|
Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:Oh no, Stephanie Meyer is bleeding into this thread now. How far into this book are we? We're currently just past the halfway mark.
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2020 19:45
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:01 |
|
|
Kind of looking forward to being done with this one. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2020 02:03
|
|
|
Chapter 8: 007 is Bornquote:Bond had talking about the Seychelles. Now that he had dealt with the scandal of the Washington affair he could apparently relax and during these few days we had slipped into one of his inevitable routines. We would meet every evening after dinner. Sometimes he brought Honey with him, sometimes not. (To my surprise, the two of them appeared to be becoming quite a cosy couple. I wondered if Bond realized.) And then, without much prompting, he would begin to talk. He liked to have his bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon, and his cigarettes (I was relieved to see that he was off the de-nicotined Virginians and back on the Morlands Specials – one more good sign). He was becoming more precise and less self-conscious, particularly now that he began explaining how he made his prodigal's return to the Secret Service. It was an ironic story and he told it well.  I can't help but wonder if Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was on Pearson's mind as he wrote this. Wild Turkey was first bottled in 1942 and was a big favorite of Hunter S. Thompson at this time, remaining one of the relatively few common bourbons on the shelf to make a 101-proof version its flagship while everyone else reduced to 80 proof as the new standard. Thompson would later get off Wild Turkey and switch to Chivas Regal scotch. quote:I had not realized the role that Ian Fleming played in this. I knew, of course, that long after he left Naval Intelligence for journalism, Fleming had maintained his contacts with the secret-service world. What I didn't know was their extent, and how he acted as an unofficial talent scout for the department. I can see now that this would have been a role that suited him. He knew the top brass of the Secret Service personally, M. included, and the range of his acquaintanceship was quite phenomenal. He was a dedicated human catalyst, a great one for knowing exactly the right man for any job. This was one reason for his effortless success as a journalist – I can remember how he always knew the one key person for a story when he was writing his weekly column on the Sunday Times. He obviously used his talents in the same way for the Secret Service – particularly with Bond, although it must have taken all his skill and tact to organize. In real life, there are indeed theories on Fleming secretly continuing his work in intelligence (officially or otherwise) into the 1950s through his foreign newspaper work. quote:One of the most exclusive dining clubs in London is the so-called Twinsnakes Club. Fleming has mentioned it, much to the chagrin of some of its more straightlaced members. It meets once a year, generally at the Connaught Hotel, and consists of the most distinguished members, past and present, of the British Secret Service. They dine extremely well and, when the port is circulating, one of their members reads a paper. The standard is traditionally high. In the past their numbers have included Buchan and Charles Morgan, as well as the heads of the profession. The famous story of The Man Who Never Was originated with a paper which was read here. This year it was Fleming's turn. He chose for his subject, ‘The ideal agent – a study in character’. Fleming did some work on M to get him to let Washington bygones be bygones. M invites Bond to dinner at Blades. quote:‘I've had a word with him, and I think I've cleared up that misunderstanding over Washington. You have to make allowances you know. M.'s a Victorian. He was married – they were quite devoted – and ever since she died he's been faithful to her memory. Rather touching, but it means he's sometimes sensitive about sex and marriage.’ Okay, that passage can stay. It actually sounds like something from a Hunter S. Thompson book itself! quote:It was uncanny to be back at Blades. Since that evening when he lost £80 to Bunny Kendrick, Bond had allowed his membership to lapse. But Prizeman, the hall porter, remembered him, welcoming him back as if it had all been yesterday. M has clearly been briefed well on Bond's habits. While he wants to order the smoked salmon (as he would in Moonraker), he gets the feeling it wouldn't be appreciated after that crack, so he orders the steak and kidney pie that M does. quote:‘And how about a little wine? I'm sure you have some preference.’ Because Fleming hasn't filled Bond in on their current mission, M tells Bond about how much the world of espionage has changed with the onset of the Cold War. quote:‘It's an unpleasant fact of life that in our business we sometimes have to kill our enemies. The opposition makes no bones about it. I take it that you've heard of Smersh?’ This is likely a true description, considering Person's background working for Fleming on the Atticus column. quote:Bond told him of the 00 section. This is an interpretation of the Bond of Fleming's books, but one that tries to assign Bond's work to psychological damage. Fleming's Bond can't conceive of any other job he's good at, but that hardly meant he was a man who would just revert to useless alcoholism and exploitation if he wasn't a killer. quote:And so Bond finally rejoined the Secret Service. Thanks to M.'s interest he was earmarked from the start for service in the 00 section, but it was soon made clear to him that he had to earn this status. His record was impressive but he had to prove that he was still up to scratch. He also had to train in the most gruelling school for secret agents in the world. He had a lot to learn if he would catch up on the years that he had been away. But it was reassuring to be back. Once he had made the decision to return, he soon forgot his doubts, and, for the first time since the war, he had a sense of purpose and a job that he believed in. He also felt relieved at being back inside what Fleming called, ‘the warm womb of the Secret Service’. Loner though he was, Bond needed the security of an organization and a settled context for his life. As we should be aware, the Beretta he carried in the books was .25 caliber. I legitimately can't tell if this is one of Pearson's many factual mistakes or if he's rewriting Bond as carrying a .32 from the outset. I'm personally leaning toward the former, as the two .32 ACP Berettas on the market at the time (the M1917 and M1935) were much larger than the Beretta 418 from the novels. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1pJi0vY_IE quote:Bond's mind was tested, and then trained as well. The preliminary tests were frightening and meant to be: periods of solitude to check his breaking point, sessions of interrogation by the hardest experts in the game, and, finally, the so-called ‘torture chamber’ where for three days and nights a succession of cold, faceless men set out to break him. The purpose was to discover his ‘pain threshold’ and then fix his ‘co-efficient of resistance’. Both were extraordinarily high. Assuming 1950, that pay is about £57,100 to £72,200 per year. As with Fleming's portrayal, comfortably upper-middle-class while not outright rich. quote:Then and only then was he given his own permanent niche in ‘the Secret Service Vatican’ as he describes the Regent's Park Headquarters – a small, cream-painted fifth-floor office with a Grade V Civil Service dark brown carpet, a Grade IV Civil Service desk, and a shared secretary, the delectable Miss Una Trueblood. When Bond was given his official pass he felt that he had earned it.  That first visible black door on the left is Bond's flat. In reality it's a two-bedroom townhouse where one of John Pearson's friends lived at the time. In 2018 it went up for sale at £10,950,000. quote:He asked Aunt Charmian's advice – she was the one woman on whom he could rely for a disinterested opinion. She was all for it, ‘but who'll look after you?’ she said. As if this version of Bond would be doing anything but drinking whiskey and staring angrily out the window in his free time. quote:The kitchen was altogether homelier. Long and narrow, ‘like the galley of an expensive yacht’, it had been carefully planned by Bond, who took a secret pleasure in equipping it. There was a lot of stainless steel and fitted-cupboard space, an air extractor, a large Frigidaire, complete with deep-freeze cabinet, and an elaborate drinks cupboard. He took some trouble finding his dark blue and gold dinner service. It was Minton, and its simple opulence appealed to Bond. Once he had set up the kitchen Bond took great care telling May exactly how it was to run – ‘Breakfast is most important. I lunch at the office, and generally I dine out too. When I'm at home I'll eat some sort of snack, unless there's company. If there is I'll take care of that myself. Please make sure that there's always a supply of fresh unsalted Jersey butter, whole-wheat bread, smoked salmon, steak and caviare.’ With his training done, Bond is put on his first assignment. M tells him about an operative in Jamaica named Gutteridge, whose reports have been very odd. M suspects Gutteridge is an alcoholic, despite being a friend of his from the war, and wants Bond to investigate if his crazy reporting is because of that or if there's really something going on. Tanner gives Bond the files; he's not fond of Gutteridge, believing him to be a useless drunk who's only kept around because of his relationship with the chief. quote:That evening was one of those rare occasions when Bond ate at home, entirely alone. May seemed concerned when he announced that he would be quite happy with a tin of soup and scrambled eggs. Gutteridge's reports certainly seem nutty. His work mainly deals with Jamaican labor unions and concerns about communist infiltration. A lot of his information seems convincing...except one part. quote:But, at the same time, Gutteridge included details of a conspiracy whose major aim was his destruction. There was a so-called ‘Goddess Kull’ who cropped up on a number of occasions. He was none too coherent here, but she was described as ‘the incarnation of all evil’ and also as ‘the great destroyer’. She had her followers and Gutteridge seemed to think that they were after him. One report described how Kull's devotees were howling for him in the night. Bond arrives to Kingston in the evening. He arranged for his hotel to be switched at the last minute to Durban's and cables Gutteridge to meet him there. quote:Gutteridge was late. When he did stagger in, Bond could only wonder how he had survived so long. The once good-looking face was red and puffy, the well-cut suit was stained and baggy at the knees. Bond could not bear drunks, but there was something about Gutteridge that roused his sympathy. This was how secret-service life could burn you out: in Gutteridge he could almost see a mirror image of himself one day. When Gutteridge suggested they should have a drink, Bond agreed. He even forced himself to listen sympathetically as the man rambled on – about his money troubles and the wife who left him and the slights he had to bear from other British residents. Immediately summarizing what could otherwise be an interesting adventure, Gutteridge explains that the "Goddess Kull" is a creation of Gomez to take advantage of local superstitions. quote:‘But who is Kull?’ asked Bond. You know what? I think we could have gone without that reference. And no, this doesn't appear to be a real legend. quote:‘Elwin has written of it at length among the Assamese and there have been familiar studies from South America and New Guinea. The origin lies in the primitive male dread of the dominating female. But it invariably takes the form of a Goddess whose devouring genitals destroy her victims in the act of love.’ "No white folk would believe in such silly superstitions!" I say as people claim germ theory is fake and quarantines are communism. quote:‘You think so?’ said Gutteridge quietly. ‘I suggest that first thing tomorrow you call a man called Da Silva. Mention my name. He's one of the biggest merchants in Jamaica, and he's an educated man – Oxford, I think. Go and see him, and then ask him the same question.’ A few bits from this book actually ended up in the films. Silva would become the name of the extremely strange ex-MI6 villain played by Javier Bardem in Skyfall. quote:Da Silva's house lay at the far end of a drive of flowering casuarina. Almost despite himself Bond was impressed by so much luxury – the low white house, the shaded pool, the emerald lawns fragrant with hibiscus and bougainvillea. Da Silva suggested they should swim and afterwards, as they lay by the pool sipping iced daiquiris, he introduced Bond to his wife, a deep-bosomed, long-legged blonde from Maryland. For a while they chatted, about the current crop of tourists to the island, about New York and London and several friends they found they had in common. There was a faint pause in the conversation. Ah yes, the simple blacks who are so easily fooled... quote:‘This is a funny island. And remember that I've lived here all my life. Things happen here that no outsider would believe, and recently we've been collecting all the backwash of the political upheavals on the mainland. We're living on a knife-edge.’ I think that's one of the few completely fictional addresses here. quote:‘Charming,’ said Bond. ‘And where is Tarleton Street?’ Over coffee, Bond tells Gutteridge about his meeting with Da Silva. He says there's no way they can involve the police, as the Goddess Kull and her entourage will have disappeared. Instead, he brings Bond to a telescope he has looking at a house on the point. quote:‘Move it to the right,’ said Gutteridge. Despite being noon, Bond decides to do one of his first trademark dumb moves: swim right out into the bay up to the house to see what's up. quote:Bond paused, uncertain whether to risk going closer. Then, suddenly, one of the upstairs shutters opened. A man leaned out and started shouting and a few seconds later the doors onto the terrace were flung open too. Four or five men rushed out. Gomez was with them. They were shouting, and Gomez had a gun. "I'm sorry it turns out she was born with no tongue and also hates you, please leave immediately." quote:‘Not a great deal of use,’ said Bond to Gutteridge. He had walked back along the beach. ‘He wasn't having me inside the house, nor was he letting me near the girl. They whisked her inside very fast, and somehow I don't think we'll be seeing much of her.’ "Slouch as much as possible." quote:Bond hoped that he was right, especially when he found himself driving Da Silva's Chevrolet into Kingston late that Friday night. The police had been alerted now, and Gutteridge was working with them. But the whole plan depended upon Bond's being able to penetrate Gomez's defences without rousing his suspicions. It was essential now to find the Goddess Kull. Bond is abruptly grabbed and blindfolded. He's led downstairs into a tunnel before having it removed. quote:After the darkness, Bond's eyes blinked. There was an unimaginable scene before him. He was in a cellar with a high vaulted roof. It was lit by burning torches and at first sight Bond thought he was in some sort of church. More than a hundred men and women were standing before him like a congregation, and at the far end of the cellar was a raised platform with candles burning. The air was heavy with the scent of burning joss sticks and of marijuana. Along the platform was a row of skulls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8P_qjLhtA74 quote:‘Welcome,’ said a voice. Bond recognized the owner as the tall bearded negro he had seen with Gomez at the house on Montego Bay. He still wore his circular dark spectacles, but was now dressed in priestlike robes. I'm glad Fleming wasn't alive to see this dreck. quote:There was a hideous silence as Bond walked towards the Goddess. As he stepped across the platform he took off Da Silva's spectacles and revealed his full height. He and the girl recognized each other and the wall slid to behind him. Please just write normal books. quote:But Kull still lived. So did her followers. Bond could hear them chanting in a frenzy in the room outside as they waited for the sliding doors to open. This was the moment that they longed for – the moment they would witness the appalling sacrifice of one more victim to her lust. I am incredibly confused by the point of this plot. quote:At this point there was a great commotion at the rear of the hall. Gutteridge and several policemen from the Jamaican special branch had suddenly arrived – following the small homing ‘bleeper’ Bond had hidden in the heel of his shoe. Despite the sudden change of heart of Kull's worshippers, Bond was relieved to see them. Kull's reign was over. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Apr 30, 2020 |
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2020 08:20
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:Okay, that passage can stay. It actually sounds like something from a Hunter S. Thompson book itself! Pearson can manage some wonderful one-liners, but it's such a slog getting to them. chitoryu12 posted:Gutteridge's reports certainly seem nutty. His work mainly deals with Jamaican labor unions and concerns about communist infiltration. A lot of his information seems convincing...except one part. Is this supposed to be so incoherent because he's a boozer? Because I don't see what can be so incoherent and paranoid about "probable Communist agitators have set up a fake religion and are using it to menace and murder people including me." Also, what does the "obscene symbol of the vagina dentata" look like? Is it a toothy mouth turned sideways? Because that would be loving hilarious. chitoryu12 posted:I am incredibly confused by the point of this plot. A combination of "oh, dear me black people are so gullible" and "women are sexiest when they can't talk and quite possibly can't even comprehend what's going on"?
