Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

nullfunction: Jan 24, 2005; Nap Ghost

Wizard of the Deep posted:

It's simple, really KPIs are a derivative measurement of Epic/Enabler Value Streams, which are determined by a combination of the Kanban backlog and functionally-bumpered budgets. Those are described in your Mosaic Portfolio Canvas by Epic Owners and Key Architects. Your Portfolio Coordination autogenerates Programs from your Company of Peers, your pKPIs, and an ad-hoc CI/CD Pipeline.

Try to keep up, because this Agile Train only makes stops when a Management Team Metric determines one is necessary.

Your Agile Team will be responsible for Stories over an Epic. For example, recall the stories of how Sisyphus became king, hosed his niece, cheated death, and was punished by Zeus. Sisyphus Becomes King is a story, with a number of features and issue resolutions. For this example, let's say our agile team has a self-established bandwidth of 12 points a cycle. That means if the KPIs indicate the Sisyphus Epic should be complete in 4.3 cycles, the average story should be about 13 points. This is flexible, and will depend entirely on your Corporate Implementation Guiderails.

The Agile Management Masters have already identified several Mandatory Features for the Sisyphus Becomes King Story: Sisyphus Dons The Crown, Sisyphus Marries Merope, Sisyphus Violates Xenia, Sisyphus Promotes Sailing.

Sisyphus Dons the Crown would be a feature, with a team-adjudicated number of points attached to it. Since this is a Feature to a Story, and we know we have a budget of 13+/-2 points for the story, we can estimate that SDTC should be 2, 3, or 5 points. Oh, all features should be assigned point values hard-locked to the Fibonacci series.

Daily Scrum Standups will help ensure all Agile Team Mates are On Course, unblocked, and tracking points through the Kanban boards correctly.

Simple, really.

Source your drat quotes.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:35

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 04:14

stevewm: May 10, 2005

Wizard of the Deep posted:

It's simple, really KPIs are a derivative measurement of Epic/Enabler Value Streams, which are determined by a combination of the Kanban backlog and functionally-bumpered budgets. Those are described in your Mosaic Portfolio Canvas by Epic Owners and Key Architects. Your Portfolio Coordination autogenerates Programs from your Company of Peers, your pKPIs, and an ad-hoc CI/CD Pipeline.

Try to keep up, because this Agile Train only makes stops when a Management Team Metric determines one is necessary.

Your Agile Team will be responsible for Stories over an Epic. For example, recall the stories of how Sisyphus became king, hosed his niece, cheated death, and was punished by Zeus. Sisyphus Becomes King is a story, with a number of features and issue resolutions. For this example, let's say our agile team has a self-established bandwidth of 12 points a cycle. That means if the KPIs indicate the Sisyphus Epic should be complete in 4.3 cycles, the average story should be about 13 points. This is flexible, and will depend entirely on your Corporate Implementation Guiderails.

The Agile Management Masters have already identified several Mandatory Features for the Sisyphus Becomes King Story: Sisyphus Dons The Crown, Sisyphus Marries Merope, Sisyphus Violates Xenia, Sisyphus Promotes Sailing.

Sisyphus Dons the Crown would be a feature, with a team-adjudicated number of points attached to it. Since this is a Feature to a Story, and we know we have a budget of 13+/-2 points for the story, we can estimate that SDTC should be 2, 3, or 5 points. Oh, all features should be assigned point values hard-locked to the Fibonacci series.

Daily Scrum Standups will help ensure all Agile Team Mates are On Course, unblocked, and tracking points through the Kanban boards correctly.

Simple, really.

Thanks! Makes perfect sense now! How did I not see this before?!

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:35

stevewm: May 10, 2005

Heffer posted:

Its scaling "agile" stuff up to an enterprise level.

Top layer is C-levels, middle layer is project manager types, bottom layer is work teams. Unless you're developing or provisioning new products, you're probably over in the sidebar System Team.

If you're thinking "how can processes adapted for tight feedback loops between developers and customers on rapid implementation cycles be used by C-levels who operate on quarterly/yearly cycles and have no connection to the end user?" then you're asking the right question.

