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Qubee posted:Totally unrelated note: I'm not sure if it's cyclical and women just taste different / smell different during different periods of their cycle, or if it could be an indication of something going wrong. I've been with my current gf for just over a month, and she used to taste amazing and it was fine (she's on the pill). But just before her period and just after, she's gotten a sort of funky, unpleasant taste and strong smell. I don't want to say anything, and I soldier through it, but it makes me focus more on her clit instead of using my tongue all over her down there. Will she go back to tasting how she did when she was in the middle of her cycle? Should I just keep my mouth shut about it so I don't hurt her feelings? I managed a 4 year relationship with my ex and she always tasted and smelled awful down there, and my experience is pretty limited. So is this the norm? It’s always changed with my partners, and yes, it’s super tied to women’s hormonal and menstrual cycles- and yes, it could be a sign of something bad so it’s good to be informed and proactive about that poo poo. Sometimes the same vagina can taste and smell (and discharge) totally differently over the course of a few weeks or even over different seasons. But I’ve also noticed it changing when partners have tried different soaps, different diets, wearing different kinds of underwear, whether or not they’re dehydrated, whether they showered right before we had sex, etc- which is why I’m a firm believer in saying poo poo and not burying it, as long as you do it in a manner that’s sensitive to your partner and doesn’t body-shame them. It may be the case that your current gf is going through some ph changes. It may be that this is her natural state when she’s bumping uglies straight from work and isn’t gussying herself up for a first or second date. The only way you can figure this out and figure out a solution for both of y’all is by talking about it. The last thing you want to have happen is for it to become a thing where months go by and it eventually comes out, and it also comes out that you were hiding it the entire time. Maybe you’re not as enthusiastic about going down on her as she’d like you to be and she calls you on it. Maybe one day you swallow something that you don’t want to and she catches you making a face. Maybe you catch yourself asking for oral less in an effort to get her to ask for it less in return. Think about how she’ll feel when looking back at your sexual history together. Did he really enjoy himself the first time or was he faking it for me? Has he always hated my smelly vag? Is there anything really up or is he just being an rear end in a top hat guy who wants to get out of giving oral now that we’ve been together for a while? Kudos for being GGG but know that it isn’t your place to just shut up and do the needful. No genitals should be expected to taste or smell 100% amazing 100% of the time but nobody, regardless of gender, should expect discomfort as a key aspect of satisfying their partner. Be upfront and polite and enthusiastic and reiterate just how much you love going down on her, and how wonderful you find her bits. Tell her that you enjoy it very much, and that the taste/smell in general has been excellent, but recently, in this specific moment, maybe because of her period, she’s got a little bit of stuff going on that you’d like to take care of. Maybe you both need to freshen up from work and wouldn’t it be fun to mess around in the shower? Honestly, in my experience it takes like a minute of rinsing it off in the shower to take care of pungent mucus. Other things to consider- my ex used to be most pungent when she was dehydrated and stuff down there was most concentrated, often at the very beginning of sex. As she would become lubricated, things would dilute and that pungency and taste would go away. Try using your fingers or a toy first. Maybe do some PIV. Maybe consider having her climax once before going down on her if she’s somebody who gets really wet when orgasming. When you’re going down on her, use your fingers/toy/dick to stir that poo poo up. Unless it’s specific to something in her secretions (which is a total possibility) the new fluids will probably be way less offensive than the old. Another thing that’s worked for me is diluting your partner’s taste with saliva or water. Get a lot of spit going and that tends to improve the taste and consistency of stuff.
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Mar 12, 2019 03:21
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Is there a thumb rule on how often you should masturbate to avoid the whole death grip issue in the first place? Every two days?
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Mar 12, 2019 15:01
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Electric Bugaloo your advice was 10/10, will talk to her about it cause the scenario you painted where months down the line she has crippling worry over the thought of me going down on her despite not digging it 100% makes me feel terriblePoil posted:Is there a thumb rule on how often you should masturbate to avoid the whole death grip issue in the first place? Every two days? I don't think it's masturbation that's the issue (unless you're death gripping). You can masturbate really lightly and be fine. It's the porn that really fucks you up. I'm so used to porn that when you're doing the real thing, you're not being obliterated with dopamine like you're used to. Like just the camera angles you're used to and seeing things from a different perspective, from my own (limited) experience, it's hard to emulate that. I think if you masturbate lightly and only use your imagination, you're not screwing yourself over. It's the constant dopamine rush of switching between tonnes of different women / videos that makes things fucky.
