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quote:RobinW782461 Jul 12, 2019
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 23:13 |
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# ? Apr 27, 2024 16:15 |
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I love the people who raised their kids in marriages so hideous that they themselves can’t help mentioning it every 80 characters but don’t think that they had any responsibility to provide a home life that wasn’t tense and hateful. It’s really obvious who the emotional incest people are because they are like “she took my husband’s side even though he’s a filthy cheater drug user.”. You just know they have been telling their kids this since they came out of the womb. “He turned them against me from an early age.” :|
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# ? Aug 21, 2019 23:35 |
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RoboRodent posted:I have an ongoing goal that once I'm more settled in my life (as opposed to living in a bachelor suite while I go to school in my thirties, lol) to look into becoming a foster parent. This is something I feel pretty strongly about. I want to do this. I'm not ever going to have kids of my own, between a deformed uterus and being pretty gay and also pretty chronically single, but i could be a good home for kids who need it for a while. Would you try and help the child under your care? Would you treat said child as a human being? Have you thought about what it would take to try and foster a child, and made some sort of preparations to do this? Are you ready for the work it takes to raise/care for a child? And most importantly, would you chuck a vulnerable child who needs your help away because they weren't exactly what you hoped for? If you answered Yes to any of these questions, (or No to the last one), then you would definitely be a better foster parent than the fucks in these stories. If it is what you want to do, then when you are ready and in a position to do so, please do it, and congratulations on doing a good thing.
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# ? Aug 22, 2019 01:29 |
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quote:
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# ? Aug 22, 2019 01:34 |
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RoboRodent posted:I have an ongoing goal that once I'm more settled in my life (as opposed to living in a bachelor suite while I go to school in my thirties, lol) to look into becoming a foster parent. This is something I feel pretty strongly about. I want to do this. I'm not ever going to have kids of my own, between a deformed uterus and being pretty gay and also pretty chronically single, but i could be a good home for kids who need it for a while. If you're concerned about being good enough, that means you're open to feedback and either better than you think or capable of improving. The bad foster parents go into it thinking they know exactly what to do and bristle at anyone giving them constructive criticism. Some foster parents worry what if I can't provide what my foster children need? while others worry what if my neighbors think I'm a bad parent? . There's a huge difference in attitude between the two.
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# ? Aug 22, 2019 03:37 |
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[/quote] I bet the daughter in TN started sweating bullets at the thought that maybe her mom was trying to make steps to move in with her. I'm always surprised at how little self-awareness these parents have. quote:Hello to all. I guess there is no point in dragging out the details of my own personal betrayal by my youngest son. I really really want to know what this woman's husband said to the daughter-in-law. I'm also 100% sure that the strategies and "angles" they tried didn't include a genuine apology and an effort to change.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 17:00 |
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LoudPipesSaveLives posted:Now that I have kids I am doing my best to be a good dad, to be even handed with my kids and really enjoy raising them but holy hell is it hard. Their personalities are so strong from the time they're born and as they develop and become bigger kids they define themselves further and sometimes when we clash I really have no idea what to do to defuse things. The thing you aren't allowed to say in many forums is that a lot of the time parenting isn't enjoyable. Sometimes your kid is going to yell at you that they don't love you any more. Sometimes they're going to be in physical or emotional pain and you can't do anything to help. Sometimes your kid needs something when you're too exhausted to cope. Sometimes you're really angry at them and you have to restrain yourself and act like the parent. I like and love my kids (now grown), but I can acknowledge that comforting a devastated child is really hard work and really emotionally difficult; I want them to be happy and I know I can't make them happy right now. I don't know if I was a good parent; I can certainly think of things I wish I'd done differently. But the oldest, now moved out, comes home for supper once a week, give or take, and seems to be happy to be here. We all enjoy talking to each other, and the kids do come to me just to talk, and sometime for advice.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 18:05 |
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The way she throws "humorless" in there when describing her son I assume it was something insanely racist.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 18:15 |
