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 #1. The Black Room (2017) dir. Rolfe Kanefsky Viewed on Prime Paul (Lukas Hassel) and Jennifer Hemdale (Natasha Henstridge) have just moved into their dream house. But their happy marriage is about to be put to the test as they slowly discover the secret behind the black room in the cellar. Something else is already living in their new home and it is growing stronger every day. I decided to pregame for October with something I knew would suck, so I chose this movie some goon told me about last year about a demon that gives people orgasms while it kills them. I at least expected Skinemax levels of erotic competency with some gore thrown in, but what I got was like a porn without the sex scenes. Cheap fx, cheap cheap cinematography, poo poo writing, a bad midi score, it had all the hallmarks of a bad softcore porn parody but without any of the eroticism. It's bizarrely tame for the subject matter, and feels like an incredibly watered down version of that bit from "End of Days" when Gabriel Byrne's Satan seduces and bangs some woman and her daughter, but stretched out to feature length. If you're going to make a movie about the self destructive power of sexual desire, it better be either smart and subversive, or at the very least have a lot of nudity to pass the runtime. This one is far from smart, so it needed like 1000% more tits.  /5
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Sep 30, 2019 06:21
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 18) Leprechaun: Origins - 2014 - DVD I think I might be the only person who likes this one. Unlike the comedic heavy entries in the franchise, this one has more in common with the folklore horror subgenre. Four tourists in Ireland find out that the town they stopped at is using them for the yearly sacrifice to compensate the leprechaun from the nearby cave for his gold they stole. It's an interesting depiction of the leprechaun in this one. He's nothing like the Davis version, instead seeming more alien and primal as befitting one of the Tuatha de Danann. He still has his interest in gold, but for his recompense, blood or gold will do. I can understand why this film didn't do well as it's a pretty strong divergence from the previous leprechaun films, but if you like folklore horror, you might want to give this one a try.  19) Leprechaun Returns - 2018 - Prime First time watch for me. I'm on the fence with this one. I like that it's a direct sequel to the first film, though I wish they could've gotten more of the original cast to make an appearance. Allegedly Jennifer Aniston was contacted about being in the film but an agreement to her pay couldn't be reached in time. Warwick Davis declined to be in this one for familial reasons. The replacement for Davis does fine though it does seem like he's having trouble with his mouth prosthetics at times. It does feel like they weren't sure what tone to roll with on the movie. The first leprechaun film doesn't have the same level of comedy most of the franchise does so it's like for the first portions of the movie, it hews closer to the first film before finding it's feet and taking off for the last bit. All in all, it's not bad, just'll take me a few views to sort out how I feel about it. Final Thoughts: Leprechaun's a good franchise. It's even branched into comics. The movie tie in one was okay for what it was. The Bluewater one had some interesting ideas but I really wasn't a fan of the artwork and it made no sense for the leprechaun to have a human posse helping him out. I did like the concept of a war between the leprechauns and the Clurichaun. I'm not sure what the future holds for the franchise, but it'll be interesting to see.
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Sep 30, 2019 06:28
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In for 31! Just like the last few years I will try to only watch movies I haven't seen before, though there are some classics on stand-by just in case things get really dire. If a challenge comes up I'll join, which reminds me I never received last year's t-shirt  So, let's get started! #1. Crawl  This was quite the disappointment. Premise is great, but very little gore, too small-scale to feature some cool deaths and the area where two thirds of the movie takes place is poorly mapped. I had no idea how everything fit together, just that there was a safe zone, an area with cables, a blocked hatch and some destroyed stairs, I guess? It was never an actual place, just some thrown together setpieces so characters usually had to explain out loud whether they were safe or not. I wanted to see some alligators maul people, I got two people crawling...which, to be fair, is literally the title of the movie. #2. Ma  An adult buying underage kids alcohol and letting them party in her basement is already creepy enough that just a slight escalation would've pushed this to where it needed to be. Unfortunately, after a decent build-up, subtlety is thrown out the window and this movie gets too crazy, too fast. Such a waste. #3. Midsommar  Loved, loved, loved this. Hereditary was fantastic and I thought Midsommar was just as good. I hate not finishing movies in one go since it takes me out of the mood, so despite putting this on way too late I just had to finish it. It was worth being sleepy at work. Last year I saw Mandy early and the rest of October never came close to that experience, I fear this year Midsommar might've ruined the rest of this month for me.
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Sep 30, 2019 10:14
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4) The Tingler 1959 A doctor seeks to find what causes that tingling sensation when you're afraid. It's... A Big Fuckin' Centipede living in your spine!  This is the Tingler, and screaming sedates it. If you don't scream you can die of fright. It opens with an introduction from the master of gimmicks, William Castle, telling us it's ok if we need to scream. Cinemas at the time had vibrators under the seat. Dr Chapin (Vincent Price) doses himself and others with acid to try and induce fear via bad trips and capture the Tingler. One of these involves bright red blood in this otherwise black and white film. That was a great moment I really didn't expect. It's a fun movie. I could just listen to Vincent Price talk for hours. Wish his cooking show was on Netflix 5) Pieces 1982  It's exactly what you think it is. The ADR's really bad in parts. I'm guessing some of the actors were speaking Spanish and dubbed over in English as it's a Spanish/American production. It's kinda dull to be honest. Some gory scenes that were done well, but everything's by the numbers and there are no surprises here. Except the ending. Which is so stupid. bitterandtwisted fucked around with this message at 10:46 on Sep 30, 2019 |
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Sep 30, 2019 10:43
