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In my line of work (high hazard insurance), I see a lot of wrecked aircraft. Most people are surprised to learn that a lot of air incidents are survivable so it's not as depressing as it sounds. I've discovered though that 0 fatality major accidents are often oddly hilarious. Something about jet craft in particular in places where they don't belong is just endlessly funny to me in a really silly way, they just look so dumb in places where airplanes don't normally (/shouldn't) go. "Hello sir, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, J-" "JESUS CHRIST!!!" "Why yes, so you've already heard the Good Word." "They told me I could be anything I wanted to be. So I became an inchworm." "Guys don't to out further, I forgot my wing floaties!" "Ah poo poo, I fell asleep at the beach, does my back look bad?" DURR I'M A PLERN, GOING 2 BEECH Tokyo Drifting: Masterclass Edition Post airplanes in predicaments! "Happy" no loss of life only accidents only, please. 13Pandora13 fucked around with this message at 03:22 on Mar 5, 2020 |
# ? Mar 5, 2020 02:57 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 13:27 |
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:06 |
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:09 |
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*Presses call button* "Excuse me, ma'am, is that...normal?" "Yes ma'am, blowing off half the loving wing after you ram it into the ground is to be expected." *boop* FACE DOWN. rear end UP. THAT'S THE WAY WE LIKE TO F...ail at landing an aircraft properly. "Fuckfuckfuck I wrecked my dad's jet, he's gonna kill me." "Dude just throw some branches on it, nobody is going to notice." Everyone: "Excuse me, has anyone seen my rear end? I seem to have misplaced my rear end." (side note, aborting takeoff too late and burning an $85m piece of aviation history to ash is a profoundly dick move) ENGINEWHEEL. " I'm just feeling really overwhelmed and I just want to nap, please chill out, I'm feeling so attacked right now." 13Pandora13 fucked around with this message at 03:23 on Mar 5, 2020 |
# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:11 |
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posting DC-10's is cheating
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:13 |
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"Oh what a lovely day for a fli-BLLLARGHASDAFGHJK" "Don't mind me, I'm just a big dumb rear end in a top hat going on a Sunday drive!" *sigh* "Can you don't." Good news: you mom's Embraer dildo is finished. Bad news: it crashed in Ottawa. "Please exit via the emergency slide, sir!" "..." "..." "...gently caress you." (seriously what the gently caress): "Am I in the lines? I feel like I'm crooked. Let me back out and try again." 13Pandora13 fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Mar 5, 2020 |
# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:19 |
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VikingSkull posted:posting DC-10's is cheating DC-10s where nobody died is absolutely not cheating. This is most excellent.
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:19 |
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:20 |
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:26 |
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they're friends! The 'shops are a totally different direction from what I had in mind but honestly the best possible development.
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:26 |
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13Pandora13 posted:The 'shops are a totally different direction from what I had in mind but honestly the best possible development. And they can be yours for a ri-di-cu-lous price too! As a bonus, we'll include a copy of: Bronze Fonz fucked around with this message at 03:39 on Mar 5, 2020 |
# ? Mar 5, 2020 03:30 |
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Well no wonder these two crashed, they installed the propellers on the wrong side!
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:11 |
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:15 |
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Good luck, we're all counting on you.
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:16 |
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Bronze Fonz posted:And they can be yours for a ri-di-cu-lous price too! Hot drat this is perfect
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 04:31 |
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just gonna slap this bad boy down on this here 1/4 mile drag strip
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 06:13 |
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oh poo poo I remember when that happened
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 08:23 |
I don't think anyone died in this image. Then again, that man does seem to be missing his legs... https://i.imgur.com/8nNDGSU.png That's better! His bottom half is missing because he is in waist-high vegetation.
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 08:25 |
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Advancements in Air Travel
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 09:05 |
Can anyone do anything with the DC 2.5? A DC 3 that had one wing replaced with a DC 2 wing?
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 09:13 |
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It's funny when the fuselage is mostly intact and there are big baloon rampy things coming out of the emergency exits. Less so when it's like "so, there's a debris field... and we can't find any part of your daughter that isn't mixed with another person"
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 09:28 |
https://i.imgur.com/uKx9P8K.png Don't drink and fly!
