[SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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Methylethylaldehyde: Oct 23, 2004; BAKA BAKA

iospace posted:

Here is my ticket

code:

Need root access to prod

Priority: maximum

I need root access to prod to do testing.  Thanks!

FW:
CC: CEO, CTO, CIO, CPO, Boss's boss, boss, president of the UAE for some reason

Why hasn't this been granted yet??/!? I asked for this weeks ago, and $bigproduct$ will be delayed if this isn't resolved.

code:

Need root access to prod

Priority: maximum

I need root access to prod to do testing.  Thanks!

(sent from my iphone), 5 minutes after sending the first email.

# ? Jan 3, 2019 19:28

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 02:41

BlankSystemDaemon: Mar 13, 2009

iospace posted:

Here is my ticket

code:

Need root access to prod

Priority: maximum

I need root access to prod to do testing.  Thanks!

Hi iospace,
I have talked with a collage about this, and they have the following to say:

Agrikk posted:

It�s DNS

We apologise for the inconvenience, as is written in fire in letters thirty feet high on the far side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains in the land of Sevorbeupstry on the planet of Preliumtarn, which orbits the star Zarss, which is located in the Grey Binding Fiefdoms of Saxaquine.
Paraphrased here:

BlankSystemDaemon fucked around with this message at 00:01 on Jan 4, 2019

# ? Jan 3, 2019 23:57

ElehemEare: May 20, 2001; I am an omnipotent penguin.

Proteus Jones posted:

Are they solely your responsibility?

Not at all. :discourse:

# ? Jan 4, 2019 03:47

monsterzero: May 12, 2002; -=TOPGUN=-
Boys who love airplanes Boys who love boys; Lipstick Apathy

iospace posted:

Here is my ticket

code:

Need root access to prod

Priority: maximum

I need root access to prod to do testing.  Thanks!

IT response:

Granted.

# ? Jan 7, 2019 22:22

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

quote:

Urgent password reset please

Can you please reset Employee's password urgently and let me know what you have reset it to. I need to access her email.

Thank you.
Office Manager

There's absolutely no way I'm doing something like that, why the gently caress would you even think that's acceptable...

Message Trace:
08/01/2019
From: Team Lead
To: Employee
Subject: "Recall: Bonus_Assessment_and_Performance_Evaluation_Team_Lead.xlsx"

...you goddamn muppets.

# ? Jan 7, 2019 23:25

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

lol

# ? Jan 7, 2019 23:43

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

Ghostlight posted:

There's absolutely no way I'm doing something like that, why the gently caress would you even think that's acceptable...

Message Trace:
08/01/2019
From: Team Lead
To: Employee
Subject: "Recall: Bonus_Assessment_and_Performance_Evaluation_Team_Lead.xlsx"

...you goddamn muppets.

Quick! you need to create and run a rule for that user that forwards any email with an attachment from "Team Lead" to <entire org>.
Then give him access to the mailbox.

# ? Jan 7, 2019 23:51

incoherent: Apr 24, 2004; 01010100011010000111001
00110100101101100011011
000110010101110010

During a transition from sole owner to being owned by a equity firm (and becoming a REAL bussness) owner doofus sent a private email that was supposed to be to his personal lawyer about some drama to his entire SALES team. Said doofus tried to ask my manager at the time, who didn't know about my then NEW exchange 2010 implementation, to delete the email.

Had to call me, cap in hand, to see if we could remove the email. Several already forwarded it outside the organization. Didn't know what happened after that with him and those who forwarded the email but the incoming CEO had a meeting with my boss and I about "hey guys what if we implement a email archiver" after that.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 01:52

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

monsterzero posted:

IT response:

Granted.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 02:02

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

iospace posted:

Don�t get too attached to it, we only have it for the trial period.

It�s a teaser taser.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 02:44

angry armadillo: Jul 26, 2010

A VGA lead came in yesterday, the pins were all smooshed.
It appears someone on the night shift didn't want to do their work.

I told my helpdesk guy to go tell that department that I'm going to go snitch on them, I guess word will spread that they are going to get in trouble and they will stop doing it.

But the user has gone into a cupboard where the PC is located, that doesn't have anything other than the PC so they don't need to be in there - they've managed to dismantle a KVM switch and smoosh that VGA connector. Also, I don't know about you guys but I've never managed to bend all the pins on a VGA connector by accident... so whilst I can't prove anything, I'm pretty sure someone doesn't want to do any work :lol:

oops

# ? Jan 8, 2019 10:29

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Ghostlight posted:

There's absolutely no way I'm doing something like that, why the gently caress would you even think that's acceptable...

