Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

cda: Jan 2, 2010; by Hand Knit

*looking at a big gently caress off chart showing that republicans are much more likely than democrats to think covid is no big deal* Trump tolerates Fauci so this isnt a political thing

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:25

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# ? May 11, 2024 14:59

Jostiband: May 7, 2007

d0s posted:

I don't understand why the right is trying to kill their base which is mostly olds, fats, etc

Because what this virus is actually going to kill is poors

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:25

naem: May 29, 2011

Platystemon posted:

This is the Reddit thread.

For those unfamiliar with Reddit�s UI, most of the hilarious comments are collapsed by default and/or buried deep in comment chains.

how did this terrible site get so popular

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:25

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

d0s posted:

I don't understand why the right is trying to kill their base which is mostly olds, fats, etc

Read the article quoted two up from my last one. They had their own internal pollsters telling party members that they were loving up specifically because the party line was doing exactly that.
Their own people were telling them "You're killing your own base. Stop it."

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:25

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

naem posted:

how did this terrible site get so popular

<looks at typical VB style forums> "I'm not reading 37 pages of comments"
<spends 18 hours clicking and un-clicking massive comment chains, desperately trying to find that one that made him laugh the previous day>
<never finds it>

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:30

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Jostiband posted:

Because what this virus is actually going to kill is poors

Ouch.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:30

Family Values: Jun 26, 2007

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:

100k registered republicans getting un-registered aint gonna change no election results.

100k? LMAO optimist.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:31

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

d0s posted:

I don't understand why the right is trying to kill their base which is mostly olds, fats, etc

They were letting Trump take the lead, and Trump is a 'businessman' not a politician. Trump worries about CEOs and real estate developers, not voters.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:35

Desperado Bones: Aug 29, 2009; Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!

Hey guys, I just wanna say I hate people in my country -not boomers for everyone's surprise- who believe the coronavirus is fake news, a made up trick to control them and that using masks is useless while you are healthy while forgetting that you can catch that poo poo and not show symptoms for a while.

Oh yeah, it's also party time and they want to gather in beaches and drink beer because all the malls were closed down and the government is evil for trying to keep them alive.

I so loving angry because these assholes are gonna get sick and occupy a bed in a hospital and kill the health system. gently caress.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:37

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Methanar posted:

Unassisted, childbirth has about a 1-2% maternal mortality rate.

A lot of routine stuff is going to become real fatal real quick in a lot of places.

lol

youtubes got you covered my man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pOSNcEOaTI

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:49

DreadLlama: Jul 15, 2005; Not just for breakfast anymore

I like to take anecdotes off the internet and extrapolate them to conclusions that I have no business believing. With that in mind, this is a wikipedia article about the Oligodynamic effect. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oligodynamic_effect

quote:

The oligodynamic effect (from Greek oligos "few", and dynamis "force") is a biocidal effect of metals, especially heavy metals, that occurs even in low concentrations.

In modern times, the effect was observed by Karl Wilhelm von N�geli, although he did not identify the cause.[1] Scholarly texts from ancient India promoted the use of brass and silver in ritual cleansing practice as well as in consumption of food and drink. The ancient Indian medical text Sushruta Samhita promoted the use of specific metals in surgical procedures as a measure to prevent infection. Brass doorknobs and silverware both exhibit this effect to an extent.

I'm thinking that if you're the sort of person whose anxiety drives them to action -even when no action is prescribed- might want to try stuffing heavy metals in your T-shirt masks. Here is some copper mesh: https://www.homedepot.ca/product/bird-b-gone-copper-mesh-20-ft-6m-roll/1001323343

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:51

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

Gianthogweed posted:

I watched the first 10 minutes of this and it was literally just him trying to defend his argument that he was actually the true "inventor of email". At best he improved on Ray Tomlinson's invention in 1971 and was the first to call it EMAIL. But whatever, no one cares about that bullshit right now. It's infuriating that they wasted so much time on that. I skipped ahead and it sounds like all he's saying is "take vitamins it will reduce your chances of getting sick". Well duh. How long before he claims to be the inventor of vitamins?

indians have been trying to claim inventor credit on as much as they can grasp at for at least 5 years that ive noticed

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:53

stab: Feb 12, 2003; To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high

Desperado Bones posted:

Hey guys, I just wanna say I hate people in my country -not boomers for everyone's surprise- who believe the coronavirus is fake news, a made up trick to control them and that using masks is useless while you are healthy while forgetting that you can catch that poo poo and not show symptoms for a while.

