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AWWNAW
Dec 30, 2008

what’s up with the dog poo poo windows 3.1 text rendering

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Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
I don't have an appropriate printing driver, so I screen capped it

e: quoted for page break

Gazpacho fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Dec 10, 2018

AWWNAW
Dec 30, 2008

I suggest emailing the document to a friend with an Apple computer and having them export it to PDF

TheFluff
Dec 13, 2006

FRIENDS, LISTEN TO ME
I AM A SEAGULL
OF WEALTH AND TASTE
use the garamond typeface

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

by Shine

TheFluff posted:

use the garamond typeface

Comic Sans is the business typeface for the 21st Century.

4lokos basilisk
Jul 17, 2008


use the latex template op

qhat
Jul 6, 2015


I recommend not creating resumes on BBC Micros.

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

what happened with one page unless you have a literal Nobel prize?

in which case your resume is still one page with one item citing said prize

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
Well I can redux it to one page that says “I WRITE C0DEZ” but what job is that gonna get me

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost

Gazpacho posted:

Well I can redux it to one page that says “I WRITE C0DEZ” but what job is that gonna get me

a job writing codez

no, you can shrive off like 3 bullet points from every job and you'll be done

(or you can take off the earliest 3 jobs before microsoft in rando companies, replace with "other jobs available on request" or some poo poo and be 2/3 done)

bob dobbs is dead fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Dec 10, 2018

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts

lancemantis posted:

It’s being gay

what is

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
i stay away from game companies but what does being an adult have to do with it

is this like "old people shouldnt play rock music"

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost

Gazpacho posted:

i stay away from game companies but what does being an adult have to do with it

is this like "old people shouldnt play rock music"

its like old people shouldn't work 90 hrs/week
young peeps should also not work 90 hrs/week

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Got good reactions from The Questions

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually
game companies are famous for

1) paying below-market
2) demanding enormous amounts of crunch
3) firing you once the game ships

if your tech chops are good enough to work in gaming, theyre good enough to work in an industry that doesnt have all three of those characteristics

so dont work in gaming

elite_garbage_man
Apr 3, 2010
I THINK THAT "PRIMA DONNA" IS "PRE-MADONNA". I MAY BE ILLITERATE.
BUT I LOVE VIDEO GAMES

JawnV6
Jul 4, 2004

So hot ...

FMguru posted:

if your tech chops are good enough to work in gaming, theyre good enough to work in an industry that doesnt have all three of those characteristics
i had a friend in college go into gaming, so it kinda sucked watching from afar as his dreams were ground into a fine paste, he got out soon after his first game wrapped

he mentioned the game he worked on and i bought it, his reaction being "god im sorry, i hope you didn't pay full price"

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


I work with a good number of people who abandoned game dev. I think it would only be good of you were doing your own thing like the stardew valley guy but gently caress working on like a AAA game or w/e

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> BEWARE, COWARD :ovr:


Captain Foo posted:

Got good reactions from The Questions

what questions are these, i got a tech interview tomorrow and im scared im gonna blow it

redleader
Aug 18, 2005

Engage according to operational parameters
a fresh college graduate has literally nothing else going on in their lives, so they might as well spend a few years working on something they once enjoyed before resigning themselves to a lifetime of crud web apps

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


Ciaphas posted:

what questions are these, i got a tech interview tomorrow and im scared im gonna blow it

They're in the op, op

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
ok here's my one page



but I just know I'm gonna get snobby recruiters and interviewers asking me why i don't have more stuff on there

comments about the fonts and the pixels have been noted

Gazpacho fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Dec 10, 2018

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


I stopped cutting my resume to 1 page since no one ever prints them anymore it gives more room for keywords :shrug:

ShadowHawk
Jun 25, 2000

CERTIFIED PRE OWNED TESLA OWNER
Is there some obscure page layout setting you can do to set a PDF to use extremely large unprintable per page paper settings?

(don't do this)

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> BEWARE, COWARD :ovr:


PokeJoe posted:

They're in the op, op

thanks op, forgot about the op :cheers:

raminasi
Jan 25, 2005

a last drink with no ice
hahaha oh my god even internal recruiters are still recruiters

a two years ago I got rejected from this company because I couldn’t enumerate substrings in 45 minutes over the phone or whatever, and last week I get a cold email:

their recruiter posted:

Hey raminasi,
I'm reaching out because I am working directly with the CTO of Oscar Health to grow their Engineering department from 100 to 200 in the next year.