Message Trace:
08/01/2019
From: Team Lead
To: Employee
Subject: "Recall: Bonus_Assessment_and_Performance_Evaluation_Team_Lead.xlsx"

...you goddamn muppets.

If they'd actually asked for what they wanted (remove a specific item from an users inbox) then you could probably have done it with approval from a line manager, rather than making something an HR issue. Why do people never ask for what they want.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 13:34

Canuck-Errant: Oct 28, 2003; MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS; Grimey Drawer

So I just received an email stating that the government is now using an "Agile Procurement Process" to find a new HR/pay system. How worried should I be?

# ? Jan 8, 2019 16:09

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

Canuck-Errant posted:

So I just received an email stating that the government is now using an "Agile Procurement Process" to find a new HR/pay system. How worried should I be?

Which government?

# ? Jan 8, 2019 16:14

null_pointer: Nov 9, 2004; Center in, pull back. Stop. Track 45 right. Stop. Center and stop.

Canuck-Errant posted:

So I just received an email stating that the government is now using an "Agile Procurement Process" to find a new HR/pay system. How worried should I be?

You're basically hosed. Keep a larger nest-egg in savings for when they inevitably gently caress up your checks. This is not a joke.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 16:26

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Canuck-Errant posted:

So I just received an email stating that the government is now using an "Agile Procurement Process" to find a new HR/pay system. How worried should I be?

The government has one standard for these things: What is the cheapest system that meets the major requirements, other requirements be dammed?

# ? Jan 8, 2019 16:35

ChubbyThePhat: Dec 22, 2006; Who nico nico needs anyone else

Canuck-Errant posted:

So I just received an email stating that the government is now using an "Agile Procurement Process" to find a new HR/pay system. How worried should I be?

As above, this sounds like it is screaming for pain.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 16:41

Siochain: May 24, 2005; "can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."

null_pointer posted:

You're basically hosed. Keep a larger nest-egg in savings for when they inevitably gently caress up your checks. This is not a joke.

This times a million.

Pro-read here: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/05/29/canada_phoenix_payroll_system_audit/

# ? Jan 8, 2019 17:06

Canuck-Errant: Oct 28, 2003; MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS; Grimey Drawer

Jaded Burnout posted:

Which government?

, eh. And somehow Phoenix hasn't hosed up my pay or benefits yet~

# ? Jan 8, 2019 17:10

Volguus: Mar 3, 2009

Siochain posted:

This times a million.

Pro-read here: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/05/29/canada_phoenix_payroll_system_audit/

quote:

Hopefully, the people behind the next Phoenix-style project will take the lessons to heart, rise from the ashes rather than set everything on fire, and another costly disaster can be avoided. �

That will never happen, there's too much money to be made.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 17:13

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

Canuck-Errant posted:

, eh. And somehow Phoenix hasn't hosed up my pay or benefits yet~

If it�s the CDS doing it then hopefully it�s just being badly phrased by someone who doesn�t know what they�re talking about as I know they know what agile is.

If it�s someone else then oh dear.

Siochain posted:

This times a million.

Pro-read here: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/05/29/canada_phoenix_payroll_system_audit/

Just a warning that the register have a very strong bias against public sector tech for some reason, so read it with that in mind.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 18:58

Canuck-Errant: Oct 28, 2003; MOOD: BURNING - MUSIC: DISCO INFERNO BY THE TRAMMPS; Grimey Drawer

Jaded Burnout posted:

If it’s the CDS doing it then hopefully it’s just being badly phrased by someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about as I know they know what agile is.

If it’s someone else then oh dear.

The NextGen team under TBS are handling it, and have a blog article about what they mean by an "Agile process" on their Canada.ca subsite.

E:

quote:

The Agile Procurement Process is a three gated approach that will assess key requirements from vendors in an effort to find options for a next generation HR and pay solution. To date, two of the three gates have launched and progress continues through iterative conversations with industry and stakeholders, including similar organizations and undertakings where lessons learned continue to be applied to this iterative process.

Canuck-Errant fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Jan 8, 2019

# ? Jan 8, 2019 19:12

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Jaded Burnout posted:

Just a warning that the register have a very strong bias against public sector tech for some reason, so read it with that in mind.

It's the same reason that

quote:

Capita dude: "100 million! Ready by brexit!"
Minister: "it's <noun> this time."
Capita dude: "YES!" *hangs up*

Has become a meme.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 19:40

Siochain: May 24, 2005; "can they get rid of any humans who are fans of shitheads like Kanye West, 50 Cent, or any other piece of crap "artist" who thinks they're all that?