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 The Fog (1980) First-Time Watch: Yes Goddamn was this a bunch of fun. It was what I wish all ghost stories were: completely otherworldly and reality-bending, like something bleeding in from another dimension. The radio station/lighthouse is my dream setpiece, the seaside town is ideal, the fog is spooky as hell, the ghosts are cool looking, scary, and effective, the backstory is really compelling, and the characters are really well-written and likable (that cast!). I had a blast watching it and I'll definitely be putting this on the yearly rotation. With all that being said, I can't help but feel like there were a series of missed opportunities here. First and foremost, the town wasn't well-drawn—both geographically and as a community. I really wanted a stronger sense of the people and the local politics, especially with the dedication ceremony where it felt like it was almost getting into Jaws mayor territory with the tragic reality of the events bubbling to the surface. But it was never paid off, nor was having all of the townspeople gathered outside together in the middle of the witching hour while the fog rolled in. And speaking of, once it did fully roll across the town I wanted a much better sense of place, so that I understood how far the lighthouse was from the statue and from the church and from the house. That or I wanted the fog to feel far more claustrophobic between those spaces, like the horrifying mystery it is in The Mist. But instead it's located to small setpieces that we jump between for the sake of plot. All the right elements were there, but I feel like in a better version of this movie Janet Leigh is a city councilwoman up for re-election who is pushing the narrative of the conspirators as honorable founders despite knowing the terrible truth, then gets her comeuppance as the dedication ceremony turns to chaos when the fog rolls in and the ghosts want revenge not just for past sins but for present ones as well. The radio station also felt like it could have been better utilized as a voice of reason and information to quell a town-wide panic from afar rather than just helping with the couple of immediate problems we see.  That's far more complaint than praise, but that's because it's so frustratingly close to amazing. I had a terrific time with it: 8/10  The Changeling (1980) First-Time Watch: Yes I totally understand why this was mentioned in the same breath as The Fog and Poltergeist when I asked for recommendations. However, this is just the sort of ghost story that really doesn't resonate with me. I enjoyed the lead, I dug the mystery-solving, there were a couple terrific spooky moments (that seance!) and some really fun bits (college psychic department!), but overall I felt like I was watching a much slower, blander version of other films I've enjoyed a whole lot more. I'm not sure if the timeline works for this to have ripped off The Dead Zone's book, but the film adaptation a couple of years later does both the trauma/haunted by loss/paranormal connection better and the political figure narrative better, bigger, and weirder. Outside of the seance and a few other moments like the bathtub/child's floor, I didn't find the haunting to be particularly compelling—just a lot of banging pipes and a possessed wheelchair. The production design was also a letdown, feeling like a holdover from that period in the 70s where grey dreary realism reigned. But at the end of the day, the film doesn't do anything wrong, it just isn't for me. If I were to give it an objective rating it would be much higher, but my scale is based on how much I personally enjoyed it, so: 4/10
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Sep 30, 2019 11:24
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7. Opera (1987) Watched On: DVD  I haven't seen this one in... well 12 years or more. Back when my buddy that was way more into movies introduced me to Argento in general and I ended up back at his place watching it again. I'm not quite into giallo enough to know if this is considered one of Argento's good films but I personally love it. It has a few of my favorite shots, especially the climax in the Alps. So much beautiful green landscape while a life and death struggle chase unfolds. 8. Children of the Corn 4: The Gathering (1996) Watched On: DVD  This movie... it's a real let down off of Urban Harvest. While that was a ridiculous rollercoaster ride this feels like... well it feels like the local church trying to put on a haunted trail ride with a boring story bolted on. Lots of, "Oh it was all a dream moments" that got old too. So far I'm not hating the series but wow it's just ok. 9. Children of the Corn 5: Fields of Terror (1998) Watched On: DVD  This movie certainly feels of it's time. The music, the characters, the... interesting choices of camera angles and oh hey, Kane Hodder has a small part as a bartender for some reason along with Fred Williamson as the town sheriff. About half way through the movie we get David Carradine as a cult leader and holy poo poo he should have done more roles like this, he's got the perfect aura about him for it. This is yet another plot where the town seems content to let a creepy as gently caress and exploitative cult just operate willy nilly. This might also be my version or whatever but there was some god awful ADR work going on. The lips barely matched in scenes. And on a final note, I felt every minute of this run time, good lord.
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Sep 30, 2019 11:41
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9. Sept. 29, 2019 The Last Warning (1929, Paul Leni) Flicker Alley Blu-ray An actor mysteriously dies during a performance on stage and the rest of the cast are all suspects in the murder. The police make everyone stay in the theater so they can find the killer after the body of the actor disappears. Sounds familiar? While the story itself is kind of silly (and really just another variation on The Cat and the Canary), Paul Leni makes this fun with endless visual tricks. While it's typical of late silents to have some really nice work, this is in the same area as films like Sunrise and Lonesome with constantly moving cameras. They also re-use the opera set from The Phantom of the Opera. While it's appropriately spooky, the bodies don't exactly pile up, but I liked the atmosphere. As with many silent films, while this is from Universal's 4K restoration, the best surviving elements were a French dupe and a 16mm print, so the continuity can be a bit odd sometimes, but it's better than not existing at all. 3.5/5 10. Sept. 29, 2019  The Old Dark House (1963, William Castle) Indicator Blu-ray [uncut color version] You know you're in for a spooky movie when the opening titles begin with an evil laugh and feature illustrations by Charles Addams. While I think the James Whale film is a better film, this is a pretty fun remake that goes in a totally different direction. This time, it's William Castle and Hammer working together. So, it has Castle's sense of humor, while you have an all-British cast (except for Tom Poston). Among the cast are some of my favorite character actors like Robert Morley and Peter Bull. The murders in the film are pretty surreal and sort of remind me of the same tone as The Ladykillers. Stangulation by trumpet, stabbed in the neck with knitting needles, and a gun collector getting shot by Napoleon's rifle, plus an exploding clock. One detail I thought was amusing was that Roderick Usher is an atheist in the '32 film, while an additional Femm is added to this film that's a religious fanatic building his own Noah's ark. 4/5 Egbert Souse fucked around with this message at 13:38 on Sep 30, 2019 |
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Sep 30, 2019 13:35
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For those of us who use Letterboxd, and for anyone on the fence about making one, they've just announced a partnership with JustWatch.com. Premium members can go in their settings and choose a Preferred Streaming Services. You can then sort any list, including your watch list, but what's available on any of your Preferred Services or specific ones.    You can still sort by genre, decade, and other qualifiers:  This is immensely handy.
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Sep 30, 2019 14:00
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2. Night of the Comet When a comet evaporates almost all of humanity, the survivors etc you know the deal. Expected some schlocky tongue in cheek bullshit that the Simpsons made fun of decades ago. What I got was far better than that! A big part of what makes this movie good are the leads - while initially appearing very cookie cutter, they are actually taken seriously as people and they each get their tender moments. Very likeable! There are a lot of really funny and quotable lines but the humor is not overbearing, so I'd hesitate to call this a comedy. The red dust setting also makes for some really nice shots, and so does the movie's penchant for often nonsensical coloured lighting. Would be a great, small scale companion piece to Dawn of the Dead.
