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Trapick posted:His are very traditional Catholic, older, wife was a stay at home mom, etc. No daughter of mine is going to college, clown or otherwise. Maybe the mother was more progressive than her father, and would have been fine with a daughter going to clown college for a Mrs. Degree. You know, as long as she married an aspiring clown doctor in their medical program.
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Feb 23, 2020 05:09
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I (34M) don’t feel as sexually attracted to my wife (31F) as I wish I was. Messed up things I’ve done compound the issue. TL;DR at the bottom. Me (34M) and my wife (31F) have been together 11 years (location UK). I have been struggling recently with not feeling as sexually attracted to her as I used to/want. This is all wrapped up in some pretty messed up things I’ve done in the last 2 years (long description below). History: Prior to us getting together, I (23 at the time) had never had a relationship or been with anyone. I had huge self-confidence and self-image issues. There was a girl I really liked and was best friends with for 2 years, but she was never interested in a relationship. This affected me badly, I was lonely and probably depressed; I felt I’d be alone forever. I was in a really bad place. One day my now wife literally jumped into my life, made a move on me and we got together. It all happened so fast; we never really dated and it was 0-100 in no time at all. The feelings for the other girl vanished almost immediately and so I put my previous issues down to being desperate for a relationship rather than anything specific about that girl. Fast-forward and me and my wife had 9.5 great years together. We grew as people together and I feel we had a kind of “innocence” and “pure” love. We have the same goals, hobbies, interests, values and views…we both feel like we found our life partner. Two years ago, I started a new job where I was working closely with another woman. We got along very well. From comments I made to my wife (innocent from my POV), she became concerned, threatened and jealous and felt I had an attraction towards the other woman. I felt accused, that she didn’t trust me and I couldn’t be myself and be friends with the other woman. This all led to conflict between me and my wife that lasted about a year and a half (many long and hard discussions). It was a very difficult time and we both felt very hurt by it. We gradually moved past it, I came to understand her POV about my actions and words and my wife came to understand that it may have been coming from her insecurities. Last month my wife discovered a secret I’d been hiding for the whole of our relationship and prior. Ever since I was young (11/12) I would masturbate to pictures. Gradually this became people I knew (Facebook pics). When me and my wife got together, I didn’t stop this and have been doing it since. My wife is very hurt by this; she has no issue with porn, but people we know makes it “too close to home” and sexualises people we know (includes the girl before we were together, friends, colleagues, her sisters). I don’t know why I did this, why I thought it was in any way acceptable. I guess I considered it “normal” for me because I’d always done it. I never stopped to consider my wife’s feelings; I was selfish, dishonest, sneaky and a liar. I compartmentalised my actions from our relationship and minimised what I was doing. What my wife discovered was only partially the truth, I lied to cover my rear end and minimise the consequences. However, last week I told the full truth about this situation. I now feel naked, exposed and disgusting. Issues: We both feel our relationship was never built upon sex and strong sexual attraction and other things were more important. We both had sexual attraction to each other, but we would describe it as “moderate” attraction. Our sex life has been good, having sex about twice per week; strangely we’ve had it even more since the issue came out last month. We both love each other so much, that has never been in doubt. When I look back on our relationship, I have never really had an identity outside the relationship. Before we were together, I was so inexperienced and messed up and I never found who “I” am. It has always been “us”, there isn’t really a “me” and “her” (if that makes sense). I also hate myself; I always have to some extent but do so much more now knowing what I’ve done to the person I love. The innocence and purity our relationship once had has been broken by my actions; I feel we have lost so much, yet we still have so much; everything seems the same but feels different. This last week I have felt very down and disillusioned. I feel like my sexual attraction to my wife is much lower than it used to be. I also don’t know if the attraction levels have always been low, but that other compatibilities meant it wasn’t an issue for me (which are now strained because of the current issues) or whether, in the last month, sexual attraction has “increased” on my priority list to a point where it is now an issue. I do get the feeling something is missing; I don’t get the feeling like I want to “rip her clothes off”. I do find her attractive and "like to look at her"...but at the same time she is not my "type" physically. Apologies for the long post. Does anyone have any advice for us? Anyone been through similar experiences where sexual attraction has diminished (or was low to begin with). How did you get through this (or didn’t you)? TL;DR - I (34M) don’t feel as sexually attracted to my wife (31F) as I wish I was. I was more so in the past but much less now. I was inexperienced and messed up when we got together, and have masturbated to pictures of people we know our whole relationship (she knows). I now feel like a strong sexual attraction is missing. Does anyone who has been through similar issues have any advice?
