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JAMOOOL
Oct 18, 2004

:qq: I LOVE TWO AND HALF MEN!! YOU 20 SOMETHINGS ARE JUST TOO CYNICAL TO UNDERSTAND IT!!:qq:
any excuse to post this video, which I still crack up thinking about

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMaAT_KPSs4

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jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."
I forgot about Poolhall junkies with the greatest Christopher Walken speech ever.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KB2xignE6c

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Do you care to watch a man lose $2100 USD on spaceship jpgs in real time?


this takes some explaining, the hypernet is a new raffle system in eve online:
https://support.eveonline.com/hc/en-us/articles/360010743940-HyperNet-Relay

quote:

The HyperNet Relay is an enjoyable new method of selling items where almost anything can be traded at any time, from anywhere, and by anyone.

Availability

The HyperNet Relay may not be available to players in certain territories. It can also be disabled by player request through a support ticket. If available, the HyperNet Relay can be opened from the Neocom menu, within the "Finance" folder.

Creating an offer

HyperNet offers can only be created in NPC stations. Public HyperNet Offers can be reviewed withing the browse tab. A search function is available to look for a specific item. Each offer consists of a set of purchasable HyperNodes, each representing an opportunity to receive the offered item.

Repackaged items, Blueprint Copies, Ancient Relics and Abyssal Modules can be offered on the HyperNet Relay. Containers or any items containing other items of any kind (i.e. fitted ships) are not permitted. To create an offer, a number of Hyper Cores is required which act as a broker fee, and a sales tax is paid on completion of an offer. Both amounts depend on the total value of the offer itself:

HyperCores: The total amount of HyperCores required is determined by the offer value as well as the current estimated market value of PLEX. These have to be paid with the creation of the offer and are not refundable.

HyperNet Relay Fee: 5% of offer value. This fee is only due once the offer successfully completed by selling all HyperNodes and will be deducted automatically from the offer payout.

Once a HyperNet offer has been finalized, it cannot be canceled or removed and will remain open until all nodes of the offer have been purchased, or the offer duration expires. If an offer expires before all HyperNodes were purchased, the buyers of any purchased HyperNodes will receive a refund of their ISK and the offered item will be returned to the creator of the offer. HyperCores spent on creating the offer will not be refunded.

HyperNet offers can be set up as private offers. This means that only players with a direct link to the offer will be able to participate in the HyperNet offer. Someone with access to an offer can simply drag and drop an offer into the chat to share the link to the offer.

Buying HyperNodes

HyperNodes of an offer can be purchased by simply clicking on one, and then clicking once again to confirm the purchase. HyperNode purchases are updated in real time and are assigned to whichever character confirms the purchase first. Any purchased node will show the name of the character owning the node, an ownership transfer of a node to another character is not possible.

Using the "Buy multiple" option, players can purchase multiple nodes at once. This will purchase the first available nodes of the offer until the requested amount has been reached, or no further nodes are available. Once a HyperNode purchase is confirmed, it is final and can not be refunded unless the offer expires without all nodes having been bought.


Claiming

As soon as all HyperNodes are purchased, the HyperNet Relay will select one node at random and the owner if that node will then be able to claim the offered item at their leisure. The claimed item will be located at the station the offer was made. Other participants in the HyperNet offer can review the offer in their history tab to see the name of the character that owned the node which was picked as the receiver of the item.

Reviewing past offers

The History tab of the HyperNet Relay will show all offers past and present that the user has created, or participated in. Unclaimed offers can be viewed in the History tab, clicking on the HyperNet offer will give the option to claim the item.

i have bolded the important part. in order to make one of these spaceship raffles you must buy "hypercores" from the CCP cash shop. the number of cores you need to buy is based on the value of the item you are raffling. this particular raffle is for a super rare ship that was a one-of-a-kind tournament prize. he set the price for an outrageous 4 Trillion isk with 512 tickets, meaning each ticket alone costs over 7 billion isk (one billion isk will buy you a capital ship or a small space station). even at this price the 1% of EVE managed to buy a couple hundred tickets.

unfortunately for Cjah Dorin here if a raffle does not sell every ticket within 3 days of being posted it expires. everyone gets their money back, and you lose all of the hyper cores you used to post it. in order to post a raffle for 4 trillion isk you need to spend approximately $2100 USD in the EVE Online cash shop for hyper cores. that money is going to vanish in about 3 hours if he doesn't sell 318 more tickets :v:

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Earth Table posted:

Also I would appreciate any gambling movies yall would recommend.

