May Current Events: John Ratcliffe the Coward (R-TX 4) has no balls

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > May Current Events: John Ratcliffe the Coward (R-TX 4) has no balls

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bulletsponge13: Apr 28, 2010

It easier to fight a one front war. Now we can link up from Syria to Afghanistan and turn those corners once and for all.

# ? May 14, 2019 02:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:04

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

Hot Karl Marx posted:

uhhhh so he's really really thinking of doing it

I think this is Bolton waggling his dick around and Donnie's just using it to yell a lot and "look tough". Could be wrong though!

On the other hand, I 100% believe this was and could become a thing. The leaker is likely Nielsen trying to make herself look better, but gives away the game when they challenged the plan on logistical grounds instead of moral grounds.

https://twitter.com/TracyJan/status/1128103324052598784

# ? May 14, 2019 02:19

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

yeah im not believing anything honorable about neilsens time in dhs

# ? May 14, 2019 02:32

Eej: Jun 17, 2007; HEAVYARMS

https://twitter.com/spindlypete/status/1128053545477869570?s=19

An angry rant thread about why Vote Blue still fucks you over

# ? May 14, 2019 02:33

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

facialimpediment posted:

I think this is Bolton waggling his dick around and Donnie's just using it to yell a lot and "look tough". Could be wrong though!

On the other hand, I 100% believe this was and could become a thing. The leaker is likely Nielsen trying to make herself look better, but gives away the game when they challenged the plan on logistical grounds instead of moral grounds.

https://twitter.com/TracyJan/status/1128103324052598784

The problem with Donny trying to look tough is he is 100% the person to do it to prove how tough he is

# ? May 14, 2019 04:04

Slim Pickens: Jan 12, 2007; Grimey Drawer

WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE VACCINES A PARTISAN ISSUE YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS JESUS CHRIST

# ? May 14, 2019 04:36

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

can we

yet

# ? May 14, 2019 04:43

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

shame on an IGA posted:

can we yet

No and let's not go there.

# ? May 14, 2019 04:47

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

STOP EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING, THE NAVY SKY PENIS WRITERS HAD THEIR VOICES RECORDED :siren:

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2019/05/14/the-navys-probe-into-sky-penis/

quote:

Their sky penis plan of attack was captured on their cockpit video recording system, a transcript of which is included in the investigation.

�Draw a giant penis,� the EWO said. �That would be awesome.�

�What did you do on your flight?� the pilot joked. �Oh, we turned dinosaurs into sky penises.�

�You should totally try to draw a penis,� the EWO advised.

�I could definitely draw one, that would be easy,� the pilot boasted. �I could basically draw a figure eight and turn around and come back. I�m gonna go down, grab some speed and hopefully get out of the contrail layer so they�re not connected to each other.�

They theorized on the second-order effects of their nascent sky drawing.

�Dude, that would be so funny,� the pilot said. �Airliner�s coming back on their way into Seattle, just this big (expletive)ing, giant penis. We could almost draw a vein in the middle of it too.�

Soon, the EWO reported they were definitely �marking.�

They had found the sweet altitude, and the contrail sky penis was being born in their wake.

�Balls are going to be a little lopsided,� the pilot advised.

�Balls are complete,� he reported moments later. �I just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft.�

�Which way is the shaft going?� the EWO asked.

�The shaft will go to the left,� the pilot answered.

�It�s gonna be a wide shaft,� the EWO noted.

�I don�t wanna make it just like 3 balls,� the pilot said.

�Let�s do it,� the EWO said. �Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick.�

�Some like Chinese weather satellite right now that�s like, �what the (expletive)?�� the pilot surmised.

The jet streaked across the sky, and the duo�s magnum opus continued to take shape, showcasing the pilot�s prowess in the process.

�To get out of this, I�m gonna go like down and to the right,� the pilot said. �And we�ll come back up over the top and try to take a look at it.�

�I have a feeling the balls will have dissipated by then,� his partner answered.

�It�s possible,� the pilot said.

They flew away to a distance where they could take in their work.

They cracked up in the cockpit as their sky penis came into full view, snapping pics they would later delete once they realized their command would likely go apoplectic.