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Sep 30, 2019 14:28
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Franchescanado posted:For those of us who use Letterboxd, and for anyone on the fence about making one, they've just announced a partnership with JustWatch.com. That's great, I use both sites quite a lot so it'll be nice to have them together.  6. Evil Dead (2013) (re-watch) (blu-ray) In an attempt to quit heroin cold turkey, some friends bring Mia to a remote cabin owned by her family. It's been abandoned for years and is in absolutely terrible condition, but even worse is the grisly scene they find in the basement. When one of the guys gets curious and reads aloud from an ancient book, a force of pure evil is unleashed and a nightmare of possession and violence ensues. This is an insanely bloody and gory movie, to the point where it's almost hard to believe it came from a major studio. Obviously this is a remake of Sam Raimi's classic The Evil Dead (and to a lesser extent, Evil Dead II). It does what all good remakes do - it takes elements of the source material and uses them in new ways without directly copying them. Maybe the biggest change is that there is no Ash character - probably a good decision, as no one could live up to Bruce Campbell. Mia is sort of the main character, but she also spends a significant amount of the film possessed... instead of one lone hero battling the forces of evil, we have a group of characters who all get the poo poo kicked out of them more or less equally. There are tons of little nods and references to the original films, but director Fede Alvarez never relies on them. Did I mention how violent and bloody this film is? I'm no stranger to on-sceen gore, but there are quite a few scenes that made me cringe hard. It can feel a little mean sometimes, but so did the original film - I think people tend to remember the slapstick and comedy elements of Evil Dead II more than the serious tone of the first. This movie is absolutely brutal, and once it gets started it doesn't relent until the end. I really love this remake - I don't think it's quite as good as either of the original films, but I do like it more than Army of Darkness. I'd go as far as to call it one of the best horror films of the past decade - in the top ~15 or so at least. If you have a strong stomach, I highly recommend it. 4.5/5 Total: 6 Watched: Dead of Night | Child's Play (2019) | Escape Room | Hell Night | The Wind | Evil Dead (2013)
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Sep 30, 2019 14:31
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10. Tourist Trap (1979) Watched On: DVD  After finally seeing this last year I can't imagine not watching it during the spookiest of seasons. Chuck Conners is the man and I would say this whole thing would fall to pieces without him. There's something about this movie that comes together for me so well, I think it's just the atmosphere of being stuck at night in such a weird and isolated locale. I'd also say you get one of the most scary scenes in horror out of Tourist Trap, it's just so effective (won't spoil it for first time viewers). 11. Hatchet (2006) Watched On: Tubi TV  I'll lead off that Hatchet isn't great, but it's one my friends and I had a lot of fun with and I love to revisit it from time to time. At the very least I'm never disappointed by the showcase of kills and over the top blood. It's like eating a Big Mac, you know it isn't good for you but it's comfort food, it's not supposed to be. Though I have to admit this is the first time where I felt like it was showing it's age. For some reason I wish more fun slashers used New Orleans and Mardi Gras as a backdrop. Also now that I've seen both, Hatchet feels very much like a modern version of Madman but, ya know, a lot more fun. 12. Poltergeist 2: The Other Side (1986) Watched On: Hulu  This is a new one for me and I'm no exactly sure why since I usually feel a need to finish a series. Julian Beck is really shining as a villain here but I was saddened to find out his spooky look was the result of being afflicted with stomach cancer  but the scene where Reverend Kane tries to bargain his way into the house is really really tense, I didn't expect to be on the edge of my seat wondering if Craig T. Nelson would eventually let him in. But I have to say I had a good time watching, it's quite the enjoyable PG-13 spook-a-doodle.
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Sep 30, 2019 14:49
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gey muckle mowser posted:6. Evil Dead (2013) I love the Evil Dead remake. It manages the rare feat where a movie is so mean it turns into comedy and the otherwise unpleasant cruelty sort of evaporates for me.
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Sep 30, 2019 15:12
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 Got started this past weekend by re-upping my Shudder account for awhile. 1. TERRIFIED - 4/5 stars This was my favorite of the weekend. Think suburban haunted-house horror in the vein of Insidious (though a little more intense and a little less room to catch your breath) - a trio of investigators descend on a neighborhood where people are being killed or vanished under extremely spooky circumstances. There were a lot of genuinely creepy moments and I even got got by a genuinely unnerving jump scare. The film is a liiiittle confusing in terms of the "Why" of everything, but I actually kinda like that. 2. BELZEBUTH - 3 Stars Occult/religious horror reminiscent of The Prophecy. Normally that's a favorite genre of mine but this film starts off with a bunch of newborns being stabbed to death. As a new father, this was... unfun. The film never won me back. I found it mostly plodding, though punctuated with frequent child death. I liked some of the performances (Tobin Bell owns) and there's one sequence of demonic activity in an old church that is REALLY effective, but I was otherwise lukewarm on this one. 3. CLIMAX - 3 Stars I needed a come-down from Belzebuth, so I thought I'd check out this Gaspar Noe fella... WHOOPS. A group of college kids in an empty school get dosed with LSD against their will and... challenges ensue. I found the first half hypnotic, with super long takes, lots of pounding electronic music, and a weird approach to credits and title cards. It felt like a music video version of Paris Is Burning. Once the acid hits and the film goes into the chaotic back half, I didn't think it held up as well. The camerawork stayed very mesmerizing and I was impressed with the craft of the film (letting the camera pan and flip and slide across tons of actors improvising a bad trip), but it just felt unrelentingly bleak, a little boring sadly, and I found myself wondering "Why am I here?", much like I feel when I'm the only person not high at a party, which is what this film simulates to perfection. I didn't think the style was strong enough to excuse what I found to be a kind of aimless, pointless experience. I think MOTHER! was the superior "version" of this film. I could definitely see this being someone's favorite film though, just because it's such an exhausting, tactile experience so give it a shot if that sounds up your alley! 4. DEATHGASM (Joe Bob Briggs Last Drive In version) - 4 Stars Horror-comedy about New Zealand metalheads who find a forbidden hymn that, when performed, causes problems. The film was pretty funny and the filmmakers obviously studied their Evil Dead 2 haaaard. It's a "juvenile" experience with dildos and fart jokes and buckets of blood, but the camp of it works in the larger context of the film. I watched this as part of a Joe Bob Briggs Last Drive In feature and I felt like JBB added to the experience quite a bit. It's not a masterpiece, but it would be a great party film for sure. That Dang Dad fucked around with this message at 16:48 on Sep 30, 2019 |
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Sep 30, 2019 16:45
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 VHS: Viral I was in the mood for some anthology horror and this is one that I missed a few years ago, probably because VHS 2 didn't really do it for me. I have to say though that I enjoyed this more than I was expecting to. The wraparound story was kinda boring and unnecessary, but I thought all three segments were at least interesting in some way. The first segment, Dante the Great, is dumb but I just couldn't help but enjoy the ridiculousness of the magic cloak. The second segment was probably my favorite and I enjoyed that it had a sci-fi twist. Bonestorm, the third segment, was pretty fun too. I'd compare it to the cult story in VHS 2 where things build to an unexpectedly ridiculous conclusion. I've certainly seen a bunch of shoddier anthologies over the past 5 years so I'd recommend this if like me you're in the mood and don't want to just watch Creepshow for the 100th time.  Tales From the Crypt Whereas I thought the t.v. series leaned a little too hard on the "rear end in a top hat gets their comeuppance" formula, the stories in this film have a lot of creativity to them. All of the stories have some sort of twist or turn that takes things in an unexpected direction, and overall I just enjoy the British charm of Amicus. This is directed by Freddie Francis, who also directed several Hammer films. One of the segments also features a great little role for Peter Cushing(who previously worked with Francis on a Frankenstein sequel), so if you're into Hammer definitely check this one out. Watched: 1. Child's Play(1988) 2. Child's Play(2019) 3. VHS: Viral 4. Tales From the Crypt
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Sep 30, 2019 17:10
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married but discreet posted:I love the Evil Dead remake. It manages the rare feat where a movie is so mean it turns into comedy and the otherwise unpleasant cruelty sort of evaporates for me. Even though there is a lot of over-the-top gore in this movie, the poo poo that really makes me shiver are all the little cuts and defensive wounds. Just that immediate reaction of "gently caress I know EXACTLY what that would feel like."
