- DreamingofRoses
- Jun 27, 2013
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Nap Ghost
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Please don’t bully PhD students. (Graduates are another thing entirely ).
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May 10, 2020 15:21
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 9, 2024 08:30
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- houstonguy
- Jun 2, 2005
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 Cat Army
2nd Battalion
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My wife and I got falsely reported to CPS by our neighbors. Despite the report being anonymous, I know who did it, because their 8 year old kid told me their parents called.
posted:
My wife and I got falsely reported to CPS by our neighbors. Despite the report being anonymous, I know who did it, because their 8 year old kid told me their parents called.
Title is the TL:DR.
A bit of backstory. My 3 year old child is developmentally disabled, as well as has a few physical issues. This means my child has issues with speech, learning, is not spatially aware, and lacks physical strength in specific parts of their body. They run into things often, they fall over a lot, and they generally hurt them selves a lot while playing. When our child goes outside, they hurt themselves more often, due to the gravel on our property, as well as the multitude of outside obstacles such as trees, bushes, and any other sort of obstacle you would normally encounter in the wide world.
We have been taking our child to therapy for the multitude of issues they have for over 6 months now. Recently, the weather has been getting better, so we have been going outside a bit more to try and let our kid play in the sun so they can exercise and hopefully improve their physical strength, because we have been unable to go to therapy due to the corona virus.
Joe (not real name), an 8 year old kid in our neighborhood, frequently plays outside with his cousin, Hailey (also not real name), a 3 year old.
I know they frequently go without any adult supervision wandering around the neighborhood, because my wife and I have seen them outside alone at least 3-5 times a week. Joe has even told us sometimes that Hailey will get completely lost for hours on end, because she will go wandering off and they will have to look for her.
Since we have been taking our kid outside to play on the playground and trampoline we bought them for Christmas they've been unable to use due to weather, Joe and Hailey have asked if they can play too. In the past few weeks, they have played with our kid a few hours every few days, whenever we get an opportunity to go outside when it's warm enough and not wet.
This past Thursday, after my wife and child had been playing outside with Joe and Hailey, it was time for our kids nap. Joe wanted to know if our kid could come back out after their nap to play more and wanted to know a time. My wife told them we would probably be back outside around 5 pm.
5 pm rolls around, and they knock on our door. My wife answers and talks to them, and then goes to get our kid up from their nap to come play outside. Apparently, Hailey ran in the house after my wife, and because Joe is the one that's usually watching her, he came in the house too.
We let our kid play around the house as much as they want in the mornings, and before it's time to go to bed, they have to clean up everything. This has become fairly routine, and for being 3, they have gotten quite good at picking up their toys. As it wasn't bedtime yet, the house was a mess. Our entryway goes directly into our living room, without any sort of buffer. Our house is not large enough for a dedicated play space, so this is what we use for our child to play in and have fun.
We also have those door handle things that prevent children from opening doors on lots of the doors in the house. One room connected to the living room is a bathroom with things our child is not supposed to play with, like chemicals under the sink, and the cat food and water. The other rooms are an office space (I work from home 100% of the time) and a game room, full of expensive computers, VR, Consoles, and TV equipment. Obviously, if we are not in these rooms, we don't want our child in them as well.
Apparently, after going into the house and seeing the door handle guards, and the mess of the living room, Joe started making a lot of assumptions. Joe is not a bad kid, but as far as I know, he frequently is on his own, as both his parents work, and his uncle who lives in the neighborhood is supposed to watch them. Obviously, as previously stated, he does not interact with a lot of people, and is usually very clingy when talking to my wife or I, running on the conversation nonstop, because he doesn't get much adult interaction as far as I'm aware.
Friday, I received a call from CPS saying that they had received an anonymous report that my wife and I locked our child up for the majority of the day, that our house was unsafe for children, and that we would leave the house without our child on a consistent basis. Our case wasn't considered high priority, so a social worker wouldn't be out until Monday to follow up and ask us questions.
