Spoilers thread: Spoiled Wrestling in Every Sense of the Term [no spoiler tags]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Spoilers thread: Spoiled Wrestling in Every Sense of the Term [no spoiler tags]

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SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

The_Rob posted:

But what about the zodiac???

Yes. No. Yes. No.

# ? Mar 4, 2019 17:46

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# ? May 1, 2024 13:20

super macho dude: Aug 9, 2014

smdh I'm reading Torrie apologists in tyool 2019

# ? Mar 4, 2019 21:33

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

Jubs posted:

How can they not induct Bigelow in New Jersey?

because they're in NEW YORK and you're not supposed to mention that they're not really in new york.

im just surprised sable hasnt gotten in yet.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 02:34

Vandar: Sep 14, 2007; Isn't That Right, Chairman?

STONE COLD 64 posted:

because they're in NEW YORK and you're not supposed to mention that they're not really in new york.

im just surprised sable hasnt gotten in yet.

Torrie at least knew the basics and could put on a decent enough match. She actually put in some work. Sable was entirely just eye-candy.

I'm more surprised that Torrie never held the belt. I could have sworn she held the title at some point or another but I guess not. Kind of weird, in retrospect.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 07:12

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; Out here, everything hurts.

Jubs posted:

How can they not induct Bigelow in New Jersey?

Dunno, why didn't they induct Vader or King Kong Bundy while they were alive?

# ? Mar 5, 2019 07:59

KungFu Grip: Jun 18, 2008

vince hates fat people

# ? Mar 5, 2019 08:23

Venomous: Nov 7, 2011

The Fed HOF isn�t based off merit, it�s based off who Vince likes more than anyone else, hence why Vader etc. will never be inducted

# ? Mar 5, 2019 11:50

DarkstarIV: Apr 6, 2010; OFFICIAL RACIST

Dave said on WOR that Lacey Evans is expected to start a feud with Natayla soon. And go over.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 15:22

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

Why doesn't Vince like Vader?

# ? Mar 5, 2019 15:54

Angry Grimace: Jul 29, 2010; ACTUALLY IT IS VERY GOOD THAT THE SHOW IS BAD AND ANYONE WHO DOESN'T REALIZE WHY THAT'S GOOD IS AN IDIOT. JUST ENJOY THE BAD SHOW INSTEAD OF THINKING.

DarkstarIV posted:

Dave said on WOR that Lacey Evans is expected to start a feud with Natayla soon. And go over.

Well yeah there�s no reason to start your first feud and then lose

# ? Mar 5, 2019 16:23

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

Vandar posted:

I'm more surprised that Torrie never held the belt. I could have sworn she held the title at some point or another but I guess not. Kind of weird, in retrospect.

eh, WCW was horrible to women wrestlers and never formally reinstated the title after Hokuto, so she never had a chance to get one there and there was no unification match they could do for the Invasion either

she spent most of her WWE career on the first brand split Smackdown, and the actual womens title was on Raw at that point, so there was no chance for that either. She retired before they put out the divas title as the parallel title too.

And when she did go to Raw, it was in the middle of the Trish/Lita hegemony so she wasnt getting it

# ? Mar 5, 2019 16:28

History Comes Inside!: Nov 20, 2004

VJeff posted:

Why doesn't Vince like Vader?

Fat and more popular in other companies.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 16:29

Truther Vandross: Jun 17, 2008

DarkstarIV posted:

Dave said on WOR that Lacey Evans is expected to start a feud with Natayla soon. And go over.

If they actually care about her, that's the best thing they could do.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 17:26

DarkstarIV: Apr 6, 2010; OFFICIAL RACIST

sportsgenius86 posted:

If they actually care about her, that's the best thing they could do.

I think the only question is how long would this feud run. Because if its a one or two match feud and then Lacey gets launched right into the Smackdown Women's Title scene or something, it still won't get people to care about Lacey one way or another. I'd run the feud through Wrestlemania, maybe with Lacey eliminating Natalya in the battle royal or something (if there is one for the women this year).

# ? Mar 5, 2019 17:29

Midnightghoul: Oct 1, 2003; COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED

DarkstarIV posted:

Dave said on WOR that Lacey Evans is expected to start a feud with Natayla soon. And go over.

