r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

Boiled Water posted:

Danish licenses are in the same range. Most of the cost is driving lessons and learning the law so it's hard to hate.

Here in norway its the mandatory classes that kills your wallet. After i was finished with the regular driving lessons i figured hey this wasnt so bad, and then came stuff like night driving class, safety class, car and track rental etc and suddenly it was well over 20k nkr.

# ? May 11, 2020 12:23

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# ? May 1, 2024 15:47

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

My gf (21f) of 5 years says I (22m) cannot sleep with her again until marriage

quote:

So I�ve been with my gf for 5 years off and on. We met online and originally wanted to meet up to sleep with one another but ended up getting into a long distance relationship with one another. She moved in from out of state so we could go to college together and now she has moved back home to her family to deal with some family issues and hopes I follow her just as she followed me, but that�s a story for another time. I am about to graduate college and intend to go to law school next fall and now that I�ll have my bachelors degree, she is becoming increasingly insistent on me proposing to her, although I�ve told her on multiple occasions that I don�t want to until I�m ready to marry her, and able to provide a steady living for the both of us. I do eventually want to marry her, but I feel I�m too young and don�t feel I�m personally ready to be a husband. Recently she has said she has been praying and came up with the decision to not engage in sexual activities with me until we�re married. I questioned her on it, since she has said in the past the women who don�t put out, do so so men will propose sooner but I was scolded for questioning her faith. I love her very much and I really want things to work out, but from the start our talking to one another was based on sex, and I believe it�s necessary to have a functioning relationship but I�d feel like an rear end in a top hat for putting such an emphasis on sex. I really don�t know how to handle this so any advice?

# ? May 11, 2020 12:56

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My husband (25M) and I (25F) are both so lazy and need help

quote:

We've been together since early college, around 7 years. Married almost 1. Overall we're moderately successful. We both have careers and make good money. We rent a condo and are thinking about buying a house next year. We have good relationships with family and a few friends. But we struggle with a lot of things and I think it's mostly due to laziness.

We both have creative goals for ourselves and have a hard time working towards them. Birthdays are often a reminder of how much time we've wasted. We're both very out of shape but can't bring ourselves to exercise ever. We have a hard time keeping up with our respective friend groups on a regular basis and have lost connections as a result. Our condo is never really clean ever. We don't have sex often purely because it feels like a lot of work and watching TV just feels easier. It feels like we're just not living up to our potential in any way except with money.

We always express unhappiness about the situation but have never really been able to solve it. We individually and together have tried things here and there to fix it. Once we "ran" a 5k together. Sometimes we set up "dates" where we try and work on our respective projects, but often we end up easily distracted.

I don't know. My worry is that if I really want us to change, itll be up to me to drag him along. I could try working on things myself, but I don't feel supported in that. I'll try and engage my husband but he doesn't really think about things the same way I do. I kind of do most of the emotional labor (remembering these things, reminding him to do chores the rare times we do them).

I don't know. How can we become real adults together? We would like to have a child in the next five years but it feels like we'd be horrid parents.

tl;Dr My husband and I are irresponible and lazy

At least you mustered the strength to complete the Herculean task of posting on reddit.

# ? May 11, 2020 13:04

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I guess enjoy your life of being unmotivated together? I mean, it doesnt sound like either of you has the energy or inclination to get a dog, have a kid, have an affair, or really do anything to upset your comfortable existence so Im putting your marriage in the "resounding success" category.

# ? May 11, 2020 13:08

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

25 and too lazy to gently caress

lmao

# ? May 11, 2020 13:11

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Miss posted:

25 and too lazy to gently caress

lmao

Its probably not their fault, they dont make beds rated up to 1200 pounds

# ? May 11, 2020 13:13

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

i forgot the reddit rule that the OP is always fatter than you imagine

the quotation marks around "ran" are a bit of a tell

# ? May 11, 2020 13:17

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

How do I (23F) get it across to my husband (25M) that him being tired is not the same as when I'm tired?

quote:

Using my novelty account because my husband knows my main.