None of these things are true. We go above and beyond for our child, and someone claiming these things about our family has me extremely upset. My wife has several mental problems such as depression, anxiety, and bi-polar. When I told her CPS had called and claimed all these things, she had a complete meltdown and started hurting herself, which she hasn't done in years. I had to spend 3 hours trying to calm her down, and tell her that no one was going to take our kid, that we knew all the things that were reported were a lie, and that we just have to lay that all out for CPS.
Yesterday, my wife took our child outside to play again, and Hailey comes running over to play. Joe of course, follows in tow. The entire time they're playing, Joe is avoiding eye contact and not talking at all. Very uncharacteristic.
Usually, they will play for an hour or 2. They only stayed around for about 20 minutes, before Joe says "We have to go, my parents said I need to not be around you guys after the phone call they made."
My wife mentions this to me, and it all clicks together, but it doesn't make any sense.
We have never bothered any of our neighbors in the 10 years we've lived here.
I'm livid. I want to sue Joe's parents for libel for their slanderous false reports. My wife says it's not worth it.
I'm beyond pissed. I want to report Joe and Hailey's current situation to CPS with recordings that I have from my house's security system showing them wandering around unattended. My wife says it will only make things worse.
I can't envision us continuing to live here after this event, but right now we can't afford to move. We own our house, but the COVID-19 situation has made saving an issue. Moving would cost a lot, and our house is not worth enough to simply trade sideways for a different one somewhere else.
What am I supposed to do? I'm so mad I can't see straight, that someone that we've never even met would take a 8 year old kid's word as gospel, and instantly report us to CPS without even talking to us. We've never so much as called the cops on our neighbors, much less social services.
Please help. What am I supposed to do about this situation?
This is one of those posts where you gradually realize something’s off. A developmentally disabled 3 year old constantly covered in bruises, a yard strewn with debris that injures said child, a wife that has a 3 hour self-harming meltdown when hearing bad news, and most damning of all, a forbidden man-child cave filled with gaming junk, which our hero should definitely have time for with his severely mentally ill wife and developmentally disabled three year old.
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May 10, 2020 15:42
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- COPE 27
- Sep 11, 2006
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My (23F) boyfriend (25M) of 5 months is convinced my dog has behavioral issues
This is the first time I ever read a story in which I didn't think a dog didn't had behavioural issues
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May 10, 2020 16:06
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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This is the first time I ever read a story in which I didn't think a dog didn't had behavioural issues
Refusing to eat without company to the point of actively starving I'd say is definitely one.
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May 10, 2020 16:15
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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AITA for disowning my brother when he came out as gay, because of how he's treating his wife?
quote:I (21f) have a brother (28) who came out as gay last month. He has been married to my best friend's big sister (24) for four years, they have 2yo twin daughters together. I'm really close with her, so I've been trying to stay neutral in what has become a messy separation.
My brother told his wife he's gay by sitting her down, and saying he had been sleeping with two different men for about six months. He said he is now sure that he feels romantic feelings for men, and also told her he has been sleeping with random men from Grindr for over a year behind her back. She obviously freaked out, asked him how he could do this, why didn't he tell her when he started having the feelings, etc. He said that he's always thought he was gay but he didn't want to come out because it might affect his career. She asked him what about the effect on her life? She is now a single mother to two toddlers. He was essentially very angry that she wasn't supportive of this, so he kicked her out of the house, with the kids. After she eventually found a place to stay, my brother moved in one of the men he has been having an affair with.
Since then, he has had very little contact with the kids, as in speaking to them on the phone once a week maybe. He has expressed that he still doesn't want to be public about coming out, so he posted on Facebook that he has separated from his wife because they aren't in love anymore and hinted SHE was the unfaithful one (posting things like 'yeah, seems like someone in this relationship wasn't satisfied with just one man') and is basically being a dick.
I told him a couple weeks ago that he's a loving rear end in a top hat and I don't want to be involved with him anymore because I think it's disgusting that he's treated his wife like this. I told him I get that you have to come out in your own time, but you don't need to kick her out, ignore your kids and berate her, and you don't need to make comments that people will assume mean she was being unfaithful (he said this was a joke about him having two partners now? still hosed up). He said I'm being a homophobic rear end in a top hat, and that I don't know how hard it is to come out. He said that if I don't accept him, I'm a bigot. He made mistakes and what not. I said maybe I will forgive him if he improves his behaviour to his wife, and he said he resents her for keeping him from sleeping with men for years. I gave up at this point. My sisters (17&24) both think I'm being homophobic, my mom agrees with me. AITA?