My ideal scenario for this is a taped segment where Lacey breaks into Natalya's house and cooks Tyson and the cats a home cooked meal that they say is delicious

# ? Mar 5, 2019 18:04

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

Midnightghoul posted:

My ideal scenario for this is a taped segment where Lacey breaks into Natalya's house and cooks Tyson and the cats

I thought this was going a totally different direction.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 18:05

Pinche Rudo: Feb 8, 2005

Aphrodite posted:

I thought this was going a totally different direction.

Re enacting the Boss Man-Al Snow Pepper angle with 2pawz is guaranteed massive heat

# ? Mar 5, 2019 18:22

Djarum: Apr 1, 2004; by vyelkin

VJeff posted:

Why doesn't Vince like Vader?

It is because Vader isn't a Vince creation. He was even over ruled when he wanted to change his name and gimmick to "The Mastodon" when he first came to the WWF. He was a major star before and after his WWF run. Vince couldn't make money with someone everyone else could, so I am sure it is a bit of ego as well.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 18:33

Astro7x: Aug 4, 2004; Thinks It's All Real

DarkstarIV posted:

Dave said on WOR that Lacey Evans is expected to start a feud with Natayla soon. And go over.

Thanks to Dave for that wonderful insight that was probably based on Lacey walking out with Natalya on the ramp.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 19:23

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

Astro7x posted:

Thanks to Dave for that wonderful insight that was probably based on Lacey walking out with Natalya on the ramp.

Yes, literally what he said was that Natalya stared at her for awhile so that will probably lead to a Lacey/Natalya feud and Lacey will probably go over.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 19:25

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

Aphrodite posted:

I thought this was going a totally different direction.

Still a step up from her usual cooking.

# ? Mar 5, 2019 20:47

rovert: Jun 10, 2013

I assume if there's actually anything to this it relates to the return of Mustafa Ali after being cleared to wrestle and Wrestling on live events this weekend

https://twitter.com/WrestleVotes/status/1103018208930467841

# ? Mar 5, 2019 22:54

RealFoxy: May 11, 2011; I'm not making a fucking QCS thread for this but seriously can we take a harder stance on Kiwifarms freaks like this guy, Jesus Christ seriously, you used to be better at knocking these creeps down. I guess ADTRW mods aren't responsible like GBS mods are.

They need to keep Kofi's momentum while making sure that Mustafa isn't totally derailed and forgotten about immediately because he would make a good US Title level babyface, the smart thing to do is probably Kofi/Ali at fastlane in a babyface/babyface match that puts then build the rest towards KO/Kofi/Bryan? I honestly have no idea, WWE booking is so bipolar and random now that it should have started off different to begin with

# ? Mar 5, 2019 23:00

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

rovert posted:

I assume if there's actually anything to this it relates to the return of Mustafa Ali after being cleared to wrestle and Wrestling on live events this weekend

https://twitter.com/WrestleVotes/status/1103018208930467841

Any chance Asuka is hurt more than she said?

# ? Mar 6, 2019 00:19

Abroham Lincoln: Sep 19, 2011; Note to self: This one's the good one

The same guy tweeted a gif of Mustafa after, so I'm guessing they're gonna try and work him back in

# ? Mar 6, 2019 00:25

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

Mustfa Ali added to Becky vs. Charlotte. Good.

# ? Mar 6, 2019 00:30

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

VJeff posted:

Mustfa Ali added to Becky vs. Charlotte. Good.

He better hope he's never on camera next to Charlotte or Vince is sending him back to the Chicago PD. (Ali real short, y'all)

# ? Mar 6, 2019 00:33

the escape goat: Apr 16, 2008

RealFoxy posted:

They need to keep Kofi's momentum while making sure that Mustafa isn't totally derailed and forgotten about immediately because he would make a good US Title level babyface, the smart thing to do is probably Kofi/Ali at fastlane in a babyface/babyface match that puts then build the rest towards KO/Kofi/Bryan? I honestly have no idea, WWE booking is so bipolar and random now that it should have started off different to begin with

there�s no automatic rematch clause any longer so maybe they can do Ali v Kofi for a #1 contender deal?

which would OWN.