�Oh yes, that was (expletive)ing amazing,� the pilot said. �This is so obvious.�

�That�s a (expletive),� the EWO said. �Dude, I�m amazed that this stayed.�

�Mishap pilot alpha said, �Dude, I�m gonna draw a (expletive),�� the EWO said. �EWO alpha said, �Yup, that�s a great idea.��

They waited to see if their partner jet would notice their work.

�Your artwork is amazing,� the lieutenant commander EWO in the other jet radioed to them.

�Glad you guys noticed,� the pilot replied.

# ? May 14, 2019 04:49

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

yeeeessssssssss

# ? May 14, 2019 04:55

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

# ? May 14, 2019 04:55

Hexyflexy: Sep 2, 2011; asymptotically approaching one

quote:

�I don�t wanna make it just like 3 balls,� the pilot said.

It's 5am in the morning here and I've been up late writing some boring rear end reports, and I'm genuinely laughing my head off so hard I'm choking

# ? May 14, 2019 04:57

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

facialimpediment posted:

STOP EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING, THE NAVY SKY PENIS WRITERS HAD THEIR VOICES RECORDED

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2019/05/14/the-navys-probe-into-sky-penis/

Give them an air medal ffs

# ? May 14, 2019 04:58

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

i know that exact feeling of joy, but never will i be able to experience it at that leve

# ? May 14, 2019 05:19

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

That entire conversation is thread title, nay...GiP mouseover-text material

# ? May 14, 2019 05:34

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

The second ep of that chernobyl hbo series went up tonight, it's a good watch and basically begins characterizing the first show's tone as one where the local bigwig types didn't want to let the feds in even though they were disastrously outclassed by events.

# ? May 14, 2019 05:57

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER; Ultra Carp

facialimpediment posted:

STOP EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING, THE NAVY SKY PENIS WRITERS HAD THEIR VOICES RECORDED

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2019/05/14/the-navys-probe-into-sky-penis/

these men are nothing less than American Heroes :911:

# ? May 14, 2019 06:04

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Acebuckeye13 posted:

these men are nothing less than American Heroes

# ? May 14, 2019 06:11

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Can't wait to show that to the navy vet at work.

# ? May 14, 2019 06:39

Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

facialimpediment posted:

STOP EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING, THE NAVY SKY PENIS WRITERS HAD THEIR VOICES RECORDED

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2019/05/14/the-navys-probe-into-sky-penis/

lol poo poo you beat me by ... hours I was running over here to post this after just accidentally running across it.

There is so much good poo poo in there.

# ? May 14, 2019 08:33

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Those guys make me so proud to be an American

# ? May 14, 2019 08:49

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

facialimpediment posted:

STOP EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING, THE NAVY SKY PENIS WRITERS HAD THEIR VOICES RECORDED

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2019/05/14/the-navys-probe-into-sky-penis/

Why are they being punished again

# ? May 14, 2019 10:41

colachute: Mar 15, 2015

Milo and POTUS posted:

Why are they being punished again

colachute posted:

dickorum

# ? May 14, 2019 11:46

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Milo and POTUS posted:

Why are they being punished again

Speaking of which can someone translate from navy regarding if this an actual punishment:

quote:

While Navy officials said at the time of the incident that the two would go before a disciplinary board, the investigating officer recommended they receive �non-punitive letters of instruction.�

And yes I know it says �non punitive� but it�s the military that�s as likely to mean �double punitive�

# ? May 14, 2019 11:54

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

Letters of Instruction are just things from you commanding officer yelling at you for something. They are not a part of your military service record, and only have bearing on you at that command.

Letters of Reprimand are formal, in your service record, and career ending.

# ? May 14, 2019 12:09

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

"keep your dicks on the ground"

# ? May 14, 2019 12:19

Vasudus: May 30, 2003

current events thread: �Balls are going to be a little lopsided,� the pilot advised.

# ? May 14, 2019 12:33

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Vasudus posted:

current events thread: “Balls are going to be a little lopsided,” the pilot advised.

# ? May 14, 2019 12:34

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

Vasudus posted:

current events thread: �Balls are going to be a little lopsided,� the pilot advised.

# ? May 14, 2019 12:41

BigDave: Jul 14, 2009; Taste the High Country

Vasudus posted:

current events thread: “Balls are going to be a little lopsided,” the pilot advised.

# ? May 14, 2019 13:28

Hot Karl Marx: Mar 16, 2009; Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!