r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

Dramatika: Aug 1, 2002; THE BANK IS OPEN

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I [24m] have been dating a very cool girl [27f] for about 3 months. I went to her club beach volley ball game and she screamed and cursed at teammate, refs, other team. Is this a red flag or just competitive spirit?

quote:

She is ordinally very sweet to me, and other than some "joy" she got out of firing an employee a few weeks ago, the volley ball outburst was totally out of character or her.

Being competitive is one thing, but taking joy in firing someone is, at least 99% of the time, a massive red flag, jesus christ." Man, today was great, someone who reported to me can't pay bills any more and is going into a pandemic with no insurance!"

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:24

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# ? May 21, 2024 00:44

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/aita_reddit/status/1241466924422303745?s=21

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:26

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Dramatika posted:

Being competitive is one thing, but taking joy in firing someone is, at least 99% of the time, a massive red flag, jesus christ." Man, today was great, someone who reported to me can't pay bills any more and is going into a pandemic with no insurance!"

Devil's advocate maybe the employee was a racist/bully/sex pest, but combined with the horrible behaviour playing sports the flags are getting redder

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:33

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Fatkraken posted:

Devil's advocate maybe the employee was a racist/bully/sex pest, but combined with the horrible behaviour playing sports the flags are getting redder

I dunno, even if the employee was a racist sex pest who was taking shits in the potted plants, I feel like "joy" is never a great reaction to a firing. Relief, maybe?

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:35

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

chitoryu12 posted:

https://twitter.com/aita_reddit/status/1241466924422303745?s=21

NTA. And you should take a hard look at your "friends" as well.

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:40

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Licarn posted:

They didn't get insurance because they've never had an accident before

And his explanation makes even less sense when you note that he apparently lets others drive his car so it�s not just all on his totally perfect and flawless (YMMV) driving.

I mean, it�d be absurd even so, but at least he�d be consistent in his foolish overconfidence if nobody else ever touched the gas pedal.

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:44

Dramatika: Aug 1, 2002; THE BANK IS OPEN

Fatkraken posted:

Devil's advocate maybe the employee was a racist/bully/sex pest, but combined with the horrible behaviour playing sports the flags are getting redder

I've had to fire someone, who I already disliked, (from a restaurant) for assaulting another employee in the kitchen, and it STILL felt lovely as hell. Firing people sucks, even when it's someone you don't like and they've definitively earned it.

e; Dug up the thread.

quote:

I know the employee was a pretty big screw up (constantly late to work, messed up customers orders and actually lost a dog on an install job) so I get it but she said something about being happy he couldn't contribute to his kids college funds and child support. It just seemed a little too excited for what was happening in the bigger picture.

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:48

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I [24m] have been dating a very cool girl [27f] for about 3 months. I went to her club beach volley ball game and she screamed and cursed at teammate, refs, other team. Is this a red flag or just competitive spirit?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXb0zcEM-rI

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:49

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for walking out of my son�s therapy appointment after him and his therapist blamed me for his homophobia?

if the son isn't being an rear end in a top hat homophobe because he's bitter over his parents divorce, then... he's just an rear end in a top hat, and the remedy is to persuade/punish an angry teenage boy into not being an rear end in a top hat anymore? i'm not sure OP gets the point of therapy

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:51

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Dramatika posted:

e; Dug up the thread.

"Lost a dog on an install job" I know that probably means left the door open and it got out, but I can't help but imagine something more bizarre. A muffled yipping comes from behind the TV set as the guy stands there "I know there was a dog here a second ago..."

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:54

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for walking out of my son�s therapy appointment after him and his therapist blamed me for his homophobia?

So at no point in the actual post does it say the therapist agreed with the son or blamed her for his homophobia. Just sounds like they let the kid talk about his feelings and point of view, however stupid they may be. I'm sure that hurts for her to hear, but it sounds like she expected the therapist to just be like "Wrong!" and immediately cut him off, so I'm not sure she actually understands what therapy is.

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:58

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

wizardofloneliness posted:

So at no point in the actual post does it say the therapist agreed with the son or blamed her for his homophobia. Just sounds like they let the kid talk about his feelings and point of view, however stupid they may be. I'm sure that hurts for her to hear, but it sounds like she expected the therapist to just be like "Wrong!" and immediately cut him off, so I'm not sure she actually understands what therapy is.

