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Beachcomber posted:I know anxiety makes me dry heave. This is probably the same set of switches. Yeah my anxiety used to make me vomit for hours before I started rigorous therapy for it. He's probably an anxiety vomiter, poor dude ☹️ I once barfed in a dude's trash can in front of him because I was so anxious on a date. He should go to therapy and exercise a lot. It helps. [quote="My (23f) fiance (29m) is unrecognizably cruel when he gets angry, then returns to normal after Relationships"] When my fiance gets angry during a fight, he says "I don't care" or "I don't have the energy for this. I don't want to try anymore." And it obviously devastates me. He falls asleep like clockwork after he gets angry, then wakes up pleasant and apologetic. Is this like some kind of neurological condition? I told him that when he makes vague threats that he doesn't want to be in the relationship, it makes me think he's leaving and hurts me and puts me on edge. He apologizes and says that "I shouldn't have to feel that way and he needs to be better." Then it repeats. He'll say "I'm sick of you and I'm fed up. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore." Then he falls asleep. He goes back to being loving the next day and says "I didn't say I want to leave. I was just mad." I'm not going anywhere." Rinse and repeat. One time he said "I don't care if I lose you." Then back in his good mood he said "I didn't mean it like that. I meant I'm not afraid of losing you because I know you're not going anywhere." Then, later that day he got angry again and said "I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done with you. I told you yesterday. I'm DONE." And I'm like... what? You told me yesterday? You told me TODAY that you don't mean these things? Obviously, this is NOT healthy in the slightest. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this that isn't leaving him? I understand why that will be the go to answer, but I don't need advice on that option. All you need to do to leave is leave. Has anyone ever successfully navigated this well? When he's in a good mood, he's willing to work on it, but it's impossible to work on it when he's disconnected to his angry side. It's almost like he's got two completely separate sides with separate memories. I should also add that his trigger is feeling controlled. He works in an ER with a big coronavirus outbreak right now so I asked him wash his hands before eating a burger and he lost it at me last week. Today the fight was because I wanted a heads up when he headed home so I could start dinner. He ignored my messages and calls and burst into the door pissed that I kept calling him while he was out with friends. I told him that if he just responded once with a "I'll let you know when I head out" and gave me a 2 minute call when he was on his way there wouldn't have been an issue. Instead he said "yeah I'll eat dinner at home" then said "I'll head home soon." An hour after he said "I'll head home soon" I started calling him and asking for a response. I know I'm not perfect, but his response of ignoring me and storming inside and saying "he's done with me" hurts a lot. I started crying and said "please don't be mean. You're entitled to be mad but can we please calm down?" He mocked me and said "awwww... are you going to cry?" I rubbed his arm and said "please don't do this. It hurts. I know you're mad but this hurts me and you always apologize and regret it after." He said "yep. I don't care. Don't loving touch me." He's only ever like this when he gets so mad he starts to pass out. It's like a physiological change. It's not an excuse, but is it even possible to work something out that's willing to as long as they're not upset? I can already tell this will be a bunch of "leave him" comments  I want to give it a good shot before I give up.Tl;dr my fiance gets cold and calloused when he's mad, then apologetic and willing to change when he's calm. Edit:typo [/quote] don longjohns fucked around with this message at 16:27 on Mar 10, 2020 |
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Mar 10, 2020 16:23
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The Bramble posted:I (24m) throw up when I am on dates I'm actually going to suggest that they were sexually abused and they have repressed the memory. Sounds crazy, but if this is the only time he gets this reaction it's in response to the prospect of intimacy with people.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:25
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Boyfriend doesn’t find any black women pretty and it’s unsettlingquote:Boyfriend and I are both 21, have been together ~1,5 years. I’m a black woman, he’s a white guy.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:26
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Licarn posted:Boyfriend doesn’t find any black women pretty and it’s unsettling guy is a scarecrow made out of red flags but wow she has some really weird hangups about women's looks. please  and 
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Mar 10, 2020 16:30
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AITA for putting bacon on my lunch to keep my Muslim friend from stealing itquote:I’m not a super healthy person. At school for lunch, I usually get cheese fries. I know, very unhealthy. But one of my friends sure likes to steal my fries, as well as food from our other friends at the table. He’ll grab a bit from our trays and eat it when we’re not looking sometimes. It’s not usually a lot; it’s more so just a nuisance. So I had an idea. My friend who likes to snatch our food sometimes is Muslim, and he keeps halal. Our school cafeteria gives us the option to get bacon on our fries too (I love America). I wouldn’t get bacon on my fries otherwise, but I would rather do that than set a precedent of my friend stealing my food. When I first sat down at our table, he said “What the gently caress man? Why’d you do that?” My friends sided with him. They said I went too far by not “respecting” his dietary restrictions. Too which I replied, “his dietary restrictions shouldn’t matter if he doesn’t eat my food”. I think I was totally in the right to do that, but my friends just thought it was petty because I didn’t get bacon before and I only started getting it to give him the finger. Thoughts?
