Barudak's Wan/Mille: you lakh crore numeracy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Barudak's Wan/Mille: you lakh crore numeracy

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Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

We�re the guns stolen by MS-13

# ? Jun 23, 2019 03:43

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 05:31

Weatherman: Jul 30, 2003; WARBLEKLONK

Thesaurus posted:

One weird bitcoin trick that Walmart and the police don't want you to know!

Also I'm 99% sure neither the "girlfriend" nor the girlfriend's father exists. Buttcoiners and redditors in general are really bad at disguising themselves in posts like these, and since this dude is in the Venn overlap it's even more certain.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 04:29

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

SpelledBackwards posted:

Gonna cross post some forums drama because recently in the TFR Bullpup thread, GGGC said he made the whole stolen guns story up to get a rise out of goons (spoilers added by me for a fun find-it-yourself BWM/BWL content adventure):

Unless of course I've been double-hoodwinked.

You leave me out of this.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 06:43

Youth Decay: Aug 18, 2015

# ? Jun 23, 2019 09:23

SpelledBackwards: Jan 7, 2001; I found this image on the Internet, perhaps you've heard of it? It's been around for a while I hear.

Youth Decay posted:

By this point I should know how it all works (not to be confused with It Works!™), but what the hell are filling up sales volume and sales buckets? Buying product for yourself to look like you're an effective seller, and then hoping you can hustle and grind to unload it next month and drain out some of the piss in your well?

Also, I just started watching Schitt's Creek last week on Netflix, and S01E08 has two characters try and trick a bunch of locals* into joining a cosmetics MLM with a surprise party.

Edit: locals, not lake

SpelledBackwards fucked around with this message at 13:26 on Jun 23, 2019

# ? Jun 23, 2019 10:51

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Dillbag posted:

Lol if you believe "haha you fools I was making it all up"

So he�s BWM with cars and guns or BWM with booze and cocaine. I�m so confused. It�s like fish or cut bait.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 10:55

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

SpelledBackwards posted:

Also, I just started watching Schitt's Creek last week on Netflix, and S01E08 has two characters try and trick a bunch of lake into joining a cosmetics MLM with a surprise party.

I mean just open up a cosmetics plant nearby?

the joke was they will dump product into it

# ? Jun 23, 2019 12:27

SpelledBackwards: Jan 7, 2001; I found this image on the Internet, perhaps you've heard of it? It's been around for a while I hear.

Alan Smithee posted:

I mean just open up a cosmetics plant nearby?

the joke was they will dump product into it

it was supposed to be "locals", not "lake" :argh:

# ? Jun 23, 2019 13:27

The Chairman: Jun 30, 2003; But you forget, mon ami, that there is evil everywhere under the sun

SpelledBackwards posted:

By this point I should know how it all works (not to be confused with It Works!™), but what the hell are filling up sales volume and sales buckets? Buying product for yourself to look like you're an effective seller, and then hoping you can hustle and grind to unload it next month and drain out some of the piss in your well?

This is Rodan + Fields (MLM skincare products). Their compensation structure is based on the "sales volume bucket" -- you get paid the retail margin on anything you sell, which depends on how much above wholesale price you're willing to try to sell things for, but you only get paid the bonus "consultant commissions" of an extra 10% of the wholesale price if you do 100 points worth of sales activity in that month.

Someone who's struggling to fill that bucket is heavily encouraged to buy something for themselves from themselves so they can keep qualifying for consultant commissions, because their "executive consultants" (the people uplines of them) get points towards their "personally sponsored qualified volume bucket", which gives them a cut of 5% of all the sales by consultants they've recruited.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 13:45

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

It�s okay, they�ll be diamond soon enough.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 14:02

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

sure just apply enough pressure wah lah diamond

# ? Jun 23, 2019 14:06

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

It's a reverse funnel!

# ? Jun 23, 2019 14:26

Moneyball: Jul 11, 2005; It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.

sneakyfrog posted:

sure just apply enough pressure wah lah diamond

# ? Jun 23, 2019 14:44

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

Voil�.