The Hustler
Poolhall Junkies
Maverick (fun, not accurate)

I Brake For MILFs
Jan 9, 2007

:syoon:


jase1 posted:


One thing I saw happen at a casino and I wondered if any casino industry people have tales the same. A dealer at a roulette table paid a guy 200 extra by mistake. The dealer and the player did not know the mistake was made. The player continued to gamble all of his money until it was gone, security shows up and says a mistake was made and the player owes them 200 because of the mistake. The player says I’m broke and gave it all back and they arrested him. Now I’m not sure what happened after that because the back roomed him but it was legit Cleveland cops who cuffed him.

Is that legal? I figured if the casino made the mistake too bad so sad.

I don't know about Cleveland, but in Connecticut if an employee overpays and someone catches it they can't exactly force the player to give back the money.

They can give you a permanent ejection and trespass you from the property until you pay it back though, so maybe they cuffed the guy to escort him off premises.

This all hinges on the fact that they know your name and what you look like and employees being vigilant.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

jase1 posted:

Owning Mahowny is a great film about gambling addiction and it's based on a true story.
The sting is my favorite of all time but that's probably because it was my first gambling film shown to me by my uncles.
Cincinnati kid
Color of money
The Hustler
The cooler
two for the money isn't the greatest film but it has some interesting sports booking moments
Lucky you is pretty good because it's backdrop is the WSOP
The Grand is a lot of fun.
Diggstown is great because it's a bunch of con men hustling each other
Molly's game is great if you want to see how Toby Maguire acted in real life. (hint hint he was a piece of poo poo)
Runner Runner is a terrible online poker movie but it has some interesting takes on online poker and the shady poo poo that went down.

I am sure I will think of more but that's all I have for now.

The Gambler, with Kenny Rogers!
Maverick, kind of.
Rounders

Shumagorath
Jun 6, 2001

Shumagorath posted:

I can't remember which goon this was and he's probably grateful for it, but he posted about being 4/5 on an MMA parlay only to have his ticket wiped out by Tito Ortiz winning a fight in 2009. Tito had already been considered shot for years prior and was fighting a much younger Ryan Bader.
It turns out I got the year wrong and it was 2011 making this even worse / funnier. What I did remember right is that Tito won quickly and emphatically as if to personally tear up the poor goon's ticket during his stupid gravedigger routine.

Pekinduck
May 10, 2008

Earth Table posted:

Also I would appreciate any gambling movies yall would recommend.

It's a book but Fyodor Dostoevsky's The Gambler is the timeless degen saga.

Beefed Owl
Sep 13, 2007

Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!

I Brake For MILFs posted:

I don't know about Cleveland, but in Connecticut if an employee overpays and someone catches it they can't exactly force the player to give back the money.

They can give you a permanent ejection and trespass you from the property until you pay it back though, so maybe they cuffed the guy to escort him off premises.

This all hinges on the fact that they know your name and what you look like and employees being vigilant.

If it was a mistake by the house (at least where i worked) and the player owed but didn't have money, or even if they did, we would just take the hit on it because really it's not the player's job to do proper payouts its ours, because those fuckers are usually drunk as hell. In fact in most screw ups we just gave the player the benefit of the doubt because we figure we will get the money back anyway and it isn't worth the trouble, and if a dealer sucks at a game we don't let them deal it when it's busy.

Toxic Mental posted:

I love Craps - doesn't it basically boil down to "only ever play dark side/don't pass and always take max odds on your don't pass bet after the comeout roll"?

Also, please confirm my suspicions that dice control is basically just a way to annoy other people at the table by taking a really long time to set up a roll, or is it one of those things where people will get pissed at you for stupid reasons if you don't do it, sort of like "yOu ToOk mY cArD@@@!!" in blackjack?

If you play don't pass technically you have a very slight edge over pass, but I don't play it for two main reasons: You win when everyone loses, so you should keep your wins to yourself, and you have to bet more to win less since the odds are reversed, and two, I love playing with everyone else, it feels more fun to win when everyone else does. That being said, I know several dealers who swear by don't pass because we work a lot of cold tables.

I will go over dice control soon, but in general I find it to be a waste of time; I have even seen the videos people use thinking dice control will net them bigger wins, and they are ridiculous.