Lean development is a pale echo of Lean manufacturing. Lean manufacturing came from Toyota's corporate principles that led them to success in the late 80s, early 90s. If your current Execs grew up as managers during that time period, they were probably indoctrinated with the fear that the Japanese are going to take over all our industries, and that we should copy all their processes to catch up. So they see "Lean" mentioned now, they see "Good Thing What Make Company Better", ignoring the fact that the Lean principles are targeted at manufacturing, and focus on improving performance, reducing waste, and removing defects. Not really a creative process at all.

Cross reference Six Sigma, which uses a lot more maths and charts and graphs, whereas Lean uses a lot of SOPs and flowcharts

Jesus christ I am so glad I don't work in a large enterprise.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:37

Wizard of the Deep: Sep 25, 2005; Another productive workday

nullfunction posted:

Source your drat quotes.

Sorry, that was from an Agile Schooling Seminar at my last mega-corp.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:38

SyNack Sassimov: May 4, 2006; Let the robot win.
��--Captain James T. Vader

Wizard of the Deep posted:

DANGER DO NOT READ

I started reading this but my brain locked up and bluescreened.

Don't read this if you value what's left of your sanity.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:39

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

Wizard of the Deep posted:

It's simple, really KPIs are a derivative measurement of Epic/Enabler Value Streams, which are determined by a combination of the Kanban backlog and functionally-bumpered budgets. Those are described in your Mosaic Portfolio Canvas by Epic Owners and Key Architects. Your Portfolio Coordination autogenerates Programs from your Company of Peers, your pKPIs, and an ad-hoc CI/CD Pipeline.

Try to keep up, because this Agile Train only makes stops when a Management Team Metric determines one is necessary.

Your Agile Team will be responsible for Stories over an Epic. For example, recall the stories of how Sisyphus became king, hosed his niece, cheated death, and was punished by Zeus. Sisyphus Becomes King is a story, with a number of features and issue resolutions. For this example, let's say our agile team has a self-established bandwidth of 12 points a cycle. That means if the KPIs indicate the Sisyphus Epic should be complete in 4.3 cycles, the average story should be about 13 points. This is flexible, and will depend entirely on your Corporate Implementation Guiderails.

The Agile Management Masters have already identified several Mandatory Features for the Sisyphus Becomes King Story: Sisyphus Dons The Crown, Sisyphus Marries Merope, Sisyphus Violates Xenia, Sisyphus Promotes Sailing.

Sisyphus Dons the Crown would be a feature, with a team-adjudicated number of points attached to it. Since this is a Feature to a Story, and we know we have a budget of 13+/-2 points for the story, we can estimate that SDTC should be 2, 3, or 5 points. Oh, all features should be assigned point values hard-locked to the Fibonacci series.

Daily Scrum Standups will help ensure all Agile Team Mates are On Course, unblocked, and tracking points through the Kanban boards correctly.

Simple, really.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:41

nullfunction: Jan 24, 2005; Nap Ghost

Wizard of the Deep posted:

Sorry, that was from an Agile Schooling Seminar at my last mega-corp.

Our agile training consisted of a class where we spent most of the time doing sprints where we would iteratively design and test a thing (paper airplane in our case), go through a retrospective, plan for the next iteration, and repeat.

Most of our teams have adopted agile in the sense of we're doing standups, estimating work, sticking to a fixed cycle, testing and measuring not just the deliverable but also the process as a whole as we go, and honestly that's really all I think most people need. We're accomplishing things more quickly and with higher quality than our old process now that people are over the initial shock and turmoil that comes with a big change.

What people seem to lose sight of is that it's a framework, not a prescription. If some piece of it doesn't work for your team, change that piece until things flow.

Everyone's got a price I guess but if you told me the above slide and wall of text is how your company does it I'd probably laugh myself out of the interview.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:47

nullfunction: Jan 24, 2005; Nap Ghost

I guess what I'm saying is agile is only as bad as you are. :smuggo:

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:48

Mute_Fish: Nov 9, 2009

Wizard of the Deep posted:

I�ve seen things you people wouldn�t believe.
Derivative measurement on fire off the shoulder of Value Streams.
I watched C-Levels glitter in the dark near the Agile Train.
All those moments will be lost in time, like KPIs in rain.

