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Kitchner posted:Also, going back to the condom board for a moment. I wonder what the guys reaction would be if you put on some rubber gloves, and then stuck up a bunch of non-used condoms there and moved his washed condoms around. ???
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Feb 21, 2020 14:10
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Power Khan posted:Think SO might be cheating - dog acting way to familiar around new friend from work It's the pet equivalent of "GF's phone connected to friend's wifi automatically"
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Feb 21, 2020 14:14
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Dogs will never lie to you!
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Feb 21, 2020 14:41
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For the past few days every time I've gotten coffee at work I think to myself "little rat coffee"
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Feb 21, 2020 14:44
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Dazerbeams posted:Dogs will never lie to you! What about when they fart and then give you that "Who, me?" poo poo?
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Feb 21, 2020 15:50
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Pope Corky the IX posted:What about when they fart and then give you that "Who, me?" poo poo? Those are cats cleverly disguised as dogs DO NOT BE FOOLED
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Feb 21, 2020 15:55
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In my experience cat farts are usually silent and they give no indication that they've just made your eyes tear. One of the funniest things I've ever seen is when one of my cats got into some spicy nacho cheese and then later came flying out of the litter box and spent about fifteen minutes trying to run away from his own rear end in a top hat.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:00
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Pope Corky the IX posted:What about when they fart and then give you that "Who, me?" poo poo? My parent's dog just kinda moves away like "goodness someone's made a terrible reek over there."
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Feb 21, 2020 16:14
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TIL Durex Mutual Climax ruined my last relationship and it’s still completely my faultquote:Well today I hooked up with a girl for the first time since me and my last partner split. I grab a condom and go to put it on. She then proceeds to stop me and points out that the condoms I’m using have numbing agents inside them to make the guy last longer. Boom everything aligns in my head. I split up with this girl because the sex just didn’t work. I couldn’t finish and was constantly sexually frustrated and she couldn’t get over the insecurities of thinking that she wasn’t good. And now I find out that my dumb rear end was using numbing condoms. gently caress.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:30
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Dazerbeams posted:I’m trying to imagine what a legit 1k food budget would look like on a two person household. They’d both be morbidly obese at the very least, right? Unless it’s just huffing spices. I've been making a list of Top Answers to Reddit Questions. Please add your suggestions. 1. Yes, that's abuse. You are being abused. Here is an abuse hotline. 1b. It sucks that you're under [legal age in your state]. Start preparing to leave at 18. 1c. Yes, you can move out of your parents' home. Here are the documents you'll need. Here are some financial hints. 2. You can break up any time you want, for any reason. You don't have to put up with somebody you don't like any more. 2a. That may be "just the way they are", but "the way they are" is an rear end in a top hat. 2b. Just because they depend on you doesn't mean you have to keep supporting them, emotionally or monetarily. Arsenic Lupin fucked around with this message at 16:57 on Feb 21, 2020 |
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Feb 21, 2020 16:31
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Arsenic Lupin posted:You could probably manage it if you shopped only at Whole Foods. Probably. 3. No, touching between your own rear end cheeks doesn't make you gay. Wash your nasty rear end
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Feb 21, 2020 16:34
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Has that come up more than once?
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Feb 21, 2020 16:37
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Arsenic Lupin posted:You could probably manage it if you shopped only at Whole Foods. Probably. Several red flag emojis
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Feb 21, 2020 16:40
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2c. If there are problems in the relationship, they will not be improved by moving in together, getting a pet,, marriage, getting matching tattoos, co-worshipping Timothy, or procreating. They will also not fix themselves on their own. They will also get worse over time unless you can communicate with your partner and work on them together, but c'mon, we all know you won't so go hog wild on cementing your misery together!