# ? Mar 6, 2019 01:34

Midnightghoul: Oct 1, 2003; COME ON DON'T BE SCURRED

rovert posted:

I assume if there's actually anything to this it relates to the return of Mustafa Ali after being cleared to wrestle and Wrestling on live events this weekend

https://twitter.com/WrestleVotes/status/1103018208930467841

Vince comes out again and says that KO is out, and Ali is in

# ? Mar 6, 2019 01:36

flashy_mcflash: Feb 7, 2011

RealFoxy posted:

They need to keep Kofi's momentum while making sure that Mustafa isn't totally derailed and forgotten about immediately because he would make a good US Title level babyface, the smart thing to do is probably Kofi/Ali at fastlane in a babyface/babyface match that puts then build the rest towards KO/Kofi/Bryan? I honestly have no idea, WWE booking is so bipolar and random now that it should have started off different to begin with

I think keep Ali away from the main event right now. There's still time for a great midcard feud with Joe or AJ, or give Ali the Andre Cup.

# ? Mar 6, 2019 01:56

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

flashy_mcflash posted:

I think keep Ali away from the main event right now. There's still time for a great midcard feud with Joe or AJ, or give Ali the Andre Cup.

Jesus, let's not go nuts, folks, slow down! What's next, a big push on Main Event? A feud with Tyler Breeze?

# ? Mar 6, 2019 02:13

flashy_mcflash: Feb 7, 2011

Gaz-L posted:

Jesus, let's not go nuts, folks, slow down! What's next, a big push on Main Event? A feud with Tyler Breeze?

It's Mustafa Ali. Call me a realist.

# ? Mar 6, 2019 02:20

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

Edge & Christian posted:

Forget Molly Holly, Torrie Wilson has been involved in some epic bouts in her star-studded career:

She made her debut as a woman literally purchased by the NWO to seduce David Flair against his father. She got David to turn on Ric, but soon after started canoodling with Billy Kidman. Torrie made her PPV wrestling debut getting punched in the groin by Perry Saturn and taking the pin in a Filthy Animals vs. The Revolution match at Mayhem 1999, and soon after was caught on the KIDKAM hitting on Eddie Guerrero. This led to tension between the Filthy Animals, but she and Kidman patched things up long enough to turn heel together as part of The New Blood, though their rekindled relationship didn't last long because she apparently wanted to have sex with both Horace and Hulk Hogan. She eventually turned on Kidman because she couldn't stop thinking about the time Hulk Hogan forced a kiss on her in the ring, which made her really horny.

Then she turned on Kidman against a month later to hook up with Shane Douglas, and won her first match, a prestigious first ever mixed-tag scaffold match at Fall Brawl 2000. She was a double pioneer four weeks later when she participated in the first ever "Down Underwear" match, though unfortunately she was stripped to her bra and panties in under two minutes.

It seemed as if Wilson's grappling career was over when WCW released her at the end of 2000, but she burst back onto the scene having sex with Vince McMahon in June 2001. She then lost the first-ever Interpromotional Bra and Panties Tag Team Match, at Invasion 2001. Torrie got a measure of revenge by defeating Trish Stratus in a Paddle on a Pole Spanking match the next night.

She turned face a few months into the Invasion by dating Taijiri, and was riding high through the remainder of 2001: she picked up a victory in a Lingerie Match against Stacey Kiebler at No Mercy 2001, and continued her dominance of Stacey across six months in an Egg Nog Match, and a Bikini Match. But then Taijiri turned heel and decided that Torrie was too sexy, so she had to stop speaking and wear a geisha outfit. In a move straight out of the Women's Evolution, Torrie eventually had enough of the foreigner's heelish conservativism and decided to get up and do a striptease on the announce table, turning face again and costing her ex-boyfriend the match.

To prove she had her mojo back, she beat Stacey Kiebler again in a final Bra & Panties match in the summer of 2002.

The Torrie Train kept rolling in 2002 as she went 3-0 in her trilogy of matches against Dawn Marie, though I guess her dad got hosed to death in that feud so there were no true winners, though it did result in a historic first-ever Stepmother vs. Stepdaughter match that was remarkably contested under traditional wrestling rules, one fall to a finish.

Her winning streak was broken only a week after her blowoff Valentine's Day Bra & Panties victory (no doubt booked because the pinfall in the previous Dawn Marie match disappointed fans) when she lost her signature match (Paddle on a Pole) to Nidia, who was jealous of Torrie for being chosen to be in Playboy. The Playboy jealousy continued as Sable made her return, culminating in a Bikini Contest that Torrie won. Gracious in her victory, she kissed Sable on the lips and the two suggested they might do a lesbian Playboy shoot in the future.

