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A half-life if you will
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Sep 25, 2020 16:16
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If I have to wear pants in heaven I'm gonna sucker-punch Jesus
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Sep 25, 2020 16:58
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Icochet posted:If I have to wear pants in heaven I'm gonna sucker-punch Jesus Get in line!
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Sep 25, 2020 17:01
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Heaven and hell are the same place and they lobotomize you before you get in and the only difference is whether it takes or not.
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Sep 25, 2020 17:27
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Can't lobotomize if you don't have a brain
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Sep 25, 2020 17:39
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Literally A Person posted:It's the afterlife but the only other person there is Dio and he won't shut the gently caress up about Dungeons and Dragons poo poo and it's just like, man, shut the hell up for five minutes. Dio the guy, or Dio the robot from Rise of Skywalker?
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Sep 25, 2020 17:47
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YeahTubaMike posted:Dio the guy, or Dio the robot from Rise of Skywalker? Literally A Person posted:Ronnie. James.
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Sep 25, 2020 18:03
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"Heard a lot of talk about this Jesus A man of love and a man of strength But what a man was two thousand years ago Means nothing at all to me today He could have been Telling me about my higher self But he only lives inside my prayer So what he was may have been beautiful But the pain is right now and right here". - Live This sums it up for me.
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Sep 25, 2020 18:13
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Literally A Person posted:Ronnie. James. Nice. Sounds heavenly to me.
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Sep 25, 2020 18:43
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Colonel Cancer posted:A half-life if you will they're waiting for you, gordon... in the cremation chamber
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Sep 25, 2020 18:47
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Star Me Kitten posted:It'd be cool if hell existed and the rest of us good expired folk that are no longer bound by space and time could just watch what goes on down there like it was a primetime television drama. I'm just saying it'd be a cool way to pass the time on a Thursday evening. heaven is vacationing in hawaii Literally A Person posted:Then they give you a condo and put you to work in the souvenir shops. hell is living in hawaii
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Sep 25, 2020 19:21
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The White Dragon posted:heaven is vacationing in hawaii I think the real hell is being Hawaiian and watching all these death tourists moving in and ruining the place.
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Sep 25, 2020 19:26
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so do you get married in the afterlife or is it free love for all? what about your sex appeal? do you get assigned a partner if you’re too ugly or what exactly?
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Sep 26, 2020 00:33
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If you can't get laid on earth your soul is annihilated
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Sep 26, 2020 00:46
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What about asexuals or eunuchs
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Sep 26, 2020 00:55
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Shinku ABOOKEN posted:so do you get married in the afterlife or is it free love for all? what about your sex appeal? do you get assigned a partner if you’re too ugly or what exactly? in heaven u turn into the husbando or waifu version of yourself. everyone's with a dick has one bigger than their forearm, the titties are bigger than your head, etc etc. in hell u turn into the redditposting version of yourself. your body fat percentage is no less than 45. e: if u are already the redditposting version of yourself, u turn into the channer version. then kf/doxxer version of yourself, and eventually the blackpilled version of yourself, but this is reserved for the ninth circle of hell Fur20 fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Sep 26, 2020 |
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Sep 26, 2020 01:01
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Colonel Cancer posted:What about asexuals or eunuchs Soul annihilation
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Sep 26, 2020 01:39
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Colonel Cancer posted:What about asexuals or eunuchs I don't make the rules of the afterlife.
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Sep 26, 2020 01:54
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And people who don't use turn signals?
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Sep 26, 2020 02:12
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Shinku ABOOKEN posted:so do you get married in the afterlife or is it free love for all? what about your sex appeal? do you get assigned a partner if you’re too ugly or what exactly? I think it's like a What Dreams May Come kinda thing. So if polyamory is your thing, it's ALL yours. Or you get that special someone.... or something. Whatever is your fancy. And it's like the matrix: you have a residual self image. Colonel Cancer posted:And people who don't use turn signals? I mean.. HELL. But c'mon. you knew that.