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Mar 12, 2019 15:40
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Qubee posted:Electric Bugaloo your advice was 10/10, will talk to her about it cause the scenario you painted where months down the line she has crippling worry over the thought of me going down on her despite not digging it 100% makes me feel terrible If you find your mind drifting off to porn, while you're having sex, or trying to imagine some scene to help you cum, well you've got a porn addiction. Those were things that would happen to me. Had to relearn and retrain my brain for the physical sensation of a person with me, and also learn to let go of the worry associated with not living up to expectations. I'm not going to lie and says you'll be 100 percent over night but I absolutely God drat guarantee if you quit watching porn to self stimulate and approach sex as just having fun, you'll be okay man!
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Mar 12, 2019 16:58
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Qubee posted:I don't think it's masturbation that's the issue (unless you're death gripping). You can masturbate really lightly and be fine. It's the porn that really fucks you up. I'm so used to porn that when you're doing the real thing, you're not being obliterated with dopamine like you're used to. Like just the camera angles you're used to and seeing things from a different perspective, from my own (limited) experience, it's hard to emulate that. I think if you masturbate lightly and only use your imagination, you're not screwing yourself over. It's the constant dopamine rush of switching between tonnes of different women / videos that makes things fucky.
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Mar 12, 2019 17:39
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Kazvall posted:If you find your mind drifting off to porn, while you're having sex, or trying to imagine some scene to help you cum, well you've got a porn addiction. Those were things that would happen to me. Had to relearn and retrain my brain for the physical sensation of a person with me, and also learn to let go of the worry associated with not living up to expectations. I'm not going to lie and says you'll be 100 percent over night but I absolutely God drat guarantee if you quit watching porn to self stimulate and approach sex as just having fun, you'll be okay man! I'm definitely in the moment when I'm with her, my mind doesn't drift off to porn. I don't try to imagine scenes to help me cum. I guess I'm just used to being spoiled by having whatever position / view I want, but in the bedroom I'm a bit more reserved cause I kinda can't shake feeling bad when I'm getting her to pose for me. I guess you could say I try to reenact stuff I've seen in porn, cause I know I like it. That being said, I definitely have been watching and consuming way too much porn, so I'm cutting that off. I think it's just a lovely mix of masturbating too much / using porn and growing up in a repressed, religious environment where sex is made out to be bad, and some of those feelings carry over to the bedroom. I also need to stop worrying so much, which is easier said than done. A lot of mental hurdles I gotta overcome, but I've always been super uptight and anally retentive, so it's hard to just live in the moment. It drives people crazy cause I'm always thinking 5 steps down the line and they're like "just chill, we'll take it as it comes". Using this thread to vent and realise I'm not abnormal has definitely helped loads. I'll be busting nuts in honour of all you lot, like pouring a glass out for a friend, but the disgusting version. Qubee fucked around with this message at 18:00 on Mar 12, 2019 |
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Mar 12, 2019 17:55
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Qubee posted:She said "how would you feel if I stopped you every time from making me finish because I thought it'd take too long?" and she assured me she wouldn't mind taking an hour to help me get off. I reckon I struck gold, cause previous partners have never been this considerate or caring. I've had to physically stop her from going down on me cause after 10 minutes, I just start to feel bad thinking it's not enjoyable for her at that point, and exes used to hit me with the "how long will this take? are you almost there?" and then eventually give up. She's a trooper and tells me to suck a dick before continuing. Congratulations on finding a partner who cares about you having a good time too. I'd say don't feel guilty - enjoy it, and trust your partner to know their limits and tell you when they've had enough. And of course repay the favor when its your turn. Qubee posted:Totally unrelated note: I'm not sure if it's cyclical and women just taste different / smell different during different periods of their cycle, or if it could be an indication of something going wrong. I've been with my current gf for just over a month, and she used to taste amazing and it was fine (she's on the pill). But just before her period and just after, she's gotten a sort of funky, unpleasant taste and strong smell. I don't want to say anything, and I soldier through it, but it makes me focus more on her clit instead of using my tongue all over her down there. Will she go back to tasting how she did when she was in the middle of her cycle? Should I just keep my mouth shut about it so I don't hurt her feelings? I managed a 4 year relationship with my ex and she always tasted and smelled awful down there, and my experience is pretty limited. So is this the norm? In my experience taste and smell are constantly changing based on a whole array of variables. If it really bothers you ask her to clean up a bit in the shower first - generally speaking I always make a point to clean up down there within 15-20 minutes of oral sex, and while you shouldn't make a big deal out of unpleasant taste or odors you also shouldn't have to put up with either if its causing you discomfort. If either are still present after cleaning up you may need to find an alternative method of getting her off while she's on her period - manual stimulation, use a toy, etc. or else just focus on the clit and leave her vagina alone.