(Jesus christ)

# ? Jun 23, 2019 14:57

OctaviusBeaver: Apr 30, 2009; Say what now?

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/c3wjdg/my_father_invested_inmodel_trains_what_do_we_do/

My father invested in...model trains. What do we do? posted:

My dad is a wonderful, kind man who is absolutely garbage at anything finance related. Back in the '60s, he started buying model trains (HO gauge, M�rklin brand) and told my mom that they would appreciate in value.

Today, I learned that he had car trouble and asked him why he didn't try selling some of the model trains to pay for his car. The heartbreaking response was, "I tried."

Apparently, his model train collection�which was once valued at nearly half a million bucks�is now worthless. He has retirement, but it's very modest.

What do we do? Do you know of any way we could recoup the money he invested in these things?

tl; dr�My dad invested his money in a now semi-worthless German model train collection. How do we try to get back some of his investment?

# ? Jun 23, 2019 15:04

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Hoodwinker posted:

Voil�.

(Jesus christ)

It was a joke, dummy, obv a frog knows how to speak French

# ? Jun 23, 2019 15:06

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Hoodwinker posted:

Voil�.

(Jesus christ)

et oui la grenouille parle francais jeez peoples.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 15:06

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

OctaviusBeaver posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/c3wjdg/my_father_invested_inmodel_trains_what_do_we_do/

This is what�s going to happen to everyone who collected anything as an investment, FWIW.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 15:10

colachute: Mar 15, 2015

Sounds like dude is/was just a collector of trains

BWM I guess but I think the OP might be being dramatic

# ? Jun 23, 2019 15:13

Cacafuego: Jul 22, 2007

colachute posted:

Sounds like dude is/was just a collector of trains

BWM I guess but I think the OP might be being dramatic

I was waiting for them to say they just found out dear ol� dad was on the spectrum

# ? Jun 23, 2019 15:21

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

moana posted:

It was a joke, dummy, obv a frog knows how to speak French

Yeah, but goons

# ? Jun 23, 2019 17:10

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

sorry

# ? Jun 23, 2019 17:13

Dillbag: Mar 4, 2007; Click here to join Lem Lee in the Hell Of Being Cut To Pieces; Nap Ghost

I'm sure they did it on accident

# ? Jun 23, 2019 17:16

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

FrozenVent posted:

This is what�s going to happen to everyone who collected anything as an investment, FWIW.

I've got a pile of old Beatles magazines my mom saved since the 1960's. I just checked eBay and they're worth about what they were in the 1960's when adjusted for inflation. Awesome ROI there. These are going to Goodwill.

She did have 2 unused Beatles tickets for a 1964 concert that she sold at auction for a fair amount of money. 10 dollars in 1960's money worked out to $2500 now. But unless you have like 200 of those tickets you're not going to retire on it.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 18:25

Moneyball: Jul 11, 2005; It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.

You know, I could have seen the Beatles, but look at this loving couch I was able to buy with those tickets.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 18:28

SpelledBackwards: Jan 7, 2001; I found this image on the Internet, perhaps you've heard of it? It's been around for a while I hear.

That band was just a fad -- they're not even together anymore. But a quality couch can be passed down from generation to generation!

# ? Jun 23, 2019 18:48

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Simpsons Reference posted:

You know, I could have seen the Beatles, but look at this loving couch I was able to buy with those tickets.

I feel like there's a Simpsons' reference you could have used about the utility of money for short versus long term needs.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 19:07

Moneyball: Jul 11, 2005; It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.

Second one I've missed this month. Attach the stone of shame.

# ? Jun 23, 2019 19:24

Mr. Fix It: Oct 26, 2000; 💀ayyy💀

Dillbag posted:

I'm sure they did it on accident

this is fine.

p sure being a prescriptivist is somehow BWM

# ? Jun 24, 2019 03:25

Switchback: Jul 23, 2001

FrozenVent posted:

This is what�s going to happen to everyone who collected anything as an investment, FWIW.

quote:

Yeah I posted elsewhere about my experience selling a doll collection... but we went to a "doll dealer" first and they offered about 15% of what we ended up getting. And I don't really blame them! It took hundreds of hours of listing and dealing with bidders/potential bidders by e-mail, and it was 5 danged years before we'd sold the last doll that seemed to be worth anything. Their price was cash on the spot and our doll problem solved, they factored in all the tedious work they'd be saving us.

