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Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

by Shine

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

first interview I gave I brought in the applicants
mother tied to a chair, handed them a gun, and then told them they “weren’t what we were looking for” when they questioned shooting her

I hope you then executed the mother?

:ohdear:

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KidDynamite
Feb 11, 2005

ProSlayer posted:

I'm currently interviewing with Google and it's been a horrible experience. It seems like their recruiters / engineers / managers are constantly busy so every time I have to schedule an interview, it takes a couple of days for the recruiter to get back to me, and then a couple more days to find a date/time that fit, which is nearly always a week or two out. So far, I've had to go through one recruiter call, one technical pre-screen, one onsite (w/ four interviewers), one follow-up technical, and now I'm being asked to schedule another follow-up technical interview. At this point, I don't even care if I'm rejected - I just want it to be over with. Being in job limbo is killing me emotionally. I stopped practicing LeetCode questions because I wanted to know whether I got accepted/rejected before continuing, but now I'm thinking I've wasted precious studying time. If the company wasn't Google, I'd have told the recruiter the recruiter that I'm no longer interested a while ago.

Finally, the worst part is that every time the recruiter has an update, she will send an ambiguous email saying she has feedback for me so I should call her, and then not be available when I try to call her. Like, just loving tell me what happened because the suspense sucks.

i have my first phone screen with them next week. i don't know why i'm doing this to myself. always stress the gently caress out and have a panic attack.

manager was kind enough to give a heads up that the team is likely getting laid off and she's trying to jump ship so i have to interview without the comfort of just saying i have a job gently caress it

edit: i stress out and have panic attacks when i have a job, going to be great to find out what wondrous things my sadbrains put me through now that the prospect of no job looms

KidDynamite fucked around with this message at 12:22 on Dec 5, 2018

Chalks
Sep 30, 2009

A friend recently got a job at deep mind and the interview process sounded absolutely terrible, went on and on forever

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat

Schadenboner posted:

I hope you then executed the mother?

:ohdear:

how else is he going to learn not to waste peoples time?!

ADINSX
Sep 9, 2003

Wanna run with my crew huh? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?

KidDynamite posted:

i have my first phone screen with them next week. i don't know why i'm doing this to myself. always stress the gently caress out and have a panic attack.

manager was kind enough to give a heads up that the team is likely getting laid off and she's trying to jump ship so i have to interview without the comfort of just saying i have a job gently caress it

edit: i stress out and have panic attacks when i have a job, going to be great to find out what wondrous things my sadbrains put me through now that the prospect of no job looms

Just remember that there are way easier interview processes out there and while working for Google may be appealing, you'll be able to find something if you keep at it.

...Emphasis on "may" by the way, the pay/perks might be awesome but the mind-blowing inefficiency/bureaucracy doesn't go away after the interview ends, according to friends that work there

distortion park
Apr 25, 2011


thinking of giving my (3 months!) notice before having a firm job offer. Good idea y/n

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde

pointsofdata posted:

thinking of giving my (3 months!) notice before having a firm job offer. Good idea y/n
unnecessary, and could work against you in a few ways (you change your mind, you don't find something, the boss replaces you sooner).

if you are on a dev team and concerned about knowledge transfer, you can just tell the boss that you're considering a vacation at some point and ask for time to to train people on the parts that you have exclusive knowledge of.

Corla Plankun
May 8, 2007

improve the lives of everyone

pointsofdata posted:

thinking of giving my (3 months!) notice before having a firm job offer. Good idea y/n

dont do this unless you work in a country where your company would extend you the same kindness

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

by Shine
C-on-the-dole-Js: had a really good phone interview this morning with a hosting company then panic attacked and asked for a reschedule on an in-person at a VAR scheduled for later today.

Two steps forward and one step back, &c. &c.

:ohdear:

distortion park
Apr 25, 2011


Corla Plankun posted:

dont do this unless you work in a country where your company would extend you the same kindness

They have to unless I go swear at a customer or something, it's part of my contract.

My concern is more that time to complete job search plus 3 more months is a long time but I also don't want to give my notice then find that getting a new job is way harder than expected. I've started already and it's not as fast as last time.

raminasi
Jan 25, 2005

a last drink with no ice

Corla Plankun posted:

dont do this unless you work in a country where your company would extend you the same kindness

my company actually did this to the last guy on my team to leave. two months notice before firing him.

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



ADINSX posted:

Just remember that there are way easier interview processes out there and while working for Google may be appealing, you'll be able to find something if you keep at it.