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Arsenic Lupin posted:I think a really important part of good parenting is to apologize to the kid when you're wrong. This sets an example for the kid, that adults can be wrong just like children, and that when you're wrong you say you're sorry. Basically, don't claim infallibility ever. The other side of this is to acknowledge feelings on both sides. "I know you're really mad at me right now. You still have to pick up the Legos." Model that it's okay for them to be angry at you, that that is normal. But you still have to pick up the Legos. Oh man, my sister's (soon to be ex) husband refused to apologise to his kid even when he KNEW he had done something wrong because "why should I apologise to a four year old?" . How bad he was with the kid is definitely one of the things that precipitated their divorce.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 18:47 |
Broshevik posted:The way she throws "humorless" in there when describing her son I assume it was something insanely racist.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 19:13 |
Let's not jump to conclusions here. It could have been something insanely sexist too.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 19:29 |
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I bet the daughter in TN started sweating bullets at the thought that maybe her mom was trying to make steps to move in with her. I'm always surprised at how little self-awareness these parents have. I really really want to know what this woman's husband said to the daughter-in-law. I'm also 100% sure that the strategies and "angles" they tried didn't include a genuine apology and an effort to change. [/quote] Unfortunately she only has three posts total on the site but this was fun: quote:It has been ten months since my son has estranged himself from me. One by one, his two siblings have been blocked from his life and his father.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 20:41 |
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Shifty Pony posted:Let's not jump to conclusions here. Its becoming more and more visible that many older people like boomers and die hard free speech advocates who get super upset over the idea that somone is hurt by their words and language and will never accept that words can be hurtful.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 21:17 |
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pentyne posted:Its becoming more and more visible that many older people like boomers and die hard free speech advocates who get super upset over the idea that somone is hurt by their words and language and will never accept that words can be hurtful. I think a lot of them/us (I'm a boomer) know perfectly well that the words are hurtful, which is why they enjoy using them.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 21:24 |
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It is absolutely the accountability that bothers them. FYI, your white boomer parents don’t just treat you with paternalism - they treat all our parents with it. I grew up feeling almost sorry for some of you and your obviously awful parents. Whiteness + narcissism is a hell of an abuse combo. Obviously there’s an analog for POC parents who take out all their bitterness at white adults on their helpless children. But it seems like RP is mostly white boomers and the culture of authoritarianism that goes with that.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 21:44 |
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Arsenic Lupin posted:(I'm a boomer) GET 'IM! quote:know perfectly well that the words are hurtful, which is why they enjoy using them. Yeop. To this day I still feel hurt/disgusted sometimes when I remember some of the hurtful or mocking things that were hurled at me when I was younger
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 21:55 |
They just care about not having any consequences for themselves, not others. The "free speech" poo poo is entirely self-serving, just look at all the RP posts where thy try to police what their estranged kids are allowed to say or do.
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# ? Aug 25, 2019 22:05 |
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Couldn't decide on which thread to put this in, feels more topical here. My mom(50s) claims the reason she hates my girlfriend(21f) is because she is my(24m) secret half sibling quote:This is seriously ridiculous so bare with me.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 04:38 |
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Ebola Roulette posted:I really really want to know what this woman's husband said to the daughter-in-law. I'm also 100% sure that the strategies and "angles" they tried didn't include a genuine apology and an effort to change. My biggest surprise with that story is that the OP didn't say what prompted the insult (because you know it was an insult) from the husband. These people are wizards of selective memory, and while I'm sure she's memory-holed what her husband said aside from it being "justified,' I would have expected her to cling to any tiny, probably-imagined flaw in her daughter-in-law to help build her case that she's turned the son into a crazy drug cultist or WTFever.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:00 |
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Not once did the mom go “Clarissa, it’s time for me to explain this” ok I’m sorry I got it out of my system Ok, realtalk that is some impressive controlling behavior right there in that it’s such boldface bullshit logically and logistically and can be easily disproven, but she’s really fuckin rolling with the incest angle.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:01 |
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I mean the mom is obviously nuts and should be cut off but who the gently caress favorably compares their girlfriend to a Bratz doll???