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 09:30 |
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Relayer posted:It's funny when the fuselage is mostly intact and there are big baloon rampy things coming out of the emergency exits. Less so when it's like "so, there's a debris field... and we can't find any part of your daughter that isn't mixed with another person" This. As funny as these are I can’t believe some of these crashes had ZERO fatalities. Some look like they should have at least taken out the captain or some unlucky bastards in first class or something. Also, insert Daily Crash 10 joke here
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 11:16 |
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If anybody uses Line app for group chats (it's like Japanese Whatsapp) you can get tons airplane sticker comments! All in various predicaments. https://store.line.me/stickershop/product/1590928/en
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 13:08 |
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This thread is as good of a place as any to post this. Boeing must be mad that DC holds the title for world’s shittiest planes and is gunning for the position. The 737 Max carnage was not enough... https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.se...s-test/%3famp=1 https://www.seattletimes.com/business/boeing-aerospace/door-blows-out-during-ground-test-on-boeing-777x-jet/ Boeing’s rides are so relaxing you just want to lie back, relax, and decompress
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# ? Mar 5, 2020 20:45 |
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extra row of teeth posted:This. Cross my heart, everything I've posted was no in-craft or ground fatalities! There are some largely intact accidents with funny endpoint positions that do fall into that "a couple of really unluckly souls" category (eg Daghestan DAG372) and I didn't post them because it's not in good taste. There's also things like Air Bagan JAB011 were you'd look at it and assume it was a total loss of all lives and it's like 2 people and it's mindblowing how so many others could have walked away from what was basically burned out rubble. 13Pandora13 fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Mar 6, 2020 |
# ? Mar 6, 2020 01:48 |
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numberoneposter posted:just gonna slap this bad boy down on this here 1/4 mile drag strip Oh man, I came here to post this. C-GAUN, the Gimli Glider, is my favourite aircraft disaster of all time. A series of hilarious fuckups (including using an old imperial conversion for fuel weight when they should have used metric... Canada had just switched and the 767 was the first all-metric craft in Air Canada's fleet) causes them to run out of fuel halfway across Canada. One engine flames out, then the other, then the pilots hear a BONG noise they've never heard before, ever, because no one bothered to run that scenario in the simulator, it was considered so unlikely. After the series of fuckups, a series of fortunate events helps the pilots get the aircraft on the ground with no loss of life. Discovering they can't make Winnipeg because their sink rate is too high, first officer Maurice Quintal remembers there's a huge runway at the former CFB Gimli, because he just happened to be stationed there as an RCAF pilot. Captain Bob Pearson gets the plane there, but they're coming in too high and too fast... fortunately he just happens to be a glider pilot in his spare time, so this motherfucker crosses the controls and sideslips the 767, losing both speed and altitude while staying lined up with the runway. The former runways have been converted to dragstrips for a local car club, who are having a weekend party. As the 767 silently appears out of the sky barreling directly towards the runway, everyone on the ground manages to get away in time, including some kids on bikes. The nose gear has failed to lock, and collapses, dragging the nose along the ground until the airplane comes to a stop. Small fires break out on the nose from the friction, but the car club members naturally have a ton of handheld fire extinguishers on hand and get the fires out almost immediately. Everyone escapes with only a few minor injuries from going down the slides.
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 02:52 |
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and the 767 is a big rear end glider in case you are wondering how you can even land a plane that big without the engines going is that a neat little fan pops out that spins up with the incoming air and provides at least partial hydraulic power numberoneposter fucked around with this message at 02:59 on Mar 6, 2020 |
# ? Mar 6, 2020 02:54 |
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Mill Town posted:Oh man, I came here to post this. C-GAUN, the Gimli Glider, is my favourite aircraft disaster of all time. A series of hilarious fuckups (including using an old imperial conversion for fuel weight when they should have used metric... Canada had just switched and the 767 was the first all-metric craft in Air Canada's fleet) causes them to run out of fuel halfway across Canada. One engine flames out, then the other, then the pilots hear a BONG noise they've never heard before, ever, because no one bothered to run that scenario in the simulator, it was considered so unlikely. the best part is what you see in the picture, they just roped the fucker off and kept racing
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 02:58 |
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numberoneposter posted:and the 767 is a big rear end glider And the manual overrides for the landing gear is all designed so (hopefully) gravity and the jolt from the door opening is enough to lock it in place! Frequently, not all of the gear locks though, as it ends up the manual release for a bigass aircraft bay door isn't super easy to manipulate (obviously you don't want it to be open-able by an accidental jostle) and it ends up being opened too gradually to get a good hard drop. Still helps to have some landing gear though, and pilots do get some training on how to land with screwed up landing gear https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epKrA8KjYvg
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 03:11 |
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numberoneposter posted:and the 767 is a big rear end glider Yeah the RAT (Ram Air Turbine), it pops out automatically when the engines go out. It's a pretty cool safety feature!
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 03:18 |
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VikingSkull posted:the best part is what you see in the picture, they just roped the fucker off and kept racing That fence was already there, the car club had set up a race course that used part of the runway as a straightaway and the other part was the drag strip
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 03:20 |
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"Do you guys feel that? It feels breezy in here to me." "This works for the album cover, right?" (this was a test flight and crashed intentionally) "Beep beep, motherfucker." "Please come back to the boat. You're being ridiculous." "No gently caress you, Greg, you said we were going fishing." "Okay so I know I'm technically a cargo carrier right now, but hear me out, coat of black paint: attack helicopter." Shittiest. Water slide. Ever.
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 03:36 |
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This is my building. Get out. You don't even fit. {SUBMARINE MODE: ACTIVATE} "I went to the market to get you a rose, but they were out, so I made one out of my face": "I specifically asked for the opposite of this." "Wheeeee!" "Mom watch me jump off the rope swing! Mom! Mom watch!" "Come on, come on, just flap, loving wings WHY WON'T YOU WORK."
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 03:43 |
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Just waiting patiently to cross e:loving Imgur postpic is my best friend now best bale fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Mar 6, 2020 |
# ? Mar 6, 2020 15:19 |
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numberoneposter posted:and the 767 is a big rear end glider
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 15:28 |
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Relayer posted:It's funny when the fuselage is mostly intact and there are big baloon rampy things coming out of the emergency exits. Less so when it's like "so, there's a debris field... and we can't find any part of your daughter that isn't mixed with another person" "She died as she lived, covered in other people's bodily fluids. ... too soon?" "Yes, officer. But thanks for letting us know."
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 15:58 |
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Everyone lived!
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 16:01 |
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Top Hats Monthly posted:Everyone lived! This is the power of having your seat forward and your tray in the upright position.
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 16:11 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 13:27 |
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"Dammit Bobby, were you born in a barn?"
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# ? Mar 6, 2020 16:12 |