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Feb 23, 2020 05:13
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Yeah that dude is extremely reddit.
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Feb 23, 2020 05:38
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Christ the good ole 'masturbating to facebook pictures' flag. what color is that reddit?!
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Feb 23, 2020 05:52
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cumshitter posted:No daughter of mine is going to college, clown or otherwise. You know clown college is a euphemism for jail, right?
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Feb 23, 2020 06:08
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Miss posted:I (F/34) can’t tell if my fiancé (M/35) is taking advantage of me or if he really just needs help or both. I don’t know what to do. quote:my fiancé got fired in September. It was because of something horrendously stupid. He was a team lead and when someone else got fired my fiancé went on the ex employee’s computer which was still unlocked for some reason and started sending messages to other coworkers as a joke. When he got fired, his boss told him someone sent sexually explicit messages to someone from that computer while it was open. My fiancé to this day denies the sexual messages were from him and that other people were playing around on it. I don't think you can blame ADHD for sending sexually explicit messages, nor can you blame it for trying to blackmail your boss. How can someone be getting constantly fired from their jobs for being a complete and utter loving moron yet this person is all baffled as to whether or not she is allowed to be angry at him?
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Feb 23, 2020 06:13
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Mr. Lobe posted:You know clown college is a euphemism for jail, right?
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Feb 23, 2020 06:16
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Mr. Lobe posted:You know clown college is a euphemism for jail, right? I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way. Alternatively: Yale, euphemism for Yale.
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Feb 23, 2020 06:23
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cumshitter posted:
I usually don't question your judgment, cumshitter, but she would've killed his rear end dead for $2 million
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Feb 23, 2020 06:35
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way. "You say you went to Yale?" "I yust got out last week."
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Feb 23, 2020 06:48
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pentyne posted:I don't think you can blame ADHD for sending sexually explicit messages, nor can you blame it for trying to blackmail your boss. I think you underestimate how much pressure a lot of women get to be kind and forgiving to men, especially romantic partners. In some cases, it can be hard to find examples of something she's been told she IS allowed to get angry over. Maybe murder.
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Feb 23, 2020 07:31
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Mr. Lobe posted:You know clown college is a euphemism for jail, right? I've literally never heard it used that way. Vim Fuego posted:I usually don't question your judgment, cumshitter, but she would've killed his rear end dead for $2 million Even with ToD instructions you need a death certificate and that means you have to wait around a few weeks before it's issued.
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Feb 23, 2020 07:49
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JacquelineDempsey posted:I call my man my husband, but truth of the matter is we're not married. But we're in our 40's, and have been together for 17 years, so it's just easier to call him that (since most people assume we are married, and I feel stupid calling a guy in his late 40's my "boyfriend"). depending on where you live, you may be one short conversation away from being actually literally (common law) married!
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Feb 23, 2020 07:52
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Mr. Lobe posted:You know clown college is a euphemism for jail, right? I thought it was a euphemism for sex, but maybe that's just an thing among my exes.
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Feb 23, 2020 07:56
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Frankenstyle posted:I thought it was a euphemism for sex, but maybe that's just an thing among my exes. I think even at clown college you need to attend more than one class a year to graduate
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Feb 23, 2020 08:11
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for indirectly making my wife lose her job? So this guy is in complete denial about how bad he is at driving, yeah?
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Feb 23, 2020 08:14
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Barudak posted:I think even at clown college you need to attend more than one class a year to graduate But op finished first in his class
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Feb 23, 2020 08:15
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Inceltown posted:But op finished first in his class Summa cum primus
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Feb 23, 2020 08:20
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:So this guy is in complete denial about how bad he is at driving, yeah?
