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zakharov posted:is it time for everyone to complain about how a dry wedding is the worst crime in history again? The dry wedding from the reddit post was pretty awful sounding, though. Dry wedding, plus no dance floor, plus it was mostly just a bunch of activities for the kids in attendance with nothing for the adults. E: The wedding in question: quote:
Ugly In The Morning fucked around with this message at 16:43 on Jul 6, 2020 |
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Jul 6, 2020 16:32
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Ugly In The Morning posted:The dry wedding from the reddit post was pretty awful sounding, though. Dry wedding, plus no dance floor, plus it was mostly just a bunch of activities for the kids in attendance with nothing for the adults. Yeah the lack of alcohol isn't what's making that wedding lame. People need stuff to do!
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Jul 6, 2020 16:46
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Tater Love 
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Algol Star posted:I dunno, see how you feel when someone you're close to suffers with dementia and their personality slowly changes. Probably still going to see them as the person they were and not a 'brain rotted' embarrassment you want to exclude from your life seeing as that's how most families are when it happens. I feel like most people with a shred of empathy could understand how their fiancee was feeling and try to work out some arrangement for what they say is their only family or at least be sensitive about it. His grandfather was always a hateful bigot, he even says so in his post. "Oh, but the evil bigot was never hateful to me and I never directly suffered because of his cruelty!" is a pretty loving poor excuse to try and use to inflict him on the very people he hurts.
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Jul 6, 2020 16:51
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Pirate Radar posted:A dry wedding is not a worse crime than the mayo peppers I'll eat 3 mayo peppers, while you attend 3 dry weddings
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Jul 6, 2020 16:53
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Propaniac posted:AITA for kicking my son and his girlfriend out of our beach house? Deffo NTA. If some old fuckers wanna drink and act stupid who cares?
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Jul 6, 2020 16:59
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Megillah Gorilla posted:His grandfather was always a hateful bigot, he even says so in his post. Granddad is the only family she has left, and he raised her. I don't think it's reasonable to ask her to cut him out of her life. I know it's en vogue to tell people to cut themselves off from problematic or bigoted family members, but I frankly don't think humans are wired to do that. You love people despite their flaws, especially if they cared for you when you were growing up. It's probably a good idea to have a tiny ceremony with the officiant, parents, and 2 witnesses that grandpa can take part in before a bigass reception if she wants grandpa to be part of it, because he's gonna lose his poo poo in a large gathering. It probably won't even be the homophobia that does it, but being confronted with a crowd of people in an unfamiliar place. Do it in the day room at the retirement home and then go have a fun reception.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:00
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Piell posted:AITA For Having My Ex’s University Admission Rescinded ? Holy crap. NTA, and I'm amazed that her school made him recant to each person. Lemony posted:I am genuinely surprised at the relatively rapid, thorough and just response by that private school. In particular, the forcing him to recant his lies to every individual person he told them to. Either she had very influential/rich parents, or it must be a particularly non-lovely administration. That is exactly the type of poo poo I would normally expect to be swept under the rug and ignored. From the sounds of it, it's probably a private school. So rich/influential parents are a must. And the administration is more likely to be keeping an eye out for PR liability and lawsuit risks like 'they stood by and did nothing while my ex-boyfriend smeared my reputation and accused me of federal crimes because I refused to get back together with him'. Being quick, thorough, and just is the only way they were getting through that without her being able to sue them for not doing anything as she was being slandered. Plus, the moving him as far away from her as possible while still having to let him be in the same building, and her telling him that she'd file a restraining order if he came near her again? He was harassing her. Probably what did it was him accusing her of something that could be proven false in court, though; if he had kept it to "she cheated on me with the whole football team", they might have gone "well, it's a he said/she said, and we don't want to get involved in a student's relationship problems". I am surprised that his scholarship and university admission got pulled, but the scholarship probably had an ethics clause if it was for sports and depending on what exactly the school relayed, the university may have gone "y'know what, we have enough white boys that are probably going to be lovely rapists, we don't need one that's just looking for an excuse". She definitely shouldn't blame herself, though; what got it pulled was his behavior, and the authorities in her life responding appropriately to it.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:04