Thank you it all makes so much more sense now.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:49

lament.cfg: Dec 28, 2006; we have such posts
to show you

nullfunction posted:

Our agile training consisted of a class where we spent most of the time doing sprints where we would iteratively design and test a thing (paper airplane in our case), go through a retrospective, plan for the next iteration, and repeat.

Most of our teams have adopted agile in the sense of we're doing standups, estimating work, sticking to a fixed cycle, testing and measuring not just the deliverable but also the process as a whole as we go, and honestly that's really all I think most people need. We're accomplishing things more quickly and with higher quality than our old process now that people are over the initial shock and turmoil that comes with a big change.

What people seem to lose sight of is that it's a framework, not a prescription. If some piece of it doesn't work for your team, change that piece until things flow.

Everyone's got a price I guess but if you told me the above slide and wall of text is how your company does it I'd probably laugh myself out of the interview.

Congrats, you�re being agile as opposed to Doing Agile.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 21:56

Schadenboner: Aug 15, 2011; by Shine

I still don't understand what "Agile" is and why they bid on what they're going to do rather than just having their supervisors tell them what to do?

:saddowns:

# ? Sep 18, 2019 22:12

Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

Schadenboner posted:

I still don't understand what "Agile" is and why they bid on what they're going to do rather than just having their supervisors tell them what to do?

Its to Accelerate developer Velocity by making them move Fast by making them Sprint during their Rapid iterations for CONTINUOUS delivery

# ? Sep 18, 2019 22:16

Schadenboner: Aug 15, 2011; by Shine

Methanar posted:

Its to Accelerate developer Velocity by making them move Fast by making them Sprint during their Rapid iterations for CONTINUOUS delivery

I just make computar work good and network go fast. How is lean formed? How enterprise become agile?

# ? Sep 18, 2019 22:21

FISHMANPET: Mar 3, 2007; Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams

Heffer posted:

That RFP is at least 18 months out from being generally available, so pick your poison.

So LOL I had to be cagey because we're a public institution and internally the decision was known but that decision had not been made public, but our Board of Regents has now approved the contract so I can say publicly that we are ditching ServiceNow, and moving to TeamDynamix. So I would need to figure out if TeamDynamix has request item type functionality.

# ? Sep 18, 2019 22:41

LochNessMonster: Feb 3, 2005; I need about three fitty

Heffer posted:

Lean development is a pale echo of Lean manufacturing. Lean manufacturing came from Toyota's corporate principles that led them to success in the late 80s, early 90s. If your current Execs grew up as managers during that time period, they were probably indoctrinated with the fear that the Japanese are going to take over all our industries, and that we should copy all their processes to catch up. So they see "Lean" mentioned now, they see "Good Thing What Make Company Better", ignoring the fact that the Lean principles are targeted at manufacturing, and focus on improving performance, reducing waste, and removing defects. Not really a creative process at all.

It can be applied to software development (and probably other parts of IT too). If you look at your Kanban board or Sprint as a value stream you'd like to have as little stories as "work in progress" at the same time so people focus on finishing/shipping 1 specific story to add value as fast as possible. Having someone work on 5 stories at the same time means they will all take longer to complete and have a longer time before your work adds value. It also means your feedback loop will be longer and thus you're not failing (and adapting) quickly. Lean also looks at removing bottlenecks and making sure operations run as smoothly as possible. Any improvement that's not directed at the current bottleneck is not an actual improvement as it means work will just pile up quicker at the bottleneck.

That said, almost nobody knows how to do this properly which leads to "agile/devops/scrum/whatever does not work (for us)". Usually due to management not buying in or deciding they know better and overrule the methodologies principles. That usually ends in a downward spiral as such interruptions lead to poor results which can be used as 'proof' that agile doesn't work and thus requires them to interfere even more which of course leads to even worse results. Altogether it's a perfect way to make perfectly fine functioning teams feel and perform terribly.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 11:59

Mad Wack: Mar 27, 2008; "The faster you use your cooldowns, the faster you can use them again"

FISHMANPET posted:

So LOL I had to be cagey because we're a public institution and internally the decision was known but that decision had not been made public, but our Board of Regents has now approved the contract so I can say publicly that we are ditching ServiceNow, and moving to TeamDynamix. So I would need to figure out if TeamDynamix has request item type functionality.

we�re ditching service now too but funnily enough right as IT decides to ditch it the last two years they spent marketing it to other functions kicked in so now as we are leaving service now our finance, legal, and compliance people are moving onto it for ticketing. our hr and facilities people both have their own custom bespoke ticketing systems that require IE to access

big corps are really really funny

# ? Sep 19, 2019 12:45

TerryLennox: Oct 12, 2009; There is nothing tougher than a tough Mexican, just as there is nothing gentler than a gentle Mexican, nothing more honest than an honest Mexican, and above all nothing sadder than a sad Mexican. -R. Chandler.