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Sep 30, 2019 17:17
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First round in from this weekend. All first-time viewings. Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971) dir. John D. Hancock It's got the ethereal nightmare vibes of a Lucio Fulci but without the gore. Zohra Lampert gives a fantastic performance as Jessica, delivering an intense woodland-induced paranoia. The subversion of traditional ghost story plotting is fun, and the finale builds into this intense Messiah of Evil/Carnival of Souls horrorshow. This had been on my watchlist for years just on the strength of the title and I'm glad it lived up to it. 4/5  Tales from the Quadead Zone (1987) dir. Chester Novell Turner Less gore and more chatter than I expected, but I'm in love with how audacious it is. The stories are all about complex familial strife and domestic violence, and they all bring a real Tales from the Crypt vibe with their focus on ironic comeuppance. Turner's got some really interesting ideas here -- the redneck family that turns every dinner time into a free-for-all feed-or-starve challenge (rather than the more obvious solution of cutting their sandwiches in half). Or even his penchant for surreal imagery, like in The Brothers when the corpse is dressed up as a clown in an act of posthumous revenge. Hopefully somebody can give Turner the money he needs to do his long talked about follow up, though so much charm is brought by the degraded VHS look and I can't imagine the film without it. 3/5  Mikadroid: Robokill Beneath Disco Club Layla (1991) dir. Satoo Haraguchi & Tomo'o Haraguchi While I do wish we got to see the Mikadroid loving poo poo up in the Disco Club (key word in the title is Beneath as most of the action takes place in a parking garage and the catacombs it was built upon) this was still a slick and sick killer robot slasher. Love some of the imagery in this, like the skateboarder riddled with bullets slowing rolling toward the camera. This one seems like a weird anomaly of a film, as from what I can see the directors haven't done too much since and this exists as something of an obscure early 90's gem. Highly recommended robo insanity. 4/5  The Nest of the Cuckoo Birds (1965) dir. Bert Williams The first time we see the masked woman, and the accompanying screams of sheer terror, it makes you question whether you've stumbled on to some cursed piece of media. It's a moment so terrifying and sudden it feels as if it came directly from Hell. While much of The Nest of the Cuckoo Birds is slow and talky, the horror imagery is truly otherworldly and Bert Williams' amateur skill set behind the camera lend an uncanniness to everything on screen. When he finds the room of corpses I wasn't sure if they were supposed to, in the context of the film, be real bodies or mannequins but it's equally as upsetting no matter which it was meant to be. 3.5/5 Watched: Let's Scare Jessica to Death; Tales from the Quadead Zone; Mikadroid: Robokill Beneath Disco Club Layla; The Nest of the Cuckoo Birds Total: 4 TrixRabbi fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Sep 30, 2019 |
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Sep 30, 2019 17:35
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5. The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971) It took me a while to get into the movie, the kills in the first 30-40 minutes are not super exciting and I couldn't really get into the humor but an amazing performance by Vincent Price and one of the most ridiculous evil lairs I have ever seen kept me engaged. The second half really turns up the insanity. The kills are a ton of fun, I finally warmed up to the humor (the rotating body when the cops unscrewed the unicorn had me in tears and the finale is nothing short of spectacular. 3.5/5
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Sep 30, 2019 17:53
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Popelmon posted:The kills are a ton of fun, I finally warmed up to the humor (the rotating body when the cops unscrewed the unicorn had me in tears and the finale is nothing short of spectacular. I've probably read a hundred reviews of Dr. Phibes here in various threads, and every single one makes special mention of that scene. It's an all-timer, if Dr. Phibes counts as a slasher then that's gotta be one of the greatest ever slasher kills.
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Sep 30, 2019 18:09
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Basebf555 posted:I've probably read a hundred reviews of Dr. Phibes here in various threads, and every single one makes special mention of that scene. It's an all-timer, if Dr. Phibes counts as a slasher then that's gotta be one of the greatest ever slasher kills. "I think it's a left hand thread" is what most people recall. That, and the feet.
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Sep 30, 2019 18:24
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1. Viy (1967) This is a very fun little folk tale out of Soviet era Russia about a bad seminary student performing burial rights for a witch. It has wonderful sets and old fashioned effects tied to a quickly paced and often comical story line. The last act reminds me a bit of Evil Dead 2 (tho not gory at all) with a bunch of creature designs and a manic energy. I also wrote the movie of the month thread over it!