Now locked on Reddit but NTA
My Girlfriend (15) has Come Out to Me (15) as Male
quote:Hello! This is my first post here! I’m a 15 Year old male and I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for about 4 months and just today they came out to me as being a Male. I’ve been confused recently on my own sexuality because I’ve always been straight but have been slowly moving around all over the place. Anyway since the beginning of out relationship he has always been on the fence of where he falls. But then today he tells me that he feels all male and wants me to call him Will. I pretty much said that that is okay and he starts bawling because he was scared I hated him. (Obviously this is all on the phone) I tell my now boyfriend that It doesn’t matter to me because I don’t care if he was a floating brain in a tube of slime I still love him. Although he said he tried telling his parents but they took it... not well and tried to yell at him and criticize him... my boyfriend is extremely depressed and has anxiety so that doesn’t mix well. I comforted him and told him about my wonky confusion on if I like boys and I said that I am okay with him being male. He also said he wanted to change his gender physically too which I said was also okay because as long as he is the same person I am happy. Although I did kind of need to rant about this I also wanted to ask you guys what I can do to help him and I adjust to this and what I can do to make him more comfortable. (Gosh I hope that isn’t too general of a question) anyway, thank you so much and have a wonderful day everyone!
TL;DR: My partner came out as 100% male. Is there anything I should be aware about to make him more comfortable?
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May 10, 2020 16:16
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- Solus M.D.
- Oct 17, 2007
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what did i just post?
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AITA for keeping my son away from the delivery room?
quote:
My son (33M) and his wife(34F) have been having a lot of trouble in their marriage since she got pregnant with twins.
My son confessed that he was finding it harder and harder to be around her, and things got much worse for him when the babies would kick.
He is very much an adherent of healthy living, so it was hard for him when even when they had the whole family over, she would leave the table and devour leftover takeout food in the kitchen. And when he’d buy healthy food and offer her a gym membership, she would just yell at him.
What made it worse was the fact that his sister (20F) who gave birth in late December was comfortable in her pre baby clothes by mid January, and it made him feel like his wife was specifically not trying for him.
My son never cheated, yet his wife would pick fights about him texting other women who were his colleagues.
And a week ago, they had the biggest fight in their marriage in which he admitted that the babies kicking turned him off. She went ballistic and told him to leave her sight.
Two days later, we get a call from her mom that she was giving birth.
My son was contemplating whether he should be in the delivery room but I as a woman know that men get traumatized when seeing the baby come out.
In addition, I was terrified that he would get infected with some disease while in the hospital, which would not be good for any of the family.
So I told him to stay away and to make it up to her when she’s out of the hospital.
We end up getting a bunch of texts from my son’s MIL but nothing from his wife. We assumed that knowing my daughter in law, she probably would have screamed at my son to get out of her sight if he had entered the room, which would have caused him to be exposed to illness and not get to see the baby born anyway.
Now my daughter in law refuses to let my son and his family see his beautiful twin daughters and have named them something that my son didn’t agree to.
Despite the fact that many women have been giving birth alone and my son had promised to make it up to her. Her friends are also sending him nasty messages.
AITA for preventing what would have been permanent mental scarring for my son, scarring that would have further hurt their marriage? I really feel like I was trying to save my daughter in law from being viewed in an irreparably different way by my son.
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May 10, 2020 16:25
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- wizardofloneliness
- Dec 30, 2008
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Refusing to eat without company to the point of actively starving I'd say is definitely one.
It is, but it's not a reason to keep the dog away from other dogs or people like the boyfriend was saying. The boyfriend just sounded like one of those weirdos who gets jealous over a pet for taking their SOs attention away from them.
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May 10, 2020 16:26
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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AITA for disowning my brother when he came out as gay, because of how he's treating his wife?