...Emphasis on "may" by the way, the pay/perks might be awesome but the mind-blowing inefficiency/bureaucracy doesn't go away after the interview ends, according to friends that work there

telling google that i'm interviewing with several other companies including another member of FAANG has so far kept me from getting jerked around

my plan if i get and accept an offer is to eat more free food whenever some dumb enterprise poo poo pisses me off. stick it to the man

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



raminasi posted:

my company actually did this to the last guy on my team to leave. two months notice before firing him.

last time curjob fired a dude he got that and severance too

ADINSX
Sep 9, 2003

Wanna run with my crew huh? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?

Kevin Mitnick P.E. posted:

my plan if i get and accept an offer is to eat more free food whenever some dumb enterprise poo poo pisses me off. stick it to the man

Better get familiar with the free gym because you're gonna be eating a lot

dragon enthusiast
Jan 1, 2010
what's the play for when you throw your resume at multiple openings in a company but only get a call for the one you liked the least

Cold on a Cob
Feb 6, 2006

i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually

College Slice

pointsofdata posted:

They have to unless I go swear at a customer or something, it's part of my contract.

My concern is more that time to complete job search plus 3 more months is a long time but I also don't want to give my notice then find that getting a new job is way harder than expected. I've started already and it's not as fast as last time.

i was gonna say no

but

you're required to give 3 months notice before you leave?

Cold on a Cob
Feb 6, 2006

i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually

College Slice
i mean i sorta gave 6 months notice, as in i quit because they refused to budge on a raise i wanted

so my employer asked if i'd take a 6 month contract at rates far above what my desired raise is

vOv

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



ADINSX posted:

Better get familiar with the free gym because you're gonna be eating a lot

i like salad. according to the internet dietary vitamin k has no toxicity at any dose so i figure im good

Cold on a Cob
Feb 6, 2006

i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually

College Slice

Kevin Mitnick P.E. posted:

i like salad. according to the internet dietary vitamin k has no toxicity at any dose so i figure im good

get the caesar, it comes with a free colon cleansing treatment

ADINSX
Sep 9, 2003

Wanna run with my crew huh? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?

nanh go the other with it and get swole as hell on that adtech gravy train

TheFluff
Dec 13, 2006

FRIENDS, LISTEN TO ME
I AM A SEAGULL
OF WEALTH AND TASTE

pointsofdata posted:

thinking of giving my (3 months!) notice before having a firm job offer. Good idea y/n

i did this with the same three months and it worked out fine but it was pretty stressful (i quit when i hadn't even gotten to a second interview with anyone yet, iirc). would not necessarily recommend

Cold on a Cob posted:

i was gonna say no

but

you're required to give 3 months notice before you leave?

one to three months notice is a very common contract clause in countries other than the us, yes. goes both ways tho (for layoffs - getting fired isn't really a thing that happens)

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Cold on a Cob posted:

get the caesar, it comes with a free colon cleansing treatment

we can already read his posts tho

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde

Kevin Mitnick P.E. posted:

telling google that i'm interviewing with several other companies including another member of FAANG has so far kept me from getting jerked around
mods ban this terrorist

Shaman Linavi
Apr 3, 2012

dragon enthusiast posted:

what's the play for when you throw your resume at multiple openings in a company but only get a call for the one you liked the least

do the interview anyway because why not, ime the other jobs you applied for at that company might not even know you are interviewing there

distortion park
Apr 25, 2011


TheFluff posted:

i did this with the same three months and it worked out fine but it was pretty stressful (i quit when i hadn't even gotten to a second interview with anyone yet, iirc). would not necessarily recommend


one to three months notice is a very common contract clause in countries other than the us, yes. goes both ways tho (for layoffs - getting fired isn't really a thing that happens)

Thanks. I think I'm going to wait until I at least have an interview with somewhere I'm enthusiastic about, so far only the more mediocre ones have responded

Cold on a Cob
Feb 6, 2006

i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually

College Slice

TheFluff posted:

one to three months notice is a very common contract clause in countries other than the us, yes. goes both ways tho (for layoffs - getting fired isn't really a thing that happens)

crazy

i'm in canada and i don't have to (legally) give any notice at all (convention is 2 weeks though)

employer has to give me notice though, depending on how long i've been a full-time employee

4lokos basilisk
Jul 17, 2008


pointsofdata posted:

Thanks. I think I'm going to wait until I at least have an interview with somewhere I'm enthusiastic about, so far only the more mediocre ones have responded

don't let go of the job you have until you have a signed offer for the next one imo

if 3 months is your required notice then let the next company you're interviewing with know - it's not something you can easily change as it's in the contract, but the next company might be willing to speed up the process

if 3 months is the common in your neck of the woods, then there should be no problem at all with the next company