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therobit posted:Granddad is the only family she has left, and he raised her. I don't think it's reasonable to ask her to cut him out of her life. I know it's en vogue to tell people to cut themselves off from problematic or bigoted family members, but I frankly don't think humans are wired to do that. You love people despite their flaws, especially if they cared for you when you were growing up. You're right, humans aren't wired to do that. That's how they end up loving people who abused them. So obviously, humans should never attempt to rewire their thinking and accept abuse! Compartmentalize your lovely homophobic relatives at best, don't make your gay friends pretend to be straight around them, like this person HAS BEEN DOING. That's the part that kills me, they've been dragging gay friends around lovely homophobic grandpa instead of hiding them in the family gathering closet like they drat well should. I've never dragged a single friend around my lovely homopohobic granddad. It's not that hard. A person who, I dunno, isn't dragging grandpa into the wedding because They want him there and it's all about Them and they can't understand that he has no idea what's going on and won't remember this... they'd probably do something sensible like have the drat wedding they want and maybe have another little ceremony with grandpa if he's on a good day where his brain works. Hell, bring him to the courthouse if him Being There for the marriage is that important. He gets to see the legal bit and you can choose to do that on a day where he's doing well. They don't have to exclude everyone else they love from the ceremony just because of grandpa. How's that any better to you than excluding grandpa? Now the fiance will get to remember his miserable nursing home wedding with the old racist who abuses his gay friends. Recipe for great memories there. "Hey honey, remember how most of my family and all of our friends were excluded from our wedding because of exactly one member of your family? Good times."
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Jul 6, 2020 17:32
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zakharov posted:Another Crazy Boss from AAM One of the owners at my (soon to be ex) workplace once said she would come by my house because she insisted that a matter was so urgent that it couldn't wait even an hour (spoilers: it was not urgent at all). I absolutely blew up on her on the phone and she legitimately had no idea why a boundary existed between the home and work. I would have called the goddamn cops on her if she actually did that.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:33
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Aside from the giant mascot costumes the Japanese pikachu wedding stuff is ultra cute. Maybe a little too gimmicky, but adorable nonetheless. Propaniac posted:AITA for kicking my son and his girlfriend out of our beach house? I love how these kinds of stories have so much unspoken horror lurking in the depths.
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Jul 6, 2020 17:42
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chitoryu12 posted:One of the owners at my (soon to be ex) workplace once said she would come by my house because she insisted that a matter was so urgent that it couldn't wait even an hour (spoilers: it was not urgent at all). I absolutely blew up on her on the phone and she legitimately had no idea why a boundary existed between the home and work. I would have called the goddamn cops on her if she actually did that. I... don't think the cops would be interested in hearing about how your boss knocked on your door to tell you something. Did you leave some major details out of this story, or are you just totally insane?
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Jul 6, 2020 18:04
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Evil Willow posted:AITA for getting mad at my BF for complimenting another guy's appearance? You know, you don't have to divorce your husband just because he's gay. In fact, my wife fought really hard to make our marriage work, but I fought even harder.
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Jul 6, 2020 18:11
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Devils Affricate posted:I... don't think the cops would be interested in hearing about how your boss knocked on your door to tell you something. Did you leave some major details out of this story, or are you just totally insane? It wasn't "tell me something." I got all of the info needed for a non-urgent matter over a phone call. She was threatening to drive to my house to harass me in person over it so it could get done NOW NOW NOW.
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Jul 6, 2020 18:15
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chitoryu12 posted:It wasn't "tell me something." I got all of the info needed for a non-urgent matter over a phone call. She was threatening to drive to my house to harass me in person over it so it could get done NOW NOW NOW. Oh ok, my bad. The "spoilers" part made it sound to me like you only found out what the issue was after the fact, and she just wanted to come over to pass information.
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Jul 6, 2020 18:32
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Devils Affricate posted:I... don't think the cops would be interested in hearing about how your boss knocked on your door to tell you something. Did you leave some major details out of this story, or are you just totally insane? Why are some people so eager to defend horrible bosses? My boss at a cakery used to call me up well past 10pm and yell at me about cake. It was almost never anything I was responsible for, I was just the newest, youngest employee and she apparently decided I could be bullied. Just because someone is paying me for my labor, does not mean they own my labor or me. They don't get to dictate what my off hours are like and they certainly don't get to shout at me over anything, ever, unless it's a loving fire or a giant wasp. If my current boss showed up at my house to ask me to do something I would be severely tempted to quit the job I have been working so hard for, because it's a huge boundary to cross. Just because HR has my address doesn't mean my boss gets to use it to pop in unannounced!