JAMOOOL posted:

my uh 'strategy' is pass line, back 5x, then bet some or all of the numbers up top. you can get your rear end handed to you very quickly but it's super fun when you get those rolls where they hit 2+ points and a bunch of stuff in between. idk if this is smart or not though.

It's a pretty smart way to play, though I wouldn't bet all numbers up top right away. Pass line with odds and two place bets is a very sound strategy, especially if you start smaller and press them as you win.

Beefed Owl
Sep 13, 2007

Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!
Dice Players

Dice players are the most diverse and interesting people I have ever encountered in the casino. I remember a guy who wore no less than 40 gold chains and looked like Lil Jon whom I could barely understand except when he placed bets, a WW2 veteran who lost his arm in the war and was a real sweet guy with awesome war stories, a big black retired drug dealer who worked in porn in the 70’s, a small Chinese girl who was an heiress to a cologne company, and a 22 year old pool hustler kid who dressed like Woody Harrelson in “White Men Can’t Jump” are among the people I remember most. Some of them, though, are some real characters, three come to mind.

One was a guy in his mid-40s who would come to the table and record dice rolls for hours. That’s all he would do. For hours and hours and hours every day he came and recorded live dice rolls into a notebook. He would bet $5 on the pass line maybe once or twice an hour so we wouldn’t tell him to leave (he also came when it’s slower so he wouldn’t be asked to leave). I always wanted to ask him what the hell he hoped to achieve but in my mind the dude was just nuts.

We had another older guy, who was loving loaded, come and play all the time and NEVER loving TIP. It didn’t matter how much he won he would never loving tip us. He was a big roller there so we all had to be nice to him, “Hey John, how’s it going? Great to see you.” But I loving loathed the guy. If you tip me regularly I make sure that all your bets are down before the dice rolls and I pay special attention to you because I want you to be happy since you are tipping. With this fucker I could give a poo poo, he did not like having me as a dealer because I would just ignore him, and would intentionally give special attention to tipping players while on the table in the hopes he would notice that maybe that’s what he should be doing. Anyways gently caress that guy, tip your god drat dealers.

Lastly there was this Puerto Rican guy who was so god drat over the top flamboyant like Liberace on steroids. He was at the casino all the loving time, I didn’t mind dealing to him because he was quite the character, jumping around like crazy when he won and becoming so, “Woe is me” if he lost I absolutely adored it. Plus he is the only player I know whom when he lost he tipped us more. He would get angry and would toss a bunch of greens ($25) towards the dealers and be like, “I’m loving out, this table sucks, maybe this will help you deal better” and walk away. We watched his chips for him because not 10 minutes later he would be back in a completely different, joyful mood. Honestly he made most of my shifts bearable because he was unpredictable and would gently caress with the other players, criticizing their play even though he played absolutely wild bets.

The craziest thing about this, and it’s something that just blows my mind: I haven’t worked in the industry in almost 10 years, but maybe twice a year I go back up to the casinos because friends ask me to go to help them with craps or I go just to catch up with the dealers at the casino I work at, many of whom still work there. It’s a pretty steady $80+K a year with benefits that doesn’t have a lot of educational requirements so it fits for many people, so I’m not surprised so many are there, plus they have seniority so they get good shifts and paid time off. But I went up there 2 months ago and, I poo poo you not, I saw all three guys I just mentioned: The Note-taker, the Non-Tipper, and the Puerto Rican (just realized that makes them sound like a mob crew). These guys are still loving playing craps there after 10 loving years it blows my mind. I go up there twice a year and still run into them. Craps is a strange loving game in some ways. Anyways next I’ll go over stories about the actual dice and why I think Dice Control is some dumb loving poo poo.

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."

TurboFlamingChicken posted:

Dice Players

22 year old pool hustler kid who dressed like Woody Harrelson in “White Men Can’t Jump”

Please don't doxx me.

Inject more of your stories into my veins, please. You are spot on about the types of players and it's amazing that it's basically like that at every casino I have ever been too.

I Brake For MILFs
Jan 9, 2007

:syoon:


TurboFlamingChicken posted:


Anyways gently caress that guy, tip your god drat dealers.


If any of you wanted to become a casino dealer, this will be your mantra from the first table till your last. Especially in Keep Your Own places.

Depending on where you work dealers pool their tokes and split them up by the week/shift/day or you carry a toke box with you and you keep what you make.