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Feb 23, 2020 08:26
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AmiYumi posted:Could be, but I’ve seen people go completely insane about not being able to be the one making decisions to the point that they turn a simple drive wildly unsafe and/or cause a crash. Ever been in a car where someone shrieks at every intersection? My dad wasn't that bad, but he was the driver so often that when in the passenger seat he had a lot of anxiety. Partially because his instinct was that there was another 4 feet of car to his right so he kept thinking we were about to crash.
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Feb 23, 2020 08:30
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Bruceski posted:My dad wasn't that bad, but he was the driver so often that when in the passenger seat he had a lot of anxiety. Partially because his instinct was that there was another 4 feet of car to his right so he kept thinking we were about to crash.
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Feb 23, 2020 08:34
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My boyfriend (M 21) literally does nothing all dayquote:Me (f 21) and him (m 21) have been dating for five months.
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Feb 23, 2020 08:38
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Licarn posted:My boyfriend (M 21) literally does nothing all day Doesn’t mention one positive thing about the relationship.
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Feb 23, 2020 08:50
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My [22M] GF [22F] of 3y says that everybody that have my hobby are freaks and should get a life.quote:To be brief, I am perfectly normal, I finished my degree in a very good university and I am working at a bank for more money that I ever thought. I have a house, a car, I have many friends, I go out very often, I am generally liked and respected.
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Feb 23, 2020 08:59
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quote:What can I do? How should I feel? Am I making a mountain out of an ant-hill? For god's sake, let this poor poetic man to care for his ants.
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Feb 23, 2020 09:04
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AmiYumi posted:Could be, but I’ve seen people go completely insane about not being able to be the one making decisions to the point that they turn a simple drive wildly unsafe and/or cause a crash. Ever been in a car where someone shrieks at every intersection? When people asked what he's like behind the wheel he said "My driving is decent at least I’d say" which was pretty wishywashy, but on the other hand the fact that the wife refuses to take an Uber might also indicate that she's got issues being a passenger. I guess we won't really know unless the wife or the wife's friend finds the thread and puts in their 2c.
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Feb 23, 2020 09:07
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 Upsetting content here. Destroyed my family with a car accident that was my fault. Now I can't handle it and I want out. quote:My wife (30 f) and I (32 m) have been married five and together seven. Before the car accident my wife and I had an amazing relationship. She was my best friend and our little family was my life. A year and a half ago my wife, who was nine months pregnant at the time, and I were on our way to the in-laws for a family get-together . The roads were a little slippery thanks to a light rain. My wife and I had been arguing a bit over a job offer I had just received that would involve relocating far from her family. I remember that I was very angry over her inability to be considerate about my needs. I am angry driver normally so this really put me in a bad spot to concentrate on my driving. I was going on and on about the wonderful opportunity that this was and I looked over to notice that she had fallen asleep. I instinctively reached over to wake her up and for some reason I turned the wheel. I lost control of the vehicle, sending us into an embankment. Everyone was wearing a seat belt. The accident caused so much damage to the fetus that it only lived an hour. My wife was left with permanent damage to her spine and is now wheelchair bound, possibly for the rest of her life. She also has problems remembering things thanks to a head injury she got when a tree went through the windshield. She can remember most basic things but she gets confused easily and will sometimes start entire conversations over and over.
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Feb 23, 2020 09:16
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That can't be real. Please tell me it's not real.