And also get rid of anyone who has posted retarded shit on the internet."

Jaded Burnout posted:

Just a warning that the register have a very strong bias against public sector tech for some reason, so read it with that in mind.

Yeah, I'm aware - should've sourced something better, but it was the first article that hit most of the "real" pain points. Lots of other, differently biased, articles that cover most of the same.
Regardless, its a poo poo show hahah.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 20:01

Aunt Beth: Feb 24, 2006; Baby, you're ready!; Grimey Drawer

Siochain posted:

This times a million.

Pro-read here: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/05/29/canada_phoenix_payroll_system_audit/

Oracle^IBM is literally the worst thing I can imagine. I want to know how the procurement process worked because there�s no way IBM integrating an Oracle product was the lowest bidder.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 20:24

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

Arquinsiel posted:

It's the same reason that

Has become a meme.

On that I agree, but they behave the same even towards efforts against that sort of procurement.

# ? Jan 8, 2019 20:28

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

Is there a good way to test custom phishing rules? Mimecast lets you to tiered rules, eg one red flag will add a warning to the subject, 2 will put it on hold. Flags can be things like a sender name matching that of an internal user or using a similarly spelled domain.
I'd like to test this on a small group rather than just deploy it and find I've blocked all personal email or something.

# ? Jan 9, 2019 11:39

Arquinsiel: Jun 1, 2006; "There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady

Jaded Burnout posted:

On that I agree, but they behave the same even towards efforts against that sort of procurement.

I'm not as familiar with the UK's system as the Irish one, but here they make efforts against that sort of thing, the lowest bid is "we'll do it for free" and yet somehow Dennis O'Brien manages to win the bid with something that costs the taxpayer millions via a company he registered a day or two after the tender closed...

# ? Jan 9, 2019 13:04

ookiimarukochan: Apr 4, 2011

Jaded Burnout posted:

Just a warning that the register have a very strong bias against public sector tech for some reason, so read it with that in mind.

The Register is a UK based site. The UK government has literally NEVER had an IT project that worked. Some of them have ended up working enough that they're actually used rather than abandoned but they're all years late and at least 10x over budget. Sometimes they end up causing hundreds or thousands of unnecessary deaths, like the fire brigade's IT sytesm, and some times they end up just costing huge amounts of money, like the Student Loan Company's IT systems (if you have a loan with them that you've paid off, check out the paperwork - I guarantee they've hosed up illegally and will pay you off to avoid a court trial)

# ? Jan 9, 2019 13:44

Jaded Burnout: Jul 10, 2004

ookiimarukochan posted:

The Register is a UK based site. The UK government has literally NEVER had an IT project that worked. Some of them have ended up working enough that they're actually used rather than abandoned but they're all years late and at least 10x over budget. Sometimes they end up causing hundreds or thousands of unnecessary deaths, like the fire brigade's IT sytesm, and some times they end up just costing huge amounts of money, like the Student Loan Company's IT systems (if you have a loan with them that you've paid off, check out the paperwork - I guarantee they've hosed up illegally and will pay you off to avoid a court trial)

I can�t speak to the performance of IT projects specifically since I do software development, but I literally work on UK government software projects and have for the last 6 years.

Notify works fine and was in budget. Govuk works fine and was in budget. GDS spend controls seem to have a lot of sensible decisions going on from what I�ve read of the internal memos (excluding ministerial overrides). MoJ had a lot of good technologists working on their stuff. Universal Credit was unfortunately a political football between GDS and DWP.

There�s plenty wrong with government tech but the register really do poo poo on every project and initiative whether it�s warranted or not.

Even just talking about IT, you know as well as all of us that you only hear about it when it goes wrong.

Jaded Burnout fucked around with this message at 15:06 on Jan 9, 2019

# ? Jan 9, 2019 14:49

ChubbyThePhat: Dec 22, 2006; Who nico nico needs anyone else

Ticket comes in regarding a phone system down for one of our offices. Great, guess that's my problem as the early guy to the office. Turns out the system is rather old and slotted to be replaced, which has the added benefit of I have never looked at or logged in to it. Alright, can't be that bad it's just phones. WELL looks like literally nothing about the site is documented so I have no addresses or logins for the phone system! Looks like I just get to go through it blind.

Sometimes it do be like that.

