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Welcome to the GBS infirmary thread. Please check in and mark your primary care provider. Go ahead and take a seat until one of our nurses calls your name.  Yesterday I had Panda Express at the mall and noticed there was a roach on the wall that no one paid attention to. I was lazy enough to still eat my food because if there’s one there, the whole food court is probably infested and I was hungry. Anywho now I have the Hershey squirts (for like literally the first time in a decade) and I’m barfing like crazy. The higher powers have provided me a sympathetic roommate and she’s helping me out today. I’m pretty hungry but I don’t wanna barf or poop it all out so violently. Post about your current illnesses, real or imagined.
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Apr 18, 2019 18:57
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I have AIDS
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Apr 18, 2019 18:59
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i;m also retard
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Apr 18, 2019 19:00
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I have now successfully pooped for the 4th time today buglord that can’t be good right?
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Apr 18, 2019 19:01
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Nooner posted:I have AIDS We only have a few resources here to fix that. I can ask if we have spare batteries in the back. Could you pull out one of them out of your ear and let me see?
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Apr 18, 2019 19:01
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I too am an aids filled retard
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Apr 18, 2019 19:02
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I have a group of mental disorders that'd require years of cognitive behavior therapy as well as someone dialectic therapy to remain in conscious control of my thoughts and actions you got a pill or something I can take?
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Apr 18, 2019 19:03
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Is this the thread where goons with script pads are giving away opioids?
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Apr 18, 2019 19:04
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:I have now successfully pooped for the 4th time today buglord that can’t be good right? A cool life hack is going to the corner store and buying a bottle of wine and petroleum jelly. DONT drink the wine or jelly. Simply remove the cork, coat it with a generous amount of jelly, and insert it into your anus until half way in. Lay on your side, legs down.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:04
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BlackStar posted:Is this the thread where goons with script pads are giving away opioids? This guy knows what’s up
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Apr 18, 2019 19:04
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BlackStar posted:Is this the thread where goons with script pads are giving away opioids? Sir I’m afraid we cannot legally provide you any more of the following medications. Over the past 30 days, you’ve received 473 pills of these medications from various hospitals and urgent care centers statewide.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:07
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Doc my erection has lasted more than 4 hours.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:09
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Nooner posted:i;m also retard
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Apr 18, 2019 19:10
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Nooner posted:i;m also retard my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:I too am an aids filled retard Palliative care cannot cure these issues, however your quality of posting can still remain high with the proper exercise and treatment. I’m assigning you both to 6 GBS posts per day, or 5 FYAD posts daily if the side effects of the former are too discomforting.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:11
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Jose Oquendo posted:Doc my erection has lasted more than 4 hours. We don’t have any staff here which can treat you, but I can write you a referral to the Dick Sucking Factory where they can fix that as soon as this afternoon. Should I place a call and tell them you’re on your way?
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Apr 18, 2019 19:13
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buglord posted:We don’t have any staff here which can treat you, but I can write you a referral to the Dick Sucking Factory where they can fix that as soon as this afternoon. Should I place a call and tell them you’re on your way? I don't know if I can make it that long. Can you treat me instead?
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Apr 18, 2019 19:14
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I'm fat, give me amphetamines.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:14
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Jose Oquendo posted:I don't know if I can make it that long. Can you treat me instead? Nigmaetcetera posted:I'm fat, give me amphetamines.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:16
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Jose Oquendo posted:I don't know if I can make it that long. Can you treat me instead? *smashes out my teeth with a hammer* Make my face pregnant
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Apr 18, 2019 19:16
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buglord posted:Let’s step over here and get your height and weight first please. Shoes off. 6'2", 330 lbs, now make with the desoxyn, chop-chop
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Apr 18, 2019 19:17
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:*smashes out my teeth with a hammer* *nervously trades glances with other receptionists. places hand underneath the desk and hovers finger over panic button*
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Apr 18, 2019 19:18
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Can someone please write me a prescription for assisted suicide?
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Apr 18, 2019 19:20
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Nigmaetcetera posted:6'2", 330 lbs, now make with the desoxyn, chop-chop Tell me about your eating habits and exercise. I believe we can achieve a better outcome if we tackle these issues first. After 4 months of following the routine I’ve printed out, we can see your progress and go from there.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:21
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My bees have stopped
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Apr 18, 2019 19:21
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:Can someone please write me a prescription for assisted suicide? We believe you are experiencing a mental health crisis. Please call your country’s respective emergency number and administer images of goatse.cx to yourself repeatedly until paramedics show up.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:23
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I brought some extra in case you need a bigger sample *slams three full piss jugs on counter*
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Apr 18, 2019 19:25
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im gay
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Apr 18, 2019 19:28
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buglord posted:Tell me about your eating habits and exercise. I believe we can achieve a better outcome if we tackle these issues first. After 4 months of following the routine I’ve printed out, we can see your progress and go from there. gently caress this I'm ordering phentermine from an online pharmacy
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Apr 18, 2019 19:28
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I’m back to feeling barfy, someone else be the doctor while I’m gone
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Apr 18, 2019 19:30
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My dick is always hard but nobody will suck it also I frequently feel the almost overwhelming urge to eat ladies asses like some kind of rectal vampire.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:30
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*doc notices my hand on his thigh during prostate exam* *inserts 3rd finger*
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Apr 18, 2019 19:31
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buglord posted:I’m back to feeling barfy, someone else be the doctor while I’m gone chug some mayo to fix your upset tummy I'm a doctor
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Apr 18, 2019 19:31
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buglord posted:I’m back to feeling barfy, someone else be the doctor while I’m gone *Dr. B. McCoy exits the operating room covered in blood and smiling widely* Whose next?
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Apr 18, 2019 19:35
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My main concern is that it's been at least one complete lunar cycle since I hung out with any of my rectal vampire friends, which makes me think that there's a stealth rectal vampire that's managed to make their way into my (fairly exclusive) inner circle.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:39
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I'm the guy who sucks Plus I got depression
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Apr 18, 2019 19:42
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im making GBS threads like a firehose, and have been for the last 12 months since the surgery my kidneys were also failing pls help
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Apr 18, 2019 19:43
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buglord posted:A cool life hack is going to the corner store and buying a bottle of wine and petroleum jelly. DONT drink the wine or jelly. Simply remove the cork, coat it with a generous amount of jelly, and insert it into your anus until half way in. Lay on your side, legs down. i drank the wine and ate the cork and vaseline the bottle is jammed up my b hole but its rapidly filling with poop and im unsure how to proceed
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Apr 18, 2019 19:44
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I'm Mr. McGreg, I have a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:49
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:i drank the wine and ate the cork and vaseline the bottle is jammed up my b hole but its rapidly filling with poop and im unsure how to proceed Clench your rear end enough and the glass will eventually just break. Shouldn’t be too hard to pick a few pieces of it out of your rear end while it’s still gaping. Make sure your film it and put it on the internet.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:49
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:Clench your rear end enough and the glass will eventually just break. Shouldn’t be too hard to pick a few pieces of it out of your rear end while it’s still gaping. Your user name suggests you have experience in this. As usual the doctor doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
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Apr 18, 2019 19:50
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