This fucker cheating on his wife like he had to powerlevel his way out of the closet lmao
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May 10, 2020 16:29
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- Cythereal
- Nov 8, 2009
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I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
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AITA for disowning my brother when he came out as gay, because of how he's treating his wife?
Gay people can be assholes, too.
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May 10, 2020 16:32
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- Cyks
- Mar 17, 2008
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The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life
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I can't really fault the person for not knowing. The popular understanding of "Doctor" as a form of address is that it's reserved for medical doctors. You ask the average person and no one would think to address a doctor of philosophy or a doctor of sociology as "Doctor" because it would seem weird.
Anybody who has ever taken a semester of college courses should know that the person who taught them calculus or history class wasn't a MD. OP claims to be a physician, they know how it works
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May 10, 2020 16:35
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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It is, but it's not a reason to keep the dog away from other dogs or people like the boyfriend was saying. The boyfriend just sounded like one of those weirdos who gets jealous over a pet for taking their SOs attention away from them.
Oh, absolutely. The type that's come up a lot itt, the person who can't have any feature of their SO's life not revolve around meeee.
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May 10, 2020 16:45
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- DreamingofRoses
- Jun 27, 2013
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Nap Ghost
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AITA for keeping my son away from the delivery room?
Well, your son won’t have to worry about getting turned off by his (ex) wife very soon. Good on you for helping your daughter in law see what kind of a man her husband is.
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May 10, 2020 16:48
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- wizardofloneliness
- Dec 30, 2008
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Oh, absolutely. The type that's come up a lot itt, the person who can't have any feature of their SO's life not revolve around meeee.
Yeah, the existence of these people is something this thread has taught me. The idea of a grown man or woman getting jealous over a dog or cat or a loving lizard is completely ridiculous, but here we are.
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May 10, 2020 17:06
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- DreamingofRoses
- Jun 27, 2013
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Nap Ghost
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I have to wonder how much of this is her disapproval of her daughter in law. It kinda sounds too bad, since she basically caused the estrangement.
I dunno, buying a woman who’s pregnant with twins a gym membership and telling her you’re ‘turned off’ by the baby kicking seem to be their own special decisions
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May 10, 2020 17:26
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- Dixville
- Nov 4, 2008
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I don't think!
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Ham Wrangler
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AITA for not addressing my cousin’s fiancée using “Dr” on my wedding invitiations?
I was going to ask how did she find out about the other invitations; op says they have mutual dentist friends who were addressed as Dr. in their invitation
Ugh some people are such prima donnas. Lord forbid you aren't addressed as DOCTOR all the time
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May 10, 2020 17:40
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- wizardofloneliness
- Dec 30, 2008
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AITA for keeping my son away from the delivery room?
If this guy is seriously that traumatized by the babies kicking then he probably wouldn't survive seeing the delivery. It's no surprise that the husband sucks so much given his mom's incredibly weird opinions though.
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May 10, 2020 17:41
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- pentyne
- Nov 7, 2012
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Yeah, the existence of these people is something this thread has taught me. The idea of a grown man or woman getting jealous over a dog or cat or a loving lizard is completely ridiculous, but here we are.
These people get loving jealous over their own children
AITA for saying “I love you more than anything” to my daughter in front of my wife
quote:
My daughter is 3, and sometimes gets scared I’ll stop loving her when she does something bad(for no good reason mind you, I make sure she always knows why I’m upset, and that I’m mad at her actions, not her). Today she bumped a glass off the table and started crying.
She asked if I still love her and I said “I love you more than anything” and gave her a kiss. My wife was watching and stormed off. I made sure my daughter was fine and cleaned up the glass and went to go see what was going on.
My wife was crying and calling me an rear end in a top hat who doesn’t love her (I guess I have 2 irrational 3 years olds now). I said of course I love her and asked why she was wigging out.
She said that because I said the above phrase to my daughter, it meant she didn’t mean as much to me. Is this really something I’m not supposed to say? My mother said it to me, and my dad didn’t freak out.
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May 10, 2020 17:43
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- Dixville
- Nov 4, 2008
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I don't think!
