrupt dudes lich ritual, we don't want to accidentally send real adventurers to the vampire den, etc. Just map out the area and see who is doing what where, see if there are any opportunities that anyone is better suited to to start turning B to A. We should invite the dragon to stay with us either way if she is lonely, we have plenty of people here for her to talk to.
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Oct 9, 2018 13:59
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B. We’re all pragmatists of one stripe or another, we should make sure we’re not treading on each other’s toes, maybe point out potential collaborations or opportunities, but largely we each have our own interests to attend to. Let’s work together as and when those interests coincide but give each other plenty of breathing room (Or unbreathing room as the case may be).
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Oct 9, 2018 14:11
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Nephzinho posted:
Please don't. It's going to drain our sanity and we'll pray for the sweet release of death. Pay someone from the local village to visit the dragon once a week as long as she promises not to eat them. Neglecting our elders and paying others to keep them company is a perfectly respectabily evil thing to do.
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Oct 9, 2018 15:09
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Volmarias posted:Please don't. It's going to drain our sanity and we'll pray for the sweet release of death. Dragons are good friends to have, just sayin.
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Oct 9, 2018 15:24
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B. I'm liking the suggestions so far. Establish mutually recognized boundaries, trade options, etc.
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Oct 9, 2018 15:51
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Volmarias posted:Please don't. It's going to drain our sanity and we'll pray for the sweet release of death. B, and I am fully in support of ripping off the plot of Dealing With Dragons. Find a nice, unhappy princess type who wants an internship learning some real skills and hanging out with a dragon. I'm sure Raugh has a lot of knowledge that could be passed on.
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Oct 9, 2018 16:24
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1 B 2 Pay the gnome to provide his misdirection services for us.
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Oct 9, 2018 16:37
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1 B Set up a girls' night with the dragon to cheer her up and foster a friendship
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Oct 9, 2018 17:11
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1B is definitely a thing. Evil works best when it isn't infighting too heavily, and a little respect for territory helps there. Making friends with Rargh would likely be good as well, as she likely has centuries of experience to learn from. Besides, I'm sure some of them may want renovations, and we -are- the best dungeon contractor in the region, with a crew who get bored when left to their own devices too long. 2 Paying the gnome for some misdirection would be great. We set up something that looks like a target but isn't the Grotto nearby, and they can be a nice cheap source of new bodies to play with. Creation needs materials after all, and we can offer the same disposal service to the Shadow.
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Oct 9, 2018 17:13
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Liquid Cannibalism posted:Besides, I'm sure some of them may want renovations, and we -are- the best dungeon contractor in the region, with a crew who get bored when left to their own devices too long. If any of them need work done, we should offer our services in exchange for favors. We've got good cashflow right now, favors and political power are going to be more useful in the long run.
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Oct 9, 2018 17:26
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I wonder if Asherah would get along well with a dragon
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Oct 9, 2018 18:25
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Gaslight the dragon to the point of loneliness induced suicide and trick him/her into becoming one of our subjects. Experimental subject, obviously.
