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the ruels of this game is, you make posts, but here are the rules: 1) no ref to pipe-weed, because that's way too obvious, you want to make obvious jokes? byob is not the place for you buster. Punishment: Probation 2) the following races do not smoke weed, canonically: ents (too obvious), orcs (too racist). if you write a post saying one of them smokes weed, Punishment: Probation 3) marijuana is a powerful psychoactive drug that causes numerous health problems, including inducing schizophrenia, chronic bronchitis etc., particularly among the young (<25 years old), i can't stress this enough: please do not sugarcoat these effects by makineg marijuana seem like a "fun drug": Punishment: Probation 4) avg. THC concentration in Middle Earth Weed. As some of you mauy know, the average THC concentration in weed and weed products has been rising steadily since the 90s. in the 90s, it was 3.7-7.5%, and now its 9.6-16%, so 2 or 3x as potent, and that's not even getting into Dabs and Wax, which can range between 50-80% THC. (source: drugabuse.gov) So you might think, in Middle Earth the concentrations would probably be in the lower range, but remember, that they have magic and both elves and hobbits are steeped in herbological lore. Final ruling is, METHCP (Middle-Earth THC Percentage) is 11-22% for stragith weed, depending on whether merch, mids, or kind buds, and UP TO 99% for some weird elvish poo poo that Elrond or whoever uses at elf parties. So please adjust your "trip reports" accordingly. Punishment for describing a Middle Earth High that is not accurate w/r/t THC potency: Warning. Repeated infractions = Probation 5) Presence of other drugs, heroin, meth, molly, amyl nitrate (poppers), benzos, spice, etc. decided on a case by case basis, post at your own risk and if I tell you to stop, stop or Punishment00: probation 6) rememver that marijuana is a multi BILLION dollar industry which was black market onlky for a long time and is now grey-market in the us at least, people still get killed over it and the weed you smoke is probably soaked in the blood of a humboldt county mexican undocumented worker or, if it is government weed, the casulaties of a 40 year long drug-war which really serves as a justificatory arm of american imperial oppression of former european colonies, but regardless like all huge industries UNDER CAPITALISM it is deeply involved in and in fact cannot function without brutal exploitation, tremendous amounts of pollution, and so forth. Please do not ignore this reality when making jokes about if middle earth had weed, because the best jokes are based on the truth. Punishment; Probation 7) characters may smoke or ingest weed for medicinal purposes such as crohns disease, clinically significant anxiety, IBS, cancer, regular every day anxiety, hiv/aids, multiple sclerosis, that weird kind of anxiety you get when you start worrying that you're going to start experiencing anxiety, etc. but please indicate which medical condition it is treating Punishment: your psot will be edited to indicate the medical condition 8) is weed "cool" in middle earth? Used to be, but now, like, even the Rohirrim are smoking it. Its become kind of a basic white girl drug to be perfectly honest Ok, with all that out of the way, lets have some fun and get that famous BYOB creativity juice flowing as we make each other laugh with the concept of What if Middle Earth Had Weed In It? |
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May 5, 2019 14:38
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 03:46 |
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mod/ik please change tthread tag to a weed-related one
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May 5, 2019 14:48
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*a dwarf looks at a weed warily* |
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May 5, 2019 14:50
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should be a warning that consumption of Middle Earth can lead to mental health problems including crippling social anxiety imho OP
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May 5, 2019 14:54
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what if gollumn did a bong hit imagine... he would eat the lembas bread, because o f the famous weed hunger LOL |
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May 5, 2019 14:58
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Bo-Pepper posted:*a dwarf looks at a weed warily* haha good start for a joke. just spit-balling here, but perhas the dwarf is young (for a dwarf...so 100 or so?) and hes heard from his friends Bongli and Dongli that weed is a "fun" drug that just makes you chill and have a good time, but he has also read peer-reviewed medical studies that demonstrate a causal relatiosnhip between smokign marijuana and developing health probelms, so he's not sure whether he should smoke it or not and the Momentuous nature of this choice, one whihc may determine wetherh he becomes a mighty warrior or just sits around a mine all day long watchign fools gold glitter, is making him really nervous so he pisses his pants? the joke part could be him pissing his pants, which most people won't do even under these cirucmstances, though some might, if they have urinary incompetence ---------------- |
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May 5, 2019 14:58
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treasure bear posted:what if gollumn did a bong hit imagine... given the way that gollum acts, as described by jrr tolkien, it seems likely that he would smoke weed. i lik e where this is going ---------------- |
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May 5, 2019 14:59
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As they traveled through the village, an acrid cloud of smoke began to thicken, emanating from the windows of a tavern. "Cough, cough" said Sam, coughily, waving his weird hairy hand in front of his dumb face. "I don't think I'd like to stop and have third lunch here!" |
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May 5, 2019 15:00
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Hugh Malone posted:As they traveled through the village, an acrid cloud of smoke began to thicken, emanating from the windows of a tavern. "Cough, cough" said Sam, coughily, waving his weird hairy hand in front of his dumb face. "I don't think I'd like to stop and have third lunch here!" lmao ---------------- |
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May 5, 2019 15:01
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i'm thinking maybe instead of a vast dwarven hall filed with gold it's a vw hippie van that smaug stole from the dwarves and thorin could maybe be renamed to spicoli and the whole story could take place in a california suburb during the late 70s/early 80s and bilbo is a teenager who's trying to lose his virginity |
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May 5, 2019 15:11
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As the goblins closed in on them in the underground weed vaults, Gandalf raised his staff and shouted an Elvish word, and all the grow-lamps went out at once, plunging them into darkness...and dankness.