LochNessMonster posted:

It can be applied to software development (and probably other parts of IT too). If you look at your Kanban board or Sprint as a value stream you'd like to have as little stories as "work in progress" at the same time so people focus on finishing/shipping 1 specific story to add value as fast as possible. Having someone work on 5 stories at the same time means they will all take longer to complete and have a longer time before your work adds value. It also means your feedback loop will be longer and thus you're not failing (and adapting) quickly. Lean also looks at removing bottlenecks and making sure operations run as smoothly as possible. Any improvement that's not directed at the current bottleneck is not an actual improvement as it means work will just pile up quicker at the bottleneck.

That said, almost nobody knows how to do this properly which leads to "agile/devops/scrum/whatever does not work (for us)". Usually due to management not buying in or deciding they know better and overrule the methodologies principles. That usually ends in a downward spiral as such interruptions lead to poor results which can be used as 'proof' that agile doesn't work and thus requires them to interfere even more which of course leads to even worse results. Altogether it's a perfect way to make perfectly fine functioning teams feel and perform terribly.

Yep. This is happening in the bank. I covered some guy's vacation on a Work Cell that was chosen as an Agile prototype. We were completely sidetracked by damagement choosing to insert new tasks and requests AFTER Sprint meetings where we all agreed and voted on the tasks we would complete for 1 week sprints. So our little time graph kept going up instead of down as tasks were completed.

Personally, I think upper management with very few exceptions needs to go down the toilet. C-level and up. Completely incompetent.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 12:47

Sepist: Dec 26, 2005; FUCK BITCHES, ROUTE PACKETS; Gravy Boat 2k

I stay out of the pipeline. I join our 9am standup and create tickets in JIRA linked to whatever Epic I'm working on, but after that I dont touch agile workflow. The client serving teams use sprints and timelines efficiently. My boss has talked about implementing kanban, story points, and sprints but we havent gotten around to it.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 12:47

Exit Strategy: Dec 10, 2010; by sebmojo

I'm out of this half-assed Agile hellscape. Real, proper server admin job with no lift requirement at a company to-hire. Not contract.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 14:23

LochNessMonster: Feb 3, 2005; I need about three fitty

TerryLennox posted:

Yep. This is happening in the bank. I covered some guy's vacation on a Work Cell that was chosen as an Agile prototype. We were completely sidetracked by damagement choosing to insert new tasks and requests AFTER Sprint meetings where we all agreed and voted on the tasks we would complete for 1 week sprints. So our little time graph kept going up instead of down as tasks were completed.

Personally, I think upper management with very few exceptions needs to go down the toilet. C-level and up. Completely incompetent.

I've worked with a few really good Product Owners and Scrum Masters how are used to this type of behaviour and went to hell and back to protect our sprints against external influence. Working in those teams was bliss, but it also helped we had some pretty senior people who weren't afraid to tell management to stuff it.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 14:38

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

Sickening posted:

I just had a network lead mention pots line in a design diagram for a totally new build out.

How upset should I be?

Faxes, modems, elevators, fire alarms and other dumb poo poo that facilities should be managing still have use for pots lines. Also if you need a backup emergency line for 911 they are useful.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 14:55

CPColin: Sep 9, 2003; Big ol' smile.

TerryLennox posted:

damagement

This is a good term.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 15:31

Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

Naming things is the hardest problem.

Prove me wrong

# ? Sep 19, 2019 18:57

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

We have a 'Product Owner' who assigns work to us every two weeks, and we're allowed to disagree and get ignored. Generally after one week, the priorities have changed. This means we're an Agile Scrum team according to him. Tomorrow's my last day, it's great.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:53

Darchangel: Feb 12, 2009; Tell him about the blower!