It's amazing money if you want to have a job that only requires basic math and common sense.

The tip lifestyle is hard though and the first thing that comes out of any dealer's mouth when they're talking about players is ALWAYS "they're a good or poo poo tipper."

You will reduce anyone that walks through the door into your potential for making $$$.

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe

Toxic Mental posted:

The Gambler with Mark Wahlberg is actually pretty decent, John Goodman’s “gently caress you” monologue is extremely good and true

This was an interesting movie. Usually in gambling movies you want the protagonist to win, however in this movie Mark Wahlberg's character is so unlikable that I was rooting for him to get beaten to death by loan sharks.

nrook
Jun 25, 2009

Just let yourself become a worthless person!
Isn't it common to pool tips, though? I mean, obviously you're still thinking "that guy is an rear end in a top hat" if somebody walks in and refuses to tip, but I thought that because tips in a game like blackjack can change so much from day to day, it was common to pool tips. That's all secondhand though.

As far as I know this is basically never done in poker rooms. Poker dealers, in my experience, also tend to be noticeably older and more "regular joe" looking than the people who deal table games. I could try to theorize why but I really have no idea. Maybe it's harder to be a poker dealer than it is to run most casino games? I dunno though, dealing craps sounds like it would be incredibly hard.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

What's the one where the guy has a crazy string of luck at blackjack then him and a friend (s?) start their own sportbook?

I started watching it on cable once but had to leave before it finished but it was pretty good.

A Pack of Kobolds
Mar 23, 2007



I Brake For MILFs posted:

You will reduce anyone that walks through the door into your potential for making $$$.

This is true of anybody who works for tips, I think. It was certainly true for waitstaff in every restaurant I've ever worked at.

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

I tip at blackjack and craps (like $1 chips) but fuuuuuck tipping at Holdem tables. Literally the only thing that the dealer really could assist you with that could even be considered tipable service at a regular game, which is to say calling you out on making a mistake or their own mistake, is removed completely. It also eats into your EV and it’s better to let suckers and fish tip the dealers, as they make a shitload on those tables anyways. Excuse me for not weeping at you making $2.63 an hour in wages when you’re pulling $50+ per hour in tips at a Holdem table. There’s literally no incentive for me at a Holdem table to tip a dealer.

Toxic Mental fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Dec 13, 2019

immortal wa
Jul 24, 2007
vs. the killer meteors
For gambling movies Mississippi Grind is great. Not completely accurate, but it stars Ryan Reynolds and Ben Mendelsohn hitting rustbelt casinos and backrooms. Mendelsohn is a complete degenerate and pulls it off really well.

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."

Toxic Mental posted:

I tip at blackjack and craps (like $1 chips) but fuuuuuck tipping at Holdem tables. Literally the only thing that the dealer really could assist you with that could even be considered tipable service at a regular game, which is to say calling you out on making a mistake or their own mistake, is removed completely. It also eats into your EV and it’s better to let suckers and fish tip the dealers, as they make a shitload on those tables anyways. Excuse me for not weeping at you making $2.63 an hour in wages when you’re pulling $50+ per hour in tips at a Holdem table. There’s literally no incentive for me at a Holdem table to tip a dealer.

Yikes.

I Brake For MILFs
Jan 9, 2007

:syoon:


Toxic Mental posted:

I tip at blackjack and craps (like $1 chips) but fuuuuuck tipping at Holdem tables. Literally the only thing that the dealer really could assist you with that could even be considered tipable service at a regular game, which is to say calling you out on making a mistake or their own mistake, is removed completely. It also eats into your EV and it’s better to let suckers and fish tip the dealers, as they make a shitload on those tables anyways. Excuse me for not weeping at you making $2.63 an hour in wages when you’re pulling $50+ per hour in tips at a Holdem table. There’s literally no incentive for me at a Holdem table to tip a dealer.

Also, yikes.

If you have that kind of attitude at the table and you made a mistake of course they're going to enforce the rules with vigor. Why wouldn't they?

Dealers could also just not deal you in, premature a turn/river, put out a 4 card flop, and skip your turn and enforce significant action has already incurred all under the guise of mistakes.

I would never do that, because honestly I don't care enough, my push is coming eventually. I can definitely see a vindictive person doing these things.

Also, please tell me where they're dropping 50 an hour that isn't a home game or Florida in 2005. Thank you!