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Ham Wrangler
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I'm a veterinarian and I get mail mostly addressed as Miss Dixville not Dr Dixville and idgaf
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May 10, 2020 17:58
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- Guilty
- May 3, 2003
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Ask me about how people having a bad reaction to MSG makes them racist, because I've never heard of gluten sensitivity
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There's a difference between saying hi to a neighbor and trying to elevate your wedding into formal territory by addressing everyone else by their formal title but for some reason passing judgment on someone else's preferred field of study. That person could easily have invited Jane Doe Ph.D as a sign of respect instead of titling Ms. Jane Doe
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May 10, 2020 18:11
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- pentyne
- Nov 7, 2012
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My boyfriend's female friend thinks she owns him. Should I tell her husband?
quote:She and I were friends as well, somewhat, and I tried to downplay her behavior because she uses my SO as some kind of surrogate for her dead brother.
Her husband asked her to stop being friends with him, because their relationship makes him uncomfortable and insecure. So he asked that she temporarily cut off contact, and they'd reassess at a later date. She did so, begrudgingly. While bitching to me and ignoring her husband because she was angry he would make her do that. I tried to be understanding. But her behavior is often inappropriate. She calls him her person, will sit in his lap, play with his hair, give him kisses, bring him food. She once professed to me that he's the most handsome man she's ever seen and wonders what he would be like in bed.
She and I had a falling out when she came to me over an argument she and her husband had. It had been a month since she cut contact, and she came to him demanding she be allowed to continue her friendship. She told him she couldn't survive without "her person" and how it was torture to be without him. Her husband put his foot down and told her he still isn't ready.
She came to me looking for sympathy and I quite plainly told her that she was wrong and she had probably hurt her husband very much with what she said.
She of course lashed out. She got angry with me, and THEN she texted MY boyfriend to tell him to "get a handle on me". He told her I did nothing wrong other than state the truth. He has tried to gain some distance after realizing that their friendship was harming others, and has stuck by it--maintaining very little contact.
I think her husband deserves to know the full extent of her behavior. That she thinks my boyfriend will take her word, and pick her over me. That apparently they're that close in her mind. That her admiration for him borders on obsession.
Maybe I shouldn't be the one to say it, but I think he deserves better. He shouldn't have to be trapped with someone who's in love with someone else, and I don't think he has any idea the extent of it. He doesn't know what she's told me, what I've seen her do.
Should I tell her husband?
Updates
quote:I'm not entirely sure. He's reassured me that it would never be the case, I know he used to be friends with her husband too but it fell apart as she became more possessive of my SO. So he has told me he'd never want to hurt her husband. I want to believe him, of course, but it's hard not to be insecure over it.
quote:That's a fair point. He and I have had a fairly open relationship (it's not completely open, but flexible based on the occasion), but hers is not.
quote:She's the type to track me down and physically attack me. So I am especially hesitant.
pentyne fucked around with this message at 18:39 on May 10, 2020
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May 10, 2020 18:31
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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the popular understanding of who gets called doctor is the one that matters
Anyone who went to college would probably know a PhD as a doctor or professor then? Unless they specify otherwise you address faculty as Dr X or Professor Y etc.
Which is of course why the OP specified in their post they knew they could/should use doctor, but actively chose not to as some weird dig and thinking they had only earned the title on a technicality.
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May 10, 2020 18:36
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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I want to be honest.i WANT a particular girl
quote:Hi. I dont want to explain my personal life. I have crush on one particular girl. She likes me as a friend nothing else. She had boyfriend and now they both broke up. I have already a relationship. But i cant forget her.she is all over me. I want her badly.. Even this new relationship is just mere spending time and sleeping on bed. But i want her. I told her many times but she refused. Any honest advice. I want a spell.please. I don't want to ruin her life for sure. But i want to be with her not as a friend, till she find a partner.
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May 10, 2020 18:37
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for hiding my sexual past from my fiancé?
quote:I [28F] have been with my fiancé [29M] for three years. We met at my internship after I graduated college. Our relationship is perfect, sex life is amazing, and I love him to bits.
My dad was extremely abusive to me and my mom. It’s a dark time of my life that I’ve moved on from and I can honestly say that I am doing very well now.