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May 5, 2019 15:19
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Frodo: gently caress YOU, gently caress YOU, YOU'RE cool, and gently caress YOU! Gimli: But... I gave you my axe! Legolas: I gave you my bow! Gandalf: I know what the little fucker wants **hands over his bong** Frodo: Great, now we can have a REAL Adventure! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 5, 2019 15:20
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Pippin or Merry or whatever was like, "We desire the second breakfast due to the famous weed hunger." "Yeah, well, maybe you should get a fuckin' job," replied Viggo Mortensen. |
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May 5, 2019 15:29
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"Come, Frodo," said Galadriel, and she beckoned him towards the river, which stank with an acrid odor and was crystal clear, revealing a complete absence of life. "The fertilizers we used for our grow ops were washed into the river, where the fish and animals sickened and died. Regulations were supposed to make a difference, but they cost a lot of money to comply with, and we were already making money hand over fist before legalization, so we decided not to apply for a permit and just continue to operate outside the law, as the Elves have always done. Soon, we will be getting out of the game entirely and moving to the Grey Havens, or as you call it, Orange County. Our children will go to private schools." Frodo said nothing. He was overcome with all that he had heard. "Did you know, Frodo, that although there are over 700 dispensaries in Middle Earth, over 80% are concentrated in areas where the median income is over 500 gold pieces a month? In the same places where Men used to drive through and buy weed illegally, banks now refuse to invest in weed entrepreneurship, and so the inhabitants of these places continue to have access to illegal marijuana only, and continue to be arrested? People are beginning to call these places 'weed deserts.' We were naive to think legalization would improve racial disparities in incarceration when the entire system is a product of white supremacy. Of course it would be the wealthy who would just get wealthier from legalization, while the poor continued to be crushed. Now Elves can smoke without fear of repercussions, while orcs, who don't even smoke weed, are sent to jail in the same numbers as always. The inequality is greater than ever before." "And all of this...is Sauron's fault?" Frodo asked. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Anyway, take a hit of this poo poo," Galadriel said, passing him the ancient vape. ---------------- |
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May 5, 2019 15:32
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cda posted:"Come, Frodo," said Galadriel, and she beckoned him towards the river, which stank with an acrid odor and was crystal clear, revealing a complete absence of life. "The fertilizers we used for our grow ops were washed into the river, where the fish and animals sickened and died. Regulations were supposed to make a difference, but they cost a lot of money to comply with, and we were already making money hand over fist before legalization, so we decided not to apply for a permit and just continue to operate outside the law, as the Elves have always done. Soon, we will be getting out of the game entirely and moving to the Grey Havens, or as you call it, Orange County. Our children will go to private schools." |
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May 5, 2019 15:34
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Luvcow posted:i'm thinking maybe instead of a vast dwarven hall filed with gold it's a vw hippie van that smaug stole from the dwarves and thorin could maybe be renamed to spicoli and the whole story could take place in a california suburb during the late 70s/early 80s and bilbo is a teenager who's trying to lose his virginity Hugh Malone posted:As they traveled through the village, an acrid cloud of smoke began to thicken, emanating from the windows of a tavern. "Cough, cough" said Sam, coughily, waving his weird hairy hand in front of his dumb face. "I don't think I'd like to stop and have third lunch here!"
