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old friend


Ironing a crease into my husband's dick as per this restaurant's dress code

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nut

ironing my husbands sick so I can wedge it under the door instead of letting it kinda drag when the door catches the wind hard enough to close it

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
It's a happy coincidence that spray starch stiffens what you iron with it

Heather Papps

hello friend


after ten thousand "my balls are wrinkly, they need to be ironed!" gags, gord awakes to searing pain and a laughing maggie



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

City of Glompton

spritzing my husband's dick with Downey Wrinkle Reducer because im a busy woman, plus i like the fresh clean scent

vanisher

single guy buys one of those quick dick pressing tables from sharper image



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

google THIS

Hanging my dick over the shower door and running the water really hot because the hotel room didn't come with an ironing board

nut

City of Glompton posted:

spritzing my husband's dick with Downey Wrinkle Reducer because im a busy woman, plus i like the fresh clean scent

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
getting to my board meeting and realizing to late that while my dick has been impeccably ironed my wife forgot to starch my balls

Manifisto


sent my dick to the dry cleaners and realized in a panic that my wife had done the same thing with my auxiliary dick


ty nesamdoom!

nut

opting to bronze my dick instead because i like the sheen

Trying

my job is to keep his belly full and his schlong flat

vanisher

landed the job, in no small part to the small part on my dick



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

vanisher

young well meaning but kind of clumsy wife tries to iron the foreskin



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

old friend


Not sure if they have these in the USA but I always insist that my man puts his dick in here before we go out on the town

Manifisto


old friend posted:

Not sure if they have these in the USA but I always insist that my man puts his dick in here before we go out on the town


we do have them and a gentle dick toasting is absolutely de rigeur in many circles

vanisher

ever been to a fancy public restroom with dick pressers?



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

Trying

one weird trick to flatten your dick in the microwave. doctors hate me!

Manifisto


vanisher posted:

ever been to a fancy public restroom with dick pressers?



you realize that automation like this has destroyed countless dick pressing jobs, right? it was a career with a certain quiet dignity, and now it's gone.

old friend


Long gone is that traditional family atmosphere: the children gathered around the radio on the mantelpiece listening to War of the Worlds. Husband reading his newspaper, feet up after a long day of work. Loving wife meditatively - contently - ironing his dick by the fireplace

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


Use a panini press for a distinctive, fun look

Trying

not to be that wife, but cold-pressed peens are hipster bullshit

Manifisto


old friend posted:

Long gone is that traditional family atmosphere: the children gathered around the radio on the mantelpiece listening to War of the Worlds. Husband reading his newspaper, feet up after a long day of work. Loving wife meditatively - contently - ironing his dick by the fireplace

postmodernism has ruined everything


ty nesamdoom!

Prof. Crocodile

vanisher posted:

ever been to a fancy public restroom with dick pressers?



btw, this is not actually for dicks

source: written injunction banning me from ever using Chicago Midway airport again

old friend


Manifisto posted:

postmodernism has ruined everything

Men obsessively ironing their own dicks, women ironing each other's clothes - and that's the belly of the beast

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


oh but seriously I posted:

not to be that wife, but cold-pressed peens are hipster bullshit

Nowadays it's more about expeller pressed wieners

Trying

Men letting their wives out with crumpled dicks was the thin edge of the wedge

Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns


My father went to work every day in a coat and tie, dick starched stiff as a board, just like his father and grandfather before him. Shame to see how young 'professionals' dress these days-no ties, no jackets and rumpled, wrinkled dicks hanging out for all the world to see. They ought to be ashamed and they will NOT be getting any of my business!!!

1 like = 1 ironed dick!


https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!


very nice i like

I CANT RESIST SHITTING UP THE BIG BOOBS THREAD WITH MY RANDOM FUCKING MONKEY CHEESE BULLSHIT! IF YOU SEE ME, FUCK ME UP.

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

My father went to work every day in a coat and tie, dick starched stiff as a board, just like his father and grandfather before him. Shame to see how young 'professionals' dress these days-no ties, no jackets and rumpled, wrinkled dicks hanging out for all the world to see. They ought to be ashamed and they will NOT be getting any of my business!!!

1 like = 1 ironed dick!

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

old friend posted:

Long gone is that traditional family atmosphere: the children gathered around the radio on the mantelpiece listening to War of the Worlds. Husband reading his newspaper, feet up after a long day of work. Loving wife meditatively - contently - ironing his dick by the fireplace

lmbo

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

My father went to work every day in a coat and tie, dick starched stiff as a board, just like his father and grandfather before him. Shame to see how young 'professionals' dress these days-no ties, no jackets and rumpled, wrinkled dicks hanging out for all the world to see. They ought to be ashamed and they will NOT be getting any of my business!!!

1 like = 1 ironed dick!

lolol

old friend


Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

My father went to work every day in a coat and tie, dick starched stiff as a board, just like his father and grandfather before him. Shame to see how young 'professionals' dress these days-no ties, no jackets and rumpled, wrinkled dicks hanging out for all the world to see. They ought to be ashamed and they will NOT be getting any of my business!!!

1 like = 1 ironed dick!

Doctor Dogballs

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


Nobody is really capable of this, but according to the laws of physics, if you slap a dick at 3,725.95 miles per hour it will by instantly ironed.

----------------
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HopefulSophisticatedIndianrhinoceros-mobile.webm
"The Bad Boy of Comics"

frump truck

hello... again!

do you like lemon cake

or chocolate cake better

Heather Papps

hello friend


roger you've been working late quite a... WAIT. LET ME SEE THAT DICK.

I KNEW IT YOU BASTARD



thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

Finger Prince


If you give your dick a strong sharp flick when it's still wet from the wash and hang it up to dry right away, you don't really need to iron it.

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
new hubby new chubby

FutonForensic

pleated dick


cda

by Hand Knit

FutonForensic posted:

pleated dick

Never saw one of these until I went to a French beach for vacation

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


FutonForensic posted:

pleated dick

If you listen carefully you can detect corduroy dick, but pretty much everyone you would suspect might have a corduroy dick definitely has one

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