This was not always the case. Growing up, I had severe body image issues and developed a number of eating disorders. They sort of took over my life until I would cough up blood regularly.
I wasn’t very self-confident so I could only replace my disorders with other obsessions: in college I started smoking copious amounts of pot and started having lots of sex at college parties, several times a week. During this time I participated in a number of… well, gangbangs.
After graduation, I moved states and starting caring for myself. I have been going to therapy for six years now, and I am doing very well. I can honestly say that the sex was the only thing that helped me accept myself and overcome my body image issues, including the gangbangs. It was always safe and protected, and I think it was a healthy experience.
When I met my current fiancé he was fresh out of a long term relationship so we talked, and we both agreed we wouldn’t go into each other’s sexual past, so I assumed he would be okay with whatever was part of it. Those were our boundaries and they worked very well for us.
Until a week ago. We were playing drunk truth or dare, and he asked me if I had ever been in a gangbang. I felt uncomfortable answering the question, since it was outside our established boundaries, but he got really insistent and I thought whatever. I told him, and he suddenly got quiet. He asked me how often. I said semi regularly, once or twice a month.
He went absolutely livid. I tried to explain to that I didn’t think he should be upset since I thought we had an agreement not to ask each other about our sexual histories, from which I assumed we were okay with whatever the other person might have done in the past. He said yes, but it was a reasonable assumption that “your fiancée didn’t ride a cock carousel every night”. He left the house in a huff. I broke down after he left and called my best friend from college, who told me he was an rear end in a top hat and not to worry about him.
He came back the next day, apologizing and saying he went to his buddy’s to cool off. I accepted it and just tried to forget about it, but he kept acting distant. Two days ago he told me he didn’t know if he could do this and that he would go and live with his parents for a while, and today he texted me saying he will come to the apartment with his brother next week to pick up his stuff and ring.
I have been an absolute mess since he left. My friends are telling me otherwise but I know I destroyed my future. I don’t know how I can live with myself anymore. All the thoughts I thought I’d defeated are coming back. Reddit, help me. Am I in the wrong here?
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May 10, 2020 18:49
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- Peaceful Anarchy
- Sep 18, 2005
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sXe
I am the math man.
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That person could easily have invited Jane Doe Ph.D as a sign of respect instead of titling Ms. Jane Doe
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May 10, 2020 18:58
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- MF_James
- May 8, 2008
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I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE
INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE
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AITA for hiding my sexual past from my fiancé?
This post is really sad but holy poo poo what a phrase a cock carousel, I'm definitely stealing this.
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May 10, 2020 19:09
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- pentyne
- Nov 7, 2012
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AITA for hiding my sexual past from my fiancé?
Being upset is one thing, calling your soon to be wife a "cock carousal" reveals far more about his mentality then anything else. That he did in in the context of a game, breaking their rules and then got really insistent she answer is a huge red flag for controlling behavior.
I'm sure if he "agrees" to go back to her she can never have or discuss any male friends or the first thing he says to her over it is to call her a whore and imply she's trying to whore around again for talking to other men.
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May 10, 2020 19:09
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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This post is really sad but holy poo poo what a phrase a cock carousel, I'm definitely stealing this.
The term "cock carousel" is coined from and used primarily (exclusively?) within the MGTOW/incel community, so it might give some people the wrong idea about you.
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May 10, 2020 19:13
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- Ugly In The Morning
- Jul 1, 2010
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Pillbug
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This post is really sad but holy poo poo what a phrase a cock carousel, I'm definitely stealing this.
That’s a big phrase in the incel community, you may not want to throw it around.
E:f,b
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May 10, 2020 19:15
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- zakharov
- Nov 30, 2002
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 Tater Love
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The Gaylord post got an update and whoooooo boy does it get wild
How can I (24F) salvage my marriage with my husband (23 M) after he just admitted he's been lying to me for 4 years? I would have never married him if I knew.
quote:My husband (23M) and I (24F) had a huge argument, and now he's gone to stay with his parents. After everything that was said, I feel like I don't even know him anymore. I thought we had a perfect relationship, but he's been lying to me ever since he met my family 4 years ago.