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Sep 30, 2019 18:30
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In for 31 this year. 1. 36.15 code Père Noël (Dial Code Santa Claus / Deadly Games / Game Over) (1989, dir. René Manzor) blu-ray Killer Santa invades home of a rich kid. Booby traps, murder, loss of innocence, etc. It's basically Home Alone but a horror movie and one year earlier. It's a lot of fun and gets decently unhinged and intense at times. Probably not quite kid-friendly, but certainly closer than something like Christmas Evil, and it's a surprisingly well shot and visually interesting film. At one point the kid fashions a splint/crutch and dresses his wounds like he's Rambo it's great. It would probably be great for a group looking for some holiday themed horror that's fun and not too hosed up (though there is a dog death). Recommended for anyone who'd like another killer Santa movie. 4/5    2. Tetsuo II: Body Hammer (1992, dir. Shinya Tsukamoto) dvd It's less intense than the first, but still an all out homoerotic formal assault as a man is transformed into a gun. More of a re-imagining than a sequel, it's maybe slightly less good, but that feels like hardly a complaint. The dvd is pretty blurry, but the lo-fi presentation worked for me. Wish I had more to say than some vague comparisons to the original, but these two Tetsuo movies should be considered essential viewing and I think it's best to just dive straight in. Recommended for everyone, but especially anyone who enjoyed the first. 5/5  3. Devil Fetus (1983, dir. Lau Hung-Chuen) dvd Spoiler: there is no devil fetus. It's just a ghost/possession movie with some slimy demon sex and a few good gore moments. The middle section drags a lot, but then there's a great Taoist priest vs ghost fight and the nonsense ending you watch this sort of movie for. Nothing really special as far as Cat III horror goes, it was alright. 3/5  4. The Wolf Man (1941, dir. George Waggner) blu-ray This has got to be in the running for foggiest movie I've ever seen and that is great. Unfortunately that set design was by far the biggest positive for me. Larry is an amusing creep but none of the characterization is all that engaging. And it's hard not to cringe just a little bit every time someone says gypsy. It's not a bad time and I can't quite dislike it, but I was occasionally bored and it's a short movie. 3/5 Watched (4): 36.15 code Père Noël | Tetsuo II: Body Hammer | Devil Fetus | The Wolf Man
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Sep 30, 2019 18:42
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MacheteZombie posted:1. Viy (1967) I watched this last year. Normally I don't love older movies and a lot of old foreign movies I have a hard time connecting with, but VIY was really something interesting. I found it really effective and even unnerving. Obviously modern film lovers can see the seams as it were, but I thought this was absolutely worth my time. If you're on the fence because your tastes don't break that way usually, same here, but I say give it a shot.
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Sep 30, 2019 18:46
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Jedit posted:"I think it's a left hand thread" is what most people recall. That, and the feet. Yep, the kill itself was fine, the joke and the gag with the rotating feet really turned it into something special.
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Sep 30, 2019 19:03
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 Franchise: Critters The Critters franchise has been one of my longtime favorites. It's a classic b-movie monster set up. Memorable monsters designed by the Chiodo brothers wrecking havoc, younger set in the know but not believed by the adults and a big chaotic monsterfight near the end. What is there not to love about it?  20) Critters - 1986 - DVD This film is pretty much a 50s era monster film updated for the times. It has a good balance of scary and silly. The Crites escape during a prison transport and wind up on Earth with two shapechanging bounty hunters in pursuit. Plenty of havoc is caused at the small Kansas farm they've ended up in. Pretty much if you hate this film, you hate fun. And the cat lives.  21) Critters 2: The Main Course - 1988 - DVD This is a direct sequel to the first and it delivers everything that was good from the first. Taking place two years after the last film the bounty hunters return due to a Crite infestation detected on Earth. The humor level's ramped up a bit compared to the first one, but it still works.
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Sep 30, 2019 19:11
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 #18) Children of the Corn (1984), a.k.a., Horror Kid Unlike the wide majority of its sequels, I'd say this is (mostly) a good movie. It's paced out well enough for something adapted from a ~10-page story, The performances are well-suited to the tone (though Malachi's shows its roughness due to how much more screen time he gets than most), there are some very nice shots of the landscape, the rolling dirt presence is a decent effect (the glowy effect less so), and it was refreshing to see an adult just push over kids when they attacked him. I like that Burt and Vicky don't start out in bickering mode, unlike the original story, but some more tension between them would have been appreciated, made their end reunion feel stronger, and maybe kept me from thinking of Burt's actor as a bargain Ted Danson. Sad how little agency Linda Hamilton's character had, though. The old man at the gas station felt the truest to King's character idiosyncrasies, working on his tireless truck and cutting off questions with wrong answers, and some more textural acting like that would have helped keep things from feeling so rushed. I can't say enough good things about Jonathan Elias' score, which does so much to elevate the on-screen material. An excellent job of shifting from the open, airy vibes of the beginning into a more sinister tone, with the introduction of a children's choir once the movie hits its stride (if his score were to get a vinyl reissue, I'd have a hard time not buying a copy). With how open-ended the movie is, it's understandable that sequels emerged, but even with the relatively low bar set in this installment, they largely miss everything that works for this film. That indictment of organized religion speech, though.  rating: 7/10
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Sep 30, 2019 19:37
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1. Creepshow -File this one under movies I can’t believe I haven’t seen until now. I love horror anthologies and I wasn't exactly sure if I had seen it before, but it was all new to me. A great collection of zombies, body horror, animal attacks, and gross out. For what it's worth it even featured a torture porn story well before the introduction of Saw or Dee Snider’s Strangeland. This is exactly what I love about horror, unsettling stories and just the right mix of humor without being overbearing. Also, not too many horror movies can claim this, but it even made me close my eyes in disgust during the 4th story. (I hate creepy crawlies and it's why I will never be watching Slugs) Most Manly: The dad who slaps his kid, yells at his wife, and drinks a beer.  Favorite Fashion: Some 70s high-waisted, pleated, Mom khakis. 
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Sep 30, 2019 20:54
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 #19) Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1993), a.k.a., Children of the Corn II: Deadly Harvest The first time I saw this, I was pretty down on it. This time, I felt like its biggest problem was trying to juggle too many themes and flavors. You've got the straight-forward continuation of the first film's story, a boy's search for friends, ergot poisoning, 'you decide who you are,' occult horror, the children of the original mostly turning into mid-teenagers, a struggle to find journalistic integrity, teen romance, Native American mythology, and a few other wall-tosses. There's also the feel of someone who worked on the film fighting to make it a comedy, with a Wizard of Oz homage death, an old woman having her wheelchair taken over by remote control (followed by her getting launched through the window of a bingo parlor), and the dialogue of the romance scenes. Main antagonist looked like the long-lost son of Michael Ironside, which was amusing, as were the solarized(?) filters on the evil POV shots. The rationalization of how these kids were able to blatantly cause so much poo poo in their new town was held together with string, hardly any characters got more than a flat dimensionality (and those that did, just barely), and the jumbling together of so many directions for the script kept any of them from building into something genuinely interesting. Still, as later sequels showed, it could have been much worse, and the comedy pieces do a fair job of holding attention and making it easier to watch this without a sour face. Doesn't hold a candle to part three, though. rating: 6/10
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Sep 30, 2019 21:11
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feedmyleg posted:
Based on what you described you liked from The Fog and what you didn't like from Changeling, maybe try Prince of Darkness? I don't know, but its got some of the same "other worldly" Carpenter quality you seem to enjoy from The Fog. The Fog is, incidentally, my absolute favorite horror of all time. I always get excited when someone else loves it.
