Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my sister I don’t want her and her new poly partners staying with us even though I was initially ok with just her bf.

MarcusSA posted:

TBH though the sex aspect is an issue esp since they are going to be there for 2 months and yeah I'm not sure I'd want to try and explain sisters hosed up relationships to my young kids and then have them deal with it for the next 2 months.

Also lol that they think all the people will still wanna be together for the next 2 months anyway.

Sillybones posted:

I don't mean to neg on different relationships but is four dudes and a girl really a healthy stable relationship and not just short term good time?

Bruceski posted:

I tried to make one based off my middle name work, it didn't stick. Then one of my friends decided to start calling me Brewski after I complained about some admin lady mistakenly calling me Bruce. He thought it was hilarious, I hated it, but it grew on me and with a bit of modification to make it my own I've been using it as my e-handle ever since.

Sillybones posted:

I don't mean to neg on different relationships but is four dudes and a girl really a healthy stable relationship and not just short term good time?

Bruceski posted:

I tried to make one based off my middle name work, it didn't stick. Then one of my friends decided to start calling me Brewski after I complained about some admin lady mistakenly calling me Bruce. He thought it was hilarious, I hated it, but it grew on me and with a bit of modification to make it my own I've been using it as my e-handle ever since.

OB-GYN Kenobi posted:

I feel like that's a common theme among nicknames, hating it at first.

This was my nickname:
Ziggy Piggy

I watched Bill and Ted's while eating a big bowl of ice cream with some assholes friends. I absolutely hated it. They'd sing that drat song anytime I showed up. The angrier I got, the more they teased. After a while, I was cool with it. 25ish years later and my friend's mom still calls me Ziggy Piggy.

MarcusSA posted:

Perfectly!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html

MarcusSA posted:

Perfectly!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html

MarcusSA posted:

Perfectly!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html

quote:

Yes, sister, boyfriend, partner a (male), partner b (female) and partner c (male).

My sister said that two of the people are in a relationship with her and her boyfriend, but the remaining man (partner c) is only together with the other woman (partner b).

Maybe I was just intimidated by the complexity of it all but I just feel really uncomfortable with a living situation that I would have 0 idea how to navigate.

quote:

My girlfriend works as a bartender at a relatively popular local bar.

She has frequently expressed to me that she gets a lot of unwanted male attention from the customers and even some staff. I keep explaining to her that she should quit and find another job, but she keeps insisting that she needs the extra money to stay afloat/help pay for university.

Bars have begun to open up and serve customers in my country, so my girlfriend has returned to work, and even picked up extra shifts. I don't like her working in such a place, and I frequently offered to loan her money to ease some of her stress but she's declined.

So, today when I was doing some errands in town, I passed by the bar which she works at, and just decided to pop in for a moment. It was not as busy as usual, but it wasn't completely deserted. They were a few customers (mostly male) scattered around. I sat down, and ordered a drink (she was working the bar.) She barely acknowledged me, gave me a small smile and served me my drink without so much as a second thought. I brushed it off, and thought it was because she was slightly stressed. However, as I stayed longer I noticed that she was smiling more at certain customers, borderline flirting with some. I managed to stay for the entirety of her shift.

When her shift was finally over, she asked me why I stayed for most of her shift. I was upset, because she wasn't treating me with the same respect as other customers. I told her I'd meet her at home, and when I got home, she was slightly annoyed because I waited for her shift to end. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't stalking or anything. I just popped in, and then was met with the pleasing image of her flirting with customers.

She hasn't spoken to me, and just made food and has ignored my presence. So, AITA?

quote:

I’ve been with my longest term nesting partner (WolfWoman) for 20+ years. We raised a kid who’s headed off to college in the fall, own a house, and have had plenty of ups-and-downs but are still going strong. We have been experimenting occasionally with non-monogamy since the very start of our relationship, but have been seriously practicing polyamory for the past 5+ years.

I have another nesting partner (Sparrow) where we are coming up on our 2 year anniversary next month. She has been living with me and my other partner since last fall. She just had a baby which she is co-parenting with WolfWoman (the two of them are also in a relationship)

I have a third non-nesting partner who I have been dating on-and-off for two and a half years. Our schedules and busy lives make it difficult to find much time together but she is very important to me too.

quote:

With one of my partners I am currently 8 years into a poly relationship. I had another poly relationship that lasted 14 years before we separated. But those are outliers in my 20+ years of poly. The vast majority of my relationships have lasted less than a year.

quote:

My bf and his wife have been married for 25 years (this summer-- gotta think of a nice anniversary gift for them). They've been poly for 11ish years. His wife and her bf have been together 3 years and I've been with my bf for just about 2.5 years. They've both had other partners that didn't work out for one reason or another in the 11 years they've been poly.

quote:

How many poly relationships have fallen a part on you? Is there a pattern? The issue might be you. But in all reality I think it's really hard to find someone who wants this style of relationship and is capable of it. All of us are working against the way our culture wants us to be... and that poo poo takes time and energy to work through. You have to have the energy and your partner has to have the energy.

quote:

So I have been poly my entire relationship.

I have a husband (10+yr) and a wife(12+yr), in addition to several passing relationships of varying intensity during that time on all ends. My wife also got married to her nesting partner of 4 years just a few months back. I was included in their vows.

However, the big question here is what you think those relationships look like?

I've never lived with my wife as she moved far away for school. I've been in non sexual relationships with both my wife and my husband depending on the space/time relationship to one another. I have a kid with my husband, but my wife is childfree and "tolerates" our child at best.

Stability is there. We are family. However the relationship escalator is absolutely not. If my wife is ever sick I will do everything in my power to care for her. I hope to be with her in old age. We have plans to close our physical gap from each other, but that's years out and states/financial means away. Having someone who cares for her that's physically close to her makes me happy, and so glad we are polyamourous.

Sometimes my husband, who I absolutely went up the relationship escalator with, gets really jealous. We fight. Sometimes we have to take a "break" from each other and sleep separately or de escalte our Co dependency. Sometimes I don't see or talk to my wife for months. Sometimes I want to say gently caress it all and live in a cabin in the woods by myself. That's just part of being in a family together. What matters is through it all we have each other.

Atlas Hugged posted:

Back to nicknames, we always went with either last initial or some kind of trait about the person, be it a hobby or physical trait. Long Hair Dave, Hockey Dave, Dave C, whatever. And it's not like we called these people that. It was just to clarify who we were referring to if there was confusion. Ironically, when Long Hair Dave shaved his head, he didn't stop being Long Hair Dave in our circle of friends either.

Beachcomber posted:

Carnegie Mellon CS has a "Dave Ratio", stemming from the year there were more Daves than women.

Atlas Hugged posted:

Back to nicknames, we always went with either last initial or some kind of trait about the person, be it a hobby or physical trait. Long Hair Dave, Hockey Dave, Dave C, whatever. And it's not like we called these people that. It was just to clarify who we were referring to if there was confusion. Ironically, when Long Hair Dave shaved his head, he didn't stop being Long Hair Dave in our circle of friends either.

quote:

So I meet this guy and everything is going good until I notice something weird when we’re at a Starbucks. When he orders, he says, “I’ll have a capahchino” (cappuccino) in a thick Italian accent and “I’ll have a krahson” (croissant) in a thick French accent. I don’t say anything yet but just laugh in my head.

Another day when we’re at a Chipote, he says, “I’ll have a burrrito” (really rolls the R) in a Spanish accent.

So I find out more about him and it turns out that he speaks three languages and is getting a master degree in Linguistics. I’m impressed.

However, this is where it gets awkward. The next time I meet him, we’re at a Chinese restaurant. When he orders, he mentions every food item in a thick Chinese accent. The waitress seems weirded out by what just happened. I'm really nervous to receive our food now. I hope that there is no spit in it or something worse.

So then I ask him once the waitress is gone, “Why do you pronounce these words in an exaggerated foreign accent.” He then says something to me along the lines of, “Oh, you mean why do I pronounce these words with the correct pronunciation? Well, it’s because I believe that to show respect for other languages, we as English speakers should pronounce foreign words in the accent they originated from. It would be rude to butcher these Mandarin words with an American accent.”

At this point, I’m hoping that we don’t ever go to a Chinese restaurant again.

So time passes by and I talk with this guy a little more. I find out he is very left leaning in politics, loves to read, and has done a lot of traveling in his life. So for the next dinner night, I try to find a restaurant where none of the items on the menu are foreign words. I find this highly reviewed American southern style barbecue restaurant still open during the pandemic and mention it to him. He says that sounds good and he looks forward to it!

So when we get there, everything is fine until the waitress asks us what we want to drink. He says, “I’ll have a corrronah ayxtrrah” (Corona Extra) in a thick Spanish accent and of course rolling the Rs.

So at this point, I’m really pissed. I don’t say anything yet but think to myself this may be our last date. When it’s time to order our food, I'm not joking, he orders in a thick southern drawl accent, “I’ll have the southern fried chicken with the mash potatoes.”

At this point, I’m finished. I am so embarrassed to be seen with this guy in public. I tell him, “You are ridiculous and embarrassing to be around. This is goodbye.” I leave immediately. I ignore his calls and block his number because I hope I never have to speak with this guy again.

So I talk about this incident with one of my friends and she tells me that I ended this friendship for such a silly reason and that what I did was rude. We got into a heated argument and she tells me that she pronounces foreign words with the correct accent sometimes and that it’s not that weird.

AITA?

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for getting upset with someone who claims he was pronouncing foreign words "correctly"?

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for getting upset with someone who claims he was pronouncing foreign words "correctly"?

MarcusSA posted:

Perfectly!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7759411/Polyamorous-woman-20-fallen-pregnant-one-FOUR-partners-went-away-together.html

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for showing up at my girlfriends bar?

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Don’t forget the aggravated child abuse charge after the ginger beat the poo poo out of the baby.

Sillybones posted:

rear end in a top hat for what? Did anything happen here?

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for getting upset with someone who claims he was pronouncing foreign words "correctly"?

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for getting upset with someone who claims he was pronouncing foreign words "correctly"?

Evil Willow posted:

UPDATE: My (28f) dog attacked my stalker after he broke into my house. Now my SIL (32f) says my dog is "too dangerous" to be around my niece (4f). Feel like I'm going crazy.

Evil Willow posted:

UPDATE: My (28f) dog attacked my stalker after he broke into my house. Now my SIL (32f) says my dog is "too dangerous" to be around my niece (4f). Feel like I'm going crazy.

quote:

Clickbait title but it's how my family sees the situation. This is a throwaway account since they know my main.

My older sister and I (both late 20s F) have always had a strained relationship, partially because my parents always favored her growing up. Mostly small things, for example: they would reward her whenever she got an A, but never me even though I had near-straight-As all high school; they were ok with her not sharing her toys (and phones/cars/etc. as we got older) with me but expected me to share mine with her; they would typically go to her swim meets instead of my basketball games and so on. For her part my sister was always just kind of a dick to me. Whenever I had the spotlight, she would need to make it about her.

Case in point: When I graduated three years ago, I had dinner with my family to celebrate. My sister decided it was a good time to announce her pregnancy. I was annoyed, but decided it wasn't worth making a scene since the dinner was almost over anyways.

At her gender reveal party, she announced the baby was a girl and that her name will be "Catherine." I have always wanted to name my daughter Catherine and I've told her that clearly several times before. I confronted her about it after the party, and she eventually admitted that she knew I wanted the name, but that she likes it too and she's pregnant, not me. I've learned it's best to just not engage with my sister when she pulls stuff like this, and didn't argue further.

Unfortunately, my sister ended up having a stillbirth around 30 weeks. Naturally she was devastated and I did my part to help her through it. If this matters for judgement, my sister hasn't had any issues since and now has a healthy 7 month old son.

Fast forward to this year. I found out I was pregnant in January and now am 28 weeks along. I'm having a daughter and I still like the name Catherine. I didn't want to be a total rear end in a top hat, so I decided to name my daughter a variation of the name - Kathryn - which I actually do like better now. I knew my sister would not like it regardless so I was not planning to tell her until after Kathryn was born.

Well, one of my friends accidentally let it slip to my mom, who then told my sister, who freaked out. I woke up to messages from my sister and the rest of my family asking me how I could possibly do this to her, and accusing me of "stealing the name of my sister's dead baby", hence the title. I sent out a basic response and have been ignoring them since.

From my perspective, I came up with the name first, and if I don't own the name neither does my sister. I didn't choose the name to hurt her. And I didn't even use the same name, just a similar one! My husband is on my side but my parents and sister think I'm a monster. So, AITA?

Atlas Hugged posted:

Back to nicknames, we always went with either last initial or some kind of trait about the person, be it a hobby or physical trait. Long Hair Dave, Hockey Dave, Dave C, whatever. And it's not like we called these people that. It was just to clarify who we were referring to if there was confusion. Ironically, when Long Hair Dave shaved his head, he didn't stop being Long Hair Dave in our circle of friends either.

MarcusSA posted:

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Don’t forget the aggravated child abuse charge after the ginger beat the poo poo out of the baby.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

It's always the most normal looking one in the polycule you need to look out for.

Switchback posted:

I always read your name as “Bru-chess-kee” and this is the first time I realised it could be broken down as “Bruce-skee.” Huh.

quote:

He and I started dating last spring, and a couple months later we were at a yard sale together and he found a weird nintendo glove controller and bought it ("For ONLY TWO DOLLARS he constantly reminds everyone.) I didn't think much of it at the time. Fast forward, we accelerate our plans to move in together due to covid/quarantine rules and financial pressure. As everyone else on earth is learning sweatpants can be worn every day, he discovers the same of the glove controller. EVERY DAY. I commented that it was looking kind of ratty, so he sets out to restore it like a classic car. No fewer than 3 other glove controllers were bought online for purposes of acquiring "original parts." He replaced the fabric and velcro with new stuff, and it does look like new. Ridiculous, but like new.

The first time he wore it to bed (& sex), I didn't complain, I just thought of it like a halloween costume or something. The second time I told him, and I will regret this phrasing for the rest of my life, "it doesn't do anything for me." He was hurt and gave up on the seduction. Didn't touch me again for almost two weeks. Comes into the bedroom near the end of the second week naked except for the glove, and he's holding one of those rabbit sex toys in his other hand, attached by wires to the glove, which also has a small blinking computer and a big (ridiculous) battery attached to it. He showed me how it worked, he could control the toy by working his fingers on the gloved hand. It was obviously something he had put a lot of work into, and it's not like we hadn't used toys before, so despite my misgivings, I let him use the device on me. It was actually kind of nice, but after we were finished I tried to engage him, scooted up next to him in bed and told him I loved him. He doesn't even look at me, he just says "I love the power glove, it's so bad." (He says this all the time but obviously I felt pretty rejected and we fought.)

At this point, the dam has burst and ALL REASON has been swept away. He has programmed this little computer to operate the TV remote, the thermostat, his car radio, it can integrate with his phone and the TV... "all through the original nintendo connector!" he always says to anyone who hasn't seen it before. He's trying to get it with the home security system, which I don't see the point of at all, and he accidentally sets it off all the time. He's not even a computer programmer! Or, he wasn't before, I guess. He did at least get a smaller battery for it.

We're due to be married in September, and we went to look at tuxes for him (our state was open at the time), and this is when I learn that he plans to wear the glove to our wedding! I objected, but I haven't given him a firm ultimatum. He says "I am the glove, it's a part of me now." My mom thinks I need to get over it, she says it's basically a bracelet. I don't really have any girl friends to confer with. He's perfect except this is so weird, how am I supposed to get married to a man who won't put down his video game controller to get married? Is this acceptable? If not, how do I talk him out of it?

TheKennedys posted:

this has historically been my strategy except it's funnier when you tell them; I dubbed the two Ambers at work Amber Prime and Amber the Usurper and the latter absolutely ran with it

TheKennedys posted:

this has historically been my strategy except it's funnier when you tell them; I dubbed the two Ambers at work Amber Prime and Amber the Usurper and the latter absolutely ran with it

quote:

Throwaway account and I changed a few details as I really don't want friends and people I know, knowing about this.

Tl:Dr - My boyfriend tried to get some of my personal diaries published as an engagement gift. It feels like a total violation and I'm still stunned he would think it was a positive thing I'd have wanted.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 years at this point and have been discussing getting married for a couple of years now. Our relationship hasn't always been perfect in the past but we've been through a lot and I can't see myself with anybody else at this point.

I've always kept journals and diaries throughout my life and find that it really helps to ground me and allows me to fully appreciate and engage what's happening in my life. My writing is private and although it's something I have shared with my boyfriend is not something I would ever be interested in sharing outside of that. Most of my friends are not aware that this is such a large part of my life or that I've been doing it from such a young age. I don't think it's all that unusual but it's just something I find very private and is a huge emotional vulnerability.

Me and my boyfriend were talking again about our future and our plans to get engaged. I said it should be something special and that I wanted to wait until the world returned to normal until we moved forward and he mentioned that he'd wanted to propose at new year but that it hadn't turned out right. This was news to me and surprising as we'd always said that it would be something we planned together and shouldn't be a surprise. He said that he'd sent some of my writing to a publisher and that he'd hoped to surprise me with that alongside a proposal.

I was and still am honestly just shocked. It feels like a total betrayal that he would even go through and read my private thoughts and writings let alone share them with total strangers. I don't know why he thought that it would even be something that they would want in the first place, but it just feels like such a violation. He has apologised and said that he did it for me as I've always been a writer and thought it would be a dream, but that it didn't matter since he hadn't heard anything positive back anyway. It seems like such a huge miscalculation on his part and it makes me question how well we truly understand each other.

Am I crazy and overreacting for thinking seriously about whether I even want to get married to this man? He has never done anything to hurt me and even this was something he wanted to do for me, but it was just such a huge thing to totally misread. We haven't really spoken about it since that conversation, he doesn't think it was a big deal and has since moved on but I just can't stop thinking about it.

artsy fartsy posted:

AITA for getting upset with someone who claims he was pronouncing foreign words "correctly"?