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Honestly it was better than any orgasm has a right to be. Been holding it back all night, and even if the total coward bailed with a fake emergency text (his dog was barfing!) he still got a show. I could do worse for a first date.
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Dec 1, 2018 01:37
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Arcsquad12 posted:Please tell me someone has contacted child services 
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Dec 1, 2018 01:55
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Once I finished laughing 10 minutes later, I'd've tried to set up another date. 
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Dec 1, 2018 01:56
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Arcsquad12 posted:Please tell me someone has contacted child services I believe in nature over nature, thank you very much.
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Dec 1, 2018 02:38
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fizzymercy posted:Honestly it was better than any orgasm has a right to be. Been holding it back all night, and even if the total coward bailed with a fake emergency text (his dog was barfing!) he still got a show. I could do worse for a first date. I hope his dog is OK.
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Dec 1, 2018 02:45
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text me a vag pic posted:what about, say, around exactly at Nov 30, 2018 09:29 ah yes, history is in the eye of the beholder now that's aug
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Dec 1, 2018 03:17
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Dec 1, 2018 04:34
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Twat McTwatterson posted:ah yes, history is in the eye of the beholder 
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Dec 1, 2018 05:29
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fizzymercy posted:I just farted, queefed, sneezed, coughed, burped AND farted again, but louder all in one sexy 20 second burst. In the mall food court with a jolly holiday audience. On a first date. hi
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Dec 1, 2018 06:21
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fizzymercy posted:I just farted, queefed, sneezed, coughed, burped AND farted again, but louder all in one sexy 20 second burst. In the mall food court with a jolly holiday audience. On a first date. and then you told people on the internet of your own free will
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Dec 1, 2018 07:52
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Is the Netherlands sex market basically the dollar store hookup for the EU or something?
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Dec 1, 2018 08:21
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T-man posted:and then you told people on the internet of your own free will 
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Dec 1, 2018 10:26
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fizzymercy posted:I just farted, queefed, sneezed, coughed, burped AND farted again, but louder all in one sexy 20 second burst. In the mall food court with a jolly holiday audience. On a first date. I really want to hear what your date thought about these bodily eruptions.
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Dec 1, 2018 10:59
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fizzymercy posted:I just farted, queefed, sneezed, coughed, burped AND farted again, but louder all in one sexy 20 second burst. In the mall food court with a jolly holiday audience. On a first date. Too long for a thread title. Pity.
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Dec 1, 2018 11:13
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If I was that dude and that happened the way I'm imagining it, I would have ended up at the hospital with a broken rib from laughing so much.
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Dec 1, 2018 12:07
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Dec 1, 2018 16:23
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Less stupid than 99.9% of wedding rings.
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Dec 1, 2018 16:45
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Tubgoat posted:Less stupid than 99.9% of wedding rings. Got turned down eh?
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Dec 1, 2018 16:56
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Yes, my application to unearth gems from the earth for no pay under penalty of my limbs being removed was rejected, you are a perceptive one.
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Dec 1, 2018 17:04
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Tubgoat posted:Yes, my application to unearth gems from the earth for no pay under penalty of my limbs being removed was rejected, you are a perceptive one. Two questions. 1. what the gently caress are you talking about?, and 2. having a bad day?
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Dec 1, 2018 17:07
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Tubgoat posted:Yes, my application to unearth gems from the earth for no pay under penalty of my limbs being removed was rejected, you are a perceptive one. So don't put a diamond on it dingus.
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Dec 1, 2018 17:12
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Tubgoat posted:Yes, my application to unearth gems from the earth for no pay under penalty of my limbs being removed was rejected, you are a perceptive one. Yes, yes, all wedding rings are made with blood diamonds, we know  Are you also vegan? Do you own a TV?
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Dec 1, 2018 17:20
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I was mocking the poster's assumption that my beef with wedding rings was one of having been rejected by a partner and not one of disliking overpriced and useless things. Today's been okay.
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Dec 1, 2018 17:26
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Tubgoat posted:I was mocking the poster's assumption that my beef with wedding rings was one of having been rejected by a partner and not one of disliking overpriced and useless things. Today's been okay. I believe he may have been making a joke
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Dec 1, 2018 17:30
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I wanna take you to a theme park or something to cheer you up. You've been a real Gloomy Gus.
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Dec 1, 2018 17:32
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^^^ Ooo, which one? Sure, and in SA tradition, I followed it up with a sarcastic clarification of my intent.
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Dec 1, 2018 17:33
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Tubgoat posted:^^^ Ooo, which one? Do you have a flow chart for poo poo-posting?
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Dec 1, 2018 17:37
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It'd probably take awhile to compose, tbqh.
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Dec 1, 2018 17:47
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Tubgoat posted:^^^ Ooo, which one? Friend, there's only one theme park that combines the fun of roller coasters with 1800's trades and not so subtle religious overtones. Pack your bags, we're heading to Branson's Silver Dollar City!
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Dec 1, 2018 17:48
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Missouri though? Okay, fine. Gifthorses, mouths, etc. Thread content! Mariana Horchata posted:
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Dec 1, 2018 17:52
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Isn't this a gimmick for magicians?
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Dec 1, 2018 18:35
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AlbieQuirky posted:Isn't this a gimmick for magicians? Or, useful on date night, either way
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Dec 1, 2018 18:52
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take it to the natural conclusion. 
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Dec 1, 2018 19:11
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text me a vag pic posted:take it to the natural conclusion. pretend I was smart enough to shop in a line of fingers on every finger, including the thumb and post it
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Dec 1, 2018 19:34
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I legit kinda want to buy some of those, because they look ridiculous and funny.
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Dec 1, 2018 21:02
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fizzymercy posted:I just farted, queefed, sneezed, coughed, burped AND farted again, but louder all in one sexy 20 second burst. In the mall food court with a jolly holiday audience. On a first date. ITT: dating tips from James Joyce. The author of Ulysses posted:I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also. This is very, very much the mildest of it. More here:  Get away from me, James Joyce
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Dec 1, 2018 23:07
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Dec 1, 2018 23:15
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*heavy breathing*
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Dec 2, 2018 00:11
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https://twitter.com/jason_a_w/status/1068997493981990912 https://twitter.com/jason_a_w/status/1069014229036949504
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Dec 2, 2018 01:10
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twistedmentat posted:Do they think a cup of coffee is going to turn a Morman into a pile of dust?
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Dec 2, 2018 01:17
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