Then she managed Billy Gunn for like two months in between him being The rear end Man and Billy & Chuck. She briefly feuded with Shaniqua before jealousy reared its ugly head again and Torrie and Sable had to stand up to Stacy Kiebler and Jackie Gayda, who were double-jealous of the concept that Wilson and fellow future HOFer Sable were going to pose in Playboy TWICE when neither of them had been allowed to get naked even once. These two non-Playboy-models were punished for their arrogance in a Playboy Evening Gown match, easily one of the top six most memorable matches from Wrestlemania 20. Then she beat Dawn Marie again, because Dawn Marie was still jealous of her. Then Sable turned heel on her (you know how women wrestlers before they evolved were!) and Torrie won that feud as well.

That's only the first half of her illustrious WWE career and I swear to god I thought she'd left some time around Wrestlemania 20 as opposed to sticking around until 2008. That kind of staying power just proves what a Hall of Famer she is! She managed Jimmy Wang Yang! She was in a "Wet and Wild Squirt Gun" match! She liberated Kenzo Suzuki's geisha valet by stripping her kimono off! She was in a stable called Vince's Devils that I learned today was real, and involved Torrie Wilson!

I'm just saying, the fact that eternal jobbers like Koko B. Ware or Big Boss Man or King Harley Race got in before Torrie is a travesty.

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten, but . . . I really like Torrie Wilson.

# ? Mar 6, 2019 02:29

Astro7x: Aug 4, 2004; Thinks It's All Real

So plans change. Looks like Lacey Evans will be feuding with Carmella for her first feud

# ? Mar 6, 2019 03:48

Accident Underwater: Oct 21, 2005; You look like a star!

Astro7x posted:

So plans change. Looks like Lacey Evans will be feuding with Carmella for her first feud

R Truth is available for a feud now

# ? Mar 6, 2019 03:53

rovert: Jun 10, 2013

Astro7x posted:

So plans change. Looks like Lacey Evans will be feuding with Carmella for her first feud

Or Meltzer was just doing guesswork.

# ? Mar 6, 2019 04:46

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

"Plans change" is a dig at Meltzer.

# ? Mar 6, 2019 04:57

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

So Ciampa's neck is apparently totally hosed, and he's out of Takeover plus out anywhere from 6 months to over a year.

Edit: Oh I see this was posted in the main thread.

Aphrodite fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Mar 6, 2019

# ? Mar 6, 2019 15:09

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

It's insane that we're a month out from Mania and basically have only one match properly announced.

This is usually fun anyway, so here's my best guess right now:

Raw Women's Championship
"Rowdy" Ronda Rousey (c) vs "The Man" Becky Lynch vs "The Queen" Charlotte Flair

Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) (w/ Paul E Heyman) vs Seth Rollins (w/ THE BIG DOG and THE LUNATIC FRINGE?)

WWE Championship (AKA Weedbelt)
Daniel Bryan (c) (w/ The Vintner) vs Kofi Kingston (w/ Xavier Woods & Big E) vs Mustafa Ali vs Kevin Owens

US Championship
Samoa Joe (c) vs JOHN CENA

Intercontinental Championship
Finn Balor (c) vs Drew McIntyre

Smackdown Women's Championship
Asuka(c) vs Mandy Rose vs Lacey Evans

The Shield (Reigns/Ambrose) & BRAUN vs Elias, Baron Corbin & Bobby Lashley

Smackdown Tag Team Championship
The Usos (c) vs The Hardy Boyz vs The Bar vs The New Day (Big E/Woods)

Raw Tag Team Championship
The Revival (c) vs Ricochet/Aleister Black vs Gable/Roode vs Heavy Machinery

Women's Tag Team Championship
The Boss 'n' Hug Connection (c) vs Nia Jax/Tamina vs The Iiconics vs Sky Pirates

Cruiserweight Championship
Buddy Murphy (c) vs Cedric Alexander

Andre Battle Royal

Women's Battle Royal

***
This poo poo is going to be 14 hours long, folks.

# ? Mar 7, 2019 02:39

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# ? May 1, 2024 13:20

Angry Grimace: Jul 29, 2010; ACTUALLY IT IS VERY GOOD THAT THE SHOW IS BAD AND ANYONE WHO DOESN'T REALIZE WHY THAT'S GOOD IS AN IDIOT. JUST ENJOY THE BAD SHOW INSTEAD OF THINKING.

If they were putting Lacey in that match she would be wrestling by now.

I�m guessing Sonya and Mandy in a handicap match for Asuka.

# ? Mar 7, 2019 02:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Spoilers thread: Spoiled Wrestling in Every Sense of the Term [no spoiler tags]

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