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May 5, 2019 15:52
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Gandalf took a large hit off of his pipe. On the exhale he produced a large, smoky dragon, then another- and another! Legions of Elvish warriors followed, their armor shining brightly in the Sun. Next came the Balrogs, wielding whips of fire and flaming swords! The walls of Gondolin soon appeared, upon the ramparts stood many fine Elvish archers, their bows nocked with arrows ready to fly. Gandalf was recreating the Sack of Gondolin! "Stop bogarting the pipe, dude!" Samwise said, his stubby fingers grasping wildly for the pipe Gandalf was hesitant to surrender. |
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May 5, 2019 16:40
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wizard weed dealer drives a van with a mural of a crusty human stoner airbrushed on the side |
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May 5, 2019 16:50
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The sun has set, and the keyhole has not made itself known. Dejected and despairing, the dwarves make ready for the long, defeated journey home. Bilbo sighs as he rolls a J, but as he sparks his lighter he sees something out of the corner of his eye. Suddenly he realizes they've misinterpreted the meaning of the last light of Durin's Day. |
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May 5, 2019 17:03
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Tall ships and Tall Kings three times three What brought they, over the foundering sea? Seven stars, Seven Stones, and some dank-rear end weed! |
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May 5, 2019 17:12
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc99nX_eN2k&t=475s |
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May 5, 2019 17:20
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the little hobbits could hear in the distance the "schloook" of a bong being hit, followed by the telltale coughing, "gollum! gollum!" frodo whispered to sam, "smeagol had a bright future before he started smoking weed... we'd best be careful to avoid him lest we succumb to his addictions." sam protested, "but master frodo weed isn't addicti.." frodo cut him off with an angry stare and a finger pressed to his lips |
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May 5, 2019 17:30
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Luvcow posted:the little hobbits could hear in the distance the "schloook" of a bong being hit, followed by the telltale coughing, "gollum! gollum!" frodo whispered to sam, "smeagol had a bright future before he started smoking weed... we'd best be careful to avoid him lest we succumb to his addictions." |
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May 5, 2019 17:33
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As the Fellowship sat and told stories about times they'd gotten high, Frodo started to have an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. Sure, they were all laughing about the time Gandalf had eaten too many of Bjorn's Weed Honey Cakes and thought he was going to die, but was it really that funny? It must've been scary at the time. And they all laughed when Boromir had taken too big of a hit and coughed until he puked. What kind of degenerates would do that? With all the turmoil going on in the world, didn't they need to keep their wits around them? Underneath their jolly tale-telling, Frodo began to realize just how painfully sad they all were. The laughter wasn't genuine. It wasn't laughter from joy. It was an uncontrollable impulse, a desperate red-faced spasm of terror and loneliness. The ring began to grow warm in his pocket, and he excused himself from the campfire. ---------------- |
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May 5, 2019 17:34
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"I know it sounds stupid," sobbed Merry, "but I think I'm addicted. I think I'm addicted to weed." "It doesn't sound stupid," said Pippin quietly, but Merry didn't seem to hear him. "I know everyone will say, you can't be addicted to weed, Merry. They say it's not physically addictive, but then how come if I don't smoke I can't sleep? And the dreams I have, Pippin..." he trailed off. "I got you, Bro. I know how it is. I believe you." Pippin reached an arm around Merry's shoulder. Very quietly, Merry said, "...in those dreams, I start...remembering. I don't want to remember, Pippin. I can't handle it." "The world is hosed, Bro. It's hosed. You do what you got to do to survive. But don't ever forget, I love you. Ride or die, Merry. Ride or die." "Without the weed, I have bad dreams. But with the weed, it's like...my whole life is a dream, right? And it used to be a great dream, but now I'm getting burned out and I don't know where to turn, and when I try to tell the others, they laugh at me. They say I just need to smoke more." Merry frowned furiously. "Sometimes I wish you really could OD on weed. One last blaze and then oblivion. Feels like the whole world is headed that way." Pippin stood up. "We need to go chill with the Ents," he said. "They realized long ago that weed is a trap. It's no different from any other drug, Merry. And there's nothing shameful about needing medication, but when the medication stops working for you...We gotta find another way. The Ents will know. C'mon. Treebeard's seen a lot of poo poo. He'll know what to do." Merry looked at Pippin with deep gratitude, but then, as if a camera pulled back from the scene to show the surroundings, he realized that everything he'd said and everything he'd felt during the whole conversation had been said and felt through the fog of his marijuana high. The catharsis. The feeling of being loved and taken care of by a friend. Pippin's optimism. Was any of it authentic, or was it all just the THC? And if he thought he'd known true despair before, now a more powerful despair settled over him like a gigantic black dragon, digging its claws straight into his chest. "Maybe later," he mumbled. "I think I just want to sit here for a while, ok?" Pippin shot him a concerned look. "You sure, bro?" "Yeah." Merry forced a smile. "I'll be good, Pippin. I just need to chill for a while." "Ok..." Pippin got up. "You need anything, you let me know." "Sure. I'll see you later," Merry said. But he felt it was the worst lie he'd ever told in his whole life. He wasn't planning to be around later. This was goodbye. It was better for Pippin not to know it. [note: Gandalf appears at the last moment and gets Merry the help he needs] ---------------- |
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May 5, 2019 17:52
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May 5, 2019 18:27
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cda posted:"I know it sounds stupid," sobbed Merry, "but I think I'm addicted. I think I'm addicted to weed." lol |
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May 5, 2019 18:38
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In celebration of the return of the True King Aragorn to the Throne of Gondor, the Riders of Rohan let the flames burn on, signalling the end of Sauron's evil gaze upon Mordor, nay, all of Middle Earth. It was then that Radegast the Brown, he so completely forgotten, decided to spice this party up a little. Using the strange and esoteric ways the wizards are so known for, he went to each flame. And upon each flame, he poured forth his stash. Ringwraith redseed, Boppin' Barrow Wight blends, Shadowfax sweet kush. All of his greatest product, given to the world in glorious jubilation upon the flames of Gondor, raising high into the night sky, mingling with the clouds, then settling low upon the dawn of the 4th Age when the barometer dropped and the clouds turned to fog. |
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May 5, 2019 18:40
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Bo-Pepper posted:*a dwarf looks at a weed warily* Then sings a song for 4 pages. |
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May 5, 2019 18:51
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"They say that Mary Jane was an Elf Maiden from the Second Age," Aragorn explained, as they listened to the music floating through the dark.