Hey cool you can have a 5+ year horrible tedious part-time job making barely enough money to cover your initial investment. It�s like these collector types don�t value their time at all. Is that actually �fun� for some people?

Sorry to dredge up the past:

Dik Hz posted:

NC isn't bad until it rains. Not the best, not the worst. But when I-40 gets wet, oh god save us all.

That�s true everywhere. Rain increases overall risk of fatal car accidents by 34%. �The risk is significant in all regions of the continental United States,� even in light rain. (Stevens 2019)

As a weather professional it is my duty to keep others safe from weather hazards. Dying is GWM but ending up in the hospital is BWM so plz treat driving in rainy conditions with fear and respect.

# ? Jun 24, 2019 08:00

Shipon: Nov 7, 2005

Switchback posted:

Hey cool you can have a 5+ year horrible tedious part-time job making barely enough money to cover your initial investment. It�s like these collector types don�t value their time at all. Is that actually �fun� for some people?

There's a limit to how much time you have that you can value. Realistically, you're never able to take on unlimited hours so your time is worthless beyond how many hours you can work at work. If you're salaried, your time beyond your base salary is literally worthless.

# ? Jun 24, 2019 11:05

Papa Was A Video Toaster: Jan 9, 2011

If you're rich your collectibles just become more expensive so you see more money change hands at a time. My friend's dad was big into restoring WWII airplanes. Usually lost money, but that's what retirement is for I guess.

# ? Jun 24, 2019 11:13

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

Shipon posted:

There's a limit to how much time you have that you can value. Realistically, you're never able to take on unlimited hours so your time is worthless beyond how many hours you can work at work. If you're salaried, your time beyond your base salary is literally worthless.

Outside of work my time is worth $x/hr. Because I won't give up my not work time for less than that... I figure $50/hr at minim. Which is why I pay someone to change my oil but will do my own brakes. The $40 premium that paying for an oil change costs is worth not having to drag all my poo poo out, jack up the car, do the oil change and then clean all the poo poo up.

# ? Jun 24, 2019 11:25

Propaniac: Nov 28, 2000; SUSHI ROULETTO!; College Slice

Two car payment looking to get a mortgage in a complicated dilemma

quote:

As the title states, we are looking to buy our first home within the next 6-8 months. Wife is a nurse starting her career with 35k/year gross pay. Yes, I know nurses do make a lot more but she’s doing an entry level job with a home health care agency that provides flexible hours and 1on1 care opportunity.

I’m not employed. So we will be relying only on her income to get the loan with VA. She’s also an army reservist so we are going to take advantage of minimum down payment VA loan with a good interest rate. But the problem is we don't know if we could ever qualify for the loan. Because of the following reasons:

I have a Bachelor's degree in MIS but it's pretty much worthless after applying for various entry-level positions for 6 months I gave up. I'm in Houston area and it's nearly impossible to get a job I don't know why. I'm now helping my brother with a family business and he's paying me in cash and offering flexible hours so I can work on my Real Estate license and start my career as a sales agent. Again I'm choosing this career to raise our soon to be born kid we don't want both of us to have a busy life with nine to five job.

Now on to our finances. This is where we are messed up only because of one bad decision. Let me give you a break down

we don't have any student loan or credit card debt

Car 1: $290 Car 2 (suv): $470 Car insurance: $250 Health insurance: $250 Phone bill: $100

No rent payment because we live with my sister.

Saving $40k for a down payment.

Now that stupid car 2 payment will be the reason that we probably won't get approval for the mortgage. And that's where we are so confused whether or not to get rid of the car. We have been paying for this car for a year and a half and it's a leased car which is barely used so we can sell it to CarMax and probably get some money because of low mileage. I'm not sure though if they will pay off a leased car. From my initial research they do. So have to get a quote from them on this.