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2020 11:52
|
|
|
Runcible Cat posted:Also, what does the "obscene symbol of the vagina dentata" look like? Is it a toothy mouth turned sideways? Because that would be loving hilarious. That is almost definitely what it looks like.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2020 18:46
|
|
|
This is dire.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2020 23:21
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:A few bits from this book actually ended up in the films. Silva would become the name of the extremely strange ex-MI6 villain played by Javier Bardem in Skyfall. I can't believe the movies lifted stuff like this but haven't adapted the Giant Motherfucking Squid fight from Dr No yet
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2020 23:30
|
|
|
Chapter 9: Casinoquote:There was one point which I had been avoiding – Bond's relationship with M. The time had come to ask about it. Had M. really been, as Fleming wrote, the one man Bond had ‘loved, honoured and obeyed’? Fleming also likely incorporated a lot of his own relationship with his mother into the books. quote:‘Didn't you?’ In 1951, things were heating up. 008 found murdered in Berlin, 0011 disappeared in China, 003 crippled by a burning car in Belgrade quote:For M. these losses would have been acceptable had they been matched by firm achievements: these were lacking, and M. was jealously aware of the activities of those hard brains directing Smersh from their drab headquarters on the Sretenka Ulitsa. Smersh was a contraction of two Russian words meaning ‘Death to Spies’; for M. it had been living up to its forbidding name too well for comfort. Hardly any of the West's attempts to penetrate the security of the Soviet had worked. As was covered in the original thread, SMERSH was actually disbanded and absorbed back into the MGB in 1946. The fact that Pearson hasn't brought it up suggests that he likewise never knew this. quote:The British network inside Russia was something of a joke, whilst the two major secret war campaigns launched by the West in the last few months – against Albania and the Ukraine – had foundered ignominiously. M. was under pressure. He was directly accountable to the Prime Minister and, as one recent writer put it, that wily politician ‘was not disposed to be too impressed by the denizens of the secret-service world.’ Not surprisingly, the lines on M.'s weather-beaten face were rapidly becoming something of a battle-chart of the secret war. Fortunately he knew better than to lose heart at incidental setbacks. He knew that whilst in ordinary war it is the last battle that counts, in the secret war there could never be a final battle, only the ceaseless ebb and flow of murder and betrayal. M. had no illusions about the trade he followed. But it was a necessary trade. As long as he was in command, he would make certain it continued. Hey, we just came from there! quote:She groaned and said it was a good thing she wasn't envious by nature. Bond gallantly suggested she came with him; for just a moment it seemed as if that cool suburban blonde was tempted. The film For Your Eyes Only would likewise have a major scene involving diving in Greece. quote:Bond left next morning on the midday flight to Athens, taking some trouble to maintain the image of the easy-going pleasure-seeker. He wore an open-necked blue shirt, a lightweight linen jacket and read Ernie Bradford's Guide to the Greek Islands. In Athens he was already booked into the luxurious Mont-Parnes Hotel, and a car from the hotel was there to meet him. He made sure his luggage was in order before being driven off. The hotel overlooked the city; once he had checked in he relaxed, swam in the pool, and then enjoyed his first Martini of the day. It was nearly five before he changed and took the hotel bus down to the city. Circumstances, like Kingsley Amis writing this instead? quote:That evening, Andreas, like all Greeks everywhere, was late. Bond had already dined when he arrived with his neatly parcelled pile of books. Bond thanked him, offered him a drink, and they sat together on the hotel's splendid terrace drinking retsina and watching the lights of Athens shimmer up the valley. Andreas was a determined talker who enjoyed the chance of showing off his very personal command of English. It wasn't every day he was invited for a drink at a luxury hotel, and he was out to make the most of it. Finally Bond steered the conversation round to southern Greece and Andreas mentioned a small port. He described it lovingly – the market-place, the eighth-century Byzantine church, the beauty of the local girls. Andreas hinted that he was something of a connoisseur of indigenous Greek sex. Bond is such a square. quote:‘6,000 tons deadweight. A common looking coaster, I'm afraid. Registered in Alexandria. The captain is a Syrian called Demetrios. A good Greek name, Demetrios.’ He did what now quote:‘Officially, they must arrest the ship and then impound the cargo. That is our good Greek government policy. That's what our prime minister would tell your Foreign Office in London. But, between you and me, they act like your Lord Nelson. They put the glass eye to the telescope.’ God, why is he trying so hard to make us miss Amis? quote:It was not hard for Bond to find the Sappho. This was a small town and the docks were not extensive. The ship was exactly as Andreas described her, ungainly and rather rusty, flying an Egyptian flag. Nor had Bond much more difficulty making out her cargo. There were some packing cases stacked along the quay – crated machine guns always have a certain look. Do they? Military equipment is usually all in nearly identical crates. quote:Bond booked at the hotel Andreas had recommended. It was a cheerful place with several goats tethered in the courtyard, a one-eyed barman and a terrace set with ancient trellised vines. It overlooked the sea. With nightfall oil-lamps were lit and fireflies darted through the air. Bond ordered dinner, gingerly, and told the barman he was staying several days to try the underwater fishing. The next day, Bond avoids the awkwardness of sitting down again with his target. He learns from the barman when the Sappho is supposed to leave. quote:Bond had his instructions; they were not too difficult to follow. For the remainder of the day he rested, then got ready his equipment. Q department had done a clever job on the suitcase. With the linings of the top and bottom of the case removed, it was a simple task to screw together the two halves of the limpet mine. Bond set the timing apparatus as instructed – on a twenty-four-hour fuse. At dusk he set off from well along the coast, swimming out strongly on the evening tide. The sea was warm and faintly phosphorescent. He had the mine strapped firmly to his belly and he swam deeply, surfacing from time to time to take his bearings. The starlight seemed to filter through the waves, fish glided past and he swam on determinedly towards his quarry. He wondered if Demetrios were yet aboard. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuBFthJcBiA In For Your Eyes Only, a similar magnetic mine is used by Bond to gain the upper hand in a fight against one of the villain's divers while recovering the MacGuffin. quote:When Bond turned in towards the harbour only the keenest lookout would have seen the thin line of bubbles that he left behind him. The Sappho had no lookout; Bond decided it would be most effective to fix the mine amidships. It was easier than he expected. The strong magnet on the mine dragged it towards the hull; as it thudded home Bond remembered the same sensation from his training sessions on the lake in Canada during the war; he was sorry that this was no training session. Bond was back in the hotel before midnight. He asked the barman about Demetrios. Bond gets his debriefing and heads home that evening. Buying a newspaper before getting the Tube, he sees that there's already reports of the Sappho, a suspected gun-running ship delivering arms to EOKA terrorists in Cyprus, had mysteriously sunk with no survivors. quote:After the Greek affair Bond had been hoping for a real holiday, a rare opportunity to relax. Aunt Charmian had been unwell, and he had been planning to take her off for a few days in the South of France. Someone should write a book about this woman. quote:When they drove to Marseilles in search of low life, it was Bond whose pocket book was stolen in the market-place, and Aunt Charmian who, once again, paid for dinner. When Bond took her to visit one of the toughest, and most foul-mouthed, secret agents he had known in the war – a man called Reynard who had run an escape route over the Pyrenees and was now producing scent at Vence – Aunt Charmian scored her greatest success. She drank Pastis with him, spoke better French than Bond thought possible, and laughed at Reynard's most improper jokes. Bond felt a shade embarrassed until Reynard told him what a splendid aunt he had, loaded her up with more scent than she had used in her entire life and kissed her strenuously on both cheeks. Like Da Silva, Reynard here would lend his name to a Bond villain, that of Renard in The World is Not Enough. We have quite a ways to go, but that novelization is on our itinerary! quote:They still had another week to go when there was a call from London. Chief of Staff was on the line – appropriately apologetic. This crisis, of course, is the story of Casino Royale. His Romanian job in Monte Carlo has given him a reputation as the best gambler in the service, and secretly Bond is quite flattered by being treated as so indispensable as to be the "only man for the job." quote:In fact the so-called Casino Royale affair was in some ways Bond's favourite assignment, certainly at the beginning. His morale was high, his health and confidence impressive, and, once he Bond's explanation for why he was portrayed as falling so madly, deeply in love with Vesper so quickly is that he may have subconsciously known something was suspicious about her. Knowing that their relationship was doomed somehow made it all the more enticing. quote:I asked him how he really felt when he reported back to M. that Vesper Lynd had been a double agent, and then added that laconic epitaph, ‘the bitch is dead’. Yes, it would be nice to say it, because that's a much better character! Fleming wrote Bond as utilizing detachment and dissociation to hide from his true feelings, but still visiting Vesper's grave every year. He's not going to be "secretly relieved" that his romantic partner killed herself and he could get back to his middle class existence! You hack! quote:On his first morning back in Headquarters, Bond paid a brief routine visit up to M.'s office on the sixth floor. As usual, M. was fairly non-commital. Always wary of bestowing praise, he seemed concerned with Bond's damaged hand (the Russian killer had carved his trademark, a Russian S for Spion on the back of it). ‘Better make sure we get the plastic surgery fellows going on it,’ he remarked gruffly. ‘Can’t have a member of the 00 section with an identifying mark like that.’ But later in the day Bill Tanner informed Bond that ‘the old man's really very pleased with you. I had to listen to him singing your praises to Head of S,’ and, before Bond left the office, M.'s secretary, the formidable Miss Moneypenny, brought him a brief note recommending him for three weeks’ further leave at the end of August. Bond returns to work, getting what plastic surgery he can on his scarred hand and having an affair with the surgeon's receptionist. That November came the Live and Let Die case, which Pearson breezes over before the paragraph is out. £5 million in gold made it into British government coffers thanks to him. quote:‘I'm glad to know I'm paying for my keep,’ Bond said to M. when he heard the news, but M. was not particularly amused. When it suited him, M. could be very stuffy over money. It was not a subject to be discussed by gentlemen. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Feb 5, 2021 |
|
#
?
May 2, 2020 20:07
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:
His loving what?
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2020 07:48
|
|
|
Ichabod Sexbeast posted:His loving what? Yeah, he should switch to Evan Williams!
