I've never been to a glory hole restroom before

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Ventral EggSac: Dec 3, 2019

https://twitter.com/ChuckGrassley/status/529356795924725760

# ? Sep 29, 2020 18:21

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:00

Tofu Injection: Feb 10, 2006; No need to panic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYS8jyOcFc

cool I get an opportunity to share this with folks (NSFW tits and fake jizz)

# ? Sep 29, 2020 20:13

Mr_Companie: Jul 4, 2003; ARE YOU INTERESTED IN AN EXCITING BUISNESS OPPROTUNITY?

Moon Atari posted:

Provided the penis is small enough to receive medical diagnosis as a micropenis and this condition meets sufficient impairment criteria, then:

If the glory hole was built, altered or leased with funds supplied by the US government then this would likely be considered a breach of the Architectural Barriers Act of 1968. The person with penile disability should pursue or at least threaten legal action, the proprietors will then be compelled to provide them with a stall wall of a less discriminatory thickness. If they are US based and it is not a federally run or constructed gloryhole then I am sorry to say that this is just another injustice the micropenised must bear.

But if this is an Australia located micropenis and gloryhole then both our general building and bathroom/toilet specific standards for accessibility should cover them, such that if a building has been constructed or modified with a gloryhole it must allow for equitable access (either through modification of the existing gloryhole or provision of an additional micropenis specific gloryhole). The only exception would be if the gloryhole is located in a private residential dwelling or private noncommercial nonhabitable structure like a shed or garage, but since such holes wouldn't really allow for anonymous public access anyway (so might not even qualify as gloryholes), micropenis-havers down under should feel reassured that their right to receive anonymous blowjobs with the aid of a gloryhole is adequately protected.

However, this only applies to the facilities–the construction of the gloryhole. No one can compel private citizens accessing the gloryhole to not discriminate against and reject the micropenis, so even if the facilities are adequately inclusive it is likely still a fraught situation for the small or merely short dicked. Unfortunately, legal regulations can only solve so much. True equality will only be achieved through a significant cultural shift towards accepting and valuing the small dicked.

Yeah, get big government involved and tie it all up in paperwork for a year.

If you aren't already stocked, grab a skillsaw, a simple hand sander, and a variety pack of sandpaper from your local hardware store. Check the packaging on the paper - if it doesn't include a high grit count paper, consider picking up a single sheet of 1000 for finishing.

Now, return to the site and get to work widening the opening. Measure out and draw a larger, concentric circle around the opening - large enough to push back your fuda , and cut from the outside in to a rough 45 degree angle - then begin sanding, working from the lowest to highest number sandpaper, until the entrance feels accommodating.

You'll be smelling wood chips and finishing up with your new fit before you even get off the phone with those liberals at city hall.

# ? Sep 29, 2020 21:41

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Moon Atari posted:

Provided the penis is small enough to receive medical diagnosis as a micropenis and this condition meets sufficient impairment criteria, then:

If the glory hole was built, altered or leased with funds supplied by the US government then this would likely be considered a breach of the Architectural Barriers Act of 1968. The person with penile disability should pursue or at least threaten legal action, the proprietors will then be compelled to provide them with a stall wall of a less discriminatory thickness. If they are US based and it is not a federally run or constructed gloryhole then I am sorry to say that this is just another injustice the micropenised must bear.

But if this is an Australia located micropenis and gloryhole then both our general building and bathroom/toilet specific standards for accessibility should cover them, such that if a building has been constructed or modified with a gloryhole it must allow for equitable access (either through modification of the existing gloryhole or provision of an additional micropenis specific gloryhole). The only exception would be if the gloryhole is located in a private residential dwelling or private noncommercial nonhabitable structure like a shed or garage, but since such holes wouldn't really allow for anonymous public access anyway (so might not even qualify as gloryholes), micropenis-havers down under should feel reassured that their right to receive anonymous blowjobs with the aid of a gloryhole is adequately protected.

However, this only applies to the facilities–the construction of the gloryhole. No one can compel private citizens accessing the gloryhole to not discriminate against and reject the micropenis, so even if the facilities are adequately inclusive it is likely still a fraught situation for the small or merely short dicked. Unfortunately, legal regulations can only solve so much. True equality will only be achieved through a significant cultural shift towards accepting and valuing the small dicked.