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Feb 21, 2020 16:42
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Arsenic Lupin posted:You could probably manage it if you shopped only at Whole Foods. Probably. 1d. Change all your passwords and make sure you are the only one with access to your bank account
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Feb 21, 2020 16:47
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DemoneeHo posted:TIL Durex Mutual Climax ruined my last relationship and it’s still completely my fault Ahhhh amazing. I just like to imagine he immediately went to the computer to type this up because of how mad he is at his own inadvertent stupidity. Bit of a campaign poster for reading the instructions / fine print of anything like that. Anything medical related, really.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:47
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Arsenic Lupin posted:I've been making a list of Top Answers to Reddit Questions. Please add your suggestions. Hahahahaha, no they loving won't. For every example of police doing this, there's a dozen where they outright refused. My friend is going through a divorce and just wanted to go pick up her cats. Her ex-husband acknowledged the cats were hers in an email and said if she showed up on 'his' property (they were both on the lease) he'd shoot her. Cops refused to escort her to the house to get her cats because 'we don't handle civil matters, ma'am.' Cops are not a dependable resource for abuse victims.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:52
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Arsenic Lupin posted:Has that come up more than once? Sadly yes. Although it's usually written by the girlfriends of these men, baffled at their partner's lack of hygiene.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:52
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Dienes posted:Hahahahaha, no they loving won't. For every example of police doing this, there's a dozen where they outright refused. My friend is going through a divorce and just wanted to go pick up her cats. Her ex-husband acknowledged the cats were hers in an email and said if she showed up on 'his' property (they were both on the lease) he'd shoot her. Cops refused to escort her to the house to get her cats because 'we don't handle civil matters, ma'am.' Excellent point. I don't know why I violated the ACAB axiom.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:56
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Cops should help but ACAB, I guess.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:58
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4. Call a therapist, set up an appointment, and bring a printout of the original post (and specify some of OP’s comments when applicable). No one here can help you. Most recent example being “how do I get him to dump his loser gf” girl, but it’s pretty widely applicable.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:59
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That guy sounds kind of scummy. He's really disappointed but also still wants her to call him and work it out(so he can keep her as a fallback). Also he wants to know why she blocked him on Instagram, so he could presumably keep jerking it to her pictures.
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Feb 21, 2020 16:59
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John Wick of Dogs posted:That guy sounds kind of scummy. He's really disappointed but also still wants her to call him and work it out(so he can keep her as a fallback). Also he wants to know why she blocked him on Instagram, so he could presumably keep jerking it to her pictures. i am pretty sure he is just too supportive for his own good
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Feb 21, 2020 17:04
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Help! Lost a game match with boyfriend (20M) and is ignoring me (19F)quote:So my boyfriend and I played a custom bot match in a known moba game. He suggested me to play this character i didnt know how to play and said it would be fun, so i did
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Feb 21, 2020 17:07
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Licarn posted:Help! Lost a game match with boyfriend (20M) and is ignoring me (19F) I like this one because it's unnecessary to wait for the inevitable prodding which causes OP to reveal this is an entirely online "relationship" between two people who have never met. You can just smell it.
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Feb 21, 2020 17:10
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my wife that she should find a more productive and less wasteful hobby? 1 hour a day -> reasonable amount of time for a hobby spends "almost her entire fun budget" on it -> spending within established limits "doesn't even wear makeup to work" -> does this at times of her choosing no evidence of hobby having negative impact on self/relationship/others Yes this dude is TA. You don't get to tell other people what to be interested in. He should be encouraging her to share it with the world, not trying to stifle her expression. He should take her out to a fancy dinner on a saturday so she can have time to do a look of her choosing. "I like seeing all the ways you do makeup and I want a chance to really see and appreciate one of the do's, whichever one you want"
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Feb 21, 2020 17:13
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AITA for proving that my uncle's easily offended? My uncle's 56, and has it out for "SJWs", my generation, and women who aren't submissive. You can basically say, "Remember back in 1999 when" and he'll interrupt about how everybody born since then is an easily offended snowflake. He came over, angry that his supervisor wrote him up. Basically, he told a racist joke to a black guy. I told him, "Most people don't like racists. Doesn't take that many brain cells to figure that one out." He said, "It's not my drat problem that your generation's a bunch of easily offended pansies." I told him, "Says the one that doesn't like to be told to lose weight." (He's 6'1 and 400 lb.) He called me a disrespectful little bitch and left, and my roommates watching that exchange said I went too far. I told them I was proving a point to a guy who'd hate me for existing if I wasn't family, and they told me to be the bigger person. AITA? I genuinely don't see what's wrong with what I did. "My uncle thinks doctors are Jewish quacks"
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Feb 21, 2020 17:38
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DemoneeHo posted:TIL Durex Mutual Climax ruined my last relationship and it’s still completely my fault Thought this was going to be like the Curb episode where he uses the numbing condom inside out
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Feb 21, 2020 17:39
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Uncle Enzo posted:1 hour a day -> reasonable amount of time for a hobby But don't you understand she's making pretty stuff instead of playing video games. She's basically committing war crimes.