I am currently four months pregnant with me and my husband's first child. The first trimester was really rough. I slept about twelve to fourteen hours a day and lost about 15 pounds from morning sickness. Ever since getting into my second trimester it has only improved slightly. I don't constantly feel sick, but I have no appetite and trying to eat with no appetite makes me sick.

My husband recently talked to me about me slacking in my part of the housework. We both work full time and split the housework evenly. I fully admit and own that I've let my duties slip and promised him I would work harder at doing my part. My problem is this:

I explained to him the reason I've let things slip is I'm exhausted. The baby is taking most of my energy and fueling my body is hard because of my loss of appetite. I don't sleep as much as I did, but I still go to bed super early. I told him I was sorry and it wasn't an excuse to let things go, but I needed him to understand I was very tired. He responded with, "Yeah, I'm tired too sometimes."

He suggests working out and eating certain foods to give me energy, but doesn't seem to get that I don't have the energy to do anything but crash after a full day of work and errands.

I don't think he understands that there is a monumental difference between our versions of "tired". He is a wonderful and supportive husband and has been great through this pregnancy, but he just doesn't seem to understand that when I say the baby has taken all my energy, I literally mean ALL of it. How can I get him to realize that I'm exhausted?

tl;dr- Husband doesn't seem to understand how exhausting my pregnancy is. How do I get him to understand?

# ? May 11, 2020 13:20

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Miss posted:

i forgot the reddit rule that the OP is always fatter than you imagine

the quotation marks around "ran" are a bit of a tell

quote:

He isn't happy with the way things are. He claims that because I'm stubborn he doesn't try to spearhead any change for us because I resist. And he has a point, when we tried to train for that 5k I always avoided going on runs to practice so I was barely able to finish. So I understand why he feels discouraged, but in my point of view it feels like most of the changes we make are because of me. I don't know. We're both lazy and stubborn but we both know that we're going to be unhappy if we keep living like this. And he doesn't really make me feel unsupported, I just wish I had him as a partner. Like the times I've tried to eat healthy, he keeps asking for us to get fast food. Or he brings home dessert because it's basically the only thing that makes me instantly happy when I'm sad. He means well. It's not his fault. It just feels like a daunting task to lift myself up, let alone both of us.

# ? May 11, 2020 13:24

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

My [23F] mother [54F] didn't realize how much I helped out around the house until I moved out and now she wants me back

quote:

I have a big family. I grew up living with two younger brothers, one younger sister, grandparents, and my mom and dad. I'm significantly the oldest kid in my family; 8 years older than John (my brother, the second oldest in the house).

My parents never assigned chores to any of us growing up but I helped out around the house a lot. I've just always been very cleanly and organized, and I never minded it. I was always cleaning, vacuuming, doing dishes, helping cook, doing the family's laundry, etc. Nobody forced this role on me, but nobody really appreciated it or thanked me either. Again, I didn't really mind. I was just being a dutiful daughter/responsible person.

I lived at home through college (I grew up in my college town so I just commuted). A few months ago, however, I had decided that I had saved enough money and got an apartment with some of my college friends.

Apparently, since I have moved out, our family situation has become chaotic and my mom feels overwhelmed. No one helps her at all with any chores. She basically told me that she had no idea how much I was helping out around the house until I moved out. Because I was always doing stuff without being asked, she didn't really know who was keeping everything clean and just assumed it was a joint effort from the whole family. Now that nobody is around to silently look after everyone, everything is a mess. Everyone in my home has developed a string of messy bad habits because somebody else was taking care of them all the time.

She said it's my responsibility that no one in the family has learned to properly take care of themselves growing up, and wants me to move back home. I don't know if I should do it. I guess growing up, especially with my younger siblings, I was just always the default babysitter. I was just used to taking care of them, so even when they got to the age where they were old enough to take care of themselves, I was too far in the habit. I don't know how me moving back home will totally fix that, though, but I do feel a little responsible.

tl;dr: Grew up taking care of my family and household duties. I moved out and my home has become a mess. No one realized how much I cleaned up around the house until I was gone, and now my mom wants me to move back.