Unsure how familiar you are with Oscar, but we are solving one of the biggest problems facing America today - the cost of healthcare.

Oscar is doing things that have never been done in healthcare before as we are very tech/data focused and are able to attract some of the best engineers in the country because of this. Both our VP of Engineering and CTO have Google backgrounds, and you will not find a healthcare company in the world with as many talented engineers as Oscar.

We have received over $1.3B in funding to date - our most recent round in August raised $375m and we are just getting started.

Up for a call?

Nikki


Embedded Technical Recruiter

Oscar Health: 295 Lafayette Street, 6th Floor New York, NY 10012

my bored rear end posted:

Nikki,

Unfortunately, I'm closer to a Middling Software Engineer, with a stretch to Somewhat Decent Software Engineer on my good days. (Think more AltaVista than Google.) Do you have any positions open for that?

raminasi

lol posted:

Hey Cody,

Thanks for the response. Are you able to send over a copy of your resume?

I'll see if there's alignment with your skills and our team from that.

Best,
Nikki Baroff
i’m tempted to write up a fake “mediocre software engineer” resume and see what happens

Shaggar
Apr 26, 2006
the google thing is cringey, but other than that idk whats so weird about it.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
oscar health is owned by jared kushner's brother, iirc

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
yah

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joshua_Kushner

dragon enthusiast
Jan 1, 2010

PokeJoe posted:

I work with a good number of people who abandoned game dev. I think it would only be good of you were doing your own thing like the stardew valley guy but gently caress working on like a AAA game or w/e

the stardew valley guy almost committed suicide over the crushing isolation of solo indie gamedev so im pretty sure that's not an improvement

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

lancemantis posted:

I think my first job was like a week of combined sick and vacation that jumped to two after 5 years

Let me just say that America is insane. Like I worked in America for a decade and the vacation/sick pay situation sucked compared to back in Britain, but this is just mindboggling. This was a tech job?

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 15, 2007

Fun Shoe
tech in that I was obstensibly a developer yes; other than that no but it was a fortune 500 still

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 15, 2007

Fun Shoe
companies like that kind of prey on university pipelining since a lot of the people I worked with were from the same institution or another nearby one and they recruited there pretty hard

like i had no idea what's good or bad, i was 4 years out of my crappy isolated nowhere rural village and i was getting paid more than my father did :shrug:

i got screwed over a lot in that job

at least that job let me weather 2008+ without things coming out too terribly

duz
Jul 11, 2005

Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost


ShadowHawk posted:

Is there some obscure page layout setting you can do to set a PDF to use extremely large unprintable per page paper settings?

(don't do this)

A4
no americans will ever be able to figure out why they cant print it

Shaggar
Apr 26, 2006
your pdf software will just format it to proper 8.5"x11"

jeffery
Jan 1, 2013
every is waiting... it's been 4 years but Time is of no issue

PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


dragon enthusiast posted:

the stardew valley guy almost committed suicide over the crushing isolation of solo indie gamedev so im pretty sure that's not an improvement

Hmm well that's not ideal. Back to the drawing board

Pie Colony
Dec 8, 2006
I AM SUCH A FUCKUP THAT I CAN'T EVEN POST IN AN E/N THREAD I STARTED

Gazpacho posted:

ok here's my one page



but I just know I'm gonna get snobby recruiters and interviewers asking me why i don't have more stuff on there

comments about the fonts and the pixels have been noted

it's definitely better than what you used to have, so nice job. but you should still remove the summary section, it's basically a less informative version of your "technology skills" and half the things you list on it don't actually mean anything

i'd also probably cull the technology skills section just because it looks so busy, but that's more minor. like is anyone really skilled at JSON? my rule of thumb is only listing things i would be comfortable/interested working with full time

Chopstick Dystopia
Jun 16, 2010


lowest high and highest low loser of: WEED WEE
k

Pie Colony posted:

like is anyone really skilled at JSON?

Stupidly enough I see JSON in job ads as a skill or to have experience with so people are using it as a keyword unfortunately.

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Pie Colony
Dec 8, 2006
I AM SUCH A FUCKUP THAT I CAN'T EVEN POST IN AN E/N THREAD I STARTED
also being more specific with your bullet points is good. like what kinds of secure coding practices? how was the new service you coded useful for your company? numbers are very specific. what was the failure rate before and after you implemented your renderer? i'm assuming you don't actually know but it's okay to fudge the numbers in situations like this

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