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:21 |
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:I mean the mom is obviously nuts and should be cut off but who the gently caress favorably compares their girlfriend to a Bratz doll??? Bratz dolls might've been her only solace while being raised by her insane mother. I think someone that's 24 now is the right age to have grown up when they were the cool new doll.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:31 |
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LadyPictureShow posted:Bratz dolls might've been her only solace while being raised by her insane mother. Yeah I dunno just jumped out at me.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:32 |
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Haha, I getcha. That's about the only solution I could come up with to 'favorably compares girlfriend to a Bratz doll'. Those things looked bizarre (but I have seen makeup artists on Instagram 're-create Bratz doll looks, and some of them looked pretty cool)
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:42 |
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Probably best just call it a nostalgia filter, Bratz dolls have been off the market for years. (Forcibly so, Mattel sued for obscure legal reasons)
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:47 |
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Probably best just call it a nostalgia filter, Bratz dolls have been off the market for years. (Forcibly so, Mattel sued for obscure legal reasons) So the REAL Bratz were Mattel all along! ... I'll show myself out.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 05:58 |
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:I mean the mom is obviously nuts and should be cut off but who the gently caress favorably compares their girlfriend to a Bratz doll??? Some of the grammar indicates it's "virtually possible" this might not be the sharpest tool in the shed.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 06:45 |
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quote:Bucket, I’m just sorry that you’ve had this experience, you write well, I don’t always check my spelling either. My granddaughter was given one of those digital devices (Iphone or whatever you call those things) at the age of eleven. My son did not want his daughter to have one at her age but has shared custody of his daughter so there was little he could do about it. When she visited last week, I took her to lunch, she walked with her head down looking at this device. I finally told her I couldn’t handle her doing this and to please put it away while she was walking outside at least. Kids are different today and it’s not all positive. quote:GetPastIt, you’ve put into words what I’ve wondered myself, why do we remember the awful things people have said to us, and yet, for a daughter to have said what yours has said to you, I wouldn’t forget either. Words and actions are remembered when they are unkind towards us. I’ve not had that experience with estrangement, but it went on behind my back by the reaction of others towards me. A month into caring for a former stepdaughter and a neighbourhood mom came to me and asked bluntly if I was abusing this girl. That was so ludicrous because those two kids I raised that were not my own were constant challenges ringing in my ears, demanding my attention. I don’t know what this sentence means but I do find it fascinating that even her neighbors think she’s abusive. quote:J. should I say fortunately or unfortunately I can totally relate to your honesty. I was an only child, like first borne children, we’re often placed in a position of feeling overly responsible for ourselves in how we behave and overly responsible for others. I agree, most men don’t bother getting themselves worked up over things we may perceive as being important, it’s not to them as a rule. It’s why a male and female balance in raising children can be very effective. No wonder she hates you, you hag.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 19:17 |
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Bitter, manipulative, solipsistic baby-boomer who is perpetually mad about the natural process of children growing up to be their own adults, enters a forum filled with other bitter, manipulative, solipsistic baby-boomers who have driven off their own children. Proceeds to hear their own myopic, self-serving, circular-reasoned opinions out of the mouths of others. "Wow, thanks for everyone's input! It has enlightened me, it has opened my mind."
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 20:12 |
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Xik posted:Couldn't decide on which thread to put this in, feels more topical here. Hilarious insane lying aside, that "godly woman" bullshit is a huge red flag and probably worth alone. Nothing is ever going to be good enough for her. He could be seeing a girl who dresses in burlap pioneer clothes and it'd still be too flashy and worldly for Mommie Dearest.
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 21:42 |
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If God is for us, who can
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 21:57 |
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5er posted:Bitter, manipulative, solipsistic baby-boomer who is perpetually mad about the natural process of children growing up to be their own adults, enters a forum filled with other bitter, manipulative, solipsistic baby-boomers who have driven off their own children. Proceeds to hear their own myopic, self-serving, circular-reasoned opinions out of the mouths of others. Your name & av rule!
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# ? Aug 26, 2019 22:02 |
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MasBrillante posted:No wonder she hates you, you hag. This lady is completely batshit and has over 2K posts, her daughter took her to court and sued her for something the mother refuses to name. She has multiple bizarre posts about the baby bonnet and dress, including at least one of accusing the baby of being detached when she first saw her, and I guess she was just born bad nothing she could do I think she also has a second estranged adopted kid?? Hard to say, she's so nuts
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# ? Aug 27, 2019 01:29 |
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MasBrillante posted:Christ, the unmitigated drama. What in the gently caress is going on here?