[UPDATE] My [23F] mother [54F] didn't realize how much I helped out around the house until I moved out and now she wants me back

quote:

tl;dr original: Grew up taking care of my family and household duties. I moved out and my home has become a mess. No one realized how much I cleaned up around the house until I was gone, and now my mom wants me to move back.

I was kind of surprised by how much everyones response to my mother was a resounding no. It made me feel silly for even considering it; there was really no benefit to keep enabling my mom and move back home.

Well, Reddit, I'm sad to say that turning my mom down was the first time I had ever really stood up to her, and it did not go well. She instantly starting gulit tripping me -- how she had raised me, how family was everything, how I was being selfish and abandoning her

When that didn't work, her insults turned more aggressive. She said I owed her money -- the money it cost to raise me, put me through college (my parents paid partial tuition), the accumulation of "rent" for letting me live at home during college (at no point had we ever discussed this), etc. Again, she pressed that I was taking advantage of the family by not moving back home and helping out.

I don't wanna get into much detail because I am still very, very sad about how this has turned out, but my mom hasn't responded to my calls in weeks. She's antagonized me against the whole family, telling my siblings that I did something ambiguously terrible and am abandoning the family. I had a phone conversation with my sister Rachel, who said something along the lines of "mom said you did something really mean to her, she won't tell us what, but she said that's why she made you move out." I've never been really close to my siblings, but I'm kind of taken aback how little anyone seems to care that I'm gone.

Recently my mom put up a picture on Facebook of the whole family, with me absent, captioned "The only people in my life I'll ever need."

I'm trying to focus on my work and my friends to get through this, but I am in a very sad place right now.

tl;dr Mom didn't take it well that I'm not moving home. She's completely cut me out of her life and is trying to turn my family against me.

# ? May 11, 2020 13:32

DreamingofRoses: Jun 27, 2013; Nap Ghost

LadyPictureShow posted:

My husband (25M) and I (25F) are both so lazy and need help

At least you mustered the strength to complete the Herculean task of posting on reddit.

That honest to god sounds like how I was/kind of am with ADHD

# ? May 11, 2020 13:34

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

Miss posted:

My [23F] mother [54F] didn't realize how much I helped out around the house until I moved out and now she wants me back

[UPDATE] My [23F] mother [54F] didn't realize how much I helped out around the house until I moved out and now she wants me back

OP realises that their mum sucks in the comments of the update and resolves to :sever:

Love a happy ending.

# ? May 11, 2020 13:40

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Miss posted:

My [23F] mother [54F] didn't realize how much I helped out around the house until I moved out and now she wants me back

[UPDATE] My [23F] mother [54F] didn't realize how much I helped out around the house until I moved out and now she wants me back

Getting disowned because you wouldn�t be moms unpaid housekeeper drat.

# ? May 11, 2020 13:47

Cobalt-60: Oct 11, 2016; by Azathoth

Miss posted:

My [23F] mother [54F] didn't realize how much I helped out around the house until I moved out and now she wants me back

[UPDATE] My [23F] mother [54F] didn't realize how much I helped out around the house until I moved out and now she wants me back

I've heard of older siblings getting stuck parenting their younger siblings, but getting stuck housekeeping for your parent...

# ? May 11, 2020 14:03

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

Invisible Clergy posted:

So what you're saying is that boys will be boys?

I used to jack off in (slightly) public (a hot tub with people in it) as a teen, and I'm not a boy OR a rapist.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? May 11, 2020 14:19

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

Pretty good posted:

Also the phrase I used was "rapist in the making" � as in: this kid, without intervention, will escalate his behaviour if he thinks he isn't at risk of more than a stern talking-to � not "rapist in training". Interesting how two apologist weirdos misquoted me in exactly the same way that makes me sound bizarre and unreasonable tho

I think you do sound bizarre and unreasonable. I think a 16 yo rubbing his junk on some ladies' boots is, indeed, unacceptable behavior, but it's not the same as forcing themselves sexually on someone. Maybe just don't throw the word "rapist" around that casually...