Thank you for this; I have forwarded it to my lawyer who specializes in micropenis law.

# ? Sep 29, 2020 22:23

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

Jasus Christ posted:

https://twitter.com/ChuckGrassley/status/529356795924725760

Glory holin'?

# ? Sep 29, 2020 22:28

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Weka posted:

Pot Smoke Phoenix, while I appreciate your lyricism, I feel like we were all expecting you to actually sing these wonderful pieces you have created.

im working on a shatner version, I dont know if it will work out but ill try lol

# ? Sep 30, 2020 00:06

Into The Mild: Mar 4, 2003

I remember going to the toilet at a bar, and there was a glory hole... there was also a dude in the other stall.. I was constantly staring at the hole, afraid if a dick came through.

It was the most nerve racking poo poo I�ve ever had to do.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 01:13

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

You were supposed to stick your dick through man

# ? Sep 30, 2020 01:41

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

https://i.imgur.com/MaHuS4b.gif

# ? Sep 30, 2020 06:34

agrielaios: Dec 25, 2009

What do you call a glory hole with sharp edges? Raw dawgnot

# ? Sep 30, 2020 07:17

1000 Sweaty Rikers: Oct 13, 2005

agrielaios posted:

What do you call a glory hole with sharp edges? Raw dawgnot

gory hole

# ? Sep 30, 2020 07:27

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Highway to the Glory hole
Ride in to the glory hole.

Heading to the mall
Gonna get blown tonight
Got you pullin out your dick
Shove it through the little hole

Highway to the Glory hole
Ride in to the glory hole.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 07:28

EA Sports: Feb 10, 2007; by Azathoth

the grocery store i work4ed at had one. i figured it was a joke or something. they replaced the door every year but someone kept making one.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 09:04

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

# ? Sep 30, 2020 09:11

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Aug 15, 2007; Smoke 'em if you gottem!; Dinosaur Gum

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

im working on a shatner version, I dont know if it will work out but ill try lol

# ? Sep 30, 2020 16:13

Super Waffle: Sep 25, 2007; I'm a hermaphrodite and my parents (40K nerds) named me Slaanesh, THANKS MOM

I went to a Barnes & Noble the other night, and there was a steel plate bolted to the stall wall next to the urinal. I thought it a splash guard or something at the time, but now I know better.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 16:31

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Hello bathroom my old friend
I'm very horny once again
Now I'm going to face the wall
In this bathroom at the local mall
And drop my trousers right down on to my feet
And expose my meat

At the hole of glory

# ? Sep 30, 2020 17:45

Ventral EggSac: Dec 3, 2019

Super Waffle posted:

I went to a Barnes & Noble the other night, and there was a steel plate bolted to the stall wall next to the urinal. I thought it a splash guard or something at the time, but now I know better.

They shouldn't have blocked it off, brick and mortar stores gotta stay competitive, especially now.
Am I gonna risk COVID to pick up the latest Sue Grafton novel in person? Maybe if I get my dick sucked

# ? Sep 30, 2020 17:47

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

The Fattest PI posted:

You were supposed to stick your dick through man

Which man?

# ? Sep 30, 2020 17:51

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

Maybe you can pay for books by sucking dick.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 17:51

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Aug 15, 2007; Smoke 'em if you gottem!; Dinosaur Gum

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

splinter dick, splinter dick
guess who just got a splinter dick

can he cum? listen bud
he got jizz, mixed with blood

look out, here comes the splinter dick

Torquemada posted:

Papa was a rodeo, Mama was a rock'n'roll band
I could play guitar and rope a steer before I learned to stand
Home was anywhere with diesel gas, Love was a trucker's hand
Never stuck around long enough for a one night stand

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

Glory holes
Don�t pass �em by
Glory holes
Blow your load in a young guy�s eye
Glory holes
Glory hooooooooolllles

wesleywillis posted:

Papa loved the glory holes.
He only gave head through a hole
And when he died, all he left us was the hole

wesleywillis posted:

FTFY

Got money I'll do anything for you
Got money just tell me what you want me to
Got money nail me hard through the wall
Got money don't want anything except to drain his balls

No you can't take it
No you can't take it
No you can't take that away from me
No you can't take it
No you can't take it
No you can't take that away from me