She probably agrees with the son on some level and just went defensive about it

# ? Mar 21, 2020 23:59

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

wizardofloneliness posted:

So at no point in the actual post does it say the therapist agreed with the son or blamed her for his homophobia. Just sounds like they let the kid talk about his feelings and point of view, however stupid they may be. I'm sure that hurts for her to hear, but it sounds like she expected the therapist to just be like "Wrong!" and immediately cut him off, so I'm not sure she actually understands what therapy is.

A distressingly common perception of group therapy is "my perspective will be vindicated by a professional and I will vanquish all opposition in the boss fight arena of arguments".

# ? Mar 22, 2020 00:07

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

chitoryu12 posted:

https://twitter.com/aita_reddit/status/1241466924422303745?s=21

Not only should your cousin go and get hosed for ever she should get the roni and watch her parents die to a disease she gave them.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 00:13

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I [24m] have been dating a very cool girl [27f] for about 3 months. I went to her club beach volley ball game and she screamed and cursed at teammate, refs, other team. Is this a red flag or just competitive spirit?

There's no way this won't manifest in every other area of the relationship. Run.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 00:17

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

McSpanky posted:

A distressingly common perception of group therapy is "my perspective will be vindicated by a professional and I will vanquish all opposition in the boss fight arena of arguments".

That's exactly what happened. She didn't see the therapist immediately and aggressively condemn her son for his homophobic words and she made a scene and walked out.

Even her comment says "The therapist did not shut his statement down and asked him to explain it"

Her son's mental and emotional health is secondary to her experience of coming out as gay. Everything is framed in terms of her and her sexuality, not one word about his feelings.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 00:38

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Inceltown posted:

Not only should your cousin go and get hosed for ever she should get the roni and watch her parents die to a disease she gave them.

OP with the lung problem and diabetes is the one who will die in reality, though.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 00:44

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

I haven't seen a lot of stories like that one, but I assume parents booking a therapist for the express purpose of telling their kids their feelings are invalid and should be shut down is a depressingly common situation.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 01:14

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

chitoryu12 posted:

https://twitter.com/aita_reddit/status/1241466924422303745?s=21

Murder the cousin. The equipment and medication she destroyed would equal a quarter of a million dollars in value, easy, especially with oxygen treatments.

Actually sue her family to get the money back.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 01:47

Ardemia: Jan 2, 2004; IT IS MY RIGHT TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL WHEN I'VE PUT BACK SIX SHIRLEY TEMPLES OK

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting my parent�s old car after they totaled my own car?

Depending on the state/country, this could have been filed against the mom's insurance, and would have been a nonissue other than her premiums going up.

Otherwise honestly I would sever if I was them, that shows a total lack of giving a gently caress about your children in several ways.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 01:50

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Ardemia posted:

Depending on the state/country, this could have been filed against the mom's insurance, and would have been a nonissue other than her premiums going up.

Otherwise honestly I would sever if I was them, that shows a total lack of giving a gently caress about your children in several ways.

They're on the same policy.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 02:02

Mister Olympus: Oct 31, 2011; Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies

https://twitter.com/huaslians/status/1241478437417545728?s=20

someone needs to make this into a movie

# ? Mar 22, 2020 02:11

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Does anyone else read the thread title in the cadence of the oompa-loompa song? My brain just automatically does it, and then I need to try filling in the rhyme. Like

code:

Oompa-loompa body-rear end bitch
Tried to throw shade, got buried in a ditch

# ? Mar 22, 2020 02:11

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Does anyone not?

I can't scroll past the thread without pausing for a beat to read it the proper cadence. I'm starting to worry that it's giving me prodromal schizophrenia.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 02:22

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

im permabanned poster oompaloompastomper58,

# ? Mar 22, 2020 02:46

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

spacetoaster posted:

There's no way this won't manifest in every other area of the relationship. Run.

This reminds me of my ex. She was always rude to waitstaff and stuff like that because she was adventurous and into a lot of active stuff I put the blinders on, because by the time I broke up with her she was invested enough to go full crazy and try to follow me in my apartment after work, kick and scream at my door, and call my friends.