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Sep 30, 2019 21:19
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Hell House III - 1.5/5 - It had a few redeeming parts. I mean, it really did. Behind the Mask, Rise of Leslie Vernon - 3.5 / 5 - Fun, clever, nice twist. Creepshow - 4 / 5 - Just delightful, schlocky King. Creepshow 2 - 3 / 5 - Not as good as the first, but still the same feel. Very much enjoyed Holt McCallany's appearance. Henry, Portrait of a Killer (re-watch) - 5 / 5 - Just top notch. Bare bones budget, with real theater actors, results in something truly special. I'd show this to my non-horror friends.
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Sep 30, 2019 21:23
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#3: Apostle (2018) I liked this one quite a lot. A man travels to an isolated island where a cult has kidnapped his sister for ransom. Set in the early turn of the century, it was a great period piece full of some very good performances (Michael Sheen is awesome in everything he does, so no surprise there) and has some seriously gnarly gore. It's pretty long at 2 1/2 hours, and the first hour is kind of slow, but once it picks up and brings some of the more supernatural elements to the foreground, it doesn't let up. Once he swims through the sewer of gore and meets the witch (I think she's a witch?) face-to-face, all bets are off. I also liked how they turned the trope of "evil Prophet is evil" and gave Michael Sheen more depth. I mean sure, he's still a hosed up guy who worships witch magic, but he never crossed the line and actually killed anybody. The guy who tried to usurp his position as leader of the cult was a great villain, what a piece of poo poo. His death was extremely satisfying. This was also the only thing starring Dan Stevens I've seen outside of "Beauty and the Beast," and since he's 95% a CGI Disney character in that one, this was a refreshing re-introduction. He and Sheen carry this film, and I think it's another notch in Netflix's belt in terms of quality. My only real gripe is the runtime, which I think could be shaved down by at least a half hour. 3.5/5 Watched: Midsommar; One Cut of the Dead; Apostle Total: 3
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Sep 30, 2019 22:12
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Criterion Channel's October line-up.
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Sep 30, 2019 22:23
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 5. Don't Torture a Duckling (1987, dir. Lucio Fulci) shudder I usually have a lot of fun with Fulci and giallo but drat, this was bleak. Real good though, easily makes the top tier of Fulci I've seen so far. Great cinematography and that ending definitely earns its reputation. And the cemetery beating I expect to be one of his most memorable scenes. Good poo poo all around. 4/5 Watched (5): 36.15 code Père Noël | Tetsuo II: Body Hammer | Devil Fetus | The Wolf Man | Don't Torture a Duckling
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Sep 30, 2019 22:28
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T3hRen3gade posted:This was also the only thing starring Dan Stevens I've seen outside of "Beauty and the Beast," and since he's 95% a CGI Disney character in that one, this was a refreshing re-introduction. I highly recommend The Guest, he's great in that as well. It's not quite horror but in the OP Fran said it counts because part of it is set on Halloween.
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Sep 30, 2019 22:38
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The Guest totally counts. So does Upgrade, which is more of a sci-fi thriller with horror and body horror thrown in. If you go on Letterboxd and look at the Genres tab, if it says "Thriller", then it counts. edit: Well, within reason. I just checked and I'm not gonna call Die Hard or Blade Runner or ROOM qualifying thrillers. So I guess not every Thriller... Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 22:46 on Sep 30, 2019 |
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Sep 30, 2019 22:44
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6. Wishmaster (1997) (rewatch) Andrew Divoff goes HARD in this one and I love every second of it. Some of the CGI looks like poo poo now but the practical effects/kills are still a ton of fun. It even has a skeleton breaking free from its flesh prison! 3.5 / 5
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Sep 30, 2019 23:10
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#1 The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) [Netflix] A fun little ghost/demon story set in a morgue spent almost exclusively with three people: a father, son, and the dead woman whose body they are examining. The movie is slick and has fun with the nude body on display slowly gaining control of the situation without moving a muscle. Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch are both good and believably work as a father/son team. That said, when it descends into straight-up frights rather than just escalating tension it ended up feeling a little less original and the lead actors just running around in terror was, to me, less interesting than watching them grapple with a problem they don't understand. https://i.imgur.com/N8t17nu.mp4 #2 Brightburn (2019) I'm a fan of elseworlds Superman stories, but this one ends up unfortunately muddled. Starting out it could be Man of Steel but with parents that don't do as good a job adapting to their child's special needs. But partway through (and I won't spoiler-tag this, since it's blatant in the trailers), the kid ends up being basically demonically possessed by a telepathic message from his spaceship, which flips the kid's switch from disaffected to psychopathic. It gets entertainingly gory in places, but on the sci-fi side of things everytime they're not directly ripping off the movie they're referencing they end up making the less interesting choice. This was a rewatch to see if I'd like it any more than in the theater, but honestly the missed opportunities were just more apparent and I find myself noticing even more how much less good it looks than the movie it's referencing. https://i.imgur.com/9yBlC6v.mp4 #3 Escape Room (2019) PG-13 Saw, which means less gore, and seemed like it was supposed to mean more engaging puzzles, but that part didn't particularly deliver. It's the sort of movie that has a title card like below. https://i.imgur.com/N0BZDhv.mp4 #4 Aniara (2018) [Hulu] Really loved this one. Swedish sci-fi movie that I wasn't sure would qualify as horror, but I think is bleak enough to count. Highly original and constantly willing to upend the film's status quo, introducing and dismissing plot elements that other movies could over-invest and belabor the point on. The lead actress was really great too and goes through a really impressive transformation. Highly recommend. https://i.imgur.com/L9dgOd5.mp4 #5 Cloverfield (2008) [Netflix] Got it in mind to give this one a rewatch to see how it holds up. Now that we're largely past the found footage event horizon, I don't mind that gimmick so much, and I realized, as a sort of anti-nitpick, that some of the implausibility of how much the cameraman keeps shooting is helped by the fact that this tape was selected by the military from among presumably thousands as one with a lot of good footage. Generally, though, a decent little giant-monster movie that's still fun, shows you the creatures more than I remembered, and presages some of the work with communicating scale that Godzilla (2014) would do even better. Weird seeing T.J. Miller before he was famous enough to be disgraced, though. https://i.imgur.com/YDi0OY9.mp4 #6 Overlord (2018) Bumped this one up in the priority thanks to Franchescanado's strong recommendation, which served me well. Another fine entry into WW2-but-supernatural, this one focuses on speed and gore, moving from gruesome shootouts to freakish monsters at a strong clip. It never quite lives up to the conceptual promise of the thousand-year soldier or brushing against the eternal, but the thrill-ride is so strong I didn't really care. The cast is very good (though the Nazi doctor is under-written and never makes an impression), with Jovan Adepo in the lead a particular standout. https://i.imgur.com/n40Ztmd.mp4 New (4): #1 The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016), #3 Escape Room (2019), #4 Aniara (2018), #6 Overlord (2018) Rewatches (2): #2 Brightburn (2019), #5 Cloverfield (2008) Sir Kodiak fucked around with this message at 23:52 on Sep 30, 2019 |
