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I had an ex-fuckbuddy tell me multiple times last year that I was the one who got away???? He didn't even like me, he just likes huge titties. I hadn't spoken to him since 2010 because he got mad at a post I made on Livejournal because it "irked" him and I wasn't bothered.
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Jan 9, 2019 19:14
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Best Bi Geek Squid posted:smh your response should have been "me too" "well duh, who doesn't want to marry Idris Elba?"
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Jan 9, 2019 19:34
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I had an ex-fuckbuddy tell me multiple times last year that I was the one who got away???? He didn't even like me, he just likes huge titties. I hadn't spoken to him since 2010 because he got mad at a post I made on Livejournal because it "irked" him and I wasn't bothered. If it wasn't for the timeframe here I'd assume you were talking about me
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Jan 9, 2019 19:39
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I had an ex-fuckbuddy tell me multiple times last year that I was the one who got away???? He didn't even like me, he just likes huge titties. i think you misheard him and that he actually said that yours were the ones who got away
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Jan 9, 2019 19:44
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I cannot flirt at all. I turn into a six-year-old. HI I'M FLETA I LIKE SHARKS AND BARBIE DO YOU MAYBE WANNA GO DO SOMETHING? My wife also likes sharks and is well endowed, so send me a pm if you're in the bay area and want to do some boating to the farallons where all the great white sharks are.
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Jan 9, 2019 19:51
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Beachcomber posted:My wife also likes sharks and is well endowed, How big is her dick? Just want to compare to my wife's.
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Jan 9, 2019 19:58
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My ex-wife had a pretty amazing collection of dicks.
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Jan 9, 2019 20:08
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Oldstench posted:How big is her dick? Just want to compare to my wife's. The packaging says 7-¼" by 1-¾"
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Jan 9, 2019 20:10
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What's the collective noun for a whole lot of dicks? A bagful?
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Jan 9, 2019 20:10
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:What's the collective noun for a whole lot of dicks? A bagful? Something Awful
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Jan 9, 2019 20:12
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Yo, what's with people making it clear to their significant other that although they're in a committed relationship we need to agree that if I ever get the chance to gently caress celebrity X or Y I'm going for it. I have THREE friends who all have exs that did that. One was a dude who brought up, very early in their relationship, that she needed to understand and be ok with him sleeping with Avril Lavigne if he ever had the chance. Why the gently caress bring this up? It's an insane hypothetical that will never ever happen but makes the other person feel weird. And it wasn't just once, he brought it up time and time again. "remember our deal! You agreed! Avril is doing a show in town so there's an off chance I'll meet her and you said you'd be ok with it..." The other was a lady who had an obsession with one of the Doctor Who actors, exact same deal. He was in town filming something and she prowled around all the locations hoping to see him and again, "remember our agreement, you can't be jealous!". Another was a dude with a couple other generic attractive celebrities on a list that she HAS to allow him to gently caress, if on the off chance it ever comes up. He'd always bug her for a similar list. "It's only fair, you get a list too! Oh of course it will never happen it's only for fun!" And when she finally was badgered into just admitting some celebrities she found attractive but in no way wanted a gross hypothetical open-relationship bylaw, he got all upset and jealous because one of them was a much more local celebrity and thus dangerously "accessible". He would also constnatly comment on any other guy she made the mistake of mentioning if he came up in a movie or something. "ohhh this movie has your boyfriend in it, ooooo you just loving love that guy don't you? Yeah my nose totally can't compete with his massive nose, I've got nose-envy here!" What is the point of these stupid celebrity gently caress agreements, why vocalize that poo poo at all? Nothing good can come from them.
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Jan 9, 2019 20:13
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That’s definitely something from a tv show.
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Jan 9, 2019 20:14
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:What's the collective noun for a whole lot of dicks? A bagful? assload
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Jan 9, 2019 20:15
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:What's the collective noun for a whole lot of dicks? A bagful? A GOP of dicks.
