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nut posted:Detective C. man, cumshoe, restrained you a table under a wiener laser or something: h-how did you know it was me? |
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Apr 18, 2020 17:29
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It's heavy - what is this? The uh...stuff that creams are made of. ---------------- |
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Apr 18, 2020 17:41
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*robert osborne hosting turner classic movies* and now for our feature presentation: Humphrey Buggart in The Cock-Tease Falcon
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Apr 18, 2020 17:55
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it was one of those weeks where i shoulda stood in bed. the only time the phone rang was when there were people angry about money i hadn't paid them yet. the astroglide man, carl's sextoys, poppers monthly even wanted to know if i ever planned on renewing my subscription. i was just about to call it quits on this whole cumshoe business when she walked in...
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Apr 19, 2020 03:41
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albany academy posted:Sex detectives are called cumshoes 
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Apr 20, 2020 00:16
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| Sending 30 bucks to my girlfriend's onlyfans so she'll text me back about dinner | |
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Apr 21, 2020 15:14
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Pomp posted:Sending 30 bucks to my girlfriend's onlyfans so she'll text me back about dinner debating whether or not to text her again, or reply to her tweet that said “eating good tonight 😍😍😍 w/ @BrianFucksN’Lifts” about bringing home leftovers |
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Apr 21, 2020 20:00
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 kale seitan
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Apr 21, 2020 23:26
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owlhawk911 posted:
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Apr 22, 2020 00:18
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a porn where the landlord has to suck the tenants dick for rent money |
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Apr 23, 2020 18:33
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*grabbing balls* yeah seize these means of production
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Apr 23, 2020 19:49
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Pornographers Contract Out Their Video Descriptions To Untreated Schizophrenics And It Kinda Ruins the Whole Deal For Me |
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Apr 24, 2020 09:23
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Reservoir Pawgs |
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Apr 24, 2020 14:43
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annie are you ok are you jealous of the carpet saw you lookin through the window you could tell I got new carpet annie |
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Apr 26, 2020 18:23
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a man walks into a bar |
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Apr 27, 2020 07:39
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tradjik posted:a man walks into a bar I'm hooked |
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Apr 27, 2020 07:47
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Reservoir Pawgs Reservoir POGs ---------------- |
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Apr 27, 2020 07:52
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Reservoir Pawgs I totally stole this joke and forgot that you did it first. Sorry sorry sorry sorry |
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Apr 27, 2020 08:14
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oh but seriously I posted:I totally stole this joke and forgot that you did it first. Sorry sorry sorry sorry Did you? I mean it's all good. I've definitely done the same without realizing. Something will pop in your head and you'll think it's an original idea, but later you realize you read it somewhere else. For all I know I saw it from someone else |
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Apr 27, 2020 09:56
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Historically, a fair amount of people's last names were based on their ancestral professions (thus smith, carpenter, etc) gaze into my iphone of the future as i predict last names of the 3000's hello my name is Daniel Buttsurgeon
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Apr 28, 2020 03:17
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my name is Shandy Uberdriver
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Apr 28, 2020 03:26
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Jim Budtenderson
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Apr 28, 2020 03:31
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Melon Musk. One of my ancestors was known for smelling strongly |
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Apr 28, 2020 03:35
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magic cactus posted:Historically, a fair amount of people's last names were based on their ancestral professions (thus smith, carpenter, etc) gaze into my iphone of the future as i predict last names of the 3000's I'm going to hyphenate my name after the wedding - please call me Cheryl Twitchstreamer-Instacart |
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Apr 28, 2020 05:55
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hello, i am jayden craftbrewer-premiumsnap
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Apr 28, 2020 06:32
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Bryce Computertoucher, at your service mlady
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Apr 28, 2020 07:49
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magic cactus posted:Historically, a fair amount of people's last names were based on their ancestral professions (thus smith, carpenter, etc) gaze into my iphone of the future as i predict last names of the 3000's post the thread op
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Apr 28, 2020 12:15
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Explosive Ghonnorhea
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Apr 28, 2020 13:29
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Jesus Handy Postmates |
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Apr 28, 2020 13:54
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Good evening my fellow Americans; this is President Jaksyn Kamgurl-Inflewensir
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Apr 28, 2020 17:21
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The Dariaist War Boy "Yeah, yeah... shiny & chrome. I get it already" |
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Apr 28, 2020 21:13
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Witness meh |
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Apr 28, 2020 21:14
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art project: mutoscope recreation of 'man getting hit by football'
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Apr 28, 2020 21:49
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tradjik posted:a man walks into a bar Should have looked where he was going! 
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Apr 29, 2020 01:51
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Bacon Taco posted:Good evening my fellow Americans; this is President Jaksyn Kamgurl-Inflewensir |
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Apr 29, 2020 21:36
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yoni morrison
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Apr 29, 2020 22:48
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yoni braxton
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Apr 29, 2020 22:48
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yoni romo’s you get an appetizer and a blooming onion comes but you ain’t supposed to eat it you’re supposed to sit on it and think of ur beauty in the universe
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Apr 29, 2020 22:49
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*grainy sound bite of alan watts* "and so, we must permit our minds to bloom in the garden of flavor, peeling away the layers of the self until we find only that small quiet voice asking, of course, the only question that one should ask, this question being of course something like the ur-question, or the ultimate question, repeating inside one's head like a stuck gramaphone record, quietly and persistently we find the voice saying "who are you, really?" and lo! It is at this moment that the layers of the onion come together, and we see that we in fact are both the bloom and the onion simultaneously. Then, and only then, I suspect, will true knowledge bloom and true and complete inner peace will, at last, be achieved."
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Apr 30, 2020 01:39
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a parallel universe where telegrams used the word gently caress instead of STOPmagic cactus posted:*grainy sound bite of alan watts* somebody needs to send this to that voice synthesis channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l99BISoxmcc&t=3s Gene Hackman Fan fucked around with this message at 12:10 on Apr 30, 2020 ---------------- |
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Apr 30, 2020 12:07
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