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# ? Aug 27, 2019 03:16 |
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MasBrillante posted:
Am I over-reading into this, or is there some racism involved here? As in this is from a crazy white lady who adopted a black, or hispanic baby, (to give it a better life and opportunities that it wouldn't have had in "those" communities)? All the stuff about her "genetic pre-disposition" and the way she damns with faint praise how well the girl is doing at school due to her IQ, (which others like her don't have) makes me think that here is a racist undercurrent to this story. Which may be why the mother and daughter haven't bonded sufficiently for the crazy lady's taste.
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# ? Aug 27, 2019 03:55 |
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BrigadierSensible posted:Am I over-reading into this, or is there some racism involved here? As in this is from a crazy white lady who adopted a black, or hispanic baby, (to give it a better life and opportunities that it wouldn't have had in "those" communities)? All the stuff about her "genetic pre-disposition" and the way she damns with faint praise how well the girl is doing at school due to her IQ, (which others like her don't have) makes me think that here is a racist undercurrent to this story. Which may be why the mother and daughter haven't bonded sufficiently for the crazy lady's taste. There's another post this lady made where she talks about the child having their IQ tested and being significantly above average.
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# ? Aug 27, 2019 04:19 |
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BrigadierSensible posted:Am I over-reading into this, or is there some racism involved here? As in this is from a crazy white lady who adopted a black, or hispanic baby, (to give it a better life and opportunities that it wouldn't have had in "those" communities)? All the stuff about her "genetic pre-disposition" and the way she damns with faint praise how well the girl is doing at school due to her IQ, (which others like her don't have) makes me think that here is a racist undercurrent to this story. Which may be why the mother and daughter haven't bonded sufficiently for the crazy lady's taste. There's some serious old-school racism with the whole growing into her "genetic balance" and being "afraid" of her preteen daughter. She's insinuating her minority genes are taking over and wiping out the "civilized" white, middle class upbringing she has tried to instill in her adopted daughter. This old hag sounds like she's from the 1850s. I doubt her adopted daughter is doing anything more than reacting to the way she's being treated. Narcissist mom also likes having a smart daughter, despite how it contradicts her bullshit narrative.
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# ? Aug 27, 2019 06:02 |
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edit: she's so crazy i can't read her posts properly, one of the ones i quoted references the lawsuit and says it was in relation to her abuse. daughter won that lawsuit. the mother still doesn't think there's an issue. same mom posted:Thank you all for your input here. I think that I am in a comfortable place in regard to my daughter’s defection in my life and then something like this comes up here on the forum and I am close to tears again. Lundy, the AL-ANON saying is a mantra I need to hold in my life in all things. It is truly the only way to be and yet, my ego interferes and I try to micro-manage my mind and thoughts. Letting go is the only way to peace of mind. And so I might suggest that given the historical genes your elder daughter has inherited might this not be a factor in her behaviour towards you now? When my late husband and I adopted our daughter at the age of three months, the social worker gave us the information that her birth mother did not get along with her mother. I felt it was an odd remark to make and yet, it is one that keeps coming back to me time and again. At the time I felt confident in telling myself, I am a different person that her birth mother’s mother; we are different people, she will be living in different circumstances. And for the first twelve or thirteen years of her life, she was a sweet, thoughtful, fey child, unusual but I loved her unusualness. And then one day she lost her temper with me because I’d asked her to put on a pair of snowpants when she was going skating and she blew. Her face contorted, she screamed at me, it was so out of proportion to the situation; she was someone whom I did not know. It was a demarcation point for me. Gradually her own personality began to take over until she became who she was, her mix of genes, her personality formed, nature over nurture, took over. I think you’ve answered your own question in that your former husband sounds like a narcissist with his assumption that you were the problem and based elective therapy on that. And yes, CeCe, therapy with the right person more than helps. We’re so mired down in our own desperation when our children reject and abandon us, unheard of in my time, that we can’t see the forest for the trees (I think I’ve got that right…I always turn things around…the trees for the forest, no that doesn’t sound right) same mom posted:MLou, what can I say…my heart goes out to you and would agree, your wife is realistic. I’ve said the same thing about my ED. I love my daughter but she is not the child I raised now. She was a sweet child, an intriguing child, I used to look at her and