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Feb 21, 2020 17:42
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Uncle Enzo posted:1 hour a day -> reasonable amount of time for a hobby That's all well and good, but this is WAY more than a, "I don't agree with your hobby" thing. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what hobbies even are, and why people pursue them. Dude's not just an rear end in a top hat, he's also an insufferable manchild. He even states that his wife isn't even getting anything out of it. He's completely oblivious to the fact that she enjoys it, regardless of whether she wears it out or not. For gently caress's sake, he thinks he's "helping her grow" by trying to push her in to other hobbies!
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Feb 21, 2020 17:43
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Chomp8645 posted:I like this one because it's unnecessary to wait for the inevitable prodding which causes OP to reveal this is an entirely online "relationship" between two people who have never met. Also the kind of person who gets mad at someone enough to not talk to them after losing a match. Look, I get that MOBA players are a diverse enough bunch, but this specific kind is exactly why I've never bothered with them.
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Feb 21, 2020 17:44
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Arsenic Lupin posted:Has that come up more than once? Solid five minutes of laughter, unskippable
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Feb 21, 2020 17:58
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AITA for for making my husband pick between me and his friend/ex? My (25F) husband (27M) met "Josie" (26F) when she was 17, she had a 4 month old baby at the time. They dated for 5 years, we started dating 6 months later. Joise moved about 600 miles away less than three months after they broke up. I gave birth about 4 months ago, things have been tense lately because the baby is sick. Josie moved back about 8-9 months ago? And they started hanging out every weekend. Then she started hanging around our house, even though I've told her and my husband I'm not ok with it. She refers to her child as my childs sibling and as my husbands child, even though that child hasn't seen my husband in years and barely remembers him? I finally had enough and told him he had to pick, I'm sick and tired of our child coming second to his exs child. We're now in an argument where he insists I'm acting immature and that he is allowed to have friends. We are in counselling. AITA?
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Feb 21, 2020 18:03
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Kitchner posted:Also, going back to the condom board for a moment. I wonder what the guys reaction would be if you put on some rubber gloves, and then stuck up a bunch of non-used condoms there and moved his washed condoms around. LOL, there's no reasonable reaction to someone who keeps used condoms, let alone puts them on display, let alone puts them on display in a common area. They should have put bars of soap into condoms and beat him while he slept
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Feb 21, 2020 18:03
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DemoneeHo posted:TIL Durex Mutual Climax ruined my last relationship and it’s still completely my fault 
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Feb 21, 2020 18:04
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for for making my husband pick between me and his friend/ex?  That husband has no respect for her at all.
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Feb 21, 2020 18:06
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AITA for wearing an ahegao sweater at the gym?quote:For those not in the know, ahegao is a facial expression that is drawn in Japanese cartoon porn, can't really explain it better but this is what the sweater looks like. Also OP posted:odd that a woman is allowed to wear what she wants, but a man isn't. Tad sexist. Who are you to define what is normal wear? is that not down to the owner of whatever establishment the person is in?
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Feb 21, 2020 18:17
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for proving that my uncle's easily offended? to be the bigger person they'd have to gain 300 lbs 
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Feb 21, 2020 18:20
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lol it's completely sfw, it's just a bunch of anime orgasm faces don't worry
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Feb 21, 2020 18:20
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for proving that my uncle's easily offended? Sounds like it's time for some new roommates. A man who hates other people based on race or gender, yet it's too far to call him fat. Sounds like they get a little to easily offended to me.
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Feb 21, 2020 18:21
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