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Feb 23, 2020 09:23
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Hm well I regret reading that
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Feb 23, 2020 09:25
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sincx fucked around with this message at 06:12 on Mar 23, 2021 |
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Feb 23, 2020 09:28
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sincx fucked around with this message at 06:12 on Mar 23, 2021 |
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Feb 23, 2020 09:33
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Miss posted:this is very normal in europe Whenever there's a story with religious insanity: this is very normal in the US
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Feb 23, 2020 09:55
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AITA for telling my husband that he cannot wear headphones anymore? My husband works early in the morning by his choice, from 5:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. I work from 8-6 . When my husband gets home, he immediately starts watching TV. He wears a pair of wireless headphones. He puts the volume extremely loud—I can hear every word from the headphones when I’m standing all the way across the room. Because of his headphones he does not hear the landline phone ringing. I’ve asked him to keep his cell phone nearby, but he is cell phone illiterate and apparently he doesn’t notice when it is buzzing in his pocket. This past week, our 16-year-old daughter called me at around 4:00 in tears. Her car had an issue, both she and her sister (13) were on the side of the highway. I was obviously very upset, but still at work. I asked if she’d called her father, since he was in the best position to come help them. She said she’d called his cell phone and his landline several times and nobody had answered. I had to leave work early, which was inconvenient to my boss and colleagues, to go help them. They were fine, by the way, but we had to call a tow truck and I drove them both home. I got home and I was furious with my husband. In my opinion he’s being completely negligent, knowing that his family is all out and could need his help. I might understand if he was at work, but he’s just sitting on his rear end watching hours of TV. I told him he couldn’t use the headphones anymore and couldn’t turn the TV up loud so he couldn’t hear the phone. I said until he got the message I would be calling him every day to check and see that he’s answering. He was furious and accused me of treating him like a child. told him that I was because he’s acting like one. This is not the first time he’s been unreachable in an emergency. Basically we’re in a standoff now. I almost want to throw them away. Our daughters are not a fan of the fighting but have confided in me that they think I’m right. AITA?
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Feb 23, 2020 10:10
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Dont throw away the headphones lady, throw away the guy directly.
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Feb 23, 2020 10:13
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:My [22M] GF [22F] of 3y says that everybody that have my hobby are freaks and should get a life. I really hope this person can get together with the earthworm girl from earlier.
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Feb 23, 2020 11:09
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My (23F) boyfriend (22M) has thrown up several times around my house and I am upset he doesn’t throw up in the trash or toilet, am I wrong?quote:My (23F) boyfriend (22M) of 4 years has stomach problems. He has had several issues with his stomach, including frequent vomiting. I feel bad for him that he has to go through this but I have frustrated because there have been several occasions where he has vomited on our things, including my bed, and not cleaned it up or saw issue with it at all. I don’t understand why he can’t throw up in the toilet like most people do. I don’t know if I am being cruel and this is something that happens to people or if he is being irresponsible. Please let me know what you think about this. I need advice if I should step back or if I’m right to be angry and upset ? That one was pretty short, so here's another. I (31F) let my sister-in-law (28F) pick something up from my house when I wasn't there. Her niece spilled something all over. Is it unreasonable to ask my sister-in-law to pay the costs? quote:Two weeks ago sister-in-law needed to borrow supplies for a charity event she was working on. The event was starting before I got home from work, so I gave her the garage code and told her she could find what she needed in my office cabinets. Later that day she texted me saying she had her niece with her, and that her niece "had an accident," but that they cleaned up and "it's practically invisible now."
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Feb 23, 2020 11:20
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:My [22M] GF [22F] of 3y says that everybody that have my hobby are freaks and should get a life. Anti-Hill guy sounds awesome and his girlfriend sounds shallow and judgey. Does it take someone a bit weird to like having a box crawling with insects in your house and then get all teary eye-ed and inspired looking at it? For sure. Is it any more weird than say, a cross fit person going on a genuine holiday with friends where they work out all holiday and bang on about it every time you see them? What are his girlfriend's hobbies? I was sort of not that bothered when she said everyone else is weird because I've done hobbies where about 70% of the people are weird and I try to only hang out with the non-weird ones or sort of tolerate the weird ones and just acknowledge other people don't/won't. When she was like "you're also a loser who needs to get a life" that was just her insulting him.
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Feb 23, 2020 12:35
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My (22f) brother (17m) is a misogynistic, 'youtuber' high school drop outquote:My brother dropped out of highschool at 15 to pursue a career as a YouTuber. It then evolved into him wanting to become an animator but he has yet to make any progress or produce any animations despite having our dad buy a lot of expensive equipment for him. Now he wants to make video games.
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Feb 23, 2020 13:02
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It's too late, sacrifice him to Moloch
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Feb 23, 2020 14:17
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SerialKilldeer posted:I really hope this person can get together with the earthworm girl from earlier. 
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Feb 23, 2020 14:43
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