think, you’re a wise old owl in a child’s mind. Yet, she did continual ‘walkabouts’ and yes, she is half Australian, half English. Her birth mother is Australian. We were told at the time of her adoption that her mother did not get along with her mother. Whatever ‘it’ is, I believe is partly the result of genetics. I am an Aussiemom to two furry dogs…Australian Shepherds, a breed which has not come from Australia but western Europe it is believed. I came to this board because I wanted to hear how other people in a similar position to mine, dealt with it, never thinking that in the process of doing so, as I’d thought I coped reasonably well now, that I needed to heal more myself. What I read here has stripped several layers from my consciousness, like peeling an onion, what I thought I’d coped with and put to bed, is still there. This is helping me work through ‘stuff’ I thought I’d worked through and hadn’t. It’s also reinforced me too in becoming stronger, not accepting responsibility for being a shameful mother. I am not. Never was. But what I was buying into, I needn’t have bought into. I was being brainwashed by a damaged individual. I am far stronger for having been part of this forum. gonna go out on a limb and assume kid's indigenous ohhhh what's this, more than 100 posts in and she finally lifts the veil same mom posted:Tired Mom, I was also accused of ‘not being there’ by my daughter when she was in her very early twenties. This was in relation to her sexual abuse. This is the guilt projected onto me, as a mother who should have known and protected her and didn’t because I did not know. There were several times during my daughter’s childhood when I mentioned her behaviour with this perpetrator but much is lost in time but otherwise, I never suspected what was going on. When my daughter made this comment, I knew she was ready to try and deal with this very painful issue. I had spoken to therapists with the women’s shelter in town and they informed me that she had two options: one, a civil suit, the other criminal charges. I paid for her lawyer, she chose a civil suit. No need to go further with this other than to say, I wouldn’t take on someone else’s projections. I found dealing with both girls I raised, that projecting onto me was like a game of tag to them. Not long ago, as I’ve mentioned here my ED wrote a letter to an editor of her local paper in response to an article on “we’re only as good as we treat our mom” and in this, she mentioned that parents need to put a little elbow grease into the raising of their children. This comment only pointed out to me that she appears to have blocked out the considerable energy I put into raising her. I just don’t think you can take on entirely the accusations these people level at you…listen to them, assess whether you feel there is merit in them or not, take ownership of what you feel is right to you and then remember, projecting is a way of protecting them from dealing with reality. Blame mom is the game. Don’t buy into it all. same mom posted:Lucy 2, don’t put yourself down as a mom. The trite comment that you’ did the best you could at the time’ is so much hot air to me. If we become parents, most people do try their best, that goes without saying. We’re not perfect human beings, nor are our children perfect beings, though some never give a thought to that and blame us imperfect parents not looking at the fact that they are imperfect as well. You may have missed many things in raising your children, so did I. One very serious one of sexual abuse which was going on under my nose and on my watch as a parent, still I didn’t ‘see’ it though at times I felt uncomfortable because of it not knowing what ‘it’ was. We beat ourselves up too quickly when things go wrong like this thing with estrangement or as has been noted, adult children divorcing their parents. Who would have thought of that term when we were growing up. As much as I dislike ‘buzz words’…this pretty much describes what we’ve been through. And is it our fault…? Why is everyone looking for fault or blame? Why does that have to happen to label something just to justify their actions? I try to look at raising my children as a career, it was that part of my life, I was there to help those kids along the pathway of life, to hopefully imprint some of my values given to me by my parents. Hopefully in the sum total of their lives they might have an inkling that I gave them a blueprint for their lives…but I somehow doubt it…..and being a parent can be a thankless job at times. There are no guarantees in life. And I can say that because I had a nice massage yesterday and while my world is often topsy-turvy, this morning it happens not to be, until something comes along to turn it upside down again. well i hope this lady dies. good on her kid/s for cutting her out Mx. fucked around with this message at 07:31 on Aug 27, 2019 |
# ? Aug 27, 2019 06:19 |
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Oh wow, there's a whoooole thing about Aboriginal Australian kids being stolen from their parents and forcibly adopted into white families or white-run 'schools' that almost inevitably abuse them and treat them as slaves and consider it proof of their generic inferiority when they don't act the perfect child.
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# ? Aug 27, 2019 07:22 |
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# ? Apr 27, 2024 16:15 |
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Jesus christ this stuff is challenging to parse.
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# ? Aug 27, 2019 12:32 |