Oh yeah, it's also party time and they want to gather in beaches and drink beer because all the malls were closed down and the government is evil for trying to keep them alive.

I so loving angry because these assholes are gonna get sick and occupy a bed in a hospital and kill the health system. gently caress.

Dont forget theyre also going to infect people who took the right precautions and theyre going to die for it

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:56

Nessa: Dec 15, 2008

Play posted:

Already tons of standard medical procedures have been delayed, altered, or made completely impossible by the situation at hospitals right now. I feel awful for anyone who has a surgery scheduled or is undergoing chemo or really receiving any other treatment which requires care in a hospital

My father was waiting to be wheeled into the operating room for his knee surgery when he was told it was cancelled. Now he has to wait until next year.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 03:56

nong: Apr 20, 2016; Never Forget
The Century Of National Humiliation.

Play posted:

You actually CAN create a more perfect environment to grow virus.... in a lab that's designed to grow virus

the lab isn't some magical place

to grow bacterial in magical lab conditions, you just have bacteria and feed it with specific nutrients and they will be happy and multiply, some bacteria grows best with media that's enriched with up to 5% of sheep blood
https://microbeonline.com/blood-agar-composition-preparation-uses-and-types-of-hemolysis/

now to grow a virus, you need a 'living cell' for the virus to infect and replicate in aka tissue cultures, most of these cells are not immortal and will die either a few or up to 100 generation, so you need to constantly replenish those cells

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3119930/

in that example, a bunch of virus including coronavirus from bats, pigs humans and rabbits are grown in baby hamster kidney or BHK cells, the cells themselves also need nutrients to grow so it's fed with Dulbecco Modified Eagle�s Medium or DME medium with a bit of added glucose

does all the ingredients sounds familiar? because they are all pretty much just imitation of the natural environment to try and grow the virus, it's done in a strict controlled condition for repeatability with outliers minimized

but guess what you can just use actual live tissues from those animals, especially if you are trying to mix virus from different cell lines (animals) with the wet market environment if you dont give a poo poo about repeatability

also there's a nature article that came out basically the lab grown conspiracy is dumb

with comments from another poster

quote:

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41591-020-0820-9

here read this if you are wondering exactly how bullshit the "it came from a lab" conspiracy is

for starters, if this virus was engineered they picked a trash candidate for their fuckery, the underlying function is poo poo for what the implied goal of such a hypothetical experiment would have been and anyone calling themselves a scientist would have started with something that actually loving worked decently

next, they found its grand daddy coronavirus in bats and then found its uncle coronavirus in illegally imported pangolins. If someone was using an illegal source of endangered loving pangolins as a loving virus test kitchen, they're dumb as poo poo because animal work in viruses uses a fuckload of animals and you aren't going to be poaching enough to sustain it nor would you get enough smuggled out undetected, nor would you provide a reliably consistent animal supply free of existing diseases that might gently caress with your program.

after that, they found the difference between the pangolin and bat viruses was the part that let the spiky bits bind to human cells so easily - not only is this the most mutable part of the virus, but exactly the part that would be most exposed to natural selection were it in, say, pangolins and constantly given access to human hosts.

they then went on to talk about the hypothetical of a laboratory accident, notably "what if this was being developed in a lab but escaped" but pointing out that had this been the case the hypothetical researchers had to have been loving around with nothing of use forever beforehand, publishing nothing of any intermediary science, and using dumb poo poo methods of developing samples which still would never have worked out because the virus as found in the wild clearly was influenced by natural selection - e.g. this thing kept getting thrown up against immune systems until something worked, then against another species until it worked, and then a random-rear end binding mutation made it stick to people.