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2020 08:14
|
|
|
What is this I don't even
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2020 03:22
|
|
|
Chapter 10: Vendettaquote:‘I was becoming just a little over-confident,’ said Bond. ‘It's a real danger in our type of life. When you have the sort of lucky run that I'd had you tend to think it will go on for ever. This is one reason why old M. was always grudging in his praise. He wasn't quite as sour as Ian painted him, but he was worried, and quite rightly, that one would start getting what he used to call a “superman complex”.’ This Bond is way more sour than the one in Fleming's books! quote:Bond was explaining how it came about that just as the tide of real success seemed to have set in for him, he found himself facing a real catastrophe. Few people realize that during 1952, James Bond was nearly driven from the Secret Service for good. At this time, Bond has his "three married women" mentioned in Moonraker that he's got affairs with, all in their early to mid-30s. quote:‘For me this has always been the most attractive age in women. Naïve young girls, however pretty, soon bore me silly. They make such demands – on your time and on your patience – and they invariably have one fixed, romantic end in view. Marriage. Whereas with older women things are different. You get intelligence and understanding and a clearly defined relationship. That's most important. No entanglements. I always made sure that we understood each other perfectly. Right from the start I told them there was to be no question of threatening their marriage – rather the reverse. There was to be no jealousy or possessiveness either. We would be civilized and we would enjoy ourselves.’ *long, deep sigh* quote:At this period Bond's three married women were an impressive trio, and he went to great pains to ensure that none of them suspected the others’ existence. This was apparently quite a problem of logistics. One lived in Hertfordshire, was married to an aged merchant banker, and wrote historical romances. Bond used to meet her every Tuesday in his flat – when she had done her London shopping. The second was married to a prominent Conservative M.P. Bond saw her Thursdays – and whenever the House had an all-night sitting. The third one was Bond's ‘weekend woman’ as he called her. Bond knew her husband. He was a rich insurance broker and a member of Blades. The passion of his life was sailing – which he did from Friday night to Monday morning. As his wife loathed boats and was sea-sick, Bond really made it possible for him to continue his hobby – and his marriage.  Because the film adaptation of Casino Royale had a more involved plot that extended through future films, the role of Oborin was given to Mr. White, who would gradually be revealed as a high-ranking member of SPECTRE through one of its divisions, Quantum. He was played by Danish actor Jesper Christensen, who mostly acts in European films. quote:‘It looks as if my fears for you were justified, 007. I don't wish to alarm you, but we must be prepared. From a report we've just received it seems as if last summer's failure to destroy you caused a major incident in Smersh headquarters. Our old friend, Colonel General Grubozaboyschikov (M. pronounced the name with alarming fluency) ordered an inquiry and Oborin pleaded that there had been an administrative error. General G. was furious – I can understand how he felt – and at one point it looked as if Beria would be involved. Contrary to British practice, 007, a failed Smersh operator normally pays for failure with his life. But we now know for sure that Oborin is very much alive. I'd give a great deal to know why. I may be wrong, but it could be that Smersh is giving him one last chance to make good his mistake.’ I imagine Bond would never like reading about Sappho! quote:Back in London next day, Bond discussed this with the Chief of Staff, who, like Bond, was puzzled by the article. He had already seen the editor and warned him against carrying a big followup story. What disturbed the Chief of Staff was that somehow the paper had got hold of Bond's name and were all set to publish it, along with a photograph. In late autumn, M calls for Bond and is unusually subdued. He tells Bond that for the first time, he'll have the choice of whether or not to accept this mission. Station H in Finland received a message from a Colonel Botkin who wishes to defect; he claims that he met Bond in Berlin 2 years ago and will only surrender to him. He and M think it's Oborin, being given one last chance to correct the mistake he made. He lets Bond sleep on it, and Bond eventually accepts the challenge. quote:Bond enjoyed his first afternoon in Helsinki. He was expecting a drab icy little city. Instead he found that this whole portion of the eastern Baltic was enjoying its own version of an Indian summer. Birkin, the head of Station F, met him at the airport. He was a tall, much-decorated naval commander with a distinctly ghoulish sense of humour. He wore a monocle, a red cravat and sponge-bag trousers. So he's the most obvious man in the room in Finland? quote:‘Well, old chap,’ he said, ‘I trust you've packed your bulletproof pyjamas. Looks as if you'll need ’em.’ Kalakukko is popularly called "fish cock", and you can buy it canned from famed surplus store Varusteleka! Not merely a fish cake, it's fish baked in rye bread. quote:‘Before we finish off the schnapps,’ he said, ‘just tell me how I contact Colonel Botkin.’ Birkin took his time explaining the arrangements. In the process he chewed reindeer meat, and drank still more schnapps. The plan was basically quite simple. Bond was to go to Kotka, a seaport and the last big town before the Russian border. There he would take a motor-launch – Birkin explained, at length, the trouble he had taken getting it – and sail for a tiny island some ten miles from the frontier. The rendezvous was fixed for four o'clock next afternoon. Botkin would be there – and, if all went to plan, Bond would bring him back – ‘or vice versa,’ Birkin said. It was definitely the schnapps. quote:It was an impressive drive. Most of the way the road kept to the coast with views of pine woods, islands, and the pale blue sea. Birkin told him there were seven thousand islands between Stockholm and the Russian border.  Finland has a total of 178,947 islands if you include any size, 549 of which are permanently inhabited and have no mainland connection. quote:Kotka was reached by lunchtime. It was a small bright modern town clustering round a glass works and a mammoth paper mill. The air smelt resinous. It was a crisp autumn day; Bond felt revived. Birkin had screwed his monocle firmly into his eye and proudly showed James Bond the motor-launch that he had hired for him. The island is typical for these tiny Finnish islands: two small huts and a jetty surrounded by trees. The island seems totally uninhabited, though one of the huts is open and crudely furnished with simple furniture. quote:Time ticked by and no one came. Bond watched the sea for sign of Botkin's boat, then darkness fell. It started to get very cold. It was a temptation to move into the hut and wait. Bond resisted it. Instead he lit an oil-lamp, plumped up several cushions under the blankets to the rough shape of a sleeping man, then left the hut and hid up in the pine trees, gun in hand. It was the longest night of his life. The cold grew bitter, until his hand froze to the steel of his gun. A bell-buoy by the wreck tolled in the darkness. And all the time the light burned on in the deserted hut. Somehow Bond kept himself awake. That was abrupt! quote:Bond had an advantage from where he was and fired at them from the rear, trusting in darkness and confusion to mask his movements. There were shouts, several of the figures seemed to fall and Bond dodged between the trees keeping to the shadows, then staying very still. Some of the men had flashlights, but they soon realized that there was no point searching for him in the darkness. Somebody shouted from the hut, and the men with flashlights moved towards it. Maybe you should have brought backup. quote:It seemed like centuries later when he woke. He was in a small, white painted room lit by a steel grille light screwed to the ceiling. There were no windows. The floor was iron. There was a steel bulkhead door. Bond tried it. It was firmly shut. The Soviets have converted the hulk of the Lublin into an underwater outpost, serviced via submarine. One is on its way to pick up Bond, but Oborin has no intention of following orders. He has a personal stake in killing Bond to prove himself, so he's left Bond with his gun. They're going to one-on-one this, Fox only, Final Destination. quote:His cabin was evidently below the waterline, and from where he lay he could see a brightly lit corridor with steps at the far end. Somewhere along that corridor or up the steps, Oborin was waiting. It was the perfect killing ground, the carefully setup site for a private execution. At first Bond thought he had no chance, but then he realized that Oborin's whole scheme for killing him depended for its certainty on one thing – light. If he could only plunge that corridor outside in darkness he might just have a chance. Everything depended now on whether the corridor lights and the light inside his cabin were on the same electric circuit. With luck they would be. And that's it! Why would you write a book like this? You clearly have interesting ideas. Do you just not know how to write good action scenes or dialogue? quote:It took Bond some while to find his way out. He was in a corridor with a steel ladder at the far end. Groping his way up he found a bulkhead door. He wrenched it open and found himself out on the tilting deck of the Lublin. The Russian had been right – the wrecked battleship was quite deserted. So was the island. At the jetty Bond could see the small blue boat he had arrived on still tied up where he had left it. There was something lifeless and depressing in the scene. Bond thought of the drowned sailors for whom this rusting warship was still a communal coffin. It was time to go before the Russian submarine arrived. Bond continues working without much concern of SMERSH. He takes two more jobs over the winter, one "persuading" some terrorists in Cairo to leave town before they could kill an American businessman and conferring with the CIA on an anonymous threat against the President. His next trip is to Milan. quote:This occurred during the annual Trade Fair. These international affairs with entries from both sides of the Iron Curtain tended to become a field day for the Secret Service. Bond was quite used to them, and on this occasion he had to keep his eye on a technical adviser from a British electronics firm who was suspected of illicit contacts with the East. For Bond it was very much a routine operation. For cover he had arranged to be attached to a British firm of turbine engineers and duly took his place, complete with dark suit and exhibitor's lapel badge, on their stand. He knew enough to talk convincingly about turbine generators, and also managed to observe the man he wanted. In fact, nothing happened: the man was either innocent, or else aware that he was being watched. And Bond was free to enjoy the exotic pleasures of Milan. He liked the city. Unlike so much of Italy, it made no attempt to thrust culture and antiquity down his throat, and he enjoyed its zest and its prosperity. He liked the Milanese too – with their large fast cars and pampered women – and ate well, drank wines like Inferno and Lambrusco, and in place of his customary vodka martinis found himself enjoying what he called ‘musical comedy drinks’ – Campari sodas and Americanos.  This is the Fiera Milano, which has been going on since 1920. quote:During the four days of the Fair he had a double room at the Hotel Principe e Savoia. He approved of this as well. The hotel was solid and discreet; the barman poured generous measures and knew all the gossip of the city. It was in the bar too that Bond met the girl who saved his life. She was called Melissa. She was English, recently divorced and staying in Milan to meet her Italian lover. He was delayed in Rome; she was obviously lonely. Bond gave her dinner at one of the finest restaurants in Italy – Gianino's in the Via Sciesa where they ate artichokes and osso buco alle milanese – and spent the night with her. After the grappa and the gorgonzola this seemed the perfect ending to a perfect evening. It's like all this guy knows of Bond is that he eats a lot and describes his food. quote:Luckily, they chose her room. At 4 a.m. the hotel was shaken by an explosion. Bond's empty double room was totally destroyed. As the carabiniere told him later, the bomb had been put underneath his bed. Blow your head off...with thermite? Thermite is a mixture of metal powder (usually aluminum) and iron oxide, better known as "rust." When mixed into a powder and ignited, it creates an extremely hot reaction that can melt through metal and weld pieces together. It is not an explosive; the thermite grenades issued by the US at this time were for destroying equipment by placing them on vulnerable parts and letting the burning thermite fuse and destroy pieces. quote:Then came the final incident. Bond had been dining with his favourite married woman at the White Tower Restaurant in Percy Street. He had the Bentley and, as he drove her back to Chelsea, he noticed a small grey Austin in front which refused to let him pass. He hooted and flashed his lights, but the car stuck to the middle of the road. Bond swore. He was impatient to get home, and then, just by the exit from the park, the car jammed on its brakes and swung across the road. Another car was double-parked ahead and, as Bond struggled to avoid it, there was a rattle of machine-gun fire. The Bentley skidded to a halt. Bond was unhurt, but the woman beside him had been hit. Bond spent the next half hour seeing her safely into St George's hospital, and then coping with the police. There was a lot of coping to be done, and the evening ended, shortly before midnight, with a hurried conference with M. at the Regent's Park Headquarters. It feels uncharacteristic of Soviet intelligence in the 1950s to be engaging in such dramatic, obvious assassinations of agents. quote:It was the first time Bond had known him appear at such an hour, but the Chief of Staff had summoned him from home. Both of them looked grim when Bond appeared. Casually getting MPs' wives involved in your life when you're having men bombing and shooting at you all the time. quote:By next morning, things had calmed down, but M. still took a gloomy view of James Bond's future in the Secret Service. Most assassinations of this time were far less public than Bond was facing. It would be a mark of extreme carelessness to be having bombs going off in the middle of downtown London, or cars swerving off the road and spraying submachine guns into traffic. quote:Those next few days of semi-relegation were perhaps the bitterest of his life. He had to hand in his Beretta, that battered but efficient friend of many an assignment. And he no longer had that special status, that sense of being part of an elite. The way that everyone appeared so understanding simply made it worse. He began the melancholy business of packing – there seemed nothing else to do. Prepare expenses, close the files, make sure at least that everything is left in decent order. "We're sending you somewhere else specifically because of assassins chasing after you. The first step is to turn in your gun." quote:He would store the Bentley when it was repaired – he couldn't bear the thought of selling it. And there would be no trouble subleasing the flat. He would have to pick his moment to tell May that he was leaving. He had never thought of her as a sensitive woman. One of her virtues was that she had always kept her life and worries quite apart from him, and left him free. She never varied. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 04:12 on May 4, 2020 |
|
#
?