Or, maybe do? Men are pretty loving disgusting so maybe they should be shamed all time time. IDK. I just think a horny teen jacking it to lingerie, while deserving of consequences and therapy, is harmless compared to holding someone down and loving them against their will. I guess that's just my opinion tho.

# ? May 11, 2020 14:24

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

LadyPictureShow posted:

My husband (25M) and I (25F) are both so lazy and need help

At least you mustered the strength to complete the Herculean task of posting on reddit.

They're 25 years old and too lazy to have sex?!! How morbidly obese are they? Dang, that's insane. Most couples in the loving world are banging the heck out of each other with regularity and these morons stopped caring before they're 30!

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 14:37 on May 11, 2020

# ? May 11, 2020 14:34

SoftNum: Mar 31, 2011

LadyPictureShow posted:

My husband (25M) and I (25F) are both so lazy and need help

quote:

I kind of do most of the emotional labor (remembering these things, reminding him to do chores the rare times we do them).

Nagging your husband is the real chore, not like... actually doing anything.

Realtalk though you should both probably see someone about depression if you can't even bring yourself to do things you enjoy.

# ? May 11, 2020 14:41

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

OhAreThey posted:

I think you do sound bizarre and unreasonable. I think a 16 yo rubbing his junk on some ladies' boots is, indeed, unacceptable behavior, but it's not the same as forcing themselves sexually on someone. Maybe just don't throw the word "rapist" around that casually...

Or, maybe do? Men are pretty loving disgusting so maybe they should be shamed all time time. IDK. I just think a horny teen jacking it to lingerie, while deserving of consequences and therapy, is harmless compared to holding someone down and loving them against their will. I guess that's just my opinion tho.

e. I meant to quote this person's first post on this page but you get the idea holy moly

Pretty good fucked around with this message at 16:42 on May 11, 2020

# ? May 11, 2020 15:01

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

OhAreThey posted:

I used to jack off in (slightly) public (a hot tub with people in it) as a teen, and I'm not a boy OR a rapist.

Sorry you did what now

# ? May 11, 2020 15:03

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

AITA for refusing to help my boyfriend with his business after he publicly declared it was "just him"

quote:

My boyfriend runs a small food business, has done for the last few years. I have my own job but since he's begin cooking professionally, I have always been involved. From helping with menus, doing his finances and packaging orders for delivery etc, I have always felt like it was partly mine. I have always assumed he saw it the same way as it's never been "hey, can you help me with this" but rather "you need to do this today for me"

Although I have put some of my own money in this business, I never expected to be an equal partner but as I spend around 20 hours a week doing work for him, some credit would be nice. Up until recently, he would usually say "we" in most social media posts and I assumed that was both of us. It is really all the credit I needed.

The other day, he made an Instagram business post which was partly about how difficult it is to operate right now and (paraphrasing) said it was particularly difficult for him as he was doing this totally by himself. As usual, I proof read his post. I was pretty hurt to see the line about not having any help and I did bring it up. He said that it was better for the business if it looked like it was all him.

A few hours later, he asked me to package up some orders for shipping. I retorted that he should do it himself if it's better for business. I was partly joking but he was furious in his reaction and I've now told him I won't do anything for him.

He's now trying to fill in some forms (something I normally handle) and struggling. The one friend I've told thinks I should help him as it's not like I want a public declaration of my existence and this is a stupid fight. I think that if my work isn't being rewarded with cash, some basic respect would work well too. I also think it might be worth him learning how difficult yet mind numbingly boring some of the work I do for him is.

So AITA?

# ? May 11, 2020 15:16

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I can only imagine what shenanigans some of you have been up to, considering jerking off into a woman's shoe is no big deal and all.

OhAreThey posted:

I used to jack off in (slightly) public (a hot tub with people in it) as a teen, and I'm not a boy OR a rapist.

See?

# ? May 11, 2020 15:26

Woozie66: Sep 8, 2009; I'll wait for the next era

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I can only imagine what shenanigans some of you have been up to, considering jerking off into a woman's shoe is no big deal and all.

