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Thingyman posted:world's worst wheel of fortune player: i'd like to buy an umlaut, alex Next turn: I'd like to buy an æsc |
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Aug 20, 2019 03:26
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A sweaty, abridged dictionary. Some pages missing. |
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Aug 20, 2019 03:44
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canyoneer posted:Next turn: give me the cool S
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Aug 20, 2019 03:56
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I'd like to buy a bowel, please! |
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Aug 20, 2019 03:58
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alnilam posted:give me the cool S
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Aug 20, 2019 04:00
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Uh. That squiggly one. You know it looks like this! an interrobang! for 1000 thousand!
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Aug 20, 2019 04:09
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"The...cool S?," Alex says, a look of confusion fluttering across his face. This is it. The moment you have been waiting for your entire life. You whip the pad of paper and pen you always carry in your back pocket, wordlessly you draw three vertical lines at the top of the page, then three more below them. You show this to Alex. Inwardly you smile. You are about to absolutely rock his, and a portion of the daytime television viewing audience's world. |
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Aug 20, 2019 04:11
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"this man delivers video game secrets from the far off land of japan" bing bong "alec, who is my friend from schools uncle?"
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Aug 20, 2019 04:14
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alnilam posted:give me the cool S "cool s?" says honey best to her husband lucius. "baby, I need the cool d"
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Aug 20, 2019 04:23
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Manifisto posted:"cool s?" says honey best to her husband lucius. "baby, I need the cool d" |
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Aug 20, 2019 04:41
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:"The...cool S?," Alex says, a look of confusion fluttering across his face.
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Aug 20, 2019 13:44
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:"The...cool S?," Alex says, a look of confusion fluttering across his face. Alex: That's great and all but you know this is Jeopardy, right? |
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Aug 20, 2019 14:40
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google THIS posted:Alex: That's great and all but you know this is Jeopardy, right? alec.... what is... yes.
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Aug 20, 2019 14:47
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Damnit! Now I'll NEVER make it into Who Wants To Be a Millionaire after they see this post! |
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Aug 20, 2019 15:02
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now i want to go on jeopardy, look alec trebek in the eyes and call him pat sajak the whole time.
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Aug 20, 2019 15:05
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okay stay with me, making a function called updog that's got a labyrinth of references that snake thru multiple files until it actually calls the performative code and then just using that function everywhere in your open source collab |
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Aug 20, 2019 20:54
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google THIS posted:Alex: That's great and all but you know this is Jeopardy, right? *Quietly adds a question mark after the cool s* |
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Aug 20, 2019 21:11
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The only cool S I need:  courtesy of blaise rascal in byob: the font: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3860124
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Aug 20, 2019 22:05
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BrownianMotion posted:okay stay with me, making a function called updog that's got a labyrinth of references that snake thru multiple files until it actually calls the performative code and then just using that function everywhere in your open source collab Nothin', what's updog's callstack with you? |
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Aug 20, 2019 22:31
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Jolo posted:The only cool S I need: 
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Aug 20, 2019 22:35
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Heather Papps posted:now i want to go on jeopardy, look alec trebek in the eyes and call him pat sajak the whole time. I'll take "Papps Smeared" for $1000 P-uh-Alex! The answer is: I cut this off and shoved it down the toilet in my yacht. What is "the head"? |
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Aug 20, 2019 23:15
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his name is alec stop this
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Aug 21, 2019 02:53
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imposter syndrome me: i dunno what to tell you doc, i try to reread them over once or twice to make sure im getting a giggle out of them before hitting submit my therapist: and that's exactly why I am here--over the course of the next months we're going to help you come to terms with the fact that you are a bad poster.