Still sends me emails from time to time about how she�s �forgiven� me.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 03:02

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Mister Olympus posted:

https://twitter.com/huaslians/status/1241478437417545728?s=20

someone needs to make this into a movie

I would watch this movie and cry like a baby when they finally cut through the poo poo and just talk to each other.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 03:08

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

SpaceSDoorGunner posted:

This reminds me of my ex. She was always rude to waitstaff and stuff like that because she was adventurous and into a lot of active stuff I put the blinders on, because by the time I broke up with her she was invested enough to go full crazy and try to follow me in my apartment after work, kick and scream at my door, and call my friends.

Still sends me emails from time to time about how she�s �forgiven� me.

There's a reason some variant of "don't look at how they treat you, look at how they treat the staff" has been around for at least a hundred years.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 03:11

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Mister Olympus posted:

https://twitter.com/huaslians/status/1241478437417545728?s=20

someone needs to make this into a movie

Anyone else have issue with these opening?

# ? Mar 22, 2020 03:32

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for asking my brother to not have a switch while he lives with me?

quote:

I (29f) live with my wife (31f) and 2 kids (8f and 10m). My brother (20m) is staying with us for a few months as our mother, who he lived with, passed away recently and he doesn't have the resources to live alone. He's not paying any rent/bills/food/expenses because the idea of him living with us is he's saving up to move in with his girlfriend so he needs a few months of just saving before he can afford to move out.

Today he said he was going out, and to make conversation I asked where. He says he's going to game (the shop) and he's planning on buying a switch so he and his girlfriend can try it out, and asked if he can have the living room TV (the smart TV) to try it out on because his TV is already hooked up to his playstation and he doesn't want to faff about with switching the consoles over. Herein lies the problem.

He already has a playstation set up in the guest room (where he's currently staying) and when my kids, who don't have a console, saw it they immediately asked to play with him. He said no because they were too young, which was fine because it is his console and my wife and I don't particularly want them playing videogames all day anyway, but I had a full day of the kids pouting when it happened and they've been asking me and my wife to get them one fairly regularly since this. We've not changed our answer but they keep asking because they see/hear their uncle playing on his whenever they go by his room.

My brother getting a switch and then setting it up in the living room at a time that they aren't in school and are looking for distractions is the exact opposite of ideal, as both him and me don't want the kids using his video game consoles (for different reasons but still). I said "if you have to get a switch can you please use it in your room? I don't want the kids seeing it". He then said that he really wanted to use the smart TV in the living room.

It was at this stage I said "look, could you just not get it? Focus on saving to move out then get it once you have your own place." He then got upset with me and said it was just to keep him entertained and he wanted to get it, and then told me to stop "mothering" him and "policing" his spending, he's an adult and he'll spend his money how he wants before storming out.

He's come back with his switch, set it up, and started using it in the living room. The kids asked my brother if they could use it and when he said no my daughter got mopey, which I shut down, but after putting the kids to bed my brother complained to me about my daughter's moping and I said "what did you expect? I told you not to get it." He then tells me my kids and I are "entitled" because they asked to use his switch, and I've got no right to be annoyed at him for spending his money how he wants, and tells me that mum was going to buy him one right before she passed and layed on the guilt thick with that part. I now feel guilty and am second guessing myself.

Was I the arse? Because I didn't think I was at first but now am less sure.

Info: He reckons he has enough money to move now but with everything going on his plans have been delayed, plus he's expected to get almost all of mum's money (a lot of money) and possibly her house when they're done with the will so even if worst case scenario he has burned through his money already when he gets the inheritance he's getting his own place. It's possible this is all to do with mum's death but he won't talk to me about mum because mum and I haven't spoken since I came out, and I was a teenager at the time (16 or 17).

Also I told my kids they couldn't use his console because it's his console and he bought it and doesn't want them using it, and reminded them that they're not allowed to play video games regularly anyway (they're just too young, I'm willing to revisit this in a couple years or so and for now the oldest has a phone and they have a shared tablet to play games on), but telling an 8 year old no to playing a game when it's in the guest room and she can't see it without going in is one thing, telling her no when he's playing it on the only TV my kids have is another. She pouted a bit, got a little mopey, and I told her to buck up, but she's 8 so of course she wants to play Mario with her uncle.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:13

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

What kind of tv does he have where he can�t have two hdmi cables plugged into it lol. Is he using RCA cables?? What a weird dickhead. He�s gonna bring home an Xbox next and set it up in the OPs bedroom tv

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:24

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for asking my brother to not have a switch while he lives with me?