May 4, 2020 04:09
|
|
|
Chapter 11: Superbondquote:Bond still doesn't know why he called Fleming back. He was not in the mood to talk to anyone – least of all anybody as demanding as Ian Fleming. Besides, Fleming was a journalist. But when he did, that drawling voice from the far end of the telephone was strangely sympathetic. ‘Met your managing director out at lunch today. I'd heard about your previous spot of bother in the office, and he filled me in on your threatened change of employment. I had an idea which quite appealed to him. It might be something of a solution. He's coming to lunch with me at Blades tomorrow to discuss it further. I think you ought to come as well.’ One wonders just how fondly Pearson thought of Fleming. quote:‘James,’ said M. pleasantly. ‘Ian and I have just been having quite a little chat. I can't say he's converted me, but he does have a very interesting – I might say startling – proposition. As it concerns you personally I'd value your views on it.’ The Man Who Never Was was a book (and later film) about Operation Mincemeat, which is described accurately. The Germans fell for the ruse, believing the Allies were invading Greece and Sardinia next, and had no reinforcements left for Sicily when the Allies suddenly showed up. Fleming himself actually had a nearly identical plan while working for Godfrey earlier, which was never put into motion. quote:‘I hardly thought you would,’ said Fleming, butting in. ‘We're not proposing to use your corpse or anything like that, not yet at any rate. My idea is simply this. In the Montagu story, the resources of the Secret Service were used to convince the Germans that a mythical man was a reality. Now I suggest that we should do the opposite, convince the opposition that a very real man is in fact a myth – or at least dead.’ If you go to the Spy Museum in DC, you can actually see the ice axe! quote:Bond had stopped eating. He had passed his adult life facing the imminence of death. Even so, there was something chilling in the offhand way this gentlemanly Englishman predicted his demise. M is actually into Fleming's plan, as wild as it sounds. Turn a real operation of his into a cheap pulp novel, with enough fictional aspects to make it patently ridiculous that these events could have occurred for real. The Soviets only know that an agent named "James Bond" is responsible for their ills, and that could easily be a cover identity. quote:‘And M.,’ asked Bond, ‘he would be included?’ It was! quote:‘I'd never realized,’ said Bond, ‘just how hard old Ian worked – when he wanted to. I'd always thought he was a very lazy fellow. He liked to give one that impression; that tired way he had of talking, the long lunch hours, and so forth. But once he started on the story that became Casino Royale I was dealing with a very different Ian.’  That would be Joyce Grove, 42 miles west of London. It was a massive property of 2000 acres that was purchased in 1903 by Ian and Peter Fleming's grandfather, Robert Fleming, who had the old manor house torn down for a new one with 44 bedrooms. Pearson makes another mistake here. While Peter Fleming was gifted the home by his uncle Philip in 1937, within a year he had donated it to St. Mary's Hospital as a convalescent home. The building is currently home to Nettlebed Hospice. quote:‘Who used to win?’ 1. This version of Bond is far worse than Fleming's. 2. No, Fleming wrote Casino Royale beginning February 17, 1952. He always had his routine of writing on his annual holiday to Jamaica, generally January to March, and returning to England for editing. The timeframe Pearson claims is actually when Live and Let Die was written. quote:‘That's what I told them all, at any rate when we had our meeting. Ian was there and M., and head of S, and quite a lot of top brass from the ministries. And, in fairness to Ian, I must say that all of them were most enthusiastic. There is a great deal of the schoolboy in the senior civil service mind, and Ian had got their tastes exactly. M., I might add, was secretly delighted at the way Ian painted him. And Ian made great play about the way the book would have to appeal to one man in particular – Guy Burgess. We knew by then that Burgess was advising Smersh on English matters, and Ian said, quite rightly as it turned out, that if we could once convince the wretched Burgess that this hero was completely fictional, we were home and dry. While Fleming wrote the book, the Secret Service engaged in an extensive cover-up to help it work. They arranged for a copy to get in the hands of Guy Burgess of the Cambridge Five (who had fled to Moscow in 1951). Burgess brought a copy to General Grubozaboyschikov to be translated for him. quote:When he had finished, the directorate of Smersh was silent. Who had slipped up? What idiot had first been taken in by the famous British sense of humour? All eyes were on the General. Urquhart assisted in the deception by surreptitiously destroying the records of Bond at Eton and Blades, as well as moving Aunt Charmian and May for a few months so they couldn't be found. Bond laid low in Tokyo, without even Fleming knowing where he was in hiding. quote:On the whole, Bond's few friends in England proved easier to deal with than he thought. Urquhart saw each of Bond's three married women, and told them just enough to keep them silent. He was a good psychologist, and did the same with other key acquaintances. And the strange thing was that as the books about James Bond became more popular, people who had known him seemed to forget that he had once existed. As Bond puts it, ‘I was beginning to get absorbed into the character of “James Bond, the Secret Agent of the Fleming books”. It became rather spooky, and I would sometimes wonder whether James Bond was real myself.’ You'd be a lot more interesting, that's for sure. quote:But the main thing about the operation was that it worked. During his whole time in Japan, Bond had heard nothing of a threat from Smersh. On his return to London, M. confirmed that the manhunt by the enemy was over – for a while at least. Fleming argues that the only way to keep the Bond myth alive is to keep writing books. He also points out that the book gave a flattering image of the Secret Service, and M was quite concerned about a good image at the time. They ended up choosing his Mr. Big operation for the next book, which ended up being the most accurate account of any of Bond's tales. quote:But long before it appeared that autumn, Bond had resumed the very active service he was used to. Indeed, 1954 provided one of his busiest years to date. This was partly due to the mounting pressure on the 00 section, and also to a quirk of M.'s. M. always had been, in Bond's words, ‘a thorough-going slavedriver’. Hard with himself, he felt he had a right to be hard with others. He also thought that men respond to pressure and that more agents are destroyed by slackness than by the enemy. Around this time this attitude of M.'s grew worse. Bond himself agrees that there was an odd streak in him – he refuses to call it sadism – but M. had certainly inherited the attitude from the old navy that men need to be broken. He was almost happy when they did. Bond spent most of his time between missions in constant training, which is why he's so hyper-competent in the books. He would spend a week at a time mastering a craft, exercising non-stop, until he had an athletic body and an encyclopedic knowledge of violence. Most of his missions still remain a secret. quote:One of Bond's so-called ‘copy-book affairs’ occasioned a swift visit to the Far East. 002, who for the previous three months had been inside a gaol in Canton, had broken free, killed several Chinese guards and somehow crossed the border between China and Portuguese Macao. In London it was realized that this was a situation that could all too easily get out of hand. But almost before the Chinese Communists had time to put pressure on the Portuguese for the ‘foreign murderer's’ return, Bond was in Macao. It was a perfectly planned and executed coup – so perfect that when 002 disappeared from the Portuguese police headquarters where he was being held, there was no shred of evidence of who had taken him. (This was in fact almost the first operational use of Oblivon, a safe but instantly effective sleep-inducing drug which had been recently developed in the laboratories of ‘Universal Export’.) The escaped agent travelled to Hong Kong – impeccably disguised as an ancient Hackar woman – on the morning ferry, and was back in London by the following midday. You have just described two books you could have written instead. quote:That autumn Bond returned to London just in time for the publication of Fleming's second book, Live and Let Die. It was obvious to Bond that Fleming was now getting in his stride as an established author. He was very proud of the dust-jacket for the book. Bond liked it too, but something about the author's attitude was troubling him. Fleming had actually suggested he should come to a publication party for the book. When Bond refused, Fleming replied ‘but why on earth not? It'll be amusing and no one will realize who you are.’ I have not heard that superstition of Arabs. While it did appear in some cultures early in the dispersion of photography, I would be extremely surprised to find out that it was still a thing in the 1950s. quote:Bond was not the only member of the Secret Service to be worried at the course the books were taking. After the publication of this second book some very strange reports got back to Moscow. Urquhart was worried that someone in the press would stumble on the truth, and Fleming was summoned to an anxious meeting of the security committee in the ‘Universal Export’ building. Once again his ingenuity appeared to save the day. Man, Bond isn't even saving the world in this version. quote:The plot was a favourite one of Fleming’s – a mammoth British rocket project built by a rich industrialist who plans to use it for his Russian masters. But he and Bond spent a weekend together to discuss it. By an odd coincidence, Fleming owned a house not far from James Bond's boyhood haunt at Pett Bottom – the Old Palace, Bekesbourne. They went to Fleming's club, the Royal St George's, Sandwich where they played a lot of golf and then sketched out the plot. Fleming's idea, like all the finest thriller plots, was just conceivable. His villain was an immensely rich industrialist who offered to use all his vast resources to build a British rocket – he called it ‘The Moonraker’. The project would go ahead, the villain would get praised for his vision and patriotism. And then, at the last minute, James Bond would discover that he wasn't what he seemed. In fact he was working for the enemy, and the Moonraker would be part of a plot to hold London to ransom – either the British Government would give in, or the Moonraker, complete with atomic warhead, would be fired directly at the heart of London. Bond was again impressed by Fleming's ingenuity, and also by his knack of welding fact to fiction. It was Bond's idea to place the rocket-launching base on the cliffs at Kingsdown. This was a stretch of coast that he knew well. He took Fleming there to get the atmosphere, and afterwards they stopped at the pub, The World Without Want on the Dover Road, which was to feature in the book. Here they discussed Bond's office routine, and M.'s latest fads. They even talked about the villain. He was based on a mutual acquaintance but, to avoid the libel laws, they had to find a different name for him. For some reason Bond remembered the dog he had owned as a boy in France – Drax.
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2020 02:50
|
|
|
Jumping back to the previous update for a minute, Lublin is a pretty unlikely name for a German battlecruiser. Germany named its battlecruisers after people, not cities, and moreover Lublin is a Polish city that was only in German hands in 1915-18 and 1939-44.chitoryu12 posted:The Man Who Never Was was a book (and later film) about Operation Mincemeat, which is described accurately. There's one major inaccuracy that I recall: the official story at the time was that the 'donor' corpse had died of pneumonia after being rejected for military service because of poor eyesight. In fact it was a homeless man who died after ingesting rat poison. chitoryu12 posted:If you go to the Spy Museum in DC, you can actually see the ice axe! Is that a recent addition? I was there about five years ago and don't remember seeing it. chitoryu12 posted:impeccably disguised as an ancient Hackar woman I suspect that's supposed to be Hakka.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2020 23:27
|
|
|
Somebody Awful posted:
They moved to a newer larger building last year and have new exhibits.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 00:50
|
|
|
Chapter 12: Bond Cocu Alternately, The Character Assassination of Tiffany Case by the Coward John Pearson quote:‘Love?' said James Bond. ‘The best definition of it I ever heard came from a friend of Ian's, a man called Harling. Used to work with N.I.D. during the war and was supposed to have been a great expert on the subject in his day. He defined love as “a mixture of tenderness and lust”. I think I agree with him.’ That would be Robert Harling, a close friend of Fleming's who held many jobs in his life: typesetter, advertising executive, magazine editor. Fleming was a subscriber to his Typography journal and had him commissioned to redesign the admiralty's weekly intelligence report. Harling joined the Royal Navy when war broke out, and in 1941 was transferred to the Inter-Services Topographical Department to utilize his graphic design skill for analyzing recon photos and producing maps and target guides. He worked closely with Fleming and the 30AU in the field during their intelligence gathering operations, even meeting General Patton once. He returned to his magazine career and writing, dying in 2008 long after many of his contemporaries. In 2015, Ian Fleming: A Personal Memoir was released detailing Harling's friendship with Fleming. quote:It had taken him several days to explain how the Bond books had started. During this time he had appeared distinctly tense and it had clearly been an effort to recount the facts of this strange story. I knew him well enough by now to recognize when he was ill at ease. The voice grew sharper and he became impatient at any interruption. Plainly the loss of his identity into the Fleming books still rankled. He seemed relieved when he could talk of other things; much to my surprise he even accepted an invitation from the indefatigable Mrs Schultz for a day's cruise aboard her yacht, the Honeychile, and suggested I should come along. Bond has a love of sailing, and he takes charge from the boat's normal captain, Cullum, to pilot it himself (which is implied to be a regular occurrence). quote:She had insisted on preparing lunch herself – a P.J. Clark salad, cold pheasant, strawberries and cream. Bond was allowed to manage the champagne. Honeychile looked suntanned, desirable and rich, and by now was wearing nothing but the bottom half of her bikini. Bond had told her that he could not bear tanned women with what he called ‘undercooked’ white breasts. She was obediently doing what she could to improve them. First, this version of Bond is horrible and every time he talks about Fleming "making him worse" in the books I want to assassinate him myself. Second, the "PJ Clark salad" seems to be a Cobb salad. PJ Clarke's is a restaurant in New York City that's been open since 1884. quote:It was after lunch that the combination of alcohol and sun and Honeychile's near-naked presence, had brought the conversation round to sex and love. And it was then that he had given his definition of love. Yeah, this version of Bond is. quote:Bond grinned cheerfully. The land was out of sight, Cullum at the helm, the yacht was ploughing a furrow of white wake to the horizon. Honeychile got up to fetch a second bottle of champagne. Her breasts were browning nicely. When Bond refilled her glass she sipped and then said very softly, ‘One day, J. Bond Esquire, you're going to get your sexual comeuppance. It'll be very funny and I hope that I'm around to see it.’ If I never see "her breasts were browning nicely" again, it will have been too soon. quote:Bond didn't seem at all put out by this. That's because Ian Fleming liked Tiffany, created a strong character who remains one of the best in the series, and felt no need to make the story pointlessly dark. quote:From Bond's account that afternoon it was quite clear that the beautiful Miss Tiffany Case, ex-gangster's moll and sometime blackjack dealer from Las Vegas, possessed that extra something that a woman needed to get through his habitual sexual defences. In her case this something was her vulnerability. He had sensed it beneath her ‘brazen sexiness and the rough tang of her manner’ that first evening that he met her in her London hotel room at the start of the assignment. As Fleming noticed Bond had an instinct for female lame ducks. He probably detected some reflection of his mother in them, and his protectiveness was roused from the beginning. We have no need for a rehash of their romance aboard the Queen Mary. Bond was sincere in wanting marriage after they moved in together, and she acquiesced to the difficulties that his life as a 00 agent would inevitably bring. While May is out of town visiting her mother in Scotland, Bond gets the next 10 days with Tiffany to himself. quote:She was the perfect mistress for him now. This was the first time he had lived with anyone since Marthe de Brandt, but he was never bored. One of the reasons why he had avoided living with his women previously was that he had dreaded being bored. With Tiffany he was kept busy teaching her a whole world she had never seen. She was an apt pupil, Bond a dedicated teacher. I'm going to assume Bond accidentally gave money to that Chinese restaurant owner during a bungled op. quote:Bond also showed her the crown jewels, the Soane Museum, Savile Row, the reptile house at London Zoo and took her on a late-night tour of the London sewers. They bought smoked salmon in a shop off Cable Street, caviare in Clerkenwell, steak in Smithfield, and had champagne and strawberries sent from Fortnums. How much money is Bond making off his gambling? quote:For both of them, the greatest source of pleasure lay in novelty. Neither had lived like this before. In her disorganized wild way, Tiffany kept house – cooking when they were hungry, stacking the dark blue Minton unwashed in the kitchen, pulling the covers over the bed when they had finished making love. The flat looked as if a boys’ club had adopted it. Bond simply assumes things will work out. Both May and Tiffany are headstrong and set in their belief at what Bond enjoys, arguing over what he prefers for breakfast and Tiffany intentionally making messes that May cleans more studiously than ever. Bond, unable to do anything, runs. quote:For the remainder of that week the battle rumbled on with May and Tiffany embattled in the flat and Bond a somewhat wary referee longing for one thing only – peace. This was a situation he was not prepared for, the sort of warfare where this ‘man of war’ became a coward. He could take on a Smersh, a Chiffre, a Mr Big, but he would suffer agonies at the thought of having to lay down the law to May – or Tiffany. I can't tell if the reference to Mary Goodnight as his secretary is an error or Pearson making a minor change for no reason again. Goodnight replaced Loelia Ponsonby (reimagined here as Una Trueblood) years later, in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. quote:Finally Bond asked Bill Tanner, M.'s Chief of Staff for his advice. This was something Bond had never done before. He wasn't one for revealing his personal affairs to anyone, but Bill Tanner was an old friend, a married man, and eminently sane. His advice was quite uncompromising. ‘It looks as if you've got to choose. Either you marry, get a house and kick out May – or you risk losing Tiffany. You can't have both.’ So is the author. quote:Nor had she any money. Bond could be generous, in certain strictly limited ways. He loved to give her presents, often expensive presents – a diamond clip from Cartier, a jumbo-sized bottle of scent, silk underwear, the luxuries of life. But when it came to bread-and-butter he was downright mean. She found the housekeeping he gave her quite inadequate; this too became a source of friction. Tiffany demands to come with Bond to use the mission as an excuse for a vacation, but he refuses. In France, Bond finds that a private detective has already been hired by the MP to essentially bodyguard him. The detective helps Bond get a copy of the guestbook at the villa the MP is staying in, which he sends to Mathis to run. The only recognizable name is Henri, a Hungarian-French male model with a criminal record who had previously been suspected in incidents involving NATO information leaks and the death of an American embassy official. quote:Bond alerted the detective who replied that there wasn't much that he could do, but Bond was worried – especially when he learned that Henri and the Minister had been seen together at a restaurant in Cannes. It was a tricky situation. All of Bond's instincts were against this sort of squalid prying into private lives and he was inclined to agree with the detective. As vanity is stronger than fear, Reynard has arranged a screen test for Henri with a French film producer to get him out of the way. While the minister is upset at how rapidly Henri left without saying goodbye, he actually got the part and established a successful film career! quote:During these days when Bond was in the South of France, Tiffany remained dutifully in the flat. By now she and May had reached a state of stabilized hostility, but life was tedious and she was lonely. There was not much to do with Bond away. She remembered one of Bond's earliest remarks about getting married, ‘Most marriages don't add two people together. They subtract one from the other.’ At the same time she hadn't understood him. Now she did. At the embassy, Tiffany meets a handsome American major stationed there. While she politely refuses dinner with him, he finds her name and number in the embassy records anyway and calls her back for a fake reason. He asks her out again, and this time she accepts. quote:This was the position, more or less, when Bond returned from France. He was at a strange disadvantage. Had it been anyone but Bond, he would have recognized the situation straight away. Tiffany had changed: she was alternately distant and over-loving, gentle yet rejecting, critical and then subservient. In short she was showing all the classic symptoms of a woman having an affair. But Bond, who had not been cuckolded since the age of twelve, was merely puzzled. Ah, there we go. The sentence that makes you do a double-take is finally here. quote:What was wrong with her? Was it her period? The condition seemed to last too long for that. Had he neglected her? He tried spoiling her – more scent, more underwear, another trip to France: but all too late. Never before had any woman treated him like this and all his wide experience of doting and adoring women had left him quite ignorant of the female heart. He made mistakes that no suburban husband would have made. Then, final degradation, he became jealous. All right! Tiffany is a spoiled cheater and Bond is a drunk domestic abuser! This book is great! Definitely not going in the trash! quote:At first he could not believe it, even when May announced, ‘She's gone. The body's gone. She's left you.’ But there was a letter on his desk. Maybe try not punching her next time. quote:Soft, sentimental as he was, he thought that he might still succeed in settling down and marrying her. Somehow he found the hotel where she was staying. He sent her a letter. It was returned unopened. Oh gently caress off, Pearson. You could have stopped at turning Bond into an even bigger rear end in a top hat than I ever thought possible. You didn't have to follow it up with "Also Tiffany is a cheating whore who ruins men's lives." quote:It was all most civilized. They talked about New York and San Francisco. Bond promised to look them up next time he was in the States. He wished them both good luck, and then kissed Tiffany goodbye. As he drove back to Chelsea he thought of sending Tiffany some roses, but couldn't find a flower-shop. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 08:19 on May 7, 2020 |
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 03:19
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:Alternately, The Character Assassination of Tiffany Case by the Coward John Pearson Going in, I hoped you were joking. Coming out, I knew you weren't.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 07:42
|
|
|
If I were reading this as a physical book, this is the point where I'd slam it shut and give it back to the library. This Bond isn't mean to the women in his life!
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 07:45
|
|
|
Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:If I were reading this as a physical book, this is the point where I'd slam it shut and give it back to the library. This Bond isn't mean to the women in his life! I'm very happy I pirated it.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 14:38
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:Alternately, The Character Assassination of Tiffany Case by the Coward John Pearson Yeah. gently caress youuuuuu Pearson. chitoryu12 posted:If I never see "her breasts were browning nicely" again, it will have been too soon. All I can imagine is *sizzling*. Ow ow ugh. quote:They ate in the last Chinese restaurant in Limehouse As someone who lived near Limehouse in the 80s, I promise you there were still plenty there then and no doubt still are.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 17:33
|
|
|
If you want a preview of what the next book is like, go look up what series made Christopher Wood famous.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 18:08
|
|
|
https://twitter.com/scottlynch78/status/1258222082393079808
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 19:38
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:If you want a preview of what the next book is like, go look up what series made Christopher Wood famous. 
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2020 23:12
|
|
|
Chapter 13: The Soft Lifequote:Honeychile Schultz was winning, there was no doubt about it. Now Bond was in danger of becoming Mr Schultz the second. The story he had told of his affair with Tiffany merely underlined the fact. Until then I hadn't realized how weak he really was with women once they had got through his defences. I should have recognized the pattern earlier. Those one-night stands of his, the hit-and-run affairs, the rigidly controlled relationships with firmly married women were quite simply the manoeuvres of a man determined to keep womankind at bay. "Never let John Pearson write again." quote:Bond, though, appeared oblivious of what was going on: he had other worries on his mind. After our day aboard the Honeychile I had been hoping to continue with the story of his life from 1955 – the year made memorable by the assignment Fleming has described in that most colourful of all his books, From Russia With Love. Bond had other ideas. I was sitting on the terrace after breakfast and wading through a day-old copy of the New York Times when he appeared. He was smartly dressed in regulation James Bond dark blue shirt and freshly laundered white duck trousers. He had, he said, to spend the day with Mrs Schultz, but was expecting a telephone call from London. Would I please be sure to take it for him when it came. That is not the Bond outfit! Dark blue shirt and white pants? quote:‘From whom?’ He paused. Should we be that surprised at anyone in this book acting out-of-character? quote:‘I never knew you were a fisherman,’ I said. "The soft life" is giving Bond trouble with boredom, but it also allows for the physical and mental damage of his rough and trauma-inducing life to emerge. New missions became the way to set that trouble aside, culminating in the mission to Turkey in 1955. quote:Fleming's outline of the mission is surprisingly accurate (indeed at one stage M. was threatening to stop the book under the Official Secrets Act. He still maintains it gave too much away). Certainly Smersh did plan to involve Bond in a carefully planned scandal in Istanbul, as Fleming said they did. The bait was a beautiful young woman carefully trained and selected from their own organization. Her name, as Fleming says, was Tatiana Romanova and she was pretending to defect with the latest Russian cypher machine, the Spektor. Bond was sent out by M. to meet her. He slept with her, became convinced she was in love with him, and it was during their return to London on the Orient Express that Bond met and, against all the odds, defeated the trained Russian killer Granitsky, alias Donovan Grant. Is this a change to the canon, or a mistake by Pearson forgetting that Grant was an Irish defector to Russia? quote:This was a very real setback to the cold hard men in Smersh. Indeed, this incident was more of a victory for Bond than Fleming could reveal. For, naturally, the Turkish mission has to be assessed against the peculiar background of Bond's whole secret service life. The truth was that this attempt by Smersh was simply one more episode in their vendetta against Bond. Granitsky was intended to avenge the one-time top assassin in Smersh, Chiffre's killer, Oborin. But there was more to it than that. By now the directorate of Smersh had found out the truth about the James Bond books and realized the scale of the deception. There was some pressure to have the facts made public, but this was powerfully resisted by the redoubtable General Grubozaboyschikov, the head of Smersh. He had his enemies within the party and as a wily apparatchik who had survived both Stalin and Beria, he knew how dangerous such revelations of his gullibility could be. Lesser mistakes had cost much greater men their heads. I would argue that there's nothing "flimsy" about Fleming's plot. In the Fleming universe, Bond has repeatedly foiled SMERSH plans of great value, including an attempted nuking of London. His prominence and the massive pain in the neck he is to the Russians would undoubtedly give reason to simultaneously kill and humiliate him. quote:But the events of these few autumn days in 1955 played their part not only in Bond's subsequent career but also in his legend. Fleming has described the frantic way that Smersh still tried to murder him. Even in Paris he had to face the arch-spy Rosa Klebb – disguised as a sweet old lady knitting in the Ritz – and as we know, the lethal dose of Japanese blow-fish poison from her knife-edged heel all but finished him. Thanks to Bond's stamina (and possibly the low quality of Soviet fugu that year), he survived. You can decide for yourself the accuracy of the phrase "Soviet fugu." quote:It was at this point that General Grubozaboyschikov chose to act like the realist he was. The vendetta against this agent Bond was clearly getting out of hand. Smersh had lost Oborin, Granitsky and now Rosa Klebb. Even by Russian standards, this was excessive. For someone who criticizes Fleming's plot work, "We've lost a ton of important agents in single combat to this guy so the best thing to do is ignore him and hope he goes away" is a doozy. quote:Not that this really worried him that autumn. He had more serious problems on his plate, and even Fleming was soon talking as if this book would be the last that he would write about his hero. His summer boredom was essentially a symptom of a more profound disorder and the strain of his Turkish mission (the quite extraordinary physical demands of the oversexed Miss Romanova and the struggle with his appalling enemy, Granitsky) had virtually exhausted him. The real trouble was fatigue. This was why he bungled the end of the assignment. As he says, had he been on form, la Klebb could not have hoped to trick him in the way she did, only his blurred reactions let her get in that all but winning kick. Tania eventually changes her name and moves to Australia. When Bond returns to work, it's found that he's in no physical condition to get back to things. This is where Sir James Molony comes in. quote:Bond still remembers the first evening when Molony visited him in Wellington Square. Bond at the time was incommunicado, finding it hard to sleep or to face anyone. Sir James had quite a job persuading May (who was very worried) to let him in. He had, he said, brought Bond a present – a bottle of Wild Turkey – and was to stay up half the night to help him drink it. At first Bond was suspicious, he'd had his fill of doctors in the last few days, but as he told himself, this was the first who had brought him anything to drink. Sir James seemed unconcerned at Bond's moroseness. A Dubliner, he had what the Irish call ‘a way with him’ and gradually Bond did what he'd never done before – he started talking of his childhood and parents and his early life. Sir James was a skilled listener – and drinker. Before the night was over he knew more about James Bond than anyone. From long experience with the Secret Service he recognized Bond's type. He was what he called a ‘puritan romantic’ whose divided nature was in constant conflict with itself. I would need someone with more psychiatric experience than me to tell me if this is bunk. I actually have a friend with a master's degree in this, so I'll ask her. quote:Molony said all this so calmly that Bond suddenly felt scared. Bond is taken to Molony's big country house near Sevenoaks for some "enhanced living." Exercise - including assault courses - intellectual challenges, fast driving, massages, dietary control, medical tests. Despite their tension in the book at this time, Bond was very defensive of M's attitude and how hard he drove the Service: he had to be in such trying times. quote:I was surprised to find Bond even defending M. over the way he had to vent his disapproval by the enforced replacement of his favourite gun, the faithful old Beretta. When Bond returns to Britain, he finds it in an uproar over the Hungarian Revolution. For several days straight, Bond is confined to desk duty to help the overworked staff receive reports on the evolving situation. Every Western intelligence agency is suddenly confronted with the ripest setting for espionage and sending men over like mad. M sends for him. quote:‘Well, battle-stations, 007. I hope you're feeling fresher than you look.’ Bond's on his way to Budapest. M doesn't even care about whether 009 lives or dies, as long as he gets that list. quote:All revolutions seem to smell the same and Budapest that fateful autumn had something in the air Bond recognized at once – the unforgettable scent of violence. It was a sour, acrid smell of burning buildings and unburied bodies. It was the reek of cordite and the fumes from the diesel engines of the Russian tanks that lumbered through the streets. By now it was a hopeless smell. Bond realized that he must hurry. There were still pockets of resistance. The students were holding out in the university and in the southern quarter there were mammoth blocks of flats where the resistance started. In parts of the old city too the flags of the liberation were still fluttering, but it was clear that the uprising was now doomed. The Russian tanks controlled the streets. Government troops were slowly recovering the city. Soon the arrests would start, the trials, the reprisals. Soon it would all be over. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE1FX0Uf01I The Hungarian Revolution of 1956 began as a student protest demanding the end to Soviet control of Hungary and an investigation into the communist politicians. A group of students stormed a broadcast station and were detained by the police. When the crowd of protesters outside grew, the police fired into the crowd. The protest turned into a riot, with even soldiers switching sides and joining the rebels. It grew into a full revolution, toppling the communist government and making preparations for exiting the Warsaw Pact and officially joining the West with free democratic elections. The Soviets, safe to say, were displeased. On November 4, the Politburo sent in a massive army to crush the revolution. The revolutionary government was removed within 6 days and by January 1957 the revolt had been fully suppressed, violently putting Hungary back into communist control after thousands of deaths. The violence with which the Soviets brutally crushed the revolution alienated many Western Marxists who began questioning their commitment to Marxism, including one Kingsley Amis. quote:Bond was dressed as a workman – grey shirt and cap, a pair of ancient overalls. During a revolution it is as well to be as inconspicuous as possible. He spoke sufficient Russian to maintain his cover-story as a skilled man from the big Soviet car works on the outskirts of the city. In Vienna he had been provided with his documents and local currency. His only weapon was the Walther PPK in its shoulder holster. He was used to it by now, and was reassured to feel its solid bulk against his armpit. Bond waits until nightfall, then begins picking his way through the destroyed city, dodging searchlights and patrols. He finds the apartment 009 was living in to have lost electricity, forcing him to navigate by matchlight. He finds the apartment torn to shreds and 009 with his throat slashed on the bed. quote:What should he do? M. had spoken of a list, but it was unlikely to be in the flat – even if 009 had made it. Whoever killed him had been looking hard for something. But once again Bond had no idea who the murderers could be. Nor, with the Russian soldiers on the streets, would he have much chance now of finding out. It looked as if the mission had aborted. Those weeks of work, the risks, and now the death of 009 had been in vain. All he could hope for was to get out fast – and leave the explanations till he was face to face with M. Others had been at fault. He had done everything he could. He put away his gun and turned to go. Goddammit Bond. quote:‘Don't move,’ said a voice. ‘Just raise your hands.’ He did, then in the darkness felt himself being frisked for weapons. Somebody found the shoulder holster and removed the gun. Then a flashlight was shone straight into his face. This is now a horror movie. quote:‘Inmates?’ said Bond. "Or I shall return you to Forks to be harassed by teenagers." quote:The woman jumped, then scuttled off. The big man scratched himself and yawned. Funny for the Peter Lorre reference, the distinctive Hungarian actor played Le Chiffre in the 1954 Climax! adaptation of Casino Royale. quote:A big hand backed with thick black hair pushed a bottle of Dimple Haig across the desk. Bond poured himself a generous measure and drank it neat. After the hunger of the day it tasted good. Because Bond knew where to come and where to look, Heinkel thinks he has the list. Bond attempts to negotiate a price, but he's not making a deal. quote:Bond had been coolly working out the line of fire from the sub-machine gun. This was a situation he had often had to face in training. There was a man called Roscoe who was on the staff at Regent's Park. The Service's Armourer had recruited him from a circus. His speciality was dodging bullets and he instructed the 00 section in this invaluable trade. The secret of it lay in speed and creating some diversion. Bond had become quite good at it, but he had never had to use his skill against a man like Heinkel. Yet another brave escape attempt instantaneously foiled. quote:‘D'you want him killed, Heinkel?’ shrieked the woman. This is uncomfortable. quote:‘Now Mr Bond,’ said Heinkel. ‘I'm feeling generous, but don't abuse my generosity. I'll give you one more chance. We're leaving in the morning. There's nothing else for us in Budapest and we must be getting back for our hero's welcome from the Americans. You have until then to remember where you have hidden that list we want. If your memory improves, you can have your freedom. If not, you stay here till the Russians find you – and I'll make certain that they know exactly who you are.’ He rose to his feet, and paused to light a fresh cigar. One of the men twisted Bond's arm behind his back as if in warning. This is the strangest story. quote:The straw beneath his feet was moist and spongy and the stench in the cage was overpowering. The stink of accumulated dung fought with the nauseating sweetness of rotting food, but above them both Bond detected the rank and unmistakeable odour that only a terrified animal can exude. When I heard about this book, "Bond locked naked in a cage with a gorilla during the Hungarian Revolution" is not where I saw it going. quote:He attempted to assess the situation. So far the animal had ignored his presence, but clearly it was only a matter of time until it turned on him. Something in the back of his mind told him that gorillas were exclusively vegetarian, but in the circumstances it did not seem reassuring. He was naked and unarmed, and his adversary was twice as powerful as any man he had ever encountered. Not exclusively vegetarian, just predominately. quote:Shambling across the straw the gorilla crouched again near the bars. For a moment it was still and Bond could see exactly how enormous it was. Beneath its huge, overhanging shelf of a brow two glittering eyes glared balefully into the darkness. Thoughtfully, it clasped a bar in each huge hand and gave them an experimental shake. Nothing moved. It screamed with anger and, moving far faster than Bond had anticipated, raced round the cage scarcely touching the walls or floor but appearing to ricochet off each surface like a huge, shaggy missile. Form an alliance with the gorilla. quote:and down, leapt from side to side, and beat its chest. In a paroxysm of fury it lashed out at the bars. A small piece of cement fell and rattled on the concrete walk outside. Bond felt he had no choice but to attack, and with both hands clasped rigidly together he chopped down on the ape's neck. Bond is escaping by being scarier than a gorilla. quote:The animal reacted as he hoped. It screamed back at him but seized the damaged bar and shook it with all the power in its 450-pound body. They just broke out of a cell by giving a gorilla a panic attack. What the gently caress is this book? quote:Bond slumped onto the floor. Seconds passed before either of them would move, and then, without a word, they squeezed out of the cage. As they race through the city, dodging refugees, Bond learns what happened. 009 had been working with Heinkel and his crew, mistaking them for patriotic Hungarians, only to find out they were actually a criminal gang using their CIA backing as a cover for armed robbery. Heinkel acquired ambulances and nurse uniforms to move through the city undetected, planning on using them to escape with his loot. They demanded information from 009 and killed him when he wouldn't talk. quote:By late that afternoon they made the Austrian frontier, and by evening they were in Vienna. Their first stop was the office of the British Head of Station A in an impressive office block in Dresdnerstrasse. Suddenly the horror of the last few days was over. And for the first time, Bond could concentrate upon the girl. She was Hungarian and young and very pretty with short fair hair and a big generous mouth. From long experience Bond knew how pleasurable she would be to kiss. One of her eyes – they were green and thickly lashed – was larger than the other: this too for Bond was an almost automatic source of attraction. He had to tell himself that she was simply not available. She had been 009's woman. He was dead. It would be unthinkable to begin desiring her in such circumstances. Besides, they both had work to do. Rather than write the list of agents where it could be discovered by an enemy, 009 had made the girl learn it by heart before he died. Bond was impressed by her extraordinary memory. Just the memory, Mr. Bond? quote:‘It's simply concentration, Mr Bond,’ she said, smiling demurely. ‘There's really nothing like it.’ "This is literally my job." quote:Bond spent some time discussing their arrangements with the Station head. He was a tall, pernickety ex-Foreign Office man. He had already been in touch with London and M.'s orders were that the list was far too valuable to risk transmitting to London – even in cypher and employing the theoretically secure wave-band used by the station. The girl must be brought immediately to London, and to ensure that there was no chance of slip-up, Bond was to bring her personally. Since when did Bond find a girl too smart and pretty? quote:‘What did you do about that devil, Heinkel?’ she asked. Bond and Nashda are awoken by pounding on the door for a "passport check." It's very obviously Heinkel, reenacting From Russia With Love. quote:‘You and the girl are supposed to be dead. I left the Budapest zoo last night happy with the thought that you were both dead. I dined out on your death, Mr Bond. I ate well, I slept well. I returned to my temporary base at the zoo only to discover that you had been impertinent enough to stay alive, and that furthermore you had allowed a very valuable specimen to escape, to say nothing of the valuable specimen you have in the carriage with you. Fortunately, through my contacts in your Vienna office I had little difficulty in tracing you. But now no more of your tricks, Mr Bond. I am beginning to find them irksome. I have five men out here; all of them are armed. We have gone to considerable trouble to join you on this train. Kindly don't spoil our journey. Now, open the door!’ Not the first time he's done that on a train through Europe. quote:‘How very touching,’ Heinkel said when he saw the girl. ‘Comforting a dead comrade's girlfriend, Mr Bond? This way, if you please.’ As they walk down the train, Bond spots his one chance. quote:But there was just one chance. The hazards were enormous, but it was better than torture and certain death. As they passed the train door at the end of the compartment Bond seemed to stumble. As he turned, his shoulder cannoned into Heinkel's stomach, and at the same time he reached out and grabbed the handle of the door. It moved. The door swung open, and for one frightful moment Bond and Heinkel were hanging over the abyss. Luckily Bond kept his balance. Heinkel didn't. Bond heaved, and, like an overloaded mail sack, Heinkel's great body was sent thudding out. The most embarrassing Bond villain death: tripped into a door. quote:He knew that any moment one of them would fire. He had to take a chance. As far as he could tell the train was on the top of an embankment. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 14:02 on May 11, 2020 |
|
#
?
May 9, 2020 01:48
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:If you want a preview of what the next book is like, go look up what series made Christopher Wood famous. Oh god. And what is going on with the male cover model
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2020 07:32
|
|
|
It sounds like a joke, but I'm not kidding. I have no idea how Christopher Wood got involved in Bond with his record, but he cannot turn off the horny
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2020 08:00
|
|
|
Since we only have 2 chapters left, let's celebrate by watching a boat chase that never got posted in the first thread: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWsI9U4vHAE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj3Xwa6weq8
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2020 08:18
|
|
|
You really missed an opportunity to not title the thread "The social distance between..."
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2020 13:22
|
|
|
quote:The flat was in total darkness and he groped his way towards the door. He thought he could remember where it was, but found himself blundering against the furniture. He put out his hand to save himself and touched something soft. It was a woman's breast. This was all I could think of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijkcQzBBLfw
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2020 16:18
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:"Bond locked naked in a cage with a gorilla during the Hungarian Revolution" is not where I saw it going.
|
|
#
?
May 9, 2020 22:46
|
|
|
Serious Men's Adventure, "Weasels Ripped My Flesh" vibe.