Bubble Bobby
Jan 28, 2005

Toxic Mental posted:

I tip at blackjack and craps (like $1 chips) but fuuuuuck tipping at Holdem tables. Literally the only thing that the dealer really could assist you with that could even be considered tipable service at a regular game, which is to say calling you out on making a mistake or their own mistake, is removed completely. It also eats into your EV and it’s better to let suckers and fish tip the dealers, as they make a shitload on those tables anyways. Excuse me for not weeping at you making $2.63 an hour in wages when you’re pulling $50+ per hour in tips at a Holdem table. There’s literally no incentive for me at a Holdem table to tip a dealer.

Tip your goddamn dealers

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



Toxic Mental posted:

I tip at blackjack and craps (like $1 chips) but fuuuuuck tipping at Holdem tables. Literally the only thing that the dealer really could assist you with that could even be considered tipable service at a regular game, which is to say calling you out on making a mistake or their own mistake, is removed completely. It also eats into your EV and it’s better to let suckers and fish tip the dealers, as they make a shitload on those tables anyways. Excuse me for not weeping at you making $2.63 an hour in wages when you’re pulling $50+ per hour in tips at a Holdem table. There’s literally no incentive for me at a Holdem table to tip a dealer.

lmao

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

Yeah, no. I’m still not tipping Holdem dealers and I’ve never been to a casino or poker room where anything like that ever remotely happened as not on my would I call them out, so would the rest of the table and managers who saw it.

I Brake For MILFs posted:

Also, please tell me where they're dropping 50 an hour that isn't a home game or Florida in 2005. Thank you!

Poker room downtown in my city last Friday, probably about 12 hands per hour the dealers were averaging and I never saw a winner give them less than a red $5 chip, and I was there for about 6 hours at 4 tables

Toxic Mental fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Dec 14, 2019

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



Toxic Mental posted:

Yeah, no. I’m still not tipping Holdem dealers and I’ve never been to a casino or poker room where anything like that ever remotely happened as not on my would I call them out, so would the rest of the table and managers who saw it.

lmao

chibi luda
Apr 17, 2013

:whitewater:

Tetramin
Apr 1, 2006

I'ma buck you up.

Earth Table posted:

Also I would appreciate any gambling movies yall would recommend.

Rounders is a really silly film but its a lot of fun.

Hold em really lends itself well to the screen because of all of the tense moments and dramatic reveals that ensue. Makes Casino Royale a solid movie as well.

This is a weird post to me because I just watched Rounders last night. Nice to see Edward norton(has he been in any recent movies?) but yeah, silly movie.

kazr
Jan 28, 2005

Another goon tipping debate getting ready to destroy a good thread.

Jase, can you elaborate on your relationship with gambling? How did you get started? Is it common for there to be people real into it to not be degenerates and constantly blowing all their money?

Tetramin
Apr 1, 2006

I'ma buck you up.
E: yeah above poster is correct. Not gonna contribute to a derail.

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.
I am married to a Chinese woman. My racist father jokingly warned me when we were moving to Las Vegas to keep an eye on her, since Asian women are attracted to slot machines like moths to a flame. While this may not be entirely false, this was not a concern with my wife. Gambling has no appeal to her whatsoever, due to some family history.

My wife's grandfather (with whom she lived much of her childhood) had a gambling problem. Any time he had both any money at all, and an opportunity to gamble, he would gamble until he lost all of it. This was generally in dice, cards, and mahjong with other people in his village. They just kept loving fleecing him for decades. This was in rural China, he had no real danger of losing his home or going too hungry (though he was the sole survivor in his family of the Great Leap Forward...this all happened after that), but as a consequence he (and therefore my wife's grandmother and my wife) was much poorer than he had to be.

We'd often give money to my wife's grandmother. When doing so we had to make sure to do so in such a way that her grandfather both didn't know we'd done it, and wouldn't be likely to find it, because he absolutely would lose all of it.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Slot machines are straight trash for garbage people, but if you know it's lost money, can afford it and don't completely lose your drat mind it can be crazy exciting when you win. A couple months back I got 10x-10x-double bar for a cool 2 grand.

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.
I needed change at the base bowling alley. I was told the (cash) slot machines would also function as change machines. I never figured out how to do that. I put in a buck, then accidentally played the slot. I won 15 bucks. I took my coins and went to play video games.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

TurboFlamingChicken posted:

Anyways gently caress that guy, tip your god drat dealers.