But we are not sure whether to sell it or not because we might end up needing both cars when I start working as a sales agent showing houses to people so I will probably need a vehicle. Although that's 4-5 months into the future because I haven't taken my license exam yet. Once I start making money we can afford to keep both cars and get the loan that's no problem. But the problem is I don't know when I will start making money I've heard initially it takes months for new agents to close on a house.

With this uncertain future in mind, we are debating whether or not we should get rid of the car. And if we do need two cars for our job in the future it’s highly unlikely to get the car 2 lease deal again especially in Texas. We got this deal back in midwest we moved to Houston at the beginning of this year.

TLDR; should we sell car 2? wife will end up working the night shift for the most part so I'll have car one available during the day for my job. So not sure what's the best way to get out of a lease other than going to CarMax. Any help or advice greatly appreciated

Also after working as an independent contractor, I think I need to file taxes first before I can show my income for mortgage purposes. Not sure how flexible VA loan is.

# ? Jun 24, 2019 12:01

Residency Evil: Jul 28, 2003; 4/5 godo... Schumi

Oh God I want to know what car 2 is.

Edit: some kind of Lexus.

Residency Evil fucked around with this message at 12:23 on Jun 24, 2019

# ? Jun 24, 2019 12:16

Cacafuego: Jul 22, 2007

Residency Evil posted:

Oh God I want to know what car 2 is.

Edit: some kind of Lexus.

She�s a brand new nurse, I�m assuming Lexus or BMW. Source: my nursing school classmates.

Although a brand new nurse at $35k should be setting their sights lower. Is she an LPN? I though I was getting crappy starting RN pay 6 years ago at ~$42k in Orlando, FL, but wow, how times have changed.

Have to take out a $26,000 private bank loan for my first year of college

quote:

I am an independent student and I was given $27,000 in financial aid, but I still have to somehow cover the remaining $26,000. My only option left now is to take out a private bank loan, as the $27,000 I was given already includes federal loans, scholarships, work study, and grants. Around how much debt will I be graduating with if let�s say I have to take out $26,000 every year for four years (including interest)? Which private loan would be the best to take out in this case? Thank you! I�m really worried about my future and I really don�t want to graduate with hundred of thousands of debt.

Guess the major computer science

# ? Jun 24, 2019 12:41

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

It�s okay Bernie will wipe the debt

# ? Jun 24, 2019 13:37

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Propaniac posted:

Two car payment looking to get a mortgage in a complicated dilemma

quote:

As the title states, we are looking to buy our first home within the next 6-8 months. Wife is a nurse starting her career with 35k/year gross pay. Yes, I know nurses do make a lot more but she’s doing an entry level job with a home health care agency that provides flexible hours and 1on1 care opportunity.

I’m not employed. So we will be relying only on her income to get the loan with VA. She’s also an army reservist so we are going to take advantage of minimum down payment VA loan with a good interest rate. But the problem is we don't know if we could ever qualify for the loan. Because of the following reasons:

Good thing we aren't actively trying to start a war, or she might end up being shipped out and that income would disappear.

# ? Jun 24, 2019 13:54

brugroffil: Nov 30, 2015; Can't post for 12 hours!

I'm going to sell my leased car to CarMax!

# ? Jun 24, 2019 13:56

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 05:31

A Proper Uppercut: Sep 30, 2008

A Proper Uppercut posted:

I'm not sure if this is more appropriate for the BWM or Shadenfreude threads, but we'll go here for now.

I work with a true believer sovereign citizen. He's been trying for like a year now to not pay taxes.

He just resubmitted his W4 with 99 dependents. Can someone tell me he will go to jail so I don't have to work with him anymore.

Quoting this from a while ago.

Apparently this guy has not been paying his mortgage either for over a year. He had to leave work early this morning for an emergency meeting, with who I assume is the bank. His house is going up for auction Friday.

He was talking to our boss over the weekend asking how he can liquidate his 401k to maybe stop this from happening, I don't know.

I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't such a raging rear end in a top hat. Nothing has happened with the taxes yet but he is still not paying them either.

# ? Jun 24, 2019 14:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Barudak's Wan/Mille: you lakh crore numeracy

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