# ? Jan 9, 2019 15:59

Eschatos: Apr 10, 2013; pictured: Big Cum's Most Monstrous Ambassador

bitterandtwisted posted:

Is there a good way to test custom phishing rules? Mimecast lets you to tiered rules, eg one red flag will add a warning to the subject, 2 will put it on hold. Flags can be things like a sender name matching that of an internal user or using a similarly spelled domain.
I'd like to test this on a small group rather than just deploy it and find I've blocked all personal email or something.

I've been experimenting with the same policies. Set it up with whatever filtering rules you want, but just set it to send an alert email to you on detection instead of blocking email. Then you can gauge the percentage of false positives and adjust the rules over time without your users noticing anything.

Like this:

# ? Jan 9, 2019 16:07

bitterandtwisted: Sep 4, 2006

Eschatos posted:

I've been experimenting with the same policies. Set it up with whatever filtering rules you want, but just set it to send an alert email to you on detection instead of blocking email. Then you can gauge the percentage of false positives and adjust the rules over time without your users noticing anything.

Like this:

Oh yeah, that makes sense! Thanks

# ? Jan 9, 2019 16:28

DigitalMocking: Jun 8, 2010; Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

Agrikk posted:

It�s DNS

I am so loving triggered right now.

# ? Jan 9, 2019 17:02

sixth and maimed: Mar 20, 2012; Fun Shoe

So, a mail came in ...

To: me
CC: Owner, CEO/CFO
Subj: new contract

Hey

New customer wants to create a link between their ordering portal en our webshop. These are their requirements:
<list of punch-out requirements>

We have a start-up meeting on January 18th.

Thanks.

One problem: our legacy ERP/Webshop doesn't support punch-out. :derp:

Does anybody know if you create a CIF on Ariba, can they punch-out or access that?

# ? Jan 9, 2019 17:03

ChubbyThePhat: Dec 22, 2006; Who nico nico needs anyone else

ChubbyThePhat posted:

poo poo be hosed

It was the PRI. All the channels are down. Called the service provider and now it's (mostly) not my problem.

I hate phones.

# ? Jan 9, 2019 18:51

Aunt Beth: Feb 24, 2006; Baby, you're ready!; Grimey Drawer

Nevermind, this was a better question for the Enterprise Windows thread and Sirotan already had a fix there.

Aunt Beth fucked around with this message at 19:07 on Jan 9, 2019

# ? Jan 9, 2019 19:04

The Fool: Oct 16, 2003

Aunt Beth posted:

Anyone having trouble with activating Windows 7 via KMS today?

Our remaining Windows 7 Pro machines are failing activation and our KMS is still servicing Windows 10 and Office requests just fine.

I was going to link you the enterprise thread, but I see you already found it.

e: Link for anyone else that has this issue but doesn't read the enterprise thread.

# ? Jan 9, 2019 19:07

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

ChubbyThePhat posted:

Ticket comes in regarding a phone system down for one of our offices. Great, guess that's my problem as the early guy to the office. Turns out the system is rather old and slotted to be replaced, which has the added benefit of I have never looked at or logged in to it. Alright, can't be that bad it's just phones. WELL looks like literally nothing about the site is documented so I have no addresses or logins for the phone system! Looks like I just get to go through it blind.

Sometimes it do be like that.

admin / admin

Sometimes it be like that too.

ChubbyThePhat posted:

It was the PRI. All the channels are down. Called the service provider and now it's (mostly) not my problem.

I hate phones.

In my case my boss would probably want me to ride the vendor's rear end until they showed up to 'do something'.

Speaking of phones!!!
Verizon has now sent 4 different techs out, I don't even know how many loving times, to install an ONT in a location where they apparently haven't even installed fiber.
They keep sending someone out for a site survey. Result: they report that there is no fiber terminal. (We actually have a whole rack of VZ equip and fiber but I guess that doesn't count?)
Then a few days later someone shows up to install a fiber terminal, but can't because "there's no fiber run to the building."
Then a couple days after that someone comes to install the ONT in the fiber terminal that doesn't exist.
Then it gets kicked back to construction who requests a site survey.
Repeat ad-nauseam.

This has been going on for 3 months now and yesterday I FINALLY got a call scheduled with all the different teams to see if they can't figure out what the gently caress their problem is. Why the customer has to be the one to set up a conference call between all the different branches of the vendor, I have no loving clue.

GnarlyCharlie4u fucked around with this message at 04:45 on Jan 10, 2019

# ? Jan 10, 2019 04:39

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 02:41

AnonymousNarcotics: Aug 6, 2012; we will go far into the sea
you will take me
onto your back
never look back
never look back

Ugh. We were CC'd on an infinite loop between two other support desks. Anyone wanna take a guess how many tickets were generated?

# ? Jan 10, 2019 04:44

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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