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Aug 21, 2019 19:04
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impoyster syndrome: me: doc, I know you've said that I need to focus more on myself but sometimes it feels so shellfish of me doc: well, you are a small oyster me: quack quack (or whatever sound oysters make)
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Aug 21, 2019 19:13
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me: doc, I can't stop climbing on top of my friend's shoulders and draping a long trenchcoat over both of us and wearing a wig in order to do important grown-up things doc: i'm afraid you ahve impostor syndrome. i can treat you for it of course, you'll just have to pay for this session. do you have a credit card me: ah yes of course, one moment *pulls out credit card and hands it over* doc: very good, one mome....sayyy this just says "Mister Adult" on it! *pulls fake beard off of my face* me: drat he's good
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Aug 21, 2019 19:35
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alnilam posted:me: doc, I can't stop climbing on top of my friend's shoulders and draping a long trenchcoat over both of us and wearing a wig in order to do important grown-up things i feel like this approach to the joke could use some workshopping but i hope people get where i was going wihth it
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Aug 21, 2019 19:36
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Jolo posted:impoyster syndrome:
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Aug 21, 2019 19:44
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me rushing into the room: doc, sorry to burst in, I just had to see you, I've been up all night researching and I have reason to believe I have imposter syndrome in the second person my mom waking up: go back to bed
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Aug 21, 2019 19:46
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the therapist talking to my hot and strong wife: it's not great--he's presenting with the textbook symptoms of a deep-seated prosecution complex me: Objection, your honour! I believe the plaintiff is referring to a persecution complex. therapist: no...no I am not.
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Aug 21, 2019 19:53
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wait am i supposed to like, workshop my threads because i refuse.
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Aug 21, 2019 20:06
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Heather Papps posted:ba da ba ba baaaaaaa bee eater posted:ba da ba ba baaaaa Macnult posted:megathread discussing the legality of throwing pork products at police officers and addressing the differences between state-specific and federal offenses for each product Macnult posted:a wet dreams thread where posters think you’r e going to be talking about sex before they click on the thread but actually it’s just dreams that involve a wet environment such as a water slide or an ocean and the entire purpose of the thread is to increase forum traffic without actually talking about sex Macnult posted:jokes that are okay but you want someone else to post the thread for you and you might contribute yourself or at the very least throw in an empty quote or two Macnult posted:haha just had a pretty good idea for a thread it’s about pooping while at the office lol can you imagine bee eater posted:a thread called offshore accounts and everybody posts like they are in the ocean/sea like they say blub blub or thank god i have my water wings or maybe hey look a fish Macnult posted:flirting but with esoteric video game terms Macnult posted:flirting but with a computer Macnult posted:italian/french impressions thread that’s locked just before page two
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Aug 21, 2019 21:32
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thanks for thinking my bad jokes were good, alnilam |
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Aug 21, 2019 21:33
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it's a paradox the jokes were made in the context of being bad jokes but they became good jokes because they were good at being bad jokes in a comedic way
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Aug 21, 2019 21:36
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alnilam posted:it's a paradox the jokes were made in the context of being bad jokes but they became good jokes because they were good at being bad jokes in a comedic way i am sorry don't ban me please
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Aug 21, 2019 21:54
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me: doc, I think I'm going nuts. I have these recurring dreams that I am a bunch of olives, cheeses, and some cured meats. doc: my god, this is serious. you have sorry sorry it was a b/dad joke but I couldn't help myself.
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Aug 21, 2019 21:54
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doc: hate to tell you this, but it looks like you don’t have much time left me: wait what?? doctor this isn’t right i thought things were going fine all i h- doc: not much time left till your cold is gone! [goes in for a high five while i’m still petrified from shock] |
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Aug 21, 2019 22:04
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me: so doc what's the diagnosis? the flu? doc: a cold me: ah okay hm, shingles?
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Aug 21, 2019 22:43
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what do you call a duck with a time machine? a time pair a ducks? what did one fat ghost say to the other? i'd love to be a small but i'd be happy to fit into a medium!
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Aug 21, 2019 22:45
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bee eater posted:me: so doc what's the diagnosis? the flu?
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Aug 21, 2019 23:04
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here is an op i was making (but when i find myself putting too much effort into a post i know it will not b a good thread so here is just hte post) in this joke bob vila helps you fix up ur posts with modernity and mature experience know-how isn't htat right bob (it's right). On today's show we're going to unveil a recent bee eater post renovation we've been working on in secret for the past 10-20 min. The first, the post in question:  yeesh what a mess! Out of touch and encouraging bad habits (vibing), now let me show you what i managed 2 whip up: 
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Aug 22, 2019 00:26
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