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Sep 30, 2019 23:32
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SUPER SAMHAIN CHALLENGE #1: The Best Month Last year we did extra challenges called the Fran Challenge. Due to the popularity of the concept, they're back, in an all-new, less ego-driven title. HOW DOES IT WORK?  Each challenge will give you a prompt. Pick a movie that qualifies for the prompt. CHOOSE WISELY. A movie you may pick for this challenge may be a perfect fit for a different, more difficult challenge later on. You've been warned! Watch the movie and do your write up, just like you would with any other entry. YOU CAN ONLY USE A MOVIE FOR THE CHALLENGE ONCE. Make an EXPLICIT note that you're using it for that challenge. (Bold text, all capitals, sirens, etc.) Act like I am going to scroll through the entire thread in the last few days of the challenge looking for any indication that you completed all of the challenges. Die happy.The Super Samhain Challenges are not mandatory. They are extra work. They can be difficult. You might log a movie only for a Super Samhain Challenge to be posted immediately after, and not be able to use it. I'm sorry. I'm not mean, these are just meant to be extra difficult so you watch more movies outside of your comfort zone. All Super Samhain Challenges will be easily located in the 2nd OP on the first page of the thread, with links to their respective posts detailing them.  So, now onto Super Samhain Challenge #1: The Best Month October is the best month of the year. But what's a fun way of celebrating movies during the best month? With a CineD Movie of the Month (now back from the dead)! For the first challenge, you must watch a qualifying film that's been a CineD Movie of the Month that is new to you! This includes this month's movie, Viy, picked by horror goon MacheteZombie! It is currently available on Shudder.  : But Fran...I already watched Viy this week before it was announced. : TOO BAD! : Wow that's really mean. : Okay, you're right. For THIS CHALLENGE ONLY, because it's the first week and October hasn't even begun, I will allow those who have already watched Viy to edit their entry and say you used it for the first Super Samhain Challenge. : Aw, thank you Fran. I love you. : I...I don't know what love is anymore... : Fran, I already watched Viy, but you know what? I'm gonna watch a DIFFERENT Movie of the Month for the first Super Samhain Challenge. : That's really awesome. Good work my dude. : Fran, I feel like the Smug emoji guy above me is being an over-achiever. They're making me look bad! : Look, what do you want from me? I'm so very tired.FAQ "Does Forbidden Zone count for this challenge?" Yes. While it's not explicitly horror or Halloweeny, I feel it is appropriate for the holiday. "Does Perfect Blue count?" Yes. It is a thriller. Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Oct 1, 2019 |
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Sep 30, 2019 23:57
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Since Fran has committed the atrocities of banning tv mini-series my plan to pad out my days with Stephen King rewatches in the background have been dashed. The travesty and injustice. But I’m itching to get started so I figured I’d keep my pregame going with some of those salaciously banned King minis I grew up watching. 6 (10). Rose Red (2002) Watched on DVD. Looks like its up on Youtube and DailyMotion. Stephen King’s take on The Haunting of Hill House sees an college psychology professor obsessed with finding proof of the paranormal bringing a team of psychics, including an autistic child with dangerous power, into Rose Red, a gothic home with a reputation for ever changing dimensions and a considerable body count. Rare to a King movie this isn’t actually an adaption of a novel or short story, but rather King’s own idea to give his spin as a “loose remake” of Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting as far back as 1996 and was in talks with Steven Spielberg and Mick Garris at different times to make it happen. The project seems to have gotten stuck in production hell, King’s ’99 accident, and the ’99 Liam Neeson remake. While recovering from his accident King converted his feature film idea into the trade and true tv miniseries and it kind of sounds like his dreams of making a great haunted house movie just kind of became his own personal rehab exercise and just another King miniseries. Stephen King posted:I was using the work as dope, basically, because it worked better than anything they were giving me to kill the pain. I was using the work as dope, basically, because it worked better than anything they were giving me to kill the pain. It’s not very good at all. Its very derivative and takes most of what does well from Jackson’s original story. “Women in Rose Red had a tendency to turn up missing and men had a tendency to turn up dead” is an interesting hook and play on the worn tread territory but nothing’s really done with it. In a haunted house the house itself is a main character and King certain tries to make Rose Red an equal to Hill House but it doesn’t work. We spend the first third of the film not even entering the house but just hearing backstory in exposition dumps. Once they get into the house its another 3rd of the film spent on more exposition dumps and a few perfectly adequate but not spooky CGI splashes. Once everything picks up in the 3rd act all the energy is spent on CGI ghosts and the house becomes a setting, which is a real mistake. And that whole women/men thing just kind of gets abandoned entirely. Nancy Travis does a solid job as the obsessed leader being driven insane by the house, but the script doesn’t really give her enough to do with it. That’s a sad constant of the piece as there’s a great cast of character actors in Julian Sands and Kevin Tighe and young surprises in Melanie Lynskey, Jimmi Simpson, and Emily Deschanel. But none of them are given anything to do except Matt Ross who plays one of King’s favorite villains in the cruel and contemptuous “incel” loser. Its a very un-King like element since he usually has such strength in fleshing out characters but I guess writing them for movie/TV is different than writing for a novel/short story. Every character here is pretty one dimensional, and some of them are lucky to have that much. They probably could have cut the cast in half and improved the piece. The film is LONG. Even for a King miniseries this clocks in at over 4 hours. And that’s not really that rare for series’ these days but it basically takes 2 hours of that to even get into the house and get things rolling. King obviously knew the house should be the star but he didn’t do a good job writing and introducing that character, or it didn’t get adapted well at all from script. Probably both. And an over reliance on very bad CGI ghosts really ends up making the final act feel very non threatening and silly. On the bright side I did spot my first cell phone model as a feature prop in