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Mar 12, 2019 18:20
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Porn has about as much in common with normal sex lives as Fast and Furious has with driving to work in the morning. It's artifice designed to be entertaining and show off as much eye candy as possible and should not be taken as a road map to bone town
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Mar 12, 2019 18:20
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Always remember that porn is people being paid to pretend that whatever they're doing is the most fun they've had, no matter what's actually going on.
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Mar 13, 2019 02:19
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purple death ray posted:Porn has about as much in common with normal sex lives as Fast and Furious has with driving to work in the morning. It's artifice designed to be entertaining and show off as much eye candy as possible and should not be taken as a road map to bone town That used to be true, but it feels like now people of both sexes have been totally raised on internet porn to the point where everybody is trying to recapture it in the sack. At what point does it just becomes what sex is?
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Mar 13, 2019 02:41
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purple death ray posted:Porn has about as much in common with normal sex lives as Fast and Furious has with driving to work in the morning. It's artifice designed to be entertaining and show off as much eye candy as possible and should not be taken as a road map to bone town Road map to bonetown would be a great thread title.
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Mar 13, 2019 03:01
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Origami Dali posted:That used to be true, but it feels like now people of both sexes have been totally raised on internet porn to the point where everybody is trying to recapture it in the sack. At what point does it just becomes what sex is? Plus, that doesn’t account for a lot of the variety of stuff there is out there. Like, people legit just film themselves having sex with their partners now and put it on a marketplace and if you’re at all queer or queer-adjacent (kink, etc) then that’s something you’re probably at least aware of. And like, I can say that videos of women getting themselves off helped me get a lot better at getting my partners off.
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Mar 13, 2019 03:46
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Amateur porn is truly the silver lining of the internet
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Mar 13, 2019 03:58
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purple death ray posted:Amateur porn is truly the silver lining of the internet It's honestly way better than the pro stuff.
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Mar 13, 2019 04:16
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Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
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Qubee posted:Please share your wisdom. How do I use pillows. Use it to prop her back up? If I'm trying to go at it missionary, her hips being raised will still leave me with the "I'm way too tall and my chest is smacking into her face" issue. I'm 6'1 300lbs my gf is 4'11 125 You put the pillows under her butt until it's waist level. Your chest should not be smacking her in the face in this position unless you have the most pendulous titties in existence.
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Mar 13, 2019 04:48
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purple death ray posted:Amateur porn is truly the silver lining of the internet I remember a while back there was a goon who worked in the industry posting in Ask/Tell who said that most "amateur porn" was just regular porn shot that way for people who were into that.
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Mar 13, 2019 12:17
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Cat Army
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MightyJoe36 posted:I remember a while back there was a goon who worked in the industry posting in Ask/Tell who said that most "amateur porn" was just regular porn shot that way for people who were into that. Not anymore. I mean, a lot of it is people who might otherwise consider going into sexwork in another capacity, but we’re way past the days where everything “amateur” was really just pro shoots with lovely cameras. A lot of the funding comes from the same places/a lot of the providers are the same but technology and changing attitudes really have made it much more accessible for people to shoot something and have it uploaded and making money immediately. A lot of it depends too on where you’re looking. As an example: the explosion in amateur webcam platforms over the last decade is half-dependent on American millennials amenable to doing gig-economy sexwork in their bedrooms and half-dependent on businesses in places like Latin America and Eastern Europe that just employ dozens-to-hundreds of people to cam for them.