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Jan 9, 2019 20:18
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In America it's a bag but in Britain it's a can
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Jan 9, 2019 20:19
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Actually In the US it’s a carton but in Canada it’s a bag
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Jan 9, 2019 20:27
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yeah in the UK it's a "packet"
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Jan 9, 2019 20:33
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i believe it's a dongle of dicks
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Jan 9, 2019 20:39
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barrel-o
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Jan 9, 2019 20:42
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Beachcomber posted:My wife also likes sharks and is well endowed, so send me a pm if you're in the bay area and want to do some boating Motorboating.
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Jan 9, 2019 20:42
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I can't imagine what it's called in Australia
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Jan 9, 2019 20:42
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SniperWoreConverse posted:yeah in the UK it's a "packet" "a boxy-woxy of cocksy-wocksies"
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Jan 9, 2019 20:42
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SciFiDownBeat posted:I can't imagine what it's called in Australia Queenslanders.  naeka fucked around with this message at 20:51 on Jan 9, 2019 |
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Jan 9, 2019 20:44
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Baronjutter posted:Yo, what's with people making it clear to their significant other that although they're in a committed relationship we need to agree that if I ever get the chance to gently caress celebrity X or Y I'm going for it. i told her that was a psychopathic way of looking at relationships and bluntly told her that this poo poo is why she's still single at 36 and she basically shrugged and took another pull from her rum.
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Jan 9, 2019 21:04
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was it nuka cola dark?
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Jan 9, 2019 21:08
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naeka posted:Queenslanders. Maybe it's only because we were only there for a week but people in Port Douglas and Brisbane seemed fine?
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Jan 9, 2019 21:10
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Coolguye posted:i've asked this to one of my freak friends because i saw her do it to 3 different guys and she basically said it was a good canary in the mineshaft on how jealous they were going to be in general. if i remember right the response was something to the affect of "look, i don't care who you are, there's going to be men that are way better than you in some situations. if you can't admit that and not be threatened by it you're probably going to be threatened by men who are even a little better than you in one situation." Being able to admit that people more attractive than your current partner is a mature and normal thing to do. Trying to "test" them on that maturity by outright telling them you'd cheat on them in a heartbeat with a list of better-looking celebrities isn't exactly the same thing or confidence inspiring. "I'm just with you until I find someone hotter (and here's a list of people I find hotter than you and would leave you for) and if you aren't ok with that you're jealous and immature!" is hosed.
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Jan 9, 2019 21:24
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Beachcomber posted:Maybe it's only because we were only there for a week but people in Port Douglas and Brisbane seemed fine? The south east is somewhat civilised but look up Sir Joh for a true horror story featuring banning blacks from medical care, weaponising aids against the gays and a land of white supremacists and sov cits. We lived there partially cause abortion was illegal (still is i think) and drs told my mum it wasn't safe to have me but guess what I'm like 60% functional you fuckers!
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Jan 9, 2019 21:48
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Baronjutter posted:Yo, what's with people making it clear to their significant other that although they're in a committed relationship we need to agree that if I ever get the chance to gently caress celebrity X or Y I'm going for it. I have photos and posters of Michael Jordan in every room of my house (every room) and this conversation comes up sometimes but i try not to initiate it because who could ever compare?? Sorry fellas but Michael is my spirit husband and if you can't deal then too bad.
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Jan 9, 2019 21:53
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His legacy of political apathy is as damning of you as it is of him. Die cis scum.
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Jan 9, 2019 21:58
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Beachcomber posted:Maybe it's only because we were only there for a week but people in Port Douglas and Brisbane seemed fine? Say hello to a normal Queenslander. https://video.twimg.com/amplify_video/932030231199727618/vid/640x360/ncTzv-MooeyKdFEO.mp4 naeka posted:The south east is somewhat civilised but look up Sir Joh for a true horror story featuring banning blacks from medical care, weaponising aids against the gays and a land of white supremacists and sov cits. We lived there partially cause abortion was illegal (still is i think) and drs told my mum it wasn't safe to have me but guess what I'm like 60% functional you fuckers! Abortion is legal in Queensland now. Was legalised last year.