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Jul 6, 2020 18:33
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cumshitter posted:In fact, my wife fought really hard to make our marriage work, but I fought even harder.
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Jul 6, 2020 18:48
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tinytort posted:Holy crap. NTA, and I'm amazed that her school made him recant to each person. There was probably also a quick financial calculus between each family's net worth and future donation potential as well that factored into the decision.
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Jul 6, 2020 19:14
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AITA for making my daughter listen to me talk to her husband and apologize for raising a cheater like her?quote:My daughter recently moved back in with us after her relationship with her husband ended following his discovery of an affair she was having with a co-worker.
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Jul 6, 2020 19:17
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for making my daughter listen to me talk to her husband and apologize for raising a cheater like her? NTA but "tough love" isn't going to convince her to change now. It's more likely to make her double down on whatever dumb poo poo she believed that led to the cheating in the first place.
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Jul 6, 2020 19:23
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It's not his place to apologize to his son-in-law and TBH that story is giving me some misogynistic vibes.
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Jul 6, 2020 19:30
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Cyks posted:It's not his place to apologize to his son-in-law and TBH that story is giving me some misogynistic vibes. Parents feel responsible for the actions of their children. Just because it's her dad doesn't mean he's being misogynist. That said, you're right, it isn't really his place to apologize but he could be reaching out because he feels as though the SIL is truly a part of the family.
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Jul 6, 2020 19:55
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Cyks posted:It's not his place to apologize to his son-in-law and TBH that story is giving me some misogynistic vibes. I don't think so. It sounds more like he feels responsible. Whichever case it may be: gently caress cheaters.
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Jul 6, 2020 20:15
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Motronic posted:I don't think so. It sounds more like he feels responsible. Nah thats obviously a dude who desperately wanted a son, but was instead cursed with a daughter.
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Jul 6, 2020 20:25
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Devils Affricate posted:I'll eat 3 mayo peppers, while you attend 3 dry weddings Hah, you fool, 2 of these wedding are serving mayo peppers!
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Jul 6, 2020 20:31
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Tarkus posted:Parents feel responsible for the actions of their children. Just because it's her dad doesn't mean he's being misogynist. That said, you're right, it isn't really his place to apologize but he could be reaching out because he feels as though the SIL is truly a part of the family. For the record I'm in no way saying she's anything but horrible for cheating. Him reaching out to somebody he feels is part of the family to support them is fine but apologizing as if he is the one that failed the SIL irks me as being possessive over his daughter. And upon digging deeper quite a few of the OPs replies is him wanting to disown her for the shame she brought upon him in their small town. Maybe misogynist is the wrong term but it is still off-putting.
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Jul 6, 2020 20:40
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Motronic posted:Whichever case it may be: gently caress cheaters. That's kinda the problem, though...
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Jul 6, 2020 20:53
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Aita for threatening to not invite my stepsister to my wedding if she keeps fetishizing my fiancé’s race? quote:Throwaway and on mobile. SS = Stepsister
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Jul 6, 2020 20:58
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My (24f) boyfriend (25m) gaslit me using my birth control & other medications to get back at me for cancelling our engagement. I don't know where to go from here.quote:I've been with my boyfriend for two years. Three months ago he proposed to me. I said yes, but over time I got cold feet and realized I'm not ready to marry. I want to go to grad school and be more financially stable before we tie the knot and that won't be fore a few years. I returned the ring my bf gave me and explained it to him two weeks ago. I still wanted to be with him, just not as husband/wife atm.
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Jul 6, 2020 22:45
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Tarkus posted:Parents feel responsible for the actions of their children. Just because it's her dad doesn't mean he's being misogynist. That said, you're right, it isn't really his place to apologize but he could be reaching out because he feels as though the SIL is truly a part of the family. I had a relationship where the family loved me and I had been around for major events, both happy and sad, end in infidelity on her part and people from her family still reach out occasionally to chat cause they miss me and wish things had worked out. I try not to engage as much anymore cause got a new partner and a new life but it's honestly not that surprising. For the record the people in her family are basically all women (and one semi estranged ex dad) so I'm p sure it wasn't a misogyny thing.