It's a loving portable console. Rip the base out of the TV, throw it in his room and tell him to gently caress off with that poo poo.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:31

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

quote:

He then tells me my kids and I are "entitled" because they asked to use his switch

Says the guy who feels entitled to use his sister's TV without permission.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:43

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for asking my brother to not have a switch while he lives with me?
He told me he's an adult and he'll spend his money how he wants before storming out.

I like how he claims to be an adult immediately before angrily storming out in a temper tantrum because he can�t use the good TV to play Nintendo. Definitely proving your maturity and adulthood right there buddy.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:44

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

MagusofStars posted:

I like how he claims to be an adult immediately before angrily storming out in a temper tantrum because he can�t use the good TV to play Nintendo. Definitely proving your maturity and adulthood right there buddy.

Has anyone ever actually meant "Hey I'm saving up to move out so I can't pay any bills at all"?

It seems a little weird, especially if they need to "save up" for a few months and then are expecting to suddenly pay all the adult bills like rent, food, and electricity on their own but are dropping $$$ on expensive luxuries.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:48

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

pentyne posted:

Has anyone ever actually meant "Hey I'm saving up to move out so I can't pay any bills at all"?

It seems a little weird, especially if they need to "save up" for a few months and then are expecting to suddenly pay all the adult bills like rent, food, and electricity on their own.

I mean it can make sense if they're saving for a deposit. But like 90% of the time its an excuse to mooch

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:49

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for asking my brother to not have a switch while he lives with me?

She�s letting her brother live rent free in her house and act like he owns the place, while he�s about to inherit everything from their homophobic mother who has almost certainly cut her out of the will

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:50

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

pentyne posted:

Has anyone ever actually meant "Hey I'm saving up to move out so I can't pay any bills at all"?

It seems a little weird, especially if they need to "save up" for a few months and then are expecting to suddenly pay all the adult bills like rent, food, and electricity on their own.

Many places do require a first/last/deposit whammy that means you need a lot upfront even if the rent is a pretty manageable level of their income.

Other people moving out for the first time might need to save for furnishing their place.

And finally it's not entirely uncommon for some young people to save for a while so they can go straight to putting a big down payment on a house.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 04:52

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

ArbitraryC posted:

Many places do require a first/last/deposit whammy that means you need a lot upfront even if the rent is a pretty manageable level of their income.

I'm living on a tight budget right now because the short-term cost of moving to a cheaper place is more than I can manage. It's a fun gotcha.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 05:04

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# ? May 21, 2024 00:44

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for asking my ex to consider signing over rights to my wife?

quote:

My ex and I had 2 kids (8 and 6) who are the absolute best things that came out of my marriage. We separated when my second was born. We had pretty equal custody for the next two years, then I got an amazing job offer in another state. I was able to work out a plan with my ex where I had the kids for the school year and she got them for Christmas and the summer. She did not want to move, but she let me take the kids because there were much better education opportunities and housing options where I moved to.

This has been out plan for the last 4 years. My wife and I do pretty much all of the parental hard work like homework and discipline while my ex gets to take them on trips and treat them on breaks. It's tough, but I'm closer with the kids than she is. I also feel bad that my wife, who has raised both kids for almost their entire lives, and who has put in so much effort, gets no credit. She doesn't have any legal claim to the kids and if I died, she might never be able to see them again.

This has been bothering me for a while and I really want my wife to be able to legally adopt my children. She is their primary caretaker and does the majority of the hard work, and my kids love her and call her "mom." I very gently breached the idea with my ex that she sign over her parental rights to my wife. I told her we would still make custody agreements so she could see the kids in the summer and I would never cut them off from her, but she hasn't done the hard work of raising them like my wife has. My ex went nuts me like I've never seen before and accused me of parental alienation. She never once expressed interest in moving to where I am in the last 4 years, but now she's saying she's going to move to my state and use my request as evidence that I'm alienating the kids. When I told my wife, I thought she'd appreciate my gesture but she's mad at me too and says I was out of line. Was an I being an rear end in a top hat just by asking? I would have dropped it if she had just said no, but I wasn't expecting such a poo poo show.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 05:51

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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