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Mar 13, 2019 12:34
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On the topic of amateur porn, do these amateur couples who upload videos to Pornhub actually get paid by Pornhub a la Youtube adsense? Or do they just use it as a platform to gain a lot of followers who then go on to buy personalized videos / photosets, etc?
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Mar 13, 2019 13:43
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Pornhub pays them
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Mar 13, 2019 13:52
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Origami Dali posted:Pornhub pays them Then I suppose technically they're professionals.
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Mar 13, 2019 15:07
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Qubee posted:On the topic of amateur porn, do these amateur couples who upload videos to Pornhub actually get paid by Pornhub a la Youtube adsense? Or do they just use it as a platform to gain a lot of followers who then go on to buy personalized videos / photosets, etc? From my understanding its based on view counts, at a rate of roughly $0.60/1000 views. The top performers make enough to pay for a modest apartment and support a decent lifestyle. And there is a decent amount of crossover of the more successful couples to other amateur production services like manyvids or clips4sale - which operate on a more direct sales/commission model.
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Mar 13, 2019 16:01
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From what I understand a lotta people are dumb and think they’ll make a ton of money doing it (same way with YouTube) but only a few are lucky/good/smart enough/have enough other irons in the fire to make it a viable career, let alone lucrative. Many want to use it to break into the “main” industry and still have a platform they can control. And a lotta other people are into it just for kink or exhibitionism and like the fact that they can be paid for it rather than just having their poo poo pirated or not go through the trouble at all. I know one person who uses their porn income for “weed and toy money”
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Mar 13, 2019 16:11
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And just like art, if you cater to niche enough fetishes, you can charge astronomical amounts of money to desperate people who want you to film yourself stepping in yogurt or whatever. VV loving this post next to your av purple death ray fucked around with this message at 17:22 on Mar 13, 2019 |
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Mar 13, 2019 17:07
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purple death ray posted:And just like art, if you cater to niche enough fetishes, you can charge astronomical amounts of money to desperate people who want you to film yourself stepping in yogurt or whatever.
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Mar 13, 2019 17:17
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speaking of pornhub i've been hearing about people doing non porn stuff on it, how does that get past the people running it? They are clearly okay with it but is it like twitch where they used to crack down and now say it's fine because at least the ratio of "on brand" content will naturally balance out?
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Mar 13, 2019 21:56
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Alan Smithee posted:speaking of pornhub i've been hearing about people doing non porn stuff on it, how does that get past the people running it? They are clearly okay with it but is it like twitch where they used to crack down and now say it's fine because at least the ratio of "on brand" content will naturally balance out? I'm guessing Rule 34 gets applied in reverse: no matter what it is, someone somewhere is using it as porn.
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Mar 14, 2019 08:41
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For guys like me who are extremely sexually inexperienced and have / had difficulties keeping their erection and / or climaxing, position is key, and so is laying off the masturbation and porn. Don't despair, I genuinely thought my dick was broken and I'd be stuck in a life of no climaxes, but there's hope. Was constantly going limp, had barely any sensation, and it was slowly chiselling away at my masculinity. Didn't masturbate for 3 days or look at porn, and used a position where she's on top and I'm lying down. Sensation was much, much better, and almost let me climax but I ended up finishing myself off with my hands. Was also able to stay hard for the entire time. If you need visual stimulation, mirrors are lifesavers. My partner told me I can look in the mirror to see what I'm doing to her and it was 10/10, best experience, would do it again. Was sorta surreal seeing myself doing the dirty, but the view was better than any Swiss landscape. Now I understand why some people get mirrors put above their beds. Also, don't try and force positions you suck at, I kept resorting to doggy cause it was the easiest for me and what I knew, but I was pretty crap at it. Letting her take control when she's more experienced is better, and if you like emotional intimacy and being close, you can't beat her on top (and best part is height doesn't matter when you're lying down). Ego restored, confidence boosted, turns out I was wrong all along and sex is actually pretty great. I'm also really glad I managed to shed all self consciousness and anxiety and just let loose. Made it way better when I wasn't constantly thinking negative things about myself and has brought us really close and comfort levels are at an all-time high. Amen and papa bless to all the people in this thread who helped me. Would probably be stuck in the same rut if it weren't for you guys. Feels good knowing it's only gonna keep getting better. Qubee fucked around with this message at 13:21 on Mar 14, 2019 |
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Mar 14, 2019 13:17
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Holy poo poo, that's awesome. Glad to hear everything worked out!