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Jul 6, 2020 22:50
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Biplane posted:rear end in a top hat That being said, your husband shouldn't be the second/more to know you're pregnant.
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Jul 6, 2020 22:55
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Hughlander posted:My (24f) boyfriend (25m) gaslit me using my birth control & other medications to get back at me for cancelling our engagement. I don't know where to go from here. Not really seeing why breaking off an engagement and sticking around is a good idea. Great that she learned how manipulative her bf is but how do you walk back "let's get married" and not think the relationship is over?
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Jul 6, 2020 23:07
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GORDON posted:That being said, your husband shouldn't be the second/more to know you're pregnant. Personally i find it extremely non problematic for someone in a relationship with a beep boop robot redditor to talk about a pregnancy with a close sibling before the probable engineer, and it's not like he was told two weeks before she went into labor.
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Jul 7, 2020 00:12
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Hughlander posted:My (24f) boyfriend (25m) gaslit me using my birth control & other medications to get back at me for cancelling our engagement. I don't know where to go from here. OP in comments posted:He's had a temper with other people but never with me. I know getting into fights and arguments and aggression is a big red flag but he never did anything that I thought was an unforgivable offense. This has put things into a different perspective and I have to rethink everything. I feel really overwhelmed.
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Jul 7, 2020 00:20
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Biplane posted:Personally i find it extremely non problematic for someone in a relationship with a beep boop robot redditor to talk about a pregnancy with a close sibling before the probable engineer, and it's not like he was told two weeks before she went into labor. Of course we are both adults so if we were either trying or just generally wondering we'd both have already been on the same page leading up to any testing.
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Jul 7, 2020 00:20
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ArbitraryC posted:I'm pretty comfortable in the idea that my SO would tell me first if she were pregnant. That seems like the most natural expectation in the world outside of it being specifically asking friends/family for help in some sort of zany reveal. As you say, you're both adults.
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Jul 7, 2020 00:30
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Biplane posted:As you say, you're both adults. I mean to say that I too would be upset if I learned I was x in line for being informed and there wasn't a good reason beyond who she was the most excited to share with. I dunno if I'd go "then I'ma not show up at your appointments abloobloobloo" but it would probably cause some permanent damage to the relationship when I realized where I stood in priorities/comfort. To me personally, that would be evidence of a problem in itself.
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Jul 7, 2020 00:38
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ArbitraryC posted:I mean to say that I too would be upset if I learned I was x in line for being informed and there wasn't a good reason beyond who she was the most excited to share with. I dunno if I'd go "then I'ma not show up at your appointments abloobloobloo" but it would probably cause some permanent damage to the relationship when I realized where I stood in priorities/comfort. To me personally, that would be evidence of a problem in itself. Yeah. It wouldn't sit well with me. And I'm not a beep boop engineer.
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Jul 7, 2020 00:39
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I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. It just doesn't seem all that unreasonable to me that a woman in a relationship with an obviously emotionally stunted redditor, who suddenly finds herself pregnant, feels the need to talk about it with her sister who she obviously is very close to, before laying it out for her robotic husband.
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Jul 7, 2020 00:58
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Biplane posted:I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. It just doesn't seem all that unreasonable to me that a woman in a relationship with an obviously emotionally stunted redditor, who suddenly finds herself pregnant, feels the need to talk about it with her sister who she obviously is very close to, before laying it out for her robotic husband. I dunno why we gotta continue the super sexist autistic male engineer trope on this site. My class of chemical engineering was like 40/60 and that was a decade ago so I can imagine the numbers have only improved. Dude is reasonably upset over something that should be upsetting. I dunno how I personally would handle that particular situation because my SO wouldn't do that to me in the first place.
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Jul 7, 2020 01:30
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Biplane posted:I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. It just doesn't seem all that unreasonable to me that a woman in a relationship with an obviously emotionally stunted redditor, who suddenly finds herself pregnant, feels the need to talk about it with her sister who she obviously is very close to, before laying it out for her robotic husband. it doesn't change the calculus too much, but she told her husband's sister first
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Jul 7, 2020 01:54
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