In Australia we were forbidden by law to accept tips. People would try occasionally, and I, and the other dealers, would just tell them to buy themselves something nice with that cash. (Which of course they wouldn't, they would give it straight back to the Casino.)

Beefed Owl
Sep 13, 2007

Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!
I think it's worth mentioning that I worked in a casino where you kept your own unless you were a craps dealer in which case you got 25% of whatever tips the Blackjack dealers made and that can usually fluctuate some houses it's as low as 15 some its as high as twenty-five when I worked there, but those tips the Blackjack dealers made really added a lot to are pool because as craps dealers though we could keep our own we had to split it four ways for the whole crew my paycheck when it came to tips was half stuff that we made on the table and 1/2 with a blackjack dealer supplied us they didn't like it but honestly they have an easy rear end game to deal that is mindless and ours is complex and tiring and is frustrating at times so I used to just tell them if they wanted to make more money they should learn to deal craps and none of them would of course.

When I got fired I got hired on to another casino that did full pooled tips and it's the worst goddamn thing because nobody decides to put any effort into their work since they have to split everything and I can honestly tell you I made about a third of what I used to make working in the other Casino although it was a slower Casino it's still genuinely sucked.

I know in a lot of European and other casinos that aren't American they don't need to do tipping because they actually pay a sensible wage but I actually like the concept because I've gotten massive tips before and it helps encourage you to give players a better experience

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

TurboFlamingChicken posted:


I know in a lot of European and other casinos that aren't American they don't need to do tipping because they actually pay a sensible wage but I actually like the concept because I've gotten massive tips before and it helps encourage you to give players a better experience

Yeah, we got paid a good sensible amount. With time and a half for any overtime, or work on a public holiday. Yay for living in a place with barely adequate labour laws.

Also, I don't like the implication that, as a dealer, I can help or hinder the players in any way if I like them more or less, or if they pay me. I have no influence over the cards, or the ball, so even if I did care I can't help you. So stop trying to bribe me, or pretend that you care about my day.

As for giving the punters a better experience: sorry if this makes me look like an arsehole, or cynical or whatever. But gently caress that poo poo. I wasn't an entertainer, I was but a cog in the machine that they chose to throw their money into, counting the hours until I could get the gently caress out of there and go home.

Have I mentioned how glad I am that I don't work there anymore, and how much that job sucks all the joy and goodwill from you?

I Brake For MILFs
Jan 9, 2007

:syoon:


BrigadierSensible posted:

Have I mentioned how glad I am that I don't work there anymore, and how much that job sucks all the joy and goodwill from you?

I am very lucky where I work. Our regulars are generally awesome, but they all skew to the 50+ and a lot of them are pushing 70+. So, they're slowly dying off.

Beefed Owl
Sep 13, 2007

Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!

BrigadierSensible posted:

Yeah, we got paid a good sensible amount. With time and a half for any overtime, or work on a public holiday. Yay for living in a place with barely adequate labour laws.

Also, I don't like the implication that, as a dealer, I can help or hinder the players in any way if I like them more or less, or if they pay me. I have no influence over the cards, or the ball, so even if I did care I can't help you. So stop trying to bribe me, or pretend that you care about my day.

As for giving the punters a better experience: sorry if this makes me look like an arsehole, or cynical or whatever. But gently caress that poo poo. I wasn't an entertainer, I was but a cog in the machine that they chose to throw their money into, counting the hours until I could get the gently caress out of there and go home.

Have I mentioned how glad I am that I don't work there anymore, and how much that job sucks all the joy and goodwill from you?

I feel you on that and I am very glad I don't work in the industry any more myself. Unfortunately depending on tips really does affect the way you interact with people, though in my experience the people who did tip were pretty cool people anyway and worth your time to treat better, whereas the people who never did were either self-entitled or some trust fund douchebags who never have had to experience hardships. I gave a free pass to foreigners because it may not be customary or they just don't know, which is fair.