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Oct 9, 2018 21:33
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If Raugh is lonley, suggest she offer a investment/mentorship service to up and coming villians? Provided they satisfy her requirements ofc It�d not only be social for her but potentially increase her hoard too She could call this program �Dragons Den� Everyone else could even get in on it if they want
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Oct 10, 2018 03:07
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Hehehe. Hahahahah. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. If dragons can shapeshift D&D Style, Asherah needs his Asherak. E. Or is that his mom. Forget. Meh. Hmmm in that case murder something frzgon themed. I dunno. Blasphemaster fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Oct 10, 2018 |
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Oct 10, 2018 03:16
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The talks. ”Now that we are all here, we can begin.” says Sarga. ”I’m not here to try and bind us into some form of unholy alliance, but it's good to know your neighbours and make sure your not stepping on their toes or sending them unwanted guests.” ”Oh, I don’t mind really.” Raugh puts in. ”Anyway, I think we can all agree to let each other know when we are planning something big - I for one intend to keep my lair secret, but I have a work crew that I don’t mind hiring out, and I’d be willing to pay for a steady stream of new bodies to add to my minion horde.” ”Lassie, I can guarantee you five people a month for a thousand. As long as Bigbutt here doesn’t mind losing her company.” Ifnkovhgroghprm says. ”Well, if they would be more use elsewhere… and I suppose my lair could use some renovation... ” Raugh replies, her voice showing she is tiring of the insults. ”Well, I can arrange that, and I can have some of my workers stay with you while they are doing the work.” ”Really? Then I think I may have quite a bit of work to do..” ”All I want is to be left alone.” said Shadowgrasp. ”Leave my city alone, and we should get on swimmingly.” ”Malus the Undying has no need of support from puny mortals, but will let you know once he has awoken Darn the Oppressor and is ready to spread his mighty undead horde across the globe. But do not send anyone into my lands, there are many terrible dangers. Many sharp traps.” The rest of the conference was mainly just dictating terms, and arranging communications. The Gnome kept insulting people, Malus made grander and less credulous claims about his powers, and Shadowgrasp said nothing except when it related to him. Once they broke up, Sarga indicated that Raugh should stay. ”A thoroughly dislikable lot, wouldn’t you say?” she asked the Dragon. ”Yes, but if evil people were nice people, then they would be good people, wouldn’t they!” She replied. ”Yes, but there is a difference between professional evil and just being a jerk. Look, if your lonely, your welcome to come over for a chat.” she paused and looked at the dragon taking up over half of the room. ”Or, you know I can come visit you, it might be more comfortable.” ”Oooh, that WOULD be nice.” Raugh replied. ”I do miss having someone to talk to.” Three months passed quickly. The Beavers got to work on the Dragons den, and Sarga actually became friends with the Dragon - She and her husband had been real terrors before they decided to settle down and raise a family. Now she was just stuck in a rut - she didn’t want to go and randomly raid, her horde was big enough that she had a nice comfortable room - even after spending five grand on having the place touched up. ”Why don’t you find some work?” Sarga asked her one night, ”There’s not much call for rampaging dragons nowadays. Prince and Princesses are much more useful as bargaining chips for marriages, and when the hero rescues one from a dragon, it doesn’t tend to end well for the dragon. I could take some jobs to burn places down, but again, it’s risky. ” The Gnome was good to his word, and fifteen knew beavers were added to the holt over the time. They were very confused when their anti dragon and vampire gear was useless against aquatic monsters. The Sapphire Grotto was thriving now, there was a shopping area, and a few of them had even started up a small theater. The plays were terrible, but at least everyone got a good laugh. Once she had made sure none of the other local evildoers were going to backstab her, Sarga once again wondered what to do. You know the drill! A - Personal Quest! B - Visit the job board! quote:Mana = 450/450
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Oct 10, 2018 15:05
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B Let's look at both boards before we decide on anything. It's been a few months something fun may have popped up.
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Oct 10, 2018 15:10
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B. We may even be able to include our new friend Raugh in a big project. That'll help her shake her funk.
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Oct 10, 2018 15:27
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SHADOW BOARD
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Oct 10, 2018 17:34
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B. Normal board.
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Oct 10, 2018 23:37
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How are our two non-god minions doing? They haven't been given much to do, are they feeling satisfied and loyal and all that good stuff?
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Oct 11, 2018 00:23
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The gnome sent us heros armed with anti vampire gear? How did our vampire squid manage?
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Oct 11, 2018 00:40
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Outrail posted:The gnome sent us heros armed with anti vampire gear? How did our vampire squid manage? That's a good question. They are super hood ambushers though.
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Oct 11, 2018 00:51
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Board Hero Training Dungeon See if Dragon Lady is interested in some anti-aging treatments/becoming a water-dragon. Chat up Malus. Like, psychic sending "U up?". If only because I want to see him get distressed over the potential loss of certain fleshy bits that have suddenly become very important to him.
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Oct 11, 2018 03:26
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