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Mar 10, 2020 16:30
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A Penchant for Pantiesquote:I (45M) have a fetish for worn panties. My girlfriend (40F) of two years found out about it by going through my phone one night while I was sleeping. She said it was equal to cheating and that she was disgusted that I would continued to indulge in this behavior. She knew I was a “purchaser” early in the relationship and at the time she just said she didn’t want to find them laying around the house.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:31
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The Bramble posted:I (24m) throw up when I am on dates Seems like he needs a combination Xanax and Zofran prescription
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Mar 10, 2020 16:32
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But what weird religious people are clubbing? Maybe they are. I was never cool enough for clubbing. I dunno if this is the case with that particular person, but a lot of people who grew up in heavily repressed religious environments just go hog wild the moment they get away from anyone who can enforce rules. Edit: Licarn posted:A Penchant for Panties Jesus, this guy is so broken he doesn't realise the problem's his girlfriend and not his relatively mild fetish. Puppy Time fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Mar 10, 2020 |
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Mar 10, 2020 16:34
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AITA for agreeing with my adopted daughter?quote:So long story short, me and my 14-year old adopted daughter whose been with me for 11 years now got into an argument. During the argument she threw the good ol' "you're not my dad" card. So i said back to her "You're right. I'm not your dad and you're not my daughter." I kind of instantly regretted it, since she immediately started crying and went to her room. But i just regretted it cause she started crying, not because i necessarily did anything wrong.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:35
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DemoneeHo posted:AITA for agreeing with my adopted daughter? MAD
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Mar 10, 2020 16:39
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DemoneeHo posted:AITA for agreeing with my adopted daughter? Congrats on giving that girl more issues than the entire run of National Geographic.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:43
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chitoryu12 posted:AITA for putting bacon on my lunch to keep my Muslim friend from stealing it I mean, yes, obviously, but what the actual gently caress is this? quote:Our school cafeteria gives us the option to get bacon on our fries too (I love America)
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Mar 10, 2020 16:44
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Niric posted:I mean, yes, obviously, but what the actual gently caress is this? It's America.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:46
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Niric posted:I mean, yes, obviously, but what the actual gently caress is this? Is it really being an rear end in a top hat if it’s your food anyway and he’s stealing it? Bonus points since the bacon bits are probably the fake stuff that’s halaal anyway.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:47
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I mean just get bacon on your fries and don't explicitly tell everyone it's to keep Muslim guy from taking them
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Mar 10, 2020 16:49
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Personally, I'd want to know if there's a reason he keeps swiping everyone's food. Is his family less well off and he's not getting enough to eat? Is he just a lazy rear end in a top hat? The fact that the friends sided with him makes me think it might be the former.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:49
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Girlfriend took screenshot of ex's penisquote:Why did my girlfriend screenshot her ex's penis?
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Mar 10, 2020 16:50
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Bobulus posted:Personally, I'd want to know if there's a reason he keeps swiping everyone's food. Is his family less well off and he's not getting enough to eat? Is he just a lazy rear end in a top hat? The fact that the friends sided with him makes me think it might be the former. According to OP he always buys or brings a lunch, he just does it as like a dominance thing.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:50
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Ugly In The Morning posted:Bonus points since the bacon bits are probably the fake stuff that’s halaal anyway. Beggin' bits: mooslems don't know it's not bacon!