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Jan 9, 2019 22:04
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Baronjutter posted:Yo, what's with people making it clear to their significant other that although they're in a committed relationship we need to agree that if I ever get the chance to gently caress celebrity X or Y I'm going for it. Michael Macintyre has a skit about this: his wife’s list is Brad Pitt, George Clooney w/e, and after a lot of badgering his list starts “ Ok, your sister, your mum, your best friend …”.
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Jan 9, 2019 22:05
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Motorboating sharkwife titty brigade!!!
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Jan 9, 2019 22:06
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Bees on Wheat posted:I could probably start a whole 'nother thread about stupid poo poo that happened at that bar, or after a night of drinking there. Like the time one of my coworkers got pissed at her ex (also a coworker!) and shoved him into a barrel with a lit candle on it. Or the pretty lesbian girl I worked with that was either a hysterical crying drunk, or trying to make out with literally every other woman there, despite the fact that she had a girlfriend. Good times. Edit to add: the "celebrity freebie list" thing is a good way to test how someone handles you looking at other pretty people and acknowledging that they are attractive to you, as well as seeing how well they differentiate fantasy from reality. Having that conversation more than once or bringing it up every time you see that celebrity is weird, but it's a pretty good litmus test for a thing that you can't directly inquire about. I dated a girl who got angry about any sort of idle chat topic in that vein (to the point where saying "yes [actress] is attractive" was a week-long battle) and also threw a loving tantrum pretty much whenever I had my eyes open in public. Almost every day was another "do you think she's prettier than me?!" or "you were flirting with the waitress/cashier/automated phone system by talking!" fight and that poo poo is exhausting. Even in bed she'd say "I'll bet you're thinking about [random girl we both know of] instead of me" sometimes. I think she just couldn't imagine a relationship that wasn't a constant battle because her parents were that typical suburban 'we stayed married for the kids so we openly hate each other at home then pretend everything is fine in public' couple. Yawgmoth fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Jan 9, 2019 |
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Jan 9, 2019 22:17
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I love you so much baby, you're my one and everything, this love train ain't ever going to stop, but just to let you know that if I get to gently caress somebody who validates me in a slightly different way then please know that I will absolutely go for that, but it doesn't mean that you aren't my favourite backup. Why can't you take that for the compliment that it is? You're my favourite backup source of validation!
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Jan 9, 2019 22:27
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I know we have 3 kids and 20 years together but if I could jam my crotch into somebody that reminds me of being a hope-filled teenager then I will absolutely throw away my entire life for that. What, why are you getting mad? Don't be such a baby (this is incredibly toxic btw and if your partner is suggesting this then I suggest you run as far as you can as fast as you can, regardless of how likely it is to happen it is still indicative of an inexcusably broken attitude towards your relationship. sorry)
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Jan 9, 2019 22:31
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smdh if you guys are taking those lists seriously instead of using them to help you pick movies together to get you both riled up
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Jan 9, 2019 22:36
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There's a big difference between my wife telling me she developed a huge crush on Adrian Paul during her formative years watching the Highlander Series and will always have a soft spot for him vs my wife telling me that part of the terms of our marriage is that, if the chance were to ever come up, she will have groupie sex with Adrian Paul and even leave me if he were to be interested in something beyond a fan-gently caress.
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Jan 9, 2019 22:43
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:What's the collective noun for a whole lot of dicks? A bagful? Bouquet.
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Jan 9, 2019 22:47
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food court bailiff posted:smdh if you guys are taking those lists seriously instead of using them to help you pick movies together to get you both riled up some people are utterly serious about it, which is completely hosed up my list is always going to start with "that hosed up junkie down the train station, without a rubber, on your mother's quilt" and it ends with me grabbing my poo poo and leaving through the front door because I'm not a deranged masochist
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Jan 9, 2019 22:51
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