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Sep 26, 2020 05:42
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Star Me Kitten posted:I think it's like a What Dreams May Come kinda thing. So if polyamory is your thing, it's ALL yours. Or you get that special someone.... or something. Whatever is your fancy. And it's like the matrix: you have a residual self image. your "special someone" can't stand to be in the same planet as you. now what?
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Sep 26, 2020 12:56
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Why would afterlife even have planets, it's all shimmering void
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Sep 26, 2020 13:19
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Shinku ABOOKEN posted:your "special someone" can't stand to be in the same planet as you. now what? There’s unlimited special someones, like at a buffet!
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Sep 26, 2020 14:40
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What if they are just a product of your imagination and this heaven is just a lonesome eternity of mindless self indulgence
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Sep 26, 2020 15:33
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there is no "after-life" because life is just an illusion. when you die you realize that the physical world doesn't actually exist and it was all in your mind. ideas and thoughts are the only things that are real
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Sep 26, 2020 15:37
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How can life be real when mind isn't real
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Sep 26, 2020 15:39
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If nothing is real and everything is just a product of my imagination and I am finally conscious of that, I will create some friends that are worth a drat to hang out with and a partner that doesn’t constantly disappoint me
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Sep 26, 2020 15:49
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Star Me Kitten posted:If nothing is real and everything is just a product of my imagination and I am finally conscious of that, I will create some friends that are worth a drat to hang out with and a partner that doesn’t constantly disappoint me I would suggest hanging out with and dating people you actually like.
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Sep 26, 2020 16:10
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Star Me Kitten posted:If nothing is real and everything is just a product of my imagination and I am finally conscious of that, I will create some friends that are worth a drat to hang out with and a partner that doesn’t constantly disappoint me You can't have the impossible, not even in heaven.
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Sep 26, 2020 16:12
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When I was a kid I always hoped that when you die you get reincarnated as a kid in the pokemon universe. I still hope that is what happens. Anything but whatever Swedenborg had in mind tho, work in the afterlife, gently caress that.
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Sep 26, 2020 16:18
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Literally A Person posted:I would suggest hanging out with and dating people you actually like. Nah that's not possible don't be daft
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Sep 26, 2020 16:53
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The bible is more plausible than me getting a girlfriend
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Sep 26, 2020 17:31
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Jesus once turned a fish into girlfriends for the believers
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Sep 26, 2020 17:38
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This world is practice for the next. If you drink deeply from the fountain of life, and live life boldly, you will be able to pierce the veil of the afterlife and the universe is open to you. If you live in constant fear, timid and brittle and easily wounded, the next life will be just like this one: a quagmire of tar with the rest of the broken souls ensuring you never escape. I happen to know for a fact this is accurate. Cheers!
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Sep 26, 2020 17:41
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Icochet posted:The bible is more plausible than me getting a girlfriend Well stop wearing those no fear t-shirts man!
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Sep 26, 2020 18:13
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Everyone is so obsessed with the afterlife, but nobody ever thinks about the beforelife.
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Sep 26, 2020 18:23
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Star Me Kitten posted:Well stop wearing those no fear t-shirts man! I told you: i don't have the nerve to wear No Fear shirts I buy plain t-shirts and write "SOME FEAR" with glitter and glue. But that poo poo comes off in the wash so I never wash them, and a guy in a SOME FEAR shirt that's reeking of fear sweat isn't exactly the chick magnet Disney films might lead you to believe
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Sep 26, 2020 18:27
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Icochet posted:I told you: i don't have the nerve to wear No Fear shirts That is surprising. Glitter and glue sound like chick bait to me.
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Sep 26, 2020 18:33
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We are in the afterlife of everyone who has ever died. The afterlife could be better TBH
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Sep 26, 2020 18:34
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It's the afterlife but for one hour each day you have to watch Martin Short try to be funny. I mean, it's pure bliss twenty-three hours a day but 4:00 pm every SINGLE DAY it's Martin Short in a stifling little 60 seat theatre and for some reason the sound tech thinks he needs to have a floor mic going and your seat is like RIGHT NEXT to the loving PA speaker.
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Sep 26, 2020 18:51
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