Head through a hole,
That glory hole
I'd rather die
than give up that load

Head through a hole,
That glory hole
I'd rather die
than give up that load

Kneel down before the one you serve
You're going to get that creamy dessert

Kneel down before the one you serve
You're going to get that creamy dessert

wesleywillis posted:

Hello bathroom my old friend
I'm very horny once again
Now I'm going to face the wall
In this bathroom at the local mall
And drop my trousers right down on to my feet
And expose my meat

At the hole of glory

# ? Sep 30, 2020 17:58

Ventral EggSac: Dec 3, 2019

There is
a hole
in Applebee's
They call
Surprising Fun

And it's drank
the semen
of many a sore boy
and God
I know
I'm one

Ventral EggSac fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Sep 30, 2020

# ? Sep 30, 2020 18:35

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

Mine eyes have seen the glory
of the cumming of the Lord,
He is shooting out the semen
from the balls where piss is stored
He hath loosed its fateful spurting
of his goopy whitish hoard
This dong keeps cumming on

Glory! Glory! Holelujah! Glory! Glory! Holelujah!
Glory! Glory! Holelujah! This dong keeps cumming on

Mozi fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Sep 30, 2020

# ? Sep 30, 2020 18:44

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Glory hole for the horny and for the cum and the holy semen
As it was in the bathroom is now and always shall be
An orgasm without end

Semen

Hail horny full of jizz the hole is with thee
Blessed art thou among the horny
And blessed is the fruit of thy prostate jizzus
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!............
Pray for us jizzers now and at the hour of our loads
Semen

Our orgasm I art in heaven hallowed be thy hole.
Thou make me cum thy will shoot cum on Earth whilst I am in heaven. Give us this day our daily load and forgive us our tight asses as we forgive those whose tight asses reject us.
Lead us please into ejaculation and deliver us from herpes for thine is the king-cum, the sticky and the gooey now and forever

Semen

I'm going to hell

# ? Sep 30, 2020 19:13

Ventral EggSac: Dec 3, 2019

And you may find yourself
Sitting in a dingy bathroom
And you may find yourself
Looking at another hole in the wall
And you may find yourself
Gripping the toilet seat like the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself on the beautiful tiles
Getting beautifully piped
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?

Letting the days go by, let them glory hole me good
Letting the days go by, semen flowing on the ground
Into the hole again after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime, semen flowing on the ground

# ? Sep 30, 2020 19:29

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Can't post for 5 hours!; Ultra Carp

Shinku ABOOKEN posted:

splinter dick, splinter dick
guess who just got a splinter dick

can he cum? listen bud
he got jizz, mixed with blood

look out, here comes the splinter dick

# ? Sep 30, 2020 19:54

Super Waffle: Sep 25, 2007; I'm a hermaphrodite and my parents (40K nerds) named me Slaanesh, THANKS MOM

Mozi posted:

Mine eyes have seen the glory
of the cumming of the Lord,
He is shooting out the semen
from the balls where piss is stored
He hath loosed its fateful spurting
of his goopy whitish hoard
This dong keeps cumming on

Glory! Glory! Holelujah! Glory! Glory! Holelujah!
Glory! Glory! Holelujah! This dong keeps cumming on

# ? Sep 30, 2020 22:18

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

I believe, let it fly
I believe glory holes tonight
Squeeze my weenie through this cavity
Suck me off, till I release

# ? Sep 30, 2020 22:39

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

Mozi posted:

Mine eyes have seen the glory
of the cumming of the Lord,
He is shooting out the semen
from the balls where piss is stored
He hath loosed its fateful spurting
of his goopy whitish hoard
This dong keeps cumming on

Glory! Glory! Holelujah! Glory! Glory! Holelujah!
Glory! Glory! Holelujah! This dong keeps cumming on

This one is good.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 00:11

Chrs: Sep 21, 2015

A good joke is to slot a poop through the glory hole and surprise your neighbour

# ? Oct 1, 2020 00:23

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

The dicks go poking one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The dicks go poking one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The dicks go poking one by one
I suck it off and make it cum
And they all go poking trying get off in the hole

# ? Oct 1, 2020 00:38

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

They call it a glory hole because you can't kneel and use it.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 02:19

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Glory gang, glory gang, glory gang, glory gang, glory gang, glory gang, glory gang