See?

I don't think anyone says it's not a big deal and shouldn't be punished. But the leap people are arguing about is saying that makes the kid a rapist in the making. That's like saying someone who shoplifts is a violent mugger in the making.

# ? May 11, 2020 15:32

i got owned: Apr 10, 2020; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

All men are rapists as previously discussed many times in this thread

# ? May 11, 2020 15:48

kru: Oct 5, 2003

* thrashes button labelled 'the hottest of takes' *

# ? May 11, 2020 16:03

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

pretty sure masturbating in a public, occupied hot tub is one of the early signs of sociopathy, like ripping the wings off flies

# ? May 11, 2020 16:05

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Pirate Radar posted:

In Europe this is very normal.

lol I'm sure that HR call is just some health care paperwork dude don't worry about it

# ? May 11, 2020 16:11

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Hey thread, this is a person who jerks off on shoes in another persons house a rapist in training is both an unpleasant conversation and led to a poster sharing something I would prefer to never have known so lets let that topic go in this thread, thanks

# ? May 11, 2020 16:14

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Barudak posted:

Hey thread, this is a person who jerks off on shoes in another persons house a rapist in training is both an unpleasant conversation and led to a poster sharing something I would prefer to never have known so lets let that topic go in this thread, thanks

Can I call you Uncle?

# ? May 11, 2020 16:18

Sandwich Anarchist: Sep 12, 2008

OhAreThey posted:

I used to jack off in (slightly) public (a hot tub with people in it) as a teen, and I'm not a boy OR a rapist.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Why does admitting to sexual assault get a 12 instead of a perma lol

# ? May 11, 2020 16:19

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Barudak posted:

Hey thread, this is a person who jerks off on shoes in another persons house a rapist in training is both an unpleasant conversation and led to a poster sharing something I would prefer to never have known so lets let that topic go in this thread, thanks

On the contrary, I find it extremely valuable when goons reveal these things about themselves unprompted because now you always know who you're dealing with.

# ? May 11, 2020 16:19

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

boar guy posted:

pretty sure masturbating in a public, occupied hot tub is one of the early signs of sociopathy, like ripping the wings off flies

Nothing wrong with just two guys, jacking off in a hot tub, six feet apart cause they're not gay

# ? May 11, 2020 16:27

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

Why does admitting to sexual assault get a 12 instead of a perma lol

likely because that is the longest probation a mod can invoke without admin approval, and a ban is in the works

# ? May 11, 2020 16:27

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I got a day�s probation in the last thread for continuing the �punch dogs� running joke, so clearly that is worse than an admission of sexual assault.

# ? May 11, 2020 16:30

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

OhAreThey posted:

I used to jack off in (slightly) public (a hot tub with people in it) as a teen, and I'm not a boy OR a rapist.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Uh, what?

# ? May 11, 2020 16:31

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Nothing wrong with just two guys, jacking off in a hot tub, six feet apart cause they're not gay

The poster said they're not a boy, don't be rude.

# ? May 11, 2020 16:31

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

OhAreThey posted:

I used to jack off in (slightly) public (a hot tub with people in it) as a teen, and I'm not a boy OR a rapist.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Boys will be boys...

Oh wait, you're a loving gross rear end in a top hat and I hate you.

# ? May 11, 2020 16:32

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

pentyne posted:

None of that makes any legal sense.

When i got married, all I had to do was drop a form off at the county registrar. My wife & I signed it, as did the officiant and a witness. If she had a bumch of people willing to forge signatures and his SSN, it seems possible.

# ? May 11, 2020 16:34

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

"Boys will be boys!" I declare as I spread as much of my semen as possible onto the clothing of unsuspecting women.

# ? May 11, 2020 16:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 1, 2024 15:47

i got owned: Apr 10, 2020; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Boys will be boys...

Oh wait, you're a loving gross rear end in a top hat and I hate you.

Lol remember when you said that lady that refused a guy a lift had no idea how close she came to being raped or worse

# ? May 11, 2020 16:37

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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