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Mar 14, 2019 15:57
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Sex Questions Megathread III: turns out I was wrong all along and sex is actually pretty great
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Mar 14, 2019 17:27
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Yeah the only thing that can be really guaranteed to make you better at sex is to have more sex. And when you’re in that honeymoon phase is the best time to lean into practicing and learning as much as you can. The first year with my most recent ex is probably my favorite time in my life so far because we were having sex all the time and the sex was getting appreciably better all the time too. The same ‘newbie gains’ principle that applies to poo poo like weightlifting and driving stick applies to poo poo like giving your partner an orgasm or experimenting with different positions. And as the sex gets better, you’re (hopefully) encouraged to have more sex. But you have to be enthusiastic about learning and getting better, which is surprisingly difficult for some people.
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Mar 14, 2019 17:32
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Geoj posted:The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Sex Questions Megathread III: turns out I was wrong all along and sex is actually pretty great PLEASE let this be the new thread title.
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Mar 14, 2019 17:39
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Fake edit:  100% ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Qubee posted:If you need visual stimulation, mirrors are lifesavers. My partner told me I can look in the mirror to see what I'm doing to her and it was 10/10, best experience, would do it again. Was sorta surreal seeing myself doing the dirty, but the view was better than any Swiss landscape. I always thought mirrors were just like, a joke, but then the first time I did it in front of a mirror my mind was blown. Even if y'all don't need visual stimulation, go gently caress in front of a mirror. It's most excellent. Electric Bugaloo posted:The same ‘newbie gains’ principle that applies to poo poo like weightlifting and driving stick applies to poo poo like giving your partner an orgasm or experimenting with different positions. I had to read this sentence like three times before I realized you weren't equating driving stick to giving your partner better orgasms 
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Mar 14, 2019 17:39
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Johnny Truant posted:I had to read this sentence like three times before I realized you weren't equating driving stick to giving your partner better orgasms I mean, as with driving stick- generally the more thought and care you put into it the more potential and gains you unlock but also you want to get it down to intuition and cerebral “muscle memory” to a large extent and stay out of your own head to really enjoy it. But yeah no, driving stick hasn’t made me any better at sex except that maybe it’s improved the muscle tone in my lower calves a bit.
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Mar 14, 2019 17:59
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Johnny Truant posted:I had to read this sentence like three times before I realized you weren't equating driving stick to giving your partner better orgasms Same thing, isn't it? Don't yank it around all over the place or change gear unless you have to; make sure your grip is secure but go easy on the clutch; don't be afraid to supplement your technique with a bit of oral action, but not while approaching a busy crossing, and so on.
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Mar 14, 2019 18:46
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Jedit posted:Same thing, isn't it? Don't yank it around all over the place or change gear unless you have to; make sure your grip is secure but go easy on the clutch; don't be afraid to supplement your technique with a bit of oral action, but not while approaching a busy crossing, and so on. You're shifting gears with your mouth?
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Mar 14, 2019 19:38
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KillHour posted:You're shifting gears with your mouth? You want me to take my feet off the wheel?
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Mar 14, 2019 23:40
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Jedit posted:You want me to take my feet off the wheel? Grossest car ever.
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Mar 14, 2019 23:53
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Alan Smithee posted:speaking of pornhub i've been hearing about people doing non porn stuff on it, how does that get past the people running it? They are clearly okay with it but is it like twitch where they used to crack down and now say it's fine because at least the ratio of "on brand" content will naturally balance out? It doesn't get past, it's a thing they jokingly directly offer to do sometimes. Pornhub has a very strong stance on what they believe to be freedom of speech and expression. They tried to run a superbowl ad in 2013 that was just two old people sitting on a park bench for 30 seconds, and CBS refused because doing business with a porn company might run them afoul of the FCC. That was the point. Liquid Communism fucked around with this message at 03:54 on Mar 15, 2019 |
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Mar 15, 2019 03:51
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Jedit posted:You want me to take my feet off the wheel? I actually knew a woman who was born with no arms and used to drive with her feet.
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Mar 15, 2019 12:16
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Our (gf and I) 6th year anniversary is coming up and I'm planning to surprise my GF with a hitachi magic wand. Good idea?
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Mar 15, 2019 15:42
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