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2020 02:59
|
|
|
Chapter 14: The Truth about M.quote:I felt sorry for Bond by now. Headquarters had obviously been treating him abominably. He had been here six weeks and he was patently quite fit for duty. He was also desperately anxious for a word from someone in Headquarters. To my certain knowledge he had tried ringing through to M. five times at least during the last two days, and once he had even packed and booked himself aboard a scheduled plane to London. Cynically, I thought at first that he was simply running out on Honeychile, but now I realized it wasn't that. He longed to work. The Secret Service was his life and he felt acompulsive loyalty to all his colleagues in Headquarters. It clearly troubled him to think that they had quietly forgotten him. Okay now I'm convinced that Pearson doesn't do research and just tries to remember everything. The FBI head was J. Edgar Hoover, not the former president. quote:There was a tinge of bitterness now as he spoke and I was surprised to hear him finally talk like this of M. Until now he had always carefully defended him. Now the pretence was over. ‘I didn't realize that M. was quite that bad,’ I said. The reason From Russia with Love ended with Bond seemingly dying is because Fleming and M decided it would be a good stopping point for their deception plan. However, M decided the Service needed some publicity. quote:‘But why should the Secret Service need publicity?’ The "Crabbe Affair" is the story of Lionel Crabb. He served as a frogman in WW2 before shifting to a civilian diving career after the war. He was later hired by the Royal Navy again to do some work, but heavy drinking and smoking and his age of 46 led to him being retired in 1955...and then MI6 got him. You see, the Soviet cruiser Ordzhonikidze was on a diplomatic mission carrying Nikita Khrushchev and Nikolai Bulganin to Britain. The new Sverdlov-class cruisers were just a few years old and MI6 wanted to do some recon on the ship's propeller while it was in Portsmouth Harbor. Crabb went down and never came back up. Within 10 days, news had leaked to the media and they were reporting on his disappearance. It caused a minor scandal as the British tried to cover up the operation while the Soviet ship crew stated they had clearly seen a diver nearby. Theories range from accidental suffocation (either his own fault or his equipment's), capture and interrogation and execution (or even brainwashing into a double-agent by the Soviets), and even a fanciful theory that he was planning a defection and MI5 sent a diving partner to assassinate him. A body washed up on shore in a diving suit, but was unidentifiable and may not have been him. It has been confirmed that other divers were sent to recon the ship at the same time, so there's a possibility that he died accidentally and had it covered up. quote:‘Then why not let the truth come out completely, and have the fact of your identity made public?’ Pearson neglects to mention that there's no way Goldfinger's plan would have worked simply on the basis of practicality. It would have taken over a week and an endless stream of trucks to drain such a massive amount of gold. The film even points this out directly, which is why Goldfinger's plan is changed to him detonating an atomic bomb inside to remove it from the economy. This is perhaps the most egregious of Pearson's mistakes in his inherently flawed concept. While the other mistakes in timeline and facts are clearly him not paying attention, the entire point of this book is that it's "the real Bond." We're expected to accept the conceit that James Bond is a real man who existed in real life, and the most fanciful adventures (like Moonraker) are utter fiction. Yet this universe still has the impossible occurring. It's sloppy and shows a lack of commitment to the idea beyond a general attempt at making it "more realistic" by making everyone assholes. quote:But when he returned to London something distinctly odd occurred. He was expecting if not congratulations at least a certain warmth from M. There was no sign of it – rather the reverse. M.'s reception was distinctly frosty. The Prime Minister was anxious to offer Bond a knighthood, and the Americans had suggested the Congressional Medal of Honour. M. forbade both, and in a way that made it seem as if James Bond had actually been seeking honours. In this canon, Moonraker never happened so Bond never totaled his 1930s Bentley. He just wanted a change, and he was able to buy the new Bentley Continental for cheap because it had been totaled in a wreck. quote:Bond had always dreamed of building his ideal car. This was his chance. Rolls straightened out the chassis and fitted the new engine Bond had set his heart on – a six cylinder with 8.1 compression. Then came the biggest luxury of all – the body built to Bond's own private specification by Mulliners. It cost £3,000 which, as Fleming has revealed, was exactly half of Bond's remaining capital. It was the sort of body Bond had always wanted on a car – two bucket seats in black English hide (not morocco leather as Fleming said), big convex Triplex windscreeen, power operated steering, and the paintwork once more the old ‘elephant's breath grey’ that Bond had made his private livery. It was both simple and luxurious and Bond loved it. With more deaths and resignations, Bond was overworked. He also was the only agent not to argue with the boss, which is why he was in such a sorry state as to have to be sent to Shrublands. quote:As Bond quite willingly admits, he had been ‘slightly overdoing things’ (entirely in the line of duty one should add) and this had led to certain symptoms which the Service's M.O. had noticed on his annual check-up. These were nothing serious, simply the usual signs of overwork – the occasional headache, slightly raised blood pressure and difficulty sleeping. His work had also forced on him a certain level of rich living. Sometimes he ate and smoked and drank more than was strictly good for him, but this was something of an occupational hazard for James Bond. As he points out, the drinks and rich food Fleming took such pleasure in describing, belonged strictly to the world of his assignments. When he was on a job he needed alcohol (in what for him was moderation) and also nicotine. Rich food, too, tended to become part of the normal ritual of an assignment, simply because his work took him to good restaurants and excellent hotels. It would have been an affectation – and sometimes positively dangerous – to have tried to live off eggs, salad and fresh orange juice. If you're going to make everyone sad and messed up, at least keep Bond's alcoholism a regular thing for him! quote:But the pessimistic tone of James Bond's medical report gave M. the excuse he needed. As Fleming hinted, M. had become a health food addict. This was just one of his current manias and it was typical of him to have forced Bond off to the sitzbaths and meagre diet of the Shrublands health clinic. Not that Bond really minded. As he admits he was a few pounds overweight and the fortnight that he spent there toned him up, and gave the osteopath a chance to deal with the damage to his back caused by his jump from the Arlberg Express. Shrublands also gave him a fortnight's welcome rest at the expense of the department, and offered a vital lead to the operations of the notorious Spectre organization. So Moonraker is so fanciful that it has to have been an invention, but SPECTRE is real and doing everything exactly as seen on the page? quote:But once again for Bond success had to be its own reward. There were no medals, no citations for his bravery. He was used to this, but he admits that he did find M.'s behaviour strange. There was no word of congratulation when he returned. Even the personal note of thanks from the Prime Minister to Bond aroused no comment from the steely martinet, and Bill Tanner told Bond later that M. had vetoed the P.M.'s suggestion of a private lunch at Downing Street. M. had apparently ruled that it would be ‘quite improper’ and that it would set what he called ‘dangerous precedents’ for members of the Secret Service to have any contact with politicians. (Bond says that he was secretly relieved.) Late in the autumn of 1960, things started going strangely wrong for Bond. His carefree years were over. Bond is sent to Canada on an assignment to protect a defector named Boris, who the Soviets have sent an assassin after while he's in his new home in Toronto. quote:Bond worked efficiently, but without much relish, finding the would-be murderer (an ex-Gestapo man called Uhlmann), taking the Russian's place on the night of the killing, and then quite calmly shooting Uhlmann in a gun-fight. Bond played his part like the professional he was, but it left him mildly disgusted with his calling. He liked to think that he was something more than a salaried trigger man for the British Secret Service. But it was obviously too much to hope for another of those missions like the Thunderball affair which gave him the luxury of feeling that his work had real value to society. Why would you even name the killer if you're going to abbreviate the whole thing into a few seconds? quote:M. seemed obsessed with Spectre and with Blofeld, and on Bond's return to London insisted firmly that from now on they were to be his sole concern. Bond tried to argue. M. was unsympathetic. The release of Bond books has become an annual thing. Despite Bond not having any fodder that he considers appropriate for a new book (contrary to all the stories we saw that Pearson just skimmed over), the "Bond cult" is only increasing and they event want a movie. Bond is horrified. quote:‘One must be forward-looking in such matters, 007,’ he insisted. ‘Forward-looking’ was a phrase that he had recently taken to using. Bond mistrusted it. But M. appeared pleased that it was a British agent – and not an American or a French one – who was involved. Something else had pleased him too. ‘Look at this,’ he said to Bond, and pushed a magazine across the desk. It was the current issue of the American Life Magazine, and somebody in the press department had underlined the article. It was by the White House correspondent, Hugh Sidey, and it listed the ten favourite books of President John F. Kennedy. Number six in the list, after the Charterhouse of Parma, was a James Bond book – From Russia With Love. M. was delighted. Fleming is given a break from having to write thanks to his heart attack, but Urquhart is not so easily dissuaded. While Bond didn't mention Vivienne Michel by name in his report, he sought her out. Michel had some literary ambitions of her own, so Urquhart had her write up her adventure as a story for him. Bond is embarrassed by the turn of events and furious with Urquhart for getting Fleming involved while he's unwell. quote:Certainly one has to sympathize with Bond. Miss Michel's womens’-magazine style revelations would have worried any self-respecting male. For somebody as reticent as Bond these ‘true confession’ type descriptions of the night he spent with the ardent Miss Michel in the Shady Pines Motel must have made quite horrifying reading. Bond says he ‘hit the roof’ when he was finally allowed to see the proofs of the book, but there was nothing he could do except complain to M., and M. dismissed the whole affair as ‘just not worth discussing’. Urquhart had cleverly kept the text away from Bond as long as possible, and as Bond says resignedly, ‘What can one do about that sort of woman?’ You can give her the respect she deserves, dammit! Fleming actually made a relatively progressive female protagonist for the time and his background! quote:In July M. went on holiday. He was no better when he got back – in fact he was quite intolerable, snappy, bad-tempered, getting on everybody's nerves. Even the glacial Miss Moneypenny seemed to be finding him impossible. Bond found her in a state of near prostration after one afternoon non-stop with M. and took her out to dinner. She came gratefully and Bond took her to Alvaro's in the Kings Road, where he thought the pasta was the best in London. Over the spaghetti alle vongole Moneypenny told him all her troubles. You know it's the 70s when pasta is treated as a strange foreign word. quote:‘I'm really worried for him, James,’ she said. ‘I know he's difficult, but he's never been like this before.’ The rumor of M in love spreads through the section and provides a convenient way to brush him off, but his behavior gets worse and worse. He begins drinking heavily at Blades, and finally Bond gets a call from the Ministry of Defense that M threw a gigantic temper tantrum during a Joint Chief of Staffs meeting when someone suggested the possibility of subversive behavior in the Secret Service. Bond thinks they've just been pushing him too hard and for too long, but they want him to keep an eye on him before he cracks. quote:M. cracking up! The idea was unthinkable. And yet the more Bond thought about it, the more possible it seemed. But what to do? M. was not the sort of man one could invite out for a drink and ask to share his troubles. He was a guarded unforthcoming man and Bond had no idea what went on behind that lined, distinguished-looking face. Nor had he any more idea about his private life. M. kept it rigidly apart from his work. Indeed, the more Bond started thinking about him, the more he realized just how little he knew about this man who ruled his life. Bond calls Hammond at Quarterdeck, but he refuses to say anything private. Molony has heard nothing. Tanner calls but can't get anything. After Bond gets another worried call from the MOD, the Hammonds suddenly call him and ask to meet at a tea shop in Windsor. They're now worried enough about him that they're intervening, as long as Bond swears not to tell M about their meeting. quote:‘For some time now, Sir Miles just hasn't been himself. He's off his food, and he's so snappy with us both.’ Technically, Bond and Tanner's obligation is to inform the head of internal security services. But they and the Secret Service have long been at odds with each other, and (especially if their suspicions are unfounded) this will inevitably cause drama. They resolve to investigate themselves. First, Tanner works with the Post Office to have M's phone tapped (as Chief of Staff, he can pretend M approved the order). quote:At the same time, Bond began checking on all M.'s acquaintances. There was a younger brother, once an Oxford don and now retired. There were a few friends from the navy. There were, as far as Bond could see, no women in his life. He tried to find out more about M.'s holiday. He had apparently gone alone. Bond rang a friend in the Greek Embassy to ask about the island of Spirellos. With silk stocking masks and gloves, Bond and Tanner perform a perfect burglary with a glass cutter. Within seconds, they have the phone line cut and Del Lungo and his girl bound and gagged. quote:There were three big filing cabinets in the studio that led off from the bedroom, and they were filled with negatives. Somewhere, presumably, among this mass of celluloid lay the few pictures that could destroy M.'s reputation and career. But there was no guide to where they were. There was no filing system. Every negative had to be examined. ....yes, what has this story been up to? quote:It was just after four when two figures climbed out of the first-floor window of the block of flats, slid down onto a garage roof, then disappeared into the shadows of a wall. Five minutes later, James Bond and William Tanner of the Secret Service were driving safely back to Chelsea. On the way they stopped at a telephone box and rang the police to tell them there had been a burglary at the photographer's address. I should point out that we're around the end of the book. This is our big climax. quote:But that wasn't quite the end of the story. Presumably M. got his photographs, and certainly he had no more phone calls from the man who took them. Bond's spot of burglary had saved the Secret Service from a squalid piece of blackmail. But two days later Bond discovered more about the pictures. They were not quite what he and Tanner had originally imagined.
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2020 20:29
|
|
|
Well okay. I was halfway expecting that he was going to have M blackmailed for being gay since we haven’t hit that bingo square yet. The Herbert Hoover FBI thing is just inexcusable.