cda fucked around with this message at 19:05 on May 5, 2019 ---------------- |
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May 5, 2019 18:56
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Gandalf pulled the ring out of the fire and showed it to Frodo. Letters of flame had appeared on band. They said: Rule Number Uno, never let no one know How much dough you hold cause you know The cheddar breed jealousy 'specially If that man hosed up, get yo' rear end stuck up ---------------- |
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May 5, 2019 18:57
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Great engines crawled across the field; and in the midst was a huge bong, great as a forest-tree a hundred feet in length, swinging on mighty chains. Long had it been forging in the dark smithies of Mordor, and its hideous base, founded of black glass, was shaped in the likeness of a ravening wolf; on it spells of dankness lay. Grond they named it, in memory of the Hookah of the Underworld of old. Great beasts drew it, Orcs surrounded it, and behind walked mountain-trolls to wield it.... The drums rolled and rattled. With a vast rush Grond's bowl was lit by huge hands. The carb was covered. A deep "splurble" rumbled through the City like thunder running in the clouds. Then the Black Captain rose in his stirrups, the carb was uncovered, and a mighty cloud of smoke rushed into his lungs. For many a long minute he held the smoke, then exhaled and cried aloud in a dreadful voice, speaking in some forgotten tongue words of power and terror to rend both heart and stone.
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May 5, 2019 19:03
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I Know My Rights (So You Can’t Arrest Me) Fifteen Birds (In Five Fir Trees) “We’re the DEA!” They yelled to me, While I was huddling In my own fir tree “I know my rights!” As they threatened me So I pleaded the Fifth, before they could arrest me So I pleaded the Fifth, before they could arrest me. “Our dogs alerted, we know what you got! They’re trained in Mordor to sniff out the pot!” “You’re baked and toasted bail won’t be posted Your beards glazed with mayonnaise Your skin smells, hygiene lapsed Scraggly beard, lips chapped Face down you’ll lie Beneath the sky Looks like we’ve nabbed this guy!” “We’re the DEA!” They yelled to me, While I was huddling In my own fir tree “I know my rights!” As they threatened me So I pleaded the Fifth, before they could arrest me So I pleaded the Fifth, before they could arrest me. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 5, 2019 19:05
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"Careful Gimli, you've already drank enough ranch dressing for a full day's march!" e: whoops wrong thread e2: or is it? |
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May 5, 2019 19:06
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saruman: do you know how the orcs first came into being? they were elves once, taken by the dark powers of marijuana, they became addicted to it's sweet smoke and evil spirit. a ruined and terrible form of life. |
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May 5, 2019 19:06
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| hash heads hotbox halfast's hobbit house | |
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May 5, 2019 20:28
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Manifisto fucked around with this message at 20:31 on May 5, 2019 |
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May 5, 2019 20:28
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https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 5, 2019 20:28
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| halfling hash heads hotbox halfast's hobbit house | |
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May 5, 2019 20:32
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 03:46 |
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Gandalf: God dammit! Legolas: What's wrong, Gandalf? Gandalf: I forgot the password to get into Moria! Frodo: Is it your mother's maiden name? Gandalf: No... Legolas: The runes say, "Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Ah Sphi' N c'Ter S' aYs W'H at" Frodo: So all one has to do is say "A Sphincter Says What" and we can get in? **Doors open with a loud rumble** Legolas: It was a much simpler time, then... Gandalf: I gotta lay off the weed. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 5, 2019 21:21
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