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Mar 10, 2020 16:50
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Promise rings are stupid and anyone involved with them should grow up. That said if I was the kind of weirdo who wanted those and my partner took hers off specifically to flirt with guys I'd tell her to leave it off and just bail in the relationship.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:51
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They're ok, if it's a promise to eat rear end
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Mar 10, 2020 16:54
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Promise rings are a southern Chiristian thing and a thing in sitcoms were you couldn’t imply the kids hosed
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Mar 10, 2020 16:55
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Chomp8645 posted:Beggin' bits: mooslems don't know it's not bacon! Literally the only dietary restriction that would prohibit the bacon bits you see at the store is a soy allergy. Those things are actually vegan.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:57
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Ugly In The Morning posted:Is it really being an rear end in a top hat if it’s your food anyway and he’s stealing it? Obviously a "dude just ask if you want some of my food" would have prevented this, but now they're locked in eternal food warfare.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:01
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Chomp8645 posted:It's America. Fair. And I'm not even judging the cuisine - I could understand that sort of thing from a diner or whatever, but a school cafeteria? Yikes. Ugly In The Morning posted:Is it really being an rear end in a top hat if it’s your food anyway and he’s stealing it? He's doing something he'd otherwise rather not do just to spite someone else - "I only started getting it to give him the finger" - and because he's a greedy bugger who won't share a couple of chips. That's definitely an arsehole-ish move.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:04
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AITA for refusing to buy my pregnant wife alcohol?quote:I live in the countryside with my beautiful wife, she is expecting our first baby in a few weeks and the hormones are definitely kicking in. She is grouchy and not in a great mood but I fully support her and try and make her life as good as possible. I am cool and calm about this, my wife is dumb and so goddamn crazy!
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Mar 10, 2020 17:05
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I'm on bacon fry's side. Unless, yeah, food stealer is like very poor or whatever and can't afford their own food. In which case each friend could chip in 50 cents and buy the kid lunch.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:06
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The jackass swiping fries and other food from other people at the table is doing it as a power play and the other idiots saying, "How dare you put bacon on your fries?!?" are too meek to tell said jackass to gently caress off.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:06
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Niric posted:. There’s a difference between sharing if someone asks or if you offer, and having someone constantly just taking food off your plate. The whole thing kind of feels like the food his friends buy is “his” in some capacity, like how he jumped to “what the hell” about the bacon before he knew anything else about it. For all he knew his buddy just wanted bacon that day but he went straight to taking it as an affront.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:06
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It feels like a thing that could have been solved with communication but they're teenagers so whatever. It's about as dickish as swiping a few fries from your friends explicitly as 'a dominance thing'.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:07
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How the gently caress is someone the rear end in a top hat for not wanting their food grabbed off their plate without permission? And if op is to be believed it’s not because this dude is starving, he feels entitled to everyone else’s food. What the gently caress, thread. Ed. Okay, specific poster in thread, thankfully most of you seem rational about this.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:08
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Kitchner posted:I'm actually going to suggest that they were sexually abused and they have repressed the memory. Turns out I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and therapy + medication made an enormous difference.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:08
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"I really don't want my baby to end up with fetal alcohol syndrome but let me check with Reddit first"
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Mar 10, 2020 17:08
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Niric posted:
don't take people's food man
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Mar 10, 2020 17:08
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Why does it have to be a "dominance thing" if a guy keeps taking your food? Dude could just be rude and not give a poo poo about boundaries like "Don't take people's food."
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Mar 10, 2020 17:09
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Bobulus posted:Personally, I'd want to know if there's a reason he keeps swiping everyone's food. Is his family less well off and he's not getting enough to eat? Is he just a lazy rear end in a top hat? The fact that the friends sided with him makes me think it might be the former. If someone says they are ok they are saying they don’t want any food from you so you can’t give them any. But like to scheme on some poo poo that goes against what you actively saying, like you’re loving yourself up dude. It’s simple math you never save money in the long run stealing food because people will stop letting you use the fridge. 
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Mar 10, 2020 17:10
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chitoryu12 posted:Why does it have to be a "dominance thing" if a guy keeps taking your food? Dude could just be rude and not give a poo poo about boundaries like "Don't take people's food." It's like an extremely mild version of play stupid games win stupid prizes so it's a cute post for this thread, lmao.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:11
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chitoryu12 posted:Why does it have to be a "dominance thing" if a guy keeps taking your food? Dude could just be rude and not give a poo poo about boundaries like "Don't take people's food." Because they’re in high school and high school kids love to find ways to flex on each other.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:11
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food etiquette don't mean poo poo on the streets
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Mar 10, 2020 17:15
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Honestly it sounds like the kind of thing one of my friends would have done to be 'quirky' because there is a certain age range where you're still figuring out poo poo.
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Mar 10, 2020 17:15
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