pentyne posted:

Did Rothfuss ever get on that cruiseship? Is he now banned from re entering the country for 2-4 weeks?

Marin Karin posted:

I genuinely forget this guy and Ernest Cline are different people. I always think, “Rothfuss’ poem about nerd porn was weird” before correcting myself

Marin Karin posted:

I genuinely forget this guy and Ernest Cline are different people. I always think, “Rothfuss’ poem about nerd porn was weird” before correcting myself

HIJK posted:

now he's free to spread plague!

the plague of not finishing your book!

Marin Karin posted:

I genuinely forget this guy and Ernest Cline are different people. I always think, “Rothfuss’ poem about nerd porn was weird” before correcting myself

PJOmega posted:

Wait, isn't the beat poetry nerd porn Rothfuss's? What did Ernest Cline write in the same vein?

I do get how they'd be confused. Both were insanely overhyped dreck writers who accurately focused in on their genre's demographic.

Ernest loving Cline posted:

Nerd Porn Auteur

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed gently caress bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to gently caress up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be gently caress films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a loving gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

ernie, please posted:

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

hallelujah posted:

Captain Hotbutt posted:

https://twitter.com/brianmaragos/status/1243734953663303681

Torrannor posted:

I made a startling discovery:

https://twitter.com/paolini/status/1253068581270683649

Is it only me, or does Paolini look like a younger Rothfuss? What is it with authors of bad fantasy and this specific hobo-look?

Malpais Legate posted:

A sliding scale of age using Paolini, Rothfart, and GURM for fantasy writers.

But what should we call it?

Torrannor posted:

I made a startling discovery:

https://twitter.com/paolini/status/1253068581270683649

Is it only me, or does Paolini look like a younger Rothfuss? What is it with authors of bad fantasy and this specific hobo-look?

Captain Hotbutt posted:

https://twitter.com/PatrickRothfuss/status/1243657754285428742

Solice Kirsk posted:

Remember when Rothfuss wrote several pages about how he Kvothe wouldn't do sex with a woman while he was high because that just ain't his bag. Truth serum actually makes him a better/cooler/more progressive dude.

Ccs posted:

Is the end of a season typically measured in depth and width?
Are river-smooth stones heavier than rough ones?
Are cut flowers patient?

TheGreatEvilKing posted:

In Tides of Numenera, which Rothfuss at least partially wrote, the main quest has you go back in time to unrape a woman. Later a mentor character asks if you considered the rapist's feelings.

This is glossing over the quest where if you help an incel stalk a woman the game, the game awards you actual compassion points.

Lastly, to end the quest for the companion Rothfuss is confirmed to have written, you and an adult companion need to submit to date rape by a creeper.

Rothfuss has a terrible track record of this poo poo is what I'm trying to say.

TheGreatEvilKing posted:

In Tides of Numenera, which Rothfuss at least partially wrote, the main quest has you go back in time to unrape a woman. Later a mentor character asks if you considered the rapist's feelings.

This is glossing over the quest where if you help an incel stalk a woman the game, the game awards you actual compassion points.

Lastly, to end the quest for the companion Rothfuss is confirmed to have written, you and an adult companion need to submit to date rape by a creeper.

Rothfuss has a terrible track record of this poo poo is what I'm trying to say.

TheGreatEvilKing posted:

In Tides of Numenera, which Rothfuss at least partially wrote, the main quest has you go back in time to unrape a woman. Later a mentor character asks if you considered the rapist's feelings.

This is glossing over the quest where if you help an incel stalk a woman the game, the game awards you actual compassion points.

Lastly, to end the quest for the companion Rothfuss is confirmed to have written, you and an adult companion need to submit to date rape by a creeper.

Rothfuss has a terrible track record of this poo poo is what I'm trying to say.

HIJK posted:

like many fantasy and scifi writers Rothfuss has a rape fantasy fetish

He and Laurell K Hamilton should collab