# ? Oct 1, 2020 02:44

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

Gay Men's Health Magazine's Glory Hole Pro-Tips:

1. One of the things to keep in mind is that you can't guarantee you won't be met with an unusually grotesque, unhygienic or otherwise unworthy dick or mouth that you would never deign to suck or allow to suck you in any other context. This can be a particular problem for those of us with people-pleasing tendencies or social anxieties likely to make as comply with situational expectations we would really rather reject. But you shouldn't let this deprive you of the culturally vital and emotionally enriching glory hole experience. One solution is to pack a realistic dildo and a mouth shaped fleshlight, discreetly substituting them for your own body as needed using sleight of dick or sleight of mouth.

While not the ideal experience or what you were seeking you should still gain some benefit from being able to pleasure yourself to the thought and audible feedback of giving another man sexual satisfaction. In rare cases this may inadvertently result in D-in-F (dildo in fleshlight) sex: a reasonably desirable outcome for the sexual adventurer seeking to cross off as many niche sexual experiences as possible, or a minor but not particularly unpleasant inconvenience for anonymous blowjob purists or the more vanilla glory hole enthusiast.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 03:40

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

Moon Atari posted:

Gay Men's Health Magazine's Glory Hole Pro-Tips:

1. One of the things to keep in mind is that you can't guarantee you won't be met with an unusually grotesque, unhygienic or otherwise unworthy dick or mouth that you would never deign to suck or allow to suck you in any other context. This can be a particular problem for those of us with people-pleasing tendencies or social anxieties likely to make as comply with situational expectations we would really rather reject. But you shouldn't let this deprive you of the culturally vital and emotionally enriching glory hole experience. One solution is to pack a realistic dildo and a mouth shaped fleshlight, discreetly substituting them for your own body as needed using sleight of dick or sleight of mouth.

While not the ideal experience or what you were seeking you should still gain some benefit from being able to pleasure yourself to the thought and audible feedback of giving another man sexual satisfaction. In rare cases this may inadvertently result in D-in-F (dildo in fleshlight) sex: a reasonably desirable outcome for the sexual adventurer seeking to cross off as many niche sexual experiences as possible, or a minor but not particularly unpleasant inconvenience for anonymous blowjob purists or the more vanilla glory hole enthusiast.

Well when you put it like that... why not just stay home and masturbate?

# ? Oct 1, 2020 03:48

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

^^^sexual interaction is valuable even without direct physical contact, or else no one would bother with sexting or online erotic roleplay.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 03:52

JnnyThndrs: May 29, 2001; HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

LabyaMynora posted:

This one is good.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 04:00

a mysterious cloak: Apr 5, 2003; Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!

If I could save cum in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every drop
'Til eternity passes away
Just to suck it out of you

If I could suck cock forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd suck you every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would swallow them for you

But there never seems to be enough time
To suck all the cocks that you want to
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to blow
Through time with

If I had a box just for blowjobs
And holes I haven't sucked you off through
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how my mouth was punished by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To suck all the cocks that you want to
Once you find them
I've eaten enough dongs to know
That you're the one I want to blow
Through time with

# ? Oct 1, 2020 04:07

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Suck a panda's smelly rear end in a top hat
Suck a llama's hard dick
Suck a wooly mammoth's cock
Suck an alpaca's dick with Lawry's seasoned salt

Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick

Suck a hartebeest's rear end with Cheez Wiz
Suck a Croatian sheepdog's dick with Dijon mustard
Suck a Great Dane's rear end with A1 steak sauce
Suck a caribou's dick with Price Chopper imitation vanilla extract

Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick

Suck a Golden Retriever's smelly rear end
Suck a greyhound's dick like a lollipop
Suck a hyena's smelly bootyhole
Suck a bulldog's lovely rear end, you blasted motherfucker

Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick
Suck some glory hole dick

Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago,
Somethingawful.com
Do you have stairs in your house?

Here's some music to go along with the lyrics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBMWI100PJQ

# ? Oct 1, 2020 07:02

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:00

Panty Saluter: Jan 17, 2004; Making learning fun!

kinda

for cartoon dongs

https://i.imgur.com/a4aWMMJ.jpg

# ? Oct 1, 2020 16:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > I've never been to a glory hole restroom before

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