Mute_Fish posted:

�Wizard of the Deep� posted:
I�ve seen things you people wouldn�t believe.
Derivative measurement on fire off the shoulder of Value Streams.
I watched C-Levels glitter in the dark near the Agile Train.
All those moments will be lost in time, like KPIs in rain.

Thank you it all makes so much more sense now.

Nice!

# ? Sep 19, 2019 19:57

stevewm: May 10, 2005

I had to Google half the terms on that image.

Had no idea this was a thing.

Granted I've never been part of any large team like that though. And if that is what I had to deal with, I wouldn't want to.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:34

Wizard of the Deep: Sep 25, 2005; Another productive workday

Methanar posted:

Naming things is the hardest problem.

Prove me wrong

Here's the hardest problems in computer science:

0. Counting Things
B. Naming Things
Timing Things

# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:38

SyNack Sassimov: May 4, 2006; Let the robot win.
��--Captain James T. Vader

Wizard of the Deep posted:

Here's the hardest problems in computer science:

0. Counting Things
B. Naming Things
Timing Things

I've definitely heard of a lot of Naming Problems in computer science so I agree with this.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:41

Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

I remember my first scrum meeting where someone was talking about how everyone needs to get their stories submitted and I didn't know what the gently caress she was talking about and assumed it was like creative writing exercises or something.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:45

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware / Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: The Scrum Dumpster

# ? Sep 19, 2019 20:46

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

Scum Master

# ? Sep 19, 2019 22:46

ijyt: Apr 10, 2012

Thanks for reminding me that me and a couple of friends wanted to putz around and learn to code while making a simple game to keep it fun. One of them, first day, nominates themselves scrum muster and suggests we emulate a business.

They also really love KPIs. I hope I never work with them.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 23:05

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

ijyt posted:

Thanks for reminding me that me and a couple of friends wanted to putz around and learn to code while making a simple game to keep it fun. One of them, first day, nominates themselves scrum muster and suggests we emulate a business.

They also really love KPIs. I hope I never work with them.

half of this does not go with the other half, I will leave it up to the other readers to deduce what I mean.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 23:17

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

So Azure P2S VPNs suck, right? What do folks use for end-user facing VPNs in Azure.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 23:29

Darchangel: Feb 12, 2009; Tell him about the blower!

Wizard of the Deep posted:

Here's the hardest problems in computer science:

0. Counting Things
B. Naming Things
Timing Things

I want you to know that I respect what you did right there.

# ? Sep 19, 2019 23:48

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Sickening posted:

What is the the complete hard on there for using "lean" so often?

Businesses out there discovering the Toyota Production System like it's 1985

# ? Sep 20, 2019 01:51

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Jeoh posted:

We have a 'Product Owner' who assigns work to us every two weeks, and we're allowed to disagree and get ignored. Generally after one week, the priorities have changed. This means we're an Agile Scrum team according to him. Tomorrow's my last day, it's great.

My most recent experiment was assigning my team no work for an entire sprint, and then assigning seven stories that were entirely un-scoped and un-pointed the following sprint, but telling the team "I think you should all focus together on [extremely broad problem]" to see what happened

I haven't been there very long, but from my eyes, the team's productivity, alignment, and cross-functional collaboration with other teams has never been higher

# ? Sep 20, 2019 01:53

LochNessMonster: Feb 3, 2005; I need about three fitty

Woof Blitzer posted:

Scum Master

Scrotum Master.

Also, the most difficult thing of all is a question managers will ask you continously: �how long will x take to implement�.

With X usually being something they just heard/came up with, so essentially you have no idea what they actually want. It is also non scoped and likely has dependencies on other teams/vendors whose timelines you cannot influence but will definately impact your work.

# ? Sep 20, 2019 05:37

5er: Jun 1, 2000; Qapla' to a true warrior!

The past three pages have made me wince repeatedly like being forced to watch a video of CIA extracting info from a prisoner by ramming bamboo shoots up the peehole.

# ? Sep 20, 2019 17:20

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 04:14

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware / Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: ramming bamboo shoots up the peehole

# ? Sep 20, 2019 17:23

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

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