Beefed Owl
Sep 13, 2007

Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!
The Dice

What blows my mind about craps dice is how far those fuckers can bounce and fly off the table depending on how you throw them. We have an aquarium next to one of the craps table that had about two dozen dice sitting at the bottom of the tank from errant throws until they put a net on the top to stop them (probably because if one fell in we had to replace the whole 5 dice set for security reasons). We have had dice fly into people’s drinks including a lady I remember it dropped in her drink while she was walking past and didn’t even notice the dice shaped ice cube in her drink and kept sipping it while a dealer had to go retrieve it. Another time we had a dice fly into the cleavage of a really cute girl at the table and with the timing of a Marx Brothers movie five hands instantly shot up while a bunch of guys at the table, dealers included shouted, “I’ll get it”. My favorites are people new to shooting who just launch the dice to the other side, usually hitting players on the far end. If you are new to shooting, it’s very simple: only hold the dice in one hand you can’t switch hands with the dice or shoot with two hands, and lightly toss them to the other side with a motion like you are feeding chickens and you should be fine. Also you need to hit the back wall on the opposite side, we will still count throws that don’t make it but expect to get a little poo poo from dealers for a weak-rear end throw. I’ve seen new shooters shoot the dice on the same side they are on which is always good for a laugh when the dice travels two feet. Ill probably go into table etiquette next but for now let’s talk about Dice Controllers.

Seriously, knock it off, you aren’t affecting the outcome of the dice as much as you think you are. If there are actual dice controllers in the thread who can prove otherwise I would like to hear it but honestly it just slows the game way the gently caress down. To explain to people who don’t know several videos were sold years ago showing a method of holding and controlling the dice throw so that more hard-ways and winning numbers would show and fewer sevens would show, allowing for beating the house. You would set the dice to a certain configuration, one I have seen is making the threes point like “^”, then gripping the dice between the middle or pointer finger firmly but not too firmly, then in a light swinging motion throw the dice aiming at the pass line to allow the dice to bounce over the diamond rubber on the back designed to prevent manipulation, in the hopes they land very similar to the way they were thrown. Other methods have included sliding the dice but most tables have a hidden bump going down the middle that will flip the dice if it slides. There are several problems with this approach: the dice are very light and tumble like crazy even against flat surfaces, if they touch other chips, the corners or the rubber backing they will tumble and will not stay together, and most importantly, I have never seen dice controllers throw in any way consistent without it hitting a different part of the table or the dice moving erratically every time. It would take hundreds of hours of practice to perfect it but I guarantee you every person I have seen tried probably watched a Youtube video and said, “That looks easy”, then they almost instantly seven out and lose.

The thing is I have seen the original videos due to a co-worker knowing someone who bought them. They are a loving joke. First of all, the guys are all dressed as Amish men, like that’s supposed to add credibility, whereas I am pretty loving sure the Amish don’t gamble. Also, all the videos show is a guy throwing the dice against the back and the mock stick man calling the numbers, but they never show the actual dice landings, so it’s likely he’s making poo poo up while the guy dice controlling is probably shooting a fuckload of sevens. Most of my experience comes from watching this poo poo first hand. I have seen probably a couple hundred dice controllers but I don’t ever remember ones going for long streaks. gently caress, when I shoot I just grab the dice and toss them willy loving nilly against the back wall and I have longer roll streaks than these guys. The guys who sold the videos also sell mock tables to practice with which is probably where most of their money comes from because I guarantee you they aren’t winning in the casino long-term.

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Lesson here is just throw the drat dice, we had a guy shoot for over two hours without hitting a seven and the dude was just chucking them, meanwhile I would just sit back and smirk at all these people trying their hardest to control the dice and seven out.

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free
That's amazing. I had no idea dice control was a thing, but it makes total sense, because people are very dumb, and want an easy payday, and are always looking for that one weird trick

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

Only Data from Star Trek could perfectly throw the dice exactly the same angle, power, position in hand and account for all the various factors to constantly Get the dice to not roll at all and hit sevens on come out rolls. And everyone thinks they’re data and baby needs a new pair of space shoes

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Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

I made some cash on a weird side job so I had like $300 to blow, decided to go to Blackhawk in Colorado and lasted a long loving time with that money, like, almost a year. All playing craps. It's all gone now but it was fun.

Some questions:

Do dealers exclusively date dealers? I heard the dealers talk so much about who was dating who and married to who and it was always other dealers. It was really bizarre.

What's the most aggressive roll you've seen? I saw a dude a few times that would take a running start at the table, hit his big rear end belly against the table and toss the dice. Besides all the wind up it ended up like any other dice roll. He was told to stop because he was moving the table and the cameras were specifically set up to look at certain things I guess.

How much to waitresses make? That looks like a good loving gig, they get tips like a motherfucker.

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