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part two of our red alert wrapup begins either in an hour or a couple hours depending but we ARE finishing tonight come hell or high water or psychic schoolgirl murdersprees
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Mar 14, 2020 02:42
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 06:43 |
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 So in political news, this dude is super thrilled that the soviet government has finally been dismantled because now their hungry populace can finally sate their thirst for capitalism. Burger kong for everyone! He also mumbles a bit about the possibility of a russian underground resistance movement. But surely nothing like that could possibly be- Oh. 
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Mar 14, 2020 03:27
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Once more the women of red alert continue prosecuting these wars long after all the men are bored and satisfied with their blood and treasure. Russian lady wants to tell us that the resistance movement is actually in full swing and now that the commander has joined with their cause they are definitely unstoppable.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:28
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Just one problem. All the soviet scientists have done gotten picked up by the allies and taken to a mystery facility, here Someone who knows more about how world war 2 redrew the borders of europe and africa tell me if EA has thought about this map at all and if any of these countries are even possible given the totally hosed up timeline.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:31
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 Future Tech is the private corporation that was doing all that bad stuff to Yuriko Omega for the empire of the rising sun! They are gettin' protested.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:36
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 This lady says that people also protested the chronosphere much like they are now protesting the Futuretech brand "Sigma Harmonizer" and that frankly my dear she just can't give a drat.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:37
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 EU president guy is gonna give futuretech a trillion dollars to do with whatever the gently caress they want. His basis for this is that futuretech has improved the lives of everyday people. He then checks his watch like something about the time is making him uncomfortable.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:40
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"If we can't trust futuretech... who can we trust!" And he drives away on a golfcart.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:41
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The soviets are not pleased with all of this capitalism.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:41
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Futuretech is who kidnapped all the soviet scientists! Those pricks!
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Mar 14, 2020 03:42
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The soviets find a futuretech facility full of their scientists in north russia and they burn it to the ground.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:42
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 Rupert gets his feet put to the fire regarding why the hell Futuretech was doing research in a secret soviet base in the rear end end of nowhere russia.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:43
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He'd much rather focus on tracking down the terrorists and he says that he is 100% sure that futuretech is doing good stuff but that none of the good stuff can possibly happen if the researchers are afraid for their lives.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:44
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 The soviets meanwhile have tracked down another futuretech base, this one so hidden even the Allies don't know about it.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:46
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The soviet commander blows it up nicely. Then the Soviets turn their eyes to where Futuretech is building their Sigma Harmonizer. Once more the soviet commander is deployed to gently caress poo poo up.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:47
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 In a stunning moment of passing the buck Futuretech blames Rupert Thorne for going nuts and trying to activate the Sigma Harmonizer. They accept no blame for building a massive superweapon.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:48
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"Futuretech is committed to prosperity. And the public good. And we look forward to building a better tomorrow." The allies for their part are forced to thank the soviet resistance for bravely destroying the Sigma Harmonizer. The soviets manage to finagle that into an agreement in which the Allies will leave soviet occupied territory and will allow the Soviets to once more police themselves. Entire mountains of uneaten burger kong burgers are left abandoned in soviet ports to be collected and burned!
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Mar 14, 2020 03:51
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 A free soviet is a happy soviet as it turns out. Well done commander.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:52
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So now we jump perspectives over to the Empire of the Rising Sun. Sulu's son, Tatsu, is now in charge of the nation. He is cooperating with the Allies but only as a front for his own efforts to rebuild. Boy where have I heard that before.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:57
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 Tatsu says that the Allies do not understand how deeply the empire honors its traditions. For example the tradition of giant stompy robots or robots who look like they have a stick shoved up their rear end.
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Mar 14, 2020 03:58
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For their own part the empire is battling soviet encroachments on their territory. The soviets have been very busy since the allies left with their tail between their legs!
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Mar 14, 2020 03:59
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The empire of the rising sun pushes the soviets back and even moreso they push into soviet held territory so as to control the pacific ocean.
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Mar 14, 2020 04:00
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That's basically all the empire of the rising sun does, now we jump over to the allied perspective. Tatsu is working very closely with them to put down rebels within the empire of the rising sun, but really he is just consolidating power. Basically the allied commander takes out three big named generals of the empire of the rising sun and then Tatsu decides it's time to make his move.
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Mar 14, 2020 04:01
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 This ladies scottish accent really has gotten better! By the way this is our 200th screenshot
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Mar 14, 2020 04:03
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Unfortunately for Tatsu he really isn't very good at this war business and he gets his rear end handed to him. The allies manage to once more maintain law and order in the empire of the rising sun by deposing their rightful emperor. Again.
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Mar 14, 2020 04:04
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So..... Good end I guess? Wait what's going on. Why are things still happening-  What the hell? Futuretech? What is this?
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Mar 14, 2020 04:05
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Futuretech lady says that they've been acquiring construction vehicles from the three world powers. That the three big powers are so bogged down in these border disputes that they have no idea futuretech is even coming for them!
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Mar 14, 2020 04:06
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She sends out the Futuretech commander to go start claiming some territory for the new masters of the red alert universe.... filthy loving corporations! Nationalism is dead! long live globalism!
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Mar 14, 2020 04:07
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Long live corporate profits for the futuretech shareholders!
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Mar 14, 2020 04:07
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 Futuretech lady compliments the commander on an asskicking well delivered and then heavily implies that the long game here is some kind of device that could go FORWARD in time instead of backwards! "Imagine what we could accomplish, imagine the possibilities.... in the future" *as she says in the future the actress wiggles her eyebrows so hard you expect them to fly off her face because they really really want you to get this implication*
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Mar 14, 2020 04:09
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And that really is it! Other than a little bonus scene where you kick rear end at a bunch of challenges and Ric Flair tells you that you kicked his rear end. That's the end of Red Alert. Canonically. EA sucks because they only make half a game and then expect you to buy a sequel they might not even make to try and make sense of the plotlines they only ever half bother writing.
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Mar 14, 2020 04:11
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Reminds me a lot of how Disney made the sequels to star wars actually. Whatever the gently caress that is.
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Mar 14, 2020 04:13
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reignofevil posted:Just one problem. All the soviet scientists have done gotten picked up by the allies and taken to a mystery facility, here It's literally just the real world country outlines. What the gently caress.
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Mar 14, 2020 05:16
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stalin would have never violated the territorial integrity of glorious moldova.
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Mar 14, 2020 20:49
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This continues to be the best thread on the forums atm, bring on da curry.
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Mar 15, 2020 02:39
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Well, now that Remastered is close to coming out I guess you can start redoing all your old posts with swank new graphics and whatever possible retcons they sneak in to prep for C&C 5
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Mar 15, 2020 03:58
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Much like Windows going from 8 to 10, C&C goes from 3 to 5
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Mar 15, 2020 04:02
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The thing is with alternate history is that it's a rabbit hole you'll never come out of if you think too much and very likely run into some political fault lines.
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Mar 15, 2020 04:40
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Ghost Leviathan posted:The thing is with alternate history is that it's a rabbit hole you'll never come out of if you think too much and very likely run into some political fault lines. 
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Mar 15, 2020 10:39
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 06:43 |
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The man made it to through 11 books to 1945 based on the premise “what if a rebel was better at picking up trash before Antietam?” Show some respect
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Mar 15, 2020 13:16
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