The pangolin poo poo is really interesting because they point out that the bat virus is still the most similar to the roni overall, but there are specific chunks of the genome in the pangolin coronaviruses - namely the chunks governing the spiky bits - that bridge a good part of the gap. Natural selection works more like a rock in a stream than anything with agency but a good way of describing it is that they are fairly confident this passed through pangolins because the roni started in bats and picked up some key habits of highly successful viruses somewhere and the viruses they're finding in pangolins practices a good number of those key habits but not all of them - what they suggest happened was that it got into pangolins and kept testing door handles on the human immune system until it got supremely lucky. It's even likely it got a little lucky a few times before thanksgiving but because at the time it wasn't that great at making humans sick en masse nobody really noticed.

But yeah in order for this to have been doctored up in a lab they would have had to make decision after decision that defies any logical progress toward any conceivable goal aligned with the outcome to the point that xi almost certainly would have had them shot for wasting time and money loving around with nothing to show for it.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:01

Peachfart: Jan 21, 2017

Platystemon posted:

This is the Reddit thread.

For those unfamiliar with Reddit�s UI, most of the hilarious comments are collapsed by default and/or buried deep in comment chains.

Goons don't make Goons read Reddit.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:02

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

I'm sure someone has said this already but my current tinfoil hat conspiracy theory is the Trump admin has deliberately hosed up the response so America gets herd immunity first and can come out swinging before China grabs the bag.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:05

Tenzarin: Jul 24, 2007; .; Taco Defender

cda posted:

*looking at a big gently caress off chart showing that republicans are much more likely than democrats to think covid is no big deal* Trump tolerates Fauci so this isnt a political thing

I agree.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:05

d0s: Jun 28, 2004

gary oldmans diary posted:

indians have been trying to claim inventor credit on as much as they can grasp at for at least 5 years that ive noticed

weird I thought I was the only one that noticed this, it's also like they have something like those russian troll farms but thousands of people who flood comments about a thing claiming india did it a billion years ago or whatever

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:11

i am harry: Oct 14, 2003

Outrail posted:

I'm sure someone has said this already but my current tinfoil hat conspiracy theory is the Trump admin has deliberately hosed up the response so America gets herd immunity first and can come out swinging before China grabs the bag.

This isn�t so much conspiracy theory as belief in the trump admin�s incompetence, and trust that some stupid idea undoubtedly emerges.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:12

TescoBag: Dec 2, 2009; Oh god, not again.

Outrail posted:

I'm sure someone has said this already but my current tinfoil hat conspiracy theory is the Trump admin has deliberately hosed up the response so America gets herd immunity first and can come out swinging before China grabs the bag.

Genuinely if the curve isn't flattened significantly then deaths of 20,000,000 are a possibility in the states alone. The US will not come out swinging from that.

That is worst case however. You guys are currently heading for "Pretty bad" case.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:13

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

Outrail posted:

I'm sure someone has said this already but my current tinfoil hat conspiracy theory is the Trump admin has deliberately hosed up the response so America gets herd immunity first and can come out swinging before China grabs the bag.

There's definitely a large over-arching plan. That's why the President is urging people to just take whatever medications sound good.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:15

whose tuggin: Nov 6, 2009; by Hand Knit

Which color bandana over you mouth and nose means that you are a power bottom again?

Because I cannot afford to make that mistake for a 5th time

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:34

Desperado Bones: Aug 29, 2009; Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!

stab posted:

Dont forget theyre also going to infect people who took the right precautions and theyre going to die for it

This is the infuriating part.

We already had idiots who knew they were sick and still decided to be social butterflies and visit friends, go to night clubs and so on because "~*it's just a flu*~"

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:45

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

The Scientist posted:

Which color bandana over you mouth and nose means that you are a power bottom again?

Because I cannot afford to make that mistake for a 5th time

I should not have looked up a chart. :gonk:

Do NOT wear a furry bandana.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:47

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

AKA Pseudonym posted:

There's definitely a large over-arching plan. That's why the President is urging people to just take whatever medications sound good.

I said Trump admin. Trump himself is a loving moron.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 04:49

Brimstone Inquiry: Jan 21, 2007

So in Georgia the mayor of Tybee Island closed the beaches preemptively, and everyone thought that was a great idea; don't be like Florida, right?