the series. That was fun. Its not the worst King work, haunted house piece, or even Hill House version I’ve seen. But its not good and I probably would have been better served spending the time rewatching Netflix’s/Flanagan’s The Haunting of Hill House. It obviously did a lot of what King was trying to do and the side by side comparisons really convince me more that Flanagan and King should be a good mix. Of trivia note King was clearly inspired by the recent Blair Witch Project success because he attempted the same kind of viral campaign trying to see Rose Red as a real thing with a fake diary from the house’s owner being sold and a fake documentary selling King as bringing the “real” story to film. This apparently worked and a lot of people bought in. It was a strange time for internet fact checking. There’s even a prequel tv movie about the house being built but its not included on my DVD so I won’t just impulsively watch it next. It is however on Hoopla…  - (11). Salem’s Lot (1979) Watching on DVD, looks like its up on the Internet Archive. A writer returns to his hometown at the same time a mysterious stranger comes to town and finds himself as the only one who can seem to do something as the town’s citizens are being systematically murdered and turned into vampires. Oh, and its directed by Tobe Hooper. This has always been one of my favorite King adaptions and one of my favorite vampire tales. Well before I ever saw Nosferatu I saw Barlow and said “now this is a monster worth being terrified of” and I love that King takes the dreaded vampire out of the castles and into a classic creepy “haunted” house. I feel like I can see influences on Fright Night, The Strain, Lost Boys, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and probably a ton more vampire features that followed. The scene with the boy floating to a window was one of my first big nightmare inducing scares when I was a kid. Given all this and Hooper’s involvement I’m honestly surprised this doesn’t generally get more love and standing. It might well by a Top 5 vampire movie for me. Is it just that King mini series stigma? And I really didn’t know this was a Hooper film. I never would have expected him from it with its spooky elements. That’s not to knock him in any way. Poltergeist is a classic, Texas Chainsaw Massacre lived up to the hype for me, and Lifeforce was a trip. But looking at all those films together shows how versatile and talented Hooper is. He didn’t just tell one kind of story he seemed capable of telling any kind of horror. Makes me want to check out more of his work. I’m sure it won’t be as good as the previously mentioned films but a year ago I hadn’t seen Lifeforce or TCM so who knows what’s out there in his catalogue I haven’t seen? Hello, young dreamy Fred Willard! Well younger. Man, he was 40 in ’79. Now I want to go find a movie with a 20 something Willard. Also hello Bonnie Bedello. This being before my time its weird to think that a lot of these folks were stars of the 70s that were just kind of faded by the time my awareness kicked in. I had no idea this starred Hutch of Starsky and Hutch. I also kind of love the seeming mindless parasitic nature of Barlow. They move to town, buy a house, set up a business, make all this effort to establish a front and you assume that means there’s going to be some kind of slow play here or plan. Why go through all that effort to just eat and turn everyone right away and cause a stir? For a moment I questioned that and wondered if there was some plan from the novel that didn’t make the cut. But Barlow just seems like an animal out of control. His nature is just to feed and spread his evil and whatever Straker is he has no control. He seems genuinely scared when he sees Barlow’s chains in the dirt. The monster is loose and it has no concern about pacing itself, hiding itself, or playing games. And Straker can do nothing but serve his master. The only real knock is that the effects don’t hold up at all. But its 40 years old so that’s to be expected. The vampire makeup largely holds up its just some of the magical flying and dying stuff that looks bad. But it’s a small thing. The movie more than carries itself on atmosphere and tone. And grown as I am and knowing what he looks like, I still jumped outta my skin when Barlow jump scares in for the first time 2 hours in. Was gonna watch more King today but got real busy and lots of hassles. So I think I'm just gonna hold out for midnight and October, so that's probably the end of pregaming. September Pre-Game Tally - New (Total) 1. NOS4A2 (2019); - (2). Splice (2009); - (3). Drive Angry (2011); 2 (4). The Twilight Zone (2019); - (5). Event Horizon (1997); - (6). BrainDead (2016); 3 (7). The Dark Tower (2017); 4 (8). The Collector (2009); 5 (9). The Bad Batch (2016); - (10). Rose Red (2002); - (11). Salem’s Lot (1979) October Tally - New (Total)
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Sep 30, 2019 23:58
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13. Clowns of Halloween (2019) Watched On: Amazon Prime I uh, couldn't actually find a poster for this one. From the depths of Amazon comes an anthology movie all about spooky clowns. I had an hour to kill before the gym and that's the run time, so why not? There is like a five minute montage at the very beginning of two characters walking through a Spirit Halloween that I'm sure was filmed without permission. This looks like every horror movie my friends and I tried to shoot in the past, not enough extras for scenes, the director's friends trying their best at acting, but obviously they love horror movies and so it's at least a little charming. Even though it's just an hour, don't waste your time, it probably could have been thirty minutes.
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Oct 1, 2019 00:00
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2. Metamorphosis dir. George Eastman, 1990  Written AND directed by the monster cannibal from Anthropophagus, it proves the maxim that you can rely on the Italians to underdeliver on their "homages." Aping Cronenberg's The Fly, Metamorphosis has a semi-hunky scientist, Dr Houseman, trying to find the secret to anti-aging. Frustrated with both his impending funding cut and potential unemployment, Houseman experiments with his serum on himself, leading to predictable results. Unlike most Italian schlock, however, there's very little charm to be found here. Eastman has very little visual flair, and the shadowy sets and labs are eternally indistinct from one another. The acting is also well below standard from the already incredibly low expectations deriving from the pedigree, and again, unlike other films in its wheelhouse, not even the makeup and effects work can save it. The prosthetics of Houseman's decline are plastic-y skin tags that look like peeling, dried glue, and the ultimate transformation of Houseman into a dinosaur that looks like a hybrid of the Carnosaur poster and the goomba from Super Mario Brothers lasts for all of twenty seconds, impotently waving stubby arms about with less articulation than a modern-day inflatable tyrannosaurus suit, before sliding backwards on a dolly. It could almost be comical, if it weren't so brief and obviously cheap. This is the price of going in blind to low-budget cinema, though; for every diamond in the rough, there's at least ten interminably boring wastes of time. Metamorphosis has nothing interesting to offer at all. 1/5 Sept 2019: 1. House of 1000 Corpses (2003) 2. Metamorphosis (1990) The watchlist: Salo (rewatch), A Serbian Film (rewatch), One Cut of the Dead, Crawl I, Butthole fucked around with this message at 11:37 on Oct 1, 2019 |
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Oct 1, 2019 00:05
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