I don't know where to start, I'm such a mess right now because I'm 25 weeks pregnant with a baby boy and I don't even know if I want to stay married. My husband and his mother have been treating me like a science experiment behind my back ever since we started trying for a baby. His whole family and even his friends all knew. One was kind enough to message me and finally let me in on what he was doing. I confronted my husband last night, and he just admitted it all. He only ever wanted to have daughters with me, because my family has a firstborn son naming tradition that he doesn't like. I had no idea he felt this way. Instead of just telling me this from the start and sparing the both of us this pain, he pretended he was cool with the tradition and went along with his mother's new age bullshit.
My MIL was under the ridiculous assumption that because my mother only had female children, that I would only be able to have female children, forcing the name to skip another generation. She fed him woo-woo nonsense about how to time intercourse, which crystals to put beside my bed, what foods to feed me, and to even keep the house really warm all to make it impossible for me to have a boy. Obviously it didn't work out because I'm not a goddamn lizard, and now I'm 25 weeks pregnant with a baby boy he doesn't want. At least I know now why my husband was constantly bringing me swiss chard.
At first he tried to pull the old "I thought you were just joking, let's really come up with a name now" which failed miserably. I ended up making a post after he told me that, feeling crazy and everyone even sided with him and said I should have known he thought I was kidding. My post spread over twitter and tabloids, which his friends all saw and that's why one ended up messaging me. I knew that he couldn't have thought it was a joke because he's met my family enough times that it's been drilled into him that this isn't an option with us. I never would have married him if he'd just told me he couldn't accept my family name. Now he won't even agree to any sort of nickname, or using it as a middle name, when he initially said it was fine. I feel like I've been unfairly pushed into a marriage and pregnancy that I never would have chosen if he had been honest with me.
My father has assured me that the law gives me the right to name my son by myself, so this is what I sadly have to do because we can't even remotely come to an agreement. I'm thankful that my family has been so supportive of me through this mess. I just want life to go back to what it was a few weeks ago, when everyone was happy and things made sense. How am I supposed to cope with my husband and in-laws after they lied to me for so long?
TL;DR: Husband agreed years ago to an important traditional name for our firstborn son, and has now revealed he lied because his superstitious mother told him she could keep me from having male children. Meanwhile I'm 25 weeks pregnant with a boy. Where do I even begin fixing my relationship with my husband?
Edit: The name is GALE Smith. Smith isn't our actual last name, but it's a plain normal last name. What in the hell is wrong with Gale Smith? Please stop bringing over the garbage from the last thread. I'm looking for help with my husband lying, not baby names.
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May 10, 2020 19:16
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- MF_James
- May 8, 2008
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I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE
INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE
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The term "cock carousel" is coined from and used primarily (exclusively?) within the MGTOW/incel community, so it might give some people the wrong idea about you.
That’s a big phrase in the incel community, you may not want to throw it around.
E:f,b
Well that sucks, it could be such an amazing term used for more awesome things than demeaning women
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May 10, 2020 19:17
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- holtemon
- May 2, 2019
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Dancing is forbidden
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I get the wanting to know your partner's sex history, but don't ask if you really aren't ready for the answer. I don't ever ask cause I really don't wanna know. If someone asks me and really wants to know my past then I'll tell em and they can be happy or not with the answer.
And on the MD and PhD being called Doctor thing, what about a JD? Where does it end???
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May 10, 2020 19:18
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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AITA for hiding my sexual past from my fiancé?
Reddit detectives have declared this mgtow fanfiction. Apparently some of the language and details (cock carousal, monthly gangbangs) are common tropes on incel forums. Redditors would know.
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May 10, 2020 19:22
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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I can vaguely understand guys that get insecure when they learn their SO was a lot more sexually active/adventurous in the past from the context of "why isn't she as in to me as she was with them, does she not find me exciting or attractive, did she settle", it's still something they should get over, but their problem isn't so much with the sexual history as it is with their current relationship. When someone is just generally upset about the high number or w/e though I don't get it. Why does it matter, who cares?
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May 10, 2020 19:22
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 10, 2020 15:21