Guess which fuckwit, in all his dim glory, made a shelter-in-place mandate that also overrides the mayor's orders, opening the beach?

https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/04/us/tybee-island-georgia-beaches-open/index.html

Oh but it's okay, Kemp took pictures of the beach! "Beachgoers are mostly locals and complying with social distancing orders".

Yes Kemp, they were. Because the barriers weren't taken down yet, and there were actual punishments for going on the beach before you decided to Trump it up. No one's going to voluntarily stay away from the beach; we saw this in Florida!

gently caress me i actually miss the time when the stupidest thing a georgia governor did was hold an outdoor public prayer vigil for rain

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:03

d0s: Jun 28, 2004

florida did the same thing, but with church, lmao

i am going to die

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:04

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Remember this very week when Kemp said he�d just learned about asymptomatic carriers?

Yeah if that were me I would be scrambling in an attempt to make up for my stunning fuckup.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:05

Bleusilences: Jun 23, 2004; Be careful for what you wish for.

AKA Pseudonym posted:

There's definitely a large over-arching plan. That's why the President is urging people to just take whatever medications sound good.

He is one of the moron that took fake it till you make it to heart, he just want to have good PR so he will sell forsythia(snake oil) even if it doesn't work. His main goal is just to look good, drat is the consequences.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:15

Animal-Mother: Feb 14, 2012; RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Is Lowtax healthy? If this site goes down, gently caress the rest of the internet.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:16

Spinz: Jan 7, 2020; I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread

Animal-Mother posted:

Is Lowtax healthy? If this site goes down, gently caress the rest of the internet.

True^^^

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:22

Dixville: Nov 4, 2008; I don't think!; Ham Wrangler

Animal-Mother posted:

Is Lowtax healthy? If this site goes down, gently caress the rest of the internet.

Well he just did a pretty wacky livestream. He didn't cough or anything so hopefully yes?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:22

Jostiband: May 7, 2007

Brimstone Inquiry posted:

So in Georgia the mayor of Tybee Island closed the beaches preemptively, and everyone thought that was a great idea; don't be like Florida, right?

Guess which fuckwit, in all his dim glory, made a shelter-in-place mandate that also overrides the mayor's orders, opening the beach?

https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/04/us/tybee-island-georgia-beaches-open/index.html

Oh but it's okay, Kemp took pictures of the beach! "Beachgoers are mostly locals and complying with social distancing orders".

Yes Kemp, they were. Because the barriers weren't taken down yet, and there were actual punishments for going on the beach before you decided to Trump it up. No one's going to voluntarily stay away from the beach; we saw this in Florida!

Tybee, as you know, means 'friendship'.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:28

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

https://mobile.twitter.com/dataeditor/status/1246583417266987009

:ohno:

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:36

Bleusilences: Jun 23, 2004; Be careful for what you wish for.

The Glumslinger posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/dataeditor/status/1246583417266987009

It's just a bad flu /s

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:40

BeanpolePeckerwood: May 4, 2004; I MAY LOOK LIKE SHIT BUT IM ALSO DUMB AS FUCK

Animal-Mother posted:

Is Lowtax healthy? If this site goes down, gently caress the rest of the internet.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:52

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

I don�t understand, Spain ignored the virus same as America, yet America is taking it even worse, why? Population density in NY?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:53

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

I don�t understand, Spain ignored the virus same as America, yet America is taking it even worse, why? Population density in NY?

Spain has a functional healthcare system and a population who dont live on unbridled spite is my guess, also are a significantly smaller country with less density.

Or could just be reporting metrics

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:55

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# ? May 11, 2024 14:59

whose tuggin: Nov 6, 2009; by Hand Knit

The Glumslinger posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/dataeditor/status/1246583417266987009

This is a moot point, as the Coronavirus is obviously extremely severe, but I'm deeply suspicious of NYC's crime occurrence statistics

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_New_York_City#Murders_by_year posted:

1990 2245 (highest)
2018 289 (lowest since 1949)

I'm supposed to believe that murders in 2018 were 12% of what they were in 1990 (the highest year on record)?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 05:58

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