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2020 21:31
|
|
|
I feel bad for anyone who bought this book when it was new.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2020 00:32
|
|
|
All those books Pearson left unwritten would make for a nice career for someone who knows the period and is ok writing licensed fiction. Except maybe the Hungarian zoo thing. I don't now how you can seriously sell that story again.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2020 06:29
|
|
|
Somebody Awful posted:I feel bad for anyone who bought this book when it was new. Hell, I feel sorry for chito having to read it now. It's boring enough in excerpt form; I dread to imagine the tedium of reading the whole thing, enlivened only by eyerolling historical errors and infuriating making GBS threads on Bond girls. How many have we had now? Honeychile Rider, gold-digging fame-hound bitch; Tiffany Case, cheating bitch who brooooke his heart; Tatiana Romanova, nympho bitch who nearly killed Bond with her nympho nymphoness; Vivienne Michel, wannabe Mills&Boon-writing bitch; Gala Brand, non-existent bitch because NO WOMAN IN EXISTENCE WOULD TURN DOWN JAMES BOND HA HA. Having it end on the utterly anticlimactic climax of M getting his dick out for a bit of sunbathing on a Greek island seems... fitting, somehow.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2020 09:29
|
|
|
Chapter 15: 'The Bastard's Gone'quote:Honeychile gave a party. The beautiful white yacht, the flawless evening with the full moon rising, candlelight and good champagne, the island glittering against a phosphorescent sea – it should have been romantic. Instead that whole evening seemed unreal and quite extraordinarily sad. The telegram from M. had settled things. Bond was resigning from the Secret Service and marrying Honeychile. The party was to celebrate the fact. Yes, yes, all women are manipulative bitches, I get it Pearson. quote:‘Well, she's succeeded – like the tiger,’ I replied. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCV9oqtwyVA Or perhaps this would be more appropriate? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeJ03t89wJE quote:He had promised to conclude his story whilst he and Honey stayed on in Bermuda to complete formalities for their marriage – ‘that will be my last task for the Secret Service’. (Honey apparently had wanted the invaluable Captain Cullum to give them a shipboard wedding. Bond had vetoed the idea.) He also said he needed to make his official resignation from the Service. This would apparently take a little time. On Her Majesty's Secret Service took place in the aftermath of Bond saving M from being blackmailed through pictures of him at a nudist colony. The book accurately described Bond drafting his letter of resignation and his saving Tracy from her suicide attempt in the ocean. And the story of Blofeld's plastic surgery and plot to spread disease through mass hypnosis was accurate (again, despite Moonraker being silly fiction). quote:But Bond clearly felt that Fleming had failed to do justice to his love for Tracy. ‘When I decided I would marry her it wasn't quite the spur-of-the-moment thing he makes it seem. We had it all carefully planned out. Both of us realized that we had to settle down and that this was suddenly our chance. I was still debating whether to leave the Secret Service. I hadn't quite decided, but I would certainly have moved out of the 00 section – it wouldn't have been fair to her to have stayed. We also planned to give up the flat and move out of London – probably to Kent. I even found a house for sale that would have suited us – on the cliffs above St Margaret's Bay. You could see France from the bedroom windows.’ I feel like Pearson is trying to make an intentional parallel between James Bond and Tracy and Andrew and Teresa Bond here. A relatively staid Scot paired with a wild, wealthy young girl from continental Europe who (in the book) displayed symptoms of borderline personality disorder. quote:‘As you know, that madman Blofeld had to destroy it all. Even today I sometimes find myself unable to believe what happened. When the assignment finished I took my two weeks’ leave and we were married in Munich. We'd finally succeeded and we were very happy. That of course was the trouble. I still reproach myself for what occurred. Normally I'd have been on my guard and Blofeld wouldn't have been able to get away with it. For that matter, instead of marrying Tracy, I should still have been after him. Instead of which I let him go. Still, one pays for one's mistakes. Or rather, this time Tracy did.’ "The Curse of Bond" had reared its head, and Bond felt like it was a sign that he was condemned never to escape life in the Service. quote:He lit another cigarette and then the telephone rang in the room. I got up to answer it. The operator said, ‘London on the line.’ There was a pause, the line clicked, and another voice said crisply, ‘Universal Export for Commander Bond.’ I called him in. I heard him say, ‘Oh, hullo Bill. You at last. Where have you been? Yes certainly – I've quite made up my mind.’ Then he said, ‘Oh, I see.’ And then, annoyingly, he shut the door. When Bond returns the next morning, he never mentions the call and goes right back into his story. With Tracy dead, all of Bond's assignments seem to go wrong. quote:The worst was the Prenderghast Affair and once again Bond's luck let him down; this time, however, with results that shook the whole structure of the Secret Service. Prenderghast was Station Head in Rome. Bond had known him for years and liked him. He had a distinguished record as a Fleet Air Arm pilot during the war and later served with Bond for some years in the 00 section. For the past five years he had been in Rome, and Bond never failed to see him when he was in the city. For Prenderghast was fun. He knew all the gossip and his apartment just behind the Via dei Coronari was a splendid place for lunch. Bond also found him a good friend and a sympathetic listener. He was intelligent, efficient and he knew his job. This was mentioned briefly in You Only Live Twice with limited context. Like the Hungarian Revolution job, it was one of several assignments brought up that had relatively normal and mundane results that would not be out of place in real world spying. Considering that Pearson turned "Bond jumped off a train to escape enemy agents" to "Bond broke naked out of a zoo by giving a gorilla a panic attack, tripped into the bad guy to kill him, and jumped off a train with a hot babe", I don't have high hopes for Prenderghast. quote:Tanner had agreed but added that something would have to be done – probably a transfer for young Croxson at the earliest opportunity. In the meantime it might be useful for someone experienced from Headquarters to go out to Italy and have a quiet word with Croxson and with Prenderghast. Quite unofficially of course, but often a tactful word or two could prevent a nasty scandal. Bond agreed. Tanner suggested that a trip to Italy at that time of year could be enjoyable. And a few days later, Bond found himself aboard an early morning flight to Milan. Does Bond keep a diary? How does he perfectly remember every meal and drink of his life dating back 40 years? quote:Then all hell broke loose. The Italian press seized on the case. Prenderghast was accused by Croxson's widow as the man responsible for her husband's death. That same evening he was named as the organizer of a homosexual diplomatic network in Rome. More accusations followed and in the midst of this furore, Prenderghast lost his nerve. Two officers of British security caught him as he was about to board a Czech aircraft at Fiumicino. He was brought back to London, and at the Old Bailey, some months later, Prenderghast was sentenced to a total of thirty years for treason. The trial was held in camera, but Bond read a transcript of the evidence. It proved every word of Croxson's accusations. Remember how in the actual book, all of Bond's failings are directly related to his non-stop drinking due to his depression over his wife's murder making him utterly useless? These stories are so...detached. quote:Bond was somewhat vague about the Japanese affair, although he did confirm in outline Fleming's version of this most bizarre of all assignments. He went originally to make a deal of sorts with the Japanese Secret Service; they had a cyphering machine which could decode the very top classified Soviet information, and, thanks to Bond, we got it. But in the process he became involved with his old enemy, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, who had moved here from Switzerland and set up a suicide establishment in an old castle near Kyoto. Because of this the mission ultimately turned into a journey of revenge. Was Pearson just in a loving hurry? Casino Royale had salacious and pulp-inspired details added to make it sound fanciful, Moonraker is total fiction, but every single tale of SPECTRE is totally real without question? This isn't even faintly creative. quote:‘Was she your ideal woman then?’ This will not be the last time we see James Suzuki here! quote:‘And does he know that you're his father?’ Dude I forgot this Bond had a brother. quote:Bond was so obviously keen to talk about his son that it was difficult to get him to complete his story – especially as he clearly didn't care to discuss in detail the episode that followed his time in Japan. This was the period when he was brainwashed by the Russians before being sent back to England with one deadly purpose – to murder M. Beyond a brief remark about ‘using certain drugs and playing on my subconscious resentment of old M.’ Bond wouldn't talk about how this was done. When I tried asking him if they used Freudian techniques to tap his hostility to all father figures he simply said that it was ‘a murky business’, and that the reconditioning treatment from Sir James Molony quite obliterated the memory of what had happened. As for M., he said that the old man was remarkably calm about the bungled assassination bid which James Bond attempted with the Russian cyanide pistol. Bond had been seeing Fleming more often with all these Jamaica trips. He's seen most of the Bond films, though he's made no royalties off them and he was a bit perplexed at seeing Sean Connery imitating him on the big screen. Fleming had the bright idea for the ultimate prank: bring James Bond to the premiere of Dr. No. quote:‘And then?’  As we all know, Bond prefers the trilby. quote:‘And what about the Secret Service? It's really over? All these calls to you from London. They're not trying to make you change your mind?’ Augustus the waiter comes up to look for Bond, as Stephenson is on the phone for him. Stephenson asks Pearson to come up to the penthouse. quote:I took the private lift up to the big glass penthouse on the roof. It was the first time I'd been back there since the evening I arrived. Sir William greeted me. He had three guests with him. One was a short, elderly man with bushy eyebrows and dark piercing eyes; one had a scarred, amusing-looking face; and the third was boyish-looking with wild grey hair. So does this establish that Colonel Sun is also real in Pearson's world? quote:I had wondered if the Honeychile had put to sea, but luckily it was still moored beside the quay. There was no sign of life aboard her, but as we trooped up the gang-plank, we were immediately met by the bland, all-purpose sea-dog, Captain Cullum. He was not over-welcoming. Bond sticks his head out the porthole in surprise. The men all gather on the deck with champagne while Honey does stuff Pearson probably thinks bitchy women do in private. quote:‘M. sends his regards.’ I feel like they could have just sent a telegram. quote:‘That was a bit excessive wasn't it? Just to be here to see me getting married?’ After dinner, everyone meets in Stephenson's penthouse. Even Augustus is serving drinks. quote:‘And so,’ I heard Bond saying from the far side of the room, ‘suppose you tell us just what all this is about.’ Never let the Australians name anything again. quote:‘Impossible,’ said Bond. ‘There's no such place.’ But Moonraker was too silly to be real quote:‘How big is it?’ asked Bond. I legitimately can't believe how bad this ending is. quote:There was silence in the room and I was grateful for the way Augustus tactfully refilled my glass. ‘How did this happen?’ Bond asked finally. From the source of all evil in this world: the dark fortress of Crumper's Dick. quote:‘Is that possible?’ said Bond. If he's the only man who can recognize her, why do they have all of these sightings and intel on her operation and exactly where it's located? quote:But Bond just shrugged his shoulders. As dawn arrives, there's no sign of James Bond and the men start getting ready to climb aboard the Vulcan...until he suddenly comes tearing in behind the wheel of the Corniche. quote:He seemed quite breezy, quite unruffled, and gave no explanation why he had come. Let's not and say you did. quote:Then he turned to Honeychile who was still sitting in the car. She was no longer the tough Mrs Schultz. Her face seemed pale beneath its sun-tan, her eyes unnaturally bright. Bond kissed her and I heard him saying, ‘Soon, darling, soon. I'll soon be back.’ Hope they don't fly too high in that thing, if they're all just in their suits. quote:Honey had left the car, and was standing all alone, watching as the bomber gathered speed. She didn't wave, but when she saw me she said flatly, ‘I was the one who made him go. He said he wouldn't but I knew he'd always blame me if he didn't. Just the same, I never thought …’ And that's it, the worst of all the books we've read. A marvelous example in mediocrity at best, outright offensive to Fleming's memory and the concept of literature itself at worst. I have no shame in saying it should never be read. Next, we go on to two film novelizations written by the films' scriptwriter. They are....something.
|
|
#
?
May 12, 2020 00:39
|
|
|
I'm actually a little surprised whoever controlled the Bond literary rights at the time let it get published as it is, given how it goes out of its way to poo poo on just about all of Fleming's books and the movies too.
|
|
#
?
May 12, 2020 01:16
|
|
|
I wonder if Pearson just plain hates this character...if he's deliberately making GBS threads all over him.
|
|
#
?
May 12, 2020 01:29
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 26, 2024 22:01 |
|
|
 I have previously said that to understand the book, one must understand the author. That is no more apparent than with Christopher Wood.  Christopher Hovelle Wood (1935-2015) was born in Lambeth, London. To protect him from the Blitz, Wood was sent by his parents to the King Edward VI Grammar School in Norwich; this would very nearly be a mistake, as the medieval school next door would be bombed in the Baedeker Blitz (which was aimed at destroying cultural and historic sites and attacking civilians). He moved on to King's College School in Wimbledon, where he claimed that the staff was infested with "drunken, mentally disturbed, sexual predators." After graduating from Cambridge in 1960, he became a writer. He didn't achieve very much success until 1971 with the publication of Confessions of a Window Cleaner, a sex comedy masquerading as a biographical piece about a clumsy and insecure window cleaner whose accidents repeatedly get him into situations where he's forced to have sex with beautiful, aggressive women. It would be turned into a 1974 film, which received poor reviews but was enough of a box office success to eventually lead to 19 books with the same premise transposed to different jobs. Several more received films, which continued to be successful but received increasingly exasperated reviews. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68VUnM-bgBg So how did a farcical sex comedy writer with a reputation for lowbrow American Pie-style films find himself helming not one, but two Bond films? Wood had written Seven Nights in Japan, a 1976 drama about a fictional prince (based on Prince Charles) and his romance with a local tour bus guide on a trip to Japan. The director, Lewis Gilbert, just happened to be the director for the next two Bond films. He enjoyed his work with Wood and felt that he had more potential than his Confessions series. The Spy Who Loved Me had gone through numerous script revisions at this point, so why not get Wood to fix it up? Amazingly, he turned out to be right on that count. The Spy Who Loved Me became a smash success at the box office after toning down the campiness of The Man with the Golden Gun and is widely regarded as one of the most classic Bond films. Unfortunately, lightning would not quite strike twice; the sudden success of Star Wars led to the original plans being scrapped to hastily push out an adaptation of Moonraker, which was an even bigger success but received mixed reviews and is still not looked on very fondly. Even Wood disapproved of the adaptation, though he felt hamstrung by Cubby Broccoli's insistence on making a sci-fi film and didn't dare talk back. The novelization of The Spy Who Loved Me was the first time a novelization of any of the films had been approved by Eon. Wood wrote it while the movie was still being filmed, which resulted in some changes being made to the book that he wanted to implement in the screenplay but was unable to. He also wanted to connect the continuity back to Fleming's original novels, resulting in some changes to characters and the action to feel like a sequel. Kingsley Amis liked Wood's writing overall, but I've found one major problem with the books: this dude is horny. There's a frankly ridiculous amount of sexually charged dialogue and descriptions that makes it very apparent that, despite his attempts at intentionally imitating Fleming's style, this dude is a famous smut writer. As such, for these two books I will be implementing the Horny Counter. It shall mark every time Christopher Wood unnecessarily incorporates something sexual into the books, often in a way that makes the reader feel awkward or uncomfortable.
|
|
#
?
May 12, 2020 13:51
|
|