(ymmv: here in japan if I quit my job and do not find the next one within 3 months, I lose my visa and have to leave the country)

dragon enthusiast posted:

what's the play for when you throw your resume at multiple openings in a company but only get a call for the one you liked the least

go to the face to face or phone screen, blow their minds with your mad skillz and then ask about the other openings

as has been said in this thread before, impressions of a company can change wildly after you've actually met and talked with them - who knows maybe your first position pick has an rear end in a top hat manager or there is some other unexpected surprise

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
what do i do if i put all my career eggs in software dev and can't get a job

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


Gazpacho posted:

what do i do if i put all my career eggs in software dev and can't get a job

dehumanize yourself and face to consulting

you'll float too!

you'll float too!

y̦o̠̣̙͓̓͋̒̉͐ứ̤̈̽̽ͥ̒̚'̏̇̚ḽ̠͔̭l̫͖̘̪͋̑̔ ̣̲̰̰̩͉̣͊̋f̮̰ͩ͐ͩͤ͑ͥͯl͏o͙͖͖̫͓ͨ͊̃̽̀a̝͓̬̦͖͇̮t̠͎̘̙̠̤̩̑͘ ̸͔̦̰͔͂̓̽̋͑̓t̰̲͇̉͋̔ͧo̵̻ͮô̼̩͖̹̮̣̩͂̊͞!͇̋ͦ

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> BEWARE, COWARD :ovr:


finally got a screening tomorrow--preliminary, probably not even technical, but just in case i've been checking on my c++

dear god it hurts to remember that at work i'm pre-C++ 11, lmao, so many tools i don't have access to

auto, lambdas, async(), loving shared_ptr outside of a jank rear end miscompiled boost library

Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 05:19 on Dec 6, 2018

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
i thought consulting was something that required being reasonably current on skills

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Rex-Goliath posted:

dehumanize yourself and face to consulting

you'll float too!

you'll float too!

y̦o̠̣̙͓̓͋̒̉͐ứ̤̈̽̽ͥ̒̚'̏̇̚ḽ̠͔̭l̫͖̘̪͋̑̔ ̣̲̰̰̩͉̣͊̋f̮̰ͩ͐ͩͤ͑ͥͯl͏o͙͖͖̫͓ͨ͊̃̽̀a̝͓̬̦͖͇̮t̠͎̘̙̠̤̩̑͘ ̸͔̦̰͔͂̓̽̋͑̓t̰̲͇̉͋̔ͧo̵̻ͮô̼̩͖̹̮̣̩͂̊͞!͇̋ͦ

We're all floats down here

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde



now open for comments, suggestions, insults

or if someone PMs me regarding opportunities in the SF bay area I will buy myself platinum to respond

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


Gazpacho posted:

i thought consulting was something that required being reasonably current on skills

ha

good one

AWWNAW
Dec 30, 2008

get rid of the first 3 headers and shorten the bio

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost

Gazpacho posted:




now open for comments, suggestions, insults

or if someone PMs me regarding opportunities in the SF bay area I will buy myself platinum to respond

move heaven and earth to get it to 1 page

peeps often say there's exceptions for senior peeps and poo poo but i dont really think empirically there's exceptions

Spime Wrangler
Feb 23, 2003

Because we can.

i'm no expert at getting software jobs or interviewing but I'd drop "generalist" and just own the "software engineer" title

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
and yes i did put the maven stuff on there for my prev job, because it is a name brand technology that people look for :shrug:

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
if you dont take it down to 1 page at least take it down to 2 pages

you did your masters 13 years ago, nobody gives a poo poo about coursework or gpa for either it or your undergrad. bam, down to 2 pages

ditch the summary, "complete listing of professional experiences available on request" or cut down every job before 2009 into a total of 1 or 2 lines (not each, total), ditch the list of technologies right after the summary (cuz you shoved them in the skills list), pare down the job descriptions into things an employer might actually give a poo poo about, bam, down to 1 page

e: pick a non-crap font

bob dobbs is dead fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Dec 6, 2018

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redleader
Aug 18, 2005

Engage according to operational parameters

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

well no one can see the loving future, pollyanna. (jesus what a username/post combo)

you can also talk about european social democracy on a "for now" basis. what if their politics grow even more horrible and toxic than today?

you can talk this way but it's not very productive since you can't plan a life around the collapse of institutions

sounds like somebody has yet to face the realities of climate change

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