Solice Kirsk posted:

Is that an avs story? The lack of capitalization always throws me off.

Sagebrush posted:

there's a good quote (maybe in this thread!) from a primate researcher who's like

"The main difference between the primates is how they handle a screwdriver you accidentally leave in their enclosure.

A gorilla will look at the screwdriver, sniff it, pick it up, put it back down and ignore it from then on.

A chimpanzee will pick up the screwdriver, turn it over, play with it a bit, then use it to murder a small animal or another chimp.

An orangutan will pointedly ignore the screwdriver until it thinks you aren't watching, then pick it up and hide it in a secret location, and later use it to build a spaceship to return to its home planet."

Doc Hawkins posted:

"boo this orangutan sucks boooo"

"who the f...ken! how the gently caress did you get out there?!"

"what's that, disgusting swamp ape? you must have me confused with someone else, i am a human child and i am fed up with how much you suck, booooo, mommy, ask to talk to otis' manager"

Krankenstyle posted:

why isnt there a pyf ape/monkey thread already

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Be the change you want to see in the world

Krankenstyle posted:

as the op of the pyf bird thread i have a lot on my mind

Bertrand Hustle posted:

I don't have a favorite ape or particularly strong ape opinions in general or I might do it

wesleywillis posted:

I'll be most of those incels are such virgins they were born by C section.

Tubgirl Cosplay posted:

Throwing axes are the superior alternative hunting platform anyway

Nine out of ten you just scare the everliving gently caress out of some deer/conk it on the head with a handle, one out of ten that thing is dead as hell

EorayMel posted:

Brawnfire posted:

"Hello! Looks like you're trying to encourage respecting personal space in a developing child! Cool beans, I'd love to help! Try selecting the 'people have boundaries' tooltip, and scrolling down to-"

"-hm. You have selected 'racial motives' and 'unexamined privelege'. These are not recommended for use with child development. Would you like some helpful hints?"

SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:

someone once said on these very forums

ska is the music that plays in a fat kids head when they get good news

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider / Musk goes to Mars and makes bad cars

barbecue at the folks posted:

canyoneer posted:

I remember this one as "what plays in a 13 year old's head when he gets extra mozzarella sticks"

935 posted:

LOL at all these goons whose self confidence is so low they question wether they would beat a loving monkey in a fistfight.

In one corner we have the apex predator - top of the food chain - has literally taken over the entire planet and dominated every other species to ever walk, swim or fly. The ones that wouldn't submit, we wiped right off the face of the earth.

In the other corner, we have a monkey. Three feet tall, literally eats poo poo, walks around with its ballsack exposed

Goons *presses pause on their Nintendo 3DS, de-fogs their glasses, wipes snot from nose with sleeve* "well technically the muscle fibers are different than human muscle fibers therefore a monkey would definitely eat my penis if it were determined and there's nothing I could do to stop it"

Toadvine posted:

A chimp also has hands on his feet so while you've possibly immobilized his arms he's still got ten finger-toes wrapped firmly around your vine and grapes

Terry Pratchett, a Famous Dwarven Proverb posted:

When their head is level with your waist, your groin is level with their teeth.

CzarChasm posted:

Another request please, the series of stories about a tough guy, going through his day and roundhouse kicking the poo poo out of people that mildly annoy him. It usually contains the phrase "That did it" and some pithy one liner.

freeedr posted:

Does anyone have the bizarre quote of a child making GBS threads on a roof and getting shot in the gut by a homeowner and saying weird things



If you have never seen the quote this request probably looks weird

BLANCHES oval office posted:

agh im going to squat on crazy batshit gun mans roof!!! i hope he has children in the home while i squat barefoot onto his badly done roof and push out me colon snakes. his wife is probably cozy in her snuggly fleece wizard looking robe and the man is drinking a beer. they are not expecting something so bizarre as a child like me to be making GBS threads above them. ahaha im a gradeschool kid who is drinking gin out of a gatorade bottle and now im shot in the stomach by a stupid as gently caress person from the worst state in the country. aaaagh im gutshot and me turds are pouring out silly putty like from the birdshot that riddle me full of deathholes. hail satan death to america i was in band and i was learning clare de lune on the oboe and my mother loved me but now im dead because of guns and idiots.

Rabbit posted:

It also causes cancer and leprosy.

I was so addicted that I re-registered as soon as I was banned.

I've also realised that being a member of this forum implies paying for friends. This would be ok if any of you were my friends, but I hate all of you (except the nice people from my previous threads, they are wonderful and lovely!).

This thread is for members who are having trouble living in the real world due to SA.

The paranoid schizophrenic in me would also like to point out that "SA" could easily mean "Substance Abuse" and I hereby declare that it is poisoning our hearts and our minds as we grow ever dependent upon it's offerings of so-called "humor".

Discuss, or feel free to mock me for my grammar and/or post count.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

EorayMel posted:

Something Awful is addictive

Outrail posted:

Zoning out from life is addictive. Some people do so by shitposting with a bunch of internet strangers. Something awful is a symptom of addiction, not the addiction.

Somfin posted:

Kids are calling it "just post."

Shifty gimbal posted:

Lmao, seems like it would be very hard to do with this broken-rear end product.

Notorious b.s.d. posted:

paying $17 a month to wait in line

Sombrerotron posted:

to play a 15-year-old grindfest, no less

KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD posted:

compared to jeffrey epstein's plane it's a downright bargain

Nordick posted:

I am not entirely sure if I have ever envied anyone as much as this dude cuddling a goddamn raven

https://i.imgur.com/6HrUhAC.gifv

Tsaedje posted:

Stroke the raven evermore

Outrail posted:

There're people young enough to be called kids on this creaky dead forum?

Uptime Sinclair posted:

re: wow classic rollout being a shitshow

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Son of Sam-I-Am posted:

Anyone under 30 is a kid at this point.

Absurd Alhazred posted: