Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Terror Sweat: Mar 15, 2009

Maybe if you fed him some fuckin food he wouldn�t be out here killing baby skunks cassie

# ? Sep 14, 2020 04:20

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:55

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Epicurius posted:

This is more of Cassie being Cassie. It's well written, and I agree with what other people on here have said, but this still gets on my nerves a bit.

Yeah, it's really grating to have Cassie talk endlessly about How Nature Works, about how it's red and not green and about "cute, cuddly animals who slaughter to live," but then get self-righteously furious at Tobias, who's suffered and given far more than she has for this war, for... killing specifically to eat, which he needs to do because he's permanently a hawk, remember, Cassie?

# ? Sep 14, 2020 04:47

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

Yes, the traumatized 14-year-old's emotions do not make logical sense. Excellent deduction there Sherlock.

# ? Sep 14, 2020 13:39

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Terror Sweat posted:

Maybe if you fed him some fuckin food he wouldn�t be out here killing baby skunks cassie

That's what they used to do, but Tobias switched to hunting and eating once he accepted that he was a hawk forever.

# ? Sep 14, 2020 13:41

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

freebooter posted:

He's a good sport and a smart cookie. I really think Applegate does a good job of giving him an important role to play in every book - even if it's just character-wise, rather than contributing to missions etc - despite being inevitably sidelined to some degree because he's stuck in morph.

What book is it that Tobias gets his morphing power and his human morph back?

# ? Sep 14, 2020 14:52

ANOTHER SCORCHER: Aug 12, 2018

ninjahedgehog posted:

What book is it that Tobias gets his morphing power and his human morph back?

13, so not that far off

# ? Sep 14, 2020 17:59

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The Secret-Chapter 17

quote:

�Well, this is more than slightly insane,� Marco said. It was later that same day, Sunday evening. We were all gathered around the skunks� den. �We�re going to raise little, stinky skunk babies?�

�What�s so insane about that?� Rachel asked sharply. Good old Rachel. She thought it was ridiculous, too. But she�s my best friend, and always backs me up.

�They�re skunks,� Marco said, looking from Rachel to Jake to Ax, like he was the only normal person in a mental ward.

�They�re cute,� Rachel said, glaring at Marco and generally looking like a girl who never used the word �cute.�

�Ah. I see. �Cute.� Well that certainly explains everything.�

Jake cut in. �Cassie can�t take them to the clinic or they may get used to humans. They�re young. They�ll imprint. So we are taking care of these � these skunks � until mommy skunk can come back from the hospital.�

<Are skunks a sacred animal to humans?> Ax asked.

�All animals are sacred to Cassie,� Marco said. �She�s Doctor Doolittle and that animal guy who comes on Letterman all rolled into one.�

<But you eat some animals,> Ax pointed out. <Cows, pigs, sheep, dogs.>

�We don�t eat dogs!� I said.

<In some countries they do. I read it in the World Almanac.>

We had given Ax a World Almanac to help him learn about Earth. Ever since then, he�d become an expert on useless information. He could tell you the per capita income of Tanzania, or the long jump record at the Olympics.

�Well, we don�t eat dogs in this country,� Rachel said.

Lets talk about dog eating. This has become a sensitive topic, because a lot of times, when it's brought up, it's done in a racist way. Dogs aren't eaten in the US. They're kept pretty much entirely as pets. So the accusation that a culture, or people from that culture, eat dogs, a lot of times, has the connotation of barbarism involved in it, because of the kind of xenophobic idea that there's something wrong about eating dogs that's not wrong about, say, eating pigs.

On the other hand, like a friend of mine who grew up poor in the Missouri Ozarks and who's family stayed alive in his childhood with the help of a lot of poaching and illegal hunting, told me, "You'd be surprised how many animals are made of meat."

Dogs were eaten in a bunch of different societies around the world, and there are a few breeds of dog that were bred primarily as livestock, including the Nureongi breed in Korea, the poi dog of Hawaii, the Tahiti dog of Tahiti, and the Xolo dog of Mexico, bred by the Aztecs. Traditionally, they were eaten by the Aztec, by some North American Native American groups, by Polynesians, in parts of China, Korea, and Vietnam, and in certain parts of West Africa, although for medicinal instead of nutritional reasons. It's extremely rare nowadays. Dog eating was never particularly common in Europe, except in emergency situations, and as a lot of European culture and values spread around the world, so did the taboo against it, even in societies that never had that taboo. Modern South Korea, for instance, has been taking a lot of steps to try to wipe it out, largely as a sop to western xenophobia.

In case you're curious as to how dog meat tastes, people who have eaten it have described it as tasting a little bit like a combination of beef and mutton.

quote:

<Do you eat cats?>

�Um � excuse me?� Jake interrupted. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was obviously getting a headache. I could understand why. �Look, here�s the deal: We are about three hundred yards from the edge of the Yeerk logging compound. They have sensors, they have guards. Tobias is up top keeping an eye out, so we�re safe for now. But we can�t get careless. Cassie, tell them what we want
to do.�

�Okay, while we�re in school tomorrow and the next day, Ax and Tobias will protect the den. Ax will morph the mother skunk from time to time. Tobias will patrol from above. I�ll bring Tobias frozen food so he doesn�t have to hunt during that time.�

�Oooh, Lean Cuisine Frozen Mouse entrees,� Marco teased.

 Tobias said from somewhere up above the treetops.

�I know,� Marco said, grinning smugly.

�Then, after school and through the night, the rest of us will work shifts. I�ll do most of the skunk morphing, but in between times we�ll have to have Jake and Rachel and Marco to help keep up a patrol.�

Marco held up his hand.

�Yes, Marco?� I asked.

�Do we get some �Save the Skunks� T-shirts and bumper stickers?�

�No one has to do this,� I said. �Look � I know it seems stupid.�

�Nah, it�s not stupid,� Marco said. �Let�s see, I�m behind in my homework. My dad thinks I�ve joined a gang because I�m never around. I don�t sleep much because every time I try I�m suddenly a termite again and I wake up screaming. I never get to just sit around and watch TV. And, in my spare time, I have to help figure out how we�re going to keep the Yeerks from turning some guy named Farrand into a Controller so they can wipe out the forest and hunt down the Bird-boy and the universe�s only almanac-reading Andalite. I mean, I knew the middle-school years would be tough, but this is a little much.�

Fair point. This is a stressful sort of thing.

quote:

Jake gave Marco a long, skeptical look. �So, in other words, you�ll be glad to help.�

For once, it was Jake who made everyone laugh. Even Marco.

Marco shrugged. �You know, actually it�s kind of a relief finding out Cassie is crazy. We know Rachel�s nuts. We know I�m crazy. Cassie�s been the only sane one for so long. Welcome to the loony bin, Cassie. Save the skunks! Hug the trees! Let dogs vote!�

The others all laughed. I laughed a little, too. Marco always made fun of my being an environmentalist. Usually it was okay, because I knew what I believed in.

But now his humor cut just a little deeper.

I wasn�t saving the whales or the panda or the spotted owl. I was saving a handful of skunks.

There were plenty of skunks in the world. They weren�t exactly endangered.

It all went back to the termite queen. A bug. I had killed a bug, and for some reason, that had shaken my deepest faith.

Maybe Marco was right. Maybe I was crazy.

Cassie is, as has been mentioned, the most emotionally intelligent of the group, and she's now turning that understanding on herself. Keep in mind, though, the rest of the group is helping.

The Secret-Chapter 18

quote:

Over the next two days we protected and nurtured a foursome of baby skunks. And as impossible as it seems, it worked. More or less.

Maybe I�m kidding myself, but I think the others started enjoying it, too. Typically, it was Marco who decided, after his first shift guarding the skunks, that the kits needed names.

�Joey, Johnny, Marky, and C.J.,� he announced, like it was obvious. �The Ramones. The godfathers of punk rock. They would be honored. The one with the white stripe that kind of goes really wide? That�s Joey. Now, Johnny ��

I don't know if I really see Marco as a Ramones fan. Sort of before his time.

quote:

At first, I was the only one to morph the skunk mother. Then Ax did it. Then the others, one by one. I almost felt jealous.

Right after school three days later, I went to the skunk burrow and found Tobias flying cover above the burrow.

<Hi, Cassie.>

�How�s it going, Tobias?�

<Well, we had a little excitement. A hungry badger stopped by to check things out. But I chased him off.>

�So the kits are all right?�

<There are still four of them, if that�s what you mean,> Tobias answered. <But they won�t stay inside. They keep coming out and looking around. Especially Marky. This isn�t good. Especially if they do it at night.>

I morphed into the skunk mother and crawled inside the den. Tobias was right - the kits were restless. They were growing fast, and they instinctively wanted to go out into the great big world beyond the burrow.

 I told Tobias.

<Is that a good idea?>

<Sure. Why not? You should take a break. Stretch your wings.>

Tobias was relieved to have an excuse to take off. But as soon as he was gone I started to have doubts about my brilliant idea of taking the kits out for a stroll. How could I keep track of them? What if they wandered off?

But then, while I was debating, Marky made a wild dash outside and I had to scamper to catch up to him. As soon as I appeared, though, the kit went meekly to stand behind me. One by one, the other three babies came out. And to my amazement, they lined up like obedient first-graders.

<Okay,> I said, although of course the kits couldn�t understand me. <Let�s take a walk.>

I waddled slowly away, took about ten steps, then turned to look back over my shoulder. The four of them were all lined up behind me. I was their mother, as far as they knew. And they were programmed to follow their mother.

I waddled off, feeling a little strange but happy.

We walked that way for half an hour. We paused to sniff things from time to time. Various animal scents, mostly. And then, I realized something. We weren�t supposed to just be going for a stroll. The kits were hungry. I was their mother. And it was my job to provide for them.

If I didn�t teach them to catch bugs, they wouldn�t survive. Skunks eat some plants, but they also eat crickets and mantises and grass hoppers and even shrews and mice.

I stopped walking and looked back at �my� kits. Four almost identical little balls of black-andwhite fuzz. Four curious little faces watching me. Waiting to see what I was doing. Eager to learn.

I�d been feeding them thawed frozen grasshoppers and thawed mice I�d brought from the clinic. Just as I�d been giving Tobias food since he was too busy to hunt properly. But these skunk kits couldn�t be fed by humans all their lives.

Suddenly � a crashing sound! Something rushing through the woods, careless, wild, noisy. And coming right toward us!

I started to lead the kits back to the burrow, but the noise was getting closer. It was coming too quick! I tried to smell what it was, but the breeze was blowing the wrong way.

Then � ROWR! ROWR! ROWROWROWR! A dog!

A wolf would have known better. A wolf would have seen the black-and-white fur and decided he had an appointment somewhere else. A bear would have known. Just about any wild animal knew better than to annoy an adult skunk.

But this big happy dog was not wild. He lived with humans. He knew absolutely nothing about skunks. Without even thinking, I turned my back to the dog. I raised my tail in warning.

The dog kept coming. Drool was dribbling from one side of his mouth, and his tongue was hanging out the other side, and he was having about as good a time as a dog could have. He was in the woods, and he had a bunch of little black animals to play with.

The kits were still lined up. They were watching me intently. It almost made me want to laugh - if I could have. It was a big moment for them - they were about to learn why no sensible animal picked on adult skunks.

I had no experience in spraying. But the skunk mind within my own knew exactly what it was it had to do.

I aimed.

I looked over my shoulder to judge the distance.

I targeted that dog�s face, and I fired.

Just at the instant when I fired, I had the strange sensation that I knew this dog from somewhere.

But it was too late by then. Way too late.

At a distance of ten feet, the spray hit with the accuracy of a laser-guided smart missile.

ROWR? ROWR?

The dog stopped dead in his tracks. The look in his eyes was sheer horror. How could it be?

How could the little black-and-white creature have done this to him?

And then, I heard something that made me feel really bad.

�Homer? What�s the matter, boy?� Jake asked. �Oh. Ohhhhh, Homer! I told you not to follow me into the woods.�

�Rrrreww rrrreeewww rrreeewww,� Homer whined pitifully.

Jake, Marco, Rachel, and Ax all came up at a run. Marco was already laughing.

�You hosed Homer!� Marco giggled. �Cassie sprayed Homer! Wait, that is Cassie, right?�

I seriously considered pretending to be some other skunk.

<Sorry, Jake,> I said.

�Man, that is nasty,� Rachel commented. �No offense, Cassie. But I mean � gag! Oh. Ugh.�

<Fascinating,> Ax said. <That is possibly the worst thing I have ever smelled.>

Homer tried to nuzzle up to Jake, but as much as Jake loves his dog, he was not going for it. �I don�t think so, big guy. I told you to stay home. But oh no, Homer, you had to come with me. Now, go home. HOME, boy!�

Homer decided home might be a better place than the forest, after all. He trotted off, tail between his legs.

 Ax said calmly. 

�Take me with you,� Marco muttered.

�Well, this is perfect,� Jake said. �Wonderful. My parents are going to so appreciate it when Homer gets back to the house reeking of skunk. Man, let�s move away from this spot, okay? I mean, jeez, that�s just awful.�

We moved away from the scene of the stink, back toward the den. I led the kits inside, where they seemed happy to curl up and sleep. It had been an exciting outing for them.

I went back outside and demorphed. �Homer will be okay if you bathe him in tomato juice and leave him outside for a few days,� I said to Jake. �Sorry.�

�Not as sorry as Homer is,� Jake said. �But we have bigger problems. Look, Cassie, we came to find you and Tobias. That guy Farrand? Ax and Marco tapped into the Yeerk computer at the logging camp.�

�Yeah,� Marco grinned. �The Ax-man knows his way around computers.�

�Yeah, well, we found something out. Farrand isn�t arriving this weekend. He�s coming early. He�s coming to cast the final vote on the logging in this forest. In fact, he�ll be here in about an hour.�

So, that's got to be bad fot their relationship. But, there we go. The confrontation is starting.

# ? Sep 15, 2020 01:41

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

Kinda curious if an animorph could involuntarily shift in their sleep during a nightmare. The termite episode alone seems like that would spark some vivid, ingrained trauma. Though I guess that's true for just about every book so far.

# ? Sep 15, 2020 16:54

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

Grammarchist posted:

Kinda curious if an animorph could involuntarily shift in their sleep during a nightmare. The termite episode alone seems like that would spark some vivid, ingrained trauma. Though I guess that's true for just about every book so far.

Doesn't this happen in the book where Rachel gets allergic to an alligator morph?

# ? Sep 15, 2020 18:22

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The Secret-Chapter 19

quote:

�We have an hour to make plans and get ready,� Jake said. �One hour. Less, since we have to get into position.�

�Okay, what do we know?� Marco asked. �We know this Farrand guy is the one who makes the final decision on the Yeerks going forward. We know he�s not a Controller or he would have already voted to let the logging begin.�

�We know the Yeerks won�t leave it to chance,� Rachel said. �He�s coming here to the site. They�ll be ready to do an involuntary infestation. They have some slug sitting in a vat right now, waiting to crawl in the man�s ear.�

<They may just try to persuade this human,> Ax suggested. <They prefer voluntary infestations. And if they can get this human to give them his vote, they may simply let him go.>

i don't know that I believe that. Even if they can get him to agree to this, he's important enough that having him as a Yeerk would be useful/

quote:

�So what do we do, attack?� Rachel asked. �Just storm in and mess everything up?�

<Hey. Shhh,> Tobias said.

�What?� Rachel asked him.

<Don�t you guys hear that? Even human ears should hear that.>

We all listened very intently. Then it came, carried on the breeze - the sound of diesel engines.

�Probably just our friends the Yeerks, moving their heavy equipment around. Putting it in nice, neat rows for the commissioner,� Jake said. But then he thought it over and added, �Tobias? You mind going up to take a look?�

Tobias flapped his wings and soared above the treetops and out of sight.

�Okay, back to business,� Jake said. �One way or the other, this Farrand guy is the key. If he votes yes, the Yeerks can log in this forest. If he votes no, they can�t. Not without attracting way too much attention.�

�Assuming they let Farrand live long enough to vote no,� Rachel said.

�That�s our job, then,� I suggested. �We have to keep Farrand alive, and keep them from making him a Controller.�

Everyone nodded.

�Too bad I have no idea how to do that,� I admitted.

Just then, Tobias came rocketing down out of the sky. <They�ve already started!> he yelled as he shot past to land on a branch.

�Started what?� I asked.

<The Yeerks. They�ve started cutting trees. And they are coming this way!>

�Well,� Jake said. �I guess that settles the question of whether the Yeerks are going to infest this guy.�

�They don�t care what this guy sees when he gets here,� Rachel said. �They don�t care about convincing him. This poor man already has a Yeerk slug with his name on it.�

<You wouldn�t believe how fast those machines can rip through trees!> Tobias said, obviously shaken up. <They�re cutting trees like a farmer cuts wheat.>

<And we have one of your hours to help this commissioner,> Ax said. Then, he focused his two stalk eyes on the skunk burrow. <The small ones are right in the path of the loggers, if Tobias is correct.>

I expected Marco to make some snide remark about how no one cared about the skunks at a time like this. But to my amazement he said, �Hey, no one messes with the skunks. Those skunks are under official Animorph protection.� He winked at me and gave me a mocking clenched fist salute. �Save
the skunks, Earth Sister!�

Marco is such a pain in the butt. But then, just when you think he�s going to drive you crazy, he�ll come through big time for you.

�Yeah, these are our skunks,� Rachel said. �No one messes with our skunks.�

�Excuse me? Hello?� Jake interrupted. �A plan? A plan, please?�

�Well �� I began.

�What?� Jake asked me.

I shrugged. �If Farrand is the key, we need to grab the key. Right? Chances are they�ll have to turn the force field off in order to get him into the camp. That�s when we get him away from the Yeerks. No matter what it takes.�

�Grab Farrand,� Marco said. �Simple. Elegant. And yet, given the Yeerk power in that compound of theirs, completely suicidal. I�m surprised at you, Cassie. Usually Rachel�s the one to come up with a totally suicidal plan.�

�You have a better idea?� Jake asked Marco.

�We could go home and watch TV.�

�I�ll take that as a no.� Jake rubbed his hands together. �Okay, then. We snatch this Farrand guy as soon as he shows up. In the meantime, we have to slow down those tree-cutting machines.�

Rachel grinned. �Cool.�

I felt sick.

Well, this brings stuff to a head.

The Secret-Chapter 20

quote:

There was only one way for a person to reach the Yeerk logging camp by car. They had to drive down the long, dirt road that the Yeerks had cut through the forest.

Jake wanted me to go with Tobias and see if we could spot Farrand coming in.

Jake made some quick decisions. He, Marco, Rachel, and Ax took off, leaving me with Tobias.

I looked up ruefully at Tobias. �You and me, I guess.�

<I�m always glad to have you along,> Tobias said.

I began to morph into an osprey. It was my bird of prey morph, and the only thing I had that could keep up with Tobias in the air.

�Look, Tobias? This has been bothering me. And since � you know � I want to get this off my chest. I�m sorry I got mad at you over the skunk kit. You were just doing what you had to do,� I said.

I could feel my bones thinning and hollowing out. Gray feathers began to paint their patterns on my arms.

 Tobias said. 

�Okay, then why do you?� I asked, just before my mouth mutated into a beak.

<Because I�m not just a human. I�m also a hawk. Hawks hunt live prey. Would it be better if I let you do my killing for me? Is it more moral if I eat a frozen mouse you get from some supplier?>

<Look, Tobias, I know all about how nature works. I know about predators and prey. It�s just � it�s just confusing. I mean, where does right and wrong come into it?>

Snowy-white feathers were growing all down my front, replacing the fabric of my morphing suit.

My feet were becoming pale gray talons.



My human eyes were giving way to the incredibly amazing hawk vision. There was some color distortion because these eyes were adapted for seeing through water. The osprey eats fish. Nature designed them to see fish, even below the shimmering surface of a lake or river.

<Ready to fly?> Tobias asked.

I flapped my wings a couple of times. <Let�s go.> I said, trying to sound like Rachel.

Tobias flapped his wings, caught a headwind, and suddenly shot almost straight up. I opened my wings and contracted the tireless flying muscles. Flap, flap, flap, and I also caught the breeze. I flapped to get above the trees, then a stronger breeze came up and I soared high.

It�s like stepping on a very fast escalator. Zoom! I flapped hard, wanting the sensation of speed.

Tobias was ahead of me, and as I flew, I watched him. I watched the incredibly subtle movements of his wings. He almost seemed to be able to move individual feathers. For him, the wind was not invisible. It was a road, as clear as if it was blacktop.

As I followed him, I sensed the osprey brain beneath my own, adjusting and reacting to the wind.

My eyes saw every small detail. They marked each animal, each hole where an animal might be hiding. I saw a bright stream, and saw the shadows of fish flitting through the rocks.

My osprey had been designed by nature for this - flying high and finding prey. Just like Tobias.

We flew up and up. The tops of trees were like some bumpy lawn beneath us. I could see all of the Yeerk logging camp. And I could see the massive yellow machines that were slicing through the trees like hot knives through butter. Already there was an ugly scar of stumps. A scar that spread like
some terrible disease, eating the forest away.

Tobias veered right, toward the long, winding road through the trees. I banked my wings and went after him.

The stream joined a small river, rushing and bubbling alongside the road. Through the water, through the foam and bubbles, I saw the schools of fish darting. And I could feel the osprey�s brain considering the situation. Measuring the distances. Calculating the angles. Planning the way it would skim low over the surface of the water, then lower its ripping talons at just the perfect moment to
strike. To snatch a fish right out of the water.

I knew that Tobias was making the same calculations as he flew over mice and rats and rabbits � and skunks.

Tobias and I were two superb, beautiful killers, riding the wind, while our prey cowered beneath us.

But he was right. We had as much of a right to live as any of our prey. And we had been designed by millions of years of evolution to be predators.

<There,> Tobias said. <A Jeep.>

I looked and saw the vehicle coming down the road. Then, with my amazingly acute hawk vision, I saw right through the windows, as though the glass were the surface of a stream. <Three guys. One driving, and one beside him. There�s one guy in the backseat, and he looks older.>

<Yep. And on the side of the Jeep it says Dapsen Lumber. My guess is the driver and the other guy are Controllers. The guy in the backseat is looking all around like he�s very interested in what�s going on.>

<They�ll reach the camp in a few minutes. As soon as we see how this Farrand guy reacts, we�ll know if he�s already been made into a Controller,> I said.

<How�s that?>

<The Yeerks have gone ahead with logging,> I explained. <If Farrand is still a true human, he�ll be massively upset. If he�s calm, he�s already one of them.>

<Good point.> Tobias said.

<What do we do? I mean, if he�s a Controller already?> I asked.



<Really? You know what we�d do if he were a nonhuman Controller?> I asked. <We�d go after him and whatever happened, happened. Right?>

<You mean, like a termite?> Tobias asked dryly.

<Yeah. That�s exactly what I mean,> I said.

<Look, Cassie, you�re human. Homo sapien. Your job is to keep yourself and your species alive. That�s all nature wants from you. That�s the whole point of evolution - to survive.> He sounded angry.

We were following the Jeep now, heading back toward the logging camp. It would happen in just a few minutes. In just a few minutes Farrand would see what was going on, and we would know what he truly was.

One of us, or one of them.

<Survive,> I said flatly.

<That�s the law of nature. The number one law. And humans are part of nature.>

<Then so are the Yeerks, and we�re no better than them.>

 Tobias said. <Look.>

The Jeep pulled to a stop in front of the Yeerk fortress.

Farrand flung open his door and jumped out. I could easily see him waving his arms. Even from where I was I could see the anger on his face.

Then from the building there came a man.

And yet � this man felt wrong. Even from up in the air, I felt a chill that seemed to emanate from him.

<Him,> Tobias said.

I knew instantly what Tobias meant.

 Tobias said.

Visser Three.

I liked this chapter. I liked Cassie and Tobias's conversation, because I think it helped bring to focus a lot of her doubts.

# ? Sep 16, 2020 01:13

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

It'd be kinda funny if the solution to all this was to morph a Bald Eagle and do a photo shoot of an endangered species nesting in the path of a logging operation. Or morph the gorilla and start a Sasquatch rumor to overwhelm the Yeerks with conspiracy theorists.

# ? Sep 16, 2020 06:06

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Grammarchist posted:

It'd be kinda funny if the solution to all this was to morph a Bald Eagle and do a photo shoot of an endangered species nesting in the path of a logging operation. Or morph the gorilla and start a Sasquatch rumor to overwhelm the Yeerks with conspiracy theorists.

There will be a book coming up where the dilemma is solved by creatively using a morph at a PR event, for what that's worth.

# ? Sep 16, 2020 06:30

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

nine-gear crow posted:

There will be a book coming up where the dilemma is solved by creatively using a morph at a PR event, for what that's worth.

Is this when they all go elephant and rhino to trash the G8 meeting or are you referring to something else?

fake edit - just realised you're talking about the parrots

# ? Sep 16, 2020 07:09

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

Ax referring to the skunk kits as "the small ones" broke my heart in half for some reason.

I really liked Tobias and Cassie, I don't think we've really seen that pairing and I think between the two of them, they're the heart of the Animorphs. I remember the termite section loving me up almost as bad as the ants in book 5 as a kid.

Can't wait to see what this forum does with the next book 😈

# ? Sep 16, 2020 07:16

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

freebooter posted:

Is this when they all go elephant and rhino to trash the G8 meeting or are you referring to something else?

fake edit - just realised you're talking about the parrots

No, it's when Marco gets Not Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Yeerk Celebrity, to lose his cool and strangle him while he's morphed as a poodle in the middle of a press event by razzing him non-stop with thought speak and it torpedoes both his acting career and infesting hapless humans career.

Jesus Christ, they do this a lot it seems...

# ? Sep 16, 2020 07:17

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

nine-gear crow posted:

No, it's when Marco gets Not Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Yeerk Celebrity, to lose his cool and strangle him while he's morphed as a poodle in the middle of a press event by razzing him non-stop with thought speak and it torpedoes both his acting career and infesting hapless humans career.

Jesus Christ, they do this a lot it seems...

I literally had no idea what any of you were talking about and thought it was some intro event involved with (book 16 spoiler) jake being a rhino and crashing into the bill gates house or maybe the david stuff? No idea. This series breeds compete uncertainty

# ? Sep 16, 2020 07:20

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

I literally had no idea what any of you were talking about and thought it was some intro event involved with (book 16 spoiler) jake being a rhino and crashing into the bill gates house or maybe the david stuff? No idea. This series breeds compete uncertainty

I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing that there's so many recurring instances of certain things in this series that even when you're being completely specific about events it leads to not just single, but MULTIPLE questions of "Wait, did you mean [other time this exact thing happens]?" :v:

# ? Sep 16, 2020 07:26

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

nine-gear crow posted:

I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing that there's so many recurring instances of certain things in this series that even when you're being completely specific about events it leads to not just single, but MULTIPLE questions of "Wait, did you mean [other time this exact thing happens]?"

You're an Animorph now. You can't tell anyone your name. You can't tell them where you're from...

# ? Sep 16, 2020 07:34

Shwoo: Jul 21, 2011

nine-gear crow posted:

No, it's when Marco gets Not Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Yeerk Celebrity, to lose his cool and strangle him while he's morphed as a poodle in the middle of a press event by razzing him non-stop with thought speak and it torpedoes both his acting career and infesting hapless humans career.

Jesus Christ, they do this a lot it seems...

That's not how they defeated Not Jonathon Taylor Thomas, they defeated him by, um... I think they accidentally unleashed a crocodile in the TV studio? And his Yeerk ran off and got stepped on, and then he moved to Uzbekistan. It was the self-help guy from book 35 that poodle Marco harassed into trying to strangle him on live TV.

...Kind of weird that there's at least two books in this series about both uncontrolled morphing and celebrity Controllers shilling for the Sharing.

I love that this book seems to be a pretty forgettable one for a lot of people who read it, and it's still full of horror and philosophical discussions. That's just how Animorphs is.

# ? Sep 16, 2020 09:43

OctaviusBeaver: Apr 30, 2009; Say what now?

I think that the Sharing is almost a Scientology stand in so it makes sense that they have so many celebrity backers.

# ? Sep 16, 2020 15:21

Karma Comedian: Feb 2, 2012

This book is great but isn't the next one where Marco goes to see the offspring in concert as a dog?

# ? Sep 16, 2020 15:48

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

The Kids Aren't Alright

# ? Sep 16, 2020 18:57

pastor of muppets: Aug 21, 2007; We were somewhere around the Living Hive, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold...

That is the most 90's middle school thing ever and I love it.

# ? Sep 16, 2020 19:17

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

I'm almost glad I never read these books. I have less time now, but I think I need this brand of kid-gorilla-guerrilla shenanigans more than ever.

# ? Sep 16, 2020 23:24

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

Karma Comedian posted:

This book is great but isn't the next one where Marco goes to see the offspring in concert as a dog?

It is that one. One of the brain worms coming up that always stuck with me for some reason was Cassie referring to Nine Inch Nails as Nice Is Neat. The lineup of the concert in book 10 is so funny.

(Incredibly minor book 12 spoiler with zero plot relevance)

# ? Sep 17, 2020 00:49

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

It is that one. One of the brain worms coming up that always stuck with me for some reason was Cassie referring to Nine Inch Nails as Nice Is Neat. The lineup of the concert is so funny.

(Incredibly minor book 12 spoiler with zero plot relevance)

You've got that one wrong, Nice is Neat is Cassie's mother trying to be cool.

# ? Sep 17, 2020 00:50

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The Secret-Chapter 21

quote:

Visser Three.

The leader of the Yeerk invasion of Earth. The only Yeerk in all the universe to have taken control of an Andalite body. The only Yeerk in all the universe with the power to morph. It shouldn�t have surprised me that he would use his human morph. It made sense.

And yet I felt a cold rage deep inside me at the sight. It wasn�t logical, but I felt it just the same. He was a fake human. He was using human DNA and human form as part of his plan to enslave all of humanity.

<Visser Three,> I said to Tobias.

<Yeah,> he agreed. <He looks so normal. Except for the fact that he gives you the creeps.>

 I said. 

Farrand was walking toward Visser Three, still waving his hands wildly toward the heavy machinery that was chewing through the trees. Visser Three was smiling. It was not a nice smile.

<Where are Jake and the others?> Tobias wondered.

<Oh, man,> I said. <This is going to happen real ->

All of a sudden, Visser Three lashed out and slapped Farrand across the face. The commissioner staggered back. He held a hand to his cheek.

The two men from the Jeep rushed to grab Farrand�s arms. Farrand was an older man. He was helpless.

<Cassie. Look. That�s either Jake, or there is some other tiger loose in these woods!>

No, sorry. That was just the other tiger.

quote:

I looked toward the clearing. Now I could see it - a huge, orange-striped tiger was racing toward Farrand. But he was too far away. It had all happened too suddenly. Jake wasn�t in position. I didn�t even know where the others were. Probably still morphing.

<It�s up to us.> I said.

I adjusted my wings, aimed for Visser Three, and dove. Down, down, down. Faster and faster, till my wings were vibrating and my bones were rattling from the speed.

The target, Visser Three�s human head, grew larger. Larger. Larger!

I raked my talons forward, I flared my wings just enough to keep from overshooting, and I struck.

I could feel my talons bite into his scalp. And then I was out of there, carried away by my own momentum.

�Aaarrrgghh!� the Visser yelled.

At the same instant, Tobias hit one of the guys from the Jeep. Tobias has more experience than I do. His aim is better. The guy he hit would be wearing an eyepatch for the rest of his life.

Tobias always goes for the eyes.

quote:

<Yeee hah!> Tobias cried.

Farrand broke free of his remaining captor and ran.

�Get him!� Visser Three yelled. �Full alert!�

The uninjured guard went after Farrand. He caught him easily and knocked him facedown in the dirt. I saw Jake closing in fast, a black-and-orange streak.

Looking past him, I saw that there was a second battle out by the edge of the forest. Two wolves - Rachel and Marco - were on the Controllers operating the machines. The perimeter guards had come running, automatic weapons ready.

Suddenly, fast as a gazelle, Ax ran to help Rachel. The nearest guard turned to take a shot. Ax�s tail flashed, and the Controller no longer had a way to pull a trigger.

Arm amputation watch.

quote:

Just beneath me, the other Controller from the Jeep kicked Farrand, who was struggling to get up.

That was too much for me. I wheeled in the air and went back for a second run.

<Cassie!> Tobias cried a warning.

The front door of the building flew open and they began spilling out - a half dozen human- Controllers, each armed. And worse � far worse, four big Hork-Bajir.

But it was too late to back off. I was already diving.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

I heard the first two bullets go whizzing past me.

I felt the third bullet hit my wing. It went straight through my right wing, and I tumbled from the air, suddenly as ungainly as a chicken.

I fell. Helpless, I fell.

WHUMP!

I slammed hard into the ground.

Dizzy and confused, I thought I saw Jake leap toward a Hork-Bajir warrior. But I couldn�t be sure. I was fading. Fading �

My world grew small and dark. I could no longer see anything far away. I could focus only on the ground right before me.

An ant was marching by, carrying a dead bug. Maybe I was just imagining things, as I sank into unconsciousness. Maybe my brain was making up things that weren�t there. But I could almost have sworn that the ant was carrying the dead, dried-out husk of the termite queen.

And then everything went black.

So how many times in this series has an animorph gotten captured?

The Secret-Chapter 22

quote:

I woke up in a sort of large box. It was dark, but not totally without light. There were small round holes drilled in the sides of the box. Airholes. I could see the commissioner, Farrand, unconscious on the floor beside me.

He looked old. He was mostly bald and had hair growing out of his ears. There was blood trickling from a shallow cut on his forehead.

�Turn on the perimeter defenses!� Visser Three yelled.

I could hear him clearly. I was still an osprey, but ospreys have good hearing. It was strange, being able to hear the Yeerk Visser�s voice. We always encountered him when he was in his own stolen Andalite body. Then he communicated only in thought-speak.

�You! And you! Keep your eyes on that box,� Visser Three snapped. �If anything � anything, no matter how small tries to get out of there, destroy it! There�s an Andalite bandit in that box, and there had better be an Andalite bandit in that box when this is over. Or I�ll destroy you both!�

Andalite bandit. That was me. Of course, if I didn�t get out of the box, I would have to demorph eventually and Visser Three would see the truth - that I was a human.

And I would have to demorph soon. My wing felt like it was on fire. The pain was terrible.

�Visser! The Andalite bandits have turned the heavy equipment toward us!� someone yelled. �Then turn on the force field!�

�But � but Visser � our own people will be trapped outside of the force field.�

The Visser�s voice suddenly became very quiet. A very dangerous kind of quiet. �Did I just hear you question my order?�

�No! No Visser! I�m turning on the force field!�

Worst boss.

quote:

Farrand moaned. He moved his head a little, but then became quiet again.

Okay, Cassie, think. Think.

Obviously, my friends were still fighting. They must be winning, or the Visser would not turn on the force field.

They had seized control of some of the machines and turned them against this building. As soon as the force field went up, the heavy equipment would be useless.

And time was on the side of the Yeerks. Visser Three would have called in more help. The Bug fighters full of fresh Hork-Bajir could be landing any minute. When that happened, all would be lost.

We were done for.

No! Think, Cassie! This was the game of predator and prey. This was war. What was the Yeerks� weakness? What did they need that I could take away?

Farrand moaned again.

Of course!

I took a deep breath. I began to morph quickly out of the pain-wracked osprey body, back to my own human form. Morphing works on DNA, and DNA is not affected by injuries. My reconstructed human body would be normal.

It was cramped in the box, with two humans in there. I was hunched over Farrand when his eyes fluttered open. I was already beginning my next morph. What the man saw was the face of a girl. But a face that was sprouting luxuriant black-and-white fur.

His eyes closed again. He would think it was all a dream. Hopefully.

�Hah!� I heard Visser Three crow. �The force field has stopped them!�

�Visser! The first Bug fighters will land here in fifteen minutes.�

<Got them!> Visser Three said. <This time, I�ve got them!>

He was using thought-speak. The Visser had demorphed.

I focused all my thoughts. I knew what I had to do. But it was dangerous. I had to communicate with the Visser in thought-speak. And I had to do it without giving him any hint that I was a human.

No long conversation. Monotone voice. As few words as possible. No images of any kind.

<Visser,> I said. <I�ll kill the human.>

That was Visser Three�s weakness - he needed Farrand alive. That was the pressure point. By threatening to kill Farrand, I threatened the Visser�s plan.
See, you can�t make a Controller out of a corpse.

The Visser instantly understood.

<Everyone in this room! Weapons on the box! Be prepared on my command to shoot the Andalite without hitting the human! It may be in any sort of wild, deadly animal morph! Do not let it escape.>

I got into position. The human me was scared. But the skunk me was perfectly calm. The skunk knew it had the ultimate weapon.

Suddenly, the door of the box flew open.

Visser Three stood there in his Andalite body, with his deadly Andalite tail cocked and ready to strike. Beside him, on either side, stood half a dozen armed human-Controllers. And in between the humans, towering above them, five huge Hork-Bajir warriors.

The human-Controllers leveled their weapons.

The Hork-Bajir had weapons, too, but they didn�t need them. Hork-Bajir are weapons, seven feet of ankle blades, knee blades, elbow blades, forehead spikes, and armored tail - like Stegosaurus meets Klingon.

All this awesome deadly destructive power stared down at me.

Visser Three aimed his Andalite stalk eyes at me. His main eyes were already staring in amusement.

<This is the best you could do, Andalite scum?> He laughed. <Such a terrifying beast you�ve morphed!> He laughed again.

He laughed at the chubby, cat-sized black-and-white animal in the box. Laughed at the way I stood with my back to him, tail raised, looking over my shoulder.

A skunk can fire its scent with amazing accuracy up to about fourteen feet.

The Visser was only six feet away.

<Kill it,> Visser Three ordered coldly.

But I fired first.

A skunk can fire its scent in five to seven shots.

I fired once and hit the Visser in the face.

I fired again and hit the nearest Hork-Bajir on the left. Again and hit two human-Controllers.

Again and again, all within about three seconds.

<Aaaarggghh!>

�Oh, guh, guh, ohhhhh. Ohhhh!�

�Herunt gahal! Stink! Arrrr!�

The Visser staggered back, blinded and reeling from the mighty stench. The human-Controllers covered their mouths with their hands. Some even dropped their weapons.

The Hork-Bajir I was worried about. I didn�t know if Hork-Bajir even had a sense of smell.

Turns out they do.

Turns out they have an excellent sense of smell. Too bad.

The Hork-Bajir were the first to panic. One fired his Dracon beam wildly.

<Don�t shoot, you fools!> Visser Three screamed. <You�ll hit the human! Or me!>

Actually, what they had hit was the floor. A big, smoldering hole appeared in the wood.

�Reeking fernall gahal!� one Hork-Bajir kept bellowing in the odd mix of English and their own tongue.

Then the Hork-Bajir lost it completely. They turned and ran for the door.

Personally, I didn�t see what they were so excited about.

It didn�t smell bad to me.

When all you have is a skunk, make skunkade?

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:05

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

It may be a little formulaic but I'm really coming to enjoy all the books that start off with using a morph for fun, harmless purposes that "Jake wouldn't approve of." Especially when it's Jake. Just teens being teens, turning into seagulls so they can steal people's french fries or whatever.

e: well the timing on that post stank like a skunk

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:08

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

You've got that one wrong, Nice is Neat is Cassie's mother trying to be cool.

You've got it wrong, Cassie lies to her mom that NIN stands for Nice is Neat so that she can get the CD

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:09

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Speaking as someone that doesn't have skunks in his country, is it really that bad?

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:15

Soup du Jour: Sep 8, 2011; I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Speaking as someone that doesn't have skunks in his country, is it really that bad?

it�s loving horrible

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:19

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

It's really bad.

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:29

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

On a scale from "smells good" to "skunk spray", rotten eggs are closer to the "smells good" side, and if you get sprayed it lingers for a longass time.

Piell fucked around with this message at 01:33 on Sep 17, 2020

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:30

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Let me rephrase that.

Is it "drop your weapons in the middle of a serious situation" type bad?

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:33

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Let me rephrase that.

Is it "drop your weapons in the middle of a serious situation" type bad?

It's "Can't hold on to your weapons because you're too busy vomiting" type bad.

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:40

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Let me rephrase that.

Is it "drop your weapons in the middle of a serious situation" type bad?

If you get hit in the face as they seem to have been, quite reasonably.

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:40

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Huh. I guess it's one of those 'have to experience it to believe it' things.

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:50

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Huh. I guess it's one of those 'have to experience it to believe it' things.

A couple weeks ago, a skunk sprayed something across the street from us at about 2AM. I know it was 2AM because both my girlfriend and I immediately woke up in a fight-or-flight panic. That was from probably 50 feet away.

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:56

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

From what I understand, skunk spray is basically organic mace.

# ? Sep 17, 2020 04:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 19:55

SardonicTyrant: Feb 26, 2016; BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&

That said, skunks only spray if they feel threatened. Otherwise they're pretty friendly animals. Some people even adopt them as pets.

# ? Sep 17, 2020 04:51

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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